Films: B

BABA YAGA
1973
0
A female photographer comes under the influence of a Sapphic witch.
This attempt to put an Italian ‘fumetti’ on screen is a bit of a bizarre bore, comprising of military fetishism, kinky nudity, woozy dream sequences and little in the way of compelling storyline; there is a certain kitsch style but Danger: Diabolik did this sort of thing so much better.
Dir: Corrado Farina
Stars: Isabelle De Funes, Carroll Baker, George Eastman

BABE
1995
**
A pig loses its mother and grows up thinking it is a dog.
Ingenious whimsy, fresh and eccentric, if a little episodic.
Dir: Chris Noonan
Voices: Christine Cavanaugh, Miriam Margolyes, Danny Mann

BABE WATCH: FORBIDDEN PARODY
1996
0
Rival babes compete to be lifeguards.
Unseaworthy spoof of Baywatch, so cheap they couldn't have afforded costumes even if they'd wanted them.
Dir: Rick Sloane
Stars: Raelyn Saalman, Ashlie Rhey

BABEL
2006
***
Four global stories connected by a rifle that is used to accidentally shoot someone.
An impressive achievement in cinema, this is a bountifully produced but very human story of people in various stages of chaos; controlled with great expertise, the individual chapters are bracingly original and all the characters' motivations convincing. An immersive experience from Mexico's best director.
Dir: Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu
Stars: Brad Pitt, Cate Blanchett, Gael Garcia Bernal, Rinko Kikuchi, Adriana Barraza

BABES IN TOYLAND
1934
**
A pair of fools attempt to foil an invasion of bogey men.
Unusual Laurel and Hardy vehicle, unlike any of their other pictures with its fantastical fairy tale setting, it obviously can’t compete technically with modern movies but is mostly still very funny while Stan and Ollie are on screen – highlights include Stan’s ‘I’m housebroken’ (when he means ‘heartbroken’) and his ‘marriage’ to Barnaby – and the climactic battle is freewheeling fun, and highly imaginative.
Dir: Gus Meins, Charles Rogers
Stars: Stan Laurel, Oliver Hardy, Henry Brandon, Charlotte Henry

BABES IN TOYLAND
1961
0
A villain plans to kidnap a young man and marry his bride-to-be.
Shambolic, boring remake which actually features two dire Laurel and Hardy impersonators.
Dir: Jack Donohue
Stars: Ray Bolger, Tommy Sands, Ed Wynn, Tommy Kirk

BABY CAT
1983
0
A voluptuous model becomes involved with some dodgy dealers.
Dozy something (comedy? Thriller? Erotica?) that at time of writing had literally no reviews online! Which is quite something. For those looking for one: well, it's rubbish, it's just bad in all sorts of ways, there's not much else to say; sunny beaches can't always come to the rescue.
Dir: Pierre Unia
Stars: Julie Margo, Corinne Corson, Jean-François Garreaud

BABY DRIVER
2017
***
A young getaway driver swears he's done his last job, but...
There are moments here when cinema sings, when music, cinematography and editing come together to make sublimity, and the last half hour in particular is thrillingly good. A movie for people who like movies, it's thoroughly well cast and shot, and the director's best flick so far (plus, the poster was pleasingly retro, indicating a knowledge of film lore). Listen in to hear how the gunshots are in time with the beat.
Dir: Edgar Wright
Stars: Ansel Elgort, Lily James, Kevin Spacey, Jamie Foxx, Jon Hamm

BABY LOVE
1968
0
After her mother dies, a tearaway teenage girl goes to stay at a wealthy family's house, and causes chaos.
Ponderous Lolita-style drama which meanders towards a wishy-washy climax.
Dir: Alastair Reid
Stars: Linda Hayden, Ann Lynn, Keith Barron, Diana Dors, Dick Emery

BABY: SECRET OF THE LOST LEGEND
1985
*
Scientists discover dinosaurs living on a small island.
Agreeable small scale fantasy for a rainy day.
Dir: B W L Norton
Stars: Patrick McGoohan, Sean Young, William Katt

BABYLON

1980

*

Young black men in south London run a gauntlet of trouble.

Gritty racially based drama predictably reassessed as a masterwork by some critics because it paints a grim picture for black youth at the hands of white oppressors, but what they often ignore is that the black characters are hardly the most angelic of types, and, also, shouldn't the reaction to seeing all this be: hmmm, maybe post-war immigration policies weren't the most sensible policies ever enacted? In itself, it's very choppy narrative-wise but it has a certain gutsiness and admittedly some historical significance. Subtitles might have been an idea.

Dir: Franco Rosso

Stars: David N Haynes, Karl Howman, Trevor Laird, Mel Smith

BABYLON

2022

***

Players in early Hollywood attempt to deal with career challenges and the craziness of the industry.

Like a concert by The Clash, this starts at breakneck speed, and the effect is invigorating - and then it can't sustain this for the whole, massive three-hour running time, so some deflation is inevitably felt. What spectacle we get initially, though - a dazzling symphony of sound and image, with human beings at their most vibrant and scabrous. The middle section is fascinating too, showing how stressful and hellish it could be when shooting early talkies, with one bit with multiple attempted takes especially well shot, performed and edited. Later, there is too much of the Calva character, there's unwanted nastiness, and the whole thing collapses under the weight of its big ambitions, but there sure are some extraordinary parts to this profane, superb looking, hard-to-ignore picture which is passionate about the medium (and lost a lot of money).

Dir: Damien Chazelle

Stars: Margot Robbie, Brad Pitt, Diego Calva, Jovan Adep, Tobey Maguire

BACHELOR PARTY
1984
0
Friends of a man about to be married organise a wild party for him.
Poorly handled comedy of disaster and destruction.
Dir: Neal Israel
Stars: Tom Hanks, Tawny Kitaen, Barbara Stuart

BACK IN TIME
2015
*
Documentary about the Back To The Future movie trilogy.
This Kickstarter-funded, lo-fi project is a curious beast, a haphazardly ordered mix of Making Of and fan culture celebration, and can't be said to be a big success. While most of the main players (including a sadly debilitated Michael J Fox) speak, offering the odd fresh anecdote, there's way too much of the devotees, whether they be souping up DeLoreans, forming tribute bands or proposing to one another. Little of it is as uplifting as it should be, and viewers would be better advised to instead catch the bonus features that appear on DVD box sets of the trilogy.
Dir: Jason Aron

BACK ROOM BOY
1943
*
A timid little man looks after a lighthouse where crooks operate.
Genial star vehicle which borrows the plot of Oh Mr Porter, and some of the cast too.
Dir: Herbert Mason
Stars: Arthur Askey, Moore Marriott, Graham Moffat, Googie Withers

BACK STAB
1990
0
Seduced by a sexy woman, a man is set up as a murderer.
Deadly dull thriller.
Dir: Jim Kaufman
Stars: James Brolin, Meg Foster, June Chadwick

BACK TO NATURE

1932

*

Documentary about the relatively new practice of nudism in the US, Germany and France.

Apparently one of the very first nudist films, this is of historical interest; it'd be fascinating to have got the reactions of patrons who saw it at the time. It's almost as modest as you'd expect, and probably semi-honest at best.

Dir: Michael Mindlin

Narrator: Leo Donnelly

BACK TO THE FUTURE
1985
****
A teenager time travels back to 1955 where he accidentally prevents his parents from meeting.
Brilliant, free-flowing sci-fi fantasy made with care and affection, it's what super cinema's all about. The cast is perfect, the script is delightful and the whole experience is richly rewarding - how could anyone not like it?
Dir: Robert Zemeckis
Stars: Michael J Fox, Christopher Lloyd, Thomas F Wilson, Lea Thompson, Crispin Glover

BACK TO THE FUTURE PART 2
1989
****
Marty McFly travels to 2015 to save his family, then has to go back to 1955 to secure the future.
Ingenious, beautifully made sequel in which every second counts, making a totally compelling whole. Some foolish critics at the time failed to appreciate just how daring and dazzling it is; while a little darker than the original film it's no less an achievement.
Dir: Robert Zemeckis
Stars: Michael J Fox, Christopher Lloyd, Thomas F Wilson, Lea Thompson, Elizabeth Shue

BACK TO THE FUTURE PART 3
1990
***
Marty is forced to travel back to 1885 to save the Doc from assassination.
Splendid wrapping up of a series that used every Hollywood trick in the book, managing to squeeze maximum fun out of every situation for its two perfectly paired protagonists. This one's more of a good-humoured, romantic Western than sci-fi film but the exciting climactic train race is fabulous enough to grace any genre.
Dir: Robert Zemeckis
Stars: Michael J Fox, Christopher Lloyd, Thomas F Wilson, Mary Steenburgen, Lea Thompson

BACKBEAT
1994
**
In 1961, the Beatles go to gig in Hamburg, where guitarist Stuart Sutcliffe falls in love with a beautiful German photographer.
Enjoyable biopic that more or less successfully balances romance, humour, tragedy and good music. The performances aren’t remarkable – although Hart is vigorous as a rather angry Lennon – and the actual story would be of little interest if the band wasn’t the Beatles, but the era is successfully evoked on a moderate budget and the production has a fresh, sexy feel.
Dir: Iain Softley
Stars: Stephen Dorff, Ian Hart, Sheryl Lee, Gary Bakewell

BACKFIRE!
1961
**
An insurance scam at a cosmetics firm goes wrong.
One of the best Edgar Wallace Mysteries, one that starts slowly and goes a little silly right at the end but in-between offers a pleasingly developed tale that could easily have been fleshed out to turn the suspense screw more.
Dir: Paul Almond
Stars: Alfred Burke, Oliver Johnston, Zena Marshall, Noel Trevarthen

BACKFIRE

1987

0

A Vietnam veteran has troubles with memories and his wife.

Rotten thriller that could almost have been a TV product. Are these just bad actors or are they acting badly because they sense quality is low?

Dir: Gilbert Cates

Stars: Karen Allen, Keith Carradine, Jeff Fahey, Bernie Casey

BACON GRABBERS
1929
*
Stan and Ollie, as bailiffs, attempt to retrieve an unpaid for radio.
Similar in structure to Big Business (qv) this short isn't quite its equal but a battle with Kennedy is never a complete write-off. It's interesting to see how young California looked here, all new trees and houses just being built...
Dir: Lewis R Foster
Stars: Stan Laurel, Oliver Hardy, Edgar Kennedy, Jean Harlow, Charlie Hall

THE BAD AND THE BEAUTIFUL

1952

*

A writer, director and actress recall the movie producer they dislike.

Like many Minnelli films, you can only feel for the characters on a superficial level - there's a 'layer' between the audience and the onscreen drama. In any case, no one is especially likeable and because there isn't a central point of focus the attention is not always held; there's little romance or suspense or humour to enjoy. Would colour have helped? Hollywood aficionados might get something out of it because it's about Hollywood, even if it hardly scratches the surface of what really goes on there.

Dir: Vincente Minnelli

Stars: Kirk Douglas, Lana Turner, Walter Pidgeon, Dick Powell, Gloria Grahame

THE BAD BATCH
2016
0
A woman searches for a lost girl in a post-apocalyptic landscape full of cannibals.
Bad alright, a glacial, deeply pretentious load of rubbish that most people will give up on after 15 minutes; when the characters actually bother to speak it's such guff you wish they hadn't. How on earth did Jim Carrey come to appear in this? A Netflix original, so, in a way, not even a proper film.
Dir: Ana Lily Amirpour
Stars: Suki Waterhouse, Jason Momoa, Keanu Reeves, Jim Carrey

BAD BIOLOGY

2008

*

A woman with seven clitorises meets a man having problems with his snake-like penis.

You couldn’t have many other movies more suited to getting a rapturous reception at a horror film festival than Henenlotter’s long-awaited return to the screen: utterly insane and totally detached from the mainstream, it's among his best pics. Much of the acting and dialogue may be poor, but this is funny, sleazy, sexy, disgusting nonsense that usually hits the spot.

Dir: Frank Henenlotter

Stars: Charlee Danielson, Tom Kohut, Krista Ayne

BAD DAY AT BLACK ROCK
1955
***
A stranger arrives in an unfriendly town with a secret.
The plot’s thin, and much of the action now seems clichéd, but this suspenser was much copied, particularly the idea of the town with something to hide. Long passages of talk are interspersed with exciting bursts of combat.
Dir: John Sturges
Stars: Spencer Tracy, Robert Ryan, Dean Jagger, Ernest Borgnine, Lee Marvin

BAD DREAMS
1989
0
A girl in a mental hospital is troubled by the mad leader of a religious sect.
Weird Elm Street-like shocker with some psychedelic visuals, but not much else new.
Dir: Andrew Fleming
Stars: Jennifer Rubin, Bruce Abott, Dean Cameron

BAD GIRL
1931
*
A man and a woman meet and fall in love, but their relationship is not straightforward.
Of course it's dated, but this is a watchable enough slice of Depression-era drama, with some snappy dialogue and suitably raw bits of incident. More star wattage might have elevated it further.
Dir: Frank Borzage
Stars: James Dunn, Sally Eilers, Minna Gombell

BAD GIRLS FROM MARS
1991
0
A killer stalks a film studio.
The title deliberately misleads - this isn't sci-fi, it's a one-dollar, flea-bitten production with the killer obvious from the start.
Dir: Fred Olen Ray
Stars: Edy Williams, Oliver Darrow

BAD INFLUENCE
1989
*
A businessman finds his life is being taken over by a mysterious stranger.
Intriguing, original thriller with Lowe playing a fascinating character.
Dir: Curtis Hanson
Stars: Rob Lowe, James Spader, Lisa Zane

BAD LIEUTENANT
1992
**
A corrupt cop goes after thugs who raped a nun.
Stark, disturbing drama with a lead performance to match.
Dir: Abel Ferrara
Stars: Harvey Keitel, Victor Argo, Frankie Thorn

THE BAD SEED
1985 (TV)
0
A mother begins to suspect that her nine-year-old daughter is a killer.
Silly, chatty remake of the 1956 thriller; not much goes right.
Dir: Paul Wendkos
Stars: Blair Brown, Lynn Redgrave, David Carradine

BAD TASTE
1988
**
A task force is deployed to destroy invading aliens.
Probably one of the goriest movies ever, one can only laugh at the insane, overblown comic violence hung on the thin, economical storyline.
Dir: Peter Jackson
Stars: Terry Potter, Pete O’Herne, Peter Jackson

BAD TIMING
1980
*
A college professor has an intense relationship with a married woman.
Hard to ignore, painful to watch drama with an unflinching eye for disturbing detail.
Dir: Nicolas Roeg
Stars: Art Garfunkel, Theresa Russell, Harvey Keitel, Denholm Elliott, Daniel Massey

BADLANDS
1974
**
A dustman kills a girl's father and they go on a murderous trip across America.
Smooth, strange folk tale of some prescience.
Dir: Terrence Malick
Stars: Martin Sheen, Sissy Spacek, Warren Oates

BAFFLED!
1973 (TV)
0
A racing driver has visions of murder.
Muddled and uninvolving drama which makes little of its intriguing concept and not surprisingly wasn't picked up for the intended series.
Dir: Philip Leacock
Stars: Leonard Nimoy, Susan Hampshire, Vera Miles, Rachel Roberts

BAISE MOI
2000
0
Two wronged women go on a sex and killing spree.
Heartless, grubby sensationalism that gained notoriety by being one of the first truly sexually explicit films to be awarded an 18 certificate by the BBFC.
Dir: Virgine Despentes
Stars: Raffaela Anderson, Karen Bach

BAIT
2019
*
A Cornish fisherman resents those who have changed his town.
It was of course completely predictable that film critics would bend over backwards to laud this weird, arty drama (it has 100% on Rotten Tomatoes at time of writing), as it couldn't be more up their street, being shot on some ancient black and white camera, having all the dialogue done in post and, more crucially, presenting an un-nuanced diatribe on class warfare and unwelcome outsiders (one suspects the critics might not have been so adoring had the 'intruders' been non-white). Yes it's bracingly original, and obviously there's talent somewhere, but movies which tell a good story straight are preferable.
Dir: Mark Jenkin
Stars: Edward Rowe, Mary Woodvine, Simon Shepherd

LA BALANCE
1982
***
Undercover cops go on the trail of a violent drug dealer.
Gripping police thriller, a big hit in its native France.
Dir: Bob Swaim
Stars: Nathalie Baye, Philippe Leotard, Richard Berry

BALLAD OF A SOLDIER
1959
***
A young Russian soldier given leave journeys to briefly visit his mother.
One of the finest ever to come out of Russia, this is a beautifully made film that offers subtle comment on war, love and life, sagaciously sidestepping nationalism and propaganda. It's a voyage, a voyage into what it means to be a suffering human.
Dir: Grigoriy Chukhray
Stars: Vladimir Ivashov, Zhanna Prokhorenko, Antonina Maksimova

THE BALLOONATIC

1923

0

A man has adventures in the wild, courtesy of a hot air balloon.

Rather formless and episodic Keaton short, with flashes of superior ideas.

Dir: Edward F Cline, Buster Keaton

Stars: Buster Keaton, Phyllis Haver

BALTO
1995
*
In 1920s Alaska, a half-husky, half-wolf tries to save children from diphtheria.
Acceptable kids' cartoon. It's evident that more care was taken animating the backgrounds rather than the foregrounds.
Dir: Simon Wells
Voices: Kevin Bacon, Bob Hoskins, Bridget Fonda, Phil Collins, Miriam Margolyes

BAMBI
1942
****
After the death of its mother, a forest deer grows up in a forest often threatened by hunters.
Disney's most touching cartoon is a gentle, lyrical, brief feature which transports the viewer to a bucolic world of smiles and sadness.
Dir: David Hand
Voices: Hardie Albright, Sam Edwards, Fred Shields

BANANAS

1971

**

A meek consumer products tester becomes a rebel hero in South America.

Early Allen comedy which marries slapstick with vaguely satirical skits and generally comes up smelling of roses. So many different gags are attempted - and so many are quite mad - that even though not all of them work there are enough of them to make it a funny experience. Watched now, you're surprised that the title credits aren't in the what would become familiar Allen style.

Dir: Woody Allen

Stars: Woody Allen, Louise Lasser, Carlos Montalban

THE BAND WAGON
1953
**
A pretentious director changes a Broadway musical beyond recognition.
Salubriously staged, straightforward musical that doesn't engage on an emotional level.
Dir: Vincente Minnelli
Stars: Fred Astaire, Cyd Charisse, Oscar Levant, Jack Buchanan

THE BANK DICK
1940
**
A lush is lured into a scheme to buy beefsteak shares in a mine.
One of Fields’ better vehicles, a mix of different comedy styles, including sight gags, surrealism, wisecracks and physical comedy, it occasionally shows up the star as being well past his best physically and verbally, but moves quickly and doesn’t outstay its welcome.
Dir: Edward F Cline
Stars: W C Fields, Cora Witherspoon, Una Merkel, Evelyn Del Rio, Shemp Howard

BANK HOLIDAY
1938
**
Various lives cross on a wet British bank holiday.
Charming comic drama which says a lot about folk of the time.
Dir: Carol Reed
Stars: John Lodge, Margaret Lockwood, Hugh Williams

THE BANSHEES OF INISHERIN

2022

**

On an island off Ireland in 1923, two friends fall out.

Well, this is different. Very different, quite unlike anything made before. But is it good? It's certainly very well acted, shot and scripted, but the behaviour of the characters - especially Gleeson's - is just so peculiar and irrational, with no real explanation, that you can't help but have your hackles raised. Ah, but it's a metaphor they say, a metaphor for the senselessness and madness of war, most notably the Irish Civil War raging at the time. Okay, fine, but these are people, not countries, and it does affect your engagement with them; also, the unfamiliar milieu may unsettle. Still, full marks for originality.

Dir: Martin McDonagh

Stars: Colin Farrell, Brendan Gleeson, Kerry Condon, Barry Keoghan

BANZAI RUNNER
1986
0
An anti-speeding policeman infiltrates a joy racing gang.
Tedious adventure which stops for moralising.
Dir: John G Thomas
Stars: Dean Stockwell, John Shepherd

BARAKA
1992
*
A series of images mostly from the East, with no story attached but a vague environmental theme.
A meticulously shot film that is raised above travelogue by its technical merits and the obvious endeavour that went into it – indeed, the making of documentary that comes as an extra on the DVD is more consistently interesting than the main feature because it details the many difficulties that the filmmakers faced.
Dir: Ron Fricke

BARB WIRE
1995
0
In the war-torn future, a female warrior battles wrong-doers.
Light-headed sci-fi romp with hackneyed character and style nuances, merely a vehicle for the becoming star.
Dir: David Hogan
Stars: Pamela Anderson, Temuera Morrison, Udo Kier

BARBARELLA
1967
*
In the 40th century, a beautiful female astronaut prevents a ray from being stolen by an intergalactic villain, Duran Duran.
Campy, colourful, naughty sci-fi comic; a very tolerable form of entertainment.
Dir: Roger Vadim
Stars: Jane Fonda, John Phillip Law, Anita Pallenberg, Milo O’Shea

BARBARIAN

2022

*

A woman finds herself double-booked at an Airbnb with another man. Can she trust him?

Oh, what a shame. As so often happens, this starts off as a tense psychological thriller for adults but later turns into another broad, chase-'em-around horror for teenagers which enters the realms of fantasy and becomes desperately ridiculous by its conclusion (it does the easier part - the set-up - and struggles with the later stuff). Subtlety disappears and in comes jump-scares, indestructible killers, the world's biggest basement and unlikely policemen. A poorly titled movie with a vaguely feminist underpinning that's a curate's egg.

Dir: Zach Cregger

Stars: Georgina Campbell, Bill Skarsgard, Justin Long

THE BARBARIAN INVASIONS
2003
**
A lecturer dying of cancer is comforted by family and friends as he remembers his life.
A movie which offers much to chew over and allows different interpretations of the characters and its political issues; it’s certainly full of original thinking but doesn’t engage one hundred per cent because the characters are barely sympathetic and the subject matter inevitably depressing.
Dir: Denys Arcand
Stars: Remy Girard, Stephane Rousseau, Marie-Josee Croze, Marina Hands

BARBARIAN MASTER
1983
0
A young warrior battles an evil witch.
Pseudonymous Conan copy, made by the talentless and seen by the luckless.
Dir: Michele Massimo Tarantini
Stars: Pietro Torrisi, Yvonne Fraschetti, Al Huang

BARBARIAN QUEEN
1984
0
A bride-to-be takes revenge on those who have destroyed her village.
Mindless cut-rate sword and sorcery full of gratuitous gore and nudity.
Dir: Hector Olivera
Stars: Lana Clarkson, Katt Shea, Dawn Dunlap

BARBARIAN QUEEN II (THE EMPRESS STRIKES BACK)
1988
0
A queen is thrown out of her castle and falls in with a band of female warriors.
If you've ever wanted to see a movie that looks like it was made by the local amateur dramatics club then this is for you: both the physical action and the performances are certainly on that level. It has a sort of plucky charm, is never nasty, and at least isn't studio bound, what with the rubbishy plot taking place a lot of the time in a Mexican forest.
Dir: Joe Finley
Stars: Lana Clarkson, Greg Wrangler, Rebecca Wood

THE BARBARIANS
1987
0
Twin brothers attempt to rescue an imprisoned princess.
Dumb fantasy, a pain to sit through.
Dir: Ruggero Deodato
Stars: Peter Paul, David Paul, Richard Lynch

BARBED WIRE DOLLS
1975
0
Incarcerated women are subject to a harsh, unforgiving regime.
Senseless Franco trash; a slow motion dream sequence has the director at his very worst.
Dir: Jess Franco
Stars: Lina Romay, Paul Muller, Eric Falk

BARBIE

2023

*

Barbie has an existential crisis and has to journey to the real world.

One of the most politics-obsessed films ever made - although a lot of the audience won't realise that - this curious enterprise was a roaring success, perhaps because of the huge hype around it and perhaps because they'd been starved of non-sequel, novel movies for some time. Visually it's sumptuous, but narratively it's nowhere near as focused as something like The Truman Show, which it vaguely resembles - its meandering storyline rarely connects, and its final third is like some social justice lecture by someone who, if their worldview is anything like what the script suggests, must be risibly misguided, or perhaps live in Iran or Afghanistan. It sociologically bites off more than it can possibly chew, but doesn't give a damn about that. 

Dir: Greta Gerwig

Stars: Margot Robbie, Ryan Gosling, Issa Rae, Kate McKinnon, Will Ferrell

BARE BEHIND BARS
1980
0
In a woman's prison where lesbianism is rampant, the warders are as bad as the inmates.
Loony and in its way fascinating exploitation piece with lots of nudity and debauched behaviour – there’s certainly no film craft here but its laughable sleaziness is vaguely endearing.
Dir: Oswaldo De Oliveira
Stars: Maria Stella Splendore, Marta Anderson, Danielle Ferrite

THE BARE BREASTED COUNTESS
1973
0
A female vampire felates her victims to death.
There’s not just breasts here, there’s an amazing amount of nudity that practically places it in the category of porn. Shame there’s terrible pacing, music, acting, scripting and camerawork.
Dir: Jess Franco
Stars: Lina Romay, Jack Taylor, Jess Franco

THE BAREFOOT CONTESSA

1954

0

The short film career of a female Spanish star.

Boring and artificial drama with more attention paid to the costumes and the colour palette than the characters, or showing what the characters do.

Dir: Joseph L Mankiewicz

Stars: Humphrey Bogart, Ava Gardner, Edmond O'Brien, Marius Goring

BARFLY
1987
**
A bar regular brawls and drinks his way through life despite having literary talent.
As written by Bukowski, this is a must-watch for fans because it wisely stays in the slightly skewed reality zone of the drunkard and presents archetypal, droll episodes that could only spring from the mind (and life) of this author. Pity Rourke’s way of speaking is rather irritating.
Dir: Barbet Schroeder
Stars: Mickey Rourke, Faye Dunaway, Alice Krige, Frank Stallone

BARNACLE BILL
1957
*
A sea captain takes over a run-down pier and transforms it.
Temperate comedy which suffers in comparison with previous Ealing classics.
Dir: Charles Frend
Stars: Alec Guinness, Maurice Denham, Richard Wattis, Lionel Jeffries

BARON BLOOD
1972
0
A murderous 300-year-old nobleman is brought back to life.
Laboured horror that’s dismally scripted and acted - Elke Sommer unites these two factors as she screams and screams again, with tiresome results.
Dir: Mario Bava
Stars: Elke Sommer, Joseph Cotten, Massimo Girotti

BARON MUNCHAUSEN
1962
*
An astronaut journeys to the moon only to find famed liar Baron Munchausen and his friends.
Crazy adaptation of a crazy story, here done with real figures on animated landscape, it's imaginative if a trifle arid in execution.
Dir: Karel Zeman
Stars: Milos Kopecky, Rudolf Jelinek

BARRACUDA
1978
0
A local town's water supply is poisoned, affecting both the people and the fish.
Pleasingly awful fishy thriller in Jaws's wake but featuring our piscine friends for just a fraction of the running time; instead there's stodgy, badly acted drama concerning a strange conspiracy. It's hard to really dislike though, and the very final scene is great.
Dir: Harry Kerwin, Wayne Crawford
Stars: Wayne Crawford, Jason Evers, Roberta Leighton

THE BARRETTS OF WIMPOLE STREET
1934
*
The tyrannical father of the Barrett sisters stops them from finding true love.
Very stagey and very talky drama that still has merit, in part due to the performances (especially Laughton), but it is somewhat stretched out for the story. Cute dog.
Dir: Sidney Franklin
Stars: Norma Shearer, Fredric March, Charles Laughton, Maureen O'Sullivan

BARRY LYNDON
1975
****
The adventures of a young Irishman in the 18th century.
Beautifully made and beautiful to look at, this Kubrick masterwork is sumptuous and fascinating from one scene to the next thanks to the perfectionism of the director; the viewer is transported to another time and place, facilitated by immaculate costumes, props, hairstyles and dialogue. It also benefits from several great British character actors and superbly chosen classical music: the whole experience is one of immersive, total cinema.
Dir: Stanley Kubrick
Stars: Ryan O’Neal, Marisa Berenson, Patrick Magee, Steven Berkoff, Andre Morell, Leonard Rossiter

BARRY McKENZIE HOLDS HIS OWN

1974

0

Australians come to Europe; one, Edna Everage, is kidnapped by vampires.

There aren't many movies quite as obsessed with nationalism as this one, a rather tiresome and stupid comedy with irritating quirks like random subtitles and Pleasence's speech defect. A follow-up to 1972's The Adventures Of Barry McKenzie, it at least offers some pleasingly frank Aussie crudity, which is like a form of vulgar poetry.

Dir: Bruce Beresford

Stars: Barry Crocker, Barry Humphries, Donald Pleasence, Clive James

BARTON FINK
1991
*
A struggling writer is distracted by strange goings on in his apartment.
Not too much happens in this perplexing fantasy, but its oddness keeps the attention.
Dir: Joel Coen
Stars: John Turturro, John Goodman, Judy Davis

BASED ON A TRUE STORY
2017
0
A successful novelist has an obsessive admirer come into her life.
The director used to deal in dazzlingly original cinema: here he just sticks several old movies (Persona, Single White Female, Misery, Fight Club etc) in the blender and lumpily pours it out. A tale lacking in zip and pizzazz is also full of improbabilities - such as why an intelligent author would allow what she allows to happen - although the twist ending is presumably meant to quash such niggles. There was, of course, no US or UK release, as Polanski is now persona non grata in those territories.
Dir: Roman Polanski
Stars: Emmanuelle Seigner, Eva Green

BASIC INSTINCT
1992
*
A screwed-up cop has two strange girlfriends, one of whom may be a killer.
Brash, tawdry thriller that caught the public mood; the sex and nudity rather helped.
Dir: Paul Verhoeven
Stars: Michael Douglas, Sharon Stone, George Dzundza

BASIC INSTINCT 2
2006
0
Catherine Tramell is living in London, and murders seem to follow her around.
Even more absurd sequel, about as erotic as a damp tea bag, saddled with actors who clearly know their material is risible, and a director who singularly fails to inject life into any of the scenes.
Dir: Michael Caton-Jones
Stars: David Morrissey, Sharon Stone, David Thewlis, Charlotte Rampling

BASIL THE GREAT MOUSE DETECTIVE
1986
**
A clever mouse investigator saves the Queen from the evil Ratigan.
Slim but smart cartoon feature with splendid sequences in a shop, by a mousetrap and atop Big Ben.
Dir: John Musker et al
Voices: Vincent Price, Barrie Ingham, Val Bettin

BASKET CASE
1982
*
A young man and his grotesque telepathic twin carry out a series of killings.
Seedy shocker which gained a cult status thanks to its wonderfully scuzzy look and balls-out attitude, evident in everything from its very gory effects to its incredibly loud screaming. A grotty low-fi gem that really captures the time and place it was made in; pity they had to do two sequels.
Dir: Frank Henenlotter
Stars: Kevin Van Hentenryck, Terri Susan Smith, Beverly Bonner

BASKET CASE 2
1990
0
Belial moves in with fellow freaks but a reporter is on his trail.
More mainstream second part which has its funny moments, but is nowhere near as effective as the original because of its polished look and goofy humour. This time round there's no disguising how awful Van Hentenryck's performance is and the freaks would be more at home in Star Wars's Cantina rather than a horror film.
Dir: Frank Henenlotter
Stars: Kevin Van Hentenryck, Judy Grafe, Annie Ross

BASKET CASE 3
1992
0
Eve gives birth to her and Belial's numerous gruesome babies.
Unbearable rubbish even further removed from the ethos of the original, this second follow-up is consistently buffoonish and crass, a truly execrable experience. If the overacting doesn't make you wretch, the dire make-up will.
Dir: Frank Henenlotter
Stars: Kevin Van Hentenryck, Annie Ross, Gil Roper

THE BASKETBALL DIARIES
1995
0
A promising young basketball star turns into a drug addict.
Gritty biopic that's not much fun; we've seen it all before.
Dir: Scott Kalvert
Stars: Leonardo DiCaprio, Lorraine Bracco, Mark Wahlberg, Juliette Lewis

THE BAT
1959
0
A money-hungry killer called The Bat is at large in a mansion full of people.
Pitiable horror which sees a lot of under-directed actors wandering around a house, not overly concerned that there's a murderer around.
Dir: Crane Wilbur
Stars: Vincent Price, Agnes Moorehead, Gavin Gordon, John Sutton

BATES MOTEL
1987 (TV)
0
Norman Bates leaves his motel to a young friend, who also encounters murder and mayhem.
Weird, weary attempt at partially remaking Psycho 2 and 3, it also features a sentimental supernatural sub-plot.
Dir: Richard Rothstein
Stars: Bud Cort, Lori Petty, Moses Gunn

BATMAN
1943 (serial)
0
Batman battles the evil Dr Daka, who is in search of deadly radium.
The first movie Batman provides predictable, archaic thrills, as the purer than pure goodies battle the horribler than horrible baddies - time after time after time.
Dir: Lambert Hillyer
Stars: Lewis Wilson, Douglas Croft, J Carrol Naish

BATMAN

1966

*

The Caped Crusader faces the combined villainy of Catwoman, Riddler, Joker and Penguin.

Fairly successful big screen version of a frequently delightful, high camp television series. Very similar to the show in style, it exhibits West's wonderfully earnest take on the lead character, while allowing the other actors to have a ball too; there are several funny, nutty sequences that show it off best, such as Batman running around with the bomb, the Batcopter happening to land at a Foam Rubber Wholesalers Convention, the benevolent porpoise, the shark-repellent spray and just the fact that no one guesses anyone's secret identities. If anything, the movie picks up more in the second half when the hilarious dehydration plan comes into play, and overall it captures a fun, colourful, not too serious point in pop culture history that thankfully existed.

Dir: Leslie Martinson

Stars: Adam West, Burt Ward, Lee Meriwether, Cesar Romero, Burgess Meredith, Frank Gorshin

BATMAN
1989
**
Batman battles the Joker, who killed his parents many years ago.
A 'big' movie in every sense of the word, this is a million miles away from any of its filmic predecessors, and while it may not be as entertaining as, say, the Christopher Reeve Superman films, it can at least be admired for its set pieces, gargantuan cityscapes and Nicholson's demented Joker. The first film in Britain to be awarded a '12' certificate.
Dir: Tim Burton
Stars: Michael Keaton, Jack Nicholson, Kim Basinger, Michael Gough, Jack Palance

BATMAN AND ROBIN
1949 (serial)
0
The dynamic duo battle the Wizard, who has a versatile and deadly control device.
Standard, rather humourless serial with an unspectacular looking Batman.
Dir: Spencer Bennet
Stars: Robert Lowery, John Duncan, Jane Adams

BATMAN & ROBIN
1997
0
The heroic pair takes on Mr Freeze, Poison Ivy and the steroid-pumped Bane.
While not quite the turkey it’s usually said to be, this is the worst Batman movie and the one that killed off the franchise for a few years. Its main problems are several cardboard characters (including Batgirl), a pun-heavy script, an overdose of camp, unclear action and a story that achieves very little; it’s not a boring film, especially for kids, but fans will never come round to it.
Dir: Joel Schumacher
Stars: George Clooney, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Chris O’Donnell, Uma Thurman, Alicia Silverstone, Michael Gough, Elle Macpherson

BATMAN BEGINS
2005
*
How Bruce Wayne became Batman - and his attempt to save Gotham City.
Defiantly serious, we-are-the-ultimate-version interpretation of the comic which largely eschews fun for dark psychosis. At least it's well enough done and looks good, if gloomy.
Dir: Christopher Nolan
Stars: Christian Bale, Michael Caine, Liam Neeson, Katie Holmes, Gary Oldman, Morgan Freeman, Rutger Hauer, Cillian Murphy

BATMAN FOREVER
1995
*
The Caped Crusader, with Robin, takes on Two Face and the Riddler.
Lighter in tone than its two predecessors, this is more up for fun rather than offering any sort of depth.
Dir: Joel Schumacher
Stars: Val Kilmer, Tommy Lee Jones, Jim Carrey, Nicole Kidman, Chris O’Donnell, Michael Gough, Drew Barrymore

BATMAN RETURNS
1992
*
Batman tries to stop the Penguin from becoming mayor of Gotham City.
Deep and dark fantasy which creates its own unique universe; very well done but the pace may be too slow for some.
Dir: Tim Burton
Stars: Michael Keaton, Danny DeVito, Michelle Pfeiffer, Christopher Walken, Michael Gough

BATMAN V SUPERMAN: DAWN OF JUSTICE

2016

*

Batman believes that Superman is out of control so challenges him to combat.

Long, portentous and hilariously gloomy stuff which gives the viewer an awful lot to chew on - that's if they haven't been battered into submission. At least it's different from most previous comic strip adaptations, with lots of talent of various kinds on show, but you could easily find fault if you wished - with, say, Eisenberg's annoying Lex Luthor, or Adams' one-expression Lois, or the CGI monster near the end. Are there many children who would gladly watch this time and time again, as some of us did with the likes of Superman II?

Dir: Zack Snyder

Stars: Ben Affleck, Henry Cavill, Amy Adams, Jesse Eisenberg, Gal Gadot

BATTERIES NOT INCLUDED
1987
0
Tiny aliens save an old couple's apartment from being demolished.
Cocoon meets Close Encounters in a cloyingly sentimental fantasy produced by the busy Mr Spielberg.
Dir: Matthew Robbins
Stars: Hume Cronyn, Jessica Tandy, Frank McRae

BATTLE BENEATH THE EARTH
1967
*
Chinese soldiers tunnel underground to destroy America.
Endearing sci-fi with no pretensions and plenty going on.
Dir: Montgomery Tully
Stars: Kerwin Mathews, Robert Ayres, Peter Arne

BATTLE BEYOND THE STARS
1980
*
A planet intent on peace hires bounty hunters for protection.
Above average Roger Corman production, a cheeky updating of Seven Samurai, its impressive special effects turned up in several of his other cheapies.
Dir: Jimmy T Murakami
Stars: Richard Thomas, Robert Vaughn, John Saxon, George Peppard, Sybil Danning

BATTLE FOR THE PLANET OF THE APES

1973

*

Apes take over the planet but begin to quarrel among themselves.

The fifth and final entry in the series might be the weakest of the sequels, following on from Conquest, which might be the strongest (though none bear comparison to the original). Showing what happens after all revolutions - in-fighting - it's a bit rambling, muddled, dull and lifeless, with the series running out of ways to make you think new philosophical thoughts. Overall, as a franchise it was rather silly, made some good social points and provided colourful protagonists youngsters loved.

Dir: J Lee Thompson

Stars: Roddy McDowall, Claude Akins, Severn Darden, Lew Ayres

THE BATTLE OF ALGIERS
1965
***
An account of the troubles caused by Algerians asserting their independence in the face of French colonial rule.
Remarkably vivid recreation of a conflict in which both sides were guilty of unlawful killing, much of its content, including the terrorist attacks on European targets and bombers making their escape dressed in burqas, appears particularly relevant today. The newsreel style filming gives it a gritty historical worthiness.
Dir: Gillo Pontecorvo
Stars: Brahim Haggiag, Jean Martin, Yacef Saadi

THE BATTLE OF THE CENTURY
1927
*
Stan and Ollie start a massive custard pie fight.
A fairly rudimentary short elevated by its pie fight, one of the biggest in cinema history. A large chunk of footage was lost for nearly 90 years but, brilliantly, was found in 2015.
Dir: Clyde Bruckman
Stars: Stan Laurel, Oliver Hardy

THE BATTLE OF THE SEXES
1960
**
A female efficiency expert threatens the status quo of an old Scottish tweed firm.
Likeable sub-Ealing comedy with the star making a completely convincing elderly Scotsman; the highlight is the sequence near the end where Sellers' character 'unwinds' all the things he does in the woman's apartment. It's interesting to note, culturally, that the film is very much on the side of the 'patriarchy', not the female with refreshing new ideas.
Dir: Charles Crichton
Stars: Peter Sellers, Robert Morley, Constance Cummings, Ernest Thesiger, Donald Pleasence

THE BATTLE OF THE SEXES
2013
*
Documentary about the 1970s feminist movement and the part a hugely hyped tennis match between Billie Jean King and Bobby Riggs played in it.
The central tennis match only takes up around ten minutes near the end, and unfortunately isn't particularly clearly shown: before that we get a moderately interesting film about social change and the role sport had in it. Any feminists keen to claim that the incident showed that women are as good tennis players as men would be unwise to - Riggs was around 25 years past his prime at this point. It's also a shame that film fails to mention that King and Riggs became close friends until his death.
Dir: James Erskine, Zara Hayes

BATTLE OF THE SEXES
2017
**
A fictionalised version of the above film, with a greater focus on King's homosexual awakening.
Entertaining, efficient drama which gives Stone plenty of opportunity to shine and Carell not enough to do. It impressively creates the look and social situations of the time - critics who effectively said its approach isn't PC enough completely missed the point - and the climactic match is well shot, taking on a meaning here that few at the time would have inferred: but the makers had to add something, because, as stated above, it was hardly a triumph for women's sport.
Dir: Jonathan Dayton, Valerie Faris
Stars: Emma Stone, Steve Carell, Andrea Riseborough, Sarah Silverman

THE BATTLE OF THE SOMME
1916
*
This film was the result of two cameramen’s work in one of the major battles of World War 1, and had propaganda worth at the time, apparently selling 20 million tickets. A few scenes are faked, and the general technique now appears rudimentary, but it retains great value because it shows the human aspect of the conflict, as many of its shots are filled with the gazing, often smiling faces of the men who look so alive but would in all probability soon be dead. A 2008 DVD came with a booklet, an interview with a war historian and a new musical score.
Dir: n/a

BATTLE OF THE STARS
1979
0
Aliens duplicate humans and prepare to invade Earth.
Adorably tacky and garish sci-fi, more fun than Plan 9 From Outer Space, which it bears some similarity to.
Dir: Alfonso Brecia
Stars: John Richardson, Yanti Sommer, Percy Hogan

BATTLEGROUND
1949
*
US soldiers fight the Battle of the Bulge.
Although this was all shot on a sound stage, its crisply photographed snowy landscapes look very real, and the actors do good impersonations of under-pressure soldiers, although we don't get to properly know any of them. A solid war picture for those who like this kind of thing.
Dir: William A Wellman
Stars: Van Johnson, John Hodiak, Marshall Thompson, Ricardo Montalban

THE BATTLESHIP POTEMKIN
1925
**
Russian sailors revolt against their cruel officers.
A movie milestone, one which is easier to admire than feel affection towards, whose fast cutting has ensured it has retained much of its vitality; the Odessa steps sequence is of course magnificent but there’s a feeling of sadness and anger in watching the final scenes of celebration involving men who would spend the remainder of the days under the awfulness of state socialism.
Dir: Sergei Eisenstein
Stars: A Antonov, Grigori Alexandrov, Vladimir Barsky

BATTLESTAR GALACTICA
1978
0
Earthlings on their way back to their planet do battle with troublesome Cylons.
Pulled together from episodes of a TV series, this is a bit of a toil.
Dir: Richard A Colla
Stars: Richard Hatch, Dirk Benedict, Lorne Green, Jane Seymour, Ray Milland

BATTLETRUCK
1982
0
In the post-holocaust future, the land is ruled by those with the best vehicular hardware.
Competent sci-fi with plenty of action against its barren, Mad Max-like landscape.
Dir: Harley Cokeliss
Stars: Michael Beck, Annie McEnroe, John Ratzenberger

THE BAXTER
2005
0
A nerdy man keeps getting dumped.
Stupefyingly bad, totally misfiring comedy, a manual on how not to make a movie; lifeless, joyless and flavourless, it begs questions like: what exactly is the plot here? Are we actually meant to like this nerd? Is naming a character Benson Hedges meant to be funny? Was it the makers’ intention to release this to the public? It’s like watching death.
Dir: Michael Showalter
Stars: Michael Showalter, Elizabeth Banks, Michelle Williams

BAY COVE
1987 (TV)
0
A couple move to an island where the residents appear to be witches.
Hopeless claptrap in which everything is telegraphed miles in advance. Hasn't the silly woman seen Rosemary's Baby?
Dir: Carl Schenkel
Stars: Pamela Sue Martin, Tim Matheson, Woody Harrelson

A BAY OF BLOOD
1971
*
Those in the way of a property development are gruesomely bumped off.
Potty horror in its own warped little world, probably an inspiration for the slasher films of the next decade. Here the killings are excitingly effective.
Dir: Mario Bava
Stars: Claudine Auger, Luigi Pistilli

BAYWATCH
2017
0
Californian lifeguards foil a drug smuggling plot.
Unlikeable updating of an old television series most watched for its bikini-clad women. Here we have two muscleheads fronting a more violent and sweary version of what’s gone before, and it only disappoints - for instance, the ‘nudity’ promised by the BBFC’s consumer information turns out to be only that of a dead man’s penis, and former stars David Hasselhoff and Pamela Anderson, who are listed in the opening credits, only put in very brief (especially Anderson) and completely worthless appearances. In what should have been a fun, light movie, there isn’t a single good laugh in the whole overlong, coarse, private part-obsessed (yet at the same time prudish), dumb fiasco.
Dir: Seth Gordon
Stars: Dwayne Johnson, Zac Efron, Alexandra Daddario, Kelly Rohrbach

THE BAWDY ADVENTURES OF TOM JONES
1975
0
In 18th century England, a young man has various amorous adventures.
The film version of Fielding's novel that no one knows isn't terrible but is a little trifling, a light-hearted semi-musical (there are just three quick numbers). Decent actors aren't quite at their best, especially Howard, who bellows his every line. There is a brief, very funny moment with a baby and a church font, though.
Dir: Cliff Owen
Stars: Nicky Henson, Trevor Howard, Joan Collins, Terry-Thomas, Arthur Lowe, Georgia Brown, Madeline Smith, Murray Melvin

BE BIG
1930
**
Stan and Ollie plot to escape from their wives to go to a stag party.
A sort of precursor to Sons Of The Desert, with the latter part taken up by Ollie's attempts to get a tight boot off, a routine that could have been tedious in anyone but these comic masters’ hands. There are hilarious moments throughout, including witty use of sound effects, and a side-splitting climax.
Dir: James Parrott
Stars: Stan Laurel, Oliver Hardy, Anita Garvin, Isabelle Keith, Charlie Hall

NB Remade, reasonably well, in French as Les Carottiers and in Spanish as Los Calaveras, incorporating Laughing Gravy (qv).

THE BEACH GIRLS
1981
0
A teenage girl gets the use of her uncle's beach pad for the summer.
Shambling, hamfisted and amateurish (look out for the appearances of the microphone at the top of the screen), this fair-natured teen comedy is nevertheless hard to hate, as one girl after another takes her top off and young people enjoy freedom to the full. Who cares if the plot's rubbish, the actors awful and the humour totally clunky when the nudity's this great?!
Dir: Bud Townsend
Stars: Debra Blee, Val Kline, Jeana Keough

THE BEACH GIRLS AND THE MONSTER

1965

0

Beach girls meet a monster; as do some blokes.

Obviously it's pointless to analyse this film on a critical level, as everything - the story, the acting, the photography, the monster - are all worse than grade Z, but perhaps you could regard it as a deep sociological study of the clash between generations in the late 20th century and how family relationships are pressurised by capitalist liberal democracy. Perhaps. Music by Frank Sinatra Jr!

Dir: Jon Hall

Stars: Jon Hall, Sue Casey, Walker Edmiston

THE BEACHCOMBER

1954

*

On an island in the Indian Ocean, the new British ruler has to deal with a drunken expat, Welsh missionaries and a cholera epidemic.

A further version of Maugham's Vessel Of Wrath, previously shot in 1938 (qv), here given vivid colour thanks to filming in Sri Lanka (although it is not above mixing studio footage with obvious backdrops). As before, lusty performances also bolster it, especially Newton as Ted, which was a perfect fit. It's quite pleasant on a sunny afternoon to slip back into the world of colonialism as expertly curated by W Somerset.

Dir: Muriel Box

Stars: Donald Sinden, Robert Newton, Glynis Johns, Paul Rogers, Donald Pleasence

BEAN
1997
*
An accident-prone man is put in charge of a valuable painting.
Easily digestible big-screen version of the TV comedy, perhaps not as funny or, not surprisingly, as succinct as the small-screen adventures, but painless and well performed.
Dir: Mel Smith
Stars: Rowan Atkinson, Peter MacNicol, Pamela Reed, Burt Reynolds, John Mills

BEAR ISLAND
1980
0
Ex-Nazis search for hidden gold in the Arctic.
Middling Alistair MacLean thriller: presentation perfunctory, action adequate, plot unlikely.
Dir: Don Sharp
Stars: Donald Sutherland, Vanessa Redgrave, Richard Widmark, Christopher Lee, Lloyd Bridges

THE BEAST
1975
*
A young woman fantasises about being raped by a huge beast.
After a talkative and pedestrian first half (with the exception of the randy horses), this turns into an eye-popping spectacle of the like never seen before or since on the silver screen, as Lane does all kinds of things with the well-hung creature. Be thankful for filmmakers willing to take risks, even if the result is flawed.
Dir: Walerian Borowczyk
Stars: Sirpa Lane, Lisbeth Hummel, Elisabeth Kaza

BEAST FROM HAUNTED CAVE
1959
0
Crooks meet their match in a strange beast in the snowy wilderness.
Unusual little horror with fairly sound technical credits and some still disconcerting, grotesque moments. It's quite slow, talkative and character-driven - almost Tarantino-esque - and comes to a rather sudden conclusion.
Dir: Monte Hellman
Stars: Michael Forest, Sheila Noonan, Frank Wolff, Richard Sinatra

THE BEAST FROM 20,000 FATHOMS
1952
0
An atomic explosion causes a frozen dinosaur to go on the rampage.
The monster is well animated but the picture as a whole flat and undistinguished.
Dir: Eugene Lourie
Stars: Paul Hubschmid, Paula Raymond, Lee Van Cleef

THE BEAST IN HEAT
1977
0
During World War 2, Nazis conduct torture experiments while the resistance tries to stop them.
One of the sleaziest of all the video nasties, this infamous film is incoherent, incompetent and hilariously horrible – ‘highlights’ include pubic hair being torn out and eaten, a baby tossed in the air and machinegunned and guinea pigs dressed as rats gnawing at a naked woman. It’s not hard to see why it was banned.
Dir: Luigi Batzella
Stars: Macha Magall, Gino Turini, Salvatore Baccaro

THE BEAST IN SPACE
1980
0
A female space traveller sees her dreams of being chased by a terrible beast come true on a remote alien planet.
Sleazy sci-fi of barely believable rubbishness, an unofficial sequel to Borowczyk’s The Beast, that is for a time like a bad episode of Star Trek and then turns into an interminable shagfest, including scenes with a hairy man with a fawn’s legs and an enormous appendage. So-bad-it’s-surreal dialogue and special effects will keep trash film fans happy.
Dir: Alfonso Brescia
Stars: Sirpa Lane, Vassili Karis, Marina Hedman

THE BEAST IN THE CELLAR
1971
0
Two sisters keep a deadly secret in the cellar.
Suspenseless and twistless shocker, not a goer. A lot of it features extensive dialogue from Reid, quite irritating here, explaining to the audience what is going on; she might have explained how someone who is weak and feeble after being locked up for decades could possibly pose a threat to armed soldiers. His killings are shot in a fast-cutting, unsatisfactory fashion that is barely horrific.
Dir: James Kelley
Stars: Beryl Reid, Flora Robson, John Hamill, Tessa Wyatt

THE BEAST MUST DIE
1974
*
A wealthy big-game hunter holds a party to find a werewolf.
Nice horror variation on And Then There Were None; quirky touches include a 'Werewolf Break' near the end, where the audience is asked to guess the true identity of the hairy, long-toothed one.
Dir: Paul Annett
Stars: Calvin Lockhart, Peter Cushing, Anton Diffring, Charles Gray, Michael Gambon

THE BEAST OF HOLLOW MOUNTAIN
1956
0
Mexican cowboys do battle with a dinosaur.
Plain monster movie with shaky special effects.
Dir: Edward Nassour, Ismael Rodriguez
Stars: Guy Madison, Patricia Medina, Carlos Rivas

THE BEAST OF YUCCA FLATS

1961

0

A defecting scientist turns into a monster and roams the desert after being hit by a nuclear explosion.

This is one of the worst films ever for reasons that many have repeated down the years: the entirely dubbed-on soundtrack, the spaced-out narration, the bizarre non-plot, the many nutty occurrences. What's most surprising to this viewer on finally catching it, is that the very first frames feature a woman's bare breasts (cut out of some prints). A monument of badness.

Dir: Coleman Francis

Stars: Tor Johnson, Douglas Mellor, Barbara Francis

THE BEAST WITH A MILLION EYES
1955
0
An alien force turns animals against humans on a remote ranch.
The poster for this cheap sci-fi flick cashes cheques it can't cash in a million years: what we get is a slow, dull flick in which the main action scenes – inter-cut scenes of aggressive beasts and scared people – look completely unconvincing. Add in a risible sentimental climax and way too many scenes in the kitchen and you’ve got one bad movie.
Dir: David Kramarsky
Stars: Paul Birch, Lorna Thayer, Dona Cole, Dick Sargent

THE BEAST WITH FIVE FINGERS
1946
*
The severed hand of a dead pianist appears to haunt his house.
During a lean period for great horror films, this was welcomed for its excellent performance from Lorre and clever special effects, if not for its slightly silly wrap-up.
Dir: Robert Florey
Stars: Peter Lorre, Robert Alda, J Carrol Naish

THE BEAST WITHIN
1982
0
A woman is raped and her son grows up to be a monster.
Grim and sullen horror which only gets lively towards the end when the boy's head blows up into the shape of a mouldy balloon thanks to fun pre-CGI special effects; but writer Tom Holland was right when he said the final film lacks logic and narrative drive.
Dir: Philippe Mora
Stars: Ronny Cox, Bibi Besch, Paul Clemens, Don Gordon

BEASTIE BOYS STORY
2020
**
Documentary about rock/rap group the Beastie Boys, taking the form of a live theatre presentation of archive clips curated by surviving members Mike Diamond and Adam Horovitz.
A group worthy of some filmic attention, but the question may be asked as to whether this was the best format to exhibit their story; at least it's fairly original, one might concede. The pair, while rarely threatening to become especially likeable, discuss their early days in particular detail, while the group's last decade goes by in a flash, culminating in the sad death of Adam Yauch. More music still (and those great videos!) would have been welcome, but most fans will enjoy this portrait of a group who had a lot more to them than was originally assumed.
Dir: Spike Jonze

THE BEASTS ARE ON THE STREETS
1978 (TV)
0
Wild animals escape from a safari park.
Routine thriller with a surfeit of screaming and panic.
Dir: Peter R Hunt
Stars: Carol Lynley, Dale Robinette, Bill Thurman

BEASTS OF THE SOUTHERN WILD
2012
0
A little girl learns about life thanks to her dying father and the melting ice caps.
Boring and pretentious twaddle, shot in deliberately shaky fashion, that was PC enough to get awards attention. Is it really the case that a film about stupid people can be seen to be so intelligent?
Dir: Benh Zeitlin
Stars: Quvenhane Wallis, Dwight Henry, Levy Easterly

THE BEASTMASTER
1982
0
A young warrior learns he has the power to control animals.
Juvenile fantasy that outstays its moderate welcome but provides a memorable scene or two, mostly in the shape of the lovely Tanya Roberts.
Dir: Don Coscarelli
Stars: Marc Singer, Tanya Roberts, Rip Torn

BEAT GIRL
1960
0
Dad’s new wife used to be a stripper and daughter finds out.
Dopey melodrama mining the brief fashion of beatnik Britain, of a little worth to scholars of the period and exploitation fans; the cast is of interest and there are some surprisingly saucy interludes but the story is pretty silly.
Dir: Edmond T Greville
Stars: Gillian Hills, David Farrar, Noelle Adam, Adam Faith, Christopher Lee, Oliver Reed, Shirley Anne Field, Nigel Green

BEATLEMANIA
1981
*
Four lookalikes perform as the Beatles in concert.
A film of a successful Broadway show whose format was a novelty at the time – bands like the Bootleg Beatles then took the idea and made successful careers of it. The songs reign supreme, as usual, although, again, as usual, we wish they were the originals, and the presentation could be accused of being strange and pretentious, as captions detailing Sixties incidents randomly flash up, and footage of angry civil rights protests is abundant. The band isn’t given a chance to show any personality, and it doesn’t really work as a movie, but it’s painless enough and another chance to hear the songs that made the world a warmer place.
Dir: Joseph Manduke
Stars: David Leon, Mitch Weissman, Tom Teeley, Ralph Castelli

THE BEATLES AND INDIA

2021

**

Documentary about the Beatles' relationship with India, from George Harrison being musically influenced from 1965, to the group's long stay in the country in 1968.

There are so very many dimensions and parts to the Beatles story and here is another one, an affectionately curated film that benefits from a fair amount of footage that won't be familiar to most fans, even though, as ever on these low budget documentaries, there is no actual Beatles music because the producers couldn't afford it. More Beatles detail would also have been welcome, and more from expert Mark Lewisohn. While being nowhere near as revelatory and profound as this year's incredible Peter Jackson Get Back project, it is a pleasant diversion with plenty of local colour; some entrepreneur really should renovate where the Fab Four and their partners stayed and begin selling expensive package holidays there.

Dir: Ajoy Bose, Peter Compton

THE BEATLES: EIGHT DAYS A WEEK - THE TOURING YEARS
2016
**
Documentary about the Beatles' four years on the road as global superstars.
While this film doesn't offer fans too many revelations it invigorates the subject matter thanks to some less familiar footage along with new interviews with McCartney (particularly good) and Starr - other talking heads like Eddie Izzard are a waste of space. What it manages to get across is the societal tsunami of Beatlemania and the astonishing talent and energy of the band (Lennon seems especially sharp and witty), while reinforcing the Beatles' cultural importance and general goodliness. Some of it sends a shiver down the spine or moistens the eyes. Cinema viewers staying after the end were treated to a half-hour film of the group at Shea Stadium in 1965, which really does bring home what a privilege it was to share the planet with Earth's greatest ever pop group - and their performances are superb despite the wall of constant screaming against them.
Dir: Ron Howard

BEATLES '64

2024

*

Documentary about The Beatles' 1964 trip to the US and their lasting influence on music.

The Fab Four films just keep on coming. This is an adequate if slightly disappointing doc that utilises [restored] footage taken by the Maysles brothers, but not enough of it - instead there are a plethora of talking heads, including a few bizarrely chosen ones like Sananda Maitreya (Terence Trent D'Arby), who was born in 1962, and Leonard Bernstein in a clip from 1966 (David Lynch, though, makes good points). The scenes showing the group performing their songs are probably the highlights - something usually missing from unofficial Beatles documentaries - while there's some cute candid footage; overall, though, it's a bit of an unfocussed hodge podge, and a missed opportunity.

Dir: David Tedeschi

BEATLES STORIES

2011

**

Documentary featuring scores of interviews with people, both famous and ordinary, about the time they had an encounter with one of the Beatles. Celebrity interviewees include Art Garfunkel, Susanna Hoffs, Jon Voight, Brian Wilson, Victor Spinetti, Justin Hayward, Ben Kingsley and Henry Winkler.

Low-fi, enthusiastic, quite endearing collection of always fond remembrances, giving brief time to each person, which is wise; the memories of meeting the four when they were still a group seem the most pertinent, but there are some great anecdotes from post-Beatles years too, including the story of John and Ronald Reagan - in fact, what elevates the film is that a lot of these stories aren't ones Beatles fans have heard a hundred times before. There are just a few snippets of actual Beatles music but plenty of little-seen photographs (which may or may not be taken at the time of the related incident). How many more movies about this amazing band will there be?

Dir: Seth Swirsky

BEAU HUNKS
1931
*
Ollie joins the Foreign Legion to forget a girl; Stan comes along too.
The pair never repeated the four-reel length (40m) of this feature, wisely enough as it's clearly unsuitable here - the highlights would have made for a sprightly two-reeler.
Dir: James W Horne
Stars: Stan Laurel, Oliver Hardy, Charles Middleton

BEAUTIFUL AND WILD ON IBIZA
1980
0
Young lovers encounter all sorts of problems when they go on holiday to Ibiza.
Numbing comic drama which, surprisingly for the time, also includes homosexuality and a transsexual (in an eye-popping hotel scene), amidst the hedonistic young heterosexuals doing their thing. All that can be said for it is that it captures Ibiza's holiday vibe - otherwise it's drivel.
Dir: Siggi Gotz
Stars: Regis Porte, Tanja Spiess, Michael Gspandl

A BEAUTIFUL MIND
2001
***
A brilliant mathematician finds his life falling apart after he accepts a code-breaking job with the government.
Cleverly structured portrait of a genius who happened to be schizophrenic; the revelation half way through may be a big surprise but the eventual ethos of the film is to be an old-fashioned, feel-good tale of triumphing against adverse odds.
Dir: Ron Howard
Stars: Russell Crowe, Ed Harris, Jennifer Connelly, Christopher Plummer, Paul Bettany

BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE
1974
***
Documentary about animals in the wild.
Superb wildlife film-making; meticulously shot and accompanied by clever sound effects, it's fascinating for every second it's on the screen.
Dir: Jamie Uys
Narrator: Paddy O'Byrne

BEAUTY AND THE BEAST
1946
**
A prince is rescued by the love of a beautiful girl.
Visually exquisite fairy tale with the feel of an elegiac poem.
Dir: Jean Cocteau
Stars: Jean Marais, Josette Day

BEAUTY AND THE BEAST
1991
**
A young maiden is imprisoned in a castle by a prince who has been turned into a beast.
Immensely successful Disney feature which shows that they can make 'em like they used to.
Dir: Gary Trousdale, Kirk Wise
Voices: Paige O’Hara, Robby Benson, Angela Lansbury

BECKET
1964
**
Henry II regrets his decision to appoint Thomas Becket Archbishop of Canterbury.
Solid historical drama with much to enjoy in the performances, especially the leads playing off each other; but a great cinema director might have improved it by a little cutting down of the long dialogue scenes and more location shooting. Nevertheless, it's a cerebral trip back to the Middle Ages.
Dir: Peter Glenville
Stars: Richard Burton, Peter O'Toole, John Gielguid, Donald Wolfit

BECOMING HITCHCOCK: THE LEGACY OF BLACKMAIL

2024

**

Documentary about Alfred Hitchcock's first sound picture, Blackmail, and how it foreshadowed several of his later films.

A good movie for cinephiles: a lot is packed into its not-too-long running time and it goes through the details at a decent clip - you have to take your hat off to the editors and the effort that must have gone into assembling such a mass of material in one place. The narration is fine, and it's a pleasant change not to suffer talking heads giving their 'wisdom'; it's also a pleasure to see so many clips from Hitchcock's great films, which gives you an appetite to watch them yet again.

Dir: Laurent Bouzereau

Narrator: Elvis Mitchell

THE BED SITTING ROOM
1969
0
Various strange characters wander around after a nuclear war.
Appallingly indulgent black comedy, numbingly tiresome after five minutes, the product of a director gone too far.
Dir: Richard Lester
Stars: Rita Tushingham, Ralph Richardson, Peter Cook, Harry Secombe, Dudley Moore, Spike Milligan, Michael Hordern, Roy Kinnear, Jimmy Edwards, Arthur Lowe, Dandy Nichols

BEDAZZLED
1967
*
An unhappy cook sells his soul to the devil for seven wishes.
Uncertain comedy which has some chuckles but is shot in a weird, psychedelic and almost amateurish manner.
Dir: Stanley Donen
Stars: Peter Cook, Dudley Moore, Eleanor Bron, Raquel Welch

THE BEDFORD INCIDENT
1965
**
An American ship plays cat and mouse with a Russian submarine.
Tense, well acted thriller playing on the fears of the nuclear age.
Dir: James B Harris
Stars: Richard Widmark, Sidney Poitier, James MacArthur, Martin Balsam

BEDKNOBS AND BROOMSTICKS
1971
*
In 1940, three evacuee children have adventures with a kindly witch.
Wandering but agreeable fantasy along Mary Poppins lines.
Dir: Robert Stevenson
Stars: Angela Lansbury, David Tomlinson, Roddy McDowall, Bruce Forsyth

BEDLAM
1946
**
A sane woman is placed in an asylum run by a despot.
Methodical, literate horror that was originally refused a certificate in Britain.
Dir: Mark Robson
Stars: Boris Karloff, Anna Lee, Billy House

BEDROOM EYES
1984
0
A man constantly spies on a woman undressing but one night finds her dead.
There are a few nice comic touches but the plot goes rather wayward and the hysterical climax is hard to take seriously.
Dir: William Fruet
Stars: Kip Gilman, Barbara Law

BEDROOM EYES 2
1989
0
A man has an affair to get at his wife, but when his lover is murdered he is the main suspect.
A lesson in how not to make a thriller; very shabbily constructed indeed.
Dir: Chuck Vincent
Stars: Wings Hauser, Linda Blair, Veronica Hart

THE BEDROOM WINDOW

1987

**

When a woman witnesses an assault, her illicit lover has to testify for her, but he becomes too deeply involved in the case.

Very much a Hitchcock homage, and a watchable effort with twists that vary from clever to far-fetched, generally getting more far-fetched as it goes (the contact lens twist is iffy - why not say you put your glasses on? - the ballet shenanigans taller still - can anyone wander into those shows?!). Okay, so the master would have made this a multi-layered classic, but in this form it's still an enjoyable, sexy, clever thriller with sympathetic leads.

Dir: Curtis Hanson

Stars: Steve Guttenberg, Elizabeth McGovern, Isabelle Huppert, Paul Shenar

BEDTIME WITH ROSIE
1975
0
A pregnant girl is forced to spend the night with her aunt's lodger.
Dismal rubbish: it largely consists of two irritating people on a small set talking about uninteresting things that concern the stupid plot, occasionally interrupted by brief fantasy sequences. The onscreen title is just Rosie - presumably the other bit was added to entice poor, unsuspecting punters.
Dir: Wolf Rilla
Stars: Una Stubbs, Ivor Burgoyne, Diana Dors

BEE MOVIE

2007

*

A bee journeys out of the hive into the real world and starts mixing with humans.

Jerry Seinfeld is one of the great comedians of our time, not least in his Nineties sitcom, but this animated feature doesn't really come off. The story is a succession of things that are just odd, from a bee interacting with people, to having a platonic relationship (let's hope it was just platonic) with one of them, to some sort of message about the importance of honey (a message of togetherness?). It's not a goer despite some smart dialogue and proficient animation. Warburton's voice gets a bit annoying, not Jerry's.

Dir: Simon J Smith, Steve Hickner

Voices: Jerry Seinfeld, Renee Zellweger, Matthew Broderick, Patrick Warburton

BEETLEJUICE
1988
**
Spirits try to scare off buyers of a house in New England.
Wildly imaginative fantasy with well-drawn characters, both alive and dead.
Dir: Tim Burton
Stars: Michael Keaton, Alec Baldwin, Geena Davis, Winona Ryder

BEFORE I GO TO SLEEP

2014

*

A woman wakes up every morning with no memory of the day before, or who her husband is.

Thriller which stretches credibility from the start and goes on to stretch it more and more - until it snaps. The presence of Kidman and Firth bolsters it considerably, giving it a respectability it probably doesn't deserve; still, it's something you generally need to keep watching.

Dir: Rowan Joffe

Stars: Nikole Kidman, Colin Firth, Mark Strong

BEFORE I HANG
1940
*
A scientist invents a serum which makes him younger but also a killer.
Typical Karloff mad doctor flick, fairly well played and tightly handled.
Dir: Nick Grinde
Stars: Boris Karloff, Evelyn Keyes, Bruce Bennett

BEFORE SUNRISE
1995
**
Two people who meet on a train spend the day and night in Venice together.
Pleasant romantic drama done in a naturalistic style that by the end makes the viewer feel like it was they who had the magical night out – but real life remains preferable.
Dir: Richard Linklater
Stars: Ethan Hawke, Julie Delphy

BEFORE SUNSET
2004
*
A man and a woman who had a one-night stand nine years previously spend a day together in Paris.
For this talk-fest to have worked it would have required more sympathetic and deeper characters; instead it feels exhausting and like a minor part of another movie.
Dir: Richard Linklater
Stars: Ethan Hawke, Julie Delphy

BEFORE THE DEVIL KNOWS YOU’RE DEAD
2007
***
Two hard-up brothers plan to rob their parents’ jewellery store but it goes horribly wrong.
Tough, well acted morality play that flashes backwards and forwards to embolden the narrative, which is sometimes in danger of coming to a grinding halt thanks to some very slow scenes. It convincingly presents lives spiralling hopelessly out of control and the dissolution of a family.
Dir: Sidney Lumet
Stars: Philip Seymour Hoffman, Ethan Hawke, Marisa Tomei, Albert Finney, Rosemary Harris

BEGONE DULL CARE
1949
*
Three jazz pieces are set to abstract animation.
Distinctive short which at its best perfectly marries music and imagery - so much labour must have gone into it. The most remarkable thing about it, though, is that Halliwell's Film Guide awarded it four stars (and has its year down as 1953).
Dir: Evelyn Lambart, Norman McLaren

THE BEGUILED
1971
*
A deserter is taken in by a girls' school and tensions arise.
Unusual Western with a downbeat ending. In fact, pretty much a downbeat everything.
Dir: Don Siegel
Stars: Clint Eastwood, Geraldine Page, Elizabeth Hartman

BEHIND CONVENT WALLS
1977
0
Nuns experience the trauma of stigmata and sexual frustration.
Loopy exploiter that struggles to hold the attention more than might have been expected, given the subject matter.
Dir: Walerian Borowczyk
Stars: Ligia Branice, Howard Ross

BEHIND THE CANDELABRA
2013
***
The story of the relationship between flamboyant pianist Liberace and his young lover Scott Thorson.
In some ways a fairly straightforward biographic tale, but one lifted out of the ordinary by the personality involved - Wladziu Valentino Liberace, who is splendidly portrayed by Douglas. The focus is very much on him and co-star Damon, who's in almost every scene, which allows for assured focus and lets the actors do their thing; it's easily enjoyable stuff, and Lowe has a great turn as a very plastic surgeon. Even those who don't like the story can enjoy the costumes and furnishings.
Dir: Steven Soderbergh
Stars: Michael Douglas, Matt Damon, Rob Lowe, Dan Aykroyd, Debbie Reynolds, Scott Bakula

BEHIND THE CURVE
2018
**
Documentary about people who believe that the Earth is flat.
Sad, in a way, that this sort of film can still be made in 2018, but we soon learn why: these are people who - not unlike the rest of us - seek refuge from reality in the comfort of like-minded people, and enjoy a feeling of 'rebellion'. Watching it helps you understand why religions or extreme political movements flourish, or how ideologues can claim 'victimisation', and in that way these idiots are doing us a service. The makers mostly give them enough rope to hang themselves, and there are contributions from the proper scientific community (including a psychologist), but it'd have been nice to have just a very brief outlining of the simple evidence that proves the Earth is round - the director obviously thought it wasn't worth it. A compelling watch of the sort Netflix does well.
Dir: Daniel J Clark

BEHIND THE MASK
1932
0
An undercover officer aims to infiltrate a drug-smuggling ring.
Talky, quite densely plotted crime thriller often sold as a horror because of Karloff and Frankenstein; indeed, the final horror-like sequence is among its best. It's not too bad if you keep up with it - and look out for the answerphone!
Dir: John Francis Dillon
Stars: Jack Holt, Constance Cummings, Boris Karloff, Edward van Sloan

BEING EVEL
2015
***
Documentary about Evel Knievel, the showman who performed many death-defying stunts on a motorbike.
Compelling portrait of one of the key icons of Seventies pop culture: it hears from many who were there, features great footage of Evel's exploits and also shows the darker side of his character, along with his fall from grace and inevitable physical decline. We're left with the sense of a life, rather than just an existence - and the feeling that people like Knievel make this a much less grey world.
Dir: Daniel Junge

BEING FRANK: THE CHRIS SIEVEY STORY
2019
***
Documentary about Chris Sievey, a Mancunian singer and comedian who found fame under a papier-mache head as Frank Sidebottom.
A fascinating, Kickstarter-funded film about a talented maverick who was a true, freewheeling creative but who had a darker side too - as many creatives do. At turns incredibly funny and very sad, it's a document of a human being who gave a lot to the world and got more recognition back than he realised, a tormented soul whose day-to-day existence took second place to entertaining others. The archive footage feels intimate and revelatory, though we never get a true sense of Sievey's motivations - there's nothing like how and why he created the character of Frank. Perhaps that's fitting.
Dir: Steve Sullivan

BEING JOHN MALKOVICH
1999
***
A struggling puppeteer’s luck changes when he finds a portal into the actor John Malkovich’s head.
One of the most original pictures to come out of Hollywood for many years, this indescribably absurd movie manages to keep the quirky ideas coming for almost its entire length without seeming too tricksy or arch; it also succeeds in convincingly presenting every single aspect as just slightly off kilter.
Dir: Spike Jonze
Stars: John Cusack, Cameron Diaz, Catherine Keener, John Malkovich, Charlie Sheen

BEING JULIA
2004
*
In 1938, a successful stage actress has an affair with a young American.
For those who have read the book (Somerset Maugham’s Theatre) this is a disappointment, as the characters, including the lead, do not seem fully rounded or emotionally convincing and key incidents are either altered or missed out altogether. Some of the actors are a little irritating too, including Bening, who spends half the time giggling.
Dir: Istvan Szabo
Stars: Annette Bening, Jeremy Irons, Michael Gambon, Miriam Margoyles, Juliet Stevenson, Shaun Evans, Bruce Greenwood, Lucy Punch

BEING THERE
1979
**
A simple gardener with homespun wisdom accidentally becomes a national celebrity.
Low key parable with variable success at hitting satirical targets, it nevertheless gave the star one of his finest roles - and it's his extraordinary yet seemingly effortless performance that makes this special.
Dir: Hal Ashby
Stars: Peter Sellers, Shirley MacLaine, Melvyn Douglas, Jack Warden, Richard Basehart

BELA LUGOSI MEETS A BROOKLYN GORILLA
1952
0
Two entertainers meet a mad scientist on a tropical island.
The terribleness of this feature has been chronicled many, many times and it hardly needs repeating here, and beware of revisionist reviews.
Dir: William Beaudine
Stars: Duke Mitchell, Sammy Petrillo, Bela Lugosi, Charlita

BELFAST

2021

**

A family faces the difficulties of life in late 1960s Northern Ireland.

The supremely talented Branagh makes a film ostensibly about his early life, a collision of warm family life and cold sectarian violence. Shot in black and white, except for the splashes of colour of the movies that the boy escapes into, it's thankfully much more accessible than Terence Davies' remembrances of his working class childhood, and it managed to bask in both critical and commercial success. The script has wit, the performances are mainly strong and the cinematography memorable.

Dir: Kenneth Branagh

Stars: Jude Hill, Caitriona Balfe, Jamie Dornan, Lewis McAskie, Judi Dench, Ciaran Hinds

THE BELIEVERS

1987

0

A doctor discovers that his son is to be sacrificed by diabolists.

Everyone in this feverish horror is either angry or unwell or in trouble or worried, and it makes for an unhappy viewing experience; its ethnic, religious angle, its strangeness and its unpleasantness only alienate audiences further, while all the soapy sentimentalism seems out of place. Not a movie to feel affection for.

Dir: John Schlesinger

Stars: Martin Sheen, Helen Shaver, Harley Cross, Robert Loggia

BELL, BOOK AND CANDLE
1958
0
A publisher twigs that his new girlfriend is a witch.
Flat and mainly laugh-free comedy which wastes a good cast.
Dir: Richard Quine
Stars: James Stewart, Kim Novak, Jack Lemmon, Hermione Gingold, Elsa Lanchester

THE BELL OF HELL
1973
*
A disturbed young man returns to his home village after a stay in an asylum.
Warped horror not without its admirers.
Dir: Claudio Guerin
Stars: Renaud Verley, Viveca Lindfors, Alfredo Mayo

BELLE DE JOUR
1967
**
The bored wife of a surgeon takes an afternoon job in a brothel.
Bunuel’s beautifully shot erotic drama about masochism has been a little worn down by the promiscuous vicissitudes of time but retains merit thanks to the care taken in its construction and the surrealist touches. Deneuve is both gorgeous and deeply boring as she tip-toes into the world of prostitution before falling for a truly revolting character with zero virtues.
Dir: Luis Bunuel
Stars: Catherine Deneuve, Jean Sorel, Michel Piccolo, Genevieve Page

LA BELLE NOISEUSE
1991
*
An elderly artist attempts to re-start a project he abandoned ten years before.
Pontificating French character study, the sort of thing they love to do. Certainly much of the 'scenery' is very pleasant to look at.
Dir: Jacques Rivette
Stars: Emmanuelle Beart, Michel Piccoli, Jane Birkin

THE BELLES OF ST TRINIAN’S
1954
*
Naughty schoolgirls and corrupt teachers spend more time gambling than working.
A big success in its day, spawning several sequels, but now hardly the laugh riot it presumably once was - and the girls seem like angels.
Dir: Frank Launder
Stars: Alastair Sim, Joyce Grenfell, George Cole, Beryl Reid, Irene Handl, Joan Sims
Sequels, all qv: Blue Murder At St Trinian's, The Pure Hell Of St Trinian's, The Great St Trinian's Train Robbery, The Wildcats Of St Trinian's

THE BELLS OF ST MARY'S
1945
0
A priest and a nun raise money for their school.
As shameless an advert for the Catholic Church as you could get, this is a near-plotless collection of anodyne incidents, made with a sort of insidious professionalism and schmaltz. Not so much dated as utterly irrelevant to the average modern-day viewer.
Dir: Leo McCarey
Stars: Bing Crosby, Ingrid Bergman, Henry Travers

BELOW ZERO
1930
**
Stan and Ollie are musicians trying to make money on a snowy winter's day.
Deftly performed and pleasingly paced short from one of their best and most productive periods - this was one of ten pictures they made in 1930. It’s another beauty to watch around the festive period.
Dir: James Parrott
Stars: Stan Laurel, Oliver Hardy, Charlie Hall, Tiny Sandford

NB Remade in a Spanish-language edition, Tiembla Y Titubea, which is longer than the original, as their foreign language shorts usually were.

BEN

1972

0

A boy befriends Ben, the leader of a pack of killer rats.

Dumb sequel to Willard (qv), much inferior in every respect: most of it is mushy and drippy, while the climactic action scenes do not thrill. The Golden Globe-winning theme song isn't any good either.

Dir: Phil Karlson

Stars: Lee Montgomery, Joseph Campanella, Arthur O'Connell

BEN-HUR
1959
**
During the time of Christ, a Jew battles the power of the Roman Empire.
This famous remake of a 1925 silent spectacular is massive in every sense of the word, and all too aware of its blockbuster status. Dazzling spectacle punctuates the long, heavy patches.
Dir: William Wyler
Stars: Charlton Heston, Jack Hawkins, Stephen Boyd, Hugh Griffith

BENEATH THE PLANET OF THE APES

1970

*

An astronaut discovers a strange race of humans underneath future Earth's surface.

A much inferior sequel to Planet Of The Apes - it just doesn't have the classic 'sheen' that the previous film had, with a weaker storyline, less wit, less wisdom and not all that many ape scenes. Surprisingly hard sci-fi, you'd think it would have lacked general appeal, but there was still tons of Apes product to come over the decades.

Dir: Ted Post

Stars: James Franciscus, Kim Hunter, Maurice Evans, Linda Harrison, Charlton Heston

BENEATH THE VALLEY OF THE ULTRA-VIXENS
1979
0
A woman is sex-crazy but her husband isn't interested; she looks elsewhere.
Obnoxious and repellent rubbish, badly directed, only likely to alienate and disgust.
Dir: Russ Meyer
Stars: Kitten Natividad, Uschi Digard, Ann Marie

BENEDETTA

2021

*

A 17th century Italian nun has disturbing and erotic visions.

Who more suited to nunsploitation than Verhoeven? His film does not feel a million miles away from genre entries in the Seventies - its mix of grim and naughty and religious is on a similar level. Which is slightly disappointing in a way, because one expected more points of difference, or a bit more accessibility from the director of several [quirky] Hollywood epics; but it has cheek and it's fully committed and technically good. 

Dir: Paul Verhoeven

Stars: Virginie Efira, Charlotte Rampling, Daphne Patakia

BERBERIAN SOUND STUDIO
2012
*
An English sound engineer finds his life being taken over by the Italian horror film he is working on.
Interesting attempt to do something a bit different and focus on the soundscape of a film while gently playing homage to giallo thrillers of the Seventies. In the end though, it's just a little too understated for the most part, and the final section of it is as likely to bewilder as to impress: consequently it split viewers and critics into two distinct camps.
Dir: Peter Strickland
Stars: Toby Jones, Cosimo Fusco, Antonio Mancino, Tonia Sotiropoulou

BERSERK

1967

*

A series of gruesome murders occur at a travelling circus.

Gloriously daft horror, essentially a mediocre mystery with amusingly gruesome killings and circus stuff, a lot of circus stuff - which is actually quite engrossing to watch, especially the animal acts, which were later banned. Much of it is true Stilton, including the revelation of who the killer is, and what happens to them immediately after the reveal (it's hysterical), but this colourful, rum old movie has some committed performances - Crawford's for one - and some amateurish ones - many of the circus crew - that add to indulgent enjoyment. Cracking title sequence!

Dir: Jim O'Connolly

Stars: Joan Crawford, Ty Hardin, Diana Dors, Michael Gough, Judy Geeson, Robert Hardy, Geoffrey Keen

BERTH MARKS
1929
0
Stan and Ollie have difficulty trying to get to bed on a train.
One of their very weakest sound shorts, this just has a handful of funny moments, notably the incoherent conductor and the call for the boys’ station the second they’ve finally got their sleeping arrangements sorted. Decent dialogue is at a premium and settings are very restricted.
Dir: Lewis R Foster
Stars: Stan Laurel, Oliver Hardy, Charlie Hall

NB Noche De Duendes was the Spanish-language remake, which also incorporated The Laurel-Hardy Murder Case (qv) - given the limitations of both shorts, it's not among their best foreign films.

BEST
2000
0
The life of maverick Northern Ireland and Manchester United footballer, George Best.
Limp, ponderous biopic which could have been an exciting project in the right hands. They also should have waited till Best died to be able to perform an unbridled version of his life.
Dir: Mary McGuckian
Stars: John Lynch, Ian Bannen, Ian Hart, Patsy Kensit, Roger Daltrey, Stephen Fry

THE BEST HOUSE IN LONDON
1968
0
In Victorian London, a state-sponsored brothel is opened.
Rather stolid period comedy which seems very mild now.
Dir: Philip Saville
Stars: David Hemmings, Joanna Pettet, George Sanders, Warren Mitchell, William Rushton, Bill Fraser, Maurice Denham

BEST IN SHOW
2000
*
Eccentric dog owners converge at a prestigious canine competition.
Moderately amusing character-led comedy which might say a lot to people involved in this sort of thing.
Dir: Christopher Guest
Stars: Christopher Guest, Michael McKean, Parker Posey, Eugene Levy, Bob Balaban

THE BEST OF BENNY HILL
1974
**
Compilation of Benny's TV sketches (complete with laugh track).
Probably the best thing to show anyone who doesn't know his work, this captures the comedian near the peak of his powers and features many of his quintessential routines. Highlights include Tupper Time, the French film director, Fred Scuttle, and the very short sketches that spoof some form of incompetence - Hill was a genial man and a true laughter-maker, and we should be thankful that this film is still shown on television frequently, unlike his TV programmes.
Dir: John Robins
Stars: Benny Hill, Henry McGee, Bob Todd, Jack Wright, Nicholas Parsons, Patricia Hayes

THE BEST OF LAUREL AND HARDY
1969 (TV)
**
Compilation of moments from the pair's comedies, including County Hospital, Below Zero, Our Wife, Pardon Us and Our Relations.
Not the most sagaciously assembled compilation of their material, but highly watchable, naturally.
Dir: James L Wolcott
Stars: Stan Laurel, Oliver Hardy

THE BEST OF MARTIAL ARTS
1989
**
A compilation of numerous film clips, featuring Bruce Lee, Jackie Chan and modern American features.
An appetite-whetting item with martial arts displays to take the breath away.
Dir: Sandra Weintraub
Narrator: John Saxon. Stars: Bruce Lee, Jackie Chan, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar

THE BEST OF SEX AND VIOLENCE
1981
0
John Carradine presents 28 trailers of mainly trashy movies.
Hasn’t Quentin Tarantino bigged this up yet? A rare but not-worth-seeking-out film with a mix of sexy, horrific and blaxploitation trailers, many of which are as badly edited as the movies themselves, only to be sought out by nuts, or Tarantino. Probably not something to watch completely sober.
Dir: Ken Dixon

THE BEST OF THE ADVENTURES
1981 (V)
0
Compilation of the 'best' bits from the three Adventures films (Taxi Driver, Private Eye, Plumber's Mate).
As if this film collecting clips from three abysmal films (all qv, sadly) was going to be anything other than egregious: a windswept Noble, in front of the House of Commons, presents the disparate and uninteresting excerpts while the viewer who hasn't seen them originally begs for mercy. They're not in any sort of context but even if they were they'd still be desperately unfunny and a waste of everybody's time.
Dir: Stanley Long
Host: Peter Noble

THE BEST PAIR OF LEGS IN THE BUSINESS

1973

*

A jaded entertainer works at a holiday camp while his fortunes continue to decline.

A curious choice of star vehicle for Varney, who acquits himself well, and it's a film not without quality, a mostly downbeat tale which captures the feel of early Seventies Britain, with its down-at-heel holiday camps, flat pints of bitter and sexual desperation. Watch a good print to enjoy the gorgeous garishness of the era, fashions, furnishings and all.

Dir: Christopher Hodson

Stars: Reg Varney, Diana Coupland, Lee Montague

BEST WORST MOVIE
2009
**
Documentary about the 1989 film Troll 2, acclaimed by some as one of the worst ever made.
An entertaining feature that in part focuses on the somewhat unbalanced world of sci-fi fandom, while occasionally going to slightly darker places: actress Margo Prey's troubles, bitter director Fragasso, and lead George Hardy realising that conventions can be lonely places. Undoubtedly a much better watch than the movie it's about, it's a pity there isn't a little more footage from it.
Dir: Michael Stephenson

THE BEST YEARS OF OUR LIVES
1946
***
War veterans return home to find their new lives difficult to adjust to.
Classic Hollywood, a brilliantly made film full of human drama, encapsulating all that was good about old-time big studio pictures.
Dir: William Wyler
Stars: Frederic March, Dana Andrews, Harold Russell, Myrna Loy

BETTER MAN

2024

*

The showbiz life of Take That's Robbie Williams, as enacted by a monkey.

Is this an unlikeable film or a dislikeable film? It's tricky to say, but it's probably one or the other, for a number of reasons: the curious use of the CGI simian to represent Williams perhaps distances the audience from him, but in any case he doesn't generate much empathy thanks to his ego and arrogance; the accents don't help, nor the supernova of swearing, nor the general air of self-pity. The movie flopped, which should possibly cause the makers to consider that ordinary people don't like to be told how awful it is to be rich, talented and famous, with a final spoken sentence that sums up the contempt for them. On the bright side, the songs come over well - Williams has some gems in his solo catalogue, while some dance routines dazzle.

Dir: Michael Gracey

Stars: Robbie Williams, Jonno Davies, Steve Pemberton, Alison Steadman

BETTY BLUE
1987
**
A tempestuous waitress has a stormy relationship with an odd job man.
Memorable, sprawling drama with a genuine erotic charge, it successfully aimed for a certain youngish audience, although in Britain the poster probably became more widely seen than the film.
Dir: Jean-Jacques Beineix
Stars: Beatrice Dalle, Jean-Hughes Anglade

BETWEEN TWO WORLDS
1944
0
Travellers discover that they have in fact died and are on the way to heaven.
This fact is revealed regrettably early, and so the film tediously and miserably meanders along for some time after that.
Dir: Edward A Blatt
Stars: John Garfield, Paul Henreid, Sydney Greenstreet

BEVERLY HILLS COP
1984
*
An unconventional policeman tracks down his friends' killers.
Not especially remarkable but extraordinarily lucrative comic thriller; thank its wise-cracking, foul-mouthed star and a distinctive music score.
Dir: Martin Brest
Stars: Eddie Murphy, Judge Reinhold, John Ashton

BEVERLY HILLS COP 2
1988
0
Alex Foley tracks down some violent criminals.
Feeble sequel to an overrated film.
Dir: Tony Scott
Stars: Eddie Murphy, Judge Reinhold, John Ashton, Ronny Cox, Brigitte Nielsen

BEWARE OF MR BAKER
2012
***
Documentary about Ginger Baker, the drummer with groups like Cream, who has led an unconventional and boisterous life.
You probably wouldn't want to meet the man himself: watching this is by the far better idea, especially as it's so well done, a mix of archive and contemporary interviews, the music and some animation. Baker's certainly a character deserving of such a film, a genuine eccentric, and it's refreshing to see such an honest interviewee - it contrasts with many in his industry.
Dir: Jay Bulger

THE BEYOND
1980
*
A girl is dismayed to discover her apartment is a gate to hell.
Incoherent horror with a derivative storyline, a succession of gory set-pieces.
Dir: Lucio Fulci
Stars: Catriona MacColl, David Warbeck, Antoine Saint-John

BEYOND BEDLAM
1993
0
A psychopath has the power to create nightmarish visions for his doctor.
Chaotic hybrid of A Nightmare On Elm Street and The Silence Of The Lambs, in which the violence all gets a bit much.
Dir: Vadim Jean
Stars: Craig Fairbrass, Elizabeth Hurley, Keith Allen, Anita Dobson

BEYOND THE BERMUDA TRIANGLE
1975 (TV)
0
A businessman loses his wife in the mysterious triangle.
Trivial and banal treatment of a fascinating real-life subject.
Dir: William A Graham
Stars: Fred MacMurray, Sam Groom, Donna Mills, Suzanne Reed

BEYOND THE POSEIDON ADVENTURE
1979
0
Looters seek treasure in the capsized liner.
Dull sequel which should have remained submerged.
Dir: Irwin Allen
Stars: Michael Caine, Sally Field, Telly Savalas, Peter Boyle, Karl Malden

BEYOND THE STARS
1989
0
A boy interested in space meets a famous astronaut who gives him a special crystal.
Empty, soggy drama which takes the whole film to introduce the only interesting element.
Dir: David Saperstein
Stars: Martin Sheen, Christian Slater, Sharon Stone, Olivia d’Abo, F Murray Abraham

BEYOND THE TIME BARRIER

1960

0

A pilot from 1960 is flung forward in time to 2024, where they are suffering from the after-effects of a plague...

...so this sci-fi film didn't get it too wrong. It's low budget and knows it but partly gets round this by shooting among furnishings from the 1959 Texas State Fair (lots of triangles); the giveaways remain the wordy script and basic inaction. Still, the story is appealing enough, as is Tompkins. 

Dir: Edgar G Ulmer

Stars: Robert Clarke, Darlene Tompkins, Arianne Ulmer

BEYOND THE VALLEY OF THE DOLLS
1970
0
Three females in a band are corrupted by Hollywood.
This trash might have seemed like a funny lark for a very, very brief period but viewed now it’s intolerable, a soap opera full of characters we couldn’t give a damn about, and deeply irritating to boot. The most amusing thing about it is that it was written by critic Roger Ebert, who has put the boot into much better movies than this one.
Dir: Russ Meyer
Stars: Dolly Read, Cynthia Myers, Erica Gavin

THE BFG
1989
*
A small girl and a friendly giant battle a monster who eats children.
Carefully made but not particularly exciting adaptation of a tale that worked better on the printed page.
Dir: Brian Cosgrove
Voices: David Jason, Ballard Berkeley, Mollie Sugden, Frank Thornton

THE BFG
2016
*
Spielberg's version of Dahl's [uncinematic] book naturally comes with sublime special effects but its lacking-in-urgency, short-on-peril story may not be for many except young children; although smoothly done there's not much to really care about in it.
Dir: Steven Spielberg
Stars: Mark Rylance, Ruby Barnhill, Penelope Wilton, Jemaine Clement

BICYCLE THIEVES
1948
***
An Italian worker searches Rome for his stolen bicycle.
Strikingly shot against scenes of post-war dereliction, this is a moving, lyrical, beautifully performed slice of neo-realism.
Dir: Vittorio de Sica
Stars: Lamberto Maggiorani, Enzo Staiola, Lianella Carell

LES BICYCLETTES DE BELSIZE

1968

0

A man rides round Hampstead on his bike, then meets a girl.

Whimsical, inconsequential short that is more fondly remembered by some than it deserves to be; its main attractions now are the extensive location photography. It has to be said, though, that this was a time and a place that may have seen the pinnacle of civilisation.

Dir: Douglas Hickox

Stars: Anthony May, Judy Huxtable

BIG
1988
**
A boy wishes he was 'big' and awakens the next morning as a 30-year-old man.
Perfectly executed comic fantasy balancing the dreams of childhood with the realities of adult life; a real winner.
Dir: Penny Marshall
Stars: Tom Hanks, Elizabeth Perkins, Robert Loggia, John Heard

THE BIG BANG
1987
0
An unlikely superhero is called upon to save Earth after a nuclear war in 1995.
Smutty, scatological adult cartoon with a nasty imagination - it’s like a dark and dirty Yellow Submarine, but mostly very tiresome. Not for everyone, to put it mildly.
Dir: Picha
Voices: David Lander, Carole Androsky, Jerry Bledsoe

THE BIG BLOCKADE
1942
*
A number of fictional scenarios demonstrating how cutting off Nazi Germany's supplies could help win the war.
A curious enterprise which concentrates on what might not be deemed one of the most exciting aspects of the war; there's a lot of talk and it's all a bit chewy but the technical quality is generally high, some sequences are strong, and it's undoubtedly of great historical interest.
Dir: Charles Frend
Stars: Will Hay, Michael Redgrave, John Mills, Bernard Miles, Michael Rennie

THE BIG BOSS
1971
**
A worker at an ice factory discovers it is being used for drug smuggling.
Ripe vehicle for Bruce Lee which utilises him perfectly, through the long build-up to his first fight, the explosion of violent action and his sheer dominance and power.
Dir: Lo Wei
Stars: Bruce Lee, Maria Yi, James Tien

THE BIG BUS
1976
0
A giant, nuclear-powered bus runs into problems.
Spoof disaster movie that would be massively eclipsed by Airplane a few years later.
Dir: James Frawley
Stars: Joseph Bologna, Stockard Channing, Ned Beatty, Ruth Gordon, Larry Hagman, Lynn Redgrave

BIG BUSINESS
1929
**
Stan and Ollie attempt to sell Christmas trees in mid-July.
Quintessential tit-for-tat comedy that builds into an orgy of destruction, as well done as could be but with a faintly tragic, sad edge.
Dir: James W Horne
Stars: Stan Laurel, Oliver Hardy, James Finlayson, Tiny Sandford

THE BIG CATCH 

1968

0

Boys on the Scottish coast get involved with boats and horses.

Windswept location shooting is about all that's memorable in this average effort from the Children's Films Foundation. It's awfully Scottish.

Dir: Laurence Henson

Stars: Andrew Byatt, James Copeland, Murray Forbes

THE BIG CHILL
1983
*
College friends get together after the death of one of their pals.
The soundtrack, which consists of old hits, can be enjoyed by anyone, and there's no denying the impressive ensemble of acting talent, but the degree to which this talk-piece drama holds the attention depends on sympathy and empathy with the characters - some may find it wanting.
Dir: Lawrence Kasdan
Stars: Tom Berenger, Glenn Close, Jeff Goldblum, William Hurt, Kevin Kline, Mary Kay Place, Meg Tilly, JoBeth Williams

THE BIG CLOCK
1948
**
A crime journalist is framed for murder by his boss, although his boss does not realise who he is framing and the journalist doesn’t realise it is his boss doing the framing.
Impressive thriller: the plot may be a little too unusual to ring true, and it takes a while to crank into gear, but there are some juicy performances (particularly, as ever, Laughton’s), dashes of humour, nice use of minor characters and judicious shadowy photography. Worth rediscovering.
Dir: John Farrow
Stars: Ray Milland, Charles Laughton, Maureen O’Sullivan, George Macready, Rita Johnson, Elsa Lanchester

THE BIG DAY

1960

*

Three men compete for a job at their firm.

Fairly interesting study of contemporary office politics and sexual politics, well acted by a solid cast. Minor, but not irrelevant.

Dir: Peter Graham Scott

Stars: Donald Pleasence, Andree Melly, Colin Gordon, Harry H Corbett, William Franklyn

THE BIG EASY
1987
*
A private detective falls in love with the female DA who is prosecuting him.
Old fashioned film noir, casual but stylish.
Dir: Jim McBride
Stars: Dennis Quaid, Ellen Barkin, Ned Beatty, John Goodman

BIG FISH
2003
*
A dying father recounts to his son one more time the fantastic story of his life.
Forrest Gump-type fantasy that has a warm feeling to it and plenty of imaginatively conceived spectacle, but doesn't quite stir the emotions as much as it should - perhaps because the tale is so clearly routed in fancy.
Dir: Tim Burton
Stars: Ewan McGregor, Albert Finney, Billy Crudup, Jessica Lange, Helena Bonham Carter, Alison Lohman, Steve Buscemi, Danny DeVito

THE BIG HEAT

1953

**

A cop is punished by a violent crime gang after investigating the apparent suicide of a man.

This noir doesn't quite have the disturbing impact it must have had at the time, but it still packs a punch, if only because you think 'blimey, back in 1953 they had a scene in which boiling coffee is thrown in the face' (Altman's The Long Goodbye upped the ante with its similar shocking assault). The contrast between the peaceful family life and the brutal gangsters is stark, and there's a bang when they interact; Ford's policeman motors on relentlessly, no matter what harm may come to him or those he associates with. It's pretty tight, tough stuff and probably Lang's last properly notable film.

Dir: Fritz Lang

Stars: Glenn Ford, Gloria Grahame, Jocelyn Brando, Alexander Scourby, Lee Marvin

THE BIG HOUSE
1930
**
Life in an overcrowded prison.
One of the first, and certainly the most influential, 'prison pictures', this is something of a muffled watch now, but the script (by a woman, Frances Marion) is still clearly above average, quite concise and liberal. It's decent stuff, but on the whole one of Laurel and Hardy's jail pictures is probably now a better watch.
Dir: George Hill
Stars: Chester Morris, Wallace Beery, Lewis Stone, Robert Montgomery

THE BIG JOB
1965
**
After 15 years in prison for a bungled bank robbery, crooks attempt to retrieve the loot they abandoned in a hollow oak tree – but discover it is now in the garden of a police station.
One of the ‘almost-a-Carry On’ films, this canny little comedy gets the best out of its talented cast (and makes one wish Dick Emery had done a lot more of this sort of thing on the big screen), even if the plot, which starts out as silly, eventually becomes too ridiculous for words. Some modern viewers might find its treatment of female characters a little offputting.
Dir: Gerald Thomas
Stars: Sidney James, Sylvia Sims, Dick Emery, Lance Percival, Joan Sims, Jim Dale, Deryck Guyler

THE BIG LEBOWSKI
1998
**
A middle-aged stoner gets caught up in a convoluted kidnap plot.
To fully appreciate this chaotic, eventful comedy it would help to be similar to the characters portrayed in it; the stupid profusion of F-words limits its appeal.
Dir: Joel and Ethan Coen
Stars: Jeff Bridges, John Goodman, Julianne Moore, Steve Buscemi, Peter Stormare

THE BIG NOISE
1943
0
Stan and Ollie are hired to guard a special new bomb.
More attention than usual is paid to an actionful plot, but this pays few dividends as their skill and sympathy had begun to ebb. There are a few half-smiles but their mid-Forties stuff was a galaxy away from their Thirties genius; perhaps those completely new to the pair wouldn't have minded too much, or been aware that some later sequences rejig scenes from one of their weaker shorts, Berth Marks.
Dir: Mal St Clair
Stars: Stan Laurel, Oliver Hardy, Doris Merrick, Jack Norton

THE BIG PARADE

1925

**

Young Americans go off to France to fight in the Great War.

This epic (and overlong) war drama, made just a few short years after the conflict, was a big hit in its day and is still considered a classic of the genre. It perhaps lacks the power of All Quiet On The Western Front though, and for the first hour and a half there is no battle, there is instead much romance between the soldier and the French girl. We eventually get to war, the depiction of which, along with the effect on the platoon, must have shocked audiences. The photography, sets and staging remain impressive.

Dir: King Vidor

Stars: John Gilbert, Renee Adoree, Hobart Bosworth, Karl Dane

THE BIG PARADE OF COMEDY
1964
**
A compilation of scenes from classic MGM comedies from the silent era onwards, including the likes of Pete Smith shorts and Ninotchka.
Haphazardly assembled, with some sequences too long, some too short, and some not even from comedy films at all.
Dir: Robert Youngson
Narrator: Les Tremayne. Stars: Stan Laurel, Oliver Hardy, The Marx Brothers, W C Fields, Greta Garbo

THE BIG RACKET

1976

*

A cop battles thugs who are demanding protection money from business owners.

Crazy, violent fun typical of its time, place and genre, with plenty to enjoy for fans of such things; a scene featuring Testi inside a tumbling car is particularly well done. One English dub hilariously softens the swearing - so 'bastard' becomes 'basket', for instance.

Dir: Enzo G Castellari

Stars: Fabio Testi, Vincent Gardenia, Renzo Palmer

THE BIG RED ONE

1980

*

An American infantry unit moves from battle to battle in Europe in World War Two.

Efficient, episodic, reasonably routine war film pretty well done on a moderate budget, with some good set-pieces - but not vastly better than many other similar movies and a bit distant feeling, empathy wise. As ever with films about armed conflict, you get angry and deeply depressed by the mass waste of lives depicted - young men having their brief existences snuffed out because of the power-crazed dreams of some stupid, vile politician. On a lighter note, in the 1980s British police seized a video of it, believing it was a skin flick.

Dir: Samuel Fuller

Stars: Lee Marvin, Mark Hamill, Robert Carradine, Bobby Di Cicco

THE BIG SHORT
2015
**
Money men spot that the US economy is in big trouble thanks to an unstable housing market, but there seems to be no way to avert the coming disaster.
This film takes on a lot, and quite a bit of it comes off: smartly edited and performed, it manages to make a potentially sticky subject reasonably digestible (although it requires close attention) and will stir anger in many a viewer. But the tone can be inconsistent, and is it really the whole, true story of what happened?
Dir: Adam McKay
Stars: Steve Carell, Ryan Gosling, Christian Bale, Brad Pitt

THE BIG SLEEP
1941
**
Private eye Philip Marlowe is hired to look after a general's wild young daughter.
The plot's complications are unfathomable but the playing, the waspish dialogue and the sheer tightness of narrative make this a great film experience.
Dir: Howard Hawks
Stars: Humphrey Bogart, Lauren Bacall, Martha Vickers

THE BIG SLEEP

1978

0

Philip Marlowe investigates a complicated case of blackmail-turned-murder.

Winner could usually assemble a splendid cast for his under-par movies, and so it is here; while it's not without a degree of intrigue, it's flat compared to something like Altman's The Long Goodbye, with little panache or style to spice up the labyrinthine storyline, never mind a noirish LA atmosphere. The driving bits at the start and end are quite a nice touch.

Dir: Michael Winner

Stars: Robert Mitchum, Sarah Miles, Richard Boone, Candy Clark, Joan Collins, Oliver Reed, James Stewart, Edward Fox, John Mills

THE BIG SWITCH
1968
0
A man is implicated in a murder and then blackmailed.
Extremely weak thriller which looks like the movie of a real beginner (it was). The male lead is insipid, the characters don’t react in anything like realistic ways and the action is often risibly inert – there’s one scene where two cars are struggling to get out of a car park, and we witness every dull second. A 2009 DVD/Blu-ray release (of Man Of Violence, qv) offered two cuts of the film, including the nicely sleazy foreign release.
Dir: Pete Walker
Stars: Sebastian Breaks, Virginia Wetherell, Jack Allen, Derek Aylward

BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA
1986
*
A trucker heads to Chinatown where he gets involved with sorcerers and monsters.
Flashy but empty fantasy which seems unsure which course to take.
Dir: John Carpenter
Stars: Kurt Russell, Kim Cattrall, James Hong

BIG ZAPPER
1973
0
A swish female private eye foils a sadistic pimp.
Bizarre, jaw-dropping mix of sleaze, cartoonish action and unpleasant violence. There's not another film like it but that doesn't make it worth seeing.
Dir: Lindsay Shonteff
Stars: Linda Marlowe, Richard Monette, Penny Irving

THE BIGAMIST

1953

*

A man is married to a woman in Los Angeles and another in San Francisco.

A curious film, a sort of mix of a woman's picture and a crime drama, it may have seemed quite sensational at the time but now is much less surprising; in fact the main surprise is that two beautiful women like Fontaine and Lupino would fall for a pudgy, unremarkable man like O'Brien. The story doesn't develop in especially dynamic fashion, though it's watchable enough and not too long.

Dir: Ida Lupino

Stars: Edmond O'Brien, Joan Fontaine, Ida Lupino, Edmund Gwenn

A BIGGER SPLASH
2015
*
When a female rock star, who has lost her voice, is visited by an ex on the Italian island she is residing on with her lover, trouble ensues.
Making this film may have been a more enjoyable experience than watching it: stretched out and languorous, it improves later on when things actually start to happen, but much of it's as thrilling as looking at other people's holiday snaps. There's a fair bit happening under the surface, and there are flashes of style and verve, but these characters are difficult to empathise with.
Dir: Luca Guadagnino
Stars: Ralph Fiennes, Tilda Swinton, Matthias Schoenaerts, Dakota Johnson

BIGGER THAN LIFE

1956

*

An unwell teacher takes a drug that has serious side effects.

Perhaps this was under-praised at the time, perhaps it's over-praised now, with some critics going over the top in claiming it's a searing indictment of middle-class America at the time. Probably not; maybe it's more of an indictment of drug companies? Whatever, it moderately holds the attention, particularly in the latter stages. Two more points: Mason's American accent comes and goes (which is distracting), and the use of Cinemascope is an unusual choice.

Dir: Nicholas Ray

Stars: James Mason, Barbara Rush, Walter Matthau, Robert F Simon

BIGGLES
1986
*
A modern-day advertising man goes back in time to 1917 and the time of flyer ace, Biggles.
Those looking for a feature based on the books were disappointed, but this is a jolly, undemanding fantasy with nice effects work.
Dir: John Hough
Stars: Neil Dickson, Alex Hyde-White, Peter Cushing

THE BIKINI CARWASH COMPANY

1992

0

A carwash peopled by bikini-clad beauties does good business.

Artless drivel that manages to irritate more than anything else, what with its weird idents between edits (a pretentious explanation is given at the end), the fact that there's a bloke in the company, the dumb flasher, and just the fact that the whole thing is stupid, meaningless and meandering, a mix of pop music video-type scenes and even worse ones.

Dir: Ed Hansen

Stars: Joe Dusic, Kristi Ducati, Rikki Brando

BILITIS

1977

0

A teenage girl stays with her aunt for the summer holiday; both have troublesome experiences with men.

The first of photographer Hamilton's five cinematic excursions into youthful female beauty starts with much promise but goes limp in the second half: plotting wasn't his strong point. What an eye for erotic imagery he had though, when he felt like it, and it's this that gave the movie its popularity and notoriety; there's no way they'd make this now. And if at the time it'd been made with more nous - and featured a more comely lead actress - it might now be a classic of its genre.

Dir: David Hamilton

Stars: Patti D'Arbanville, Mona Kristensen, Bernard Giraudeau

BILL & TED’S BOGUS JOURNEY
1991
*
Evil robot duplicates of Bill and Ted kill them, and the pair have to journey through hell to get back to the land of the living.
More expensive but less spontaneous sequel which nevertheless is satisfyingly silly.
Dir: Peter Hewitt
Stars: Keanu Reeves, Alex Winter, William Sadler, Joss Ackland, Pam Grier

BILL & TED’S EXCELLENT ADVENTURE
1989
**
Two teenagers are given a time machine to collect historical figures to pass their history exam.
Zippy comic fantasy which reaches heights of hilarious madness, most notably in the mall where Joan of Arc takes an exercise class, Abraham Lincoln has his picture taken and Genghis Khan tries on sportswear. It has personality and dialogue all of its own and a lot of the time travel stuff is actually properly clever and innovative. 'Missy... I mean, Mom.'
Dir: Stephen Herek
Stars: Keanu Reeves, Alex Winter, George Carlin

BILLION DOLLAR BRAIN
1967
0
Secret agent Harry Palmer is given charge of some mysterious eggs.
Until his resurrection in 1995, the last Caine/Palmer film; a torpid trip thanks to flashy direction and an impenetrable storyline.
Dir: Ken Russell
Stars: Michael Caine, Karl Malden, Ed Begley

BILLY ELLIOT
2000
*
A young boy from a north east mining village wants to be a ballet dancer despite derision from all and sundry.
Much acclaimed but actually rather ordinary film, like a TV drama but with more swearing. It's amazing what some people call a feel-good film nowadays.
Dir: Stephen Daldry
Stars: Jamie Bell, Julie Walters, Jean Heywood

BILLY LIAR
1963
***
An undertaker's clerk lives in a world of fantasy to escape from his dull existence.
One of the most important British films of the period, a superbly shot, wonderfully acted, sharply scripted comic drama that is almost unbearably moving in its depiction of the uncertain northerner unable to escape his circumstances for a better life in London.
Dir: John Schlesinger
Stars: Tom Courtenay, Julie Christie, Wilfred Pickles, Mona Washbourne, Leonard Rossiter, Ethel Griffies, Finlay Currie, Rodney Bewes

BILLY THE KID AND THE GREEN BAIZE VAMPIRE
1986
0
An elderly snooker champion is challenged by a young whiz kid.
Weird but not wonderful fantasy-comedy-musical, entirely set in dark and stagey surroundings.
Dir: Alan Clarke
Stars: Phil Daniels, Alun Armstrong, Bruce Payne

BIO WOMAN
1981
0
A henpecked husband finds sexy fun through soap powder.
Unreleased cartoon short which rehashes many of Godfrey's previous themes.
Dir: Bob Godfrey
Voice: Irene Handl

BIOHAZARD
1985
0
An accident at a lab creates a monster.
Low budget shocker that knows it is pretty awful.
Dir: Fred Olen Ray
Stars: Angelique Pettyjohn, Aldo Ray

BIONIC SHOWDOWN
1989 (TV)
0
A bionic traitor plans to assassinate a foreign minister.
Padded sci-fi with the usual s-l-o-w bionic scenes.
Dir: Alan J Levi
Stars: Lindsay Wagner, Lee Majors, Richard Anderson, Sandra Bullock

THE BIRD WITH THE CRYSTAL PLUMAGE
1969
*
An American writer in Rome witnesses an attempted murder in an art gallery.
A demi-effective work of a nascent talent: it starts with a striking – if absurd – set piece that the rest of it struggles to live up to, as it’s largely given over to tortuous unwinding of the mystery; but there are some good things, including a sequence where the chased becomes the chaser, culminating in a witty joke. What’s also clever is the way the narrative plays on our gender expectations to spring a surprise or two.
Dir: Dario Argento
Stars: Tony Musante, Suzy Kendall, Enrico Maria Salerno

BIRDMAN OR (THE UNEXPECTED VIRTUE OF IGNORANCE)
2014
**
A former movie actor has various struggles while starring in a Broadway play.
One of the most unusual and original pictures of its time, this technically dazzling film is largely shot in what is made to look like a single take (but it isn't in real time), with the camera roaming around the theatre and occasionally into the New York streets, accompanied by a distinctive percussive soundtrack. It's about 20 minutes too long, and the lengthy, intense dialogue scenes become a little too demanding, but this is bracing, ambitious and driven filmmaking which doesn't stint on humour, self-reverence and winsome flashes of fantasy; it also provides the actors with a golden chance to show what they can do.
Dir: Alejandro G Inarritu
Stars: Michael Keaton, Edward Norton, Emma Stone, Naomi Watts, Zach Galifianakis

THE BIRDS
1963
****
For no particular reason, the bird kingdom begins to attack the inhabitants of a town off the Californian coast.
Even by Hitchcock's standards, a brilliantly original and sublimely conceived piece of cinema which is among his finest achievements and the last in an astonishing sequence of five all-time classics. The design and pacing are impeccable – discourses are followed by ever bigger set-pieces - the performances are pitch-perfect (particularly Hedren and Tandy, and all involved in the cafe scene), most of the special effects are excellent, and its deeper themes give it a solid base of premium quality. Certain scenes stay in the mind like an unpleasant dream does, including the farmer with his eyes pecked out, the attack on the schoolchildren and the climactic ones in the under-siege house. A wonderful movie.
Dir: Alfred Hitchcock
Stars: Tippi Hedren, Rod Taylor, Jessica Tandy, Suzanne Pleshette, Veronica Cartwright

THE BIRTH OF A NATION
1915
****
Families from the North and South are caught up in the American Civil War.
For many, many years this remained the best film ever made, and nearly a century after its release, it’s still a superb spectacle (and much preferable to the director’s Intolerance (qv), released the following year). It’s a meaty, resonating yarn often told with incredible fast cutting and panache that must have astonished patrons of the day. The liberal-left and those they’ve brainwashed may moan about its race politics, but how refreshing to see just one movie that doesn’t subscribe to the creed that would later become known as political correctness.
Dir: D W Griffith
Stars: Henry B Walthall, Mae Marsh, Miriam Cooper, Lillian Gish, Robert Harron

BIRTH OF THE BEATLES
1979 (TV)
*
The Beatles go from Liverpool to Hamburg to the Ed Sullivan Show.
Bargain basement biopic, unconvincing and barely edited, with synthetic versions of Beatles songs... but still not un-enjoyable for aficionados.
Dir: Richard Marquand
Stars: Stephen MacKenna, Rod Culbertson, John Altman, Ray Ashcroft, Nigel Havers

THE BIRTHDAY PARTY
1968
*
At a seaside boarding house, two menacing strangers turn up for one of the guests.
Intense, sometimes heavy-going filming of Harold Pinter's cryptic, infuriating play, from a studio - Amicus - never usually associated with this sort of thing.
Dir: William Friedkin
Stars: Robert Shaw, Patrick Magee, Dandy Nichols

THE BIRTHDAY PRESENT

1957

*

A salesman runs into trouble because he brings back a diamond watch from Germany for his wife.

This film can probably be more appreciated with the distance of time, and with a wider view of things: essentially, it surmises the idiocy of authority and the mindlessness of those who blindly adhere to its diktats (one is continually reminded of the dystopian world of 2020). In itself, a decent, downbeat, watchable drama performed with conviction, a sort of minor, less deep version of Hitchcock's The Wrong Man, released the same year.

Dir: Pat Jackson

Stars: Tony Britton, Sylvia Sims, Jack Watling, Geoffrey Keen

THE BISHOP'S WIFE
1947
*
An angel comes to Earth to help a bishop with his cathedral and parishioners.
Made in the same decade as It's A Wonderful Life and Miracle On 34th Street, this fantasy isn't really in the same class as those films, being a more anodyne picture without the earthy pungency - the performances, particularly Grant and Niven, and a couple of magical scenes, sustain it.
Dir: Henry Koster
Stars: Cary Grant, Loretta Young, David Niven, Monty Woolley

THE BITCH
1979
0
A major female player in London society has an affair with a gangster.
Slightly more involved sequel to The Stud, just as vacuous.
Dir: Gerry O'Hara
Stars: Joan Collins, Ian Hendry, Sue Lloyd

BITTER MOON
1992
*
An American writer and a French dancer enjoy a sadistic, passionate relationship.
Polanski at his most outrageous; perverted pleasures and incredulous incidents abound.
Dir: Roman Polanski
Stars: Hugh Grant, Kristin Scott Thomas, Emmanuelle Seigner, Peter Coyote

THE BITTER TEA OF GENERAL YEN

1932

**

A Christian missionary finds herself falling in love with a Chinese warlord.

Not the sort of film you associate with Capra, this is an unusual, dreamy, sensuous film which turns into a romantic drama in a very foreign seeming place and time; its innovative photography and impressive staging - not to mention its interracial love story - weren't appreciated by audiences of the time but the movie has since gained critical favour. It's amusing that in many ways it's ahead of its time but some fragile modern viewers will still see it as horribly incorrect.

Dir: Frank Capra

Stars: Barbara Stanwyck, Nils Asther, Toshia Mori, Walter Connolly

A BITTERSWEET LIFE
2005
*
A gangster seeks revenge on the ex boss who tried to have him killed.
Korean opera of violence that's often visually striking - the director is less bothered about the actual story.
Dir: Ji-woon Kim
Stars: Jeong-min Hwang, Yu-mi-Jeong, Ku Jin

BIZARRE
1970
*
A mummy relates tales of the battle of the sexes, including ones about a sexy burglar, a mutant baby, a cruel photographer and a young man with a lizard fetish.
While Balch's appropriately titled film is highly original and brightly shot, it's also incomprehensible and sometimes tiresomely repetitive, veering wildly from inspired surrealism to verbose drivel. A crazy mix of comedy, sex, horror and of-its-time philosophising, it’s like something conceived in a dream and quite unlike anything else ever made. The 2010 DVD release, whose extras include a commentary by the producer, may be worth purchasing for fans of odd films.
Dir: Anthony Balch
Stars: Richard Schulman, Elliot Stein, Maria Frost, Sue Bond, Valentine Dyall

BLACK ANGEL

1980

0

A knight tries to rescue a maiden.

Lots saw this short because it was a supporting feature to The Empire Strikes Back, but surely most of them were bored because it's sparse and heavy going. Nice scenery though.

Dir: Roger Christian

Stars: Tony Vogel, James Gibb, John Young

BLACK ANGEL
2002
0
In 1945 Italy, a well-off woman falls for a fascist officer.
Boring and predictable erotic drama which the director shouldn't have bothered with.
Dir: Tinto Brass
Stars: Anna Galiena, Gabriel Garko, Antonio Salines

BLACK BEAUTY
1971
*
A horse has various adventures after being taken away from its young master.
Pleasant, scenic version of Anna Sewell's novel, possibly the best one.
Dir: James Hill
Stars: Mark Lester, Patrick Mower, Maria Rohm

THE BLACK BELLY OF THE TARANTULA
1971
0
Someone murders a succession of beautiful women.
Tedious and vacuous thriller with lots of 'nothing' sequences and a script that says absolutely zilch about the human condition. In other words, yet another giallo that's a thousand times worse than its title.
Dir: Paolo Cavara
Stars: Giancarlo Giannini, Claudine Auger, Barbara Bouchet, Barbara Bach

BLACK BOOK
2006
**
In 1944 Holland, a Jewish singer is almost killed by the Nazis but survives to fall in with a group of Dutch resistance fighters who ask her to sleep with a Gestapo officer to save their friends from execution.
Solid WW2 thriller with plenty of the director's ripe trademarks, his first film in his native country in 23 years.
Dir: Paul Verhoeven
Stars: Carice van Houten, Sebastian Koch, Thom Hoffman

BLACK CANDLES
1981
0
A dead man's sister is drawn into a diabolic sect.
Inept and tedious Rosemary's Baby rip-off with much breathy coupling.
Dir: Joseph Larraz
Stars: Christopher Bright, Jeffrey Healey, Lucille Jameson

THE BLACK CASTLE
1952
0
A man investigates the disappearance of two of his friends who were guests of a curious count.
Unexciting costume drama with dashes of horror - more would have been welcome, and colour perhaps.
Dir: Nathan Juran
Stars: Richard Greene, Stephen McNally, Boris Karloff, Rita Corday, Lon Chaney Jr

THE BLACK CAT
1934
***
A young couple and an old, vengeful doctor are trapped in an ultra modern house by its evil owner.
Stylish, weird, effective horror with little to do with Poe (there's no cat anywhere) but bringing together Karloff and Lugosi for the first time - and sparks fly.
Dir: Edgar G Ulmer
Stars: Boris Karloff, Bela Lugosi, David Manners, Julie Bishop

THE BLACK CAT
1941
0
An old woman’s heirs gather in a spooky house.
Formulaic comedy chiller which doesn’t make the best use of its talented cast.
Dir: Albert S Rogell
Stars: Basil Rathbone, Hugh Herbert, Broderick Crawford, Bela Lugosi, Gale Sondergaard

THE BLACK CAT
1980
0
Deaths in a village are attributed to a cat.
Magee helps a little and the English setting helps a little, but not nearly enough – a slackly scripted, ponderous horror which does little to convince you that the cat’s a threat. The ending, which is familiar, is probably the best bit, but even that’s botched.
Dir: Lucio Fulci
Stars: Patrick Magee, Mimsy Farmer, David Warbeck, Al Cliver

THE BLACK CAT
1990
0
A film production unit is plagued by a supernatural curse.
Dismal example of the Italian horror film industry.
Dir: Luigi Cozzi
Stars: Florence Guerin, Caroline Munro, Urbano Barberini, Alessandra Acciai

THE BLACK CAULDRON
1985
*
A young pig owner takes on the might of the evil Horned King.
Disappointing 25th cartoon feature from Disney which looks great but isn't up to their old standards of animated storytelling.
Dir: Ted Berman, Richard Rich
Voices: Grant Bardsley, Susan Sheridan, Freddie Jones, Nigel Hawthorne

BLACK CHRISTMAS
1974
0
A killer preys on college girls during the festive season.
Drab, restrained shocker with much straying from its central premise.
Dir: Bob Clark
Stars: Olivia Hussey, Keir Dullea, Margot Kidder, John Saxon

BLACK DEATH
2010
0
In the 14th century, Christian soldiers travel through the plague-ridden land in search of a village that has escaped it.
More feelbad fun ‘n’ games from the British film industry – a bleak, dour and depressing semi-horror devoid of humour, along with very confused messages about religion, although the main one seems to be 'those who deny god are the most evil ones'.
Dir: Christopher Smith
Stars: Sean Bean, Eddie Redmayne, Carice van Houten, Tim McInnery, David Warner, Andy Nyman

BLACK DRAGONS
1942
0
One by one, a group of treacherous American industrialists are found dead with a Japanese dagger in their hands.
Preposterous wartime hokum whose many innocent delights include hysterical dialogue, a hilarious denouement and Lugosi and his sinister chuckles, portentous warnings and staring eyes. There are a thousand worse ways to spend an hour.
Dir: William Nigh
Stars: Bela Lugosi, Joan Barclay, George Pembroke, Clayton Moore

BLACK EMANUELLE
1975
0
A female photographer travels to Africa on an assignment.
The first in the sleazy series presumably started shooting before a script had turned up in the post, as its running time is filled up with much carnal coupling and travelogue footage rather than plot. Available in different versions that provide different levels of enjoyment to the male viewer.
Dir: Bitto Albertini
Stars: Laura Gemser, Karin Schubert, Angelo Infanti

BLACK FRIDAY
1940
*
A scientist transplants part of the brain of a gangster into his injured professor friend.
Brisk thriller, a mix of horror and gangster film, not so much notable for Karloff and Lugosi in the same film (they don't actually have any scenes together) but for Ridges's dual performance - if you didn't know better you'd swear it was two separate actors. A fair use of 65 minutes, with enterprising notions played admirably straight by the cast.
Dir: Arthur Lubin
Stars: Stanley Ridges, Boris Karloff, Bela Lugosi, Anne Nagel

BLACK GOLD
2006
*
Documentary purporting to show the unfairness of the world trade in coffee.
An appeal for fair treatment of the Third World which makes its case with some conviction. It ends with a web address to visit for further information.
Dir: Marc Francis, Nick Francis

THE BLACK HOLE
1979
*
A scientist on a space station hatches a plan to enter a black hole.
Disney's punt at the Star Wars fad passes the time, but there's little sense of spontaneity or fun.
Dir: Gary Nelson
Stars: Maximilian Schell, Anthony Perkins, Robert Forster, Joseph Bottoms, Ernest Borgnine, Roddy McDowall

BLACK JOY

1977

*

An African immigrant arrives in Brixton.

One of the first British films to try and fully immerse itself in the 'black experience', this is a vivid and vibrant slice of life that sadly doesn't have all that strong a plot. You might get hung for saying it nowadays but there's also a lot of yelling and many of the heavily accented individuals are tricky to understand. Still, it has a certain something, though it's difficult to imagine many flocking to it.

Dir: Anthony Simmons

Stars: Norman Beaton, Trevor Thomas, Dawn Hope, Floella Benjamin

BLACK LIGHTNING
2009
*
A student is given a vintage car that can fly.
A sort of Russian version of Spider-Man but with a flying automobile; maybe this stuff is best left to Hollywood, as Soviet dourness is not easy to diffuse - humour is here in short supply and its super-powered car struggles to tickle the emotions. A decent enough effort for its countrymen, though, with acceptable special effects.
Dir: Dmitriy Kiselev, Aleksandr Voytinskiy
Stars: Grigoriy Dobrygin, Ekaterina Vilkova, Viktor Verzhbitskiy

BLACK NARCISSUS
1947
**
Nuns run into trouble in the Himalayas.
A strange and beautiful film that is pregnant with meanings that it cannot make explicit, sometimes irritatingly so; in dramatic terms it only really comes alight towards the end but the close-up photography of the pale nuns clad in white – with splashes of red at certain times – is bewitching, and the fact that the location was recreated on a soundstage is remarkable. Kerr, Simmons and Byron ensure this is one of the most forceful testaments to the erotic power of females on film.
Dir: Michael Powell, Emeric Pressburger
Stars: Deborah Kerr, David Farrar, Flora Robson, Sabu, Jean Simmons, Kathleen Byron

THE BLACK PANTHER
1977
*
The true story of Donald Neilson, who kidnapped and murdered a young heiress.
Glum, faintly dubious treatment of unpleasant criminal exploits that don't particularly lend themselves to good suspense drama.
Dir: Ian Merrick
Stars: Donald Sumpter, Debbie Farrington, Andrew Burt

BLACK PANTHER
2018
*
T'Challa, the king of Wakanda, is challenged by a young villain who was wronged by T'Challa's father.
It was difficult to get an unbiased, unprejudiced view on this movie from either side of the culture war (because that is what we sadly now have), and it remains difficult to assess because it is indeed so political, essentially a black (and feminist) fantasy of an African utopia, and a film with virtually no white people in it. Imagine that both these things were reversed. Anyway, it's well enough done for what it is, but really just another in the endless line of predictable Marvel megabusters, rather dull and wordy at times, and not exactly blessed with multi-faceted performances - its enormous success at the box office is bamboozling. Perhaps folk were influenced by the critics terrified of giving it a poor review.
Dir: Ryan Coogler
Stars: Chadwick Boseman, Michael B Jordan, Lupita Nyong'o, Martin Freeman

BLACK RAINBOW
1990
*
A psychic discovers that she can predict deaths.
Fantasy that develops interestingly if with no logical point.
Dir: Mike Hodges
Stars: Rosanna Arquette, Jason Robards, Tom Hulce

THE BLACK ROOM
1935
**
A nobleman's power is claimed by his evil twin brother.
Sprightly, twisty, well detailed horror with Karloff on top form.
Dir: Roy William Neill
Stars: Boris Karloff, Marian Marsh, Robert Allen

THE BLACK ROOM
1982
0
A husband is drawn to a strange vampiric couple and their house in Hollywood Hills.
Limp horror with the odd fresh idea buried under a mountain of amateurism; someone should have told the makers that just because they underscore everything with creepy music it doesn't necessarily make it creepy.
Dir: Elly Kenner, Norman Thaddeus Vane
Stars: Stephen Knight, Cassandra Gava, Jimmy Stathis, Clara Perryman

BLACK SABBATH
1963
*
Three horror stories: The Drop Of Water, The Telephone and The Wurdalak.
Some of the scenes in Bava's anthology are so beautiful they could be paintings; the script is a little less grand. Story one is memorably chilling, story two is fairly effective in a confined setting, story three drags in places but contains stunning images.
Dir: Mario Bava
Stars: Boris Karloff, Mark Damon, Michele Mercier

THE BLACK SCORPION
1957
0
Geologists investigate giant scorpions in Mexico.
Dull monster movie with variable trick effects; the beastie isn’t particularly interesting and nor are the humans.
Dir: Edward Ludwig
Stars: Richard Denning, Mara Corday, Carlos Rivas

BLACK SEA 213
1998
0
A fashion photographer and his models get mixed up with arms smugglers.
Inept and trashy thriller largely consisting of sleepwalking actors doing absurd things accompanied by a mournful soundtrack.
Dir: Rafael Eisenman
Stars: Timothy Bottoms, Jacqueline Lovell, Anthony Addabbo, Brion James

BLACK SHEEP OF WHITEHALL
1941
*
Dopey civil servants manage to foil a Nazi plot.
Fast-moving comedy with a plot not dissimilar to a Hitchcock thriller (with extra wackiness, of course); the star is in good form, here sporting several different guises, including being in drag. 'Out of the basket, onto the floor' is this reviewer's favourite line.
Dir: Basil Dearden, Will Hay
Stars: Will Hay, John Mills, Basil Sydney, Felix Aylmer, Thora Hird

THE BLACK SHIELD OF FALWORTH
1954
0
In the time of King Henry IV, a feisty peasant becomes a knight.
As pretty much as standard Sunday afternoon telly viewing as you can get, this historical swashbuckler has ‘predictable’ ingrained all the way through it, but it’s in bright Technicolor and there are plenty of vigorous brawls and jousts.
Dir: Rudolph Mate
Stars: Tony Curtis, Janet Leigh, David Farrar, Torin Thatcher

THE BLACK SLEEP
1956
0
A mad scientist will do anything to cure his wife's brain tumour.
Low budget horror that gets weirder, and possibly worse, the longer it lasts; the well-known cast don't really get to stretch their talents.
Dir: Reginald Le Borg
Stars: Basil Rathbone, Akim Tamiroff, Lon Chaney Jr, John Carradine, Bela Lugosi, Tor Johnson

BLACK SUNDAY
1960
**
An evil 17th century witch is revived by a drop of blood.
Inventive gothic horror with gory surprises every few minutes, icy and somewhat humourless but certainly a visual triumph for the director/cinematographer; it doesn't have the shock value it once had, with the exception of the opening scene, but it's still possibly Bava's best.
Dir: Mario Bava
Stars: Barbara Steele, John Richardson, Andrea Checchi

BLACK SWAN
2010
***
A ballet dancer pushing herself for the lead in Swan Lake loses her mind.
The Red Shoes meets early Polanski in an extremely effective psychological thriller in which we are never sure what is real and what is not, thereby inviting us to question the nature of reality itself. It’s greatly indebted to Portman’s excellent performance - her character being constantly on the verge of falling to pieces but somehow not irksome - and her beautiful features which are forever focused on by the intense camerawork. The manifestation of her character’s mental problems, thanks to being pushed to sacrifice everything for her art, is icky body problems which give the film its most jolting moments: but this is a picture of many layers and meanings, one that demands a repeat viewing.
Dir: Darren Aronofsky
Stars: Natalie Portman, Vincent Cassel, Mila Kunis, Barbara Hershey, Winona Ryder

THE BLACK TORMENT
1964
*
A man is apparently haunted by the ghost of his first wife.
Passable chiller with an eerie atmosphere and a conclusion some might find hard to swallow. It's from an era when horror films were essentially 'cosy' (but never would have been branded so at the time), and its gothic period trimmings are all present and correct, due to typical English professionalism. A bit like a reverse of Hitchcock's Rebecca, it even switches round one of that film's best-known lines.

Dir: Robert Hartford-Davis
Stars: John Turner, Heather Sears, Ann Lynn, Peter Arne, Patrick Troughton

BLACK WIDOW
1987
*
A woman systematically marries and murders men for their money.
Slick thriller.
Dir: Bob Rafelson
Stars: Debra Winger, Theresa Russell, Dennis Hopper, Nicol Williamson, Diane Ladd

BLACKBEARD’S GHOST
1967
0
The ghost of the famous pirate helps some old ladies out.
Cumbersome comedy which relies on the tiresome invisible-to-everyone-else routine.
Dir: Robert Stevenson
Stars: Peter Ustinov, Dean Jones, Suzanne Pleshette, Elsa Lanchester

THE BLACKBOARD JUNGLE
1955
**
A teacher takes on a tough class at his new school.
Influential and involving drama notable for its moody photography and strong performances.
Dir: Richard Brooks
Stars: Glenn Ford, Anne Francis, Sidney Poitier, Vic Morrow

BLACKKKLANSMAN
2018
***
In the 1970s, a black police officer infiltrates the Ku Klux Klan.
Spike Lee's best film in many years tells an extraordinary based-on-truth story well, with a smoother flowing, less heavy style than might have been expected. He almost spoils it at the end with some contemporary news footage of Charlottesville, but overall this is a mature and clever movie with some subtle suspense and judicious cross-cutting.
Dir: Spike Lee
Stars: John David Washington, Adam Driver, Laura Harrier, Topher Grace

BLACKMAIL
1929
***
A policeman's girlfriend is involved with a murder; he conceals the fact and is blackmailed for it.
Hitchcock's first talkie now looks awkward but has its director's flourishes very much in evidence and remains a skilfully constructed yarn.
Dir: Alfred Hitchcock
Stars: Anny Ondra, Sara Allgood, Donald Calthrop

BLACKOUT
1950
0
A blind man is mistakenly dropped off at the wrong address, and stumbles across a murder.
B-feature which falters after an intriguing opening – there isn’t enough budget or resourcefulness to mask the plot’s incredulities.
Dir: Robert S Baker
Stars: Maxwell Reed, Dinah Sheridan, Eric Pohlmann, Patric Doonan

BLADE RUNNER
1982
***
In 2019 Los Angeles, a policeman tracks down illegal genetically engineered replicants.
Downbeat sci-fi marrying a Marlowe-esque storyline to outstanding visuals, its reputation has steadily grown since an inauspicious release, perhaps overly so: it’s incredibly dour, almost formless and depressingly dark (why would people live in this place?). The director’s later decision to remove the lead character’s narration and have a bleaker ending was wise but doesn't make it that much more of an entertaining experience. Perhaps the key to getting invested in this film is to immerse yourself in the atmosphere, tolerate the longueurs and appreciate the care and expertise that went into the production design.
Dir: Ridley Scott
Stars: Harrison Ford, Rutger Hauer, Sean Young, Daryl Hannah, M Emmet Walsh, Edward James Olmos

BLADE RUNNER 2049
2017
*
A young blade runner discovers a long-buried secret.
They had to wait many years to make a sequel to Scott's movie because it needed time to gain critical acclaim - it may be a while before this one is as universally acclaimed, if that ever happens at all. Personality-free Gosling is probably a good front for a film that is visually sumptuous and emotionally dead; it's also very long, very slow, very serious and dramatically lethargic, but like the original, sci-fi nerds will sink themselves into its strange (silly) world and bleak atmosphere. There are certainly some profound ideas in what's effectively an art house movie - though not quite as profound as the makers think - and there's enormous skill on the production front, but it comes over like a self-indulgent director's cut, something to wade through, at least on a first viewing.
Dir: Denis Villeneuve
Stars: Ryan Gosling, Harrison Ford, Ana de Armas, Jared Leto

THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT
1999
**
Three teenagers get lost in spooky woods.
The hype and expectation that surrounded this film always meant that it was going to disappoint many, and although it isn’t as scary as you’d like it to be, it’s a cleverly crafted slice of cinema; pity the characters are all ’orrible.
Dir: Daniel Myrick, Eduardo Sanchez
Stars: Heather Donahue, Joshua Leonard, Michael C Williams

BLAME IT ON RIO
1983
*
On holiday in Rio, a man falls in love with his best friend's daughter.
Watchable, sexy comedy, a remake of a French film.
Dir: Stanley Donen
Stars: Michael Caine, Joseph Bologna, Michelle Johnson, Demi Moore

BLASTFIGHTER
1984
0
An ex cop seeks vengeance after being menaced by local hunters.
Slow starting, unrewarding First Blood imitation in need of star quality.
Dir: Lamberto Bava
Stars: Michael Sopkiw, Valentina Forte, George Eastman

BLAZE
1989
0
In 1950s Louisiana, a politician gets involved with a stripper.
Competent but dull drama based on a true story, probably of more interest to audiences in Louisiana.
Dir: Ron Shelton
Stars: Paul Newman, Lolita Davidovich, Jerry Hardin

BLAZE STARR GOES NUDIST

1962

0

A stripper regularly slopes off to a nudist camp.

It's difficult to know what to say about this film, a nudie flick which utilises the charms of a well-known burlesque performer - although it's a while into it before she strips. Before then we get the usual nudist camp views of the time (like at the start of Carry On Camping), and while nothing's terribly interesting or accomplished (or titillating), it's a not disagreeable example of the sleaze movie industry of the period. Its onscreen title (on some prints?) is Blaze Starr Goes Wild.

Dir: Doris Wishman

Stars: Blaze Starr, Ralph Young, Gene Berk

BLAZING SADDLES

1974

***

A black railroad worker becomes the sheriff of a town that isn't too keen on him.

Brooks' comic Western remains a winner, despite early 21st century attempts to 'cancel' it because of certain words it uses - but then the radical Left never did do nuance (the foolish characters here are those who oppose the black sheriff) or humour, and this is a funny film - the highlights are still hilarious, even if one sometimes feels the gaps between them could be shorter. There are certainly many eccentric performances to be treasured.

Dir: Mel Brooks

Stars: Cleavon Little, Gene Wilder, Harvey Korman, Slim Pickens, Mel Brooks, Madeline Kahn

BLEAK MOMENTS
1971
***
A woman, her retarded sister and a boyfriend live out dull lives in a south London suburb.
One wouldn't think a film about pure boredom could be so fascinating; this is both discomforting and hilarious because of its extreme interpretations of failure to communicate.
Dir: Mike Leigh
Stars: Anne Raitt, Sarah Stephenson, Liz Smith, Eric Allan

BLESS THIS HOUSE
1972
0
The peace of suburbia is blighted by battling neighbours.
Unfunny and unnecessary film version of a popular TV sitcom; the loss of the laugh track is a loss. The lack of dramatic incidents that are meaningful is almost surreal, while the humour plumbs depths like a lame food fight and an exploding shed - plus Terry Scott gives one of his very irritating performances. Defiantly uncinematic and stuck in its time period - which isn't always a bad thing - it will baffle young audiences.
Dir: Gerald Thomas
Stars: Sid James, Diana Coupland, Terry Scott, June Whitfield, Sally Geeson, Peter Butterworth, Robin Askwith

BLIND DATE

1959

*

A Dutch painter in London gets caught up in a murky murder plot.

This director's form was all over the place but this is him at neither his very worst or best - it's somehow not very likeable though (is it unkind to suggest that in part that's because of Presle's looks, Kruger's unlikeableness and Baker's accent?). At least it's quite different in structure - how well that structure works for the individual viewer will be personal preference.

Dir: Joseph Losey

Stars: Hardy Kruger, Stanley Baker, Micheline Presle

BLIND DATE
1983
*
A blind man manages to thwart a serial killer who is picking on beautiful women.
Unconvincing but enjoyable thriller of an unusual kind; effective moments and a hard-to-guess killer.
Dir: Nico Mastorakis
Stars: Joseph Bottoms, Kirstie Alley, Keir Dullea

BLIND DATE
1987
*
A businessman needs a date to go to his bosses’ luncheon - he gets a girl who goes crazy when she drinks a drop.
Smooth, chucklesome comedy revolving around two nights of farcical disaster.
Dir: Blake Edwards
Stars: Bruce Willis, Kim Basinger, William Daniels

THE BLIND SIDE
2009
**
A rich white family helps a wayward black boy to become a top football player.
This could not be more likely to annoy liberal film critics, what with its story of a Christian, Republican family assisting a youth from a rough black background, and it is exceedingly cheesy, but somehow it pretty much works, thanks to its sunny, positive outlook and Bullock's commanding, if rather one-note, performance. The Academy certainly liked it.
Dir: John Lee Hancock
Stars: Sandra Bullock, Quinton Aaron, Tim McGraw, Kathy Bates

BLIND TERROR
1971
*
A blind girl is menaced by a maniac.
This horror thriller is fairly typical of its writer, Brian Clemens, who often put isolated ladies in trouble, and it has its effective moments, borne out of its intriguing scenario: the blind Farrow eventually stalked by the mysterious killer in his cowboy boots. It has atmosphere and skilful photography but it is quite drawn out, and for a blind person, Farrow's character doesn't seem to have her other senses that finely attuned.
Dir: Richard Fleischer
Stars: Mia Farrow, Dorothy Alison, Robin Bailey, Paul Nicholas, Michael Elphick

BLINDED BY THE LIGHT
2019
0
In the late Eighties, an Asian boy in Luton finds solace in the music of Bruce Springsteen.
A weirdly curdled film: it offers social commentary of urban England but worships at the altar of a grandiloquent, overwrought American singer - the appreciative crossover audience is likely to be small. It has an earthy take on Eighties Britain yet occasionally slips into musical fantasia, and the effect is generally toe-curling; overlength, basic scripting and plain performances do not aid it. Defiantly ethnic and highly political, sometimes laughably, its anachronisms are risible but it was given an easy ride by the critics because it ticks many of the 'right' diversity boxes.
Dir: Gurinder Chadha
Stars: Viveik Kalra, Kulvinder Ghir, Meera Ganatra, Hayley Atwell

BLINK
1993
0
A partly blind woman is an unreliable witness to a murder.
Perfunctory thriller, dull and dislikeable from scene one onwards.
Dir: Michael Apted
Stars: Madeleine Stowe, Aidan Quinn, James Remar

BLISS
1985
*
After a heart attack, a man realises how awful his life is and seeks happiness.
Black comedy that starts well but gets mixed up around the half-way mark and never recovers.
Dir: Ray Lawrence
Stars: Barry Otto, Lynette Curran, Helen Jones

THE BLISS OF MRS BLOSSOM
1968
0
The wife of a bra manufacturer keeps a lover in the attic.
Incoherent farce, the filmic fag end of the Swinging Sixties introduced by A Hard Day's Night.
Dir: Joe McGrath
Stars: Shirley MacLaine, Richard Attenborough, James Booth, Freddie Jones, William Rushton, Bob Monkhouse, John Cleese

BLITHE SPIRIT
1945
**
A novelist’s second marriage is disturbed by the ghost of his first wife.
Classy adaptation of a fine play, in which superlative acting, scripting and direction combine.
Dir: David Lean
Stars: Rex Harrison, Constance Cummings, Margaret Rutherford, Kay Hammond

THE BLOB
1958
*
A small town combats a slimy space invader.
Colourful hokum featuring a novel monster versus over-age teenagers, it's fondly remembered mainly for its globular invader, who actually isn't in it all that much; way too much time is taken up by the kids trying to convince the sceptical adults that the Blob is about - because we know they're telling the truth these scenes are devoid of interest or suspense. It also has the most inappropriate-for-a-horror film theme tune ever.
Dir: Irvin S Yeaworth Jr
Stars: Steve McQueen, Aneta Corsaut, Earl Rowe

THE BLOB
1989
*
A government germ warfare weapon goes wrong and evolves into a hideous monster.
Lively remake which effectively utilises modern special effects, which manage to be even more horrible than the American kids in it.
Dir: Chuck Russell
Stars: Kevin Dillon, Shawnee Smith, Donovan Leitch

BLOCK-HEADS
1938
***
Ollie is reunited with army colleague Stan who has been guarding his post for 20 years, unaware that the Great War is over.
A little unevenly paced it may be, but this is still one of Laurel and Hardy's funniest features, and their last truly great one. The laughs are evenly paced out and of different kinds, including some wonderfully off-kilter moments, like Stan getting looks for the sound the water cooler makes and Gilbert's 'you look like a home-wrecker!'
Dir: John G Blystone
Stars: Stan Laurel, Oliver Hardy, Patricia Ellis, Billy Gilbert, James Finlayson

THE BLOCKHOUSE
1973
0
In World War 2, a group of men become trapped underground for several years.
A worthy piece perhaps, but the subject matter in no way lends itself to entertainment. Not surprisingly it was barely released and became one of Sellers' most obscure pictures, which was a shame because his performance is commendable.
Dir: Clive Rees
Stars: Peter Sellers, Charles Aznavour, Jeremy Kemp, Peter Vaughan

BLONDE COBRA

1963

0

Two men do and say strange things.

Beyond bizarre avant garde short that is impossible to understand on any level - and the screen is black for a third of the time. More people have seen this than should have done because of its curious inclusion in the book 1001 Movies You Must See Before You Die.

Dir: Ken Jacobs

Stars: Ken Jacobs, Jack Smith

BLOOD AND BLACK LACE
1964
*
Models at a fashion house are picked off one by one.
Glossy horror whodunit, quite likeable.
Dir: Mario Bava
Stars: Cameron Mitchell, Eva Bartok, Thomas Reiner

BLOOD BATH
1966
0
An artist is also a bloodsucking vampire.
A film as bizarre as its history: a kooky horror/beatnik yarn, it includes around nine minutes of footage from Portrait In Terror (qv), which was a re-edit of 1963 Yugoslavian crime drama Operacija Ticijan; it was then expanded by a further 17 minutes and released to television as Track Of The Vampire – that version has some long padded sequences of extraordinary dullness, including interminable chases and beach dancing. A very strange experience, not without atmosphere but without coherence, its mishmash of elements may only be acceptable to fans of Roger Corman, who was behind it. The whole crazy story is explained by Tim Lucas on a fascinating 82 minute featurette on the 2016 DVD.
Dir: Jack Hill, Stephanie Rothman (and Rados Novakovic)
Stars: William Campbell, Marissa Mathes, Lori Saunders, Sid Haig

BLOOD BATH
1976
0
Diners at a horror film studios tell four weird tales, concerning a hit man, a magic coin, a greedy businessman and a fraudulent kung fu master.
Strange little back-street horror anthology from the maker of Bloodsucking Freaks (qv), which goes for kooky comedy rather than gory nastiness; it's a continent away from being 'good' in any way, but its madness is a little endearing and some of the performances rise above the shoddy presentation (some don't).
Dir: Joel M Reed
Stars: Harve Presnell, Jack Somack, Curt Dawson

BLOOD BEACH
1980
0
Unlucky bathers are sucked into the sand on a Californian beach.
Dull, talkative horror done in the manner of a '50s monster movie.
Dir: Jeffrey Bloom
Stars: John Saxon, Burt Young, David Huffman

THE BLOOD BEAST TERROR
1967
0
In 19th century England, a woman turns into a murderous giant moth.
Stiff, anaemic horror with worse script and direction than pretty much every Hammer film.
Dir: Vernon Sewell
Stars: Peter Cushing, Robert Flemyng, Vanessa Howard, Glynn Edwards, Roy Hudd

BLOOD DIAMOND
2006
*
In war-torn Sierra Leone, a smuggler helps a native find his son in order to get his hands on a valuable diamond.
Densely plotted, angry thriller rather like a modernised, politicalised Treasure Of Sierra Madre, it could have lost the romantic sub-plot for extra potence.
Dir: Edward Zwick
Stars: Leonardo DiCaprio, Jennifer Connelly, Djimon Hounsou, Michael Sheen

BLOOD FEAST
1963
0
Young girls are slaughtered to satisfy an ancient Egyptian cult.
What is acknowledged as the first ever gore film now looks almost tame compared to modern horrors, there actually only being small amounts of bloodiness - along with bad acting and childish plotting.
Dir: Herschell Gordon Lewis
Stars: William Kerwin, Mal Arnold, Toni Calvert

BLOOD FEAST 2: ALL U CAN EAT
2002
0
A caterer kills young women, just like his grandfather did.
Fans of gore and the director will have a ball and forgive this film its thousand flaws, but normal folk won’t give it more than a few minutes’ attention. If you can be bothered it has a few funny and disgusting moments, but couldn’t Lewis have made it at least 20 minutes shorter?
Dir: Herschell Gordon Lewis
Stars: JP Delahoussaye, John McConnell, Mark McLachlan, John Waters

BLOOD FOR DRACULA
1973
*
Count Dracula comes to Italy to find a virgin bride.
A largely sexual interpretation of the story, with some strong and bizarre images, but overall rather slow, verbal and trite.
Dir: Paul Morrissey
Stars: Joe Dallesandro, Udo Kier, Arno Juerging

BLOOD FROM THE MUMMY’S TOMB
1971
*
A woman is possessed by the spirit of an Egyptian princess.
Honourable but unsuccessful Hammer attempt to do something a bit different; too muddled and po-faced to be particularly entertaining. The cast try hard but the end result is merely trying (Valerie Leon looks majestic throughout though - a female at the absolute peak of her womanhood).
Dir: Seth Holt, Michael Carreras
Stars: Andrew Keir, Valerie Leon, James Villiers, Hugh Burden

BLOOD MONEY
1974
0
A secret is tattooed on the behinds of women - a cowboy must find them.
One of those films in which almost everything is terrible.
Dir: Antonio Margheriti
Stars: Lee Van Cleef, Lieh Lo, Patty Shepard

THE BLOOD OF DR JEKYLL
1981
0
Respected scientist Dr Jekyll throws a party for his friends, but one of the guests is found murdered.
Utter rubbish; one wonders if it is difficult to make a film as atrociously shot and scripted as this.
Dir: Walerian Borowczyk
Stars: Udo Kier, Patrick Magee, Howard Vernon

BLOOD OF DRACULA
1957
0
A feisty schoolgirl is chosen by her science teacher for a vampiric experiment.
No blood... no Dracula... no discernible quality on show: a cheesy, teenage-fixated schlock horror that doesn’t have any horror until some way in.
Dir: Herbert L Strock
Stars: Sandra Harrison, Louise Lewis, Gail Ganley

THE BLOOD OF FU MANCHU
1968
0
Fu Manchu injects girls with poison and sends them on missions.
Appalling drivel.
Dir: Jess Franco
Stars: Christopher Lee, Richard Greene, Maria Rohm, Shirley Eaton

BLOOD OF THE VAMPIRE

1958

0

A doctor uses the blood of inmates of an asylum to stay alive.

Anaemic shocker in which little happens and what does is silly and predictable; the pace is sluggish and the narrative not engaging - if you have something else on your mind the film is not likely to distract you from it. The colour is nice.

Dir: Henry Cass

Stars: Donald Wolfit, Vincent Ball, Barbara Shelley, Victor Maddern

THE BLOOD ON SATAN’S CLAW

1970

*

In a 17th century English village, a devil's hand turns the youth evil.

Well handled shocker with imaginative ideas; creepy and quite unsettling - especially that surgery scene - despite almost exclusively being shot in daylight in the countryside. It’s a slightly over-praised film nowadays, though, and not as compelling as Witchfinder General, with which it has much in common; the atmosphere of olden times is there but the story and characters aren't quite as strong.

Dir: Piers Haggard

Stars: Patrick Wymark, Linda Hayden, Barry Andrews, Michele Dotrice

BLOOD ORANGE
1954
0
A fashion house is blighted by several murders.
Minor, slightly stiff thriller, an early Hammer production.
Dir: Terence Fisher
Stars: Tom Conway, Richard Wattis, Michael Ripper, Roger Delgado

BLOOD RELATIVES
1979
0
A 15-year-old girl accuses her brother of murder.
Talkative, randomly structured thriller sometimes advertised as a horror.
Dir: Claude Chabrol
Stars: Donald Sutherland, Lisa Langlois, Donald Pleasance

BLOOD RITES
1967
0
Heirs to an inheritance are threatened in a remote house.
Criticism of this home movie style horror would be superfluous; the people of Britain were done a big favour when it was banned in the mid ’80s.
Dir: Andy Milligan
Stars: Veronica Radburn, Maggie Rogers, Hal Borske

BLOOD SIMPLE
1984
*
A detective is enlisted to murder an adulterous wife and her lover.
Stylish thriller with a few nail-biting sequences that make up for the slow, hard-to-follow bits.
Dir: Joel Coen
Stars: John Getz, Frances McDormand, M Emmet Walsh

BLOOD SONG
1982
0
A girl has psychic visions of a murderer's actions.
A song with way too many bum notes, and not in the least bit catchy.
Dir: Alan J Levi
Stars: Donna Wilkes, Frankie Avalon, Richard Jaeckel, Antoinette Bower

BLOOD THIRST

1971

0

An American detective travels to Manila to investigate murders in which girls have been found drained of blood.

Shot in 1965 but not released till 1971, when things felt quite different, this is a plodding and verbose mystery with occasional flashes of crazier things. Prepare for lots of scenes of people talking to one another with concern in their voice.

Dir: Newt Arnold

Stars: Robert Winston, Katherine Henryk, Yvonne Nielson

BLOOD TIDE

1982

0

Virgins are sacrificed to a monster stalking a Greek island.

Mind-numbingly boring horror with nice location shooting - certainly a holiday in this part of the world would be a million times more enjoyable than watching this. The script is like one that has been ripped to bits by a shark.

Dir: Richard Jefferies

Stars: James Earl Jones, Jose Ferrer, Lila Kedrova

BLOOD TRACKS
1986
0
Shooting a video in the snow, actors are menaced by cannibals.
Dark horror that's a bane to watch.
Dir: Mats Helge, Derek Ford
Stars: Jeff Harding, Naomi Kaneda, Michael Fitzpatrick

BLOODBATH AT THE HOUSE OF DEATH

1984

0

Scientists examine a house where murders took place years ago.

A weird attempt at a horror comedy that will neither appeal to horror fans nor comedy fans; its impressive cast promises good things but strange and awful script and directorial decisions derail it. The gags, which are often poor anyway, pretty much run out halfway through, around the same time as a disconnected Price disappears from the picture, and it descends into a confusing mess.  

Dir: Ray Cameron

Stars: Kenny Everett, Pamela Stephenson, Vincent Price, Gareth Hunt, Don Warrington, John Fortune, Sheila Steafel, Cleo Rocos, Graham Stark, David Lodge

BLOODLUST!
1961
0
Teenagers stumble upon an island which is inhabited by a big game hunter who plans to hunt them down.
Cheapjack unofficial remake of The Most Dangerous Game that offers little believable character behaviour (why do the kids agree to the hunt?) and no thrill of the chase.
Dir: Ralph Brooke
Stars: Wilton Graff, Robert Reed, June Kenney

BLOODLUST
1977
0
Because of childhood trauma, a deaf and dumb man drinks corpses' blood.
Underwritten psychological horror that becomes dull and repetitive; a few lurid scenes grab the attention and got the film on section three of the British video nasties list.
Dir: Marijan Vajda
Stars: Werner Porchath, Ellen Umlauf, Birgit Zamulo

BLOODSTAINED SHADOW
1978
0
A priest receives threats after witnessing a murder.
Routine, slow-moving horror thriller.
Dir: Antonio Bido
Stars: Lino Capolicchio, Stefania Casini, Craig Hill

BLOODSUCKERS

1971

0

A student's grades go to pot when he gets a vampire girlfriend.

Jumbled horror in which the audience is as confused as many of the characters are - it seems the production ran out of money and the film was unfinished but they decided to release it anyway. Pity, because the cast do their best and the Greek locations are vivid, even if the 'plot' often tries the patience.

Dir: Robert Hartford-Davis

Stars: Patrick Macnee, Peter Cushing, Patrick Mower, Alex Davion, Johnny Sekka, Madeleine Hinde, Edward Woodward 

BLOODSUCKING FREAKS
1976
0
An off-Broadway theatre is the setting for a sadistic director to torture and murder in the name of entertainment.
Pleasingly insane grindhouse flick, about as sleazy as they come, largely consisting of naked women being killed or assaulted in a very gory, mostly fake-looking, fashion. To rail against its demented milieu would be a waste of energy, and there actually are quite a few bright, funny moments - its tone isn't half as properly nasty as would become the norm for many horror films around thirty years later.
Dir: Joel M Reed
Stars: Seamus O'Brien, Viju Krem, Luis De Jesus

BLOODTHIRSTY BUTCHERS
1970
0
Sweeney Todd kills his customers and gives their bodies to pie-maker Mrs Lovett.
Another one of Milligan's dreadful London-shot horrors, this is just like the others with its mass of dialogue due to its minuscule budget, editing done by axe, constant burbling soundtrack and arid scenes shot in medium close-up. The acting's actually not terrible, but you wonder how anyone but deluded Milligan revisionists could endure this awfulness.
Dir: Andy Milligan
Stars: John Miranda, Annabella Wood, Berwick Kaler

BLOODY BIRTHDAY
1981
0
A trio of 10-year-olds born on the same day embark on a killing spree.
Inane horror with a few trashy pleasures; generally, though, it flogs its minor idea to death.
Dir: Ed Hunt
Stars: Lori Lethin, Melinda Cordell, Julie Brown

THE BLOODY JUDGE

1970

0

In 17th century England, a judge hands out harsh justice.

Dull and witless Witchfinder General-inspired horror which once again demonstrates that Jess Franco and cinema are at two with one another. It has all sorts of promise, what with Lee and the set-up, but Franco's hazy, random method of storytelling means it rarely holds the attention, and the chaotic nature of its production is exemplified by the fact that even in the best prints available it occasionally goes into Spanish dialogue.

Dir: Jess Franco

Stars: Christopher Lee, Maria Schell, Leo Genn, Maria Rohm

BLOODY KIDS
1980 (TV)
*
Two young boys give the Essex police headaches.
Offbeat drama that appears to be set in a slightly askew world: certainly all the characters behave in ways that could not be described as normal, and some of its events, such as the scene in the Chinese restaurant, are befuddling. Further adding to the alien feel is the night-time photography, which makes Southend-on-Sea look like a strange, unlovely place; the score makes the picture even more unconventional. Not exactly a huge pleasure to sit through, but an interesting experiment, albeit one with unclear motives.
Dir: Stephen Frears
Stars: Richard Thomas, Peter Clark, Gary Holton, Derrick O'Connor

BLOODY MAMA
1970
0
In 1930s America, outlaw Kate Barker and her four sons conduct a reign of terror.
Sloppily assembled gangster story made with some vim, but not strong on the plotting front.
Dir: Roger Corman
Stars: Shelley Winters, Bruce Dern, Robert De Niro, Scatman Crothers, Don Stroud

BLOODY MOON
1981
0
A killer stalks a girls' boarding school.
Horror refuse of the worst sort, with awful script and clueless direction.
Dir: Jess Franco
Stars: Olivia Pascal, Nadja Gerganoff

BLOODY NEW YEAR
1986
0
Teenagers are shipwrecked on an island which happens to be in a timewarp.
Horrifically awful straight-to-video shocker; no budget means no atmosphere, clumsy special effects, stilted dialogue and a story like a primary school child's essay.
Dir: Norman J Warren
Stars: Suzy Aitchison, Nikki Brooks, Colin Heywood

BLOSSOMS IN THE DUST
1941
**
In the early 20th century, Texan woman Edna Gladney looks after illegitimate children and campaigns for their rights.
The sort of socially conscious picture that the Academy would fawn over in years to come, this is a highly proficient biographical drama powered by the always beautiful and mesmerising Garson (here in the first of her eight films with Pidgeon). The early Technicolor is pleasing too, and it should be seen by all adopted children, at the very least.
Dir: Mervyn LeRoy
Stars: Greer Garson, Walter Pidgeon, Felix Bressart, Marsha Hunt

BLOTTO
1930
***
Stan's wife keeps tabs on the boys when they have a night out.
Consistently pleasing frolic which ends with a bang, following some delightful absurdist humour; Stan's wife is a particular joy, and the mostly dialogue-free sequence in the bar is splendid. The basic plot was one they were often fond of reworking, but it never got tired.
Dir: James Parrott
Stars: Stan Laurel, Oliver Hardy, Anita Garvin

NB Remade in a longer (too long?) Spanish-language version, La Vida Nocturna.

BLOW DRY
2001
0
A hairdressers competition comes to a small northern town.
Toe-curling 'comedy' about cancer, homosexuals and hair-cutting that's mawkish and predictable. The soundtrack's dire too.
Dir: Paddy Breathnach
Stars: Alan Rickman, Natasha Richardson, Rachel Griffiths, Rachel Leigh Cook, Josh Hartnett, Bill Nighy

BLOW OUT
1981
*
A sound effects engineer captures a murder on tape.
Moderately gripping thriller with the director's usual nods to other auteurs.
Dir: Brian De Palma
Stars: John Travolta, Nancy Allen, John Lithgow, Dennis Franz

BLOW UP
1966
***
A fashion photographer shoots a reel of film in a park, develops it, and begins to think that he has inadvertently captured a murder.
Chic, swinging London captured perfectly, and it all seems a long time ago. The plot’s premise is utterly fascinating and although it eventually goes nowhere that's not the point - the point is that fantasy and reality are nearly inseparable.
Dir: Michelangelo Antonioni
Stars: David Hemmings, Vanessa Redgrave, Sarah Miles, Jane Birkin, Peter Bowles

THE BLUE ANGEL
1930
**
A professor becomes infatuated with a vivacious burlesque performer.
This famous film bears many marks of an early talkie, and the opening half hour is particularly lumbering, but its dark and winding tale of the trouble women cause eventually draws you in, even if it’s just to feel sympathy for the humiliated intellectual; technically speaking it’s archaic and Dietrich’s performance isn’t actually her best.
Dir: Josef von Sternberg
Stars: Emil Jannings, Marlene Dietrich, Kurt Gerron, Rosa Valetti

BLUE BELLE
1975
0
A young woman attempts to find happiness in Hong Kong.
Fuzzy soft core drama with pretensions.
Dir: Massimo Dallamano
Stars: Annie Belle, Felicity Devonshire, Maria Rohm

THE BLUE BIRD
1940
**
Two children search for the bluebird of happiness, unaware it is in their back yard.
Charming fantasy which gloriously bursts into Technicolor after its black and white introduction; almost as good as The Wizard Of Oz.
Dir: Walter Lang
Stars: Shirley Temple, Nigel Bruce, Gale Sondergaard

THE BLUE BIRD
1976
0
Boring remake with scenes that go on for years; a Russian-American co-production.
Dir: George Cukor
Stars: Elizabeth Taylor, Jane Fonda, Ava Gardner, Robert Morley, Patsy Kensit, Mona Washbourne, George Cole

BLUE BLOOD
1973
0
A butler seeks to dominate his master.
Brooding drama with echoes of The Servant and flashes of sex and horror; it's mildly interesting rather than exciting, coming across as quite hollow and mean. Shot entirely at Longleat House, evidently so, possibly the most notable thing about it.
Dir: Andrew Sinclair
Stars: Oliver Reed, Derek Jacobi, Fiona Lewis, Anna Gael

THE BLUE EYES OF THE BROKEN DOLL
1974
*
A troubled ex-convict starts work at a house inhabited by strange women.
A sort of Spanish giallo featuring the comfortingly terrible Naschy and innumerable beautiful females, this is watchable enough despite all the unintentional laughs, inappropriate music and crash zooms (or perhaps because of them); it made it to the section 3 video nasties list in Britain thanks to some pleasing gore and some unpleasing pig slaughter.
Dir: Carlos Aured
Stars: Paul Naschy, Diana Lorys, Eduardo Calvo, Eva Leon

BLUE ICE
1992
0
Thanks to a sexy American woman, a former secret agent re-enters the dangerous world of espionage.
Wooden would-be-thriller which verges on incoherence and always seems ill at ease.
Dir: Russell Mulcahy
Stars: Michael Caine, Sean Young, Ian Holm, Alun Armstrong

BLUE IS THE WARMEST COLOUR
2013
***
A young woman becomes attracted to another female, an artist who dyes her hair blue.
It's a little long, but this multi-award-winning French drama is a fine achievement, an honest, immersive and at times moving film that doesn't seek to either judge or celebrate sexuality; much of its power comes from lead actress Exarchopoulos, her beautiful, expressive, doubting features - frequently in close-up - saying so much. By the end the viewer feels like they've been on a journey, even though its story is, with perhaps one difference, one of the oldest stories in the world.
Dir: Abdellatif Kechiche
Stars: Adele Exarchopoulos, Lea Seydoux

BLUE JASMINE

2013

**

A woman who has been married to a crooked businessman finds it difficult to adjust to life without him.

One of Allen's best latter-period films is a finely observed dramedy which preaches the merits of the simple life and warns against self-delusion. Energised by a strong performance from Blanchett (among others), it's a modern, slightly warmer take on A Streetcar Named Desire that displays the remarkable writing skills of a 77-year-old movie legend: he writes female roles so well, and cleverly fashions a supple screenplay that takes in different places and different time periods while exploring his perennial themes of infidelity, class, sibling rivalry, younger women and more. The film was nominated for three Oscars, and Blanchett deservedly won hers.

Dir: Woody Allen

Stars: Cate Blanchett, Sally Hawkins, Alec Baldwin, Bobby Canavale, Peter Sarsgaard, Louis CK

THE BLUE LAGOON

1949

*

Two children are shipwrecked on a desert island, alongside an Irish sailor.

Viewed after watching the 1980 version, the latter version somehow seems preferable because of its more expansive photography, its ability to be more frank about the subject matter and its more modern feel; this feels a little stuffy and stagey (even though there was location shooting), with Houston looking about 41 (he was actually 25 or so). It's still a decent, if silly, story.

Dir: Frank Launder

Stars: Jean Simmons, Donald Houston, Noel Purcell

THE BLUE LAGOON

1980

*

Two young cousins are shipwrecked on a remote tropical island; the problems really start when they hit puberty.

A well known film; a not very good film; a film that's hard to hate. The third version of a 1908 novel became notorious for its depiction of young love with a nude Brooke Shields (even though she had body doubles) and has prurient appeal and lovely photography of an island paradise - you can nitpick the acting and the script, but why bother? It's not great art, but it is, somehow, a salient movie. Strange, confusing, downbeat ending though.

Dir: Randal Kleiser

Stars: Brooke Shields, Christopher Atkins, Leo McKern

THE BLUE LAMP

1950

**

Bobbies in central London come up against young, violent criminals.

Hugely popular in its day, this brisk and well made police drama, with extensive location shooting, can now be seen to have captured the capital just before it was transformed forever by new architecture and mass immigration, and is therefore full of value. It also offers a view of policing that would change beyond recognition in the next 50 or so years, too; plus, it's a decent chase thriller, at least in its second half.

Dir: Basil Dearden

Stars: Jack Warner, Dirk Bogarde, Jimmy Hanley, Robert Flemyng

BLUE MURDER AT ST TRINIAN’S
1957
0
The badly behaved girls wangle a trip to Rome.
Muddled comedy, the second in the series, that doesn't raise too many chuckles now.
Dir: Frank Launder
Stars: Terry-Thomas, George Cole, Joyce Grenfell, Alastair Sim, Lionel Jeffries, Terry Scott, Thorley Walters, Michael Ripper

BLUE RITA
1977
0
Female agents capture and torture unsuspecting males.
The usual terrible Franco opus; luminescent sets don’t offset inane plotting and tedious exposition.
Dir: Jess Franco
Stars: Pamela Stanford, Dagmar Burger, Martine Flety

BLUE STEEL
1990
*
A new female cop discovers her boyfriend is a psychotic gunman.
Polished police thriller with a quirky killer.
Dir: Kathryn Bigelow
Stars: Jamie Lee Curtis, Ron Silver, Clancy Brown

BLUE SUNSHINE
1978
0
People who took a certain type of LSD ten years previously turn into bald psychopaths.
Ill-thought out and mostly pedestrian horror that dismally fails to do anything engaging with its central idea; what could have been a wild and cultish shocker is an aimless and garrulous one.
Dir: Jeff Leiberman
Stars: Zalman King, Deborah Winters, Robert Walden, Mark Goddard

BLUE THUNDER
1983
*
An ultra sophisticated helicopter is tried out by LA police.
Flashy thriller with good aerial photography.
Dir: John Badham
Stars: Roy Scheider, Warren Oates, Candy Clark, Malcolm McDowell

BLUE VELVET

1986

**

In a seemingly perfect American town, a boy finds a human ear, which leads him into the dark underbelly of life.

Self-consciously controversial thriller with insufficient story or suspense for its length; it's a nasty piece of work, one that revels in deeply unpleasant scenes that mustn't have been nice to be part of. Critics have lauded it, and of course it has style and verve, but it doesn't add as much to the world of cinema as those critics have claimed.

Dir: David Lynch

Stars: Isabella Rossellini, Kyle MacLachlan, Dennis Hopper, Laura Dern, Hope Lange, Dean Stockwell

BLUEBEARD
1940
*
A Parisian artist strangles the models he has just painted.
Limited chiller that gives its sonorous leading man little room for villainy and fails to build any suspense. Continuous background music is a distraction.
Dir: Edgar G Ulmer
Stars: John Carradine, Jean Parker, Nils Asther

BLUEBEARD

1972

0

A Nazi Austrian aristocrat murders one wife after another.

Weird, flawed horror melodrama with a stiff performance from Burton; his final words, 'It's ridiculous', sum the film up. One of the main problems is the tone, which veers from haughty gothic drama to wannabe kooky comedy (the wife who does nothing but sing a case in point), and it's also way too long. While many of the wives are flipping irritating (especially that singer!) you can't get along with Burton because he's such an aneamic saddo - why kill such loving, beautiful women? Talking of killing, the scenes of animals being shot are grotesque; otherwise, it's quite visually pleasing. Finally, why did they not use real swastikas?

Dir: Edward Dmytryk

Stars: Richard Burton, Joey Heatherton, Raquel Welch, Virna Lisi, Nathalie Delon, Marilou Tolo, Karin Schubert, Agostina Beli, Sybil Danning

BLUEBEARD'S 10 HONEYMOONS
1960
*
Inspired by his gold digger lover, a man kills several women for their money.
It's difficult to say who is the most dumb here: Landru himself (for being taken in by Odette), Landru's lovers (for being taken in by him), or the police, who appear to be nowhere most of the time, but this is entertaining enough and Sanders is generally watchable - though imagine how he must have felt having gone from being directed by Hitchcock to being directed by Billy Wilder's not-as-talented brother. The onscreen title has no apostrophe, which perhaps indicates that this isn't a premium production.
Dir: W Lee Wilder
Stars: George Sanders, Corinne Calvet, Jean Kent, Patricia Roc

THE BLUES BROTHERS
1980
*
Released from prison, two brothers go about reforming their band.
Simple, boisterous chase movie boasting some of the finest road carnage caught on film.
Dir: John Landis
Stars: John Belushi, Dan Aykroyd, James Brown, Carrie Fisher

BLUR: TO THE END

2024

**

Documentary about British pop group Blur reforming to play gigs at Wembley stadium.

Actually the fourth film Blur have made over four decades, this is in part a melancholic experience as it's about middle-aged men trying to reclaim former glories. The purveyors of some great old songs (the new ones not so much), they come across as fairly ordinary blokes who have musical talent, with the not overly likeable Albarn having lost both his voice and his looks, if not his enthusiasm. There are smatterings of vintage clips which are nice to contrast with the revival concerts in places like Eastbourne and Newcastle, before the Wembley showpiece. It's not really uplifting but it is very watchable for those of us whose lifespans roughly match those of the band.

Dir: Toby L

THE BOAT

1921

0

Buster and his family have mishaps on the boat he's just built.

Another of Keaton's man vs machine shorts, this was made in his most fruitful period but doesn't generate as many laughs as his other stuff of this time.

Dir: Edward F Cline, Buster Keaton

Stars: Buster Keaton, Sybil Seely

BOB & CAROL & TED & ALICE

1969

**

A couple who think they are sophisticated attempt to sexually liberate their close friends.

Intriguing snapshot of a particular sort of behaviour, it succeeds because of a perceptive script and a solid cast. Viewed again years after the original viewing, it appears dated partly because its characters seem naive, and that their actions can irritate - they behave in ways that we know are not conducive to the happiness of themselves or wider society. Also, it can seem stagey, with one talky scene after another. Still, it's interesting to see a film from the Sixties that isn't all that into the Sixties.

Dir: Paul Mazursky

Stars: Natalie Wood, Robert Culp, Elliott Gould, Dyan Cannon

BOB ROBERTS
1992
**
A corrupt politician manages to become a senator.
Super satirical comedy with plenty of bite.
Dir: Tim Robbins
Stars: Tim Robbins, Alan Rickman, James Spader

BOBBY

2016

***

Documentary about England's World Cup-winning captain, the great Bobby Moore.

A hagiographic portrayal to be sure - one wonders whether at some point someone will suddenly pipe up 'I didn't like him and didn't think he was a very good footballer' though of course that doesn't happen - but a compelling one, sometimes emotionally affecting as we see Moore's fortunes decline 'after the party' and his sad death from cancer at just 51. He may never have been able to make it as a good manager (if he could have done, why didn't he?) but it's clear he wasn't as well-treated by the FA after '66 than he might have been. Anyway, there's lots of great football footage and an assembly of talking heads that for once doesn't seem forced, or want to make you shout at the screen.

Dir: Ron Scalpello

BOBBY FISCHER AGAINST THE WORLD
2011
**
Documentary about outlandish American chess genius Bobby Fischer.
Interesting stuff, the tale of a brilliant mind that turned on its owner, with the focal point being the 1972 match between Fischer and Spassky. Probably as good as could be expected, with the bonus of some footage that hasn’t been widely shown and interjections from most of the relevant people.
Dir: Liz Garbus

THE BOBO
1967
0
An incompetent bullfighter tries to woo the local belle to get work.
Artificial, unexciting comedy that seems restricted to a limited amount of settings.
Dir: Robert Parrish
Stars: Peter Sellers, Britt Ekland, Hattie Jacques, Rossano Brazzi

BODY BAGS
1994 (TV)
0
Three horror stories: The Gas Station, Hair and The Eye.
Entirely perfunctory tales with very few original ideas.
Dir: John Carpenter, Tobe Hooper
Stars: Robert Carradine, Mark Hamill, Deborah Harry, Wes Craven, Sam Raimi, Roger Corman, Stacy Keach

THE BODY BENEATH
1970
0
A vampire family in North London seek new blood.
By Milligan's standards a decent film (the acting isn't bad and the story's fairly coherent), by anybody else's a truly abysmal load of garbage: with an unbelievable amount of dialogue and zero narrative drive, it's an agonising watch. It was shot in Highgate but could have been shot pretty much anywhere.
Dir: Andy Milligan
Stars: Gavin Reed, Jackie Skarvellis, Berwick Kaler, Colin Gordon

BODY DOUBLE

1984

**

An unemployed actor is drawn into a murder plot.

Silly but enjoyable and sexy thriller which twists its way into near black comedy. De Palma in Hitchcock mode especially echoes both Rear Window and Vertigo in a movie that's almost a guilty pleasure - the silliness includes, but isn't limited to: the woman being allowed to try underwear on in a store, the sudden snogging on the beach, the cop who ignores what he's been told about an assault in a nearby truck, and the whole set-up plot, which could easily have not worked. Still, one can't help but get sucked into its campness and the protagonist's travails, and there are interesting themes explored, such as the ubiquity of pretence.

Dir: Brian De Palma

Stars: Craig Wasson, Melanie Griffith, Gregg Henry, Deborah Shelton, Dennis Franz

BODY HEAT
1981
*
A lawyer has an affair with a married woman and they plot to kill her husband.
Hot-blooded modernisation of a familiar tale; solid adult entertainment.
Dir: Lawrence Kasdan
Stars: William Hurt, Kathleen Turner, Richard Crenna, Ted Danson, Mickey Rourke

BODY MELT
1993
0
A drug makes people hallucinate, mutate and explode.
Gruesome horror which could have done with either a wittier script or more confident, sustained gore sequences.
Dir: Philip Brophy
Stars: Gerard Kennedy, Andrew Daddo, Ian Smith

BODY OF EVIDENCE
1993
0
A lawyer defends a sexually twisted woman accused of murdering an old man.
Sex-mad, thinly characterised thriller, alternating between tiresome court talk and inane hanky panky.
Dir: Uli Edel
Stars: Madonna, Willem Dafoe, Joe Mantegna, Anne Archer, Julianne Moore

BODY OF INFLUENCE
1993
0
A psychiatrist is bothered by a woman with a schizophrenic personality.
Awful flapdoodle with a title designed to make you think Madonna's around.
Dir: Gregory Dark
Stars: Nick Cassavetes, Richard Roundtree, Sandahl Bergman

THE BODY SNATCHER
1945
**
In old Edinburgh, a doctor employs grave robbers to keep him in dead bodies.
An oft filmed horror story is given stylish presentation and strong acting and turns out to be one of Val Lewton's finest chillers.
Dir: Robert Wise
Stars: Boris Karloff, Bela Lugosi, Henry Daniell

BODY SNATCHERS
1993
*
Townfolk are displaced by alien creations.
Fair remake of the sci-fi classic which builds up a good head of paranoia and suspense.
Dir: Abel Ferrara
Stars: Gabrielle Anwar, R Lee Ermey, Forest Whitaker, Meg Tilly

THE BODY STEALERS
1969
0
Parachutists mysteriously disappear while in mid-air.
Cut-price sci-fi, slightly endearing because of its frugality, oddness and unintentional humour, not so endearing due to its dull, talky plot. Apart from the opening, every scene is undramatic, dated and cheap.
Dir: Gerry Levy
Stars: George Sanders, Patrick Allen, Maurice Evans, Robert Flemyng

THE BODY VANISHED

1939

0

A man is murdered, then his corpse disappears.

Archaic mystery with humour, just 46 minutes long.

Dir: Walter Tennyson

Stars: Anthony Hulme, C. Denier Warren, Ernest Sefton

BOF!
1971
0
A father uses his son's wife for sexual purposes.
Dull sex comedy with little of the former and even less of the latter.
Dir: Claude Faraldo
Stars: Marie Dubois, Paul Crauchet

THE BOFORS GUN
1968
*
In Germany in 1954 at a British Army barracks, tensions rise between a bombardier and an angry Irish soldier.
Interesting and unusual if artificial drama in which no one speaks or acts like they would in real life - but that's because it's a certain type of filmed theatre adaptation, and it shows in many ways. It's great for the actors, who throw themselves into it, but sympathy for their characters isn't too strong, especially Williamson's obnoxious, ranty O'Rourke (although the performance is vivid). Also, a thick, wintry atmosphere is successfully conveyed by this intriguing if sometimes heavy going film.
Dir: Jack Gold
Stars: David Warner, Nicol Williamson, Ian Holm, John Thaw, Peter Vaughan

THE BOHEMIAN GIRL
1936
*
Two dopey gypsies are landed with a girl who is a nobleman's daughter.
Laurel and Hardy's final operetta comedy is a patchy affair; it's not that the singing is especially unwelcome but the material is rarely top notch and it looks to have been chopped up a bit in the editing stage. There are several nice, small moments, though.
Dir: James Horne, Charles Rogers
Stars: Stan Laurel, Oliver Hardy, Mae Busch, James Finlayson, Darla Hood

BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY
2018
*
The life of Freddie Mercury from the inception of Queen to Live Aid in 1985.
Shallow biopic that suffered various production problems. It shows, in many ways, including a multitude of inaccuracies, several scenes that are oddly moribund, undeveloped characters and a varying lead performance (he tries hard but is never really Freddie - but then perhaps no one could be). It's a safe retelling of the band's story - the PG-13/12A certificate stems some of its life force - but is generally watchable, and most Queen fans will be in heaven, perhaps not noticing that the film does not have its finger on the pulse of how bands really function. Decent tunes, though.
Dir: Bryan Singer
Stars: Remi Malek, Gwilym Lee, Lucy Boynton, Aidan Gillen

BOILING POINT

2021

***

A chef and his kitchen endure a stressful night in a busy London restaurant.

Anyone who has worked in a restaurant will know this to be a pretty accurate portrayal of what goes on - to the extent that they might wonder why you'd make a film about such mundanity! Impressively shot in one continuous take lasting 90 minutes - the logistics behind it must have been extraordinary - it rarely fails to command the attention and most characters make an impression even if they just have small parts; perhaps it lacks real depth but it is dynamic and authentic, even if a real head chef would never dip his spoon three times into a dish. They filmed it four times before deciding to go with the third cut.

Dir: Philip Barantini

Stars: Stephen Graham, Vinette Robinson, Alice Feetham, Jason Felmyng

BOLERO
1984
0
In 1926, a girl travels the world to lose her virginity.
Vacant trash, and a missed opportunity to boot - surely a film built around one of the world's sexiest women, often naked, should have been less of an endurance?
Dir: John Derek
Stars: Bo Derek, George Kennedy, Olivia d’Abo

BON VOYAGE
1944
**
An RAF man manages to escape from occupied France.
One of Hitch's two shorts made for the war effort (see also Aventure Malgache, qv), and the better of the two: brooding and gripping.
Dir: Alfred Hitchcock
Stars: John Blythe, The Moliere Players

BOND OF FEAR
1956
*
An armed criminal ruins a family’s caravanning holiday.
Adequate second feature, a little silly, with compensations by way of the scenery.
Dir: Henry Cass
Stars: Dermot Walsh, Jane Barrett, John Colicos

BONNIE AND CLYDE
1967
***
In 1930s America, a ruthless pair of gangsters run riot.
Brilliantly made evocation of sleepy small town America shattered by extreme violence.
Dir: Arthur Penn
Stars: Warren Beatty, Faye Dunaway, Gene Hackman, Michael J Pollard, Gene Wilder

BONNIE SCOTLAND
1935
*
Stan and Ollie journey to Scotland to seek their non-existent inheritance.
Variable comedy with a rather large romantic subplot – the best scenes are the ones in the first half hour in Scotland (especially the fish-cooking in the bedroom) but once it gets to India it loses its way and patchily rehashes old ideas with less than satisfying results: this is exemplified by the litter-picking-up sequence, which is a poor relation of a similar one in The Music Box.
Dir: James Horne
Stars: Stan Laurel, Oliver Hardy, June Lang, James Finlayson

THE BOOGEY MAN
1980
*
A girl is terrorised by the ghost of her mother's dead lover.
Silly but fairly original shocker with some well-judged moments of terror.
Dir: Ulli Lommel
Stars: Suzanna Love, John Carradine, Ron James

BOOGEYMAN II
1983
0
A bizarre sequel with a strange story: it originally featured a good deal of footage from the first film, but in 2002 the director made a ‘redux’ version which included even more footage of the 1980 film plus speeded up scenes from the sequel, along with video-shot inserts of Lommel himself pretending events like this really happened. However you view it, it’s still one of the most worthless films ever made.
Dir: Ulli Lommel
Stars: Suzanna Love, John Carradine, Ulli Lommel

BOOGEYMAN
2005
0
A young man returns to the house he grew up, a house full of terrifying apparitions.
Meaningless, plotless, artless junior horror with no hook in reality to make you care about what's happening on screen.
Dir: Stephen T Kay
Stars: Barry Watson, Emily Deschanel, Lucy Lawless

THE BOOGIE MAN WILL GET YOU
1944
0
Mad doctors attempt to create supermen in their laboratories.
There are similarities to Arsenic And Old Lace in this breathless, busily populated horror comedy mainly confined to a few small sets but lifted by Karloff and Lorre, possibly better stars than it deserves. Would anyone really properly laugh at it now?

Dir: Lew Landers
Stars: Boris Karloff, Peter Lorre, Maxie Rosenbloom, Larry Parks

BOOGIE NIGHTS
1997
***
A well-endowed rent boy becomes someone in the porn business.
A familiar tale of showbiz success and excess told with panache, style and vibrancy.
Dir: Paul Thomas Anderson
Stars: Mark Wahlberg, Burt Reynolds, Julianne Moore, Heather Graham, Don Cheadle, Philip Seymour Hoffman, William H Macy, Alfred Molina

BOOK OF BLOOD
2008
0
A paranormal expert meets a student who appears to have supernatural powers.
Dour and wintry horror that’s so humourless it’s almost funny; yet another Clive Barker dud.
Dir: John Harrison
Stars: Jonas Armstrong, Sophie Ward, Clive Russell

BOOKSMART

2019

*

Two best friends - a fat girl and a lesbian - try to have a fantastic night before graduation.

Some of us are probably the wrong sex, the wrong nationality, the wrong age and have the wrong mindset to fully get on board with this feminised comedy, for while it has lusty brio, superior cinematography and a tight script, it can come across as having obnoxious actors, obnoxious music, obnoxious editing, obnoxious attitudes and obnoxious language. Maybe it's just that modern-day California is so deeply unappealing? Yet maybe it's unfair to be so harsh on a film that is well made and confident.

Dir: Olivia Wilde

Stars: Kaitlyn Dever, Beanie Feldstein, Jessica Williams, Jason Sudeikis

DAS BOOT
1981
*
The ordeals of a German U-boat crew in World War Two.
Famously heavy going war drama which conveys the sailors' boredom and terror all too well. The director's cut lasts for days.
Dir: Wolfgang Petersen
Stars: Jurgen Prochnow, Herbert Gronemeyer, Klaus Wennemann

BORAT: CULTURAL LEARNINGS OF AMERICA FOR MAKE BENEFIT GLORIOUS NATION OF KAZAKHSTAN
2006
****
Kazakhstan reporter Borat travels to the USA to study the country but falls in love instead.
One of the more remarkable films of its year, this is the movie of a near-genius, with the humour coming from all sorts of angles and never predictable or over-played. Perhaps certain interviews could go on longer (although the squirm factor might go up to 11), but there are dozens of startling incidents to discuss after it's over, including what was real and what wasn't, and it offers more big laughs than any picture in years. It's also an incredibly valuable snapshot of America in the early 21st century, at its best and worst.
Dir: Larry Charles
Stars: Sacha Baron Cohen, Ken Davitian, Pamela Anderson

BORAT: SUBSEQUENT MOVIEFILM

2020

**

Borat returns to the USA with his daughter, whom he wishes to 'award' to Vice President Pence.

There's so much to say about this sequel, it's difficult to know where to start. The first thing to note is that it's funny, but not a patch on the original. In fact, in many ways it demonstrates how the changing culture has somewhat defanged comedy, not least in the way that Borat isn't quite the pungent character he was and that it gives a good deal of time to a female character instead (it's also the case that Borat's time is limited because his character is so recognisable, so often appears disguised, which is regrettable). It's tricky to say whether its topicality will, in the future, be in its favour or not, what with its coinciding with coronavirus (which gives it a serendipitous, canny wrap-up) and the 2020 US election, and it certainly leaves no doubt where Cohen stands politically which, again, is a shame. It's a patchy movie in various ways, with 'real' scenes mixing with 'fake' ones (which is which, you sometimes wonder), sentiment mixing with satire, and amusing bits mixing with excruciating scenes; so it's anything but an uninteresting moviefilm, although it is definitely way inferior to the first one.

Dir: Jason Woliner

Stars: Sacha Baron Cohen, Maria Bakalova

BORDELLO OF BLOOD
1996
0
Vampires run a brothel hidden underneath a cemetery.
A Tales From The Crypt presentation, but no better for it; a predictable, routine horror with a grating hero.
Dir: Gilbert Adler
Stars: John Kassir, Erika Eleniak, Dennis Miller

BORG VS McENROE
2017
**
The rivalry between tennis stars Bjorn Borg and John McEnroe reaches its zenith in the 1980 Wimbledon final.
Proof that decent films can be made about tennis, this is a solid based-on-real-life tale with more focus on the 'ice cool' Borg - indeed, the (remarkably similar looking) actor's handsome features are endlessly dwelt on by the camera, and the movie's pensive brooding and focus on the players' psychological demons borders on the excessive. It does, though, eventually turn into an old-fashioned, exciting sports drama with a very effectively shot version of the classic 1980 final.
Dir: Janus Metz
Stars: Sverrir Gudnason, Shia LaBeouf, Stellan Skarsgard, Tuva Novotny

BORIS KARLOFF: THE MAN BEHIND THE MONSTER

2021

*

Documentary about one of the greatest horror stars, Boris Karloff, with plenty of footage from his films, interviews with him, and contributions from the likes of Roger Corman, Dick Miller, Guillermo del Torro, Ron Perlman, Christopher Plummer, Joe Dante, John Landis and Peter Bogdanovich.

Possibly as good a film you could make concerning this gentleman, with a pretty comprehensive view of his acting career (with not much personal stuff) and contributors who mostly know their stuff, even if they are unwisely often put on green screen 'Nineties looking' backgrounds, which cheapens things. Karloff comes across as a mighty hard worker and a man of integrity. Recommended for fans of old, scary pictures, it's a fastidious effort.

Dir: Thomas Hamilton

BORLEY RECTORY

2017

0

Documentary about 'the most haunted house in England'.

Clearly something of a labour of love, this low budget film uses special effects and animation that are a little reminiscent of Sin City. It's a bit dull, though - not much of a goer (and how much of it is true?). It finishes with about five minutes of captions too read, which is way too much, and then there are very long end credits that in part list those who contributed funds to make the movie. 

Dir: Ashley Thorpe

Narrator: Julian Sands. Stars: Jonathan Rigby, Reece Shearsmith, Annabel Bates

BORN FREE

1966

***

Naturalists George and Joy Adamson raise three lion cubs in Kenya.

Endearing bask in the sweeter side of nature, a lovely picture with endless animal interest, and those not into animals can buy into its wise theme, that of parents not cosseting their children but instead letting them find their own way in the world, no matter how harsh and unkind that may initially feel. Stupendously shot and briskly paced and developed, it's a treasure, a very human movie.

Dir: James Hill

Stars: Virginia McKenna, Bill Travers, Geoffrey Keen

BORN OF FIRE
1983
0
A flautist attempts to track a 'music master' to Turkey.
Fantasy which tries to be exotic and mystic but is merely incomprehensible and tedious.
Dir: Jamil Dehlavi
Stars: Peter Firth, Suzan Crowley, Stefan Kalipha

BORN ON THE FOURTH OF JULY
1989
***
A marine's Vietnam War experience changes his life outlook.
Searing journey from idealism to reality which gave the star one of his best roles.
Dir: Oliver Stone
Stars: Tom Cruise, Bryan Larkin, Raymond J Barry, Caroline Kava, Tom Berenger, Stephen Baldwin

BORN YESTERDAY
1950
*
A boorish tycoon attempts to have his ditsy blonde girlfriend educated.
This popular adaptation of a popular play never really escapes its theatrical origins, and some of the humour is dated, but Holliday's performance remains luminescent.
Dir: George Cukor
Stars: Judy Holliday, William Holden, Broderick Crawford

BORROWED TIME: LENNON'S LAST DECADE

2025

*

Documentary about John Lennon's final decade, which he largely spent in New York.

Released theatrically in a 2h 20m version, and then given an extra hour for an alternate version on streaming and Blu-ray (the version viewed here) this is the antithesis of the recent One To One Lennon documentary, which had no talking heads: this has virtually nothing but - mostly older men who lengthily ramble on (the worst of which is the TV producer who was in hospital the night Lennon was taken there); there is a little archive footage too. While there's no doubting the sincerity of the project, it's not stirring viewing, despite a few scoops, the main one being about the ex-Beatle's planned 1981 international tour, because it's unambitious and plain in its presentation, with not a chord of Lennon's music of course. It assumes the viewer knows the story already so, for example, we aren't even told about Sean being born in 1975. It's nice to see the likes of Ray Connolly, Andy Peebles and Bob Harris but, in the end, there are just too many people, as a Paul McCartney song title had it.

Dir: Alan G Parker

THE BOTHERSOME MAN
2006
**
A man mysteriously arrives in a city where all is clean, peaceful and prosperous but he soon craves to escape.
Attractive satire on the perceived banality of modern-day existence with a nice line in humour and quirky observation; it can’t quite deliver a knockout punch but is pleasing to the eye and holds the viewer because it’s never obvious what will happen next.
Dir: Jens Lien
Stars: Trond Fausa Aurvag, Petronella Barker, Per Schaaning

LE BOUCHER
1969
**
At the same time as a series of grisly murders in a small French village, a butcher strikes up a friendship with a headmistress.
Thought-provoking, dark character study - it should not be termed a thriller - that takes place in a memorably idyllic, sunny location; the on-screen action is sparse, leaving the audience to do the pondering, and this approach generally rewards the reflective viewer.
Dir: Claude Chabrol
Stars: Stephane Audran, Jean Yanne, Antonio Passalia

BOUDU SAVED FROM DROWNING
1932
**
A bookseller saves a tramp from drowning and then has to put up with him living in his house.
The dialogue is crisp and the shooting fresh and airy, but a film that is French and 80 years old inevitably loses much of its edge, relevance and perspicacity.
Dir: Jean Renoir
Stars: Michel Simon, Marcelle Haina, Severine Lerczinska

BOUND
1996
***
With the assistance of an ex-con lesbian, a woman plans to rob her gangster husband.
Gripping, twisting Hitchcockian thriller which gives the appearance of a tight, violent stage play.
Dir: Andy Wachowski, Larry Wachowski
Stars: Jennifer Tilly, Gina Gershon, Joe Pantoliano

BOUND FOR GLORY
1976
**
Folk singer Larry Guthrie establishes himself in music.
The place and period are created perfectly - perhaps too perfectly - and the film is thick with atmosphere; Guthrie's story is of some interest too, but the slow pace may put some off. Carradine's singing and playing is impressive even if most of the songs are hardly up to Dylan or Cash's standards.
Dir: Hal Ashby
Stars: David Carradine, Ronny Cox, Melinda Dillon, Gail Strickland

THE BOUNTY

1984

*

A ship's crew rebels against the harsh captain.

Another version of Mutiny On The Bounty that appears not able to completely take the side of either Christian or Bligh - perhaps that's fair enough, but it makes the drama not quite as incisive as it could be. And maybe there's too much stuff either side of the mutiny - the schmoozing with the island girls beforehand, the two ships going their separate ways afterwards; the flashback structure also makes it distinct from its predecessors, which remain much preferable, despite the fact that this is a decent, solid production with a very impressive cast.

Dir: Roger Donaldson

Stars: Anthony Hopkins, Mel Gibson, Daniel Day-Lewis, Laurence Olivier, Edward Fox, Liam Neeson, Phil Davis

BOUNTY KILLER
2013
0
In a future ruined by corporations, various bounty hunters roam the land.
A film it's difficult to have a strong opinion about: it's okay if you like Mad Max-type stuff and some of the violence is inventively choreographed. But it's a struggle to care about what goes on.
Dir: Henry Saine
Stars: Christian Pitre, Matthew Marsden, Kristanna Loken

THE BOURNE IDENTITY
2002
*
A man who has been shot awakes on a fishing vessel with no idea of who he is or how he got there.
The first in the series now looks a little less dynamic than its successors but is still a pretty good chase thriller, especially in the first two thirds.
Dir: Doug Liman
Stars: Matt Damon, Franka Potente, Chris Cooper, Clive Owen, Brian Cox

THE BOURNE SUPREMACY
2004
**
Jason Bourne goes on the run after he is framed for murder.
Proficient sequel that flits between exciting (if sometimes hard to follow) action and moody secret service ruminations. Damon makes a fine lead.
Dir: Paul Greengrass
Stars: Matt Damon, Franka Potente, Brian Cox, Julia Stiles, Karl Urban

THE BOURNE ULTIMATUM
2007
**
Secret agent Jason Bourne attempts to discover his true identity.
Sturdy threequel which offers jerkily shot set pieces and ingenious details in a scenario that’s bereft of humour and strong on paranoia.
Dir: Paul Greengrass
Stars: Matt Damon, Julia Stiles, David Straitharn, Scott Glenn, Paddy Considine, Albert Finney

BOWERY AT MIDNIGHT
1942
0
A psychology professor also works at a mission, where he gets down-on-their-luck criminals to do work for him.
Certainly by no means the worst of Lugosi, a busy crime drama (with odd horror touches) that may not make much sense but passes an hour painlessly enough. Bela’s fun to watch, as ever, doing his usual schtick.
Dir: Wallace Fox
Stars: Bela Lugosi, John Archer, Wanda McKay

BOWFINGER
1999
*
A cheapo film producer shoots a star on the sly to make a movie.
Comedy with a clever central idea that could have been developed more.
Dir: Frank Oz
Stars: Steve Martin, Eddie Murphy, Heather Graham, Terence Stamp, Robert Downey Jr

BOWLING FOR COLUMBINE
2002
**
Documentary examining why America has so much gun crime.
Compelling if manipulative propaganda which fails to reach any definite answers, possibly because the chosen evidence is so selective.
Dir/Narrator: Michael Moore

THE BOX

2009

0

A couple are presented with a dilemma: press the button on a box and they will get a million dollars, but someone, somewhere dies.

Sounds like an intriguing plot a la The Twilight Zone, right? Wrong. Well, not at nearly two hours and adorned by all manner of other stuff that only confuses and enervates things (and Diaz's annoying accent). File under 'wasted opportunity', and the CGI job on Langelia's face 'insulting'.

Dir: Richard Kelly

Stars: Cameron Diaz, James Marsden, Frank Langelia

BOXING HELENA
1993
0
A surgeon cuts the arms and legs off a woman he is obsessed with.
Truly terrible, abysmally performed, unbelievable and unsympathetic nonsense which even has a cop-out ending.
Dir: Jennifer Chambers Lynch
Stars: Julian Sands, Sherilyn Fenn, Bill Paxton, Art Garfunkel

A BOY, A GIRL AND A BIKE
1949
*
Young cyclists compete in a race, but a thief is around.
Simple, pleasing relic of a bygone era with plenty of footage of lovely Yorkshire countryside - shame it's not in colour.
Dir: Ralph Smart
Stars: John McCallum, Honor Blackman, Patrick Holt, Diana Dors, Maurice Denham, Anthony Newley

A BOY AND HIS DOG
1975
*
After World War 4, a boy searches for food and sex with his telepathic dog.
Gritty sci-fi which gained a cult following; the macabre twist at the end is pretty funny.
Dir: L Q Jones
Stars: Don Johnson, Susanne Benton, Jason Robards

THE BOY FRIEND
1971
*
When the leading lady breaks a leg, an inexperienced stage-hand takes her part in a local theatre production of The Boy Friend.
An extremely flawed film but one not without interest: Twiggy makes a faintly adorable lead, especially when those amazing eyes light up the screen, some numbers are pleasingly exuberant and the framing device is quite novel, but it’s oh so long – no wonder several scenes were excised for the US – and much of the camerawork is static. This musical is probably best seen in a live theatre production, but if the intent is to view this movie, ensure you at least see it in the correct ratio.
Dir: Ken Russell
Stars: Twiggy, Christopher Gable, Max Adrian, Bryan Pringle, Murray Melvin, Georgina Hale, Brian Murphy, Barbara Windsor, Glenda Jackson

BOY SLAVES

1939

*

A gang of lads often in trouble with the law end up in a camp where they're used as slaves.

This lot are like the Dead End Kids or the Bowery Boys, given the bad end of the stick in the Depression era but kicking back. What we have is a compact tale, occasionally giving way to melodrama and sentiment, but with a plucky spirit and a raw feel that suits the material.

Dir: PJ Wolfson

Stars: Roger Daniel, Anne Shirley, James McCallion, Alan Baxter

THE BOY WHO TURNED YELLOW
1972
0
Several hundred people in London, including one particular schoolboy, suddenly turn completely yellow.
Powell and Pressburger's final film together is a strange CFF production which mixes wild fantasy and educational nuggets, chiefly about electricity. It may be a long way from their earlier triumphs but a few scenes, including the one on the Tube train which turns yellow, have real visual panache.
Dir: Michael Powell
Stars: Mark Dightam, Robert Eddison, Helen Weir

THE BOY WITH GREEN HAIR
1948
0
A boy whose hair suddenly changes colour becomes an outcast in a small town.
The Boy With The Permanent Mardy Strop, more like it: and partly because of this, and partly because of its annoying do-goodery, it's a trial, although there are nice visual touches, like when the children from the poster come to life.
Dir: Joseph Losey
Stars: Dean Stockwell, Pat O'Brien, Robert Ryan

BOYHOOD
2014
****
A Texan boy's life from 5 to 18, including his relationship with his separated parents.
A remarkable achievement in cinema: the director returned to shoot the actors once a year for 12 years and then cut it into a 165-minute film, one which gives the viewer perhaps the purest distillation of life ever put on the screen. There's really nothing else like it, a movie of preternatural perfection that chiefly maps the arcs of three people while saying much about existence by not saying anything in obtrusive fashion, just through subtle indicators and clever asides - sometimes what it doesn't show adds to its qualities. While it has a relaxed style it is also completely engaging and sometimes emotionally affecting. The first part of the 21st century is nimbly chronicled (with changing technology, brief references to Obama, the Iraq War and the like) and the pain and pleasure of growing up is caught in succinct vignettes, but the main strength of this classic is its utilisation of the imperious art form of cinema at its most majestic.
Dir: Richard Linklater
Stars: Ellar Coltrane, Patricia Arquette, Ethan Hawke, Lorelei Linklater

BOYS AND GIRLS TOGETHER
1979
0
Sexual happenings in a multi-racial, six-room block of Hampstead flats.
Ahead of its time in some ways it may be, but this is still an amateurish slab of dreariness, with the most unattractive people ever to feature in a flesh film.
Dir: Ralph Lawrence Marsden
Stars: Helen FitzGerald, Roger Furse

THE BOYS FROM BRAZIL
1978
**
A renegade Nazi in hiding has a plot to conquer the world.
Audacious thriller with some thrilling sequences and excellent performances. The film is a lot less detailed than the book, and therefore slightly less involving, but Peck's juicy rendition of Josef Mengele is the main thing that keeps it going - and those Dobermans always provide a frisson.
Dir: Franklin Schaffner
Stars: Gregory Peck, Laurence Olivier, James Mason, Lilli Palmer, Steve Guttenberg, Denholm Elliott

THE BOYS IN BLUE
1982
0
A pair of incompetent policemen are fooled into helping some villains.
Egregious reworking of Ask A Policeman (qv) for a talent-free comedy team who do little but stand around in scene after scene having long and witless conversations. Some of their sequences are so lame it's unbelievable; the film is a sorry full stop to this director's career.
Dir: Val Guest
Stars: Bobby Ball, Tommy Cannon, Suzanne Danielle, Roy Kinnear, Eric Sykes, Jon Pertwee, Jack Douglas

BOYS TOWN
1938
*
A Catholic priest builds a town exclusively for young boys who have done wrong.
Now that we have knowledge of what the Catholic Church got up to in the 20th century, the synopsis elicits either a snigger or a reaction of horror, but this popular-in-its-day drama is dated for a variety of reasons, including its near utopian vision of a place where 'there's no such thing as a bad boy' (yes, it was based on a true story, but this is a very softened version of the truth) and Rooney's irritating overacting. Syrupy and simplistic, it's still a decent tale with good production values.
Dir: Norman Taurog
Stars: Spencer Tracy, Mickey Rooney, Henry Hull, Leslie Fenton

BOYS WILL BE BOYS
1935
*
An incompetent headmaster foils a diamond theft.
The first time Hay appeared in his schoolmaster role, and so not quite as polished as later vehicles.
Dir: William Beaudine
Stars: Will Hay, Gordon Harker, Jimmy Hanley

BOYZ N THE HOOD
1991
**
Black boys grow up in a climate of violence.
One of the first films to open eyes to what actually happens in the black ghettos, where life is blighted before it begins. Powerful stuff, convincingly performed.
Dir: John Singleton
Stars: Laurence Fishburne, Cuba Gooding Jr, Ice Cube

THE BRADY BUNCH MOVIE
1995
***
The 1970s family face trouble from 1990s property developers.
Clever reprise of the wholesome family sitcom, the twist being that they haven't moved with the times or into the real world; it makes for witty and generally delightful entertainment, with bright performances and direction.
Dir: Betty Thomas
Stars: Shelley Long, Gary Cole, Michael McKean, Christine Taylor, Jean Smart

BRAIN DAMAGE
1987
0
A little creature gives a boy hallucinations if he lets it eat people's brains.
Knowingly absurd shocker with an affinity to this director's Basket Case, actually quite distressing in its gruesome, pointless detail.
Dir: Frank Henenlotter
Stars: Rick Hearst, Gordon MacDonald

THE BRAIN EATERS
1958
0
Aliens turn people mad by taking over their brains.
Cheap and forgettable B-movie.
Dir: Bruno Ve Sota
Stars: Ed Nelson, Alan Frost, Leonard Nimoy

THE BRAIN FROM PLANET AROUS
1958
0
A scientist is taken over by an aggressive alien brain.
Hysterically bad, wildly enjoyable sci-fi. (Steve may later encounter problems explaining his behaviour to world ambassadors.)
Dir: Nathan Juran
Stars: John Agar, Joyce Meadows, Robert Fuller

THE BRAIN MACHINE
1955
0
Thanks to a new machine, a doctor believes that one of her patients will go on to be a psychopathic killer.
Colourless (literally and figuratively) crime drama with a tiny bit of sci-fi trimming courtesy of the eponymous machine; it's short on humour but long on scenes that don't excite.
Dir: Ken Hughes
Stars: Patrick Barr, Elizabeth Allan, Maxwell Reed

THE BRAIN THAT WOULDN'T DIE

1962

0

After she is severely injured in a car crash, a woman's head is kept alive while her doctor boyfriend goes out to look for a new body for her.

Gloriously trashy trash which would have been even sleazier were it made a decade later; as it is, it has a few crazy surprises among its long sequences of the doctor going after and chatting up ladies to be part of his plan. All the characters are quite grim. The sort of thing that's perfect for a late-night double or triple horror on TV, as Talking Pictures TV's Cellar Club proved.

Dir: Joseph Green

Stars: Jason Evers, Virginia Leith, Anthony La Penna

BRAINDEAD
1991
**
A rare monkey bites a woman who turns into a repulsive zombie.
The ultimate in gore and dismemberment, a highly inventive, gutsy farce which makes The Evil Dead look like Watch With Mother.
Dir: Peter Jackson
Stars: Timothy Balme, Elizabeth Moody

BRAINWAVES
1982
0
A woman injured in a car accident gets a 'new' brain, but it appears to be the brain of a woman who has been murdered; she seeks revenge.
Largely conventional sci-fi enhanced by some nicely suspenseful sequences.
Dir: Ulli Lommel
Stars: Keir Dullea, Suzanna Love, Vera Miles, Tony Curtis

BRAM STOKER’S DRACULA
1993
**
Count Dracula falls in love with a woman he believes is the reincarnation of his dead wife.
Coppola's expensive interpretation looks plush – from the incredible cinematography to the lavish costumes to the imaginative flourishes that frequently adorn it - but suffers from miscasting (chiefly Reeves) and slightly uneven pacing, particularly in the second half. But when so much care has been bestowed on a movie project it’s tempting to forgive.
Dir: Francis Ford Coppola
Stars: Gary Oldman, Winona Ryder, Anthony Hopkins, Keanu Reeves, Sadie Frost

LES BRANCHES A SAINT-TROPEZ

1983

0

Two couples head to the Cote d'Azur for a holiday, but things go wrong.

Nice place, shame about the movie. Neither funny nor interesting, its main worth is to dirty mac historians to confirm that topless sunbathing was the default option in France around that time. There were two sequels. 

Dir: Max Pecas

Stars: Olivia Dutron, Xavier Deluc, Yves Thuillier

THE BRAND NEW TESTAMENT
2015
**
Fed up of her old man's ways, God's daughter comes to Earth and causes chaos by letting everyone know when they will die.
Blissfully blasphemous fantasy that, with plenty of dark wit, tells a story of human beings and their desperation; the pace is unhurried and it won't be everybody's cup of tea, but its eccentricity is to be applauded.
Dir: Jaco Van Dormael
Stars: Pili Groyne, Benoit Poelvoorde, Catherine Deneuve, Francois Damiens

BRANDY FOR THE PARSON

1952

0

A couple get involved with an alcohol smuggler.

Underwhelming comedy without a great deal to laugh at; a long way from the best Ealing comedies, which it vaguely resembles.

Dir: John Eldridge

Stars: James Donald, Kenneth More, Jean Lodge, Charles Hawtrey

BRATS
1930
*
Stan and Ollie have trouble babysitting their own mischievous children.
Unusual short in which Laurel and Hardy play themselves and their children, thereby creating, in effect, two levels of knockabout humour, both fairly funny - but it couldn't be stretched for a minute longer.
Dir: James Parrot
Stars: Stan Laurel, Oliver Hardy

BRAVEHEART
1995
***
In the 13th century, Scot William Wallace fiercely rebels against English rule.
Hilariously anti-English and historically inaccurate it may be, but as a piece of costume drama this Oscar winner is compellingly crafted, and the battle scenes are among the best ever filmed.
Dir: Mel Gibson
Stars: Mel Gibson, Patrick McGoohan, Sophie Marceau, Brian Cox

BRAZIL
1985
**
In a dystopian future, an agent is assigned to kill the girl he loves.
Ambitious but overpowering fantasy distinguished by its visuals as opposed to its story, which rarely manages to fully engage. A messy work very typical of its director, its reputation as a film that was 'rescued' from the interference of big bad studio bosses has probably unjustifiably given it extra marks from trendy critics. But some of the imagery is fantastic.
Dir: Terry Gilliam
Stars: Jonathan Pryce, Robert De Niro, Ian Holm, Bob Hoskins, Michael Palin, Ian Richardson, Peter Vaughan, Jim Broadbent

BREAD
1971
0
Hippies stage a rock festival in the grounds of a mansion they are squatting in.
A curious mess of a film that sank into obscurity for nearly 40 years – it plays like a juvenile ‘let’s put a show on’ picture but with little bits of swearing and nudity. In any case, it’s very slight and the music is awful, although it has acquired some period charm.
Dir: Stanley Long
Stars: Nigel Anthony, Peter Marinker, Dick Haydon

BREAKFAST AT TIFFANY’S
1961
**
A popular but insecure New York society girl is taught about love from a man in her apartment block.
Quite a strange little film: the original novella has been so de-sexed you’d struggle to realise that the two leads are a prostitute and a gigolo, and what goes on is airy, cute and elegantly frozen. There are some pleasures (including the music and cinematography), and it builds towards a memorable climax, but there’s something annoying and off-putting about the enterprise, which is also exceedingly guilty of glamorising smoking.
Dir: Blake Edwards
Stars: Audrey Hepburn, George Peppard, Patricia Neal, Buddy Ebsen, Martin Balsam, Mickey Rooney

THE BREAKFAST CLUB

1985

0

Five students do detention on a Saturday.

Obnoxious teen drama that somehow gained a big following - a definition of purgatory would be being stuck in a room for hours with this lot (especially the loathsome Nelson). Which is what we have. No wonder the trite script only took two days to write, and there are no compensations on the cinematic front.

Dir: John Hughes

Stars: Emilio Estevez, Judd Nelson, Molly Ringwald, Ally Sheedy, Anthony Michael Hall

BREAKFAST IN BED
1990
0
A redundant film star opens up a romantic holiday hotel.
A slightly over-the-hill sex movie star presides over this erotic comedy which isn't among the cinema's masterworks.
Dir: Ernest G Sauer
Stars: Marilyn Chambers, Michael Rose, Mark Stolzenberg

BREAKING AWAY
1979
*
A young man trains to be a cyclist while having problems with his dad and would-be girlfriend.
Good-natured coming-of-age drama, like a more intelligent high school movie or a less clichéd sport story; there's nothing that's hugely remarkable about it but it's generally watchable and will mean a lot to some.
Dir: Peter Yates
Stars: Dennis Christopher, Dennis Quaid, Daniel Stern, Jackie Earle Haley

THE BREAKING POINT
1961
*
A man with money troubles gets involved with international criminals.
Silly but likeable second feature which moves at a fair clip and offers pleasing views of London streets (traffic-light compared to today) and Gatwick Airport (ditto).
Dir: Lance Comfort
Stars: Peter Reynolds, Dermot Walsh, Joanna Dunham

BREAKING POINT
1975
*
A normal office worker is a rapist in his spare time.
One of the more bleak and unsettling films ever made, this is a grim, sexually explicit existential drama by a director who worked with Ingmar Bergman. Short on dialogue, strong on wintry Swedish atmosphere, it will appeal to very few but does have a strange, almost hypnotic quality to it.
Dir: Bo Arne Vibenius
Stars: Andreas Bellis, Barbara Scott, Jane McIntosch

BREAKING THE WAVES
1996
****
A virginal, slightly disturbed woman marries an outsider to the disapproval of her Scottish coastal community.
Stunning rumination on the nature of love, God and sacrifice, this brilliantly made drama constantly builds in power until its unforgettable conclusion.
Dir: Lars von Trier
Stars: Emily Watson, Stellan Starsgard, Katrin Cartlidge, Udo Kier

BREAKOUT
1959
*
A fraudster pays for his breakout of prison to be organised.
No-frills quickie melodrama showcasing all the merits of efficient British small-time production houses; tightly controlled and eventually suspenseful, it may well have been a better watch than the main feature it supported. It can be found as an extra on an Edgar Wallace Mysteries DVD.
Dir: Peter Scott
Stars: Lee Patterson, Hazel Court, Terence Alexander, William Lucas

BREEDERS
1986
*
An alien inseminates virgins to build a super-race.
Daft but not dull sexy horror that flips between one sketchily-developed character and another - usually getting raped.
Dir: Tim Kincaid
Stars: Teresa Farley, Lance Lewman, Frances Raines

BREWSTER’S MILLIONS
1945
**
A GI is given a month to spend a million dollars in order to win millions more.
The fourth of five versions (so far) of this tale, and a pretty reliable entertainment.
Dir: Allan Dwan
Stars: Dennis O’Keefe, Helen Walker, June Havoc

BREWSTER’S MILLIONS
1985
*
Frenetic remake, with the cash sums upped once again; passable enough.
Dir: Walter Hill
Stars: Richard Pryor, John Candy, Hume Cronyn

BREXIT THE MOVIE
2016
**
Documentary making the case for Britain to vote Leave in the EU Referendum of June 2016.
A convincing and highly watchable film that draws on a variety of cerebral sources to make its case; a director's cut at twice the length would also be a good thing.
Dir: Martin Durkin

BRIAN AND CHARLES

2022

**

A lonely man in a windswept part of rural Wales builds a robot that becomes sentient.

Oddly likeable fantasy comedy, an extension of a short, that's winningly performed - Earl is likeable as the disconnected, ever-hopeful inventor, while the character of Charles is unusual and unpredictable. Conforming to a classic story structure, it has bits of Mike Leigh, maybe even touches of superb sitcom One Foot In The Grave, and is not anodyne: the villains of the piece really are pretty nasty, and give the plot impetus in the film's latter half. In all, an eccentric British near-gem that is a well photographed mixture of the cosy and the depressing.

Dir: Jim Archer

Stars: David Earl, Chris Hayward, Louise Brealey, Jamie Michie

THE BRIDE
1985
*
Dr Frankenstein creates a mate for his monster.
Tolerable revamp of Bride Of Frankenstein, occasionally poignant, quirkily cast. The scenes with Brown and Rappaport are by far the best ones.
Dir: Franc Roddam
Stars: Sting, Jennifer Beals, Clancy Brown, David Rappaport, Geraldine Page, Alexi Sayle, Phil Daniels, Timothy Spall, Quentin Crisp

BRIDE OF CHUCKY
1998
*
Killer doll Chucky is reanimated by a woman who was his lover when he was a man.
Fourth in the Child's Play series tries a slightly different approach, with some offbeat humour and in-jokes; it turns into a road movie but still feels a little confined, although some inventive kills and naughtiness from the dolls keep it afloat. The opening minutes manage to reference other franchises like Nightmare On Elm Street, Halloween and Friday The 13th.
Dir: Ronny Yu
Stars: Jennifer Tilly, Brad Dourif, Katherine Heigl

BRIDE OF FRANKENSTEIN
1935
****
Dr Praetorious blackmails Frankenstein into reviving his monster and making a mate for it.
Masterful sequel to the one of the most influential monster movies, beautifully directed and performed (all the main characters are delightfully odd); it's a ripe, fully rounded cinematic experience with many surprises. Film historian Scott MacQueen's commentary is well worth listening to and deepens appreciation.
Dir: James Whale
Stars: Boris Karloff, Colin Clive, Valerie Hobson, Ernest Thesiger, Elsa Lanchester, Dwight Frye, Una O’Connor

BRIDE OF RE-ANIMATOR
1989
0
Mad Dr Herbert West continues his experiments, including bringing a dead woman back to life.
Sequel that can’t reproduce the cheeky wink of the first despite upping the wackiness factor - the director said that the idea was to 'throw a bowl of pasta at the wall and see what sticks', and it shows: it's a bit of a slapdash mess, and an underwritten one at that. The cast do their best to ham it up but they get little help from the script and Udenio is no replacement for Crampton; it's really a movie belonging to the behind-the-scenes special effects folk.
Dir: Brian Yuzna
Stars: Jeffrey Combs, Bruce Abbott, Fabiana Udenio, Claude Earl Jones

BRIDE OF THE MONSTER
1956
0
A mad scientist attempts to create a race of supermen.
With expectations at rock bottom, this Ed Wood-directed horror doesn’t turn out to be quite as horrendous as you think it might be; indeed, its main crime is that much of it is hopelessly dull, although the inanimate plastic octopus produces a guffaw or two.
Dir: Edward D Wood Jr
Stars: Bela Lugosi, Tor Johnson, Tony McCoy, Loretta King

THE BRIDES OF DRACULA
1960
*
In Transylvania, vampiric Baron Meinster has designs on a young schoolmistress.
Considered to be among Hammer's best Dracula films (even though Dracula's not actually in it), this now looks rather slow and stagey, with big plot holes to boot.
Dir: Terence Fisher
Stars: Peter Cushing, David Peel, Yvonne Monlaur, Martita Hunt

THE BRIDES OF FU MANCHU

1966

*

Fu Manchu kidnaps a dozen scientists’ daughters.

Reasonably lively follow-up to The Face Of Fu Manchu (qv), not badly done but nothing remarkable; the physical action is a bit lame, partly redeemed by the period look, which is splashed with fantasy.

Dir: Don Sharp

Stars: Christopher Lee, Douglas Wilmer, Howard Marion-Crawford, Burt Kwouk

THE BRIDGE
2006
*
Documentary featuring footage of suicides from the Golden Gate Bridge and interviews with family and friends left behind.
A film with slightly dubious motives that fails to explain what is in people's heads when they kill themselves. The audience (us) can only look on like voyeurs. It's curious to see so many of the interviewees profess a genuine belief in God.
Dir: Eric Steel

BRIDGE OF SPIES
2015
*
During the Cold War, a lawyer is instrumental in the exchange of a Russian spy and two Americans.
For a supposedly great director, Steven Spielberg makes a lot of fairly average films: while boasting excellent production values, this has a surprisingly conventional plotline that doesn't generate any suspense or tension, and even Rylance's much vaunted performance seems to be one of an actor half asleep. Of course there's (slightly misguided) intelligence at work, but this isn't exactly a heart-stopper.
Dir: Steven Spielberg
Stars: Tom Hanks, Mark Rylance, Alan Alda, Amy Ryan

THE BRIDGE ON THE RIVER KWAI
1957
****
British prisoners of war build a bridge for the Japanese while other Allied soldiers plan to destroy it.
Entrancing treatise on the perversions of war and one man's inner struggle to do what he thinks right. The audience is submerged both in the sweaty locations and the characters' epic quandaries, culminating in a nail-biting, brilliantly orchestrated final act. Surely Lean's most complete picture, it's a masterpiece of acting, photography, score and editing.
Dir: David Lean
Stars: William Holden, Alec Guinness, Jack Hawkins, Sessue Hayakawa, James Donald

BRIDGE TO TERABITHIA
2007
*
Two children with unhappy lives find solace in a mysterious wood.
Nicely done tale of escape from pre-puberty tribulations, this drama astutely uses fantastic elements to furnish its story, one which may be valuable to children of a certain age - although they could find some elements of it upsetting. But that's life, kids.
Dir: Gabor Csupo
Stars: Josh Hutcherson, AnnaSophia Robb, Zooey Deschanel, Robert Patrick

A BRIDGE TOO FAR
1977
*
The story of the Allied defeat at Arnhem in 1944.
All-star war spectacular on a massive scale and no better or clearer for it. As one wag commented, 'A film too long'.
Dir: Richard Attenborough
Stars: Dirk Bogarde, James Caan, Michael Caine, Sean Connery, Edward Fox, Elliott Gould, Gene Hackman, Anthony Hopkins, Ryan O’Neal, Laurence Olivier, Robert Redford, Maximilian Schell, Liv Ullmann, Denholm Elliott

BRIDGET JONES’S DIARY
2001
*
A frumpy thirtysomething somehow captures the attention of two dashing men.
Mildly amusing, highly contrived comedy aimed squarely (some might say cynically) at a certain type of female audience. Not thrilling for others despite a bright start.
Dir: Sharon Maguire
Stars: Renee Zellweger, Colin Firth, Hugh Grant, Jim Broadbent

BRIEF ENCOUNTER

1945

***

A man and a woman, both married to others, secretly meet for several weeks after an encounter at a railway station.

Noel Coward's simple one-act play is given classy cinematic treatment and becomes a masterpiece of restrained drama about hidden sexual feelings, and as English as a film could be - it says a good deal about the stoicism of our race, while the railway footage also shows an orderly, vanished Britain. Its believable story can't help but emotionally connect on a deep level, and the acting is pitch-perfect.

Dir: David Lean

Stars: Celia Johnson, Trevor Howard, Stanley Holloway, Joyce Carey, Cyril Raymond

BRIGADOON
1954
0
American tourists come across a village that only awakens every hundred years.
Static and artificial musical with undistinguished tunes.
Dir: Vincente Minnelli
Stars: Gene Kelly, Van Johnson, Cyd Charisse

THE BRIGAND OF KANDAHAR
1965
0
In the days of the Empire, a half-caste soldier is wrongly accused of dereliction of duty.
Average Hammer period yarn with a script that never really distinguishes itself and is mainly confined to very small sets – the battle scenes, which were from 1956's Zarak, are welcome when they arrive, although there’s little strong reason to support either side. The two leads are possibly miscast, also.
Dir: John Gilling
Stars: Ronald Lewis, Oliver Reed, Duncan Lamont, Yvonne Romain

BRIGHTON ROCK
1948
****
A teenage gangster murders a man who has betrayed his gang and is forced to go to great lengths to cover his crime.
Tremendous thriller that has only improved with age – Attenborough’s commanding central performance is complemented by dark, edgy photography that emphasises the sinister nature of the goings on in this bright town, and the supporting cast are uniformly excellent. Atmospheric, intelligent and taut, it can be regarded as the moment when British cinema properly grew up (it's a shame it's not better known outside the UK).
Dir: John Boulting
Stars: Richard Attenborough, Hermione Baddeley, Carol Marsh, William Hartnell, Nigel Stock, Wylie Watson, Harcourt Williams

BRIMSTONE & TREACLE
1982
*
A strange young man works his way into the house of a couple and their mute daughter.
Film version of a play made and banned by the BBC, with variable acting but a suitably sinister atmosphere.
Dir: Richard Loncraine
Stars: Sting, Denholm Elliott, Joan Plowright, Suzanna Hamilton

BRING ME THE HEAD OF ALFREDO GARCIA
1974
**
A wealthy Mexican offers a million dollars for the head of a man who seduced his daughter.
Compelling, bloody thriller with an authentic Mexican setting - you can almost taste the tequila.
Dir: Sam Peckinpah
Stars: Warren Oates, Gig Young, Kris Kristofferson

BRINGING OUT THE DEAD

1999

**

A night-time ambulance worker loses his mind.

A journey into hell, set in apparently one of the most advanced nations on Earth, that makes one despair at the frailty of the human condition and our propensity to self-destruct; its form means little plot and no sympathetic characters - the director's panache and control of what must have been a very difficult shoot turns it into cinema that isn't easily brushed aside. Cage is strong in a strong cast.

Dir: Martin Scorsese

Stars: Nicolas Cage, Patricia Arquette, John Goodman, Ving Rhames

BRINGING UP BABY
1938
****
A dinosaur expert gets mixed up with a crazy woman and a leopard.
Priceless comedy which never stops being a delight; a joy from start to finish.
Dir: Howard Hawks
Stars: Cary Grant, Katharine Hepburn, Charles Ruggles

BRITANNIA HOSPITAL
1982
0
A royal visit to a hospital is disrupted by strikers and a mad scientist.
Unattractive, unsubtle satire that will find few sympathisers.
Dir: Lindsay Anderson
Stars: Leonard Rossiter, Fulton Mackay, Peter Jeffrey, Robin Askwith

BRITISH INTELLIGENCE
1940
*
A female German spy is given the job of uncovering the identity of another German spy in London.
Busy, bustling thriller set in WW1 but really about WW2, it fits a fair bit into an hour, including a lot of double and even triple agents (it has a strongly paranoid air); Karloff is suitably villainous.
Dir: Terry Morse
Stars: Boris Karloff, Margaret Lindsay, Bruce Lester, Holmes Herbert

BRITISH ROCK

1980

**

Documentary about British music in the late 1970s, featuring live footage of such acts as the Boomtown Rats, Madness, The Clash, Secret Affair, The Specials, The Jam, The Police and The Pretenders.

A follow-up to Punk In London (qv), also known as Punk And Its Aftershocks and Punk In England, that like its predecessor is a bit raggedy in presentation but features so many terrific groups (how can you go wrong with the above line-up?) performing such exciting numbers that you still feel great affection for it (The Police are the only act whose slot is dullish). It makes you wish you were there, and could stay there forever, eternally young. 

Dir: Wolfgang Buld

BROADCAST NEWS
1987
*
A love triangle rages behind the scenes of a TV station's news programme.
A little bit satire, a little bit romantic drama, a little bit something else, this is a film very typical of its creator: Brooks' familiar touches include the use of snatches of cheesy music on the soundtrack which, as ever, threaten to take it into TV movie territory but, as ever, he somehow gets away with it. You'll enjoy if you can tune into the characters.
Dir: James L Brooks
Stars: William Hurt, Albert Brooks, Holly Hunter, Jack Nicholson

BROADWAY DANNY ROSE

1984

**

A New York talent scout gets involved with a brassy blonde and her gangster friends.

Allen here continued to grow as a craftsman even if this comedy could be said to be quite low key - it may be 'small', but good things come in small packages. Not only is all the technical stuff easily up to snuff - the lovely black and white cinematography, the at-ease, genuine performances, a script that matches wit with a fun plot - but there is much warmth and a nice dose of nostalgia. In a decade of triumphs, this was another example of Allen's versatility and considerable talent.

Dir: Woody Allen

Stars: Woody Allen, Mia Farrow, Nick Apollo Forte, Sandy Baron

THE BROADWAY MELODY
1929
*
A pair of sisters try to make it in show business.
Because it was the very first musical (although it’s not really a proper musical) this won that year’s Best Picture Oscar, but viewed now it comes across as probably the weakest of all of them – you sense that the filmmakers were feeling their way round the medium as it’s an extremely hesitant, flawed production. Endless arguing, a stuttering man and temperate song numbers really don’t help.
Dir: Harry Beaumont
Stars: Charles King, Anita Page, Bessie Love, Jed Prouty

BROADWAY MELODY OF 1936
1935
*
Two women compete to get the star part in a new Broadway musical.
Dated musical of interest to fans of this sort of thing, but the fact that it got a Best Picture Oscar nomination indicates that the Academy must have been as crazy then as they are now. The snoring chap is a low point but some of the numbers do have a lot of life.
Dir: Roy Del Ruth
Stars: Jack Benny, Eleanor Powell, Robert Taylor, Una Merkel

BROADWAY MELODY OF 1938
1937
0
A Broadway show being staged is dependent on a horse winning a race.
Similar stuff to before, at greater length, with more horse racing. The female stars certainly do their thing well, and that'll be enough for some.
Dir: Roy Del Ruth
Stars: Eleanor Powell, Robert Taylor, Judy Garland, George Murphy

BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN
2005
****
From the early 1960s onwards, two rural workers are forced to keep their love for each other hidden.
So much more than a 'gay cowboy movie', this, the director's best film, is a hypnotic tale of human lives that remain unfulfilled over a number of years - this pair could stand for any pair of frustrated people whose longings aren't met. Poignant without being sentimental, pointed without being preachy, it also features superb photography of the American outdoors - and this contrasts with the suffocating interiors that the characters frequently find themselves in.
Dir: Ang Lee
Stars: Heath Ledger, Jake Gyllenhaal, Michelle Williams, Anne Hathaway, Randy Quaid

BROKEN BLOSSOMS

1919

**

A Chinese immigrant in London's Limehouse forms a bond with a waif being abused by her boxer father.

Subtitled The Yellow Man And The Girl, this is a simple but oh so strong melodrama that is probably preferable to Griffith's Intolerance (it's certainly shorter). With its theatrical, powerful performances, carefully constructed, seedy sets and distinctive photography, it immediately transports you to a very different time and place, immersing you in movie history. Its Sinophile stance at that time might surprise some modern viewers.

Dir: DW Griffith

Stars: Lillian Gish, Richard Barthelmess, Donald Crisp

THE BROMLEY BOYS

2018

*

A teenager finds solace in Bromley football club despite their dismal run of form.

Bromley fan Dave Roberts wrote several enjoyable books on football, including the one this modest film was based on, but it's been mangled somewhat on its journey to the big screen: although it starts with much promise, the plot then becomes so unbelievable as to be absurd, and it only gets more silly towards the end, not to mention predictable. Still, the Sixties soundtrack is cracking, its intentions are honourable and it has the feel of a plucky British movie for the family that will please the less critical. Non-league football obsession is potentially a mine of tales, though, so it's a shame it doesn't fully dig that mine (though it does dig it a bit). 

Dir: Steve M Kelly

Stars: Brennock O'Connor, Jamie Foreman, Alan Davies, Martine McCutcheon

BRONCO BULLFROG
1969
**
The rough lives of youths in London's East End.
A genuinely authentic slice of cockney working class life, because that's what it was - these were local kids, they weren't professional actors, and it shows. It therefore has a raw charm, as do the vivid locales, which were about to change in character forever; this gives this unique monochrome film much value. It really makes you think: what could you do with your life when you were young and in that time and place?
Dir: Barney Platts-Mills
Stars: Del Walker, Anne Gooding, Sam Shepherd

BRONSON

2008

*

The pitiful, mostly incarcerated life of violent serial criminal Michael Peterson, who renamed himself Charles Bronson.

Refn's film does not attempt to prise out why Bronson is the man he is, perhaps because it is almost impossible to say why, and also because the director is more interested in kinetic stylistics, which verge on the pretentious (his later work would dive headlong into pretension). Notwithstanding the notion that all this is giving way too much attention to a vile criminal, one reaction is frustration and anger at how the banal, brutal Bronson has made many lives miserable, including his own, and the only conclusion one can reach is that he is a complete and utter dickhead. Hardy is predictably sensational and committed in the part.

Dir: Nicolas Winding Refn

Stars: Tom Hardy, James Lance, Jonny Phillips, Matt King

THE BROOD
1979
0
A woman's rage conjures up deformed psychopathic babies.
Those who aren't fans of the director are likely to find this repulsive, but they may also admit that there's intelligence at work somewhere in there.
Dir: David Cronenberg
Stars: Oliver Reed, Samantha Eggar, Art Hindle

BROOKLYN
2015
**
In the early 1950s, an Irish girl goes to America to forge a new life.
While it doesn't do anything radical, this is a very watchable drama that speaks of the importance of following your dream, of not getting stuck in your place of birth and persevering through inevitable home-sickness. All the characters are well-rounded, the period and places are immaculately created, and the performances assured.
Dir: John Crowley
Stars: Saorise Ronan, Emory Cohen, Domhnall Gleeson, Jim Broadbent, Julie Walters

THE BROTHER FROM ANOTHER PLANET
1984
0
A black alien lands in Harlem.
Tiresome comedy that hangs its heavy social points on a weak sci-fi structure.
Dir: John Sayles
Stars: Joe Morton, Rosanna Carter, Ray Ramirez

BROTHERHOOD OF SATAN

1971

0

Children are recruited by elderly Satan worshippers.

Strange, doddery horror not dissimilar in style to a TV movie, but perhaps a cut above because of that strangeness. The late Sixties and early Seventies were big on Satanism, heaven help us.

Dir: Bernard McEveety

Stars: Strother Martin, LQ Jones, Charles Bateman

BROTHERS
1999
0
A group of young British males go on a wild holiday to Greece.
Sloppy, seedy mix of disreputable behaviour and watery philosophising; its appeal to anyone is unclear.
Dir: Martin Dunkerton
Stars: Justin Brett, Dan Fredenburgh, Rebecca Cardinale

BROTHERS IN LAW
1957
*
A young barrister has an unsure beginning to his career.
Disappointing comedy that is merely a succession of only very faintly amusing incidents linked by a not particularly strong plotline; familiar faces constantly pop up but the enterprise feels somewhat lifeless and parochial, especially when compared to the sublime likes of I’m All Right Jack.
Dir: Roy Boulting
Stars: Ian Carmichael, Richard Attenborough, Terry-Thomas, Nicholas Parsons, John Le Mesurier, Eric Barker, Leslie Phillips, Irene Handl, Kenneth Griffith

BRUCE ALMIGHTY
2003
**
A troubled, ordinary man is given God's powers by the man himself.
Enjoyable comedy along predictable lines which gives its star plenty of room for clowning.
Dir: Tom Shadyac
Stars: Jim Carrey, Morgan Freeman, Jennifer Aniston, Steve Carell

BRUNO
2009
***
Flamboyant Austrian Brüno attempts to find fame in America.
By turns hysterical and squirm-inducing, this is a brilliant and essential comedy that barely has a second of boredom; its satirical aspects can be endlessly debated but the bottom line is that it’s a remarkable film fronted by a remarkable man.
Dir: Larry Charles
Stars: Sacha Baron Cohen

THE BRUTALIST

2024

*

A Hungarian emigre comes to the US after World War Two and becomes a renowned architect despite his proclivity for drugs and drink.

It's surprising that this project got financed, because it's a defiantly non-commercial, three-and-a-half hour, glacially slow epic that was extremely difficult and expensive to make. Should they have bothered? It seems yes if awards and critics' notices are anything to go by, but that's not everything. Yes, the acting, period recreation and cinematography are oh so impressive, but it's grotesquely overlong and its storytelling style is deliberately obfuscated - it's also quite nasty at times, while its political ethos is emphasised by its out-of-nowhere sexual incident near the end that makes its metaphor literal, setting its underwhelming climax in motion. Wrong-headed, undramatic and ice cold, it doesn't offer much to the average audience.

Dir: Brady Corbet

Stars: Adrien Brody, Felicity Jones, Guy Pearce, Joe Alwyn

THE BRUTE

1977

0

A model suffers at the hands of her violent husband.

Mainly earnest, occasionally sensational drama which starts well (ie sensationally, rather than earnestly) but gets bogged down by preachy talk - that's not to say that its preachy talk isn't valid, because wife-beating is a terrible thing, but the direction it takes doesn't lend itself to gripping drama. An odd mix of genre styles, it's well acted and well shot but doesn't quite make it as anything, and its presentation of the abuse of a sexy woman make its reception by future viewers anything but clear.

Dir: Gerry O'Hara

Stars: Sarah Douglas, Julian Glover, Roberta Gibbs, Bruce Robinson

BRUTES AND SAVAGES
1978
0
Documentary about the tribes and wild animals of South America and Africa.
Notorious mondo movie with much that many will find distasteful or laughable in its fakery, but the main problem is that it's mostly tedious, with several sequences going on way too long. Content includes turtle killing, llama bestiality, alligator attacks and tribal initiations.
Dir: Arthur Davis
Narrator: Richard Johnson

BUCK ROGERS
1939 (serial)
*
A pilot is thrown far into the future where he battles 'Killer' Kane.
Fondly remembered serial, now one for sniggering over due to its endlessly repeated action scenes, music, special effects and landscapes.
Dir: Ford Beebe, Saul Goodkind
Stars: Buster Crabbe, Constance Moore, Anthony Warde

BUCK ROGERS IN THE 25TH CENTURY
1979
0
A pilot is propelled 500 years into the future where he faces all manner of villains.
Made for television but released theatrically, this is a decent-enough-for-kids space opera, although the serial from 40 years previously is preferable.
Dir: Daniel Haller
Stars: Gil Gerard, Pamela Hensley, Erin Gray

A BUCKET OF BLOOD
1959
*
A wannabe sculptor find fame by killing people and encasing them in plaster.
Corman's black comedy, one of his best non-Poe pictures, has much in common with the following year's Little Shop Of Horrors and offers a nice line in ghoulish humour and a smart mockery of the Beatnik scene.
Dir: Roger Corman
Stars: Dick Miller, Barboura Morris, Antony Carbone

BUDDY’S SONG
1990
0
A Teddy Boy dad attempts to steer his son's pop career.
Absolutely awful, instantly dated, unbelievable musical drama with no appeal to anyone.
Dir: Claude Whatham
Stars: Roger Daltrey, Chesney Hawkes, Michael Elphick, Nick Moran

BUG
1975
0
An earthquake in a small town releases a breed of fire-starting cockroaches.
Low-key monster movie that’s hardly up there with the greats of the genre (The Birds, for instance) – it’s quite slow and long and only intermittently bursts into life. The main poster image of the woman being burned by the bug is probably as good as it gets.
Dir: Jeannot Szwarc
Stars: Bradford Fillman, Joanna Miles, Richard Gilliland

BUGSY
1991
***
The story of gangster Ben Siegel, who built one of the first hotels in Las Vegas.
In many ways a good, solid, old-fashioned biopic, the type of which Hollywood can do so well, with plenty of lively performances and a story you want to follow.
Dir: Barry Levinson
Stars: Warren Beatty, Annette Bening, Harvey Keitel, Ben Kingsley, Elliot Gould, Joe Mantegna

BUGSY MALONE
1976
**
In 1929 New York, gang warfare rages between machinegun-toting rivals.
An unusual musical in which all the parts are taken by children, some of whom can act, some of whom struggle – although most of the lip-synching is unconvincing, especially since it is rarely their voice used. But the songs themselves are jaunty and memorable, and the gutsy, drama school spirit of the production eventually lessens any cynicism.
Dir: Alan Parker
Stars: Scott Baio, Jodie Foster, Florrie Dugger, John Cassisi

BUKOWSKI: BORN INTO THIS
2003
**
Documentary about the American poet and author Charles Bukowski.
Possibly the definitive film on the crazy talent that was Bukowski, with plenty of detail on all stages of his life and interviews with most of the surviving main associates, along with archive footage of the writer himself. Devotees would no doubt not mind if it was longer still.
Dir: John Dullaghan

BULL DURHAM

1988

*

A baseball groupie helps a young talent and falls for a veteran.

Very much a film for those who are into baseball - otherwise, is there much to engage? You could say the three main characters and the humour, but the male leads aren't especially likeable and the humour not that funny. Much of the dialogue is vulgar and the story doesn't go many places. But if you like baseball...

Dir: Ron Shelton

Stars: Kevin Costner, Susan Sarandon, Tim Robbins

BULLETS OVER BROADWAY

1994

**

In 1920s New York, a gangster manages to turn a play into a huge success.

How wonderful it must have been for these actors to be presented with these roles that they could do so much with, and how lucky we are to have another quality Allen movie, one that juggles comedy and crime while asking big questions like how far should you go for your art. Made with Woody's usual craft, it looks great, the vintage music is as well chosen as ever, the plot is resourceful... but it's the characters and their flamboyance that really make it. Allen had an eye for the theatre as well as the cinema.

Dir: Woody Allen

Stars: John Cusack, Dianne Wiest, Jennifer Tilly, Chazz Palminteri, Jim Broadbent, Tracey Ullman, Rob Reiner

THE BULLFIGHTERS

1945

*

Stan has to stand in as a legendary bullfighter.

Laurel and Hardy’s last American film is an improvement on its immediate predecessors, with a sort of ‘back to basics’ approach in which a few old gags and plots are reworked with a degree of mirth; the very last scene caps things off in nutty fashion, echoing some previous ghoulish conclusions. At least there are no sub-plots involving others, and the production is of a decent standard - and there are even some real bullfighting sequences for those who like such things. There's none of their Thirties magic, though.

Dir: Mal St Clair

Stars: Stan Laurel, Oliver Hardy, Richard Lane, Margo Woode

BULLSEYE!
1990
0
Two crooks imitate look-alike scientists who have invented a cheap power source.
A comedy of astonishing lameness, surely an embarrassment to all concerned.
Dir: Michael Winner
Stars: Michael Caine, Roger Moore, Sally Kirkland, Derren Nesbitt

BULLSHOT
1984
*
Bullshot Drummond, English gentleman, saves the world in the 1920s.
Obvious but entertaining comedy with all performances deliberately mannered.
Dir: Dick Clement
Stars: Alan Shearman, Mel Smith, Billy Connolly, Peter Bayliss

BUMPING INTO BROADWAY
1919
0
Two young people try to make it big on Broadway.
Lloyd is as energetic as ever in this short, but the gags, which range from a faulty typewriter to getting chased around a casino by cops, aren't among his most inspiring.
Dir: Hal Roach
Stars: Harold Lloyd, Bebe Daniels, Snub Pollard, Noah Young

BUNNY LAKE IS MISSING
1965
**
The four-year-old daughter of an American woman in London disappears, and there is no proof of her ever existing.
Tantalising thriller, a successful variant on The Lady Vanishes, with a quality cast largely portraying a bunch of oddballs and eccentrics, and fine footage of a London worth remembering. Technically excellent and layered with interesting themes, it's an intriguing movie that is a different sort of second watch thanks to its major twist.
Dir: Otto Preminger
Stars: Carol Lynley, Laurence Olivier, Keir Dullea, Noel Coward, Anna Massey

THE ’BURBS
1988
*
Suburbanites are concerned by a strange new family in their midst.
Not unpredictable comic drama which ambles along tolerably.
Dir: Joe Dante
Stars: Tom Hanks, Bruce Dern, Carrie Fisher, Corey Feldman

BURIED
2009
**
An American truck driver in Iraq is buried alive in a box, and desperately tries to bring help by making telephone calls.
Every single second of this movie is set in a coffin, a more ambitious scenario than even Hitchcock attempted (Lifeboat and Rope were said to be inspirations, and the titles are suitably Saul Bass-like). It pretty much works thanks to its variety of camera angles and a sustained performance by Reynolds, and the ending is effective.
Dir: Rodrigo Cortes
Stars: Ryan Reynolds

BURKE & HARE
1971
*
The story of the famous body snatchers of Edinburgh.
From the jaunty song by The Scaffold over the opening credits, it's clear that this is a not especially serious take on the legend, often more of a Carry On Burke And Hare, particularly the brothel scenes which feature some stunning actresses not wearing much. Horror is low down in the mix and it's a fairly low budget enterprise but the story again provides a not disagreeable diversion - particularly when Stensgaard and Pascal are involved.

Dir: Vernon Sewell
Stars: Derren Nesbitt, Glynn Edwards, Harry Andrews, Francoise Pascal, Yutte Stensgaard, Yootha Joyce

BURKE & HARE
2010
0
One of a pair of grave robbers falls in love with a woman putting on an all-female production of Macbeth.
Completely uninteresting black comedy which wastes a half-decent cast and proves, if proof need be, that this dreadful director has lost all vestiges of the talent he once might have had. The tone of it is bewildering – just what were they thinking?
Dir: John Landis
Stars: Simon Pegg, Andy Serkis, Isla Fisher, Tom Wilkinson, Ronnie Corbett, Tim Curry, Jessica Hynes, Bill Bailey, Christopher Lee

THE BURNING
1981
0
Teenagers at a holiday camp are butchered by a vengeful maniac.
A slasher movie with a [dire] Rick Wakeman score; just as bloody and just as bloody awful as the rest of the crop.
Dir: Tony Maylam
Stars: Brian Matthews, Brian Backer, Jason Alexander, Holly Hunter

BURNT OFFERINGS

1976

*

A family moves into a new house where the supernatural lurks.

Moderately paced chiller that's well acted (how could it not be with this cast?) and occasionally scary, most notably the creepy chauffeur and the climactic scenes. Coming across like a small-fry dry run for The Shining, it's an easy enough watch with some nice cinematography.

Dir: Dan Curtis

Stars: Karen Black, Oliver Reed, Bette Davis, Burgess Meredith

BUS 174
2003
**
Documentary about a hostage situation on a bus in Rio de Janiero.
Grimly fascinating portrayal of humanity gone wrong which leaves the viewer with a sense of obfuscation about the wretchedness of Brazil and a feeling of seething anger towards the hopeless, incompetent authorities.
Dir: Jose Padilha, Felipe Lacerda

BUS STOP
1956
*
A cowboy falls in love with a cafe singer and follows her to a remote bus stop.
Atmospheric but disappointingly static vehicle for its rising star.
Dir: Joshua Logan
Stars: Marilyn Monroe, Don Murray, Arthur O’Connell

THE BUSHIDO BLADE
1979
0
In the 19th century, American soldiers encounter samurais while searching for a special sword.
Undistinguished action adventure, neither enticing nor attractive to watch.
Dir: Tom Katani
Stars: Richard Boone, Sonny Chiba, James Earl Jones, Mako

THE BUSINESS

2005

**

In the 1980s, a London teenager with no future escapes to Spain but becomes involved in organised crime.

More hard-as-nails London criminal types doing their thing in a predictable but watchable romp in the bright setting of sunny Spain, likely to find most favour with males in their mid-twenties. There's not much depth here, and the performances are all exactly as you'd expect, but the soundtrack is fun and there are worse Nick Love films.

Dir: Nick Love

Stars: Danny Dyer, Tamer Hassan, Geoff Bell, Georgina Chapman

BUSINESS IS BUSINESS
1971
0
The prostitutes of Amsterdam include a lady who will live out any strange fantasy for her clients.
Verhoeven's first film is his worst, a shapeless comic drama whose exhibition of kinky sex acts and near-glorification of prostitution is off-putting to say the least.
Dir: Paul Verhoeven
Stars: Ronnie Bierman, Sylvia de Leur, Piet Romer

BUSY BODIES
1933
***
Stan and Ollie cause havoc in a sawmill.
Inventive short which makes slapstick gold (some of which is quite sadistic) from a limited setting - there's little plot, just a succession of logically linked mishaps which are anything but lazily constructed - this duo always had underlying intelligence and creativity beneath the gags.
Dir: Lloyd French
Stars: Stan Laurel, Oliver Hardy, Charlie Hall, Tiny Sandford

BUTCH CASSIDY AND THE SUNDANCE KID
1969
***
Western train robbers keep one step ahead of the law.
A curious film which gained many accolades: technically speaking it’s excellent, with both sound and visuals of a very high standard, and the stars work well together. Narrative-wise it’s a little meandering, with dry patches, and the combination of that and the authentic, dusty feel might bore some modern viewers – but by the end it might have won some back with its easygoing charm.
Dir: George Roy Hill
Stars: Paul Newman, Robert Redford, Katharine Ross, Cloris Leachman

BUTTERFLY
1981
0
A teenage sexpot returns home to her father, seduces him and tries to rob his gold mine.
Steamy melodrama, mainly risible, occasionally intriguing.
Dir: Matt Cimber
Stars: Stacy Keach, Pia Zadora, Orson Welles, Edward Albert, James Franciscus

THE BUTTERFLY EFFECT

2004

**

A young man finds he can travel back to his past to influence the future, but it all starts to go wrong.

The movie's central idea, which takes a while to kick in, is a good if excessively fanciful one: the early incidents are dark to the point of extreme grimness, with paedophilia, murder of a baby, the burning of a dog and swearing children, while the remainder of the movie also features some very nasty behaviour. The best writers in Hollywood could have made this a classic, because it would take brains to write the script in such a fashion as to take full advantage of its knotty premise. As it is, it's a decent if often tough watch, with a sad conclusion (alternate versions are preferable). Some of us, being picky, may contend with its apparent advocacy of 'nurture' rather than 'nature' as our guiding force.

Dir: Eric Bress, J Mackye Gruber

Stars: Ashton Kutcher, Amy Smart, William Lee Scott, Eric Stoltz

THE BUTTERFLY EFFECT 2
2006
0
A man has the ability to return to his past and stop bad things happening – but screws up.
This unconnected sequel doesn’t work because the plot makes little sense (for example, Nick couldn’t possibly function properly in scenarios he’d only just landed in, and then there’s the whole pregnancy thing), the central character is a right git and the story is much too preoccupied with the business world. It’s also humourless and grotty to look at.
Dir: John R Leonetti
Stars: Eric Lively, Erica Durance, Dustin Milligan, Gina Holden

BYZANTIUM
2012
0
A mother and daughter, who are vampires, escape to a seaside town from pursuers.
Wearily earnest and humourless horror drama, all piano-playing, halting line readings and murky scenery, perfectly well shot but not once looking like a goer: the lead characters never convince and the semi-flashback structure befuddles it, also swelling the running time inordinately.
Dir: Neil Jordan
Stars: Gemma Arterton, Saoirse Ronan, Sam Riley, Daniel Mays