1972
**
In 1930s Berlin, a nightclub singer romances two men, while outside the Nazis are on the rise.
Generally branded a classic, it's sometimes never quite explained just why this is considered such a milestone: yes, the songs in the club are electric - you wish there were more of them - but as a drama it never really kicks off, and the unusual characters are difficult to empathise with. Its main qualities are its occasional memorable imagery and its detachment from any musicals that came before.
Dir: Bob Fosse
Stars: Liza Minnelli, Michael York, Joel Grey, Helmut Griem
CABIN FEVER
2003
*
Five college students rent a cabin in the woods and fall victim to a flesh-eating virus.
Could-be-a-lot-worse horror which mixes plenty of familiar elements into its bloody brew but manages to take some fresh and funny turns, particularly in the final act.
Dir: Eli Roth
Stars: Rider Strong, Jordan Ladd, James DeBello
CABIN IN THE SKY
1943
*
When a compulsive gambler is shot and seriously wounded, he promises to become a good husband.
Gutsy all-black musical which soon becomes a bit of a bore despite hard work all round.
Dir: Vincente Minnelli
Stars: Ethel Walters, Eddie ‘Rochester’ Anderson, Lois Armstrong
THE CABIN IN THE WOODS
2011
*
Five teenagers get more than they expected when they visit a remote cabin.
Admirers of this film hyped it as something very special and something very different, but it really isn't, it just thinks it is. Westworld and The Truman Show did this sort of thing a hundred times better, not to mention real 'cabin in the woods' movies like The Evil Dead.
Dir: Drew Goddard
Stars: Kristen Connolly, Chris Hemsworth, Anna Hutchison, Fran Kranz, Sigourney Weaver
THE CABINET OF CALIGARI
1962
0
A woman gets stranded on the estate of a mysterious man named Caligari.
Nothing to do with the 1919 film, this is a verbose psychological drama with no sense of conviction. And it goes on forever: way before its twist ending you've tuned out of a very boring experience.
Dir: Roger Kay
Stars: Glynis Johns, Dan O’Herlihy, Richard Davalos
THE CABINET OF DR CALIGARI
1919
***
A strange doctor comes to town with a somnambulist act at the same time as murders begin.
One of the most important films in early cinema history and still a unique experience to be savoured today; what stands out most are the bizarrely angled and painted sets which resemble something out of a bad dream by Dr Seuss. Besides this, the plot is simplistic and the performances without exception theatrical, although this only adds to its other-wordly flavour.
Dir: Robert Wiene
Stars: Werner Krauss, Conrad Veidt, Friedrich Feher
CABIRIA
1957
**
A prostitute in Rome dreams of a better existence.
A movie about the ugliness of life that often looks beautiful; Masina’s performance could not be better, and technically it is excellent, but the plot meanders and there are rather too many loud, bickering Italians. Still, the final shot very nearly has the viewer forgiving all that has gone before.
Dir: Federico Fellini
Stars: Giulietta Masina, Francois Perier, Amedeo Nazzari
THE CABLE GUY
1996
***
A disturbed cable guy becomes obsessed with the man whom he has done work for.
Jet-black comedy on familiar lines (the diligent stalker); it's Carrey's manic performance that takes it well above the ordinary, as he channels big chunks of popular culture, that have been brought to us via television, into his dominant performance. In many ways it was ahead of its time - among other things it predicts the power of the internet - and was much undervalued at the time.
Dir: Ben Stiller
Stars: Jim Carrey, Matthew Broderick, Leslie Mann, Jack Black, Ben Stiller, Owen Wilson
CADDYSHACK
1980
0
Comic incidents at an exclusive golf club threatened by a new property development.
Lumbering farce with little to laugh at.
Dir: Harold Ramis
Stars: Chevy Chase, Rodney Dangerfield, Bill Murray
CAFE SOCIETY
2016
**
In the 1930s, a young man looks for work in Hollywood and gets caught up in a love triangle.
This is mid-table Allen, a gorgeously shot romantic drama that isn't quite as sharp or focused as recent efforts like Blue Jasmine or Irrational Man but still has pleasures, including its repeats of Allen's recurring themes, such as love of movies, Jewishness, nostalgia, unconventional relationships, and the romance of crime - not to mention hearing Woody's voice. (It brings back memories of everything from Radio Days to Bullets Over Broadway.) The main point it makes is that circumstances can mean we don't necessarily end up with the person that we should, but that's life.
Dir: Woody Allen
Narrator: Woody Allen. Stars: Jesse Eisenberg, Kristen Stewart, Steve Carell, Blake Lively
CAGED HEAT
1974
*
A girl is arrested for drug offences and sent to a punitive women's prison.
More thoughtful than most women's prison movies, done with a certain vigour.
Dir: Jonathan Demme
Stars: Juanita Brown, Roberta Collins, Donald Heitzer
THE CAINE MUTINY
1954
***
During World War Two a US Navy ship is taken charge of by a strict and possibly unbalanced captain.
Top quality seafaring drama, peopled by thoroughly decent types, which lets the viewer make up their own mind by presenting the characters in shades of grey and allowing events to be subject to different interpretations; it also gives Bogart one of his finest performances as the strawberry-counting, metal ball-fiddling, shirts hanging out-hating captain.
Dir: Edward Dmytryk
Stars: Humphrey Bogart, Van Johnson, Robert Francis, Jose Ferrer, Fred MacMurray
CAL
1983
0
A young IRA man falls in love with a woman whose husband was shot by his organisation.
Well made of course, but oh so gloomy and unlikeable.
Dir: Pat O’Connor
Stars: Helen Mirren, John Lynch
CALENDAR GIRL MURDERS
1984 (TV)
0
A killer works his way through the months' models.
Feeble thriller with unimaginatively handled deaths.
Dir: William A Graham
Stars: Tom Skerritt, Sharon Stone, Robert Morse
CALIGULA
1979
0
The life and times of evil Roman Emperor, Caligula.
'The most expensive sex film ever made' is a no-holds-barred portrait of decadent Rome featuring a starry cast who presumably had a ball. As a movie, it throws away a promising scenario, and the shortened version is like going to a party with no alcohol.
Dir: Tinto Brass
Stars: Malcom McDowell, Helen Mirren, Peter O’Toole, John Gielgud
CALL ME
1987
0
A female journalist witnesses a murder while she is playing an erotic game.
Unfocused thriller, very likely to induce a sinking feeling inside for those who rent it on the strength of its sexy cover art.
Dir: Sollace Mitchell
Stars: Patricia Charbonneau, Steve Buscemi
CALL ME BY YOUR NAME
2017
*
Romance occurs between two young men at a villa in northern Italy in the Eighties.
Quite the gayest film: basically a dreamy fantasy about what this sort of summer of love would be like. Carefully made in measured, languid fashion, with plenty of symbolism, it's quite stretched out and one wonders whether critics would have been as ecstatic had it been a romance between boy and girl; there's certainly no way it would have received long standing ovations at film festivals if there'd been nothing to virtue-signal. But some will buy into it, and nor might they mind the flawless, rich, super-intelligent, liberal family who feature in it.
Dir: Luca Guadagnino
Stars: Timothee Chalamet, Armie Hammer, Michael Stuhlbarg, Amira Casar
CALL ME SAVAGE
1975
0
An heiress follows a rich businessman to his secluded island.
Underachieving screwball comedy that drags from early on.
Dir: Jean-Paul Rappeneau
Stars: Yves Montand, Catherine Deneuve, Tony Roberts, Dana Wynter
CALL OF THE CUCKOO
1927
*
A man moves his family into a badly constructed new house.
A succession of moderately funny gags; despite the brief appearances of the likes of Laurel, Hardy and Finlayson, it's Spec O'Donnell who is most mirthful, simply by the look on his freckled face.
Dir: Clyde Bruckman
Stars: Max Davidson, Stan Laurel, Oliver Hardy, James Finlayson, Charley Chase, Spec O'Donnell
CALLAN
1974
*
An ex-assassin, not long out of jail, is asked to kill a German he works in the same building as.
Solid if overlong film version of a reliable TV series, well acted and quite tense at times, with decent action sequences too.
Dir: Don Sharp
Stars: Edward Woodward, Eric Porter, Carl Mohner, Catherine Schell
CALLING DR DEATH
1943
0
A doctor is suspected of killing his wife.
The first of six Inner Sanctum mysteries, spun off from a popular radio series of the time. A stretched Chaney is in all six, including this one as a fretting doctor prone to voicing his inner thoughts, which gets a bit irritating. The mystery is nothing special - most viewers should be able to guess who the villain is - but it has quirks like the hypnosis-induced, surreal confession scenes near the end.
Dir: Reginald Le Borg
Stars: Lon Chaney Jr, Patricia Morison, J Carrol Naish, David Bruce
CALTIKI, THE IMMORTAL MONSTER
1959
0
Archaeologists find an ancient blob-like monster in Mayan ruins.
Atypical of both its country, Italy, and its directors (Freda under a pseudonym and an uncredited Mario Bava), this is a choppy sci-fi horror partly in the vein of Quatermass and The Blob, with better photography than it deserves. A bit lumpy and awkwardly paced, it nevertheless has a handful of good, gory shocks. The 2017 Arrow Blu-ray release has numerous men giving you more information about it more than you could ever need.
Dir: Riccardo Freda
Stars: John Merivale, Did Sullivan, Gerard Herter, GR Stuart
CAMILLE
1936
*
A Parisian courtesan is courted by a good young man and an evil Baron.
Period romance giving another prominent role to the luminous if chilly Garbo, this was apparently her favourite of her own movies. It is indeed the sort of film that women of the time liked, and watched by a man in the present day it's not quite as enrapturing.
Dir: George Cukor
Stars: Greta Garbo, Robert Taylor, Lionel Barrymore, Elizabeth Allan
THE CAMP ON BLOOD ISLAND
1958
*
Prisoners of war are treated appallingly by their Japanese captors but slowly plot an escape.
Grim war drama that has the viewer anxious for the prisoners to take their revenge because of the sadism of the Japanese – when it comes it’s a huge relief, albeit tinged with melancholy in Bridge On The River Kwai fashion. A smaller fry cousin of that classic, it’s a little dry at times, but a pretty decent Sunday afternoon flick (although the PC brigade would likely forbid that - in fact it was controversial even at the time). Remarkably, a novelisation sold around two million copies.
Dir: Val Guest
Stars: Andre Morell, Carl Mohner, Walter Fitzgerald, Edward Underdown, Barbara Shelley
CAMPFIRE STORIES
2001
0
A strange Forest Ranger tells three spooky stories to some teenagers, concerning school bullies, an old Indian and a killer loose in a house.
Bargain basement horror anthology which stretches its limited material to breaking point. Story one is perhaps the worst, a desperately lame tale of vengeance; story two has a moderately amusing climax after some woozy druggy bits; story three, elongated as it is, actually has a few fun moments and a reasonably surprising conclusion. But the quality threshold of this shot-on-video movie is extremely low.
Dir: Bob Cea, Andrzeg Kraowski, Jeff Mazzola
Stars: Jamie-Lynn Sigler, John Hensley, Abigail Spencer
CAMPFIRE TALES
1991
0
A hobo tells three young lads four gruesome stories around a campfire: The Hook, Overtoke, The Fright Before Xmas and Skull & Crossbones.
Semi-professional anthology whose chirpy spirit just about keeps it going, at least until the last story which seems to last forever. But although the first three stories provide some endearingly rubbishy horror moments, they're also appallingly acted and scripted, and devoid of any proper twist in the tale. Clips from Night Of The Living Dead and Karloff's The Terror are featured. The good thing about horror compendiums generally is that they squeeze three or four plots into one feature, whereas a lot of horrors stretch one out for their entire length, often painfully.
Dir: William Cooke, Paul Talbot
Stars: Gunnar Hansen, Michael R Smith, Johnny Tamblyn
CAMPFIRE TALES
1997
0
Horror anthology with three main stories - The Honeymoon, People Can Lick Too, The Locket - preceded by a very short one (The Hook) and wrapped around by The Campfire.
Second-rate stuff almost enough to make you swear off this sort of movie.
Dir: Matt Cooper, Martin Kunert, David Semel
Stars: James Marsden, Amy Smart, Christine Taylor
CAN ELLEN BE SAVED?
1974 (TV)
0
A girl causes consternation when she joins a religious cult.
Audiences' reaction may well be 'I don't care', as this is a dull little enterprise.
Dir: Harvey Hart
Stars: Leslie Nielsen, Katherine Cannon, John Saxon, Kathleen Quinlan
CAN I COME TOO?
1979
0
Saucy goings on at a cinema in Brixton before a premiere.
Quickly constructed short with a few very minor pleasures among the drivel.
Dir: Ray Selfe
Stars: Charlie Chester, Rita Webb, Mark Jones, Sue Longhurst
CAN I DO IT... 'TIL I NEED GLASSES?
1977
*
A series of mainly rude comic sketches.
A slightly better follow-up to the similar If You Don't Stop It... (qv) - the sketches, which are the sort of thing you'd hear in old stand-up comedians' routines, are again patchy, and of course what would now be termed 'un-PC', but there are some laughs, punctuated by hearty nudity. Watched now, it's refreshingly completely different to anything you'd see on TV and a pretty painless 70 minutes.
Dir: Bob Levy
Stars: Jeff Doucette, Vic Dunlop, Deborah Klose, Robin Williams
CAN YOU EVER FORGIVE ME?
2018
***
The writer Lee Israel is forced to take to crime when her career stalls, making up letters by dead celebrities that she sells for large amounts of money.
McCarthy is terrific as the world-weary Israel, trying to make it through the difficulties of existence with her talent for words and her fellow boozer and general nightmare Jack Hock (an also excellent Grant). It tells a remarkable story that is straightforward but features complex characters, is sympathetic to the particularities of the human condition, and can be both funny and sad when it chooses - what more could you ask of cinema?
Dir: Marielle Heller
Stars: Melissa McCarthy, Richard E Grant, Dolly Wells, Ben Falcone
CAN YOU KEEP IT UP FOR A WEEK?
1974
0
A girl promises her boyfriend she will marry him if he can keep a job for one week.
Deeply stupid farce with a particularly gormless lead; by way of compensation there's a great deal of unclothed female pulchritude on show, most notably from the comely Damas.
Dir: Jim Atkinson
Stars: Jeremy Bulloch, Neil Hallett, Jill Damas, Sue Longhurst
CANDIDATE FOR MURDER
1961
*
A man hires an assassin to kill his wife.
Gough is as juicy as ever as an evil husband, but this Edgar Wallace Mystery is very creakily plotted: why get the assassin to the party where everyone will see him? Why think you'd get away with it? Why does the killer eventually act as he does? It's also flatly directed (by a non-director) but remains just about watchable despite all its faults.
Dir: David Villiers
Stars: Michael Gough, Erika Remberg, John Justin
A CANDLE FOR THE DEVIL
1973
*
Two puritanical sisters who run a small hotel in Spain start murdering female guests they disapprove of.
This steamy semi-horror is much better caught in the longer, uncut version, rather than the curtailed one known as It Happened At Nightmare Inn (a more accurate title), because, despite quite a few absurdities, it conjures up a sweaty atmosphere of perversity and darkness that is strangely appealing - they don't make them like this any more. Plot development is mostly standard, with a few unusual deviations like when the woman, after a spot of voyeurism, gets caught in thorns and enjoys it; some of its shocker imagery stands out and it's pleasingly warped in the name of a satire on religious authoritarianism.
Dir: Eugenio Martin
Stars: Judy Geeson, Aurora Bautista, Esperanza Roy, Lone Fleming
CANDY
1968
0
A nubile young teenager is pursued by strange men wherever she goes.
Incomprehensible and interminable adaptation of a book that wasn’t up to much to begin with; it certainly doesn’t play well in the 21st century and probably didn’t back then. All it boasts is an all-star cast wildly overacting and neat opening and closing titles.
Dir: Christian Marquand
Stars: Ewa Aulin, Richard Burton, Marlon Brando, Ringo Starr, James Coburn, John Huston, Walter Matthau, Charles Aznavour, Sugar Ray Robinson, Anita Pallenberg
CANDYMAN 2
1995
0
The Candyman goes after the daughter of a man he has previously slain.
Excruciating sequel, dumber than dumb, and too noisy to sleep through.
Dir: Bill Condon
Stars: Tony Todd, Kelly Rowan, Bill Nunn
CANNIBAL APOCALYPSE
1980
0
Former soldiers in Vietnam are somehow are infected with a cannibal virus and take to the streets.
Shapeless and incompetent horror that is saddled with bad dialogue and variable gore effects.
Dir: Antonio Margheriti
Stars: John Saxon, Elizabeth Turner, Giovanni Lombardo Radice, Tony King
CANNIBAL FEROX
1981
0
Anthropologists journey to the jungles of Colombia to study native cannibals but run into vicious drug dealers.
Unexceptional horror made even more redundant in the heavily cut UK version.
Dir: Umberto Lenzi
Stars: Giovanni Lombardo Radice, Lorraine De Selle
CANNIBAL HOLOCAUST
1980
*
A TV channel reviews footage of explorers who head into cannibal-infested jungle.
An evil stench permeates this previously banned nasty which is a repellent experience thanks to the close-up evisceration of animals and humans alike; verisimilitude increases the intensity of the experience and its jerky, non-conventional style probably influenced The Blair Witch Project some years later.
Dir: Ruggero Deodato
Stars: Robert Kerman, Francesca Ciardi, Perry Pirkanen
THE CANNIBAL MAN
1972
*
A worker at a slaughterhouse has to keep murdering people to cover up his crimes.
As a psychological study, this is unconvincing and superficial – not to mention ludicrous because the police never even investigate – but as a video nasty it is marginally more thoughtful than most, with a few individual ideas.
Dir: Eloy de la Iglesia
Stars: Vicente Parra, Emma Cohen, Eusebio Poncela
CANNIBAL TERROR
1981
0
Three kidnappers get their just deserts when they encounter a flesh-hungry tribe.
Most cannibal films are dreadful but this is most certainly the worst of them all - quite simply every aspect of it is atrocious. The director, whoever he is, appears to barely even try to make a proper film.
Dir: Alain Deruelle
Stars: Silvia Solar, Gerard Lemaire, Pamela Stanford
CANNIBALS
1981
0
A doctor and his family are menaced by cannibals in the Brazilian jungle.
Cack-handed Franco trash complete with white cannibals and bizarre, slow-motion scenes of flesh being devoured.
Dir: Jess Franco
Stars: Al Cliver, Lina Romay, Jess Franco
THE CANNONBALL RUN
1980
0
A variety of eccentric competitors partake in an illegal cross-country race.
Frantic all-star comedy that's little more than a series of sloppy car-fixated sketches.
Dir: Hal Needham
Stars: Burt Reynolds, Roger Moore, Farrah Fawcett, Dom DeLuise, Dean Martin, Sammy Davis Jr, Adrienne Barbeau, Jackie Chan, Peter Fonda
A CANTERBURY TALE
1944
*
Two soldiers and a land girl track down a man who is putting glue in girls’ hair in a village near Canterbury.
One of the true oddities of British cinema, and a film that almost defies description – you want to like it but there’s just not enough story or sense to make it sympathetic.
Dir: Michael Powell, Emeric Pressburger
Stars: Eric Porter, Sheila Sim, Dennis Price, John Sweet, Esmond Knight, Charles Hawtrey
THE CANTERBURY TALES
1971
*
Retelling of Chaucer's bawdy tales of 14th century England.
Truly bizarre filming of Chaucer that teenage students would no doubt enjoy seeing thanks to its abundance of flesh and farting. It's a shame it wasn't shot in England, in English, and it has a tendency to be wilfully vague, but there are super moments.
Dir: Pier Paolo Pasolini
Stars: Hugh Griffith, Michael Balfour, Tom Baker, Robin Askwith
THE CANTERVILLE GHOST
1943
*
A cowardly ghost can only be saved if one of his descendants performs a heroic deed.
Poorish comedy salvaged by the star at his roguish best.
Dir: Jules Dassin
Stars: Charles Laughton, Robert Young, Margaret O’Brien, Reginald Owen, Una O’Connor
CAPE FEAR
1962
*
A lawyer's family is terrorised by a man he once had incarcerated.
Drawn-out thriller, not especially likeable.
Dir: J Lee Thompson
Stars: Gregory Peck, Robert Mitchum, Lori Martin, Martin Balsam, Telly Savalas
CAPE FEAR
1992
*
A superior remake, but not one of its director’s masterpieces; its themes have been done to death and one is reminded of other better, and often cheaper, films.
Dir: Martin Scorsese
Stars: Robert De Niro, Nick Nolte, Jessica Lange, Juliette Lewis, Joe Don Baker, Gregory Peck, Robert Mitchum, Martin Balsam
CAPERNAUM
2018
**
A 12-year-old boy ekes out an existence on the mean streets of Beruit.
A slice of naturalistic moviemaking which very much brings home how horrible life can be in many parts of the world. It seems rather deliberately engineered to illicit a certain kind of reaction, and the mid-section in particular is loose and a bit rambly, but there's no doubting its cinematic credentials and the value of its recording of these lives.
Dir: Nadine Labaki
Stars: Zain Al Rafeea, Yordanos Shiferaw, Boluwatife Treasure Bankole
CAPITALISM: A LOVE STORY
2009
*
Documentary critical of America’s capitalist system which, it is argued, created the banking crisis of 2008.
Moore finally takes on the biggie, the capitalist system itself, which, of course, he has enormously benefited from. This film has quirky editing and makes a few good points but, as ever, it’s an effort to eke them out amid the disingenuousness and selective examples, while some of the director’s tactics are decidedly dodgy, including roping in Catholic priests (!) to echo his message, and close-ups on the weeping dispossessed. The movie’s close, where Moore calls on people to overthrow capitalism and replace it with ‘democracy’, perhaps tells you all you need to know about the intellect of the man.
Dir/Narrator: Michael Moore
CAPONE
1975
0
The rise and fall of Twenties gangster Al Capone.
Heavy on violence, swearing and nudity, this cut-price biopic isn't so strong on the human element - Gazzara's performance is wayward and the film soon boils down to just a succession of men getting shot in the street.
Dir: Steve Carver
Stars: Ben Gazzara, Susan Blakely, Harry Guardino, Sylvester Stallone
CAPOTE
2005
***
Learning of the brutal murders of a family in Kansas, Truman Capote has an idea for a book which will be 'a new form of writing'.
Understated, restrained drama detailing how one of American's most famous authors created his unusual masterwork, it gains a sort of organic power from its strange story and the lead's compelling performance. See also Infamous (qv).
Dir: Bennett Miller
Stars: Philip Seymour Hoffman, Catherine Keener, Clifton Collins Jr
CAPRICCIO
1987
0
In 1947, a couple try to rekindle the illicit romantic relationship each of them had during the war.
An erotic drama from a director who would very much come to be identified by 'erotic' and not so much by 'drama', this has mild interest for both those seeking a romantic tale and those in search of raw female charms - his filming of such pulchritude is accomplished, and the movie also warmly captures some period detail. It's amusing that the first IMDb keywords currently read: erotica/female nudity/female frontal nudity/female rear nudity/voyeurism; it's not terrible.
Dir: Tinto Brass
Stars: Nicola Warren, Francesca Dellera, Andy J Forest, Luigi Laezza
CAPRICORN ONE
1978
**
An investigative journalist begins to suspect that NASA's visit to Mars has been faked.
Beguiling thriller which juxtaposes fascinating Watergate-type realism with light chase antics.
Dir: Peter Hyams
Stars: Elliott Gould, James Brolin, Brenda Vaccaro, O J Simpson, Karen Black, Telly Savalas
CAPTAIN AMERICA
1944 (serial)
0
District Attorney Grant Gardner, aka Captain America, battles a dastardly villain known as the Scarab.
Rough-around-the-edges serial that owes little to the comics and quickly settles into the following routine: podgy DA Gardner gets news of some wrongdoers’ plans, changes into an ill-fitting Captain America costume for some reason, has a long fist fight with the baddies and is then slain in an explosion/falling out of a window/being run over by a tractor etc – only he isn’t slain, as the following week’s episode details his miraculous escape. It’d be tough meat for kids to swallow nowadays. Lead actor Purcell died of a heart attack the year it was in theatres.
Dir: Elmer Clifton, John English
Stars: Dick Purcell, Lorna Gray, Lionel Atwill
CAPTAIN AMERICA
1979 (TV)
0
A beefy artist injured in a car accident is turned into a super-strong hero.
Uninspired pilot featuring a man in a silly blue costume, allegedly based on the Marvel comic book but bearing little resemblance to it. And it takes him some while to slip the costume on – all the while we’re wishing we were watching something else.
Dir: Rob Holcomb
Stars: Reb Brown, Len Birman, Heather Menzies
CAPTAIN AMERICA II
1979 (TV)
0
A terrorist threatens to prematurely age the town of Portland, Oregon.
Another failed pilot for a TV series which would undoubtedly have been as bad as the Spider-Man one of around the same time. This one isn’t all terrible – the old ‘town with a secret to hide’ idea always has its moments – but there really isn’t much of Cap (although when he is on screen he’s fairly laughable, along with his boomerang shield) and the plot completely runs out of steam before the end, choosing to show us a very long and boring glider/car chase.
Dir: Ivan Nagy
Stars: Reb Brown, Connie Sellecca, Christopher Lee, Len Birman
CAPTAIN AMERICA
1990
0
It’s Cap to the rescue when the Red Skull kidnaps the US President.
A superhero movie that stinks to high heaven, abysmally scripted and directed on a budget equivalent to a packet of Twinkies. Action sequences are ham-fisted and repetitive, the hero is limited (to say the least), the plot is inane, even the wardrobe is awful... just complete dreck.
Dir: Albert Pyun
Stars: Matt Salinger, Scott Paulin, Kim Gillingham
CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE FIRST AVENGER
2011
*
A skinny kid keen to fight in World War Two is turned into a super soldier who goes on to battle evil Nazi the Red Skull.
One of the many ‘trailers’ for Marvel’s 2012 The Avengers movie is solid superhero fare: it looks great, if a little brown, it’s free of cynicism, and the first half works particularly well. But it lacks that certain something to turn it into a classic of the genre – maybe it’s because the lead character is a little wooden and unsympathetic, the relationship between Evans and Atwell never sparks, that there isn’t a real supernatural element, or that the Red Skull isn’t the most spectacular of villains. We’ve become spoiled, though, because until recent years we never had superhero movies as technically excellent as ones like this.
Dir: Joe Johnston
Stars: Chris Evans, Hayley Atwell, Tommy Lee Jones, Hugo Weaving
CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE WINTER SOLDIER
2014
**
Steve Rogers has to go on the run after SHIELD is infiltrated.
Superior sequel that is in part a Hitchcockian man-on-the-run thriller, albeit one injected with a near-wearying dose of combat either delivered by guns, fists or CGI; beyond preposterous, but confident and controlled, it's another example of Marvel tending to make better superhero movies than DC (even featuring one as limited in personality and powers as this one).
Dir: Anthony Russo, Joe Russo
Stars: Chris Evans, Scarlet Johansson, Robert Redford, Samuel L Jackson, Anthony Mackie, Sebastian Stan, Cobie Smulders
CAPTAIN AMERICA: CIVIL WAR
2016
*
After being censured for their behaviour the Avengers face a serious split in their ranks.
More of an Avengers film than a Captain America film, which may not have been a bad idea considering the blandness of the character (but they've managed to find one even more boring here - the Black Panther), this is essentially a film for nerds and children, with some fairly amusing Top Trumps-like punch-ups between the superheroes. But it doesn't exactly say anything about the human condition, is too long and congested - they could have cut characters like the Vision, Hawkeye and War Machine, for instance - and remains a little too keen on greyness, angst and concrete. Still, they lap this stuff up in China, India and elsewhere.
Dir: Anthony Russo, Joe Russo
Stars: Chris Evans, Robert Downey Jr, Scarlet Johansson, Sebastian Stan, Anthony Mackie, Don Cheadle, Jeremy Renner, Chadwick Boseman, Tom Holland, Paul Rudd
CAPTAIN BLOOD
1935
**
In the 17th century, a doctor from England is taken abroad as a slave, but turns himself into a feared pirate.
Swash is very much buckled in this boisterous first vehicle for a young and lusty Flynn, who finds a splendid opposite in de Havilland. A little dated now of course, it's nevertheless a hearty action picture of many parts and some historical worth.
Dir: Michael Curtiz
Stars: Errol Flynn, Olivia de Havilland, Lionel Atwill, Basil Rathbone
CAPTAIN CORELLI’S MANDOLIN
2001
0
During World War 2, a young Greek woman falls in love with one of the Italian soldiers occupying her island of Kafelonia.
What was a richly rewarding novel has unfortunately been turned into a less than riveting feature which never really catches fire, partly due to the incompatibility of the leads.
Dir: John Madden
Stars: Nicolas Cage, Penelope Cruz, John Hurt, Christian Bale
CAPTAIN EO
1986
*
A space captain and his crew head to a desolate world to deliver a gift to a wicked queen.
Short film at one time only viewable at Disneyland or Disney World, where dazzling 3D special effects almost blew viewers out of their seats. Shame that Jackson has to sing.
Dir: Francis Ford Coppola
Stars: Michael Jackson, Anjelica Huston
CAPTAIN KIDD'S KIDS
1919
0
A rich young man imagines he is on board an all-female ship.
So-so Lloyd short in which his character comes across as callous, which dampens the humour.
Dir: Hal Roach
Stars: Harold Lloyd, Snub Pollard, Bebe Daniels
CAPTAIN KRONOS VAMPIRE HUNTER
1974
*
A sword-wielding vampire hunter discovers that the young women of a small village have been drained of their youth.
Fairly original Hammer production, a sometimes uneasy mix of styles, it didn't do much on (delayed) release but has found fans since. There are some very good individual sequences, and some nicely-composed imagery, even if it doesn't fully hang together.
Dir: Brian Clemens
Stars: Horst Janson, John Carson, Shane Briant, Caroline Munro, Ian Hendry
CAPTAIN MARVEL
2019
0
A young woman becomes a powerful superhero.
One of the weakest Marvel movies is a damp rag not so much because it's as irritatingly 'woke' as someone after 25 cups of coffee, but because the lead character has no charisma - and is unlikeable as Larson is in real life - the story is bland, the tone is inconsistent, the fights are rote and the villains aren't even villains, hence little tension or drama (a result of 'cultural relativism'). Another tiresome battleground in the culture wars, it makes Captain Marvel so powerful as to never be in danger - again, for PC reasons; in fact, all it has in its favour is some good Nineties songs on the soundtrack and impressive CGI 'de-ageing' of certain characters. Oh, and the cat.
Dir: Anna Boden, Ryan Fleck
Stars: Brie Larson, Samuel L Jackson, Ben Mendelsohn, Jude Law
CAPTAIN NEMO AND THE UNDERWATER CITY
1969
0
Survivors of a shipwreck are rescued by seafaring explorer Captain Nemo.
Good looking but uneventful fantasy, not in the same class as 20,000 Leagues Under The Sea.
Dir: James Hill
Stars: Robert Ryan, Chuck Connors, Nanette Newman, Bill Fraser, Kenneth Connor
CAPTAIN PHILLIPS
2013
*
Somalian pirates attack a US cargo ship.
The director doing what he seems to enjoy doing most, shaking a camera around while terrible and anxious scenes go on in front of it - it's certainly not a film for anyone with a nervous disposition. As well done as it is, one wonders what the main point of this stretched out movie is: the viewer could come to certain 'illiberal' conclusions - such as the threat from the third world to the first world - but the oh so liberal helmer would likely balk at that.
Dir: Paul Greengrass
Stars: Tom Hanks, Barkhad Abdi, Barkhad Abdirahman
CAPTAIN SINDBAD
1963
*
Sindbad battles an evil king whose heart is kept in a tower.
Passable fantasy with some inventive ideas colourfully put across.
Dir: Byron Haskin
Stars: Guy Williams, Heidi Bruhl, Rolf Wanka
CAPTAINS COURAGEOUS
1937
*
A spoilt brat learns some humility when he nearly drowns and is rescued by a boat of sailors.
Convoluted sentimental drama, big box office at the time.
Dir: Victor Fleming
Stars: Freddie Bartholomew, Spencer Tracy, Lionel Barrymore, Melvyn Douglas, Mickey Rooney, John Carradine
THE CAPTAIN’S PARADISE
1953
0
A ferryboat captain leads the perfect life by having a wife in two different ports.
Over-dry, disappointing comedy with the star at his most leisurely.
Dir: Anthony Kimmins
Stars: Alec Guinness, Yvonne De Carlo, Celia Johnson, Bill Fraser, Michael Balfour, Roger Delgado
THE CAPTAIN'S TABLE
1959
0
The captain of a tramp steamer is promoted to look after a cruise liner.
Flat comedy with few laughs; Gregson is the irritating side of the line that he often walked, but the script doesn't help him - pretty much only Joan Sims, in a brief appearance, is amusing, and the whole thing feels terribly archaic, despite treading a slightly saucier path than most British comedies before it. At least it's in colour.
Dir: Jack Lee
Stars: John Gregson, Peggy Cummins, Donald Sinden, Maurice Denham, Richard Wattis
CAPTIVE WILD WOMAN
1943
0
A mad scientist tries to transform a gorilla into a woman.
Nutty horror which demonstrated that Universal wasn't making the quality horror pictures they had done in the years previously. And never in the field of human filmmaking has there been so much footage of a lion/tiger-tamer in one place (some of it stock footage from an older film) - it saturates the narrative. The movie somehow gets a fair bit of attention online these days - and two sequels followed!
Dir: Edward Dmytryk
Stars: John Carradine, Evelyn Ankers, Milburn Stone, Acquanetta
CAPTIVE WOMEN
1952
0
Warring tribes in the year 3000 fight over women.
Poorly titled sci-fi (it makes it sound like a jungle movie; 3000AD was a better, alternate title), sadly inert and mostly unambitious, even though its idea of a ravaged, post-apoc population was quite new. It makes little of it.
Dir: Stuart Gilmore
Stars: Robert Clarke, Margaret Field, Gloria SaundersCAPTURING THE FRIEDMANS
2003
**
Documentary about a Jewish family that fell apart after the father was accused of child abuse.
Extraordinary tale recounted in a non-judgemental manner; a mix of candid home movie footage and more recent interviews, it frequently wrong-foots the viewer and even - amazingly - raises some laughs.
Dir: Andrew Jarecki
Stars: The Friedmans
THE CAR
1977
0
A possessed vehicle terrorises the inhabitants of a town.
Silly and dull, but might serve a use as a sort of 'junior horror' film.
Dir: Elliot Silverstein
Stars: James Brolin, Kathleen Lloyd, R G Armstrong
2003
**
Documentary about a Jewish family that fell apart after the father was accused of child abuse.
Extraordinary tale recounted in a non-judgemental manner; a mix of candid home movie footage and more recent interviews, it frequently wrong-foots the viewer and even - amazingly - raises some laughs.
Dir: Andrew Jarecki
Stars: The Friedmans
THE CAR
1977
0
A possessed vehicle terrorises the inhabitants of a town.
Silly and dull, but might serve a use as a sort of 'junior horror' film.
Dir: Elliot Silverstein
Stars: James Brolin, Kathleen Lloyd, R G Armstrong
CARAVAGGIO
1986
0
The life of the 17th century painter, with an emphasis on his scandals and lustful behaviour.
One of our most unendurable directors makes another painful to watch film which doesn't tell you much about Caravaggio, or even inspire you to find out more about him. Steeped in homosexual imagery and determined to be quirky and unconventional, it's unlikeable and tiresome, if undeniably confident despite its low budget.
Dir: Derek Jarman
Stars: Nigel Terry, Sean Bean, Tilda Swinton, Dexter Fletcher, Michael Gough
THE CARDINAL
1963
**
The life of a young man from Boston who rises to become a cardinal.
Years later Richard Dawkins would not unfairly call Catholicism the world's second most evil religion and this historical drama does touch on some of its defects, including the Church's collaboration with the Nazis and one particular decision by the lead character that is grotesque, but it doesn't lambaste it too much. Its scope is certainly impressive, taking in prejudice in the American South along with the rise of the Third Reich, abortion and multiple sclerosis. A more assured lead actor (Montgomery Clift?) would have anchored it better, and the narrative is a little sluggish, but it's impressively cinematic in its sweep, with careful attention to detail.
Dir: Otto Preminger
Stars: Tom Tryon, John Huston, Romy Schneider, Carol Lynley, Dorothy Gish
CAREER GIRLS
1997
**
Two student friends meet up six years after leaving university, still carrying a lot of emotional baggage.
Well observed comic drama, valuable viewing for ex-students, particularly those from the north who have come south. Some of the characters are irritating and there’s a surfeit of twitchy overacting, but the story, about friendship, time moving on and unfulfilled dreams, strongly resonates.
Dir: Mike Leigh
Stars: Katrin Cartlidge, Lynda Steadman, Mark Benton, Andy Serkis, Kate Byers
CARLITO’S WAY
1993
***
A former gangster attempts to go straight but is sucked back into his old ways.
Overlong and slow in parts it may be, but this thriller is still accomplished moviemaking: the last 25 minutes or so are outstanding cinema. What rarely wavers are the strong performances and the vivid sense of place - these things, and a solid story with some finely choreographed action sequences, make it among both the better modern gangster movies and De Palma's repertoire. My, what nasty people the folk in this movie are.
Dir: Brian De Palma
Stars: Al Pacino, Sean Penn, Penelope Ann Miller, John Leguizamo, Viggo Mortensen
CARLTON-BROWNE OF THE FO
1959
*
A British diplomat heads to a tiny Pacific island after the death of their king.
Not among the strongest of the Boulting brothers’ satires: the occasional slapstick moments provide light relief in a dull, contorted plot, and no one's at their best, with second-billed Sellers given very little to do. A brief Irene Handl cameo tickles the funny bone in a patchy movie.
Dir: Roy Boulting, Jeffrey Dell
Stars: Terry-Thomas, Peter Sellers, Luciana Paluzzi, Ian Bannen, Thorley Walters, John Le Mesurier
CARMEN JONES
1954
*
A soldier falls in love with a fiery temptress.
Many folk in 2018 might be surprised that this musical, in which literally every single face is black, was a big hit and won the Golden Globe for Best Musical/Comedy in its year. It's an accessible movie, shot in long takes, with fine tunes courtesy of Bizet and committed performances - though it never truly rivets.
Dir: Otto Preminger
Stars: Dorothy Dandridge, Harry Belafonte, Pearl Bailey
CARNAGE
2011
0
Two couples whose children have been involved in a fight meet to discuss the incident.
Tedious, unbelievable and irritating one-set drama: tedious because it consists of unlikeable people squabbling for an hour and a quarter; unbelievable because both couples are totally ill-matched and also because the encounter goes on for so long; irritating because of the above and its many little irksome features, like Waltz on the phone, Reilly's voice and Foster's over-acting. You can get away with this sort of rubbish in the theatre but not at the cinema.
Dir: Roman Polanski
Stars: Jodie Foster, Kate Winslet, Christoph Waltz, John C Reilly
CARNAL KNOWLEDGE
1971
**
Two college room-mates go from one unsuccessful relationship to another.
Smartly scripted character study, very well acted.
Dir: Mike Nichols
Stars: Jack Nicholson, Candice Bergen, Art Garfunkel, Ann-Margret
CARNIVAL OF SOULS
1962
**
After a car accident, a woman appears to be plagued by a strange phantom figure.
A prime example of a movie made for peanuts that over time came to be judged as a cult classic - whether it accidentally ended up as effective as it is, is beside the point, as the director and his cast and crew managed to conjure up a haunting, dreamlike poem of a horror film that has much unsettling imagery and presents a story that can be read as an individual alone in the world struggling to find a meaningful existence, battling life's vicissitudes (and possibly almost as afraid of men as Repulsion's heroine). However much was intended, it deserves some plaudits for its unusual, otherworldly atmosphere.
Dir: Herk Harvey
Stars: Candace Hilligoss, Sidney Berger, Frances Feist
CAROL
2015
*
In 1950s New York, a department store girl falls for an older wealthy woman.
Another study of forbidden love that is perhaps too subtle, too refined in its treatment of the subject: the human emotions sometimes struggle to come through to the audience with the impact that they might. Do the pair really have passion for one another?
Dir: Todd Haynes
Stars: Cate Blanchett, Rooney Mara, Sarah Paulson, Kyle Chandler
CAROUSEL
1956
*
A carnival worker who has died is sent back down to Earth to make amends for the mistakes he made.
Stolid and humourless musical better suited to the stage.
Dir: Henry King
Stars: Gordon MacRae, Shirley Jones, Cameron Mitchell
CARQUAKE
1976
0
Competitors take part in a coast-to-coast race across America.
Pretty much nothing but car chases and random violence - fun for the intoxicated.
Dir: Paul Bartel
Stars: David Carradine, Robert Carradine, Bill McKinney, Dick Miller
CARRIE
1976
***
A college student with telekinetic powers takes revenge on her tormentors.
Influential shocker with lashings of style, it is definitely the director's best contribution to the horror genre: the story is expertly told, ensuring that our heart goes out to poor Carrie - Sissy Spacek's superb performance helps - and the finale's retributive carnage is well worth waiting for. Pino Donaggio's score also assists in cranking up the tension, and there are many sequences that have become classics.
Dir: Brian De Palma
Stars: Sissy Spacek, Piper Laurie, Amy Irving, Nancy Allen, John Travolta, P J Soles
CARRINGTON
1995
0
The story of the relationship between painter Dora Carrington and author Lytton Strachey.
Plaintive drama played out in a series of bitty short scenes.
Dir: Christopher Hampton
Stars: Emma Thompson, Jonathan Pryce, Rufus Sewell
CARRY ON ADMIRAL
1957
0
A politician and a sea admiral get drunk and accidentally swap jobs.
Wordy farce with an improbable and tiresome premise. Not connected with the official Carry On series, its title has probably ensured some sort of extra longevity.
Dir: Val Guest
Stars: David Tomlinson, Brian Reece, Peggy Cummins, A E Matthews, Joan Sims
THE CARRY ON FILMS, IN CHRONOLOGICAL ORDER:
CARRY ON SERGEANT
1958
*
A platoon of hopeless servicemen are put through their paces in order to win a 'star squad' prize.
The inauspicious first in the series and the cleanest of the lot; essentially a modest comedy brightened up by familiar faces. Something of an inoffensive plod, it is nevertheless a fairly valuable record of English life at the time, when young men were called up to do National Service - the exploits presented here illicit the odd laugh but there's little to suggest that this would be the start of one of Britain's most-loved, and sauciest, comedy franchises.
Dir: Gerald Thomas
Stars: William Hartnell, Bob Monkhouse, Kenneth Connor, Charles Hawtrey, Kenneth Williams, Hattie Jacques, Shirley Eaton, Eric Barker, Norman Rossington, Bill Owen, Terry Scott
CARRY ON NURSE
1959
*
Life on a hospital ward where the male patients get up to mischief.
The Great British hospital gets its first Carry On airing in this bright comedy that was a surprise hit in the US. Viewed today it's a quaint relic - almost everything it says and does is different to what we have now, while its episodic nature and confined setting don't feel at all cinematic. Compared to later entries, the innuendo is extremely mild, and there aren't a huge amount of laughs either.
Dir: Gerald Thomas
Stars: Kenneth Williams, Kenneth Connor, Charles Hawtrey, Shirley Eaton, Hattie Jacques, Joan Sims, Leslie Phillips, Wilfrid Hyde-White, Irene Handl
CARRY ON TEACHER
1959
0
School pupils attempt to blacken their headmaster's reputation in order to stop him from getting a new job.
The plot of the third Carry On is essentially: children playing numerous tricks on their teachers, with a subplot of two adults getting romantically involved; so it's pretty thin, simplistic stuff, and confined, but there are still a few laugh out loud moments (Hawtrey is on especially good form). The chaotic play at the end - possibly one of the inspirations for The Play That Goes Wrong - is amusing, although the discordant music that accompanies it is a little off-putting. It's interesting that the film's subtext is a frowning on 'progressive' attitudes to children's education, and the makers might have been right to do so.
Dir: Gerald Thomas
Stars: Ted Ray, Kenneth Williams, Joan Sims, Charles Hawtrey, Kenneth Connor, Hattie Jacques, Leslie Phillips, Rosalind Knight, Richard O'Sullivan
CARRY ON CONSTABLE
1960
0
After a flu epidemic leaves a police station short, four incompetent trainees step up to become full-time bobbies.
Broken up, plotless knockabout whose comic situations now seem obvious and tiresome. Welcome on board Sid, though.
Dir: Gerald Thomas
Stars: Sidney James, Kenneth Williams, Charles Hawtrey, Kenneth Connor, Hattie Jacques, Joan Sims, Leslie Phillips, Eric Barker, Irene Handl
CARRY ON REGARDLESS
1961
0
A good deeds agency falls into chaos when the wrong jobs are assigned to different helpers.
An episodic series of meaningless, mostly unconnected sketches that only occasionally hit the funny bone.
Dir: Gerald Thomas
Stars: Sidney James, Kenneth Connor, Kenneth Williams, Joan Sims, Charles Hawtrey, Hattie Jacques, Liz Fraser, Stanley Unwin, Bill Owen
CARRY ON CRUISING
1962
0
A cruise ship is full of incompetent shipmates and strange passengers.
Colour comes to the Carry Ons, but laughs pretty much desert it in a rambling, ambling film without much of a point and zero feel of an exotic cruise. Eccentric little Esma Cannon provides the most amusing moments, while Connor is as irritating as he sometimes was. This was the last Carry On script by Normas Huddis - the funnier and saucier Talbot Rothwell replaced him.
Dir: Gerald Thomas
Stars: Sidney James, Kenneth Williams, Kenneth Connor, Liz Fraser, Dilys Laye, Esma Cannon, Lance Percival
CARRY ON CABBY
1963
*
A woman sets up a female driver-only cab enterprise that threatens to put her husband's cab firm out of business.
Probably the best of the early Carry Ons, it can stand up by itself as a well drilled comic caper thanks to a proper(ish) plot and some funny moments. It says more than it could know about the sex roles of the time. There's nice location shooting of south-east England as it was then.
Dir: Gerald Thomas
Stars: Sidney James, Hattie Jacques, Kenneth Connor, Charles Hawtrey, Liz Fraser, Bill Owen, Milo O'Shea, Jim Dale
CARRY ON JACK
1963
0
A newly commissioned midshipman joins a lively frigate sailing through Spanish waters.
They started to stretch things here, the gang (well, there's not many of them in this entry), attempting their first period comedy, and it does actually look quite handsome, with nice costumes and ships; plus, Talbot Rothwell does his first proper Carry On script (Cabby was adapted) and Williams gets to broaden his repertoire. The trouble is that it does miss some familiar faces and the laughs aren't as frequent as in some entries. They certainly plotted it though, even if it's nuts that the beautiful Mills could pass for a male.
Dir: Gerald Thomas
Stars: Kenneth Williams, Bernard Cribbins, Juliet Mills, Charles Hawtrey, Donald Houston, Jim Dale
CARRY ON SPYING
1964
0
Agents go after STENCH (the Society for the Total Extinction of Non-Conforming Humans) who have stolen a top secret chemical formula.
Getting more ambitious, the gang spoofed the then popular spy movie genre with fair results: it's an energetic, good-humoured romp with a variety of comic set-pieces, even if there's too much of Williams being nasal. Generally, the performances lift something that might have looked dire on page. How much you enjoy it could depend on your reaction to scenes such as the one in the prison cell, where Cribbins thinks he's escaped only to emerge from another hole in the cell, or the one where he pretends he's a woman.
Dir: Gerald Thomas
Stars: Kenneth Williams, Charles Hawtrey, Barbara Windsor, Bernard Cribbins, Jim Dale, Eric Barker, Dilys Laye
CARRY ON CLEO
1964
**
Mark Antony plots with Egyptian queen Cleopatra to off his friend Julius Caesar.
This was perhaps when the Carry On films came of age, as Cleo exudes confidence and fun while utilising fine ensemble playing which sees the main stars slipping into their funniest and most relatable personas - it's also helped by good-looking borrowed sets and costumes which almost give it an air of opulence. Sure, the dialogue alternates between groanworthy cracks and bright gags, but this is a bustling, nice-natured and unrepentantly British comedy that may be repeated on TV for some time to come.
Dir: Gerald Thomas
Stars: Sidney James, Kenneth Williams, Charles Hawtrey, Kenneth Connor, Joan Sims, Jim Dale, Amanda Barrie
CARRY ON COWBOY
1965
*
A plumber is mistaken for the law marshal of Stodge City, a town in the grip of the notorious Rumpo Kid.
The team continued to branch out into different areas, and this entry generally comes up trumps: the cast is bright, able and willing, the jokes are frequent (and slightly ruder than before), the setting feels reasonably 'authentic', and it works as a send-up of the Western genre that was so big at the time.
Dir: Gerald Thomas
Stars: Sidney James, Kenneth Williams, Jim Dale, Joan Sims, Angela Douglas, Charles Hawtrey, Peter Butterworth, Bernard Bresslaw
CARRY ON SCREAMING!
1966
*
The fiendish Dr Watt is kidnapping young ladies and turning them into shop mannequins.
This tends to be one of the most fondly spoken about Carry Ons even though it's not among the very best - what it does well is capture the garish period look of Hammer horrors of the time while having its splendid cast come out with lines that range from corny and groan-worthy to rather funny. If it's a smidgeon too long its supporters will likely not complain.
Dir: Gerald Thomas
Stars: Harry H Corbett, Kenneth Williams, Jim Dale, Fenella Fielding, Peter Butterworth, Joan Sims, Charles Hawtrey, Bernard Bresslaw, Angela Douglas
CARRY ON... DON'T LOSE YOUR HEAD
1966
*
Two English noblemen, Sir Rodney Ffing and Lord Darcy, go to the aid of their aristocratic cousins being butchered in the French Revolution.
Lively spoof of The Scarlet Pimpernel with some fair laughs. Like most Carry Ons its main selling point is the regulars' performances and like most Carry Ons it outstays its welcome somewhat - the climactic sword fight is way too long, for instance.
Dir: Gerald Thomas
Stars: Sidney James, Kenneth Williams, Jim Dale, Charles Hawtrey, Joan Sims, Peter Butterworth
CARRY ON... FOLLOW THAT CAMEL
1967
*
An English gentleman joins the Foreign Legion when he thinks he has lost his true love.
Phil Silvers and the 'foreign' setting make this one of the least British-feeling entries, and one that tends to produce smiles rather than big laughs; despite being shot on Camber Sands it looks pretty good and the likes of Dale, Williams and Bresslaw are all more than game. There's no way a film like this would be shown on prime-time now, with its various racial and sexual proclivities.
Dir: Gerald Thomas
Stars: Phil Silvers, Jim Dale, Kenneth Williams, Charles Hawtrey, Joan Sims, Bernard Bresslaw, Peter Butterworth, Angela Douglas
CARRY ON DOCTOR
1967
**
Francis Bigger, a lecturer in self-healing, ends up in a chaotic hospital after falling on his coccyx.
Eight years after Carry On Nurse it was back to the hospital for much broader humour, with all the regulars bar Connor joined by Howerd, who is predictably wonderful and fits in perfectly. It starts exceptionally brightly and continues in an enjoyable manner, perhaps going on for slightly too long by its close - but we've had many top moments by then, including 'what a lovely looking pear', the marriage ceremony afflicted by deafness, Williams and Jacques talking about 'once a week', and much more: it's all so very British, and one day will look like a museum piece, so much will the country have changed.
Dir: Gerald Thomas
Stars: Frankie Howerd, Kenneth Williams, Sidney James, Hattie Jacques, Joan Sims, Charles Hawtrey, Jim Dale, Barbara Windsor, Bernard Bresslaw, Peter Butterworth
CARRY ON UP THE KHYBER
1968
**
The British, under Sir Sidney Ruff-Diamond, come up against Indian rebels at the Khyber Pass.
One of the very best of the series, with plenty of memorable comic set-pieces, one-liners and performances. Indeed, many of its elements - the 'devils in skirts', the under-fire dinner, 'tiffin' - and dialogue - 'Fakir - off!', 'rank stupidity', 'the British are used to cuts' - have attained near-classic status; full of confidence and vigour, it also offers some slightly subtle comment on the British and Empire.
Dir: Gerald Thomas
Stars: Sidney James, Kenneth Williams, Joan Sims, Charles Hawtrey, Terry Scott, Roy Castle, Bernard Bresslaw, Peter Butterworth
CARRY ON CAMPING
1969
***
Several different sorts of campers converge on a rainy campsite.
Perhaps the quintessential Carry On film, where virtually all the marvellous regulars come together in delightful fashion to do their thing in a cold field in England. Yes, it's low art but as a production it's full of joy and sunshine, totally unpretentious and infectiously good-natured, and as perfect an encapsulation of British saucy postcard humour and of-its-time morals as one could wish for. Sometimes it's genuinely hilarious too.
Dir: Gerald Thomas
Stars: Sidney James, Kenneth Williams, Joan Sims, Charles Hawtrey, Terry Scott, Barbara Windsor, Hattie Jacques, Bernard Bresslaw, Peter Butterworth, Betty Marsden, Julian Holloway
CARRY ON AGAIN DOCTOR
1969
*
Dr Nookey is sent to the remote island of Gladstone Screwer, who gives him a special slimming potion.
Back to hospital, but the elements don’t come together quite so well this time. Perhaps that's because the hospital is only a partial part of the [somewhat unusual] plot, but probably more because it somehow just doesn't have the ebullient feel of some of the liveliest entries - no one seems to be going at full pelt, or madly into their role (and thus they feel less sympathetic). Still, there are a few memorable scenes, such as Dale on the trolley and Windsor in her micro-bikini.
Dir: Gerald Thomas
Stars: Jim Dale, Sidney James, Kenneth Williams, Charles Hawtrey, Joan Sims, Barbara Windsor, Hattie Jacques, Patsy Rowlands, Peter Butterworth
CARRY ON UP THE JUNGLE
1970
*
An upper class woman mounts a trip to the jungle to find her long lost son.
Middling Tarzan spoof with a few choice moments, such as the scene with the under the table shenanigans and the tent/partner confusion, plus Scott's turn as Ugh the jungle boy and Hawtrey's as Tonka of Aphrodisia. Wearing its cheapness on its sleeve, it's just an excuse for talented comic performers to make pleasingly un-PC cracks relating to sex, and pretty much does it job.
Dir: Gerald Thomas
Stars: Sidney James, Frankie Howerd, Joan Sims, Kenneth Connor, Charles Hawtrey, Terry Scott, Bernard Bresslaw, Jacki Piper, Valerie Leon
CARRY ON LOVING
1970
0
A dating agency throws up some unsuitable and tricky matches.
A Carry On with some laughs - Bresslaw in particular raises titters as aggressive wrestler Gripper - but some less than rapturous situations, such as that in the flat when Terry Scott is trying to get lucky, plus the what-else-can-we-do? custard pie fight at the end. 'It' meaning sex becomes tiresome. It's generally a little tired while at the same time trying to find new life by tapping into the new sexual dawn of the Seventies - in that sense it's a minor time capsule. But a minor one. Funny that's there's a brief hospital sequence.
Dir: Gerald Thomas
Stars: Sidney James, Hattie Jacques, Kenneth Williams, Joan Sims, Charles Hawtrey, Terry Scott, Bernard Bresslaw, Richard O'Callaghan, Jacki Piper, Peter Butterworth
CARRY ON HENRY
1971
*
The life and times of King Henry VIII and his chopper.
Saucy fun with Sid playing a role that he was surely born to do. Otherwise this entry feels a tad claustrophobic and at times monotonous - there are a lot of talkative scenes with actors in medium shot; so while the costumes are splendiferous it doesn't feel too cinematic. Perhaps a witty, dead-pan narrator making occasional comments would have helped?
Dir: Gerald Thomas
Stars: Sidney James, Kenneth Williams, Joan Sims, Charles Hawtrey, Terry Scott, Barbara Windsor, Kenneth Connor, Julian Holloway, Peter Butterworth
CARRY ON AT YOUR CONVENIENCE
1971
*
Unions cause trouble at a toilet manufacturers, WC Boggs.
Amiable farce with frequent digs at militant trade unions, it feels like a near-plotless ragbag of bits and pieces they were looking to get on screen, including a trip to the seaside, which is among the brighter spots: there's a lot of parochial domestic scenes and a ridiculous amount of times the word 'it' is inferred to mean 'sex' - those unfamiliar with the Carry Ons will presumably be mystified.
Dir: Gerald Thomas
Stars: Sidney James, Kenneth Williams, Joan Sims, Charles Hawtrey, Hattie Jacques, Bernard Bresslaw, Kenneth Cope, Patsy Rowlands, Richard O'Callaghan
CARRY ON MATRON
1972
*
A criminal gang attempt to steal contraceptive pills from a hospital, which involves one of their number having to dress up as a nurse.
The fourth and final visit to a hospital for the Carry On crew, this one's kept afloat by the wonderfully camp interactions between Williams, Jacques and Hawtrey - the silly plot not so much. Scott's lecherous doctor makes mildly uncomfortable viewing but most of the sex-based jokes and puns still raise a smile, if rarely a guffaw.
Dir: Gerald Thomas
Stars: Sidney James, Kenneth Williams, Hattie Jacques, Charles Hawtrey, Terry Scott, Kenneth Cope, Barbara Windsor, Joan Sims, Bernard Bresslaw, Kenneth Connor, Valerie Leon
CARRY ON ABROAD
1972
**
Holidaymakers endure a chaotic stay at a Spanish resort.
One of the key entries, in that it stars all of the main regulars and utilises a warm theme, that of English holidaymakers heading to sunnier climes on a package deal; cosy, sexy and joyful, with a final happy scene that seems like a farewell to a better way of life.
Dir: Gerald Thomas
Stars: Sidney James, Kenneth Williams, Joan Sims, Kenneth Connor, June Whitfield, Charles Hawtrey, Barbara Windsor, Hattie Jacques, Bernard Bresslaw, Peter Butterworth, Jack Douglas, Sally Geeson
CARRY ON GIRLS
1973
*
Feminists attempt to stop a beauty contest being held in their town.
Shot in Brighton, this is in some ways the most typical Carry On film, with plenty of seaside saucy humour and many laughs - it manages to be sexy and cosy (although ITV3's cut version does its best to trim the naughtiest bits, absurdly). Jack Douglas and his physical jerks are hilarious, while Jimmy Logan as Cecil Gaybody is also an asset. Viewed 50 years later in a time of deranged gender madness its sub plot of a male impostor at a female beauty contest raises some wry smiles. Generally energetic, happy and 'on-message', it curiously lets the feminists get the upper hand by the end - a nod to changing times?
Dir: Gerald Thomas
Stars: Sidney James, Joan Sims, Barbara Windsor, Kenneth Connor, Bernard Bresslaw, Peter Butterworth, June Whitfield, Jack Douglas, Patsy Rowlands
CARRY ON DICK
1974
*
Highway menace Dick Turpin is also the respected vicar of a village parish.
The last James/Jacques/Windsor one, and the last period one (of the original series), is a rude, rib-tickling romp that sees the crew play together in affectionate fashion in a cannily recreated olde England. Most fun in the opening half hour, before it tires a little, it was also writer Talbot Rothwell’s final Carry On script, and he was much missed.
Dir: Gerald Thomas
Stars: Sidney James, Kenneth Williams, Barbara Windsor, Hattie Jacques, Bernard Bresslaw, Joan Sims, Peter Butterworth, Kenneth Connor, Jack Douglas, Patsy Rowlands
CARRY ON BEHIND
1975
*
Archaeologists and holidaymakers come together at a seedy campsite.
Likeable smut, the last of the series worth bothering with despite a general feeling that it isn’t quite the same thing as before; the script may frequently be lame, directionless and derivative, but there are enough impudent double entendres to bring the laughs.
Dir: Gerald Thomas
Stars: Kenneth Williams, Elke Sommer, Joan Sims, Bernard Bresslaw, Kenneth Connor, Peter Butterworth, Jack Douglas, Windsor Davies, Patsy Rowlands, Liz Fraser
CARRY ON ENGLAND
1976
0
During World War 2, a mixed sex barracks proves to be a disaster.
Abysmal farce full of unfamiliar faces and bad jokes. One of the many problems with this film, that delivered a near-mortal blow to the series, is that the setting is so restricted and mundane, and even the costumes - which are all, essentially, the same - add to the feeling of dullness and uniformity. Davies annoyingly yells, Connor gets flustered, Sims is nearly redundant, only Douglas raises the odd smile with his twitching routine; with its disappointing cast, poor plot and cheap look, it might well be the very worst Carry On.
Dir: Gerald Thomas
Stars: Kenneth Connor, Windsor Davies, Patrick Mower, Judy Geeson, Joan Sims, Jack Douglas, Peter Butterworth, Melvyn Hayes
CARRY ON EMMANNUELLE
1978
0
The wife of the French ambassador, Emmannuelle Prevert, takes a string of lovers.
From the opening credits that roll over the scene on the plane, this feels like a completely different Carry On to any that's gone before, as does the more overtly sexual tale that follows, and there are a number of script decisions that just feel very wrong, such as Williams eventually becoming a great lover or Douglas as a bit of a smoothie. In trying to be ruder there are firsts for the series that sit awkwardly - Beryl Reid's reference to masturbation; a possible 'coming' double entendre on the plane etc - but what actually sinks it, makes it one of the very worst, is that much of it is just incredibly lame: the mid-section for example, where the characters sit at the table and recall amorous exploits, is just desperately poor and dreadfully banal. Strangely fascinating in its way, and one of the more titillating Carry Ons because of Danielle (they actually should have gone even sexier to give it a point), it's nevertheless a plotless disaster that was seen by few.
Dir: Gerald Thomas
Stars: Kenneth Williams, Suzanne Danielle, Kenneth Connor, Joan Sims, Peter Butterworth, Jack Douglas, Larry Dann
CARRY ON COLUMBUS
1992
0
Christopher Columbus's plans to navigate a route to the East are troubled by a spy in his midst.
And so the Carry On series comes to its inglorious conclusion. A film that probably never should have been made, it was always going to be vulnerable to a series of criticisms - that comedy has moved on, that many of the old faces are gone, that it just couldn't be very good. Many of the (too numerous) performances and bits of the script actually aren't terrible but it just never lifts off and well before the end the thin tale has crumbled. Most of its jokes are pretty well worn and there's an ersatz vibe. Bresslaw, Windsor, Connor and Sims were all still alive at the time but sadly were not enlisted - maybe they would have improved it slightly. Maybe. Slightly.
Dir: Gerald Thomas
Stars: Jim Dale, Julian Clary, Bernard Cribbins, Sara Crowe, Maureen Lipman, Peter Richardson, Jack Douglas, Alexei Sayle, Leslie Phillips, June Whitfield, Richard Wilson, Keith Allen, Rik Mayall, Nigel Planer
CARVE HER NAME WITH PRIDE
1958
*
During World War Two a young mother is recruited for a dangerous mission in occupied France.
The tone is a little inconsistent, and the drama sometimes quite mild, but this is a notable example of Fifties British cinema tackling the War, aided by a plucky lead performance from McKenna as the brave and principled Violette Szabo.
Dir: Lewis Gilbert
Stars: Virginia McKenna, Paul Scofield, Jack Warner, Denise Grey
LA CASA DE LAS MUJERES PERDIDAS
1983
0
A strange family lives an incestuous existence on a remote island.
Like many Franco films, this could have been darkly fascinating, but the director's only skill is shooting naked women in arousing ways - there's almost nothing else here.
Dir: Jess Franco
Stars: Lina Romay, Antonio Mayans, Carmen Carrion
CASABLANCA
1943
****
Rick Blaine, who owns a nightclub in Casablanca, discovers his old flame Ilsa is in town.
Classic studio-bound drama, one of the best films ever made, a melting pot of intrigue, romance, suspense and humour as delivered by a meritorious cast and crew. One of the most quotable and famous movies there is, it's been said that it became a masterpiece thanks to 90% sheer professionalism and 10% luck, which sounds plausible: like life on Earth, if just a tiny something had been different in its conception, it wouldn't have been the same thing at all. It's certainly done anything but date - will it ever date?
Dir: Michael Curtiz
Stars: Humphrey Bogart, Ingrid Bergman, Paul Henreid, Claude Rains, Conrad Veidt, Sydney Greenstreet, Peter Lorre
CASANOVA ’70
1965
0
A man gets a thrill from putting himself into sexual situations where he is in danger.
Stagnant and stifling Italian sex comedy that’s horribly stretched out, probably because they spent a lot of money on it and wanted to get value for money. Very European, very garrulous, very tedious and very annoying, it somehow makes you recall one of those mind-numbing, seemingly never ending Sundays you endured as a child.
Dir: Mario Monicelli
Stars: Marcello Mastroianni, Virna Lisi, Marisa Mell
THE CASE OF CHARLES PEACE
1949
0
A small-time businessman becomes a thief and a killer.
Odd and unappealing crime melodrama in which the narration clashes with the courtroom structure - both drain it of suspense, and the irritating lead performance doesn't help. A chap with the splendid name of Christmas Humphreys supervised the trial scenes.
Dir: Norman Lee
Stars: Michael Martin Harvey, Chili Bouchier, Valentine Dyall, Bruce Belfrage
THE CASE OF THE BLOODY IRIS
1972
*
Two women move into an apartment where violent murders have occurred.
Suitably nutty giallo in which Fenech looks as beautiful as ever but appears only able to wear a single, frightened expression; way behind the worst Hitchcock suspenser but fans of this sort of thing will find most of the genre's iconography pleasingly intact.
Dir: Giuliano Carnimeo
Stars: Edwige Fenech, George Hilton, Annabella Incontrera
THE CASE OF THE CURIOUS BRIDE
1935
0
Perry Mason meets an old flame who draws him into a blackmail case.
Functional mystery, one of a series of Perry Mason pictures.
Dir: Michael Curtiz
Stars: Warren William, Margaret Lindsay, Errol Flynn
THE CASE OF THE MUKKINESE BATTLE-HORN
1956
**
A priceless relic, the Mukkinese Battle-Horn, is lost.
A lively, surreal half hour in the company of some of The Goons. Made for just £4,000, it's jam-packed with gags delivered by comic masters whose expressions amuse even before they speak.
Dir: Joseph Sterling
Stars: Peter Sellers, Spike Milligan, Dick Emery
THE CASE OF THE WHITECHAPEL VAMPIRE
2002 (TV)
0
Sherlock Holmes investigates a murder by what may be a vampire.
The slightly irksome Frewer's fourth trip out as Holmes is another less than exquisite Hallmark production, all chewy dialogue and cast and crew interpreting Conan Doyle wrongly - the inference that the supernatural is involved is especially irritating.
Dir: Rodney Gibbons
Stars: Matt Frewer, Kenneth Welsh, Julian Casey
CASH ON DEMAND
1961
**
A bank manager is confronted by an ingenious gentleman robber.
Good, twisty minor thriller from Hammer, almost entirely set in a bank; it's talky but well acted and generates some tension. Its debt to A Christmas Carol is evident, and the snow and the old Englishness displayed imbue affection.
Dir: Quentin Lawrence
Stars: Peter Cushing, Andre Morell, Richard Vernon, Norman Bird, Kevin Stoney
CASHBACK
2004
**
A supermarket night shift worker passes the time in an unusual manner.
Observant, piquant short with a heady erotic charge; it won several awards and two years later the director expanded it into a feature.
Dir: Sean Ellis
Stars: Sean Biggerstaff, Emilia Fox, Stuart Goodwin, Michael Dixon, Keeley Hazell
CASHBACK
2006
**
An expanded version of the above, with more attention now paid to the lead character’s love life.
A certain something has been lost in the inflating of the short, and some of the content now feels inconsequential, but it’s a pleasant, reflective whimsy that’s a lot more sweet-natured and insouciant than many modern British films.
Dir: Sean Ellis
Stars: Sean Biggerstaff, Emilia Fox, Shaun Evans, Michelle Ryan
CASINO
1995
***
A mob-connected casino operator finds it difficult to lead a crime-free life.
Scorsese with all the stops pulled out; extremely nasty but flawlessly done.
Dir: Martin Scorsese
Stars: Robert De Niro, Sharon Stone, Joe Pesci, James Woods
CASINO ROYALE
1967
0
Sir James Bond comes out of retirement to take on SMERSH.
A fractured, stupid fantasy pretending to be an adaptation of Ian Fleming's first James Bond novel, saddled by a disastrous production that spawned a film that bewilders and bores.
Dir: Val Guest, Ken Hughes, John Huston, Joseph McGrath, Robert Parrish
Stars: David Niven, Peter Sellers, Ursula Andress, Orson Welles, Woody Allen, Deborah Kerr, John Huston
CASINO ROYALE
2006
**
James Bond's first mission as 007 is stop a banker funding terrorist activities.
It's a bit too long, but this reboot of the Bond franchise can be decreed a success, and it's certainly different to any of the previous films: big action sequences, apart from fist fights, aren't as plentiful as before, there are virtually no gadgets and 007's relationship with the main girl really means something, for starters. It may not be easy to understand exactly what's going on in the central card game sometimes but it's a mature and intelligent movie which has Craig fit into the role straight away and doesn't stint on the foreign locations or general high technical quality. The character's safe for a while yet.
Dir: Martin Campbell
Stars: Daniel Craig, Eva Green, Mads Mikkelsen, Caterina Murino, Jeffrey Wright, Judi Dench
THE CASSANDRA CROSSING
1976
*
A plague-infested train journeys across central Europe.
Disaster spectacular with 'Big Brother' overtones, quite exciting when it feels like it.
Dir: George P Cosmatos
Stars: Sophia Loren, Richard Harris, Martin Sheen, O J Simpson, Ava Gardner, Burt Lancaster
CASSANDRA’S DREAM
2007
*
Two brothers with money problems are offered a way out of their troubles, but it involves murder.
The third of Allen’s London films (following Match Point and Scoop) is a not altogether successful attempt at a thriller modelled on a Greek tragedy: the trouble is that much of the dialogue is utterly abysmal, the worst Allen has ever written, the plot stretches credibility hugely, there's the occasional fluffed line and it feels rather hoary and trite. Little rings true; even the characters’ names don’t seem quite right. Despite all this, it’s reasonably watchable - although it's too long and flabby - with bright, extensive location shooting (which may reduce atmosphere) and a smattering of nice ideas.
Dir: Woody Allen
Stars: Ewan McGregor, Colin Farrell, Hayley Atwell, Sally Hawkins, Tom Wilkinson, Phil Davis
CASTAWAY
1986
**
A middle-aged man, bored with life, advertises for a woman to share a tropical island existence together.
Based on a true story, this enticing drama tackles something many have mused upon: what would it be like to escape humdrum existence and live in deserted, exotic surroundings - would it be paradise? Can men and women live together in harmony? Roeg's well shot film answers some of these questions, given personality by Reed's eccentric performance and the beautiful Donohoe's extensive naturalistic nudity, and while it's not a total success, it's a diverting - and often erotic - experience. Perhaps there's a little too much female-focused angst, a little too much Roeg-like oddness?
Dir: Nicolas Roeg
Stars: Oliver Reed, Amanda Donohoe
CASTLE IN THE SKY
1986
**
A young girl with a magic crystal is hunted by foreign agents and pirates.
One of the most accessible animes for Western viewers, this good-looking adventure has exciting set-pieces, a classical, fairytale-esque storyline, deeper themes (Pazu wants to find the castle to validate the memory of his father) and a sense of physical freedom that gives it welcome levity.
Dir: Hayao Miyazaki
Voices: Anna Paquin, James Van Der Beek, Cloris Leachman, Mark Hamill, Richard Dysart
CASTLE KEEP
1969
*
During World War 2, American soldiers occupy an ancient castle and finds it plays tricks on their minds.
Unusual war film with pretensions to be more than that, but not without humour or action.
Dir: Sydney Pollack
Stars: Burt Lancaster, Peter Falk, Bruce Dern
THE CASTLE OF FU MANCHU
1968
0
Fu plans to cause chaos by freezing over the Earth's oceans.
Awful international hodge-podge from a hopeless helmsman.
Dir: Jess Franco
Stars: Christopher Lee, Richard Greene, Howard Marion-Crawford
CASTLE OF THE LIVING DEAD
1964
*
A Count invites a circus troupe to his castle, but his intentions are nefarious.
Italian horror notable for being Sutherland’s first speaking role and having future Witchfinder General director Michael Reeves on the crew; it’s certainly not without its faults – the story is quite slow and vaguely developed – but shadowy black and white photography amongst gothic paraphernalia and strange statues lends it a certain quality, and the drama does become more focused towards the end.
Dir: Luciano Ricci, Lorenzo Sabatini
Stars: Christopher Lee, Gaia Germani, Philippe Leroy, Donald Sutherland
CASTLE OF THE WALKING DEAD
1967
0
An evil nobleman seemingly dead for 35 years returns from the grave.
This European horror has some unusual visuals - most notably, a forest made out of dead bodies - but the script, based on The Pit And The Pendulum, is of very little interest. Lee is absent for much of the proceedings.
Dir: Harald Reinl
Stars: Lex Barker, Karin Dor, Christopher Lee, Carl Lange
CASUALTIES OF WAR
1989
**
An American soldier in Vietnam swears justice will be done when four of colleagues rape and murder a native girl.
Effectively an anti-soldier thriller, harrowing in detail, with De Palma putting his knowledge of suspense to good use.
Dir: Brian De Palma
Stars: Michael J Fox, Sean Penn, Don Harvey
THE CAT
2011
0
Cat owners die mysterious deaths.
Anyone who's seen much Korean horror will get few surprises here. How many times can we watch someone poke around a small, dark room and get a shock when something jumps out? Or a ghostly child suddenly appear and then instantly disappear? It's also vastly overlong for its slim plot.
Dir: Byeon Seung-wook
Stars: Park Min-Young, Kim Dong-wook, Kim Ye-ron
CAT AND MOUSE
1974
0
A man persecutes his ex-wife.
A TV movie that received a theatrical release in the UK, this is a bit more technically stylish than your average TV movie but not quite good enough to be a proper big screen film - it lacks a thrusting point, or a fully understandable storyline, and while Douglas is committed, he may be miscast.
Dir: Daniel Petrie
Stars: Kirk Douglas, Jean Seberg, John Vernon, Sam Wanamaker
THE CAT AND THE CANARY
1939
**
Relatives gathered at an old house for the reading of a will are menaced by a homicidal maniac.
Well staged remake of the 1927 film, an archetypal old dark house mystery, here providing a young Bob Hope with his first big role; his wisecracks are now a little dated.
Dir: Elliott Nugent
Stars: Bob Hope, Paulette Goddard, Gale Sondergaard, George Zucco
THE CAT AND THE CANARY
1978
0
Mechanical fifth version of the stage play from a director more commonly associated with porn; it's not terrible, but it's hardly innovative and largely consists of close-cropped pictures of the starry cast chatting - and in the print shown on Talking Pictures TV it gives the appearance of something shot on video, a bit like a Seventies TV drama, and this hugely takes the viewer out of the action.
Dir: Radley Metzger
Stars: Carol Lynley, Honor Blackman, Michael Callan, Edward Fox, Olivia Hussey, Wilfrid Hyde-White, Wendy Hiller, Daniel Massey
CAT CHASER
1989
0
A hotel manager gets involved with the wife of a general from the Dominican Republic.
Verbose thriller which doesn't liven up until the final half hour, and still isn't very good then.
Dir: Abel Ferrara
Stars: Peter Weller, Kelly McGillis, Charles Durning, Frederic Forrest
THE CAT CREATURE
1973 (TV)
0
People are find slain with what seems to be wounds from a house cat.
Elementary horror, a little meow of a film.
Dir: Curtis Harrington
Stars: Meredith Baxter, David Hedison, Gale Sondergaard, John Carradine, Stuart Whitman
THE CAT FROM OUTER SPACE
1978
0
An alien being that resembles a cat gets stranded on Earth.
An example of the rut Disney found itself in by the 1970s, endlessly churning out bland, unfashionable offerings for undiscerning youngsters.
Dir: Norman Tokar
Stars: Roddy McDowall, Ken Berry, Sandy Duncan
THE CAT GANG
1959
0
A group of children foil some smugglers.
Even by the standards of the Children's Film Foundation, a slight and dismissible adventure for youngsters. Will even Bobba Fett fans give it a look?
Dir: Darrell Catling
Stars: Francesca Annis, John Pike, Jeremy Bulloch
CAT GIRL
1957
0
A woman believes she turns into a wild cat that kills people.
Pedestrian and confined horror peopled by unsympathetic characters; it needed a lot more care bestowed on it to be in the Val Lewton class.
Dir: Alfred Shaughnessy
Stars: Barbara Shelley, Robert Ayres, Kay Callard
CAT ON A HOT TIN ROOF
1958
*
A woman's husband, who has been confined to crutches, takes to drink and neglects her.
Typical Tennessee Williams stuff, a stiflingly hot melodrama in which the characters shout and make speeches at one another - it certainly fails to escape its theatrical origins but gives the actors a chance to give it their best shot. Pretentious and unlikeable, but well done for what it is; Americans seem quite keen.
Dir: Richard Brooks
Stars: Elizabeth Taylor, Paul Newman, Burt Ives, Jack Carson, Judith Anderson
THE CAT O’ NINE TAILS
1971
0
A blind man thinks he overhears a murder being planned.
Sub- Hitchcockian thriller from one of Italy’s better directors, this early effort now seems underwhelming.
Dir: Dario Argento
Stars: James Franciscus, Karl Malden, Catherine Spaak
CAT PEOPLE
1942
**
Whenever a woman is aroused, she turns into a bloodthirsty panther.
Subtle and sophisticated horror dealing with fear of intimacy.
Dir: Jacques Tourneur
Stars: Simone Simon, Kent Smith, Tom Conway
CAT PEOPLE
1982
*
Kinky remake with the emphasis, not surprisingly, on sex, although violence gets a healthy look in too; it's most fun for oddjobs and Nastassja Kinski fans.
Dir: Paul Schrader
Stars: Nastassja Kinski, Malcolm McDowell, John Heard, Ed Begley Jr
CAT-WOMEN OF THE MOON
1953
0
Earthmen discover that the Moon is inhabited by unusual beings.
This director's only film is the epitome of bad Fifties sci-fi, a loopy load of gumpf shot on a few small sets and with enough dumb incident to keep people commenting on it 60 years later - who would have predicted that at the time? The lovely ladies don't even show up until half way through.
Dir: Arthur Hilton
Stars: Sonny Tufts, Victor Jory, Marie Windsor, Susan Morrow
CATACOMBS
1965
*
The husband of a rich woman plots to kill his wife, but complications ensue.
Unlikely and slightly drawn out but neatly done thriller which keeps you watching; not a bad little film, with decent performances, moodily shot in black and white. One wonders whether the young woman-older man relationship seemed as eyebrow-raising to audiences then as it does to us now.
Dir: Gordon Hessler
Stars: Gary Merrill, Georgina Cookson, Jane Merrow, Neil McCallum
CATCH ME IF YOU CAN
2002
**
A conman manages to successfully pass him off as a Pan Am pilot.
Smooth and slick chase thriller, a good evening out, but it could have been even better if some scenes had been shortened or cut out altogether.
Dir: Steven Spielberg
Stars: Leonardo DiCaprio, Tom Hanks, Christopher Walken, Martin Sheen, James Brolin
CATCH-22
1970
0
Adventures of Yossarian, an American soldier in World War 2.
Heavy-going adaptation of the novel, quite similar in that it's opaque and unendearing - and very long.
Dir: Mike Nichols
Stars: Alan Arkin, Martin Balsam, Richard Benjamin, Art Garfunkel, Anthony Perkins, Martin Sheen, Jon Voight, Orson Welles, Bob Balaban
CATCH US IF YOU CAN
1965
0
A disillusioned model heads to the west country with a stuntman.
About all this has in common with A Hard Day's Night is that it's shot in black and white - in fact one wonders how the script was even green-lit, or whether any fans of the band actually enjoyed their trip to the cinema to see it. It's rambling and mildly pretentious, and hardly contains any songs, only one of which is any good (the title track), and the Five have very little personality.
Dir: John Boorman
Stars: The Dave Clark Five, Marianne Stone, Yootha Joyce, David Lodge
CATFISH
2010
**
Documentary, apparently, about a photographer who begins to have suspicions about someone he has contacted over the internet.
A compelling and unusual slice of cinema whose claimed status as a documentary was thought dubious by some - what is perhaps most likely is that it was a little doctored, tweaked and recalibrated to make a firmer narrative (it often seems a little too slick and 'acted', but certain elements of it appear more genuine than others); it's actually quite apt if that was indeed the case, or even that we think that might have been the case, given its theme of modern-day obfuscation. Its story makes the viewer expect a certain something and then gives them something a little unexpected which may, paradoxically, annoy some. Worth watching.
Dir: Henry Joost, Ariel Schulman
CATHOLIC BOYS
1985
*
Life at a strict Catholic Boys School in 1965 Brooklyn.
Pretty good, involving drama showing the wickedness committed in the name of religion.
Dir: Michael Dinner
Stars: Donald Sutherland, John Heard, Andrew McCarthy, Kevin Dillon
CAT’S EYE
1985
*
Three spooky stories linked by a stray cat: Quitters Inc, The Ledge and The General.
Moderately commendable anthology, enjoyable in a cheap sort of way.
Dir: Lewis Teague
Stars: Drew Barrymore, James Woods, Alan King, Robert Hays, Candy Clark
THE CAT'S-PAW
1934
*
A naive son of a missionary in China returns to the USA to find a wife but inadvertently gets involved in politics.
Curious star vehicle, perhaps the last Lloyd movie really worth catching, which sees him leave physical comedy behind to take on an unusual role in a slightly Capraesque yarn. It's not scintillating but flows pleasantly enough and provides a few surprises, including some really quite dark and gruesome stuff near the end.
Dir: Sam Taylor
Stars: Harold Lloyd, George Barbier, Una Merkel
CATWOMAN
2004
0
After mysteriously gaining feline powers, a graphic designer seeks to stop an evil cosmetics company.
Here’s a film that just makes it too easy for critics to lambast it: from the second it starts it’s evident that it’s a million miles away from classic superhero mythos like Spider-Man or Superman, and the script only goes on to make it seem even more ludicrous. The CGI looks just like CGI, the fights are all badly shot and the performances uniformly second class – no wonder, when the actors realised what kind of terrible movie they were in.
Dir: Pitof
Stars: Halle Berry, Benjamin Bratt, Sharon Stone, Lambert Wilson
CAULDRON OF BLOOD
1970
0
A blind sculptor is unaware that his wife is a serial killer, providing him with bodies.
As with most of his final films, Karloff isn't in this Spanish shocker much and when he is it's only marginally less awful than when he isn't. An arduous watch.
Dir: Santos Alcocer, Edward Mann
Stars: Jean-Pierre Aumont, Boris Karloff, Viveca Landfors
CAVALCADE
1933
**
Family life above and below stairs from the Boer War onwards.
Best Picture Oscar-winning drama that’s agreeable enough but fails to tug at the heartstrings as it surely should, largely because the characters are not defined enough, many performances are wooden and the scripting is erratic (what happened to the 1920s?). It does, however, provide interesting historical insights due to its reflections on the Boer War, Queen Victoria’s death, the Titanic sinking, World War One and technological advances.
Dir: Frank Lloyd
Stars: Clive Brook, Diana Wynyard, Ursula Jeans, Herbert Mundin, Una O’Connor
CAVEGIRL
1985
0
A nerdy schoolkid finds himself back in the stone age.
Truly abysmal teen comedy presumably made by a writer/director with the brain of a prehistoric man: moronic and unfunny beyond belief.
Dir: David Oliver
Stars: Daniel Roebuck, Cynthia Thompson, Darren Young
CATFISH
2010
**
Documentary, apparently, about a photographer who begins to have suspicions about someone he has contacted over the internet.
A compelling and unusual slice of cinema whose claimed status as a documentary was thought dubious by some - what is perhaps most likely is that it was a little doctored, tweaked and recalibrated to make a firmer narrative (it often seems a little too slick and 'acted', but certain elements of it appear more genuine than others); it's actually quite apt if that was indeed the case, or even that we think that might have been the case, given its theme of modern-day obfuscation. Its story makes the viewer expect a certain something and then gives them something a little unexpected which may, paradoxically, annoy some. Worth watching.
Dir: Henry Joost, Ariel Schulman
CATHOLIC BOYS
1985
*
Life at a strict Catholic Boys School in 1965 Brooklyn.
Pretty good, involving drama showing the wickedness committed in the name of religion.
Dir: Michael Dinner
Stars: Donald Sutherland, John Heard, Andrew McCarthy, Kevin Dillon
CAT’S EYE
1985
*
Three spooky stories linked by a stray cat: Quitters Inc, The Ledge and The General.
Moderately commendable anthology, enjoyable in a cheap sort of way.
Dir: Lewis Teague
Stars: Drew Barrymore, James Woods, Alan King, Robert Hays, Candy Clark
THE CAT'S-PAW
1934
*
A naive son of a missionary in China returns to the USA to find a wife but inadvertently gets involved in politics.
Curious star vehicle, perhaps the last Lloyd movie really worth catching, which sees him leave physical comedy behind to take on an unusual role in a slightly Capraesque yarn. It's not scintillating but flows pleasantly enough and provides a few surprises, including some really quite dark and gruesome stuff near the end.
Dir: Sam Taylor
Stars: Harold Lloyd, George Barbier, Una Merkel
CATWOMAN
2004
0
After mysteriously gaining feline powers, a graphic designer seeks to stop an evil cosmetics company.
Here’s a film that just makes it too easy for critics to lambast it: from the second it starts it’s evident that it’s a million miles away from classic superhero mythos like Spider-Man or Superman, and the script only goes on to make it seem even more ludicrous. The CGI looks just like CGI, the fights are all badly shot and the performances uniformly second class – no wonder, when the actors realised what kind of terrible movie they were in.
Dir: Pitof
Stars: Halle Berry, Benjamin Bratt, Sharon Stone, Lambert Wilson
CAULDRON OF BLOOD
1970
0
A blind sculptor is unaware that his wife is a serial killer, providing him with bodies.
As with most of his final films, Karloff isn't in this Spanish shocker much and when he is it's only marginally less awful than when he isn't. An arduous watch.
Dir: Santos Alcocer, Edward Mann
Stars: Jean-Pierre Aumont, Boris Karloff, Viveca Landfors
CAVALCADE
1933
**
Family life above and below stairs from the Boer War onwards.
Best Picture Oscar-winning drama that’s agreeable enough but fails to tug at the heartstrings as it surely should, largely because the characters are not defined enough, many performances are wooden and the scripting is erratic (what happened to the 1920s?). It does, however, provide interesting historical insights due to its reflections on the Boer War, Queen Victoria’s death, the Titanic sinking, World War One and technological advances.
Dir: Frank Lloyd
Stars: Clive Brook, Diana Wynyard, Ursula Jeans, Herbert Mundin, Una O’Connor
CAVEGIRL
1985
0
A nerdy schoolkid finds himself back in the stone age.
Truly abysmal teen comedy presumably made by a writer/director with the brain of a prehistoric man: moronic and unfunny beyond belief.
Dir: David Oliver
Stars: Daniel Roebuck, Cynthia Thompson, Darren Young
CELEBRITY
1998
*
A frustrated writer attempts to break into the world of the rich and famous.
One of Allen's biggest films (in terms of budget and scope), this has a few good scenes and some acid observations, but the overall effect is rather overbearing; and because it's full of unattractive and vain characters feels itself unattractive and vain. Branagh's impersonation of Allen isn't much welcome, while few of the many other actors rise above the profane, meandering and bitter script - this has to be the writer-director's darkest and most unpleasantly sordid film, not one to warm to. And Donald Trump is in it!
Dir: Woody Allen
Stars: Kenneth Branagh, Judy Davis, Winona Ryder, Leonardo DiCaprio, Melanie Griffith, Joe Mantegna, Charlize Theron
CELLAR DWELLER
1987
0
A comic book artist draws a creature that attacks people in real life.
Budget horror of limited scope and ambition, pretty typical of Empire Pictures; the concept is slightly fun and a few gory moments courtesy of physical effects should keep the not-too-demanding happy enough.
Dir: John Carl Buechler
Stars: Yvonne De Carlo, Debrah Farentino, Brian Robbins, Jeffrey Combs
CENSOR
2021
0
In the 1980s, a film censor has memories of her sister's disappearance brought back by the video nasties she has to watch.
There's a nice idea here but it doesn't lead to a fully satisfactory film. There are pleasures for certain viewers, with the recreation (albeit on a low budget) of 80s offices and video shops and the focus on the video nasty hysteria (which now seems quite cosy rather than terrible), but there doesn't appear to be the skill necessary to make it coalesce into a meaningful or gripping movie. The fact that it has a female director will mean many critics bump it up a star or two.
Dir: Prano Bailey-Bond
Stars: Niamh Algar, Michael Smiley, Nicholas Burns
CENTERFOLD
1996
0
A struggling actress becomes a nude model but is soon disillusioned with the industry.
Trashy erotic drama on utterly predictable lines.
Dir: Kelley Cauthen
Stars: Cheryl Bartel, Gabriella Hall, Ed Hazzard
CENTRAL STATION
1998
**
An old woman who works in Rio de Janeiro station crosses paths with a nine-year-old boy who has never met his father.
Tough but touching odyssey which transports the Western viewer to a continent and culture very different from their own.
Dir: Walter Salles
Stars: Fernanda Montenegro, Marilia Pera, Soia Lira
CENTRESPREAD
1981
CESAR
1936
***
Following Marius (1931) and Fanny (1932), qqv, Panisse is dying, which has repercussions for all the characters.
The final part of Pagnol's trilogy is the best, mostly because the story really moves and develops, and takes place in a much greater variety of locations; it's also pleasing to catch up with these characters and to see how they now view their pasts. This valuable film intelligently chronicles the imperfections of human beings and says much about family relationships.
Dir: Marcel Pagnol
Stars: Raimu, Pierre Fresnay, Orane Demazis, Fernand Charpin
CEYLON MY LOVE
1982
0
Models working in Sri Lanka are lured into captivity.
Exotic locations do little to enliven this squalid tale. Basically, tat.
Dir: Jack Regis
Stars: Chris Murphy, Vera Floux, Dirke Altevogt
CENTERFOLD
1996
0
A struggling actress becomes a nude model but is soon disillusioned with the industry.
Trashy erotic drama on utterly predictable lines.
Dir: Kelley Cauthen
Stars: Cheryl Bartel, Gabriella Hall, Ed Hazzard
CENTRAL STATION
1998
**
An old woman who works in Rio de Janeiro station crosses paths with a nine-year-old boy who has never met his father.
Tough but touching odyssey which transports the Western viewer to a continent and culture very different from their own.
Dir: Walter Salles
Stars: Fernanda Montenegro, Marilia Pera, Soia Lira
CENTRESPREAD
1981
0
In the near future, a glamour photographer is asked to find the ultimate model.
Laughably pretentious but undeniably sexy slice of erotica with stilted line-readings, passionless performances and a sliver of a story. But, hey, that sexiness.
Dir: Tony Paterson
Stars: Paul Trahair, Kylie Foster, Mark Watson
CESAR
1936
***
Following Marius (1931) and Fanny (1932), qqv, Panisse is dying, which has repercussions for all the characters.
The final part of Pagnol's trilogy is the best, mostly because the story really moves and develops, and takes place in a much greater variety of locations; it's also pleasing to catch up with these characters and to see how they now view their pasts. This valuable film intelligently chronicles the imperfections of human beings and says much about family relationships.
Dir: Marcel Pagnol
Stars: Raimu, Pierre Fresnay, Orane Demazis, Fernand Charpin
CEYLON MY LOVE
1982
0
Models working in Sri Lanka are lured into captivity.
Exotic locations do little to enliven this squalid tale. Basically, tat.
Dir: Jack Regis
Stars: Chris Murphy, Vera Floux, Dirke Altevogt
THE CHAIN
1984
0
One day in London sees a series of house moves.
TV-like humorous drama with philosophical pretensions; a fine cast makes it seem marginally less small-scale. It's gratifying to see so much footage of different parts of the capital.
Dir: Jack Gold
Stars: Warren Mitchell, Bernard Hill, Leo McKern, Billie Whitelaw, Denis Lawson, Nigel Hawthorne, Anna Massey, Maurice Denham
CHAIN OF EVENTS
1958
*
A clerk avoiding paying his bus fare leads to a series of unfortunate events.
A canny idea and a canny little film, very likeable, really nicely done. Perhaps it doesn't fully hang together under close examination but who cares, it's a fair record of what life in Britain used to be like at this time. It bears out the maxim: tell the truth, or at least don't lie.
Dir: Gerald Thomas
Stars: Kenneth Griffith, Dermot Walsh, Susan Shaw, Jack Watling
A CHALLENGE FOR ROBIN HOOD
1967
*
The cousin of a corrupt ruler becomes an outlaw and plans to overthrow him.
A retelling of Robin Hood’s origin story handled by an undistinguished cast and director that provides some simple fun for a junior audience at a Saturday matinee; essentially good-natured, colourful antics, it’s a pity the action set-pieces aren’t a little more convincing.
Dir: Pennington Richards
Stars: Barrie Ingham, James Hayter, Leon Greene, John Arnatt
CHAMBER OF HORRORS
1966
0
A one-handed madman takes revenge on those he feels have wronged him.
Originally made for TV but transferred to the big screen when it was felt to be too lurid, the best bits of this shocker are when the 'Fear Flasher' and 'Horror Horn' are activated, just before murders.
Dir: Hy Averback
Stars: Cesare Danova, Wilfrid Hyde-White, Patrice Wymore
THE CHAMP
1931
**
A young lad idolises his single father, an alcoholic, over-the-hill boozer.
A sentimental smash hit of its day that still pretty much works; it's an unlikely tale performed with gusto by the two leads.
Dir: King Vidor
Stars: Wallace Beery, Jackie Cooper, Irene Rich, Roscoe Ates
CHAMPAGNE
1928
*
A flapper is taught life lessons by her millionaire father.
Early Hitchcock froth for completists only: despite half a dozen examples of inventive photography it bores because there’s very little to get the mental teeth into.
Dir: Alfred Hitchcock
Stars: Betty Balfour, Gordon Harker, Jean Bradin
CHANCES ARE
1989
0
A man is reincarnated and 20 years later ends up meeting the daughter of his former wife.
Pleasant romantic fantasy, the sort you might catch on an aeroplane.
Dir: Emile Ardolino
Stars: Cybill Shepherd, Robert Downey Jr, Ryan O’Neal, Mary Stuart Masterson
CHANDU THE MAGICIAN
1932
0
A magician takes on a villain with a death ray.
When is a serial not a serial? When it's this episodic hocus pocus featuring Bela at his most flamboyant - thanks to this and a few quirky trick effects it's not a total write-off.
Dir: William Cameron Menzies, Marcel Varnel
Stars: Edmund Lowe, Bela Lugosi, Irene Ware
A CHALLENGE FOR ROBIN HOOD
1967
*
The cousin of a corrupt ruler becomes an outlaw and plans to overthrow him.
A retelling of Robin Hood’s origin story handled by an undistinguished cast and director that provides some simple fun for a junior audience at a Saturday matinee; essentially good-natured, colourful antics, it’s a pity the action set-pieces aren’t a little more convincing.
Dir: Pennington Richards
Stars: Barrie Ingham, James Hayter, Leon Greene, John Arnatt
CHAMBER OF HORRORS
1966
0
A one-handed madman takes revenge on those he feels have wronged him.
Originally made for TV but transferred to the big screen when it was felt to be too lurid, the best bits of this shocker are when the 'Fear Flasher' and 'Horror Horn' are activated, just before murders.
Dir: Hy Averback
Stars: Cesare Danova, Wilfrid Hyde-White, Patrice Wymore
THE CHAMP
1931
**
A young lad idolises his single father, an alcoholic, over-the-hill boozer.
A sentimental smash hit of its day that still pretty much works; it's an unlikely tale performed with gusto by the two leads.
Dir: King Vidor
Stars: Wallace Beery, Jackie Cooper, Irene Rich, Roscoe Ates
CHAMPAGNE
1928
*
A flapper is taught life lessons by her millionaire father.
Early Hitchcock froth for completists only: despite half a dozen examples of inventive photography it bores because there’s very little to get the mental teeth into.
Dir: Alfred Hitchcock
Stars: Betty Balfour, Gordon Harker, Jean Bradin
CHANCES ARE
1989
0
A man is reincarnated and 20 years later ends up meeting the daughter of his former wife.
Pleasant romantic fantasy, the sort you might catch on an aeroplane.
Dir: Emile Ardolino
Stars: Cybill Shepherd, Robert Downey Jr, Ryan O’Neal, Mary Stuart Masterson
CHANDU THE MAGICIAN
1932
0
A magician takes on a villain with a death ray.
When is a serial not a serial? When it's this episodic hocus pocus featuring Bela at his most flamboyant - thanks to this and a few quirky trick effects it's not a total write-off.
Dir: William Cameron Menzies, Marcel Varnel
Stars: Edmund Lowe, Bela Lugosi, Irene Ware
CHANG
1927
***
Documentary, albeit a highly manipulated one, about the harsh life in the jungle for a family in Northern Siam (now Thailand).
While it is true that the makers of this film took several liberties - it is obvious on many occasions, including when the elephant attacks their house - the fact remains that there is some remarkable footage here, the sort that would have dazzled audiences because they wouldn't have seen anything like it before. And it should be watched by modern-day viewers to remind them that life in its raw, pre-capitalist stage is anything but an idyll, and is rather an everyday battle for survival. The movie is like an especially good Tarzan one, with more reality on show.
Dir: Merian C Cooper, Ernest B Schoedsack
CHANGE PARTNERS
1965
*
A man and a woman having an affair hatch a plan to off their other halves.
One of the better Edgar Wallace Mysteries, a driven tale with a good motor and much intrigue amongst the usual heavy consumption of tobacco and alcohol, not to mention the casual murder and blackmail.
Dir: Robert Lynn
Stars: Zena Walker, Kenneth Cope, Basil Henson, Anthony Dawson
THE CHANGELING
1980
*
A man whose family are killed in a car crash retires to a lonely mansion where he experiences the supernatural.
Slow-burn ghost story ably led by Scott, whose character is much more firmly in control of the situation than many others in scripts like this - perhaps too in control? The occasional shocks are shot with some panache, and while this is nowhere near the standard of the same year's The Shining, it offers an unsettling and fairly intriguing tale for those in the mood.
Dir: Peter Medak
Stars: George C Scott, Trish Van Devere, Melvyn Douglas, Jean Marsh
CHANGELING
2008
***
In 1920s Los Angeles, a single mother’s son goes missing; months later the police deliver a boy back to her, but she is adamant that he is not her son.
The reason why this is one of Eastwood and Jolie’s very best films is that it replaces the predictable three-act Hollywood blueprint with a much more engaging one that goes something like this: for the first half the viewer experiences genuine anger and outrage at the events (okay, so it’s manipulative in the way that all Clint’s movies are, but it matters not here), and in the second half there’s a feeling of rich satisfaction at the way things pan out. It also introduces new segments as it goes to perpetuate the interest. Those who believe in justice will have a tear running down their cheek; it surely deserved much more in the awards season.
Dir: Clint Eastwood
Stars: Angelina Jolie, John Malkovich, Jason Butler Harner, Jeffrey Donovan
THE CHANGE-UP
2011
0
Two friends, one a family man lawyer, the other a pot-smoking slacker, swap bodies.
One of the most vile, repugnant and despicable films to come out of Hollywood in recent years, this dumb and bilious ‘comedy’ is not only irredeemably horrible but excessively sentimental, with the second half in particular full of icky songs on the soundtrack designed to make you think a sincere message is being conveyed: the result feels like eating the vomit of someone who has consumed a skipful of sweets. Reynolds is even more obnoxious, foul-mouthed and oleaginous than usual, and since he has to do a ‘double’ performance, he spreads his ghastliness over the entire movie, one that often feels like it will never end.
Dir: David Dobkin
Stars: Ryan Reynolds, Jason Bateman, Leslie Mann, Olivia Wilde, Alan Arkin
THE CHANT OF JIMMIE BLACKSMITH
1978
**
A half-caste Aborigine goes berserk after trouble with his white masters.
One of the most notable Australian films of its period is a tough, grim period drama that makes its racial point in no uncertain terms, although the audience can make their own mind up as to whether Blacksmith's actions are also the action of a psychopath - while at the same time pitying the terrible plight of people in his situation. Worthy viewing, technically excellent.
Dir: Fred Schepisi
Stars: Tommy Lewis, Freddy Reynolds, Ray Barrett, Jack Thompson
CHAPLIN
1992
**
The life of the filmic funnyman, who went from south London to Hollywood to become a superstar.
Easily watchable, worthwhile biopic, a little sluggish scene for scene, but sometimes funny and moving; it's a shame, though, that Chaplin is portrayed as a surly, perpetually worried character, which surely cannot have been the case.
Dir: Richard Attenborough
Stars: Robert Downey Jr, Geraldine Chaplin, Paul Rhys, John Thaw, Anthony Hopkins, Dan Aykroyd, Kevin Kline, Milla Jovovich, Marisa Tomei
CHAPTER 27
2007
*
Mark David Chapman stalks the streets of New York in the days leading up to him killing John Lennon.
There was disapproval and dismay over this film, and it's not hard to see why. It pretty much solely concentrates on Leto's character over a short period of time not doing much, just wandering around and talking to people about his infatuation with Lennon - and it doesn't give any proper reasons why he committed his heinous act (nor does it go down the route of suggesting Chapman was a CIA patsy). Perhaps that's because it was simply a senseless and malevolently banal act, and the director wanted to emphasise that. So we get an excellent lead performance and a recreation of a wintry Upper West Side, with an air of impending doom, and that's probably not enough for most critics and moviegoers.
Dir: JP Schaefer
Stars: Jared Leto, Lindsay Lohan, Judah Friedlander
CHARADE
1963
*
A woman is pursued by several men who want the fortune her murdered husband had stolen.
Light comedy thriller with star quality, a less dramatic North By Northwest or James Bond, which it inevitably bears comparison to.
Dir: Stanley Donen
Stars: Cary Grant, Audrey Hepburn, Walter Matthau, James Coburn, George Kennedy
CHARIOTS OF FIRE
1981
**
A Jew and a Scot train to compete for Britain in the 1924 Olympics.
A film that almost fortuitously garnished acclaim, coming along at a time when the world fancied an old fashioned English tale of heroic endeavour with period trimmings - certainly it appeared to be a lucky accident on the director's part. Muted in terms of dramatic power, the film nevertheless remains a bit special, in no small part due to Vangelis's theme which accompanies the opening iconic images of the white-clad runners on the beach and is replayed over the end credits.
Dir: Hugh Hudson
Stars: Ben Cross, Ian Charleson, Ian Holm, John Gielgud, Nigel Havers, Lindsay Anderson, Patrick Magee, Nigel Davenport
CHARIOTS OF THE GODS
1970
*
Documentary that seeks to prove that aliens have visited Earth throughout its history.
Based on the book that became a bestseller, this is typical of-its-time fare that no doubt convinced many of its arguments and, indeed, some of its stories of the incredible achievements in construction by apparently unsophisticated peoples are remarkable - but one wishes one had an expert by one's side to point out the evidence of the human ingenuity in structures like the Easter Island statues and the Pyramids. The film lost the question mark at the end of the book's title to appear even more bold in its claims; whether one believes them or not, at least there is much footage of these amazing artefacts from all around the world, even if the presentation - it's all the narrator talking, pretty much - is not varied and gets a little monotonous.
Dir: Harald Reinl
Narrator: Christian Marschall
CHARLIE AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY
2005
*
A boy wins a trip to an incredible confectionary factory run by an eccentric genius.
All that this has over the 1971 adaptation is dazzling special effects - in normal Burton style, the heart and soul are lacking and it goes on for too long.
Dir: Tim Burton
Stars: Johnny Depp, Freddie Highmore, David Kelly, Helena Bonham Carter, James Fox, Christopher Lee
CHARLIE BUBBLES
1968
*
A married writer embarks on an affair with his secretary.
Slow, portentous study of a not especially interesting character, but one which has gained some sort of period value.
Dir: Albert Finney
Stars: Albert Finney, Colin Blakely, Billie Whitelaw, Liza Minnelli, Alan Lake
CHARLIE CHAN AND THE CURSE OF THE DRAGON QUEEN
1981
0
Charlie Chan helps a San Francisco detective solve a mysterious series of murders.
Comedy which quickly runs out of spoofing ideas so turns to derivative slapstick, which works even less well.
Dir: Clive Donner
Stars: Peter Ustinov, Angie Dickinson, Roddy McDowall, Rachel Roberts, Michelle Pfeiffer
CHARLIE CHAN AT THE OPERA
1936
*
The Chinese detective investigates an opera singer who may be a murderer.
Atmospheric mystery with a ripe performance from Karloff; one of the best of the many Charlie Chan films.
Dir: H Bruce Humberstone
Stars: Warner Oland, Boris Karloff, Keye Luke
CHARLIE CHAPLIN CARNIVAL
1938
*
Four Chaplin shorts from 1916: Behind The Screen, The Count, The Fireman and The Vagabond, with music and sound effects.
One of three compilations from 1938 that Chaplin made, the shorts here are not among the highlights of his silent career.
Dir: Charles Chaplin
Stars: Charles Chaplin, Eric Campbell, Edna Purviance
CHARLOTTE’S WEB
1972
*
A spider promises a pig she will save him from being slaughtered.
Overlong cartoon adaptation of a delightful children's book with TV-style animation and throwaway songs.
Dir: Charles A Nichols, Iwao Takamoto
Voices: Debbie Reynolds, Paul Lynde, Henry Gibson
CHARLOTTE’S WEB
2006
*
Advancements in computer technology mean that in this version the animals can now talk and do many other things in a live-action setting: the anthropomorphic antics will likely entertain a young audience - older ones may be more impervious, especially those who find rats and spiders decidedly unappealing (which must be a fair few). Still, despite the pig being voiced by a young American brat, and too much padding with too many chattering animals, the message of the original book isn't entirely lost in the cotton wool cluster of sentimentality.
Dir: Gary Winick
Stars: Dakota Fanning. Voices: Julia Roberts, Steve Buscemi, John Cleese, Oprah Winfrey
CHEECH & CHONG’S NEXT MOVIE
1980
0
Two druggies have various crazy adventures.
Ragbag collection of dope-inspired incidents; not a lot here for non-fans.
Dir: Tommy Chong
Stars: Cheech Marin, Tommy Chong, Betty Kennedy, Paul Reubens
CHEEKY
2000
*
A beautiful young blonde comes to London and gets both male and female attention.
A work of supreme titillation, nothing more nothing less, the result of years of pleasurable practising by the director.
Dir: Tinto Brass
Stars: Yuliya Mayarchuk, Jarno Berardi, Francesca Nunzi, Max Parodi
THE CHEERLEADERS
1972
0
A new cheerleader attempts to lose her virginity.
Lowbrow sexy comedy from a liberated era, it probably did the job at drive-ins, and does show a few glimmers of wit.
Dir: Paul Glickler
Stars: Stephanie Fondue, Denise Dillaway, Jovita Bush
CHEMICAL WEDDING
2008
*
A stuttering professor brings occultist Aleister Crowley back to life.
Barmy sci-fi horror which throws everything at the wall - some of it sticks, and Callow’s maniacal performance is quite fun.
Dir: Julian Doyle
Stars: Simon Callow, Kal Weber, Lucy Cudden, Jud Charlton
CHESS FEVER
1925
*
A young man becomes obsessed by a chess tournament.
Typically Russian short with pleasing visual gags.
Dir: Vsevolod Pudovkin, Nikolai Shpikovsky
Stars: Boris Barnet, Jose Raul Capablanca
CHICAGO
2002
***
Fame-hungry Roxie Hart dreams of making it on the stage while about to stand trial for murder.
Dynamic version of the exuberant, attitude-packed stage musical that works like a dream, full as it is of glorious set-pieces, sassy dialogue and brilliant song numbers.
Dir: Rob Marshall
Stars: Catherine Zeta Jones, Renee Zellweger, Richard Gere, Queen Latifah
CHICAGO JOE AND THE SHOWGIRL
1990
0
An American GI and a stripper embark on a crime spree in 1944 England.
Lacklustre ‘true story’ acted with little conviction on stagey sets.
Dir: Bernard Rose
Stars: Kiefer Sutherland, Emily Lloyd, Liz Fraser, Keith Allen, Patsy Kensit
CHASE A CROOKED SHADOW
1958
**
A rich woman at a villa in Spain is visited by a man who claims to be her brother – but she insists that he is an impostor and her brother is actually dead.
Easy to enjoy, mostly mild thriller that delivers its twist ending with aplomb; in the hands of a greater director (like a certain Mr Hitchcock) and cast, however, it could have had a lot more depth and resonance, and would it have been better to excise the brief prologue featuring Todd and Brook? Fun if you can forgive its far-fetched plot.
Dir: Michael Anderson
Stars: Richard Todd, Anne Baxter, Herbert Lom, Faith Brook
CHEECH & CHONG’S NEXT MOVIE
1980
0
Two druggies have various crazy adventures.
Ragbag collection of dope-inspired incidents; not a lot here for non-fans.
Dir: Tommy Chong
Stars: Cheech Marin, Tommy Chong, Betty Kennedy, Paul Reubens
CHEEKY
2000
*
A beautiful young blonde comes to London and gets both male and female attention.
A work of supreme titillation, nothing more nothing less, the result of years of pleasurable practising by the director.
Dir: Tinto Brass
Stars: Yuliya Mayarchuk, Jarno Berardi, Francesca Nunzi, Max Parodi
THE CHEERLEADERS
1972
0
A new cheerleader attempts to lose her virginity.
Lowbrow sexy comedy from a liberated era, it probably did the job at drive-ins, and does show a few glimmers of wit.
Dir: Paul Glickler
Stars: Stephanie Fondue, Denise Dillaway, Jovita Bush
CHEMICAL WEDDING
2008
*
A stuttering professor brings occultist Aleister Crowley back to life.
Barmy sci-fi horror which throws everything at the wall - some of it sticks, and Callow’s maniacal performance is quite fun.
Dir: Julian Doyle
Stars: Simon Callow, Kal Weber, Lucy Cudden, Jud Charlton
CHESS FEVER
1925
*
A young man becomes obsessed by a chess tournament.
Typically Russian short with pleasing visual gags.
Dir: Vsevolod Pudovkin, Nikolai Shpikovsky
Stars: Boris Barnet, Jose Raul Capablanca
CHICAGO
2002
***
Fame-hungry Roxie Hart dreams of making it on the stage while about to stand trial for murder.
Dynamic version of the exuberant, attitude-packed stage musical that works like a dream, full as it is of glorious set-pieces, sassy dialogue and brilliant song numbers.
Dir: Rob Marshall
Stars: Catherine Zeta Jones, Renee Zellweger, Richard Gere, Queen Latifah
CHICAGO JOE AND THE SHOWGIRL
1990
0
An American GI and a stripper embark on a crime spree in 1944 England.
Lacklustre ‘true story’ acted with little conviction on stagey sets.
Dir: Bernard Rose
Stars: Kiefer Sutherland, Emily Lloyd, Liz Fraser, Keith Allen, Patsy Kensit
LAS CHICAS DEL TANGA
1987
0
Kooky goings on between men and women in Benidorm (including matters involving transsexualism, fatal illness, a Dutch photographer and a drag act).
Strange madness from Lina Romay who, as she went to seed physically, started trying to direct films (possibly with boyfriend Jess Franco's help), and they're nearly as nuts as his are. Just a couple of weeks' effort must have gone into this, and the dialogue is the sort that Franco could spew out at length, with it being bereft of any sort of quality, while the 'plot' is... well, to be generous, 'different', with many odd quirks. The title translates as 'Thong Girls', and we do get some nice views of the kind often on show in sunny Spain - for that and the weirdness it's not possible to hate.
Dir: Lina Romay
Stars: Lina Romay, Antonio Mayans, Eva Leon, Analia Ivars
CHICKEN RUN
2000
**
Wily chickens hatch a plan to escape from a sinister farm in Yorkshire.
Witty, skilfully made comic fantasy, suitable for all ages.
Dir: Peter Lord, Nick Park
Voices: Mel Gibson, Phil Daniels, Jane Horrocks, Miranda Richardson, Julia Sawalha, Timothy Spall, Imelda Staunton
CHICKENS COME HOME
1931
***
An ex of Ollie's blackmails him when he tries to run for Mayor.
A very enjoyable reworking of 1927’s Love 'Em And Weep, this three-reeler builds to a pleasingly frenetic climax in broad theatrical-farce style. Much of it remains genuinely hilarious after all these years - it's not just because of the two comic geniuses but the fabulous supporting cast too.
Dir: James W Horne
Stars: Stan Laurel, Oliver Hardy, Mae Busch, James Finlayson
NB A Spanish language remake was called Politiquerias, and, like most of their foreign language editions, is worth seeing for keen fans. In addition to those noted in this film guide, Hog Wild and Brats were also remade, but this reviewer has not seen them.
UN CHIEN ANDALOU
1929
***
Bunuel's famous surrealist short, which contains imagery like an eye sliced with the razor blade, two confused priests being pulled along and ants coming out of a man's hand, is as pure a distillation of Dali's and the director's vision as could be wished; it still packs a punch after nearly a century of exposure, and the film is easily watchable thanks to its compact length. Both lead actors later committed suicide.
Dir: Luis Bunuel
Stars: Pierre Batcheff, Simone Mareuil
THE CHILD
1977
0
A housekeeper realises the young girl in her charge has supernatural powers.
Absolute horse manure that starts like a spooky kid flick and then turns into a zombie one; there's a little bit of broody atmosphere but the script is just nothing.
Dir: Robert Voskanian
Stars: Laurel Barnett, Rosalie Cole, Frank Janson
THE CHILDREN
1980
0
A leak at a nuclear plant turns a town's children into deadly zombies.
Endearingly amateurish, simplistic shocker with enough slices of rich cheese to make it appeal to so-bad-it's-good movie acolytes.
Dir: Max Kalmanowicz
Stars: Martin Shakar, Gil Rogers, Gale Garnett
THE CHILDREN
2008
0
A Christmas vacation gets nasty when the kids turn homicidal.
Explanation-free shocker that builds a wee bit of tension then goes for a series of fast-cutting horrific incidents in which it’s difficult to see what’s going on – if it was otherwise you’d probably be able to make out that they’re clunky and unconvincing. There are many modern Brit horrors that are much worse than this one but overall it’s a slim, shallow effort with at least two glaring absurdities: the ambulance that never shows and the woman who can drive with a shattered leg. The kids aren’t very convincing, either.
Dir: Tom Shankland
Stars: Eva Birthistle, Hannah Tointon, Stephen Campbell Moore, Rachel Shelley
THE CHILDREN ACT
2018
**
While having difficulties with her marriage, a flinty judge rules on a case involving recalcitrant Jehovah's Witnesses whose son is in need of a blood transfusion to save his life.
Ian McEwan adopts his own book for this chilly, often stagey drama about withdrawal from the realities of life, in one way or another: either emotionally, or by reliance on ancient texts. It is formidably bossed by Thompson and generally compelling, although there's the vague feeling that the third act - which nevertheless surprises - could have gone in more interesting directions.
Dir: Richard Eyre
Stars: Emma Thompson, Stanley Tucci, Fionn Whitehead, Ben Chaplin
CHILDREN OF A LESSER GOD
1986
*
A teacher of the deaf falls in love with a young cleaner at his school who refuses to attempt speech.
A love story with a difference, and one that impressed the Oscars committee - indeed, it could barely be more up their street. It's well enough done for what it is but not thrilling - and sometimes a little irritating and cheesy.
Dir: Randa Haines
Stars: William Hurt, Marlee Matlin, Piper Laurie, Philip Bosco
THE CHILDREN OF DYNMOUTH
1986 (TV)
*
An obnoxious teenager blackmails people for articles he wants.
Diverting drama with an air of quirkiness and a convincing lead performance.
Dir: Peter Hammond
Stars: John Bird, Peter Jones, Avril Elgar, Simon Fox
CHILDREN OF HEAVEN
1997
**
In Tehran, a young boy loses his sister's shoes but tries hard to atone for it.
One of the more impressive films to come out of Iran at the end of the twentieth century, this is a humane, disarming drama, suitable for all ages, steeped in Iranian culture and settings. It's worth a watch just for an insight into that land alone, but it also works as a yarn - even though the conclusion seems, on the first viewing particularly, a little flat.
Dir: Majid Majidi
Stars: Amir Naji, Mir Farrokh Hashemian, Bahare Seddiqi
CHILDREN OF MEN
2006
*
In 2027 women worldwide have been struck infertile; when one woman somehow gets pregnant, the race is on to get her to sanctuary in the sea.
Muddled and muddy-looking sci-fi set in a dystopian future which looks remarkably like today's London; it takes every opportunity possible to wallow in unpleasantness and misery.
Dir: Alfonso Cuaron
Stars: Clive Owen, Michael Caine, Julianne Moore, Chiwetel Ejiofor
CHILDREN OF THE CORN
1984
0
A young couple visit a mid-western town where all the adults have apparently been killed by the children.
Tepid horror with flashes of better things.
Dir: Fritz Kiersch
Stars: Linda Hamilton, Peter Horton, R G Armstrong
CHILDREN OF THE DAMNED
1963
*
A group of children of abnormal intelligence escape from the scientists who are studying them.
Pointless, unsurprising sequel to Village Of The Damned which can only echo the strengths of the original; even the children are irritating rather than frightening.
Dir: Anton Leader
Stars: Ian Hendry, Alan Badel, Patrick Wymark
CHILDREN SHOULDN’T PLAY WITH DEAD THINGS
1973
0
Six friends in a graveyard accidentally bring the dead back to life.
Peculiar low budget horror which consists of one hour of tiresome, drama school-ish antics followed by some Night Of The Living Dead-like action, which is better, albeit straightforward, though can’t save the film from being a bit rubbish.
Dir: Bob Clark
Stars: Alan Ormsby, Valerie Mamches, Jeff Gillen
CHILD’S PLAY
1954
0
Children use atomic energy to make popcorn.
Trying example of a film made for children featuring a children's gang; it's as testing as listening to a six-year-old not stop talking for hours on end.
Dir: Margaret Thomson
Stars: Christopher Beeny, Anneke Wills, Mona Washbourne, Ballard Berkeley
1929
***
Bunuel's famous surrealist short, which contains imagery like an eye sliced with the razor blade, two confused priests being pulled along and ants coming out of a man's hand, is as pure a distillation of Dali's and the director's vision as could be wished; it still packs a punch after nearly a century of exposure, and the film is easily watchable thanks to its compact length. Both lead actors later committed suicide.
Dir: Luis Bunuel
Stars: Pierre Batcheff, Simone Mareuil
THE CHILD
1977
0
A housekeeper realises the young girl in her charge has supernatural powers.
Absolute horse manure that starts like a spooky kid flick and then turns into a zombie one; there's a little bit of broody atmosphere but the script is just nothing.
Dir: Robert Voskanian
Stars: Laurel Barnett, Rosalie Cole, Frank Janson
THE CHILDREN
1980
0
A leak at a nuclear plant turns a town's children into deadly zombies.
Endearingly amateurish, simplistic shocker with enough slices of rich cheese to make it appeal to so-bad-it's-good movie acolytes.
Dir: Max Kalmanowicz
Stars: Martin Shakar, Gil Rogers, Gale Garnett
THE CHILDREN
2008
0
A Christmas vacation gets nasty when the kids turn homicidal.
Explanation-free shocker that builds a wee bit of tension then goes for a series of fast-cutting horrific incidents in which it’s difficult to see what’s going on – if it was otherwise you’d probably be able to make out that they’re clunky and unconvincing. There are many modern Brit horrors that are much worse than this one but overall it’s a slim, shallow effort with at least two glaring absurdities: the ambulance that never shows and the woman who can drive with a shattered leg. The kids aren’t very convincing, either.
Dir: Tom Shankland
Stars: Eva Birthistle, Hannah Tointon, Stephen Campbell Moore, Rachel Shelley
THE CHILDREN ACT
2018
**
While having difficulties with her marriage, a flinty judge rules on a case involving recalcitrant Jehovah's Witnesses whose son is in need of a blood transfusion to save his life.
Ian McEwan adopts his own book for this chilly, often stagey drama about withdrawal from the realities of life, in one way or another: either emotionally, or by reliance on ancient texts. It is formidably bossed by Thompson and generally compelling, although there's the vague feeling that the third act - which nevertheless surprises - could have gone in more interesting directions.
Dir: Richard Eyre
Stars: Emma Thompson, Stanley Tucci, Fionn Whitehead, Ben Chaplin
CHILDREN OF A LESSER GOD
1986
*
A teacher of the deaf falls in love with a young cleaner at his school who refuses to attempt speech.
A love story with a difference, and one that impressed the Oscars committee - indeed, it could barely be more up their street. It's well enough done for what it is but not thrilling - and sometimes a little irritating and cheesy.
Dir: Randa Haines
Stars: William Hurt, Marlee Matlin, Piper Laurie, Philip Bosco
THE CHILDREN OF DYNMOUTH
1986 (TV)
*
An obnoxious teenager blackmails people for articles he wants.
Diverting drama with an air of quirkiness and a convincing lead performance.
Dir: Peter Hammond
Stars: John Bird, Peter Jones, Avril Elgar, Simon Fox
CHILDREN OF HEAVEN
1997
**
In Tehran, a young boy loses his sister's shoes but tries hard to atone for it.
One of the more impressive films to come out of Iran at the end of the twentieth century, this is a humane, disarming drama, suitable for all ages, steeped in Iranian culture and settings. It's worth a watch just for an insight into that land alone, but it also works as a yarn - even though the conclusion seems, on the first viewing particularly, a little flat.
Dir: Majid Majidi
Stars: Amir Naji, Mir Farrokh Hashemian, Bahare Seddiqi
CHILDREN OF MEN
2006
*
In 2027 women worldwide have been struck infertile; when one woman somehow gets pregnant, the race is on to get her to sanctuary in the sea.
Muddled and muddy-looking sci-fi set in a dystopian future which looks remarkably like today's London; it takes every opportunity possible to wallow in unpleasantness and misery.
Dir: Alfonso Cuaron
Stars: Clive Owen, Michael Caine, Julianne Moore, Chiwetel Ejiofor
CHILDREN OF THE CORN
1984
0
A young couple visit a mid-western town where all the adults have apparently been killed by the children.
Tepid horror with flashes of better things.
Dir: Fritz Kiersch
Stars: Linda Hamilton, Peter Horton, R G Armstrong
CHILDREN OF THE DAMNED
1963
*
A group of children of abnormal intelligence escape from the scientists who are studying them.
Pointless, unsurprising sequel to Village Of The Damned which can only echo the strengths of the original; even the children are irritating rather than frightening.
Dir: Anton Leader
Stars: Ian Hendry, Alan Badel, Patrick Wymark
CHILDREN SHOULDN’T PLAY WITH DEAD THINGS
1973
0
Six friends in a graveyard accidentally bring the dead back to life.
Peculiar low budget horror which consists of one hour of tiresome, drama school-ish antics followed by some Night Of The Living Dead-like action, which is better, albeit straightforward, though can’t save the film from being a bit rubbish.
Dir: Bob Clark
Stars: Alan Ormsby, Valerie Mamches, Jeff Gillen
CHILD’S PLAY
1954
0
Children use atomic energy to make popcorn.
Trying example of a film made for children featuring a children's gang; it's as testing as listening to a six-year-old not stop talking for hours on end.
Dir: Margaret Thomson
Stars: Christopher Beeny, Anneke Wills, Mona Washbourne, Ballard Berkeley
CHILD'S PLAY
1972
0
At a Catholic boys' school, strange incidents happen and two teachers appear to be at war with one another.
Intense and claustrophobic drama that doesn't even try to escape its theatrical origins: talkative and not especially likeable, it's essentially an actor's piece - certainly no one speaks like this in real life. Answers on a postcard as to what the ending resolves.
Dir: Sidney Lumet
Stars: James Mason, Robert Preston, Beau Bridges
CHILD’S PLAY
1988
*
A boy gets a 'Good Guy' doll for his birthday, but it contains the spirit of a dead killer.
Killer dolls are nothing new, but this offered a fresh enough, nasty twist on the theme to make money and inspire several sequels. Not bad, but audiences shouldn't have too much trouble predicting events ten minutes before they happen.
Dir: Tom Holland
Stars: Chris Sarandon, Brad Dourif, Catherine Hicks
CHILD’S PLAY 2
1990
0
Chucky, the evil killer doll, tracks down the little boy who previously owned him.
Grimly predictable sequel full of routine suspense build-ups.
Dir: John Lafia
Stars: Jenny Agutter, Alex Vincent, Brad Dourif
CHILD'S PLAY 3
1991
*
Chucky heads to the military camp where Andy is now ensconced.
Number three moves the action to new locations, including a forest that plays host to war games and a funfair with a big ghost train, which perhaps highlights how imperative it was to expand the series' horizons: it just about pays off and there's a few decent gory kills and funny lines, albeit along with blind characterisation and inevitable repetition. The film was rather ridiculously blamed by tabloid newspapers for 'inspiring' the Bulger murder.
Dir: Jack Bender
Stars: Brad Dourif, Justin Whalin, Jeremy Sylvers, Andrew Robinson
Sequels: Bride Of Chucky, Seed Of Chucky, Curse Of Chucky (all qv)
CHILLER
1985 (TV)
*
On the brink of death, a man is cryogenically frozen. Ten years later he is revived and comes back, but with no soul.
Above average TV horror, quite well done in all departments.
Dir: Wes Craven
Stars: Michael Beck, Beatrice Straight, Laura Johnson
CHILLERAMA
2011
0
Four short films are shown at a drive-in: Wadzilla, I Was A Teenage Werebear, The Diary Of Anne Frankenstein and Deathication/Zom-B-Movie.
Brain-dead garbage obviously created by talentless juveniles; inane and unfunny, it's the most painful way imaginable to spend two hours.
Dir: Adam Green and four others
Stars: Adam Rifkin, Sarah Mutch, Ray Wise
CHILLERS
1987
0
Stuck in a bus station overnight, travellers tell of recent bad nightmares, which concern swimming lessons, a camping trip, a fling with a newsreader, bringing the dead back to life and an ancient monster in the form of a student.
As awful as it is, this economical anthology is hard to dislike because it has pluck and is sometimes unintentionally hilarious; most of the stories have their moments despite being badly written, directed and acted. The first story has an amusing superfluity of swimming, the second an okay twist, the third is just batty, the fourth appealing but inane and the fifth a bit of a mess.
Dir: Daniel Boyd
Stars: Jess Emery, Marjorie Fitzsimmons, Laurie Pennington
THE CHIMP
1932
**
Stan and Ollie attempt to hide a smuggled circus chimp from their landlord.
Another partial remake of Angora Love (the other was Laughing Gravy); the material is stretched out and the chimp very panto-like, but there are mirthful high points and the instantly funny Gilbert is as wonderful as ever.
Dir: James Parrott
Stars: Stan Laurel, Oliver Hardy, Billy Gilbert, James Finlayson, Tiny Sandford
THE CHINA SYNDROME
1979
**
A reporter uncovers safety hazards at a nuclear power plant.
Absorbing critique of the nuclear power industry, comfortably finding its niche among intelligent, liberal political thrillers.
Dir: James Bridges
Stars: Jane Fonda, Jack Lemmon, Michael Douglas
CHINATOWN
1974
***
A private detective uncovers a vast conspiracy in the water management industry.
The director’s homage to film noir with a splenetic modern twist, exquisitely constructed in terms of period recreation and plot development.
Dir: Roman Polanski
Stars: Jack Nicholson, Faye Dunaway, John Huston, Perry Lopez, Roman Polanski
CHITTY CHITTY BANG BANG
1968
0
An eccentric professor invents a fantastic car, but foreign agents become interested in it.
Tedious and lengthy children's fantasy with poor special effects.
Dir: Ken Hughes
Stars: Dick Van Dyke, Sally Ann Howes, Lionel Jeffries, Gert Frobe, Anna Quayle, Benny Hill, James Robertson Justice, Barbara Windsor
CHOCOLAT
2000
**
In a French village in the 1950s a woman causes a stir when she opens a chocolate shop.
A story about accepting change and differences is coated in a sometimes too sweet layer, but it's a pleasant enough concoction that immerses you in bygone rural life - and the chocolate looks delicious.
Dir: Lasse Hallstrom
Stars: Juliette Binoche, Alfred Molina, Judi Dench, Johnny Depp
THE CHOIRBOYS
1978
0
Los Angeles cops indulge in after-hours debauchery.
Just what the cinema doesn't need - an unpleasant, repellent and unfunny police comedy.
Dir: Robert Aldrich
Stars: Charles Durning, Louis Gossett Jr, Randy Quaid, James Woods
A CHORUS LINE
1985
0
A Broadway choreographer auditions hopefuls for a new show.
There were always going to be difficulties filming this confined, limited show and this adaptation doesn't begin to surmount the problems, saddled as it is with an ugly cast (spouting weird lines) and an unfortunate yucky '80s sheen.
Dir: Richard Attenborough
Stars: Michael Douglas, Terrence Mann, Alyson Reed, Audrey Landers
A CHORUS OF DISAPPROVAL
1989
0
A man staying in Scarborough gets involved in an amateur theatrical production with behind the scenes troubles.
A bad director is mostly the reason this would-be comedy fails, why the performances are so mismatched, why some barely register at all, why it looks so dismal, why the characters never properly build (although Alan Ayckbourn's plays are generally pretty flat). Hopkins' shouty Welsh performance is as unbearable as Irons' affair with the much older Scales is off-putting.
Dir: Michael Winner
Stars: Jeremy Irons, Anthony Hopkins, Jenny Seagrove, Prunella Scales
CHILD’S PLAY
1988
*
A boy gets a 'Good Guy' doll for his birthday, but it contains the spirit of a dead killer.
Killer dolls are nothing new, but this offered a fresh enough, nasty twist on the theme to make money and inspire several sequels. Not bad, but audiences shouldn't have too much trouble predicting events ten minutes before they happen.
Dir: Tom Holland
Stars: Chris Sarandon, Brad Dourif, Catherine Hicks
CHILD’S PLAY 2
1990
0
Chucky, the evil killer doll, tracks down the little boy who previously owned him.
Grimly predictable sequel full of routine suspense build-ups.
Dir: John Lafia
Stars: Jenny Agutter, Alex Vincent, Brad Dourif
CHILD'S PLAY 3
1991
*
Chucky heads to the military camp where Andy is now ensconced.
Number three moves the action to new locations, including a forest that plays host to war games and a funfair with a big ghost train, which perhaps highlights how imperative it was to expand the series' horizons: it just about pays off and there's a few decent gory kills and funny lines, albeit along with blind characterisation and inevitable repetition. The film was rather ridiculously blamed by tabloid newspapers for 'inspiring' the Bulger murder.
Dir: Jack Bender
Stars: Brad Dourif, Justin Whalin, Jeremy Sylvers, Andrew Robinson
Sequels: Bride Of Chucky, Seed Of Chucky, Curse Of Chucky (all qv)
CHILLER
1985 (TV)
*
On the brink of death, a man is cryogenically frozen. Ten years later he is revived and comes back, but with no soul.
Above average TV horror, quite well done in all departments.
Dir: Wes Craven
Stars: Michael Beck, Beatrice Straight, Laura Johnson
CHILLERAMA
2011
0
Four short films are shown at a drive-in: Wadzilla, I Was A Teenage Werebear, The Diary Of Anne Frankenstein and Deathication/Zom-B-Movie.
Brain-dead garbage obviously created by talentless juveniles; inane and unfunny, it's the most painful way imaginable to spend two hours.
Dir: Adam Green and four others
Stars: Adam Rifkin, Sarah Mutch, Ray Wise
CHILLERS
1987
0
Stuck in a bus station overnight, travellers tell of recent bad nightmares, which concern swimming lessons, a camping trip, a fling with a newsreader, bringing the dead back to life and an ancient monster in the form of a student.
As awful as it is, this economical anthology is hard to dislike because it has pluck and is sometimes unintentionally hilarious; most of the stories have their moments despite being badly written, directed and acted. The first story has an amusing superfluity of swimming, the second an okay twist, the third is just batty, the fourth appealing but inane and the fifth a bit of a mess.
Dir: Daniel Boyd
Stars: Jess Emery, Marjorie Fitzsimmons, Laurie Pennington
THE CHIMP
1932
**
Stan and Ollie attempt to hide a smuggled circus chimp from their landlord.
Another partial remake of Angora Love (the other was Laughing Gravy); the material is stretched out and the chimp very panto-like, but there are mirthful high points and the instantly funny Gilbert is as wonderful as ever.
Dir: James Parrott
Stars: Stan Laurel, Oliver Hardy, Billy Gilbert, James Finlayson, Tiny Sandford
THE CHINA SYNDROME
1979
**
A reporter uncovers safety hazards at a nuclear power plant.
Absorbing critique of the nuclear power industry, comfortably finding its niche among intelligent, liberal political thrillers.
Dir: James Bridges
Stars: Jane Fonda, Jack Lemmon, Michael Douglas
CHINATOWN
1974
***
A private detective uncovers a vast conspiracy in the water management industry.
The director’s homage to film noir with a splenetic modern twist, exquisitely constructed in terms of period recreation and plot development.
Dir: Roman Polanski
Stars: Jack Nicholson, Faye Dunaway, John Huston, Perry Lopez, Roman Polanski
CHITTY CHITTY BANG BANG
1968
0
An eccentric professor invents a fantastic car, but foreign agents become interested in it.
Tedious and lengthy children's fantasy with poor special effects.
Dir: Ken Hughes
Stars: Dick Van Dyke, Sally Ann Howes, Lionel Jeffries, Gert Frobe, Anna Quayle, Benny Hill, James Robertson Justice, Barbara Windsor
CHOCOLAT
2000
**
In a French village in the 1950s a woman causes a stir when she opens a chocolate shop.
A story about accepting change and differences is coated in a sometimes too sweet layer, but it's a pleasant enough concoction that immerses you in bygone rural life - and the chocolate looks delicious.
Dir: Lasse Hallstrom
Stars: Juliette Binoche, Alfred Molina, Judi Dench, Johnny Depp
THE CHOIRBOYS
1978
0
Los Angeles cops indulge in after-hours debauchery.
Just what the cinema doesn't need - an unpleasant, repellent and unfunny police comedy.
Dir: Robert Aldrich
Stars: Charles Durning, Louis Gossett Jr, Randy Quaid, James Woods
A CHORUS LINE
1985
0
A Broadway choreographer auditions hopefuls for a new show.
There were always going to be difficulties filming this confined, limited show and this adaptation doesn't begin to surmount the problems, saddled as it is with an ugly cast (spouting weird lines) and an unfortunate yucky '80s sheen.
Dir: Richard Attenborough
Stars: Michael Douglas, Terrence Mann, Alyson Reed, Audrey Landers
A CHORUS OF DISAPPROVAL
1989
0
A man staying in Scarborough gets involved in an amateur theatrical production with behind the scenes troubles.
A bad director is mostly the reason this would-be comedy fails, why the performances are so mismatched, why some barely register at all, why it looks so dismal, why the characters never properly build (although Alan Ayckbourn's plays are generally pretty flat). Hopkins' shouty Welsh performance is as unbearable as Irons' affair with the much older Scales is off-putting.
Dir: Michael Winner
Stars: Jeremy Irons, Anthony Hopkins, Jenny Seagrove, Prunella Scales
CHOSEN SURVIVORS
1974
0
A group of people in an underground bunker are menaced by vampire bats.
The premise is hokey but the treatment is stern, making this a more dour experience than might have been wished for, and one never really becomes invested in any of the individuals. Perhaps it would have worked better as a half-hour Twilight Zone episode.
Dir: Sutton Roley
Stars: Jackie Cooper, Alex Cord, Richard Jaeckel, Bradford Dillman
CHRISTINA
1984
0
A rich and beautiful heiress is kidnapped by a jealous all-female army.
The opening promises that this is the first in a series of films about young Christina but sadly, or possibly fortunately, this never happened: for while our heroine is physically enticing her random adventures don't amount to much, or much that's coherent. It's a shame these sorts of flicks rarely got directors who were actually any good, but that's presumably self-perpetuating; this movie isn't something painful, just dotty.
Dir: Francisco Lara Polop
Stars: Jewel Shepard, Ian Sera, Enrique Johnson
CHRISTINA
1986
0
A husband gets excitement by seeing his wife with other men.
Also known by other titles like Peep Show and Scandalous Emanuelle, this is a dullish erotic drama with actresses who are slightly past their prime for such things. It's hard to get too invested in the antics of the characters slumberously going through this Belle De Jour-type scenario, although the director does manage to give it a moderate air of grace.
Dir: Joe D'Amato
Stars: Jenny Tamburi, Marino Mase, Sebastiano Somma, Laura Gemser
CHRISTINE
1983
0
A dysfunctional teenager buys a car with an evil mind of its own which begins to change him.
Carpenter's King adaptation is an angry and bitter film with a scarcity of sympathetic characters and goes on for too long. Its main merits are the titular gleaming, bright red car and the clever (non CGI) special effects which have the car rebuilding itself after being damaged. Possibly the movie thinks itself deeper than it is, whereas it's really pretty silly (which is partly masked by its grim atmosphere).
Dir: John Carpenter
Stars: Keith Gordon, John Stockwell, Alexandra Paul, Harry Dean Stanton
A CHRISTMAS CAROL
1938
*
Ebeneezer Scrooge is visited by four ghosts on Christmas Eve who make him see the error of his cruel ways.
This version, unseen for many years, offers what appears to be a curtailed version of Christmas past and suffers from a faintly irksome lead and some overdone sentimentality.
Dir: Edwin L Marin
Stars: Reginald Owen, Gene Lockhart, Leo G Carroll
A CHRISTMAS CAROL
1984 (TV)
*
The umpteenth version of Dickens' tale is little different from the majority of its predecessors, and neither particularly good nor bad.
Dir: Clive Donner
Stars: George C Scott, Frank Finlay, Angela Pleasence, Edward Woodward, Susannah York, David Warner, Nigel Davenport
A CHRISTMAS CAROL
2009
*
Disney’s third crack at Dickens’s novella is a visually sumptuous 3D motion-capture version which has to be one of the most stunning looking films ever seen at the cinema. But it’s not a masterpiece, maybe because the animation detaches viewers from the characters, some scenes are perhaps more suited to a Universal Studios theme park ride, and there aren’t the laugh-out-loud moments that you’d expect, especially with Carrey in the lead. It’s also difficult to see who the main target audience is, with a lot of it being way too scary for the little ones. Still, it looks truly dazzling, and that might be enough for some.
Dir: Robert Zemeckis
Voices: Jim Carrey, Gary Oldman, Colin Firth, Bob Hoskins, Robin Wright Penn
CHRISTMAS EVIL
1980
0
A man affected by a childhood incident dresses as Santa Claus and goes on a vengeful spree.
Slow-paced and very drawn out horror thriller which doesn't really make the best of its gimmick, and has a surprisingly low body count. It was on the 'section 3' video nasty list but later released as an uncut 15.
Dir: Lewis Jackson
Stars: Brandon Maggart, Jeffrey DeMunn, Dianne Hull
A CHRISTMAS GIFT FROM BOB
2020
0
A street musician fears that animal welfare will take away his beloved cat at Christmas.
The sequel to A Street Cat Named Bob (qv) is a little desperate, as it tries to eke out a plot from very little; the main problem is that the whole set-up seems false – there’s no way that the authorities would go to such lengths because of a cat and his relationship with this Big Issue seller. Being told in flashback lessens its impact further, although the final credit, dedicating the film to Bob, who in real life died before it was released, does moisten the eyes. Those who can overlook its confected sentiment might still get something out of it. As much as some of us love cats, Bob hasn’t really got a big personality – the fawning over him in the picture is somewhat unrealistic.
Dir: Charles Martin Smith
Stars: Luke Treadaway, Stephen McCole, Anna Wilson-Jones, Bob the cat
CHRISTMAS HOLIDAY
1944
*
A heartbroken soldier hears a tragic tale from a prostitute.
A curious film, an Americanised adaptation of one of Somerset Maugham's weaker novels that, much like the book, has a strange structure (flashbacks in different order) that lessens the drama and suspense. It is, however, extremely well photographed, hints at darker themes and interestingly casts the stars against type. Be warned: it's not very Christmassy!
Dir: Robert Siodmak
Stars: Deanna Durbin, Gene Kelly, Richard Whorf, Gale Sondergaard
THE CHRISTMAS MARTIAN
1971
0
A Martian visits the children of a small town in Quebec.
Egregious kiddies' fantasy.
Dir: Bernard Gosselin
Stars: Marcel Sabourin, Catherine Leduc
A CHRISTMAS STORY
1983
*
In the 1940s, a boy longs for a toy gun for Christmas.
Virtually plotless seasonal tale that appears to particularly appeal to Americans, especially ones familiar with old-fashioned Christmases. It’s well enough done, with plenty of nostalgic observation, and feels rather like an above average TV movie.
Dir: Bob Clark
Stars: Peter Billingsley, Melinda Dillon, Darren McGavin
THE CHRISTMAS TREE
1966
*
Children attempt to get a Christmas tree to a hospital in London.
Diverting CFF cuteness, a sort of kiddie road movie and hence now valuable for its location footage, along with its presentation of juniors largely untroubled by their trek through the country.
Dir: Jim Clark
Stars: William Burleigh, Kate Nicholls, Anthony Honour
THE CHRISTMAS TREE
1969
0
A father tries to give his dying son the best six months of his short life.
Desperately drawn out and unashamedly sentimental drama.
Dir: Terence Young
Stars: William Holden, Virna Lisi, Bourvil
CHRISTOPHER ROBIN
2018
0
An older and jaded Christopher Robin returns to his old friend Winnie the Pooh.
A different fish to the previous year's Goodbye Christopher Robin, this is a weird film that's a mix of styles and of unclear appeal to any particular audience. Unashamedly sentimental, it has a very soggy mid-section involving CG animals, most of whom happen to have irritating voices; not a success.
Dir: Marc Forster
Stars: Ewan McGregor, Hayley Atwell, Mark Gatiss, Bronte Carmichael
A CHUMP AT OXFORD
1940
*
Stan and Ollie are sent to Oxford University, where Stan gets a knock on the head which leads him to believe he is scholar and athlete Lord Paddington.
There are limp passages in this fragmented star vehicle, but it goes out on a high with Stan's splendid impersonation of an upper class English Lord ('Fatty, lift up your chin. No no, both of them'), which he'd never performed previously. It's just a pity that the maze sequence is so tedious and big laughs are mostly absent.
Dir: Alfred J Goulding
Stars: Stan Laurel, Oliver Hardy, Wilfred Lucas, Charlie Hall, Peter Cushing
THE CIDER HOUSE RULES
1999
*
A young man goes out into the world to get away from the orphanage he was raised in.
This will mean a lot more to some than others, but has understated qualities and a not unattractive benign attitude. How Michael Caine got an Oscar with that American accent is a mystery.
Dir: Lasse Hallstrom
Stars: Tobey Maguire, Charlize Theron, Michael Caine, Delroy Lindo, Paul Rudd
CIMARRON
1930
**
The story of a homesteader in Oklahoma.
A bit stodgy, vague and dated it may be, but this sprawling drama offers up most of the qualities associated with a time-spanning yarn about historical change.
Dir: Wesley Ruggles
Stars: Richard Dix, Irene Dunne, Estelle Taylor, Nance O’Neil
CINDERELLA
1950
**
Cinderella's cruel stepmother prevents her from attending the Royal Ball, but her Fairy Godmother steps in.
The main story is padded out by cat-and-mouse tomfoolery, but the film is eventually jocular and suspenseful.
Dir: Clyde Geronimi, Wilfred Jackson, Hamilton Luske
Voices: Ilene Woods, Helene Stanley, Eleanor Audley
CINDERELLA
1977
0
Prince Charming chooses his bride based on the woman who most sexually satisfied him when he was blindfolded.
One of the many adult fairy tales of the era, this is so slow it feels like the story is stuck in treacle, not aided by some throwaway songs, but it's bright natured and quite sexy. We are promised a sequel at the end - hah.
Dir: Michael Pataki
Stars: Cheryl Smith, Yana Nirvana, Sy Richardson
CINDERELLA MAN
2005
**
All a man can do to survive the Great Depression is to box in increasingly dangerous fights.
The human drama works, the era is convincingly evoked, and the boxing matches among the more convincing put on screen.
Dir: Ron Howard
Stars: Russell Crowe, Renee Zellweger, Paul Giamatti, Craig Bierko, Paddy Considine
CINDERELLA 2000
1977
0
In the future, sex is forbidden, but one girl attempts to defy the authorities.
Flesh Gordon-style sex comedy sci-fi musical, cheap and inept, not bothering to rise to satire.
Dir: Al Adamson
Stars: Catherine Erhardt, Jay B Larson, Renee Harmon
CINEMA PARADISO
1989
****
A famous film director returns to the Sicilian village he grew up in, and reminisces about his relationship with the elderly cinema projectionist.
Beautiful evocation of small-town life and the journey from boyhood to manhood.
Dir: Giuseppe Tornatore
Stars: Antonella Attili, Enzo Cannavale, Isa Danieli, Marco Leonardi
CINDERELLA MAN
2005
**
All a man can do to survive the Great Depression is to box in increasingly dangerous fights.
The human drama works, the era is convincingly evoked, and the boxing matches among the more convincing put on screen.
Dir: Ron Howard
Stars: Russell Crowe, Renee Zellweger, Paul Giamatti, Craig Bierko, Paddy Considine
CINDERELLA 2000
1977
0
In the future, sex is forbidden, but one girl attempts to defy the authorities.
Flesh Gordon-style sex comedy sci-fi musical, cheap and inept, not bothering to rise to satire.
Dir: Al Adamson
Stars: Catherine Erhardt, Jay B Larson, Renee Harmon
CINEMA PARADISO
1989
****
A famous film director returns to the Sicilian village he grew up in, and reminisces about his relationship with the elderly cinema projectionist.
Beautiful evocation of small-town life and the journey from boyhood to manhood.
Dir: Giuseppe Tornatore
Stars: Antonella Attili, Enzo Cannavale, Isa Danieli, Marco Leonardi
THE CIRCUS
1928
*
A tramp on the run from cops takes up at a circus.
The first 15 minutes of this film are the star at his best but it doesn't maintain that quality - perhaps it wasn't possible to; it's unlikely to persuade those resistant to Chaplin to embrace him, but it has nice moments, if little that's laugh out loud funny.
Dir: Charlie Chaplin
Stars: Charlie Chaplin, Merna Kennedy, Al Ernest Garcia, Tiny Sandford
CIRCUS OF FEAR
1967
0
A reporter 'fakes' a murder - but the victim turns out to be really dead.
Stiff, talky mystery with schlocky moments; Lee isn't in it as much as would be hoped, and wears a hood a lot of the time.
Dir: John Llewellyn Moxey
Stars: Christopher Lee, Leo Genn, Anthony Newlands, Klaus Kinski, Suzy Kendall, Cecil Parker
CIRCUS OF HORRORS
1960
0
Police investigate when circus women keep dying in mysterious accidents.
Unbelievable guff, as plastic as the surgery in it.
Dir: Sidney Hayers
Stars: Anton Diffring, Donald Pleasence, Kenneth Griffith
THE CITADEL
1938
**
A young doctor starts practising in a Welsh mining town where he aims to discover why so many of the men have a persistent cough.
The sort of film Hollywood liked making around the time, and they often did it well, such as here; while Donat's journey isn't jaw-dropping, it's one worth following. It rather feels like what it was, a truncated version of a sizeable novel, but makes salient points about the medical profession.
Dir: King Vidor
Stars: Robert Donat, Rosalind Russell, Ralph Richardson, Rex Harrison
CITIZEN KANE
1941
****
After the death of a publishing tycoon, a journalist attempts to uncover the meaning of his last spoken word, 'Rosebud'.
A superb slice of cinema by any era's standards, this didn't just set the benchmark for biographical pictures and Orson Welles but the making of movies, full stop. Resonant dialogue is paired with visionary shooting techniques and a remarkably innovative narrative structure to stunning effect - if not the greatest film of all time, it's not far off. To fully appreciate its genius (it's the human experience made pure cinema), newcomers should avail themselves with detailed, intelligent critiques of it, and then watch it again and again.
Dir: Orson Welles
Stars: Orson Welles, Joseph Cotten, Dorothy Comingore, Everett Sloane, Agnes Moorehead
CITY BENEATH THE SEA
1953
0
Divers attempt to salvage a wreck which was sunk with millions in gold.
Routine double-biller.
Dir: Budd Boetticher
Stars: Robert Ryan, Mala Powers, Anthony Quinn
CITY HEAT
1984
0
In 1930s Kansas, two detectives who loathe each other join up to fight the mob.
This much-touted face-off between two of the decade's biggest stars ends up doing little new, sticking with the familiar formula of guns and fist fights.
Dir: Richard Benjamin
Stars: Clint Eastwood, Burt Reynolds, Madeline Kahn, Rip Torn
CITY LIGHTS
1931
***
A tramp tries to help a blind flower girl he has fallen in love with.
One of Chaplin's finest, an elegantly composed love story with inspired moments of ingenious pantomime.
Dir: Charles Chaplin
Stars: Charles Chaplin, Virginia Cherrill, Harry Myers
CITY OF GOD
2002
***
Delinquent children run wild in one of Rio de Janeiro's most desperate and crime-ridden districts.
Visceral evocation of hopeless lives spent in hell, it is superbly controlled and exciting enough to avoid being too depressing.
Dir: Fernando Meirelles, Katia Lund
Stars: Alexandre Rodrigues, Leandro Firmino
THE CITY OF THE DEAD
1960
*
A woman stays at an inn in a New England village known for witchcraft.
Amicus's first feature is this taut and atmospheric tale which happens to have plot similarities to Psycho.
Dir: John Llewellyn Moxey
Stars: Christopher Lee, Patricia Jessel, Valentine Dyall
CITY OF THE LIVING DEAD
1983
0
When a priest commits suicide, the gates of Hell open and the dead rise up.
Gaudy shocker with shock after shock but no logical plot development or intelligent dialogue.
Dir: Lucio Fulci
Stars: Christopher George, Catriona MacColl, Michele Soavi
CITY ON FIRE
1979
0
The sacked employee of a chemical plant gets his revenge by causing an explosion that sets the city ablaze.
Minor disaster movie of minor interest.
Dir: Alvin Rakoff
Stars: Barry Newman, Shelley Winters, Leslie Nielsen, James Franciscus, Ava Gardner, Henry Fonda
CITY UNDER THE SEA
1965
0
In 1903 Cornwall, locals discover they live near an underwater city of smugglers.
Uncompelling fantasy for matinees.
Dir: Jacques Tourneur
Stars: Vincent Price, Tab Hunter, David Tomlinson
THE CLAIRVOYANT
1935
*
A man who can see the future is accused of causing the disaster he foretold.
Adequate melodrama with a theme that would become well worn.
Dir: Maurice Elvey
Stars: Claude Rains, Fay Wray, Mary Clare
THE CLAN OF THE CAVE BEAR
1986
0
A blonde homo sapien woman is brought up by Neanderthals.
Earnest tale of prehistoric trials and tribulations with a feminist angle; it never really gets going.
Dir: Michael Chapman
Stars: Daryl Hannah, Pamela Reed, James Remar
CLASH BY NIGHT
1964
*
A plot is hatched to spring a convict from a bus heading to a prison.
Marginally eye-catching B-feature; intriguingly if implausibly set up, it strays a bit all over the place plot-wise, so there's never much of a build-up of tension. Slightly above average but a little frustrating.
Dir: Montgomery Tully
Stars: Terence Longdon, Jennifer Jayne, Harry Fowler, Peter Sallis
CLASH OF THE TITANS
1981
*
Perseus has to undergo a series of tests of he is to rescue Andromeda.
Routine Greek myths runaround with special effects that don't convince.
Dir: Desmond Davis
Stars: Harry Hamlin, Laurence Olivier, Claire Bloom, Maggie Smith, Ursula Andress, Pat Roach, Burgess Meredith
CLASS
1983
0
A 17-year-old has a fling with his friend's mother.
Torpid Graduate-type comedy with jarring changes in mood.
Dir: Lewis John Carlino
Stars: Jacqueline Bisset, Rob Lowe, Andrew McCarthy, Cliff Robertson, John Cusack
CLASS OF 1984
1981
*
A new teacher starts at a super-tough inner city high school.
Brutal updating of The Blackboard Jungle (qv), completely over the top but undeniably compelling.
Dir: Mark L Lester
Stars: Perry King, Timothy Van Patten, Roddy McDowall, Michael J Fox
CLASS OF 1999
1990
*
Robot teachers are used to keep control of rough school pupils.
Sci-fi successor to Class Of 1984, with enjoyable borrowings from the likes of Terminator and Robocop.
Dir: Mark L Lester
Stars: Bradley Gregg, Traci Lind, Malcolm McDowell, Stacy Keach, Pam Grier
THE CLASS OF '92
2013
**
Documentary about Manchester United in the 1990s and in particular six young players who inspired the team to greatness.
Man United fans are likely to be in ecstasy, and this is an enjoyable film with a few punch-the-air moments for those who love the game, but it's a mite disordered and oddly focused; certainly the appearance of Tony Blair, while no doubt a coup for the makers, is a little strange, and a broader sense of the club's success, as well as the players' careers after the end of the decade, would have been welcome. A pretty absorbing 90 minutes or so though.
Dir: Benjamin Turner, Gabe Turner
Stars: David Beckham, Gary Neville, Phil Neville, Ryan Giggs, Nicky Butt, Paul Scholes
CLASS OF NUKE ’EM HIGH
1986
0
A nuclear plant has a hideous effect on the school next door.
Semi-professional, truly grotesque sci-fi very typical of Troma studios.
Dir: Richard W Haines, Michael Herz, Lloyd Kaufman
Stars: Janelle Brady, Gil Brenton
CLEGG
1969
0
A tough private eye investigates when businessmen are given cards telling them they will be murdered.
Incompetent thriller with ideas above its station, it completely fizzles out towards the end.
Dir: Lindsay Shonteff
Stars: Gilbert Wynne, Gary Hope, Gilly Grant
CLEOPATRA
1934
*
Cleopatra has not one but two Roman leaders fall for her.
Compared to the extravaganza of 29 years later this is considerably less opulent and thankfully not nearly as long - it's history made easily digestible, with plenty to enjoy for Thirties film historians. Colbert easily outshines her male co-stars.
Dir: Cecil B DeMille
Stars: Claudette Colbert, Warren William, Henry Wilcoxon, C Aubrey Smith
CLEOPATRA
1963
*
The Queen of Egypt marries Julius Caesar and then, after he is assassinated, throws her lot in with his friend Mark Antony.
The eternally famous example of Hollywood decadence will never be anything other than a moderate endurance test but there can be no denying that there are things to enjoy, not least the sheer grandeur of some of the spectacle, with thousands upon thousands of actors clad in authentic costume, as well as the vigorous dialogue exchanges between the 20th century's most effervescent movie couple. But it is too long, the talk can be wearing, and its ambitions tend to be channelled in the wrong directions.
Dir: Joseph L Mankiewicz
Stars: Elizabeth Taylor, Richard Burton, Rex Harrison, Roddy McDowall
CLERKS
1993
**
A day in the life of two convenience store clerks.
Sharply scripted, witty ponderings on not very much.
Dir: Kevin Smith
Stars: Brian O’Halloran, Jeff Anderson, Marilyn Ghigliotti
CLICK
2006
0
A hassled architect is given a remote control that can be used to control life itself.
Execrable vehicle for an unlovely star, a senseless modern-day A Christmas Carol which starts out as a misfiring comedy and ends in emetic, maudlin fashion, all with a mean-natured and immature streak running through the middle.
Dir: Frank Coraci
Stars: Adam Sandler, Kate Beckinsale, David Hasselhoff, Christopher Walken, Henry Winkler, Julie Kavner
THE CLIMAX
1944
0
A man becomes obsessed with an opera singer who eerily resembles the woman he loved and murdered.
Handsome, rather stiff semi-horror with more singing than Karloff being creepy; shot on the same sets as the previous year's Phantom Of The Opera, it doesn't have a plot that's as strong.
Dir: George Waggner
Stars: Boris Karloff, Susanna Foster, Turhan Bey, Gale Sondergaard
THE CLINIC
1982
0
Happenings at a clinic for venereal diseases.
Hard to like comic drama, very Australian.
Dir: David Stevens
Stars: Chris Haywood, Simon Burke
CLINIC XCLUSIVE
1971
0
The owner of a health club blackmails several of her wealthy clients.
Mostly staid soap opera (with a little sex), almost as dim as TV's Crossroads, which its producers were responsible for. A final twist only partly redeems it.
Dir: Don Chaffey
Stars: Polly Adams, Windsor Davies, Vincent Ball, Mike Lewin
CLOCKWISE
1986
*
A punctilious headmaster struggles to arrive at a conference on time.
Entertaining comedy of misfortune, as close as we got to a film of Fawlty Towers.
Dir: Christopher Morahan
Stars: John Cleese, Alison Steadman, Penny Leatherbarrow
CLONE
2010
0
A woman clones her boyfriend after he is killed and brings him up as her son.
If they’d cut the pauses between dialogue out of this film it would have been ten minutes long; instead it’s a glacial, brooding, mournful and maddeningly taciturn film that could barely be more portentous. There’s a germ of an intriguing idea here but the director appears unwilling or incapable of making it bloom into a satisfactory drama.
Dir: Benedek Fliegauf
Stars: Eva Green, Matt Smith, Lesley Manville, Peter Wight
CLOSE ENCOUNTERS OF THE THIRD KIND
1977
**
After a cable worker witnesses a UFO in the sky, he becomes obsessed with establishing contact with aliens.
A flawed film and not an especially likeable one, which sees our 'hero' go on a long search for aliens who make an entrance with ten minutes to go. Big and clumsy and noisy, but with an undeniably ‘special’ feel.
Dir: Steven Spielberg
Stars: Richard Dreyfuss, Francois Truffaut, Teri Garr, Bob Balaban
CLOSE MY EYES
1991
**
A man begins a sexual relationship with his sister.
Awkwardly set up then uncomfortably compelling drama with sagacious use of locations and minor characters.
Dir: Stephen Poliakoff
Stars: Alan Rickman, Clive Owen, Saskia Reeves
THE CLOUDED YELLOW
1951
*
A former secret service agent helps a girl go on the run when she is accused of murder.
A very thin excuse to engineer a chase around England, but it’s gratifying to see so much footage of the likes of London, Newcastle, Liverpool and The Lakes. An easy watch.
Dir: Ralph Thomas
Stars: Trevor Howard, Jean Simmons, Kenneth More, Barry Jones, Andre Morell, Richard Wattis, Geoffrey Keen
CLOWNHOUSE
1990
0
Children are menaced by three escaped mental patients dressed as clowns.
We want the horrible kids to get it in this inane horror which makes you scream at its stupidity, not scariness.
Dir: Victor Salva
Stars: Nathan Forrest Winters, Sam Rockwell, Brian McHugh
CLUB DREAD
2004
0
A serial killer interrupts the fun at a swingers' hedonistic island paradise.
An unbelievably bad movie, a horrendously incompetent, painfully egregious excuse for celluloid which deserves utter obscurity.
Dir: Jay Chandrasekhar
Stars: Jordan Ladd, Brittany Daniel, Elena Lyons, Michael Weaver
CLUE
1986
**
Six guests at a large country house have a murder mystery to solve.
Beguiling novelty, surely unique in being a film based on a board game.
Dir: Jonathan Lynn
Stars: Tim Curry, Madeline Kahn, Christopher Lloyd, Michael McKean, Lesley Ann Warren
CLUE OF THE NEW PIN
1961
*
A rich man is discovered dead inside his own impregnable vault.
Generally considered to be among the better Edgar Wallace thrillers, this mystery's moment of ingenuity surely masks an absurdity: how could his pin trick possibly exonerate the murderer, who still had motive, no alibi and, presumably, fragments of gunpowder on his hand? Also, how did the police get the vault open if there was only one key to open it? And surely they could have tracked Ramsey Brown down? There's other daftness too, but asides from all this it's a fairly painless hour.
Dir: Allan Davis
Stars: Paul Daneman, James Villiers, Bernard Archard
CLUE OF THE SILVER KEY
1961
0
When an unpopular millionaire is murdered, there are several suspects.
Typical Edgar Wallace Mystery that's not without intrigue but is rather flatly directed. The cast is, as often in this series, pretty decent.
Dir: Gerard Glaister
Stars: Bernard Lee, Lyndon Brook, Finlay Currie, Patrick Cargill
CLUE OF THE TWISTED CANDLE
1960
*
A rich foreign businessman is in fear for his life but may be involved in murder himself.
The very first of the Edgar Wallace Mysteries (all qv), 47 hour-long [mostly unconnected] features made at Merton Park Studios in the early 1960s that generally offered competent and likeable crime dramas - they were sold to American television to form a series. This plot-packed debut rattles along with equal dashes of absurdity and ingenuity but is never less than genuine, solid B-picture mystery entertainment, evoking feelings for a disappeared Britain.
Dir: Allan Davis
Stars: Bernard Lee, David Knight, Francis de Wolff
CLUELESS
1995
**
A popular high school student takes a newcomer under her wing.
Witty comedy that may be light on the plot front but offers sharp and idiosyncratic dialogue that had a not inconsiderable effect on the speaking patterns of America; it also benefits from Silverstone at her most winsome.
Dir: Amy Heckerling
Stars: Alicia Silverstone, Brittany Murphy, Paul Rudd, Breckin Meyer
COAL MINER'S DAUGHTER
1980
***
The story of country singer Loretta Lynn's journey from poverty to international stardom.
Accomplished biopic, as well done as could be, probably the career high of the director and the stars. Just a shame country music is rubbish.
Dir: Michael Apted
Stars: Sissy Spacek, Tommy Lee Jones, Levon Helm, Beverly D'Angelo
COBAIN: MONTAGE OF HECK
2015
**
Documentary about the life of Nirvana musician Kurt Cobain, featuring previously unseen art, performances and home movies.
A music biopic that's superior to many because of the materials it can access - including footage of Cobain when he was a young boy and his various doodles and scribbles - and the fine animation sequences which are accompanied by verbal recordings the singer made; interviews with the likes of his parents and Courtney Love further illuminate it, but the sad truth is that Cobain was screwed up young by his parents' separation, and then was addicted to heroin for most of his adult life. What great songs though, and a film that's a lot better than its title.
Dir: Brett Morgen
CIRCUS OF FEAR
1967
0
A reporter 'fakes' a murder - but the victim turns out to be really dead.
Stiff, talky mystery with schlocky moments; Lee isn't in it as much as would be hoped, and wears a hood a lot of the time.
Dir: John Llewellyn Moxey
Stars: Christopher Lee, Leo Genn, Anthony Newlands, Klaus Kinski, Suzy Kendall, Cecil Parker
CIRCUS OF HORRORS
1960
0
Police investigate when circus women keep dying in mysterious accidents.
Unbelievable guff, as plastic as the surgery in it.
Dir: Sidney Hayers
Stars: Anton Diffring, Donald Pleasence, Kenneth Griffith
THE CITADEL
1938
**
A young doctor starts practising in a Welsh mining town where he aims to discover why so many of the men have a persistent cough.
The sort of film Hollywood liked making around the time, and they often did it well, such as here; while Donat's journey isn't jaw-dropping, it's one worth following. It rather feels like what it was, a truncated version of a sizeable novel, but makes salient points about the medical profession.
Dir: King Vidor
Stars: Robert Donat, Rosalind Russell, Ralph Richardson, Rex Harrison
CITIZEN KANE
1941
****
After the death of a publishing tycoon, a journalist attempts to uncover the meaning of his last spoken word, 'Rosebud'.
A superb slice of cinema by any era's standards, this didn't just set the benchmark for biographical pictures and Orson Welles but the making of movies, full stop. Resonant dialogue is paired with visionary shooting techniques and a remarkably innovative narrative structure to stunning effect - if not the greatest film of all time, it's not far off. To fully appreciate its genius (it's the human experience made pure cinema), newcomers should avail themselves with detailed, intelligent critiques of it, and then watch it again and again.
Dir: Orson Welles
Stars: Orson Welles, Joseph Cotten, Dorothy Comingore, Everett Sloane, Agnes Moorehead
CITY BENEATH THE SEA
1953
0
Divers attempt to salvage a wreck which was sunk with millions in gold.
Routine double-biller.
Dir: Budd Boetticher
Stars: Robert Ryan, Mala Powers, Anthony Quinn
CITY HEAT
1984
0
In 1930s Kansas, two detectives who loathe each other join up to fight the mob.
This much-touted face-off between two of the decade's biggest stars ends up doing little new, sticking with the familiar formula of guns and fist fights.
Dir: Richard Benjamin
Stars: Clint Eastwood, Burt Reynolds, Madeline Kahn, Rip Torn
CITY LIGHTS
1931
***
A tramp tries to help a blind flower girl he has fallen in love with.
One of Chaplin's finest, an elegantly composed love story with inspired moments of ingenious pantomime.
Dir: Charles Chaplin
Stars: Charles Chaplin, Virginia Cherrill, Harry Myers
CITY OF GOD
2002
***
Delinquent children run wild in one of Rio de Janeiro's most desperate and crime-ridden districts.
Visceral evocation of hopeless lives spent in hell, it is superbly controlled and exciting enough to avoid being too depressing.
Dir: Fernando Meirelles, Katia Lund
Stars: Alexandre Rodrigues, Leandro Firmino
THE CITY OF THE DEAD
1960
*
A woman stays at an inn in a New England village known for witchcraft.
Amicus's first feature is this taut and atmospheric tale which happens to have plot similarities to Psycho.
Dir: John Llewellyn Moxey
Stars: Christopher Lee, Patricia Jessel, Valentine Dyall
CITY OF THE LIVING DEAD
1983
0
When a priest commits suicide, the gates of Hell open and the dead rise up.
Gaudy shocker with shock after shock but no logical plot development or intelligent dialogue.
Dir: Lucio Fulci
Stars: Christopher George, Catriona MacColl, Michele Soavi
CITY ON FIRE
1979
0
The sacked employee of a chemical plant gets his revenge by causing an explosion that sets the city ablaze.
Minor disaster movie of minor interest.
Dir: Alvin Rakoff
Stars: Barry Newman, Shelley Winters, Leslie Nielsen, James Franciscus, Ava Gardner, Henry Fonda
CITY UNDER THE SEA
1965
0
In 1903 Cornwall, locals discover they live near an underwater city of smugglers.
Uncompelling fantasy for matinees.
Dir: Jacques Tourneur
Stars: Vincent Price, Tab Hunter, David Tomlinson
CIVIL WAR
2024
**
In a future dystopian America, journalists travel to DC to meet the besieged President.
Could something like this happen? Maybe. This interesting movie takes care not to spell out the politics of what's going on, allowing viewers to interpret it as they will, instead focusing on the relationships in the group, particularly between the female photographers, and then delivering long, stunning action set-pieces that are violent and often shocking. It's apt that a film about photographers is splendidly shot - the imagery really does stand out, and helps make this is a movie of quality.
Dir: Alex Garland
Stars: Kirsten Dunst, Wagner Moura, Cailee Spaeny, Stephen McKinley Henderson
THE CLAIRVOYANT
1935
*
A man who can see the future is accused of causing the disaster he foretold.
Adequate melodrama with a theme that would become well worn.
Dir: Maurice Elvey
Stars: Claude Rains, Fay Wray, Mary Clare
THE CLAN OF THE CAVE BEAR
1986
0
A blonde homo sapien woman is brought up by Neanderthals.
Earnest tale of prehistoric trials and tribulations with a feminist angle; it never really gets going.
Dir: Michael Chapman
Stars: Daryl Hannah, Pamela Reed, James Remar
CLASH BY NIGHT
1964
*
A plot is hatched to spring a convict from a bus heading to a prison.
Marginally eye-catching B-feature; intriguingly if implausibly set up, it strays a bit all over the place plot-wise, so there's never much of a build-up of tension. Slightly above average but a little frustrating.
Dir: Montgomery Tully
Stars: Terence Longdon, Jennifer Jayne, Harry Fowler, Peter Sallis
CLASH OF THE TITANS
1981
*
Perseus has to undergo a series of tests of he is to rescue Andromeda.
Routine Greek myths runaround with special effects that don't convince.
Dir: Desmond Davis
Stars: Harry Hamlin, Laurence Olivier, Claire Bloom, Maggie Smith, Ursula Andress, Pat Roach, Burgess Meredith
CLASS
1983
0
A 17-year-old has a fling with his friend's mother.
Torpid Graduate-type comedy with jarring changes in mood.
Dir: Lewis John Carlino
Stars: Jacqueline Bisset, Rob Lowe, Andrew McCarthy, Cliff Robertson, John Cusack
CLASS OF 1984
1981
*
A new teacher starts at a super-tough inner city high school.
Brutal updating of The Blackboard Jungle (qv), completely over the top but undeniably compelling.
Dir: Mark L Lester
Stars: Perry King, Timothy Van Patten, Roddy McDowall, Michael J Fox
CLASS OF 1999
1990
*
Robot teachers are used to keep control of rough school pupils.
Sci-fi successor to Class Of 1984, with enjoyable borrowings from the likes of Terminator and Robocop.
Dir: Mark L Lester
Stars: Bradley Gregg, Traci Lind, Malcolm McDowell, Stacy Keach, Pam Grier
THE CLASS OF '92
2013
**
Documentary about Manchester United in the 1990s and in particular six young players who inspired the team to greatness.
Man United fans are likely to be in ecstasy, and this is an enjoyable film with a few punch-the-air moments for those who love the game, but it's a mite disordered and oddly focused; certainly the appearance of Tony Blair, while no doubt a coup for the makers, is a little strange, and a broader sense of the club's success, as well as the players' careers after the end of the decade, would have been welcome. A pretty absorbing 90 minutes or so though.
Dir: Benjamin Turner, Gabe Turner
Stars: David Beckham, Gary Neville, Phil Neville, Ryan Giggs, Nicky Butt, Paul Scholes
CLASS OF NUKE ’EM HIGH
1986
0
A nuclear plant has a hideous effect on the school next door.
Semi-professional, truly grotesque sci-fi very typical of Troma studios.
Dir: Richard W Haines, Michael Herz, Lloyd Kaufman
Stars: Janelle Brady, Gil Brenton
CLEGG
1969
0
A tough private eye investigates when businessmen are given cards telling them they will be murdered.
Incompetent thriller with ideas above its station, it completely fizzles out towards the end.
Dir: Lindsay Shonteff
Stars: Gilbert Wynne, Gary Hope, Gilly Grant
CLEOPATRA
1934
*
Cleopatra has not one but two Roman leaders fall for her.
Compared to the extravaganza of 29 years later this is considerably less opulent and thankfully not nearly as long - it's history made easily digestible, with plenty to enjoy for Thirties film historians. Colbert easily outshines her male co-stars.
Dir: Cecil B DeMille
Stars: Claudette Colbert, Warren William, Henry Wilcoxon, C Aubrey Smith
CLEOPATRA
1963
*
The Queen of Egypt marries Julius Caesar and then, after he is assassinated, throws her lot in with his friend Mark Antony.
The eternally famous example of Hollywood decadence will never be anything other than a moderate endurance test but there can be no denying that there are things to enjoy, not least the sheer grandeur of some of the spectacle, with thousands upon thousands of actors clad in authentic costume, as well as the vigorous dialogue exchanges between the 20th century's most effervescent movie couple. But it is too long, the talk can be wearing, and its ambitions tend to be channelled in the wrong directions.
Dir: Joseph L Mankiewicz
Stars: Elizabeth Taylor, Richard Burton, Rex Harrison, Roddy McDowall
CLERKS
1993
**
A day in the life of two convenience store clerks.
Sharply scripted, witty ponderings on not very much.
Dir: Kevin Smith
Stars: Brian O’Halloran, Jeff Anderson, Marilyn Ghigliotti
CLICK
2006
0
A hassled architect is given a remote control that can be used to control life itself.
Execrable vehicle for an unlovely star, a senseless modern-day A Christmas Carol which starts out as a misfiring comedy and ends in emetic, maudlin fashion, all with a mean-natured and immature streak running through the middle.
Dir: Frank Coraci
Stars: Adam Sandler, Kate Beckinsale, David Hasselhoff, Christopher Walken, Henry Winkler, Julie Kavner
CLIMATE: THE MOVIE
2024
**
Documentary that debunks the so-called 'climate emergency' and explains why the idea has gained ground.
A clear-headed and insightful film that talks to a variety of top scientists who do not adhere to the narrative being pushed by the mainstream media and political class; unlike their opponents, these scientists are properly interested in science, they do not wish to control populations or make billions. Durkin should be congratulated for a valuable contribution to a subject of vital importance that we're barely allowed to talk about.
Dir: Martin Durkin
THE CLIMAX
1944
0
A man becomes obsessed with an opera singer who eerily resembles the woman he loved and murdered.
Handsome, rather stiff semi-horror with more singing than Karloff being creepy; shot on the same sets as the previous year's Phantom Of The Opera, it doesn't have a plot that's as strong.
Dir: George Waggner
Stars: Boris Karloff, Susanna Foster, Turhan Bey, Gale Sondergaard
THE CLINIC
1982
0
Happenings at a clinic for venereal diseases.
Hard to like comic drama, very Australian.
Dir: David Stevens
Stars: Chris Haywood, Simon Burke
CLINIC XCLUSIVE
1971
0
The owner of a health club blackmails several of her wealthy clients.
Mostly staid soap opera (with a little sex), almost as dim as TV's Crossroads, which its producers were responsible for. A final twist only partly redeems it.
Dir: Don Chaffey
Stars: Polly Adams, Windsor Davies, Vincent Ball, Mike Lewin
CLOCKWISE
1986
*
A punctilious headmaster struggles to arrive at a conference on time.
Entertaining comedy of misfortune, as close as we got to a film of Fawlty Towers.
Dir: Christopher Morahan
Stars: John Cleese, Alison Steadman, Penny Leatherbarrow
A CLOCKWORK ORANGE
1971
****
In the near future, a young thug named Alex terrorises the streets with his 'droogs'. He is captured and forced to have controversial therapy to calm his violent and sexual impulses.
Kubrick's dazzling adaptation of Burgess's novel is cinema at its most powerful and prescient and remains an incomparable film experience. Watched for the umpteenth time, what still strikes are the long, meticulous takes, the startlingly original visuals, the detail in the sets and costumes, the bracing soundtrack, the broad, OTT performances and the sheer funniness of much of it. It's almost like life itself – if one tiny element in its genesis was altered it wouldn’t be the thing it is. What exactly Kubrick was trying to say with his sex and violence opera remains a little mysterious - opinions are not in short supply on the internet, though.
Dir: Stanley Kubrick
Stars: Malcolm McDowell, Patrick Magee, Michael Bates, Warren Clarke, Adrienne Corri, Michael Glover
CLONE
2010
0
A woman clones her boyfriend after he is killed and brings him up as her son.
If they’d cut the pauses between dialogue out of this film it would have been ten minutes long; instead it’s a glacial, brooding, mournful and maddeningly taciturn film that could barely be more portentous. There’s a germ of an intriguing idea here but the director appears unwilling or incapable of making it bloom into a satisfactory drama.
Dir: Benedek Fliegauf
Stars: Eva Green, Matt Smith, Lesley Manville, Peter Wight
CLOSE ENCOUNTERS OF THE THIRD KIND
1977
**
After a cable worker witnesses a UFO in the sky, he becomes obsessed with establishing contact with aliens.
A flawed film and not an especially likeable one, which sees our 'hero' go on a long search for aliens who make an entrance with ten minutes to go. Big and clumsy and noisy, but with an undeniably ‘special’ feel.
Dir: Steven Spielberg
Stars: Richard Dreyfuss, Francois Truffaut, Teri Garr, Bob Balaban
CLOSE MY EYES
1991
**
A man begins a sexual relationship with his sister.
Awkwardly set up then uncomfortably compelling drama with sagacious use of locations and minor characters.
Dir: Stephen Poliakoff
Stars: Alan Rickman, Clive Owen, Saskia Reeves
CLOSER
2004
*
The sexual complications between two men and two women.
An anti-rom com, an intense drama about unlikeable people who don't seem very real, although that may be the point: the most loathsome is Owen's character, who also speaks dialogue which is very much Written By Patrick Marber For A Play - but to be fair, some of the dialogue is sharp. Really an actors' piece that is chilly, insular and dark, it tells you that relationships are messy, and does so in such a way as to be a turn-off; many couples watching this together will have wished they hadn't. Better delineation of time periods might have been a nice service to the viewer.
Dir: Mike Nichols
Stars: Jude Law, Julia Roberts, Natalie Portman, Clive Owen
THE CLOUDED YELLOW
1951
*
A former secret service agent helps a girl go on the run when she is accused of murder.
A very thin excuse to engineer a chase around England, but it’s gratifying to see so much footage of the likes of London, Newcastle, Liverpool and The Lakes. An easy watch.
Dir: Ralph Thomas
Stars: Trevor Howard, Jean Simmons, Kenneth More, Barry Jones, Andre Morell, Richard Wattis, Geoffrey Keen
CLOWNHOUSE
1990
0
Children are menaced by three escaped mental patients dressed as clowns.
We want the horrible kids to get it in this inane horror which makes you scream at its stupidity, not scariness.
Dir: Victor Salva
Stars: Nathan Forrest Winters, Sam Rockwell, Brian McHugh
CLUB DREAD
2004
0
A serial killer interrupts the fun at a swingers' hedonistic island paradise.
An unbelievably bad movie, a horrendously incompetent, painfully egregious excuse for celluloid which deserves utter obscurity.
Dir: Jay Chandrasekhar
Stars: Jordan Ladd, Brittany Daniel, Elena Lyons, Michael Weaver
CLUE
1986
**
Six guests at a large country house have a murder mystery to solve.
Beguiling novelty, surely unique in being a film based on a board game.
Dir: Jonathan Lynn
Stars: Tim Curry, Madeline Kahn, Christopher Lloyd, Michael McKean, Lesley Ann Warren
CLUE OF THE NEW PIN
1961
*
A rich man is discovered dead inside his own impregnable vault.
Generally considered to be among the better Edgar Wallace thrillers, this mystery's moment of ingenuity surely masks an absurdity: how could his pin trick possibly exonerate the murderer, who still had motive, no alibi and, presumably, fragments of gunpowder on his hand? Also, how did the police get the vault open if there was only one key to open it? And surely they could have tracked Ramsey Brown down? There's other daftness too, but asides from all this it's a fairly painless hour.
Dir: Allan Davis
Stars: Paul Daneman, James Villiers, Bernard Archard
CLUE OF THE SILVER KEY
1961
0
When an unpopular millionaire is murdered, there are several suspects.
Typical Edgar Wallace Mystery that's not without intrigue but is rather flatly directed. The cast is, as often in this series, pretty decent.
Dir: Gerard Glaister
Stars: Bernard Lee, Lyndon Brook, Finlay Currie, Patrick Cargill
CLUE OF THE TWISTED CANDLE
1960
*
A rich foreign businessman is in fear for his life but may be involved in murder himself.
The very first of the Edgar Wallace Mysteries (all qv), 47 hour-long [mostly unconnected] features made at Merton Park Studios in the early 1960s that generally offered competent and likeable crime dramas - they were sold to American television to form a series. This plot-packed debut rattles along with equal dashes of absurdity and ingenuity but is never less than genuine, solid B-picture mystery entertainment, evoking feelings for a disappeared Britain.
Dir: Allan Davis
Stars: Bernard Lee, David Knight, Francis de Wolff
CLUELESS
1995
**
A popular high school student takes a newcomer under her wing.
Witty comedy that may be light on the plot front but offers sharp and idiosyncratic dialogue that had a not inconsiderable effect on the speaking patterns of America; it also benefits from Silverstone at her most winsome.
Dir: Amy Heckerling
Stars: Alicia Silverstone, Brittany Murphy, Paul Rudd, Breckin Meyer
COAL MINER'S DAUGHTER
1980
***
The story of country singer Loretta Lynn's journey from poverty to international stardom.
Accomplished biopic, as well done as could be, probably the career high of the director and the stars. Just a shame country music is rubbish.
Dir: Michael Apted
Stars: Sissy Spacek, Tommy Lee Jones, Levon Helm, Beverly D'Angelo
COBAIN: MONTAGE OF HECK
2015
**
Documentary about the life of Nirvana musician Kurt Cobain, featuring previously unseen art, performances and home movies.
A music biopic that's superior to many because of the materials it can access - including footage of Cobain when he was a young boy and his various doodles and scribbles - and the fine animation sequences which are accompanied by verbal recordings the singer made; interviews with the likes of his parents and Courtney Love further illuminate it, but the sad truth is that Cobain was screwed up young by his parents' separation, and then was addicted to heroin for most of his adult life. What great songs though, and a film that's a lot better than its title.
Dir: Brett Morgen
COBRA
1986
0
A tough cop protects a woman from a murderous cult.
Terrible action thriller devoid of originality, verve or wit. And who cuts their pizza like that?
Dir: George P Cosmatos
Stars: Sylvester Stallone, Brigitte Nielsen, Reni Santoni, Andrew Robinson
COCO
2017
**
A young Mexican boy travels to the Land of the Dead on a family quest.
Pixar goes south of the border, with largely impressive results - it certainly looks glorious (the multicoloured flying creatures almost pop out of the screen) and its themes of the importance of family, remembering the dead and the power of music are sometimes quite deep for a film ostensibly aimed at children. But western viewers might not find much of its local music to like or jokes to laugh at (there is virtually nothing funny in the film), which slightly limits its appeal.
Dir: Lee Unkrich, Adrian Molina
Voices: Anthony Gonzalez, Gael Garcia Bernal, Benjamin Bratt, Alanna Ubach
COCOON
1985
**
A group of pensioners find themselves re-energised by a swimming pool which contains alien cocoons.
Warm and witty sci-fi sleeper with something to please everybody.
Dir: Ron Howard
Stars: Tahnee Welch, Don Ameche, Wilford Brimley, Hume Cronyn, Brian Dennehy, Steve Guttenberg
COCOON: THE RETURN
1989
0
Elderly folk who went into space return to Earth to visit their relatives.
Everything the first could have been but wasn’t; sentimental, tacky and plotless.
Dir: Daniel Petrie
Stars: Tahnee Welch, Don Ameche, Wilford Brimley, Hume Cronyn, Courteney Cox, Steve Guttenberg
CODA
2021
**
A 'CODA' (child of deaf adults) struggles to balance her family life with her social and educational aspirations.
This Oscar year's stab at an emotional drama involving disabled people, and a pretty fair flick, subtly powerful in its portrayal of a section of the population who definitely are excluded from full participation in everyday life. There's rather a lot of singing - presumably to highlight the contrast between the 'noisy' world and the silent world - and some sentimentality that almost goes a bit Hallmark Channel, but it's well made and acted (including by deaf actors, de rigueur for such roles in 2021) and quite touching. It's pro-family and pro-entrepreneurial messages are pleasant to see.
Dir: Sian Heder
Stars: Emilia Jones, Marlee Matlin, Troy Kotsur, Daniel Durant
COHERENCE
2013
*
While a comet passes overhead, a group of people attend a dinner party, and strange things start to happen.
Mind-bending sci-fi with intriguing ideas; somewhat intense and exhausting, but hard not to stick with. Would a second viewing deepen or lessen appreciation for it?
Dir: James Ward Byrkit
Stars: Emily Foxler, Maury Sterling, Nicholas Brendon, Lorene Scafaria
A COLD NIGHT’S DEATH
1972 (TV)
*
Two scientists suspect there is someone other than their research primates inhabiting their polar station.
The outcome isn’t in much doubt, but this is what a low budget TV movie should be like: taut, short, isolated, compelling.
Dir: Jerrold Freedman
Stars: Robert Culp, Eli Wallach, Michael C Gwynne
COLD WAR
2018
*
A couple struggle to maintain their relationship in Europe during the Cold War.
There's much to appreciate in this chilly romantic drama, most notably the cinematography and recreations of times and places that are so vivid it is almost as if they were shot by a time machine with a camera, but the characters just don't engage: for what's meant to be a film about passion there isn't much passion on show. Probably we're meant to read between the lines, but this slow, strange, music-filled movie will not connect with some.
Dir: Pawel Pawlikowski
Stars: Joanna Kulig, Tomasz Kot, Borys Szyc
THE COLDITZ STORY
1955
**
POWs plot various escapes from a German castle prison.
War drama of reliable quality which doesn't have too serious a feel, despite the occasional tragedies that occur; its sense of humour matches that of the British subjects it features, but sometimes it seems unlikely that the German officers would be so laidback. Always watchable, it's no wonder a TV series about Colditz was made in the Seventies, such was the rich seam of drama.
Dir: Guy Hamilton
Stars: John Mills, Eric Portman, Christopher Rhodes, Bryan Forbes, Richard Wattis, Ian Carmichael, Lionel Jeffries, Anton Diffring
COLLEGE DORMITORY
1984
0
A young woman with lesbian tendencies moves into a girls' school.
Tedious talent-free trash. It gets outside the dorm in the last 15 minutes - but who cares, this is garbage.
Dir: Pierre Unia
Stars: Isabelle Legrand, Raphaële Henault, Véronique Catanzaro
COLONEL MARCH INVESTIGATES
1955
*
An elderly mystery-solver works for the Department of Queer Complaints.
This might just be three episodes of a TV series sewn together but the plots are quite silly fun and Karloff is good value as a sort of bygone Jonathan Creek. Moderate, good-natured stuff.
Dir: Cy Endfield
Stars: Boris Karloff, Richard Wattis, Joan Sims, Dana Wynter
THE COLOR OF MONEY
1986
*
A former pool legend returns to the game to take on a young protégé.
Belated follow-up to The Hustler which follows a not unpredictable path; the director seems to settle for a rather conventional approach and only in the shooting of the actual pool games does the movie really come alive.
Dir: Martin Scorsese
Stars: Paul Newman, Tom Cruise, Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio, Helen Shaver
THE COLOR PURPLE
1985
**
In the early part of the 20th century, a black woman is mistreated by her abusive husband.
Spielberg's determined attempt to 'do serious' is a reasonable success despite overlength and the director's tendency to make key scenes (such as the climax) lusciously over scored; the actors convince and the script develops the characters astutely.
Dir: Steven Spielberg
Stars: Whoopi Goldberg, Danny Glover, Margaret Avery, Oprah Winfrey
THE COLOUR OF POMEGRANATES
1969
*
The life of Russian poet Sayat Nova, apparently.
Some highbrow, and generally insufferable, critics like to proclaim this a masterpiece because it’s unique and a ‘filmic poem’ – but it’s no masterpiece of the cinema because the great thing about cinema as an art form, and the reason why it is the leading art form, is that it can not only look visually beautiful but it can tell a story in an engaging manner also. Hitchcock and Kubrick were movie geniuses; Parajanov was not, and that’s why this film would bore the majority of the population to tears. Yes it’s beautiful but all the religious imagery is utter guff and it frequently comes across like a Monty Python spoof.
Dir: Sergei Parajanov
Stars: Sofiko Chiaureli, Melkon Alekyan,Vilen Galstyan
THE COLOSSUS OF NEW YORK
1958
0
After a genius is killed, his brain is put into a huge robot body, who then runs amok.
Ridiculous sci-fi which was, of course, complemented by a terrific poster that made it seem rather better than it is.
Dir: Eugene Lourie
Stars: John Baragrey, Mala Powers, Otto Kruger, Robert Hutton
COLOSSUS: THE FORBIN PROJECT
1969
**
A super-powerful computer develops a mind of its own.
Absorbing sci-fi, solidly made.
Dir: Joseph Sargent
Stars: Eric Braeden, Susan Clark, Gordon Pinsent
COMA
1978
**
A young woman doctor becomes suspicious when several patients slip into comas and are then shipped off to a special institute.
Suspense thriller which starts off glumly in a hospital but gets more exciting as it piles on ever more fanciful incident.
Dir: Michael Crichton
Stars: Genevieve Bujold, Michael Douglas, Rip Torn, Richard Widmark
COME AND SEE
1985
0
During World War 2, a 12-year-old joins the Russian resistance against the Nazis, but is horrified by what he sees.
Bleak paean on the horror of war, in which an incomprehensible first half is followed by a dispiriting second half.
Dir: Elem Klimov
Stars: Aleksei Kravchenko, Olga Mironova
COME CLEAN
1931
**
Stan and Ollie go out to buy ice cream and come back with a suicidal madwoman.
Varied short with all sorts of fun scenes crammed in, including the flinty wives, the ice cream ordering and the climactic bedroom farce. What joy this pair brought to the world, and continue to.
Dir: James W Horne
Stars: Stan Laurel, Oliver Hardy, Mae Busch, Charlie Hall
COME ON GEORGE
1939
*
A stableboy wins a major race.
Good natured comedy with the star clearly enjoying himself.
Dir: Anthony Kimmins
Stars: George Formby, Patricia Kirkwood, Joss Ambler
COME OUT AND PLAY
2012
0
A couple journey to an island where the children have killed all the adults.
Less effective remake of 1976's Who Can Kill A Child? (qv) that doesn't do much different from the original, and thereby doesn't create great art: try telling that to the elusive, hooded director, whose proclamations smack of unbearable pretentiousness. Thinly characterised and overly stretched out, it might have more appeal to those who haven't seen the earlier film.
Dir: Makinov
Stars: Ebon Moss-Bachrach, Vinessa Shaw
COME PLAY WITH ME
1977
0
A health club resort provides more than just r'n'r for its patients.
A giant in the British sex comedy universe (it played solidly for four years in London), this offers the undeniably fun prospect of all sorts of familiar faces among pretty naked bodies, although it is basically appalling; several times actors fluff their lines and there isn't the time or money for a retake.
Dir: George Harrison Marks
Stars: George Harrison Marks, Alfie Bass, Irene Handl, Ronald Fraser, Sue Longhurst, Suzy Mandel, Mary Millington, Rita Webb, Queenie Watts, Bob Todd
THE COMEBACK
1978
*
A singer is menaced by a killer who has slain the singer's ex-wife.
The director makes his settings a little less grubby than before in this decent if unremarkable thriller that twists an element or two of Psycho into a measured tale with some effective shock moments - the corpse that rots throughout provides a few. A mostly solid cast emboldens it, particularly the priceless Sheila Keith, although her role rather indicates where the main villainy will lie. There were, of course, some ace posters for it.
Dir: Pete Walker
Stars: Jack Jones, Pamela Stephenson, Sheila Keith, Bill Owen, David Doyle, Richard Johnson
THE COMEDY MAN
1964
**
An actor struggles to find parts to his satisfaction.
Honest rendition of the average thespian's life that translates into an existential examination that has the bonus of being set in London near its all-time peak. Appropriately for the theme, the cast is excellent. It's downbeat (with a partly jaunty score), but that's because life is generally pretty downbeat.
Dir: Alvin Rakoff
Stars: Kenneth More, Cecil Parker, Dennis Price, Billie Whitelaw
THE COMEDY OF TERRORS
1963
**
Struggling undertakers start killing folk to ensure they have business.
Cheap but extremely cheerful horror comedy boasting a splendid array of stars. It's also genuinely funny still, especially Jameson's glass-shattering singing and Rathbone's refusal to die (while quoting Shakespeare). A small treat.
Dir: Jacques Tourneur
Stars: Vincent Price, Peter Lorre, Boris Karloff, Basil Rathbone, Joyce Jameson, Joe E Brown
THE COMIC
1985
0
In a future police state, a stand-up comic murders a competitor for a job.
Put a broken light bulb up your bottom rather than watch this; awful acting, witless direction and dismally clichéd dialogue are some of its better points.
Dir: Richard Driscoll
Stars: Steve Munroe, Berderia Timini, Jeff Pirie
COMIC BOOK CONFIDENTIAL
1988
0
Documentary about the history of American comic books and strips.
Disappointing exploration of a potentially rich subject, this is far too narrow in scope, and a little joyless, giving creators of dubious independent comics more time than the giants DC and Marvel; there are also too many strips made into 'movies'.
Dir: Ron Mann
COMIC-CON EPISODE IV: A FAN'S HOPE
2011
**
Documentary about the San Diego Comic-Con, which has turned into a geek mecca and a place where Hollywood enthusiastically promotes its forthcoming products.
Thankfully Spurlock isn't seen or heard in this film, an enjoyable and affectionate portrait of people for whom sad is happy. It follows half a dozen different types, all of whom have intriguing stories, and interviews 'geek royalty' - the result is a sweet movie that successfully explains a vibrant sub-culture; more about the history of the event would have been nice, though (along with a better title).
Dir: Morgan Spurlock
Stars: Kevin Smith, Stan Lee, Seth Rogen, Eli Roth, Seth Green
COMING HOME
1978
**
The wife of a soldier falls for a disabled Vietnam veteran.
One of the first anti-Vietnam pictures concentrates on the human cost of the war back in America, and is no less effective for it: fine acting lifts it further still, as does the music (which borders on the excessive - the film's like a Sixties jukebox).
Dir: Hal Ashby
Stars: Jane Fonda, Jon Voight, Bruce Dern, Robert Carradine
A COMING OF ALIENS
1979
0
Three students pretend to be aliens in order to sleep with their sexy astronomy teacher.
Silly sex comedy, ineptly dubbed.
Dir: Mario Gariazzo
Stars: Maria Baxa, Monica Zanchi, Mario Maranzana
COMING TO AMERICA
1988
*
The Prince of Zamunda travels to America to look for a wife.
Effectively another ego trip for Murphy, this essentially old fashioned comedy has enough smart gags to enhance its formulaic plot.
Dir: John Landis
Stars: Eddie Murphy, Arsenio Hall, James Earl Jones
COMMANDO
1986
**
A retired commando only has a few hours to rescue his kidnapped daughter.
The star giving his fans what they crave: a non-stop action extravaganza with quotable dialogue, deadpan humour and spectacular violence. The first half is the most inventive - it becomes even more ridiculous and military-esque later on; it's Schwarzenegger at his most Eighties typical.
Dir: Mark L Lester
Stars: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Rae Dawn Chong, Dan Hedaya, Alyssa Milano
THE COMMITMENTS
1991
**
A soul singer forms a band to bring music to Dublin.
Soulful, streetwise comic drama with convincing performances etched onto a vivid background.
Dir: Alan Parker
Stars: Robert Arkins, Michael Aherne, Angeline Ball
COMMUNION
1976
*
After a girl is murdered at communion, her withdrawn sister becomes the main suspect.
Neglected but icily effective shocker.
Dir: Alfred Sole
Stars: Linda Miller, Brooke Shields, Mildred Clinton
COMMUNION
1990
0
A man believes that he may have been abducted by aliens.
Competent but uninspired adaptation of a popular book that purported to be true - in effect it is restricted by its source material.
Dir: Philippe Mora
Stars: Christopher Walken, Lindsay Crouse, Frances Sternhagen
COMMUTER HUSBANDS
1973
0
Six stories illustrating the predatory nature of the male.
Initially promising but ultimately disappointing portmanteau, let down by too many vague and pointless tales and not enough sauciness.
Dir: Derek Ford
Stars: Gabrielle Drake, Robin Bailey, Jane Cardew
COMPANION
2025
**
Friends have a weekend away but modern technology makes things go horribly wrong.
Smart thriller given a sci-fi dress-suit, and a contemporary one at that. While not all of its elements are attractive, it spins a yarn that twists and turns and surprises, sometimes in shocking fashion, sometimes in a humorous one. Its underlying ideologies are not unobvious but its confidence and verve, along with a strong lead performance, sell it well enough.
Dir: Drew Hancock
Stars: Sophie Thatcher, Jack Quaid, Lukas Gage, Megan Suri
COMPANY MAN
2000
0
A teacher becomes a CIA agent with a mission to overthrow Castro.
This comedy has a decent premise, but its silly, wacky style soon sinks it.
Dir: Peter Askin, Douglas McGrath
Stars: Douglas McGrath, Sigourney Weaver, Woody Allen, Denis Leary
THE COMPANY OF WOLVES
1984
**
A woman warns her granddaughter to look out for wolves in the woods.
Unusual fantasy, a delight to look at, with luxurious production design and striking physical special effects from the days before CGI. Narrative-wise it can't help but be somewhat choppy, with its anthology-like structure, though it's original and strange enough to make it memorable; whether you can fully connect with its characters and message is another thing.
Dir: Neil Jordan
Stars: Sarah Patterson, Angela Lansbury, David Warner, Stephen Rea
THE COMPLEAT BEATLES
1982
***
Documentary about the world's greatest pop group, from their origins to the break-up.
Exemplary non-fiction movie-making which gives as good an oversight of the band as was possible at the time, given the resources available.
Dir: Patrick Montgomery
Narrator: Malcolm McDowell. Stars: John Lennon, Paul McCartney, George Harrison, Ringo Starr
A COMPLETE HISTORY OF MY SEXUAL FAILURES
2008
**
Documentary about a man trying to discover why so many of his ex-girlfriends dumped him.
The audience is more likely to wonder how Waitt got these girlfriends in the first place and might come to more definite conclusions about him than he does himself, perhaps seeing him as a weird, lackadaisical, borderline mentally ill person with a mild oedipal complex – although not a completely dislikeable one; his soul-bearing quest is watchable enough, with a few darkly hilarious highlights, but veers into difficult-to-digest self-analysis and some overly-contrived set-ups towards the end. Still, it’s a bit different and likely to provoke debate.
Dir/Stars: Chris Waitt
A COMPLETE UNKNOWN
2024
***
Bob Dylan's life between 1961 and 1965, a period in which he took music by storm.
Many biopics receive criticism because they don't reveal the 'real' subject - this one doesn't much try to, in fact it makes a virtue of Dylan's unknowability, as denoted by its title. But it works, and a film that did the opposite would likely be an artistic failure (remember that Dylan's lyrics are impossible to understand). What the movie does is immerse you in the artist's fine music - remarkably recreated by Chalamet in an unerring performance - and the changin' period, with Dylan's enigmatic personality forefront; what we perhaps most take from it, especially in the narrative's road to his 'going electric' at the Newport Folk festival, is that he was a contrarian, or, possibly, as one character calls him, 'an asshole'. One of Hollywood's better modern-day music biopics.
Dir: James Mangold
Stars: Timothee Chalamet, Edward Norton, Elle Fanning, Monica Barbaro
COMPLIANCE
2012
***
A fast food restaurant takes a phone call from a person purporting to be a policeman investigating theft by one of its young employees.
Fascinating from start to finish, this dark thriller presents a story that many could forgivably mock as silly were it not for the fact that it's closely based on several real-life incidents; it exhibits people's propensity to take extreme orders from authority figures - the Sixties Milgram experiment made real - and melds that into well-sustained, persuasive drama that's almost Hitchcockian in its confined-space suspense-building. It's gratifying the subject matter found such an able cast and director.
Dir: Craig Zobel
Stars: Dreama Walker, Ann Dowd, Pat Healy
COMPULSION
1959
**
Two wealthy law students kill a fellow pupil for the kicks.
Often reminding one of classics of the period like 12 Angry Men, Inherit The Wind and Hitchcock's The Wrong Man (not to mention his Rope, of course), this based-on-fact drama has an appealing, clear three-act structure that culminates in the magnificent Welles' character's diatribe against capital punishment. A highly efficient production with performances to enjoy besides Welles', particularly Marshall's; it's strange it got zero Oscar recognition.
Dir: Richard Fleischer
Stars: Orson Welles, Dean Stockwell, Bradford Dillman, EG Marshall
COMPUTER CHESS
2013
**
Strange happenings occur at a tournament between computer chess programmers in the late Seventies.
There isn't another film like this one - it's supremely odd from beginning to end, especially at the end, when it becomes something very different to before. Supremely eccentric, it offers gentle humour for the appreciative and a lesson that a black and white 'video-shot' film about geeks doesn't have to be unwatchable.
Dir: Andrew Bujalski
Stars: Kriss Schludermann, Tom Fletcher, Wiley Wiggins
CONAN THE BARBARIAN
1981
0
A boy grows up to be a warrior intent on taking revenge on those who killed his parents.
Sluggish, unappealing fantasy which helped give birth to an abject new genre: sword and sorcery.
Dir: John Milius
Stars: Arnold Schwarzenegger, James Earl Jones, Max von Sydow, Sandahl Bergman, Mako
CONAN THE DESTROYER
1984
0
Conan journeys on a search to find a magic crystal before the sorcerer Toth Amon can use it.
Briefer, sillier and better paced than its predecessor, but still not worth going across town for - its gusto doesn't save it from looking dated.
Dir: Richard Fleischer
Stars: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Grace Jones, Mako, Sarah Douglas, Olivia d’Abo, Pat Roach
CONAN THE BARBARIAN
2011
0
Conan seeks to avenge the death of his father.
There wasn't much demand for it, but Conan returned to the big screen for the first time since the 80s, and the results are indifferent. The plot is generic, it looks murky, the action is heavily over-stylised (few shots are more than a second long), the characters do not make you care about them - Conan, for instance, is just an unstoppable killing machine with good pecs. Thankfully there was no sequel called 'Conan The Destroyer'...
Dir: Marcus Nispel
Stars: Jason Momoa, Stephen Lang, Rachel Nichols, Rose McGowan
CONCLAVE
2024
**
After the pope dies, several contenders jostle to be the new one.
Worthy religious-political drama which takes the liberal side and delivers a wrap-up that many will think risible or 'over-fashionable'; before that we get talk - a lot of talk - strong acting, and supreme photography of the immaculately fashioned costumes and settings. They had an eye on the Oscars when making this, but many do, and don't get near. The film subtly makes the point that all that goes on in this Catholic process is to do with humans, not delivered from above.
Dir: Edward Berger
Stars: Ralph Fiennes, Stanley Tucci, John Lithgow, Lucian Msamati, Isabella Rossellini
THE CONCORDE ... AIRPORT '79
1979
0
A supersonic flight is beset by all sorts of disasters.
In real life, even bad flights and holidays are memorable and engender some affection, which is what this wonderfully wild and woolly final instalment in the Airport series does; with a crazed plot, pricelessly bad dialogue and lame-o special effects it almost gives the following year's Airplane! a run for its money laughs wise. Favourite bits might include: the guy with the deaf daughter who looks like a cross between Oliver Hardy and one of Harry Enfield's Scousers; the couple who carry out their own marriage ceremony; the saxophonist who likes to get high; the flare dropped in the cockpit; the way no one minds getting on the second flight. Watch on an aeroplane for max pleasure.
Dir: David Lowell Rich
Stars: George Kennedy, Alain Delon, Susan Blakely, Robert Wagner, Sylvia Kristel, David Hemmings
CONCRETE ANGELS
1987
0
In 1964, a group of youths form a group to try and win a competition which has as the prize the chance to support the Beatles in concert.
Because the director knows nothing about cinema, this insipid, lifeless and cheerless musical drama has these faults: amateurish performances, charmless characters and a non-script that fills it redundant scenes with long pauses, pointless profanity and dodgy covers, mainly of Beatles songs (including Misery, I Saw Her Standing There, She Loves You, A Hard Day’s Night, PS I Love You, Love Me Do and From Me To You). Dismally incompetent, it even shows footage, on television, of the Fabs in 1965 rather than ’64.
Dir: Carlo Liconti
Stars: Joseph Dimambro, Luke McKeehan, Omie Craden
CONDOR
1984 (TV)
0
In futuristic Los Angeles, a crime-fighting organisation known as Condor goes up against a female master criminal.
Shiny but weightless TV sci-fi.
Dir: Virgil W Vogel
Stars: Ray Wise, Wendy Kilbourne
CONDORMAN
1981
*
A cartoonist turns into the hero he draws.
Mildly amusing spy spoof.
Dir: Charles Jarrott
Stars: Michael Crawford, Oliver Reed, Barbara Carrera
CONE OF SILENCE
1960
*
Is a plane crashing down to pilot error or something else?
Poorly titled yarn that's a rare thing, a very technical thriller, so much so that its jargon occasionally raises laughs because it is so earnest - but it's endearing because it's so Fifties, so male and so British, not to mention quite original. The actors give it their all.
Dir: Charles Frend
Stars: Bernard Lee, Michael Craig, Peter Cushing, George Sanders
THE CONFESSIONAL
1995
*
While Alfred Hitchcock is in Quebec filming I Confess, a 16-year-old becomes pregnant by a local priest.
Unusual and ambitious mystery, dull in parts but deftly handled overall.
Dir: Robert Lepage
Stars: Lothaire Bluteau, Patrick Goyette, Kristin Scott Thomas
CONFESSIONS FROM THE DAVID GALAXY AFFAIR
1979
0
A superstud finds himself in trouble with the police.
Essentially a vehicle for the not especially charming Alan Lake, this almost plotless tat is an inert and boring enterprise with little appeal to anyone: for a start, the dirty mac brigade will bemoan the paucity of sexiness. The sort of film that helped kill its genre stone-dead.
Dir: Willy Roe
Stars: Alan Lake, Glynn Edwards, Anthony Booth, Diana Dors, Milton Reid, Bernie Winters, Kenny Lynch, Mary Millington, Rosemary England, Queenie Watts
CONFESSIONS OF A DANGEROUS MIND
2002
0
A game show host claims to also be a CIA hit man.
A light-hearted approach would have worked better here, not to mention a clearer narrative and fewer longeurs.
Dir: George Clooney
Stars: Dick Clark, Sam Rockwell, Drew Barrymore, Maggie Gyllenhall
CONFESSIONS OF A SEX MANIAC
1974
0
An architect who has to design a building gets inspiration from women's breasts.
One-joke sex comedy that played under three titles in a short space of time (the others were Design For Lust and The Man Who Couldn't Get Enough). It’s remarkable it played at all, as it’s a hopelessly inane excuse for a film, as cheap as anything, full of grotty, languorous scenes that do nothing but waste the life of those making it and watching it. Both the sex bits (with the wooden, awkward Lloyd-Pack) and location bits (there are some interesting shots of contemporary Soho) are, oddly, underscored by mournful music.
Dir: Alan Birkinshaw
Stars: Roger Lloyd-Pack, Vicki Hodge, Derek Royle, Ava Cadell, Monica Ringwood
CONFESSIONS OF AN OPIUM EATER
1962
0
In the early nineteenth century, an adventurer rescues girls from traders in San Francisco's Chinatown.
Incredibly strange odyssey with the usual charismatic turn from Price but little else to hold the interest unless you're a fan of cult bad movies.
Dir: Albert Zugsmith
Stars: Vincent Price, Linda Ho, Richard Loo
CONFETTI
2006
0
A magazine runs a wedding competition.
This mock doc should be viewed only by those who like seeing actors completely humiliate themselves, or alternatively enjoy watching unbelievably flat and desperate movies; it’s so underwritten it feels like you’re watching a real television documentary, and there are about as many laughs. A rival to Love Actually for the worst modern British film.
Dir: Debbie Isitt
Stars: Martin Freeman, Jessica Hynes, Stephen Mangan, Meredith MacNeill, Robert Webb, Olivia Colman, Jimmy Carr
A CONNECTICUT YANKEE IN KING ARTHUR’S COURT
1948
*
A mechanic from 1912 finds himself in Arthurian Britain.
A musical version of Mark Twain's story, quite a merry little enterprise.
Dir: Tay Garnett
Stars: Bing Crosby, Rhonda Fleming, Cedric Hardwicke
CONQUEST
1982
0
Two warriors journey through a mystical land where an evil witch resides.
Cloudy sword and sorcery second-rater in which the constant action is more of a hindrance than a help.
Dir: Lucio Fulci
Stars: Jorge Rivero, Andrea Occhipinti, Conrado San Martin
THE CONFESSIONAL
1995
*
While Alfred Hitchcock is in Quebec filming I Confess, a 16-year-old becomes pregnant by a local priest.
Unusual and ambitious mystery, dull in parts but deftly handled overall.
Dir: Robert Lepage
Stars: Lothaire Bluteau, Patrick Goyette, Kristin Scott Thomas
CONFESSIONS FROM A HOLIDAY CAMP
1977
0
Timmy and his brother-in-law ply their trade at a holiday village.
Last and worst of the Confessions film, a badly written and performed sex farce shot underneath grey skies in the British winter for £22,000. There's no visual invention or much invention of any kind. Confessions Of A Plumber's Mate was planned, but this dud ended the series - which, despite our criticism, was a bit of a shame, because at least it tried to bring a little joy.
Dir: Norman Cohen
Stars: Robin Askwith, Anthony Booth, Bill Maynard, Doris Hare, Linda Hayden, Lance Percival, John Junkin, Liz Fraser
CONFESSIONS FROM THE DAVID GALAXY AFFAIR
1979
0
A superstud finds himself in trouble with the police.
Essentially a vehicle for the not especially charming Alan Lake, this almost plotless tat is an inert and boring enterprise with little appeal to anyone: for a start, the dirty mac brigade will bemoan the paucity of sexiness. The sort of film that helped kill its genre stone-dead.
Dir: Willy Roe
Stars: Alan Lake, Glynn Edwards, Anthony Booth, Diana Dors, Milton Reid, Bernie Winters, Kenny Lynch, Mary Millington, Rosemary England, Queenie Watts
CONFESSIONS OF A DANGEROUS MIND
2002
0
A game show host claims to also be a CIA hit man.
A light-hearted approach would have worked better here, not to mention a clearer narrative and fewer longeurs.
Dir: George Clooney
Stars: Dick Clark, Sam Rockwell, Drew Barrymore, Maggie Gyllenhall
CONFESSIONS OF A DRIVING INSTRUCTOR
1976
0
Timmy Lea discovers that assisting young ladies with their driving is a good way of getting them into bed.
Third in the Confessions series offers more of the same, and it has to be said that the comic set-pieces, which strain for originality, are largely inane and many don't make sense in themselves - the double entendres are similarly broad; however, you can't help but giggle at some of it. One also feels a degree of the sympathy for the performers (who are all game), as the weather does look pretty chilly. 'Shall we try the 69?' says Bellingham, just before she reaches for a wine bottle.
Dir: Norman Cohen
Stars: Robin Askwith, Anthony Booth, Lynda Bellingham, Windsor Davies, George Layton, Liz Fraser, Bill Maynard, Doris Hare, Sheila White, Irene Handl, Suzy Mandel
CONFESSIONS OF A POP PERFORMER
1975
0
Accident-prone Timmy Lea becomes a drummer in a rookie pop band.
The follow-up to Window Cleaner is a small step down in quality, if only because the mayhem that Askwith causes is too ridiculous for words (the scenes in the record shop and the office with the dark room are particularly stupid) - he's like an even more retarded Norman Wisdom, albeit one who gets the girls - and what gorgeous girls they are. Many of the double entendres are lame and the plot doesn't flow as naturally as its predecessor's, but everyone tries hard to pep it up (no wonder - it's a talented cast) and its disposition is generally sunny. Funny that a driving instructor pops up right at the end...
Dir: Norman Cohen
Stars: Robin Askwith, Anthony Booth, Bob Todd, Jill Gascoine, Bill Maynard, Doris Hare, Sheila White, Carol Hawkins
CONFESSIONS OF A SEX MANIAC
1974
0
An architect who has to design a building gets inspiration from women's breasts.
One-joke sex comedy that played under three titles in a short space of time (the others were Design For Lust and The Man Who Couldn't Get Enough). It’s remarkable it played at all, as it’s a hopelessly inane excuse for a film, as cheap as anything, full of grotty, languorous scenes that do nothing but waste the life of those making it and watching it. Both the sex bits (with the wooden, awkward Lloyd-Pack) and location bits (there are some interesting shots of contemporary Soho) are, oddly, underscored by mournful music.
Dir: Alan Birkinshaw
Stars: Roger Lloyd-Pack, Vicki Hodge, Derek Royle, Ava Cadell, Monica Ringwood
CONFESSIONS OF A WINDOW CLEANER
1974
*
The exploits of a randy window cleaner.
The king of the Seventies British sex comedy, this was the top movie in the UK that year, and created a template that many followed: sexier-than-Carry On antics and separate scenes with respected actors. Viewed now, it's taken on new kinds of qualities because its attitudes are a million miles away from puritanical, tedious, angsty modern-day Britain - it's essentially a male wish-fulfilment fantasy - and, in its own way, speaks up for the family unit while being a warm and light-hearted film, and an easily accessible one at that. Some scenes are just so nutty and dotty you can't help but giggle, and yet the overarching story - of a lad's wish to get himself a girl - is quite traditional and nice. Askwith was certainly perfect for the role, the 'birds' are all stunningly attractive and the settings evoke keen nostalgia, at least for some of us. Many, many other movies followed with 'confessions' in the title, including three sequels.
Dir: Val Guest
Stars: Robin Askwith, Anthony Booth, Sheila White, Dandy Nichols, Linda Hayden, Bill Maynard, John Le Mesurier, Joan Hickson, Richard Wattis, Sue Longhurst
CONFESSIONS OF AN OPIUM EATER
1962
0
In the early nineteenth century, an adventurer rescues girls from traders in San Francisco's Chinatown.
Incredibly strange odyssey with the usual charismatic turn from Price but little else to hold the interest unless you're a fan of cult bad movies.
Dir: Albert Zugsmith
Stars: Vincent Price, Linda Ho, Richard Loo
CONFETTI
2006
0
A magazine runs a wedding competition.
This mock doc should be viewed only by those who like seeing actors completely humiliate themselves, or alternatively enjoy watching unbelievably flat and desperate movies; it’s so underwritten it feels like you’re watching a real television documentary, and there are about as many laughs. A rival to Love Actually for the worst modern British film.
Dir: Debbie Isitt
Stars: Martin Freeman, Jessica Hynes, Stephen Mangan, Meredith MacNeill, Robert Webb, Olivia Colman, Jimmy Carr
A CONNECTICUT YANKEE IN KING ARTHUR’S COURT
1948
*
A mechanic from 1912 finds himself in Arthurian Britain.
A musical version of Mark Twain's story, quite a merry little enterprise.
Dir: Tay Garnett
Stars: Bing Crosby, Rhonda Fleming, Cedric Hardwicke
CONQUEST
1982
0
Two warriors journey through a mystical land where an evil witch resides.
Cloudy sword and sorcery second-rater in which the constant action is more of a hindrance than a help.
Dir: Lucio Fulci
Stars: Jorge Rivero, Andrea Occhipinti, Conrado San Martin
THE CONQUEST OF EVEREST
1953
**
Documentary about the first time the peak of Everest was reached, by Edmund Hillary and Tenzing Norgay.
This film brings home what a remarkable achievement this was (incredibly, more than 4,000 people since have emulated the feat), and what a remarkable achievement it was to shoot such footage: contemporary audiences must have felt like the world was rushing to great new heights before their very eyes. The colour print is gorgeous, the narration is apposite and the vicarious experience well worth having.
Dir: George Lowe
Narrator: Meredith Edwards
CONQUEST OF SPACE
1955
0
Astronauts on a space station are told they have a new mission: to go to Mars.
George Pal produced some fine sci-fi epics but this isn't one of them: an unsympathetic bunch of slightly odd characters go on a voyage that lacks excitement or believable drama, and the special effects are variable.
Dir: Bryon Haskin
Stars: Walter Brooke, Eric Fleming, Mickey Shaughnessy
CONQUEST OF THE EARTH
1980 (TV)
0
Pursued by Cylons, the friendly aliens from Battlestar Galactica (qv) finally reach Earth.
The first three episodes of Galactica 80 were strung together to make this diabolical, never-ending feature, even worse than its predecessor.
Dir: Barry Crane, Sidney Hayers, Sigmund Neufeld Jr
Stars: Kent McCord, Barry Van Dyke, James Patrick Stuart
CONQUEST OF THE PLANET OF THE APES
1972
*
Domesticated apes rebel against their human keepers.
Ape movie number four is gritty and angry, putting you on the side of the simians as they turn the tables on mean men. The low budget isn't really a handicap because visually it's quite impactful, with scenes of lots of boiled-suited apes swarming over what were the stark ultramodern surroundings of LA's Century City and the University of California, while the very 1970s-style soundtrack plays out. It could have been even more bleak and violent than it was, and perhaps should have been. Possibly McDowall's best Apes performance.
Dir: J Lee Thompson
Stars: Roddy McDowall, Don Murray, Natalie Trundy, Ricardo Montalban
CONTACT
1997
*
A scientist finds proof of extraterrestrial intelligence
Thoughtful, patchy, overlong sci-fi about both the universe and the individual minds within it, it strives for epic-ness while not quite reaching it, although there are inspired ideas and scenes - no wonder, since it came from the pen of Carl Sagan. It's perhaps a tad kinder to the religious than might have been expected.
Dir: Robert Zemeckis
Stars: Jodie Foster, Matthew McConaughey, Tom Skerritt, John Hurt
CONTAGION
1987 (V)
*
A man is lured to a run-down mansion where he thinks he has discovered paradise.
Intriguing horror that could have made more of its central premise.
Dir: Karl Zwicky
Stars: John Doyle, Nicola Bartlett, Ray Barrett
CONTAGION
2011
***
A viral outbreak brings the world to a standstill.
This film gained many, many more viewers and much greater importance in 2020, due to the global coronavirus outbreak - and viewing it during one of the lockdowns made one appreciate it more, certainly upping its star rating. This is because it's so carefully made and so unerringly close to what happened during the Covid-19 outbreak: we watch in grim fascination a bowl of nuts on a bar, people touching surfaces on public transport, or someone coughing and then washing tumblers, and we deeply empathise with those who have their lives and relationships wrecked because of it. It's sinisterly hypnotic, and may become the movie of coronavirus, even though it was released nine years before it.
Dir: Steven Soderbergh
Stars: Matt Damon, Kate Winslet, Jude Law, Gwyneth Paltrow, Laurence Fishburne
CONTAMINATION
1980
0
Alien pods brought back from Mars cause those who come into contact with them to blow up.
Low budget horror that starts with a bit of cheesy promise, as several members of the cast explode, but loses its pace and sense in the second half and culminates with a turn from a pretty bad monster, The Cyclops. Considered obscene by the DPP in the 1980s, it was eventually released uncut on DVD in 2004 – with a 15 rating.
Dir: Luigi Cozzi
Stars: Ian McCulloch, Louise Marleau, Marino Mase, Siegfried Rauch
CONTEMPT
1963
*
A film director has problems with his wife and his movie.
As usual, Godard elevates boredom to an art form, and the result is deadly and pretentious rot set to an inappropriate score; only the attractiveness of Bardot and the photography redeem it. Critics who give this film maximum marks clearly live in their own indulgent, arty world sealed off from reality.
Dir: Jean-Luc Godard
Stars: Brigitte Bardot, Michel Piccoli, Jack Palance, Fritz Lang
CONTRABAND
1980
*
A cigarette smuggler gets caught up with vicious cocaine smugglers.
Fulci's Godfather-inspired crime drama is a little shakey and confusing but is enlivened by bursts of strong violence and gore - clearly what he enjoyed most. It's actually better than a lot of his horror films.
Dir: Lucio Fulci
Stars: Fabio Testi, Ivana Monti, Guido Alberti
CONTROL
2007
***
The brief life of Ian Curtis, the lead singer of Joy Division, who committed suicide at 23 due to his epilepsy and loss of ‘control’ in his life.
Meticulously made biopic that reaps the benefits of getting the small details right – the fashions, the cars, the telephones, the televisions, the sound of the music – and consequently isn’t as glum as it might have been. Without the framing structure of the famous band’s career the central tale might not have been riveting, and Curtis is not especially likeable... but the performances and the photography certainly can’t be faulted.
Dir: Anton Corbijn
Stars: Sam Riley, Samantha Morton, Alexandra Maria Lara, Joe Anderson
THE CONVERSATION
1974
**
A surveillance expert spirals into trouble after hearing a couple discuss a murder.
An aural Blow Up (qv) set in the environment of paranoid post-Watergate politics, rewarding for the patient. While it's very intelligently made, with excellent use of sound throughout, its determination not to be structured like a Hitchcockian suspenser means it doesn't become the stirring thriller it might have been.
Dir: Francis Ford Coppola
Stars: Gene Hackman, John Cazale, Frederic Forrest, Teri Garr, Harrison Ford
CONVICT 99
1938
**
A disgraced school master, Benjamin Twist, is mistaken for a prison governor and assigned to a particularly tough prison.
Enjoyable comedy; Hay's films have survived well thanks to their mad logic and bizarre incidents.
Dir: Marcel Varnel
Stars: Will Hay, Moore Marriott, Graham Moffat, Googie Withers, Basil Radford
CONVICT 13
1920
*
Buster dreams that he is a prisoner battling a tough inmate.
Ah the prison, where many a silent comedian would end up - here it provides a mix of predictable and less predictable gags; it has its moments while not being among the star's best shorts. Keaton was possibly more sympathetic than Chaplin, not as sympathetic as Lloyd.
Dir: Edward F Cline, Buster Keaton
Stars: Buster Keaton, Sybil Seely, Joe Roberts
CONVOI DE FILLES
1979
0
A Nazi officer defies the Third Reich to save his childhood sweetheart.
Whether watched drunk or sober, this Nazisploitation movie is incoherent and difficult to follow, in part because it seems to be bits from other films, in part because of general incompetence. Sleaze hounds will also be disappointed that there isn't much sleaze.
Dir: Pierre Chevalier
Stars: Brigitte Parmentier, Jean-Marie Lemaire, Henri Lambert
THE COOK
1918
0
Cooks play up at a seaside resort.
Scrappy comic short with inspired moments (the throwing stuff around in the kitchen) and a formless whole in which random stuff happens. Once believed lost, it was later found.
Dir: Roscoe 'Fatty' Arbuckle
Stars: Roscoe 'Fatty' Arbuckle, Buster Keaton, Al St John
THE COOK, THE THIEF, HIS WIFE AND HER LOVER
1989
***
The wife of a bombastic gangster has an affair with a man who eats at the same restaurant as they do.
Defiantly original drama, its thin plot is secondary to the extravagant visual look, accomplished performances (Gambon in particular) and verbal musings on sex and food. Perhaps its director's most successful interpretation of his visions.
Dir: Peter Greenaway
Stars: Michael Gambon, Helen Mirren, Tim Roth, Liz Smith, Gary Olsen
COOL HAND LUKE
1967
***
A prisoner in a rural jail rebels against his captors.
Beguiling chain gang drama, a stylish combination of action, humour and thoughtfulness.
Dir: Stuart Rosenberg
Stars: Paul Newman, George Kennedy, J D Cannon, Dennis Hopper
COOL IT, CAROL!
1970
*
A boy and a girl from the countryside come to London where they get involved in the sex business.
Easily the director's best film to date on release, this is a well made study of young, carefree people going to the big city where they grow up fast - it doesn't sugar coat the pill but the downbeat mood is often lifted by dark humour, and there's a relatively happy ending. Everyone performs well, the cinematography skillfully catches an autumnal London of the time, and the viewer wants to find out what will happen to these bright young things (in real life, the gorgeous Lynn disappeared from movies and Askwith did the opposite).
Dir: Pete Walker
Stars: Robin Askwith, Janet Lynn, Jess Conrad, Derek Aylward
THE COOL WORLD
1963
0
Life in a Harlem ghetto.
Another overpraised slice of 'real' life, and often a misinterpreted one too - for anyone to watch this and believe that the characters are like this because of outside influences, as opposed to them largely stewing in their own juice, may be deluded. It's not the most gripping of filmic experiences, unless you were perhaps doing a study of black America of the time. For a drinking game to get you drunk, take a sip every time someone uses the word 'man'.
Dir: Shirley Clarke
Stars: Rony Clanton, Carl Lee, Yolanda Rodriguez
THE COOLER
2003
**
A man whose bad luck appears to be contagious is employed by a casino to ensure customers do not win too much money.
Curious but diverting mix of Scorsese, mysticism and romantic comedy, assisted by convincing performances, but its appeal may depend on whether you accept the central premise - that bad luck is a tangible force that can be passed to those nearby.
Dir: Wayne Kramer
Stars: William H Macy, Alec Baldwin, Maria Bello, Paul Sorvino
COPS
1922
**
Buster manages to get chased by the entire police department.
Despite a small sag in the middle, this Keaton short has much that shows him at his agile best, notably the way he tries to evade the clutches of the law. He was one of the very best of his day.
Dir: Edward F Cline, Buster Keaton
Stars: Buster Keaton, Edward F Cline, Virginia Fox
CORIOLANUS
2011
**
A victorious Roman general cannot but help alienate his people.
Successfully updated to the modern day, this is a powerful adaptation of one of Shakespeare's most undervalued tragedies; Fiennes puts all into it, in front of and behind the camera, wisely making it a little leaner and managing to have his Caius Martius as a reasonably sympathetic character. It only slightly loses its grip in the closing stages, as the anger dissipates.
Dir: Ralph Fiennes
Stars: Ralph Fiennes, Vanessa Redgrave, Gerard Butler, Brian Cox, Jessica Chastain, James Nesbitt
CORIOLANUS - HERO WITHOUT A COUNTRY
1964
0
Coriolanus helps the Romans’ enemies, the Volscians, when he feels his own people are not grateful enough.
Low budget bastardisation of Shakespeare which retains very little of the original’s dialogue and unforgivably and laughably changes the ending.
Dir: Giorgio Ferroni
Stars: Gordon Scott, Alberto Lupo
CORMAN'S WORLD: EXPLOITS OF A HOLLYWOOD REBEL
2011
**
Documentary about maverick low-budget filmmaker Roger Corman.
A decent enough film with a more starry cast than Corman ever managed - their enthusiasm for him is real but you do wonder whether the man's achievements warrant such accolades: a lot of his movies were pretty dreadful. It manages to spring a surprise or two, though, including footage of his obscure 1962 film The Intruder, and that he distributed pictures by the likes of Bergman and Fellini in the Seventies.
Dir: Alex Stapleton
Stars: Roger Corman, Jack Nicholson, Martin Scorsese, Ron Howard, Joe Dante, Robert De Niro
THE CORPSE VANISHES
1942
0
A mad scientist kills young brides so he can inject their gland fluid into his elderly wife.
More Monogram madness which at least moves quickly and doesn’t last long.
Dir: Wallace Fox
Stars: Bela Lugosi, Luana Walters, Tristram Coffin
CORRIDOR OF MIRRORS
1948
0
A gentleman falls in love with a woman who bears a strong resemblance to one born hundreds of years before.
Unsuccessful attempt at an arty psychological drama, crippled by a pretentiously obscurantist narrative and an inadequate leading lady. A very strange film.
Dir: Terence Young
Stars: Eric Portman, Edana Romney, Barbara Mullen, Hugh Sinclair, Christopher Lee
CORRIDORS OF BLOOD
1958
*
A doctor develops an opium-based anaesthetic to which he becomes addicted.
Handsome semi-horror which could have done with a few more sparks.
Dir: Robert Day
Stars: Boris Karloff, Betta St John, Finlay Currie, Adrienne Corri
CORRUPTION
1968
*
To restore his girlfriend's beauty, a surgeon murders other women to extract fluids from their pituitary gland.
Horror films were beginning to change around this time, getting nastier and kinkier: this is a good example of that trend, with more gore and flesh, especially in the foreign version, and the 'home invasion' stuff near the end anticipates the dark sleaze of the Seventies. By that point the picture has become exceedingly loopy and pleasingly deranged, and amid the lurid mid-to-late Sixties decor and fashions, Peter Cushing, as always, is a model of decorum and professionalism - his presence in dozens of British horrors elevated them, indubitably.
Dir: Robert Hartford-Davis
Stars: Peter Cushing, Sue Lloyd, Noel Trevarthen, Kate O’Mara, David Lodge, Anthony Booth
THE COSMIC MAN
1958
0
A strange being lands in a flying saucer in a Californian canyon.
Tiny budget sci-fi with one talk scene after another.
Dir: Herbert S Greene
Stars: John Carradine, Brice Bennett, Angela Greene
THE COTTAGE
2008
*
Brothers kidnap the daughter of a crime boss and hold her to ransom, but it goes horribly wrong.
A film of two halves: the first is a reasonably engaging hopeless-crims-in-trouble comedy, the second a run-of-the-mill, psycho monster-on-the loose horror. So its downfall is that it shows promise and then goes nowhere, merely being content to inflict as much pain as possible on its cast (which soon gets tiresome), while sending out very mixed genre signals.
Dir: Paul Andrew Williams
Stars: Andy Serkis, Reece Shearsmith, Jennifer Ellison, Steven O’Donnell
COUNT DRACULA
1970
0
Jonathan Harker travels to Transylvania and gets more than he bargained for.
Franco's 'authentic' version is, predictably, rather poor, with the director displaying his unique ability to drain the drama and tension and suspense from classic source material; his 'anti-cinema' aptitude is very much on show, and there aren't even any compensations in the way of sexiness. It's quite interesting to see Lee play a different sort of Dracula but he disappears from the film later on and never even meets Lom - and Kinski says not a word. The scene with the stuffed animals is a corker.
Dir: Jess Franco
Stars: Christopher Lee, Herbert Lom, Klaus Kinski, Maria Rohm, Soledad Miranda, Fred Williams
COUNT DRACULA
1977 (TV)
0
A vampiric Count comes to England for fresh female blood.
Plodding version of Bram Stoker that follows the original too closely and now looks dated because of its unquestioning acceptance of belief and Seventies small-screen technical limitations.
Dir: Philip Saville
Stars: Louis Jourdan, Frank Finlay, Bosco Hogan, Susan Penhaligon, Judi Bowker, Jack Shepherd
COUNTDOWN
1967
0
Americans attempt to get to the moon before the Russians do.
Defiantly serious sci-fi with little action, suspense or humour - Destination Moon was a lot more fun.
Dir: Robert Altman
Stars: James Caan, Robert Duvall, Michael Murphy
COUNTESS DRACULA
1970
*
In medieval Europe, a countess bathes in the blood of virgins to restore her beauty.
Hammer's take on the legend of Countess Bathory - the film is nothing to do with vampires - is a little drawn-out but largely enjoyable, as a dubbed Pitt and a strong backing cast act out a lurid story in regal costumes and on sets borrowed from the big-budget Anne Of The Thousand Days. You'd struggle to make a bad film given the ingredients, but with a director like Sasdy the end result is never going to be quite as dynamic as you might hope.
Dir: Peter Sasdy
Stars: Ingrid Pitt, Nigel Green, Sandor Eles, Maurice Denham, Lesley-Anne Down
COUNTESS PERVERSE
1974
*
A sinister couple live on an island where they hunt down human prey.
Franco's sexy take on The Most Dangerous Game boasts great locations - with a most curious house - and his usual cluster of beautiful naked females (during the final hunt both hunter and quarry are nude!). But this being Franco, the script is bitty and the lack of different camera set-ups lessen its power; still, the world should be glad this crazy director existed.
Dir: Jess Franco
Stars: Alice Arno, Lina Romay, Howard Vernon, Robert Woods
THE COUNTRY GIRL
1954
*
A former star with a thing for the booze is hired to front a new play.
Talky, theatrical drama that falls between two stools: Crosby's presence means it doesn't work as a hard-hitter about alcoholism, and it's surely too cold and stern to be liked by his traditional fans; plus, while Kelly won an Oscar she's miscast (but that didn't stop Mika using her dialogue from this film in his fantastic song named after her). Probably not a favourite among feminists either.
Dir: George Seaton
Stars: Bing Crosby, Grace Kelly, William Holden
A COUPLE OF BEAUTIES
1971
0
A comedian has to dress as a woman to escape some criminals.
Curious short that seems to have been made to showcase Manchester drag act Bunny Lewis - his routines take up about half the film's 30-minute running time. Tolerable enough, with a sliver of a plot that resembles the following year's Dick Emery vehicle Ooh... You Are Awful, it's another picture we can thank Talking Pictures TV channel for resurrecting.
Dir: Francis Searle
Stars: Bunny Lewis, Tim Barrett, James Beck, Pat Coombs
COURS DU SOIR
1967
*
Jacques Tati instructs a group of men on how to play tennis, ride and trip up.
Offbeat short which keeps the star from going too wayward.
Dir: Nicolas Ribowski
Stars: Jacques Tati
COVER GIRL KILLER
1959
0
A man who disapproves of a girly magazine kills models that appear on its cover.
Daft B-picture that devotes too much time to (incompetent) police investigations rather than Corbett’s bottle-top-glasses loon; of some minor interest to British sleaze fans but a minimum of exterior shots keeps the authenticity down.
Dir: Terry Bishop
Stars: Harry H Corbett, Felicity Young, Spencer Teakle, Victor Brooks
CRACK IN THE WORLD
1965
0
A scientist plans a dangerous experiment to tap the Earth's thermonuclear energy.
Verbose sci-fi with a climax that fails to surprise.
Dir: Andrew Marton
Stars: Dana Andrews, Janette Scott, Kieron Moore
CRANK: HIGH VOLTAGE
2009
**
Chev Chelios survives his fall but finds his heart is stolen and replaced by a device that constantly needs powering.
Even more insane sequel that’s brimming with invention and off-the-wall ideas, apparently too many for some less open-minded viewers; a technically excellent and often hilarious assault on the senses. Its menu of madness includes: a porn stars’ strike, a gang member cutting his nipples off, a Geri Halliwell cameo, sex on a racecourse and a decapitated head kept alive in a tank of fluid.
Dir: Mark Neveldine, Brian Taylor
Stars: Jason Statham, Amy Smart, Dwight Yoakam, Bai Ling, David Carradine
CRASH
1996
**
A scientist comes to crave sex in motor cars to rejuvenate his love life.
Absurdly the subject of a ban in several parts of Britain, this absorbing adaptation of Ballard’s novel keeps its other-wordly, blackly comic tone (while changing the setting from London to LA) and stands apart from its cinematic contemporaries as something completely different.
Dir: David Cronenberg
Stars: James Spader, Holly Hunter, Deborah Kara Unger, Rosanna Arquette
CRASH
2004
***
Racial tensions in Los Angeles.
Engaging, provocative drama which bravely shows what a mess the multiracial West is in. Brilliantly made, it impressed the Oscar committee despite its overload of characters and coincidences and final lapse into sentimentality.
Dir: Paul Haggis
Stars: Matt Dillon, Don Cheadle, Sandra Bullock, Thandie Newton, Ryan Phillippe
THE CRATER LAKE MONSTER
1977
0
A meteor unearths a dinosaur underneath a lake.
Ramshackle baloney with the production falling apart at the seams.
Dir: William R Stromberg
Stars: Richard Cardella, Glen Roberts
CRAWLSPACE
1986
0
A man runs an apartment house for women fitted out with secret passageways and torture devices.
An exercise in confined horror that fails because of its basic silliness and shallow characterisation.
Dir: David Schmoeller
Stars: Klaus Kinski, Talia Balsam, Barbara Whinnery
CRAZE
1973
*
An insane antiques shop owner offers up sacrifices to an African god.
Curious British schlocker which has a way over the top Palance heading a fine cast and a plot that may or may not be supernatural - whichever, after some good initial horror it turns into a plodding, shallow film that largely resembles a police-procedural. Not unlikeable but pretty flat considering the talent involved and the promise of the story.
Dir: Freddie Francis
Stars: Jack Palance, Diana Dors, Julie Ege, Hugh Griffith, Trevor Howard, Suzy Kendall, Martin Potter, Edith Evans, Michael Jayston, David Warbeck
THE CRAZIES
1973
0
A virus that can cause insanity spreads throughout a Pennsylvania town.
Early Romero feature, very raw and already quite dated.
Dir: George A Romero
Stars: Lane Carroll, Will MacMillan, Will Disney
CORIOLANUS
2011
**
A victorious Roman general cannot but help alienate his people.
Successfully updated to the modern day, this is a powerful adaptation of one of Shakespeare's most undervalued tragedies; Fiennes puts all into it, in front of and behind the camera, wisely making it a little leaner and managing to have his Caius Martius as a reasonably sympathetic character. It only slightly loses its grip in the closing stages, as the anger dissipates.
Dir: Ralph Fiennes
Stars: Ralph Fiennes, Vanessa Redgrave, Gerard Butler, Brian Cox, Jessica Chastain, James Nesbitt
CORIOLANUS - HERO WITHOUT A COUNTRY
1964
0
Coriolanus helps the Romans’ enemies, the Volscians, when he feels his own people are not grateful enough.
Low budget bastardisation of Shakespeare which retains very little of the original’s dialogue and unforgivably and laughably changes the ending.
Dir: Giorgio Ferroni
Stars: Gordon Scott, Alberto Lupo
CORMAN'S WORLD: EXPLOITS OF A HOLLYWOOD REBEL
2011
**
Documentary about maverick low-budget filmmaker Roger Corman.
A decent enough film with a more starry cast than Corman ever managed - their enthusiasm for him is real but you do wonder whether the man's achievements warrant such accolades: a lot of his movies were pretty dreadful. It manages to spring a surprise or two, though, including footage of his obscure 1962 film The Intruder, and that he distributed pictures by the likes of Bergman and Fellini in the Seventies.
Dir: Alex Stapleton
Stars: Roger Corman, Jack Nicholson, Martin Scorsese, Ron Howard, Joe Dante, Robert De Niro
THE CORPSE
1970
***
A mother and daughter plan to murder their patriarch, who rules over them with a rod of iron.
Quite a fascinating obscurity worth tracking down, it drips with grim atmosphere and has a better than average script; there certainly aren't many other films that have quite the same feel as this one. Gough gives one of his best, most quietly terrifying performances as the harsh, sinister father, and the others are all excellent too. The ending can be taken in various ways: that the preceding events were the wife's fantasy, or perhaps that some evil is so strong it can't be destroyed? Bleakness ebbs out of Mitchell's features.
Dir: Viktors Ritelis
Stars: Michael Gough, Yvonne Mitchell, Sharon Gurney, Simon Gough, Olaf Pooley
THE CORPSE VANISHES
1942
0
A mad scientist kills young brides so he can inject their gland fluid into his elderly wife.
More Monogram madness which at least moves quickly and doesn’t last long.
Dir: Wallace Fox
Stars: Bela Lugosi, Luana Walters, Tristram Coffin
CORRIDOR OF MIRRORS
1948
0
A gentleman falls in love with a woman who bears a strong resemblance to one born hundreds of years before.
Unsuccessful attempt at an arty psychological drama, crippled by a pretentiously obscurantist narrative and an inadequate leading lady. A very strange film.
Dir: Terence Young
Stars: Eric Portman, Edana Romney, Barbara Mullen, Hugh Sinclair, Christopher Lee
CORRIDORS OF BLOOD
1958
*
A doctor develops an opium-based anaesthetic to which he becomes addicted.
Handsome semi-horror which could have done with a few more sparks.
Dir: Robert Day
Stars: Boris Karloff, Betta St John, Finlay Currie, Adrienne Corri
CORRUPTION
1968
*
To restore his girlfriend's beauty, a surgeon murders other women to extract fluids from their pituitary gland.
Horror films were beginning to change around this time, getting nastier and kinkier: this is a good example of that trend, with more gore and flesh, especially in the foreign version, and the 'home invasion' stuff near the end anticipates the dark sleaze of the Seventies. By that point the picture has become exceedingly loopy and pleasingly deranged, and amid the lurid mid-to-late Sixties decor and fashions, Peter Cushing, as always, is a model of decorum and professionalism - his presence in dozens of British horrors elevated them, indubitably.
Dir: Robert Hartford-Davis
Stars: Peter Cushing, Sue Lloyd, Noel Trevarthen, Kate O’Mara, David Lodge, Anthony Booth
THE COSMIC MAN
1958
0
A strange being lands in a flying saucer in a Californian canyon.
Tiny budget sci-fi with one talk scene after another.
Dir: Herbert S Greene
Stars: John Carradine, Brice Bennett, Angela Greene
THE COTTAGE
2008
*
Brothers kidnap the daughter of a crime boss and hold her to ransom, but it goes horribly wrong.
A film of two halves: the first is a reasonably engaging hopeless-crims-in-trouble comedy, the second a run-of-the-mill, psycho monster-on-the loose horror. So its downfall is that it shows promise and then goes nowhere, merely being content to inflict as much pain as possible on its cast (which soon gets tiresome), while sending out very mixed genre signals.
Dir: Paul Andrew Williams
Stars: Andy Serkis, Reece Shearsmith, Jennifer Ellison, Steven O’Donnell
COUNT DRACULA
1970
0
Jonathan Harker travels to Transylvania and gets more than he bargained for.
Franco's 'authentic' version is, predictably, rather poor, with the director displaying his unique ability to drain the drama and tension and suspense from classic source material; his 'anti-cinema' aptitude is very much on show, and there aren't even any compensations in the way of sexiness. It's quite interesting to see Lee play a different sort of Dracula but he disappears from the film later on and never even meets Lom - and Kinski says not a word. The scene with the stuffed animals is a corker.
Dir: Jess Franco
Stars: Christopher Lee, Herbert Lom, Klaus Kinski, Maria Rohm, Soledad Miranda, Fred Williams
COUNT DRACULA
1977 (TV)
0
A vampiric Count comes to England for fresh female blood.
Plodding version of Bram Stoker that follows the original too closely and now looks dated because of its unquestioning acceptance of belief and Seventies small-screen technical limitations.
Dir: Philip Saville
Stars: Louis Jourdan, Frank Finlay, Bosco Hogan, Susan Penhaligon, Judi Bowker, Jack Shepherd
COUNT YORGA, VAMPIRE
1970
*
Blood-thirsty Bulgarian Count Yorga preys on women in modern-day America.
Low budget horror which mostly manages to belie its cost, conjuring up some well-pitched horror amid the chat; some sources say it originally had more sauciness, which might have been a boon, and the onscreen title The Loves Of Count Iorga, Vampire lends credence to that. It did quite well and The Return Of Count Yorga was the sequel (qv).
Dir: Bob Kelljan
Stars: Robert Quarry, Roger Perry, Michael Murphy, Donna Anders
COUNTDOWN
1967
0
Americans attempt to get to the moon before the Russians do.
Defiantly serious sci-fi with little action, suspense or humour - Destination Moon was a lot more fun.
Dir: Robert Altman
Stars: James Caan, Robert Duvall, Michael Murphy
COUNTESS DRACULA
1970
*
In medieval Europe, a countess bathes in the blood of virgins to restore her beauty.
Hammer's take on the legend of Countess Bathory - the film is nothing to do with vampires - is a little drawn-out but largely enjoyable, as a dubbed Pitt and a strong backing cast act out a lurid story in regal costumes and on sets borrowed from the big-budget Anne Of The Thousand Days. You'd struggle to make a bad film given the ingredients, but with a director like Sasdy the end result is never going to be quite as dynamic as you might hope.
Dir: Peter Sasdy
Stars: Ingrid Pitt, Nigel Green, Sandor Eles, Maurice Denham, Lesley-Anne Down
COUNTESS PERVERSE
1974
*
A sinister couple live on an island where they hunt down human prey.
Franco's sexy take on The Most Dangerous Game boasts great locations - with a most curious house - and his usual cluster of beautiful naked females (during the final hunt both hunter and quarry are nude!). But this being Franco, the script is bitty and the lack of different camera set-ups lessen its power; still, the world should be glad this crazy director existed.
Dir: Jess Franco
Stars: Alice Arno, Lina Romay, Howard Vernon, Robert Woods
THE COUNTRY GIRL
1954
*
A former star with a thing for the booze is hired to front a new play.
Talky, theatrical drama that falls between two stools: Crosby's presence means it doesn't work as a hard-hitter about alcoholism, and it's surely too cold and stern to be liked by his traditional fans; plus, while Kelly won an Oscar she's miscast (but that didn't stop Mika using her dialogue from this film in his fantastic song named after her). Probably not a favourite among feminists either.
Dir: George Seaton
Stars: Bing Crosby, Grace Kelly, William Holden
COUNTY HOSPITAL
1932
**
Stan tries to cheer up a convalescing Ollie by visiting him in hospital with hard boiled eggs and nuts.
Mainly delightful short with, besides Stan's dining, wonderful comic exchanges and physical calamities in the hospital followed by a frenetic, and very fake-looking, spin in the car (they don't even try to make it realistic). Gilbert is a joy and it goes without saying that Stan and Ollie are too, as always.
Dir: James Parrott
Stars: Stan Laurel, Oliver Hardy, Billy Gilbert
COUP DE CHANCE
2023
**
A beautiful young married woman falls for an old acquaintance, with serious consequences.
With his 50th film (52 if you count TV movie Don't Drink The Water and New York Stories, which he was a third responsible for), Woody Allen still manages to create something unlike anything else he's made before (he's like the Beatles on their last recorded album Abbey Road, where every track was different from any they'd done previously); yes, it shares a bit of DNA with the likes of Match Point and Crimes And Misdemeanors, but it still feels novel, not least because it is entirely in French, with French actors - this helps a lot, and it has a much fresher feel than any of his previous three or four movies. While not a comedy as some critics curiously claimed (or if it is, it's very dark), it is rather a succinct, tight little drama that looks glowing and is rarely predictable; it's a huge shame it had limited release outside mainland Europe.
Dir: Woody Allen
Stars: Lou de Laage, Valerie Lemercier, Melvil Poupad, Niels Schneider
A COUPLE OF BEAUTIES
1971
0
A comedian has to dress as a woman to escape some criminals.
Curious short that seems to have been made to showcase Manchester drag act Bunny Lewis - his routines take up about half the film's 30-minute running time. Tolerable enough, with a sliver of a plot that resembles the following year's Dick Emery vehicle Ooh... You Are Awful, it's another picture we can thank Talking Pictures TV channel for resurrecting.
Dir: Francis Searle
Stars: Bunny Lewis, Tim Barrett, James Beck, Pat Coombs
COURS DU SOIR
1967
*
Jacques Tati instructs a group of men on how to play tennis, ride and trip up.
Offbeat short which keeps the star from going too wayward.
Dir: Nicolas Ribowski
Stars: Jacques Tati
COVER GIRL KILLER
1959
0
A man who disapproves of a girly magazine kills models that appear on its cover.
Daft B-picture that devotes too much time to (incompetent) police investigations rather than Corbett’s bottle-top-glasses loon; of some minor interest to British sleaze fans but a minimum of exterior shots keeps the authenticity down.
Dir: Terry Bishop
Stars: Harry H Corbett, Felicity Young, Spencer Teakle, Victor Brooks
CRACK IN THE WORLD
1965
0
A scientist plans a dangerous experiment to tap the Earth's thermonuclear energy.
Verbose sci-fi with a climax that fails to surprise.
Dir: Andrew Marton
Stars: Dana Andrews, Janette Scott, Kieron Moore
CRANK
2006
*
A vengeful hitman has to maintain his adrenaline or he will drop dead.
Knowingly absurd high-concept thriller that gains points for its devil-may-care attitude, quirkiness and darkly comic action but loses some for its incessant nasty overtones; it’s hard to warm to because it's so relentlessly obnoxious in terms of its language, attitude and jerky visuals. It certainly doesn't make you want to move to LA.
Dir: Mark Neveldine, Brian Taylor
Stars: Jason Statham, Amy Smart, Jose Pablo Cantillo
CRANK: HIGH VOLTAGE
2009
**
Chev Chelios survives his fall but finds his heart is stolen and replaced by a device that constantly needs powering.
Even more insane sequel that’s brimming with invention and off-the-wall ideas, apparently too many for some less open-minded viewers; a technically excellent and often hilarious assault on the senses. Its menu of madness includes: a porn stars’ strike, a gang member cutting his nipples off, a Geri Halliwell cameo, sex on a racecourse and a decapitated head kept alive in a tank of fluid.
Dir: Mark Neveldine, Brian Taylor
Stars: Jason Statham, Amy Smart, Dwight Yoakam, Bai Ling, David Carradine
CRASH
1996
**
A scientist comes to crave sex in motor cars to rejuvenate his love life.
Absurdly the subject of a ban in several parts of Britain, this absorbing adaptation of Ballard’s novel keeps its other-wordly, blackly comic tone (while changing the setting from London to LA) and stands apart from its cinematic contemporaries as something completely different.
Dir: David Cronenberg
Stars: James Spader, Holly Hunter, Deborah Kara Unger, Rosanna Arquette
CRASH
2004
***
Racial tensions in Los Angeles.
Engaging, provocative drama which bravely shows what a mess the multiracial West is in. Brilliantly made, it impressed the Oscar committee despite its overload of characters and coincidences and final lapse into sentimentality.
Dir: Paul Haggis
Stars: Matt Dillon, Don Cheadle, Sandra Bullock, Thandie Newton, Ryan Phillippe
THE CRATER LAKE MONSTER
1977
0
A meteor unearths a dinosaur underneath a lake.
Ramshackle baloney with the production falling apart at the seams.
Dir: William R Stromberg
Stars: Richard Cardella, Glen Roberts
CRAWLSPACE
1986
0
A man runs an apartment house for women fitted out with secret passageways and torture devices.
An exercise in confined horror that fails because of its basic silliness and shallow characterisation.
Dir: David Schmoeller
Stars: Klaus Kinski, Talia Balsam, Barbara Whinnery
CRAZE
1973
*
An insane antiques shop owner offers up sacrifices to an African god.
Curious British schlocker which has a way over the top Palance heading a fine cast and a plot that may or may not be supernatural - whichever, after some good initial horror it turns into a plodding, shallow film that largely resembles a police-procedural. Not unlikeable but pretty flat considering the talent involved and the promise of the story.
Dir: Freddie Francis
Stars: Jack Palance, Diana Dors, Julie Ege, Hugh Griffith, Trevor Howard, Suzy Kendall, Martin Potter, Edith Evans, Michael Jayston, David Warbeck
THE CRAZIES
1973
0
A virus that can cause insanity spreads throughout a Pennsylvania town.
Early Romero feature, very raw and already quite dated.
Dir: George A Romero
Stars: Lane Carroll, Will MacMillan, Will Disney
CRAZY HOUSE
1943
0
Olsen and Johnson attempt to make another film.
Terrible follow-up to Hellzapoppin (qv), which soon descends into several variety acts doing their uninteresting thing. The lead pair are unable to rescue it with their routines - maybe the earlier film was just a happy accident. Rathbone/Bruce Holmes fans would be advised to watch their 15-second cameo and leave it at that.
Dir: Edward F Cline
Stars: Ole Olsen, Chic Johnson, Cass Dalet, Patric Knowles
THE CRAZY WORLD OF LAUREL AND HARDY
1966
**
Bits and pieces from Laurel and Hardy’s peak years, including excerpts from Perfect Day, Hog Wild, Helpmates, The Music Box and Sons Of The Desert.
Haphazard compilation which speeds through the material; luckily it's robust enough to survive with many laughs intact.
Narrator: Garry Moore. Stars: Stan Laurel, Oliver Hardy
THE CRAZY WORLD OF LAUREL AND HARDY
1966
**
Bits and pieces from Laurel and Hardy’s peak years, including excerpts from Perfect Day, Hog Wild, Helpmates, The Music Box and Sons Of The Desert.
Haphazard compilation which speeds through the material; luckily it's robust enough to survive with many laughs intact.
Narrator: Garry Moore. Stars: Stan Laurel, Oliver Hardy
THE CREATION OF THE HUMANOIDS
1962
0
After World War III, robots assist humans by giving them android bodies.
There are many kernels of interesting ideas here but the presentation is as inert and cheap as an off-off-Broadway stage production - endless scenes of people standing there talking finally end with a bloke talking, and it couldn't be less dramatic. It's a shame, because visually the film has a garish appeal.
Dir: Wesley Barry
Stars: Don Megowan, Erica Elliott, Frances McCann
CREATURE DESIGNERS - THE FRANKENSTEIN COMPLEX
2015
**
Documentary that hears from the men who design monsters for the movies.
Of particular interest to those who wish to get into the industry, this is a mostly engrossing film about people who are passionate about their art. They can certainly talk a lot, and it would have been welcome to have a few more breaks in the form of footage from the movies discussed (rights issues probably prevented it). Still, there is some rare behind the scenes footage and it provides a digestible potted history of the evolution of make-up and special effects, from Lon Chaney’s Phantom Of The Opera to the CGI-heavy epics of today.
Dir: Gilles Penso, Alexandre Poncet
Stars: Rick Baker, Joe Dante, Guillermo del Torro, John Landis, Kevin Smith
CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON
1954
*
Scientists going up the Amazon encounter an aggressive man-like fish creature.
Basic monster movie with the expected thrills that gained plaudits for creating a new ‘classic’ creature for the Universal canon.
Dir: Jack Arnold
Stars: Richard Carlson, Julie Adams, Ricou Browning
CREATURE FROM THE HAUNTED SEA
1961
0
A crook tries to blame the deaths of his ship crew on a monster - but it really exists.
It starts with a broody five-minute pre-credits sequence, then there are the credits, which feature goofy, juvenile animation that tells you this is not what the poster suggested; there then follows a confusing, over-populated and talky story with some really weird humour, such as the crewman who makes animal noises. The creature is hardly in it, and it's a loopy looking thing at any rate, and after more uninteresting rambling it ends after an hour and a quarter, mercifully.
Dir: Roger Corman
Stars: Antony Carbone, Betsy Jones-Moreland, Robert Towne
THE CREATURE WALKS AMONG US
1956
0
The Creature (from the Black Lagoon) is captured by a rich mad scientist.
Shallow third in the not especially imaginative series. It largely involves boffins standing around rabbiting and is almost perennially unexciting, although the underwater sequences and the monster's get-up are of a reasonable technical standard.
Dir: John Sherwood
Stars: Jeff Morrow, Rex Reason, Leigh Snowden, Gregg Palmer
CREATURE WITH THE ATOM BRAIN
1955
0
A gangster builds up an army of atomic-powered zombies.
Fine for a slow Sunday afternoon, this is mostly directed in a pedestrian fashion but there are flashes of better things, such as the zombies lurching towards the camera, threatening assault. Preposterous tosh that has its fans.
Dir: Edward L Cahn
Stars: Richard Denning, Angela Stevens, S John Launer
CREATURES THE WORLD FORGOT
1970
0
Prehistoric people engage in battles for survival.
The third and last of Hammer's prehistoric odysseys is the worst: because there's no proper dialogue it makes the film extremely difficult to get into (you keep thinking 'When's it going to start?', and then later, 'Oh, when will it finish?'). It tries to be honourable but this wasn't the right approach, and the violence becomes wearisome.
Dir: Don Chaffey
Stars: Julie Ege, Tony Bonner, Robin John, Brian O’Shaughnessy
CREDO
2008
0
Five students stay in a deserted building that may be haunted.
Another micro budget British horror, and as tedious and confined as the rest – one bemoans the technological advances that make it possible for so much of this stuff to be made.
Dir: Toni Harman
Stars: Myanna Buring, Clayton Watson, Rhea Bailey
CREEP
2004
0
A woman gets lost in the London Underground after hours where she meets a ghastly monster.
Death Line (qv) all over again, now with all sorts of extra modern unpleasantness, this begins in chilling fashion then becomes one long chase, interrupted by a particularly horrific 'medical' scene.
Dir: Christopher Smith
Stars: Franka Potente, Ken Campbell, Sean Harris
CREEPERS
1985
0
A girl who can communicate with insects helps solve a string of murders.
Incoherent and tacky shocker.
Dir: Dario Argento
Stars: Jennifer Connelly, Daria Nicolodi, Donald Pleasence
THE CREEPING FLESH
1972
*
A Victorian scientist bring the remains of a strange humanoid back to London from abroad, but it comes back to life when exposed to water.
Disjointed horror, almost like three separate stories, all very silly but generally tolerable, and the monster is worth waiting for.
Dir: Freddie Francis
Stars: Christopher Lee, Peter Cushing, Duncan Lamont, Michael Ripper, Lorna Heilbron
CREEPSHOW
1982
0
Five tales of terror: Father's Day, The Lonesome Death Of Jordy Verrill, Something To Tide You Over, The Crate and They're Creeping Up On You.
This well-known anthology is actually a pretty poor film: the script is slack and lazy and Romero clearly isn’t adept at directing light-hearted horror; his tricks with the comic book format and garish lighting merely come across as self-conscious and arch. All the stories go on for much too long and there’s probably one too many anyway – Jordy Verrill could easily have been excised. Tide is the one that works best, and Creeping is suitably icky, but the others are loose and lame and boring.
Dir: George A Romero
Stars: Leslie Nielsen, EG Marshall, Ed Harris, Ted Danson, Stephen King, Hal Holbrook, Adrienne Barbeau
CREEPSHOW 2
1987
0
Three horror stories: Old Woodenhead, The Raft and The Hitch-hiker.
The first two segments are badly paced, acted and directed, and the animation between the sections is embarrassing, but the third tale is fairly scary and effective. Okay for late-night viewings.
Dir: Michael Gornick
Stars: Tom Savini, Dorothy Lamour, David Holbrook, Don Harvey
CREEPSHOW III
2006 (V)
0
Five light-hearted horror tales: Alice, The Radio, Call Girl, The Professor's Wife and Haunted Dog.
Making its predecessors look like classics, this straight-to-video effort scrapes the bottom of the barrel with its 'humorous' stories performed by people acting like idiots while accompanied by incessant bad music. Some of the stories barely make sense, and crossing characters over between them only adds to the confusion.
Dir: Ana Clavell, James Glenn Dudelson
Stars: Stephanie Pettee, Roy Abramsohn, AJ Bowen
CREEPTALES
1989 (V)
0
Six horror stories made between 1986 and 1989, given a loose wraparound thingy. The stories are: Warped, Snatcher, The Closet, Groovy Ghoulie Garage, Howling Nightmare, Sucker.
Two minutes into this you know you should really stop watching, so dumb, dark and amateurish it is, but if you persevere the tales you get are, in order: unremarkable, apart from the obese cop; inane and short - but still too long; very short, very pointless; semi-passable; a waste of time; better than the rest but still pretty bad (and senseless). Just walk away.
Dir: Various
Stars: Jess Sherman, Michael Minton, Jennifer Barlow
CRESCENDO
1969
*
A female student goes to stay at a flat in France and gets entwined in the lives of its eccentric residents.
Hammer had done several thrillers like this in the previous decade, and most were better than this: Gibson always was a workmanlike director and he fails to bring much suspense or terror to its small-scale tale, although there are a few dark edges that elevate it slightly. A slack pace and some bad haircuts are among its missteps.
Dir: Alan Gibson
Stars: Stefanie Powers, James Olson, Margaretta Scott, Joss Ackland
LE CRI DU DESIR
1977
0
A nurse marries a wealthy industrialist.
Absolute drivel with no redeeming features whatsoever.
Dir: Alain Nauroy
Stars: Michele Perello, Richard Darbois, Andre Chazel
CRIES AND WHISPERS
1972
*
A woman dying of cancer is tended by her maid and two sisters.
Bergman at his most bleak and obscure; striking performances but extremely tough viewing.
Dir: Ingmar Bergman
Stars: Harriet Andersson, Kari Sylwan, Ingrid Thulin, Liv Ullman
CRIME AND PUNISHMENT
1935
**
A young man kills a cruel money lender and is weighed down by guilt.
Pretty good Dostoevsky adaptation, necessarily simplified; the relationship between Raskolnikov and Sonya isn't too convincing, but the duelling between him and Porfiry meaty enough, and his interactions with his family quite amusing. It's pleasantly surprising that Hollywood attempted to film this in the Thirties, and backed it up with technical nous.
Dir: Josef von Sternberg
Stars: Peter Lorre, Edward Arnold, Marian MarshCRIME AND PUNISHMENT
1983
*
In present-day Helsinki, a slaughterhouse worker murders a man and has to live with the consequences of his actions.
Finnish updating of Dostoevsky with a few fresh ideas.
Dir: Aki Kaurismaki
Stars: Markku Toikka, Aino Seppo, Esko Nikkari
CRIMES AT THE DARK HOUSE
1940
**
An impostor murders nobility and marries the woman he is promised to.
Slaughter is more wonderfully juicy than ever, dominating the screen, in this adaptation of The Woman In White that takes all sorts of crazy turns. Surprisingly fresh after all these years, it's pacey and packed, and benefits from the whole cast throwing themselves into the lunacy with enthusiasm.
Dir: George King
Stars: Tod Slaughter, Sylvia Marriott, Hilary Eaves
CRIMES OF PASSION
1984
*
A fanatical preacher tries to 'save the soul' of a prostitute who leads a double life.
Wide-eyed melodrama in this director's usual over-heated fashion.
Dir: Ken Russell
Stars: Kathleen Turner, Anthony Perkins, Bruce Davison
THE CRIMES OF STEPHEN HAWKE
1936
*
A money lender by day is a spine-cracking killer by night.
One of Tod Slaughter's most fun mad melodramas, with the film coming most to life when the lively old ham himself is on screen. The plot has some ripe twists and turns, and, bizarrely, the start of the picture is set in a radio studio in contemporary London.
Dir: George King
Stars: Tod Slaughter, Marjorie Taylor, DJ Williams, Eric Portman
CRIMEWAVE
1985
*
A man is almost wrongly executed for killing two murderers.
Zany comedy with a visual style and freshness that other directors would do well to match.
Dir: Sam Raimi
Stars: Louise Lasser, Paul L Smith, Bruce Campbell
THE CRIMINAL
2000
0
A musician is plunged into the shadowy world of espionage.
Flashy, confident thriller whose many plot holes eventually tear it apart.
Dir: Julian Simpson
Stars: Steven Mackintosh, Eddie Izzard, Natasha Little, Bernard Hill
CRIMSON TIDE
1995
**
On a US submarine, a captain and his first officer clash over whether to fire at the enemy, as it might start World War 3.
A real bloke's film, a tense drama with action, but essentially about different approaches to life and different ways of looking at perceived threats. Well acted, well shot, almost convincing - one of its director's better movies.
Dir: Tony Scott
Stars: Denzel Washington, Gene Hackman, Matt Craven, Viggo Mortensen
CRITTERS
1986
*
Several small and hungry furry creatures land on a small mid-western town.
Gremlins from outer space; imagination isn't its strong point but it bobbles along tolerably enough.
Dir: Stephen Herek
Stars: Dee Wallace-Stone, M Emmet Walsh, Billy Zane, Don Opper
CRITTERS 2
1989
0
A batch of unhatched critter eggs are mistaken for Easter eggs.
Incompetent sequel to a movie that didn't deserve one, this is just trashy popcorn fodder with just a few choice moments.
Dir: Mick Garris
Stars: Terrence Mann, Don Opper, Scott Grimes
CROCODILE DUNDEE
1986
**
An innocent Australian comes to America where he wins everyone over.
It seemed fresh at the time, and this droll comedy smash was liked by just about everyone who saw it.
Dir: Peter Faiman
Stars: Paul Hogan, Linda Kozlowski, John Meillon, David Gulpilil
CROMWELL
1971
**
Oliver Cromwell rebels against the reign of King Charles I.
Solid historical biopic with a charismatic lead and impressive battle scenes.
Dir: Ken Hughes
Stars: Richard Harris, Alec Guinness, Robert Morley, Frank Finlay, Timothy Dalton, Patrick Wymark, Patrick Magee, Nigel Stock, Charles Gray
CRONOS
1992
**
An aging antique dealer finds an ancient scarab which turns people into vampires.
Deliberately paced, imaginative horror, one of the best to ever come out of Mexico.
Dir: Guillermo del Toro
Stars: Federico Luppi, Ron Perlman, Claudio Brook
CROOKS ANONYMOUS
1962
*
A pathological thief subjects himself to an intensive course designed to quell his criminal tendencies.
Pleasant, simple comedy with a nice cast.
Dir: Ken Annakin
Stars: Leslie Phillips, Stanley Baxter, Wilfrid Hyde-White, Julie Christie, James Robertson Justice, Michael Medwin
CROOKS IN CLOISTERS
1964
0
A group of minor league train robbers head to a remote island and disguise themselves as monks.
Terribly ordinary comedy which considers its premise to be enough to justify very little of real interest happening. One of the many things it needs is a bit of cheek.
Dir: Jeremy Summers
Stars: Ronald Fraser, Barbara Windsor, Bernard Cribbins, Melvyn Hayes, Wilfrid Brambell
CROSS OF IRON
1977
*
In 1943, a German battalion is on the verge of collapse as the Russians attack.
A touch perverse perhaps that Peckinpah, a director who glorified violence, should make an anti-war film, but it of course has qualities, including impressively pyrotechnic battle scenes (as ever, it's in the edit) which, nevertheless, can be tricky to fully decipher. It's quite a depressing, enervating movie, and why should we care about a bunch of desperate Nazis, who don't even seem particularly German thanks to many of them being played by British and American actors? Coburn is especially miscast.
Dir: Sam Peckinpah
Stars: James Coburn, Maximilian Schell, James Mason, David Warner, Senta Berger
CROSSFIRE
1947
**
Police quiz soldiers about the murder of a Jew.
Relentlessly talkative crime drama which may have been overpraised because it was one of the first Hollywood films to tackle the subject of anti-semitism, although viewed now its treatment of the subject seems pretty soft soap. Stylish noir-type shooting and professional performances lift it.
Dir: Edward Dmytryk
Stars: Robert Young, Robert Mitchum, Robert Ryan, Gloria Grahame
CROSS-ROADS
1955
*
A theatre impresario receives a mysterious visitor.
Basic but quite likeable and sometimes moody short elevated by Lee, who's easily the most memorable presence here.
Dir: John Fitchen
Stars: Christopher Lee, Ferdy Mayne, Mercy Haystead
CROSSROADS
1986
0
A young guitarist asks a legendary blues musician to help him be famous.
Semi-supernatural road movie, bearable until its risible climax. Those with a liking for blues music may get something out of it.
Dir: Walter Hill
Stars: Ralph Macchio, Joe Seneca, Jami Gertz
1983
*
In present-day Helsinki, a slaughterhouse worker murders a man and has to live with the consequences of his actions.
Finnish updating of Dostoevsky with a few fresh ideas.
Dir: Aki Kaurismaki
Stars: Markku Toikka, Aino Seppo, Esko Nikkari
CRIMES AND MISDEMEANORS
1989
****
A doctor resorts to desperate measures to cover up his adultery, while a frustrated filmmaker takes a job just for the money.
Allen himself wrote of this movie: 'I think it's one of my better films. I think it's one of the more successful ones, because I felt it had some substance to chew on and it portrayed the philosophical and intellectual interest that I had in this subject matter in a reasonably entertaining way.' It's an understatement. This is one of his crowning achievements - he never made something so great after it - because it adroitly blends a serious and a funny storyline (with flashes back in time) that both are full of deeper meaning, the chief one being: is there morality in a godless universe? The characters have depth, the performances are wonderful, the editing is faultless, individual scenes are brilliant - so another question might be: who needs Hollywood?
Dir: Woody Allen
Stars: Woody Allen, Martin Landau, Mia Farrow, Alan Alda, Anjelica Huston, Sam Waterston, Jerry Orbach, Claire Bloom
CRIMES AT THE DARK HOUSE
1940
**
An impostor murders nobility and marries the woman he is promised to.
Slaughter is more wonderfully juicy than ever, dominating the screen, in this adaptation of The Woman In White that takes all sorts of crazy turns. Surprisingly fresh after all these years, it's pacey and packed, and benefits from the whole cast throwing themselves into the lunacy with enthusiasm.
Dir: George King
Stars: Tod Slaughter, Sylvia Marriott, Hilary Eaves
CRIMES OF PASSION
1984
*
A fanatical preacher tries to 'save the soul' of a prostitute who leads a double life.
Wide-eyed melodrama in this director's usual over-heated fashion.
Dir: Ken Russell
Stars: Kathleen Turner, Anthony Perkins, Bruce Davison
THE CRIMES OF STEPHEN HAWKE
1936
*
A money lender by day is a spine-cracking killer by night.
One of Tod Slaughter's most fun mad melodramas, with the film coming most to life when the lively old ham himself is on screen. The plot has some ripe twists and turns, and, bizarrely, the start of the picture is set in a radio studio in contemporary London.
Dir: George King
Stars: Tod Slaughter, Marjorie Taylor, DJ Williams, Eric Portman
CRIMEWAVE
1985
*
A man is almost wrongly executed for killing two murderers.
Zany comedy with a visual style and freshness that other directors would do well to match.
Dir: Sam Raimi
Stars: Louise Lasser, Paul L Smith, Bruce Campbell
THE CRIMINAL
2000
0
A musician is plunged into the shadowy world of espionage.
Flashy, confident thriller whose many plot holes eventually tear it apart.
Dir: Julian Simpson
Stars: Steven Mackintosh, Eddie Izzard, Natasha Little, Bernard Hill
CRIMSON TIDE
1995
**
On a US submarine, a captain and his first officer clash over whether to fire at the enemy, as it might start World War 3.
A real bloke's film, a tense drama with action, but essentially about different approaches to life and different ways of looking at perceived threats. Well acted, well shot, almost convincing - one of its director's better movies.
Dir: Tony Scott
Stars: Denzel Washington, Gene Hackman, Matt Craven, Viggo Mortensen
CRITTERS
1986
*
Several small and hungry furry creatures land on a small mid-western town.
Gremlins from outer space; imagination isn't its strong point but it bobbles along tolerably enough.
Dir: Stephen Herek
Stars: Dee Wallace-Stone, M Emmet Walsh, Billy Zane, Don Opper
CRITTERS 2
1989
0
A batch of unhatched critter eggs are mistaken for Easter eggs.
Incompetent sequel to a movie that didn't deserve one, this is just trashy popcorn fodder with just a few choice moments.
Dir: Mick Garris
Stars: Terrence Mann, Don Opper, Scott Grimes
CROCODILE DUNDEE
1986
**
An innocent Australian comes to America where he wins everyone over.
It seemed fresh at the time, and this droll comedy smash was liked by just about everyone who saw it.
Dir: Peter Faiman
Stars: Paul Hogan, Linda Kozlowski, John Meillon, David Gulpilil
CROMWELL
1971
**
Oliver Cromwell rebels against the reign of King Charles I.
Solid historical biopic with a charismatic lead and impressive battle scenes.
Dir: Ken Hughes
Stars: Richard Harris, Alec Guinness, Robert Morley, Frank Finlay, Timothy Dalton, Patrick Wymark, Patrick Magee, Nigel Stock, Charles Gray
CRONOS
1992
**
An aging antique dealer finds an ancient scarab which turns people into vampires.
Deliberately paced, imaginative horror, one of the best to ever come out of Mexico.
Dir: Guillermo del Toro
Stars: Federico Luppi, Ron Perlman, Claudio Brook
CROOKS ANONYMOUS
1962
*
A pathological thief subjects himself to an intensive course designed to quell his criminal tendencies.
Pleasant, simple comedy with a nice cast.
Dir: Ken Annakin
Stars: Leslie Phillips, Stanley Baxter, Wilfrid Hyde-White, Julie Christie, James Robertson Justice, Michael Medwin
CROOKS IN CLOISTERS
1964
0
A group of minor league train robbers head to a remote island and disguise themselves as monks.
Terribly ordinary comedy which considers its premise to be enough to justify very little of real interest happening. One of the many things it needs is a bit of cheek.
Dir: Jeremy Summers
Stars: Ronald Fraser, Barbara Windsor, Bernard Cribbins, Melvyn Hayes, Wilfrid Brambell
CROSS OF IRON
1977
*
In 1943, a German battalion is on the verge of collapse as the Russians attack.
A touch perverse perhaps that Peckinpah, a director who glorified violence, should make an anti-war film, but it of course has qualities, including impressively pyrotechnic battle scenes (as ever, it's in the edit) which, nevertheless, can be tricky to fully decipher. It's quite a depressing, enervating movie, and why should we care about a bunch of desperate Nazis, who don't even seem particularly German thanks to many of them being played by British and American actors? Coburn is especially miscast.
Dir: Sam Peckinpah
Stars: James Coburn, Maximilian Schell, James Mason, David Warner, Senta Berger
CROSSFIRE
1947
**
Police quiz soldiers about the murder of a Jew.
Relentlessly talkative crime drama which may have been overpraised because it was one of the first Hollywood films to tackle the subject of anti-semitism, although viewed now its treatment of the subject seems pretty soft soap. Stylish noir-type shooting and professional performances lift it.
Dir: Edward Dmytryk
Stars: Robert Young, Robert Mitchum, Robert Ryan, Gloria Grahame
CROSS-ROADS
1955
*
A theatre impresario receives a mysterious visitor.
Basic but quite likeable and sometimes moody short elevated by Lee, who's easily the most memorable presence here.
Dir: John Fitchen
Stars: Christopher Lee, Ferdy Mayne, Mercy Haystead
CROSSROADS
1986
0
A young guitarist asks a legendary blues musician to help him be famous.
Semi-supernatural road movie, bearable until its risible climax. Those with a liking for blues music may get something out of it.
Dir: Walter Hill
Stars: Ralph Macchio, Joe Seneca, Jami Gertz
CROSSROADS TO CRIME
1960
0
A policeman goes after criminals who nearly killed him when he clung to their car.
Routine crime pic only notable for being directed by puppet master Anderson (he didn't like it much) and retroactively being added to the Edgar Wallace Presents series.
Dir: Gerry Anderson
Stars: Anthony Oliver, Ferdy Mayne, David Graham
CROSSTALK
1982
0
A man confined to his apartment detects a murder thanks to his computer.
Hi-tech thriller with a nod to Rear Window; the fact that the technology's now dated is detrimental to it.
Dir: Mark Egerton
Stars: Gary Day, Penny Downie, Brian McDermott
CROSSTRAP
1962
0
A couple planning a quiet time in the countryside find a dead body in their cottage.
Minor thriller which doesn't make the most of its premise, getting bogged down in chatter and plot contortions. Criticised for its violence at the time, it disappeared for many years but was rediscovered in the 2010s.
Dir: Robert Hartford-Davis
Stars: Laurence Payne, Jill Adams, Zena Marshall, Gary Cockrell
CROUCHING TIGER, HIDDEN DRAGON
2000
*
A warrior aims to retrieve his treasured sword which has been stolen.
Martial arts meets The Matrix, fun and spectacular when there's fighting, dull and ponderous when there's none.
Dir: Ang Lee
Stars: Yun-Fat Chow, Michelle Yeoh, Ziyi Zhang
THE CROWD
1928
***
A man meets a woman and they start on life together...
One of the silent era's finest and most mature pictures, this tells a story of the ages, and anyone who has lived life to a proper extent will empathise with its incidents. It both captures the experience of the Twenties and what it is to be human - and the photography is exemplary.
Dir: King Vidor
Stars: James Murray, Eleanor Boardman, Bert Roach, Estelle Clark
THE CROWDED SKY
1960
0
A navy jet and a passenger plane run into difficulties.
One of the early airline disaster pictures; a boring assembly of trivia, all hung on one very brief incident at the end.
Dir: Joseph Pevney
Stars: Dana Andrews, Rhonda Fleming, Efrem Zimbalist Jr, Keenan Wynn
CROWHAVEN FARM
1971 (TV)
0
A young couple inherit a farm where supernatural forces appear to be at work.
Unspectacular spooky with well done, nightmarish flashback sequences.
Dir: Walter Grauman
Stars: Hope Lange, Paul Burke, John Carradine
THE CRUCIBLE
1996
*
In 1692 in Salem, Massachusetts, rumours of witchcraft run wild.
The film adaptation of Arthur Miller's play was a fair time coming, but this will do as a study aid for schoolchildren even if it doesn't quite capture the energy and tension of the original - it does capture the chilly austerity, though. If they'd waited a few more years to make it, it could have been an allegory about the hysteria of the 'woke' community (evolving from its earlier McCarthyite parallels).
Dir: Nicholas Hytner
Stars: Daniel Day-Lewis, Winona Ryder, Paul Scofield, Joan Allen
CRUCIBLE OF TERROR
1971
0
A sculptor is possessed by the evil spirit of a dead artist who makes him kill people.
Screamer which settles for clichés after its impressive pre-credits sequence.
Dir: Ted Hooker
Stars: Mike Raven, Mary Maude, James Bolam, Ronald Lacey, Me Me Lai
CRUEL INTENTIONS
1999
**
A girl bets her step-brother that he won't be able to bed a virgin.
More entertaining, modern-day version of Dangerous Liaisons, tightly controlled, with some sharp, waspish dialogue for the main protagonists.
Dir: Roger Kumble
Stars: Sarah Michelle Gellar, Ryan Phillippe, Reese Witherspoon, Selma Blair
THE CRUEL SEA
1953
**
The trials and tribulations of an escort ship and its officers in World War Two.
This commercially successful naval film surprises, in that several sequences do not take place in the water - this gives it a 'stop-start' feel that doesn't allow it to build the drama as much as it might; but it's a well shot and acted picture that refuses to shy away from showing grim realities and squalid tragedy.
Dir: Charles Frend
Stars: Jack Hawkins, Donald Sinden, John Stratton, Denholm Elliott
CRUISING
1980
**
A police officer goes undercover in the gay community to find a homosexual killer.
Demi-fascinating thriller, a cause of predictable controversy, worth watching although the conclusion does throw up more questions than answers.
Dir: William Friedkin
Stars: Al Pacino, Paul Sorvino, Karen Allen
CRUMB
1994
***
Documentary about underground artist Robert Crumb and his eccentric family.
Fascinating stuff, much more than just a portrait of the artist.
Dir: Terry Zwigoff
CRY FOR THE STRANGERS
1982 (TV)
0
A couple move to what they hope is a quiet little town, but mysterious deaths occur every time a storm rolls in.
Laborious chiller with tiresome dialogue and situations.
Dir: Peter Medak
Stars: Patrick Duffy, Cindy Pickett, Jeff Corey
CROSSTALK
1982
0
A man confined to his apartment detects a murder thanks to his computer.
Hi-tech thriller with a nod to Rear Window; the fact that the technology's now dated is detrimental to it.
Dir: Mark Egerton
Stars: Gary Day, Penny Downie, Brian McDermott
CROSSTRAP
1962
0
A couple planning a quiet time in the countryside find a dead body in their cottage.
Minor thriller which doesn't make the most of its premise, getting bogged down in chatter and plot contortions. Criticised for its violence at the time, it disappeared for many years but was rediscovered in the 2010s.
Dir: Robert Hartford-Davis
Stars: Laurence Payne, Jill Adams, Zena Marshall, Gary Cockrell
CROUCHING TIGER, HIDDEN DRAGON
2000
*
A warrior aims to retrieve his treasured sword which has been stolen.
Martial arts meets The Matrix, fun and spectacular when there's fighting, dull and ponderous when there's none.
Dir: Ang Lee
Stars: Yun-Fat Chow, Michelle Yeoh, Ziyi Zhang
THE CROWD
1928
***
A man meets a woman and they start on life together...
One of the silent era's finest and most mature pictures, this tells a story of the ages, and anyone who has lived life to a proper extent will empathise with its incidents. It both captures the experience of the Twenties and what it is to be human - and the photography is exemplary.
Dir: King Vidor
Stars: James Murray, Eleanor Boardman, Bert Roach, Estelle Clark
THE CROWDED SKY
1960
0
A navy jet and a passenger plane run into difficulties.
One of the early airline disaster pictures; a boring assembly of trivia, all hung on one very brief incident at the end.
Dir: Joseph Pevney
Stars: Dana Andrews, Rhonda Fleming, Efrem Zimbalist Jr, Keenan Wynn
CROWHAVEN FARM
1971 (TV)
0
A young couple inherit a farm where supernatural forces appear to be at work.
Unspectacular spooky with well done, nightmarish flashback sequences.
Dir: Walter Grauman
Stars: Hope Lange, Paul Burke, John Carradine
THE CRUCIBLE
1996
*
In 1692 in Salem, Massachusetts, rumours of witchcraft run wild.
The film adaptation of Arthur Miller's play was a fair time coming, but this will do as a study aid for schoolchildren even if it doesn't quite capture the energy and tension of the original - it does capture the chilly austerity, though. If they'd waited a few more years to make it, it could have been an allegory about the hysteria of the 'woke' community (evolving from its earlier McCarthyite parallels).
Dir: Nicholas Hytner
Stars: Daniel Day-Lewis, Winona Ryder, Paul Scofield, Joan Allen
CRUCIBLE OF TERROR
1971
0
A sculptor is possessed by the evil spirit of a dead artist who makes him kill people.
Screamer which settles for clichés after its impressive pre-credits sequence.
Dir: Ted Hooker
Stars: Mike Raven, Mary Maude, James Bolam, Ronald Lacey, Me Me Lai
CRUEL INTENTIONS
1999
**
A girl bets her step-brother that he won't be able to bed a virgin.
More entertaining, modern-day version of Dangerous Liaisons, tightly controlled, with some sharp, waspish dialogue for the main protagonists.
Dir: Roger Kumble
Stars: Sarah Michelle Gellar, Ryan Phillippe, Reese Witherspoon, Selma Blair
CRUEL PASSION
1977
0
In the 19th century, two sisters leave a convent to become prostitutes.
Ashen period drama based on the writings of the Marquis de Sade, it plods its way to its almost risibly grim conclusion. Cinematography is above average but on a film like this that'd never be enough to bring the punters in if there weren't thrills elsewhere; the presence of a future consort of Royalty gave it some fame later on.
Dir: Chris Boger
Stars: Koo Stark, Martin Potter, Lydia Lisle, Ann Michelle
THE CRUEL SEA
1953
**
The trials and tribulations of an escort ship and its officers in World War Two.
This commercially successful naval film surprises, in that several sequences do not take place in the water - this gives it a 'stop-start' feel that doesn't allow it to build the drama as much as it might; but it's a well shot and acted picture that refuses to shy away from showing grim realities and squalid tragedy.
Dir: Charles Frend
Stars: Jack Hawkins, Donald Sinden, John Stratton, Denholm Elliott
CRUISING
1980
**
A police officer goes undercover in the gay community to find a homosexual killer.
Demi-fascinating thriller, a cause of predictable controversy, worth watching although the conclusion does throw up more questions than answers.
Dir: William Friedkin
Stars: Al Pacino, Paul Sorvino, Karen Allen
CRUMB
1994
***
Documentary about underground artist Robert Crumb and his eccentric family.
Fascinating stuff, much more than just a portrait of the artist.
Dir: Terry Zwigoff
CRY FOR THE STRANGERS
1982 (TV)
0
A couple move to what they hope is a quiet little town, but mysterious deaths occur every time a storm rolls in.
Laborious chiller with tiresome dialogue and situations.
Dir: Peter Medak
Stars: Patrick Duffy, Cindy Pickett, Jeff Corey
CRY OF THE BANSHEE
1970
0
In 17th century England, a wicked lord kills those he considers witches.
Confused shocker directed with an unsure hand. A pale semi-imitation of Witchfinder General, it's even more redundant in its cut version; Price is wasted in either version.
Dir: Gordon Hessler
Stars: Vincent Price, Essy Persson, Patrick Mower, Sally Geeson, Hugh Griffith
CRY OF THE WEREWOLF
1944
0
A woman raised by gypsies hides a dark secret.
Those expecting a werewolf to be regularly bounding across the moors with blood staining his teeth and claws might have been disappointed; on the other hand, those wanting a series of talk scenes mainly in indoor rooms may not have been. At least there's a bushy tailed cat surely everyone will like.
Dir: Henry Levin
Stars: Nina Foch, Stephen Crane, Osa Massen
CRY UNCLE
1971
0
A private eye takes on a case involving blackmail and murder.
A strange, distinct sort of movie for various reasons - it is super-sleazy but uses sound effects and visual quirks more associated with films suitable for the family; it was directed by a man who later won an Oscar (for Rocky); it has language and nudity that just a couple of years before wouldn't have been accepted. A typically hard-to-follow film noir, it has odd comedy and isn't devoid of certain qualities, but just isn't likeable or endearing. The things American culture throws up!
Dir: John G Avildsen
Stars: Allen Garfield, Madeleine Le Roux, Pamela Gruen
CRY_WOLF
2005
0
High school seniors who delight in playing tricks on one another are confronted by real terror.
Tricksy 'junior' horror whose main novelty, that most of the incidents are pranks, isn't as novel as it thinks; it soon becomes irksome.
Dir: Jeff Wadlow
Stars: Julian Morris, Lindy Booth, Gary Cole, Jon Bon Jovi
THE CRYING GAME
1992
***
An IRA gunman gets himself into ever deeper trouble.
The less the viewer knows in advance about this film's story the better, but the trouble was that everyone became familiar with the twist even if they hadn't seen it - although that, of course, gave it great fame, or infamy. It's to be hoped that in the future more will come to it afresh and be given one of cinema's most fiendishly brilliant shocks, while also being engaged by a solid thriller with many deeper themes; paradoxically, while Davidson's character is the heart and soul of it, the performer is not the most assured - but perhaps it matters not.
Dir: Neil Jordan
Stars: Stephen Rea, Jaye Davidson, Forest Whitaker, Miranda Richardson, Jim Broadbent
CRYPT OF THE VAMPIRE
1964
0
A nobleman believes his daughter may be possessed.
Underwhelming version of a story filmed many times; Lee's hardly in it and the script could have done with a few more revisions. A few years later they'd be showing the lesbian lust hinted at here.
Dir: Camillo Mastrocinque
Stars: Adriana Ambesi, Christopher Lee, Ursula Davis, Jose Campos
CSA: THE CONFEDERATE STATES OF AMERICA
2004
*
Faux documentary looking at what might have happened had the South won the American Civil War.
An attractive, novel idea which makes rather too many irrational assumptions but presents its agenda in an agreeably accessible fashion.
Dir: Kevin Willmott
Stars: Evamarii Johnson, Rupert Pate, Larry J Peterson, Charles Frank
CUBE
1997
*
A group of people find themselves trapped in a cuboid prison.
Intermittently intriguing sci-fi which feels like it should have been better - certainly, the conclusion is unsatisfying.
Dir: Vincenzo Natali
Stars: Maurice Dean Wint, David Hewlett, Nicky Guadagni
CUJO
1983
0
A St Bernard contracts rabies and turns into a mad killer.
Minor league Stephen King; the problem is the cute little dog and the fact that its antics are stretched out for an hour and a half.
Dir: Lewis Teague
Stars: Dee Wallace-Stone, Danny Pintauro, Ed Lauter
CUL-DE-SAC
1966
0
Two criminals take refuge at an isolated castle on Lindisfarne where they meet the unusual owners.
Black comedy which doesn’t quite work; strong on atmosphere, weak on plot hooks. Some of the cinematography may be striking but that doesn’t help much when you’re faced with a rambling script that features irritating characters, is almost deliberately unlikeable and goes on for far too long.
Dir: Roman Polanski
Stars: Donald Pleasence, Francoise Dorleac, Lionel Stander, Jack MacGowran, Robert Dorning, Jacqueline Bisset
CUP FEVER
CRY_WOLF
2005
0
High school seniors who delight in playing tricks on one another are confronted by real terror.
Tricksy 'junior' horror whose main novelty, that most of the incidents are pranks, isn't as novel as it thinks; it soon becomes irksome.
Dir: Jeff Wadlow
Stars: Julian Morris, Lindy Booth, Gary Cole, Jon Bon Jovi
THE CRYING GAME
1992
***
An IRA gunman gets himself into ever deeper trouble.
The less the viewer knows in advance about this film's story the better, but the trouble was that everyone became familiar with the twist even if they hadn't seen it - although that, of course, gave it great fame, or infamy. It's to be hoped that in the future more will come to it afresh and be given one of cinema's most fiendishly brilliant shocks, while also being engaged by a solid thriller with many deeper themes; paradoxically, while Davidson's character is the heart and soul of it, the performer is not the most assured - but perhaps it matters not.
Dir: Neil Jordan
Stars: Stephen Rea, Jaye Davidson, Forest Whitaker, Miranda Richardson, Jim Broadbent
CRYPT OF THE VAMPIRE
1964
0
A nobleman believes his daughter may be possessed.
Underwhelming version of a story filmed many times; Lee's hardly in it and the script could have done with a few more revisions. A few years later they'd be showing the lesbian lust hinted at here.
Dir: Camillo Mastrocinque
Stars: Adriana Ambesi, Christopher Lee, Ursula Davis, Jose Campos
CSA: THE CONFEDERATE STATES OF AMERICA
2004
*
Faux documentary looking at what might have happened had the South won the American Civil War.
An attractive, novel idea which makes rather too many irrational assumptions but presents its agenda in an agreeably accessible fashion.
Dir: Kevin Willmott
Stars: Evamarii Johnson, Rupert Pate, Larry J Peterson, Charles Frank
CUBE
1997
*
A group of people find themselves trapped in a cuboid prison.
Intermittently intriguing sci-fi which feels like it should have been better - certainly, the conclusion is unsatisfying.
Dir: Vincenzo Natali
Stars: Maurice Dean Wint, David Hewlett, Nicky Guadagni
CUJO
1983
0
A St Bernard contracts rabies and turns into a mad killer.
Minor league Stephen King; the problem is the cute little dog and the fact that its antics are stretched out for an hour and a half.
Dir: Lewis Teague
Stars: Dee Wallace-Stone, Danny Pintauro, Ed Lauter
CUL-DE-SAC
1966
0
Two criminals take refuge at an isolated castle on Lindisfarne where they meet the unusual owners.
Black comedy which doesn’t quite work; strong on atmosphere, weak on plot hooks. Some of the cinematography may be striking but that doesn’t help much when you’re faced with a rambling script that features irritating characters, is almost deliberately unlikeable and goes on for far too long.
Dir: Roman Polanski
Stars: Donald Pleasence, Francoise Dorleac, Lionel Stander, Jack MacGowran, Robert Dorning, Jacqueline Bisset
CUP FEVER
1965
*
A local boy's team get some help from Manchester United.
Children's Film Foundation antics: if you didn't know better you'd think it had been made purely as a time capsule, particularly with regards to Manchester and Manchester United. It also happened to feature a couple of stars of the future in George and Hussey; it may not be any shakes dramatically speaking but location-wise it's a winner.
Dir: David Bracknell
Stars: Bernard Cribbins, David Lodge, Susan George, Olivia Hussey
THE CURE
1917
**
An alcoholic throws a health clinic into chaos.
Gag-ridden Chaplin short from his best period.
Dir: Charles Chaplin
Stars: Charles Chaplin, Edna Purviance, Eric Campbell
THE CURIOUS CASE OF BENJAMIN BUTTON
2008
**
A man is born as an old person and as he ‘ages’ he becomes younger – this makes his love life somewhat problematic.
Lovely to look at, this ambitious fantasy may fail to say much about American history or even what it’s like to live your life backwards but it does envelop you in its sombre, reflective mood and inspire some poignant thoughts about loss, love, life and death.
Dir: David Fincher
Stars: Brad Pitt, Cate Blanchett, Julia Ormond, Jason Flemyng, Tilda Swinton, Jared Harris
THE CURIOUS DR HUMPP
1967
0
A mad doctor kidnaps couples to perform sexual experiments on them.
Bizarre, bamboozling oddity which combines a B-movie alien invaders plot with fairly explicit sex scenes. It leaves you in a daze.
Dir: Emilio Vieyra
Stars: Ricardo Bauleo, Gloria Prat
THE CURSE
1988
0
A meteorite falls to Earth and causes strange mutations on a farm.
Enjoyably grotesque horror with rib-tickling use of gore.
Dir: David Keith
Stars: Wil Wheaton, Claude Akins
CURSE OF CHUCKY
2013
*
A wheelchair-bound woman receives a Chucky doll in the post.
Nine years after the last [appalling] Chucky film, and released straight-to-DVD in the UK, this is, surprisingly, one of the very best of the whole series, with a serious tone that makes it probably the least camp of all of them. It suits its restricted setting, small timescale and moderate pacing, and is enlivened by some big surprises, well-judged shocks and tense set-pieces, including one concerning rat poison and a meal for five; perhaps low expectations assist it but it's a pretty decent shocker, at least until it decides to serve up at least one too many fanboy-pleasing twist at the end.
Dir: Don Mancini
Stars: Brad Dourif, Fiona Dourif, Danielle Bisutti, Maitland McConnell
THE CURSE OF FRANKENSTEIN
1957
**
Baron Frankenstein creates a monster out of separate body parts, much to his assistant's distaste.
The movie that set Hammer on 20 years of ghoulish success has of course lost a little of its gory relish but remains a seminal film of its genre; Cushing and Lee's performances are both wonderfully committed and elevate it from what could have been a more ordinary picture - although it is handsomely staged.
Dir: Terence Fisher
Stars: Peter Cushing, Christopher Lee, Hazel Court, Robert Urquhart, Valerie Gaunt, Melvyn Hayes
THE CURSE OF FRANKENSTEIN
1972
0
A vampire woman steals Frankenstein’s monster from him.
Unfathomable guff, not quite as bad as the director’s Dracula, Prisoner Of Frankenstein (qv), made at the same time, mainly thanks to a couple of Bava-like touches with the lighting and the grotesques. Crushingly boring, it was also released in a naughtier version as The Erotic Rites Of Frankenstein, the additional scenes of which are included as an extra on the British DVD – it certainly seems the preferable cut thanks to the flesh and the excision of the pointless gypsy subplot.
Dir: Jess Franco
Stars: Dennis Price, Howard Vernon, Alberto Dalbes, Britt Nichols, Lina Romay
THE CURSE OF THE CAT PEOPLE
1944
*
A withdrawn little girl swears she talks to the ghost of her father's first wife.
Delicate semi-sequel to Cat People concerning childhood fantasies, made with quiet restraint.
Dir: Gunther von Fritsch, Robert Wise
Stars: Simone Simon, Kent Smith, Jane Randolph
CURSE OF THE FLY
1965
*
The Delambre family continue their ill-fated experiments with their teleportation machines.
Third in the Fly series, and not the worst; a not un-enjoyable chiller with some effective scare sequences, most notably during the opening credits.
Dir: Don Sharp
Stars: Brian Donlevy, George Baker, Carole Gray, Burt Kwouk
CURSE OF THE PINK PANTHER
1983
0
When Inspector Clouseau disappears, detectives scour the world to find him.
Tasteless but more importantly totally unfunny farce, made purely to cash in on the name.
Dir: Blake Edwards
Stars: Ted Wass, David Niven, Robert Wagner, Herbert Lom, Joanna Lumley, Robert Loggia, Burt Kwouk, Leslie Ash, Roger Moore, Graham Stark
CURSE OF THE VOODOO
1965
0
A big-game hunter is cursed by tribesmen after he kills a lion.
Deadly dull horror whose silly wisp of a plot is fleshed out by long and uninteresting scenes, either of dialogue, chasing around or, in one instance, a dancer doing her stuff. Signs aren’t good when the narrator’s intro describes Africa as a ‘country’ and then after another ten minutes or so it becomes permanently stultifyingly boring, the unsympathetic lead the final nail in the coffin.
Dir: Lindsay Shonteff
Stars: Bryant Haliday, Dennis Price, Lisa Daniely
THE CURSE OF THE WEREWOLF
1961
**
A mute servant girl is raped by a beggar and gives birth to a werewolf.
Satisfying Hammer horror with all the trimmings. The patient build-up to Reed's appearance doesn't count against it.
Dir: Terence Fisher
Stars: Oliver Reed, Clifford Evans, Catherine Feller, Michael Ripper
THE CURSE OF THE WRAYDONS
1946
0
At the start of the 19th century, a blaggard is killing the king's men.
Archaic melodrama of almost no interest, despite the star.
Dir: Victor M Gover
Stars: Tod Slaughter, Bruce Seton, Henry Caine
CURTAINS
1982
*
A director has an actress committed to an asylum telling her it's to research a part - but he has more sinister motives.
A fair time-waster which turns into a 'guess the killer' yarn.
Dir: Richard Ciupka
Stars: John Vernon, Samantha Eggar, Linda Thorson
CUSTODY
2017
**
A young boy is at the centre of a bitter custody battle between a separated couple.
A clever film, one that starts as a fairly prosaic domestic drama but which by the end has turned into a nail-biting suspense thriller - which works because by then we are invested in the characters and have come to understand the situation, which we didn't for some time; most of the sequences that seem overlong and uneventful at the time pay off by the finish. Menochet's performance is exemplary (as is the brutalised child's), and it manages to present him as a possible threat even when he isn't on screen.
Dir: Xavier Legrand
Stars: Denis Menochet, Lea Drucker, Thomas Gioria
CYBORG
1989
0
In the plague-infested future, a martial artist hunts a killer.
Actionful fantasy which doesn't require a lot of thought.
Dir: Albert Pyun
Stars: Jean-Claude Van Damme, Deborah Richter, Vincent Klyn
THE CURE
1917
**
An alcoholic throws a health clinic into chaos.
Gag-ridden Chaplin short from his best period.
Dir: Charles Chaplin
Stars: Charles Chaplin, Edna Purviance, Eric Campbell
THE CURIOUS CASE OF BENJAMIN BUTTON
2008
**
A man is born as an old person and as he ‘ages’ he becomes younger – this makes his love life somewhat problematic.
Lovely to look at, this ambitious fantasy may fail to say much about American history or even what it’s like to live your life backwards but it does envelop you in its sombre, reflective mood and inspire some poignant thoughts about loss, love, life and death.
Dir: David Fincher
Stars: Brad Pitt, Cate Blanchett, Julia Ormond, Jason Flemyng, Tilda Swinton, Jared Harris
THE CURIOUS DR HUMPP
1967
0
A mad doctor kidnaps couples to perform sexual experiments on them.
Bizarre, bamboozling oddity which combines a B-movie alien invaders plot with fairly explicit sex scenes. It leaves you in a daze.
Dir: Emilio Vieyra
Stars: Ricardo Bauleo, Gloria Prat
THE CURSE
1988
0
A meteorite falls to Earth and causes strange mutations on a farm.
Enjoyably grotesque horror with rib-tickling use of gore.
Dir: David Keith
Stars: Wil Wheaton, Claude Akins
CURSE OF CHUCKY
2013
*
A wheelchair-bound woman receives a Chucky doll in the post.
Nine years after the last [appalling] Chucky film, and released straight-to-DVD in the UK, this is, surprisingly, one of the very best of the whole series, with a serious tone that makes it probably the least camp of all of them. It suits its restricted setting, small timescale and moderate pacing, and is enlivened by some big surprises, well-judged shocks and tense set-pieces, including one concerning rat poison and a meal for five; perhaps low expectations assist it but it's a pretty decent shocker, at least until it decides to serve up at least one too many fanboy-pleasing twist at the end.
Dir: Don Mancini
Stars: Brad Dourif, Fiona Dourif, Danielle Bisutti, Maitland McConnell
THE CURSE OF FRANKENSTEIN
1957
**
Baron Frankenstein creates a monster out of separate body parts, much to his assistant's distaste.
The movie that set Hammer on 20 years of ghoulish success has of course lost a little of its gory relish but remains a seminal film of its genre; Cushing and Lee's performances are both wonderfully committed and elevate it from what could have been a more ordinary picture - although it is handsomely staged.
Dir: Terence Fisher
Stars: Peter Cushing, Christopher Lee, Hazel Court, Robert Urquhart, Valerie Gaunt, Melvyn Hayes
THE CURSE OF FRANKENSTEIN
1972
0
A vampire woman steals Frankenstein’s monster from him.
Unfathomable guff, not quite as bad as the director’s Dracula, Prisoner Of Frankenstein (qv), made at the same time, mainly thanks to a couple of Bava-like touches with the lighting and the grotesques. Crushingly boring, it was also released in a naughtier version as The Erotic Rites Of Frankenstein, the additional scenes of which are included as an extra on the British DVD – it certainly seems the preferable cut thanks to the flesh and the excision of the pointless gypsy subplot.
Dir: Jess Franco
Stars: Dennis Price, Howard Vernon, Alberto Dalbes, Britt Nichols, Lina Romay
THE CURSE OF THE CAT PEOPLE
1944
*
A withdrawn little girl swears she talks to the ghost of her father's first wife.
Delicate semi-sequel to Cat People concerning childhood fantasies, made with quiet restraint.
Dir: Gunther von Fritsch, Robert Wise
Stars: Simone Simon, Kent Smith, Jane Randolph
CURSE OF THE CRIMSON ALTAR
1968
*
After his brother disappears, a man visits a remote country house where black magic is at work.
While not exactly good, this colourful horror isn't without worth because its plotline is a reliable old war horse, there are a few kinks and the cast is so strong - Karloff, Lee, Steele and Gough together isn't to be sniffed at, especially when Steele is painted green and wears goat headgear. The action unfolds in fairly perfunctory fashion, except for the 'dream' sequences, but the bright visuals are a treat and it's difficult not to have some affection for a film that credits 'Woman with whip', 'Second virgin' and 'Sacrifice victim'.
Dir: Vernon Sewell
Stars: Boris Karloff, Christopher Lee, Mark Eden, Barbara Steele, Michael Gough, Virginia Wetherell
CURSE OF THE FACELESS MAN
1957
0
A gladiator found in the ruins of Pompeii comes back to life and slay those who stand in the way of him finding his reincarnated lover.
The Mummy walks again, or at least a sort of Mummy, in this lunatic low budget horror that features groan-worthy narration, zero characterisation and much behaviour that's incredulous; the female cast members are rubbish but Anderson in the lead at least gives it a go. It was shot in one week, so you can't expect too much.
Dir: Edward L Cahn
Stars: Richard Anderson, Elaine Edwards, Adele Mara
CURSE OF THE FLY
1965
*
The Delambre family continue their ill-fated experiments with their teleportation machines.
Third in the Fly series, and not the worst; a not un-enjoyable chiller with some effective scare sequences, most notably during the opening credits.
Dir: Don Sharp
Stars: Brian Donlevy, George Baker, Carole Gray, Burt Kwouk
THE CURSE OF THE JADE SCORPION
2001
*
A magician hypnotises a private detective to commit a robbery.
Allen pulled another one of his old drafts out of the drawer for this minor (but expensive) light comedy which has a constantly witty script that rarely has you laughing out loud - around about this time his writing was seeming a little wheezy, his films not the fashionable/sharp ones seen not too long before (Allen himself didn't care for the movie). His character's ability to seduce beautiful women was also coming into question. Still, it's a pleasant, good-mood film with fabulous period dresses and well-pitched performances, even if the whole thing could be slightly shorter.
Dir: Woody Allen
Stars: Woody Allen, Helen Hunt, Dan Aykroyd, Charlize Theron, Wallace Shawn, Elizabeth Berkley
THE CURSE OF THE MUMMY’S TOMB
1964
*
A sarcophagus is shipped back to England; soon a mummified killer is on the loose...
By numbers example of Hammer horror, it tells a pretty basic Mummy tale: for the first two thirds there's a mass of exposition concerning curses and wotnot, and in the final third the beast goes on the loose (and the police struggle to keep track of this very slow-moving entity). The best bit is the sewer-set climax, following its spicy reveal; before that it's largely humdrum, but you can keep yourself alert by clocking which of the following two things happens most: brandy-drinking, or someone losing a hand (the brandy narrowly wins).
Dir: Michael Carreras
Stars: Terence Morgan, Ronald Howard, Fred Clark, Jeanne Roland
CURSE OF THE PINK PANTHER
1983
0
When Inspector Clouseau disappears, detectives scour the world to find him.
Tasteless but more importantly totally unfunny farce, made purely to cash in on the name.
Dir: Blake Edwards
Stars: Ted Wass, David Niven, Robert Wagner, Herbert Lom, Joanna Lumley, Robert Loggia, Burt Kwouk, Leslie Ash, Roger Moore, Graham Stark
CURSE OF THE VOODOO
1965
0
A big-game hunter is cursed by tribesmen after he kills a lion.
Deadly dull horror whose silly wisp of a plot is fleshed out by long and uninteresting scenes, either of dialogue, chasing around or, in one instance, a dancer doing her stuff. Signs aren’t good when the narrator’s intro describes Africa as a ‘country’ and then after another ten minutes or so it becomes permanently stultifyingly boring, the unsympathetic lead the final nail in the coffin.
Dir: Lindsay Shonteff
Stars: Bryant Haliday, Dennis Price, Lisa Daniely
THE CURSE OF THE WEREWOLF
1961
**
A mute servant girl is raped by a beggar and gives birth to a werewolf.
Satisfying Hammer horror with all the trimmings. The patient build-up to Reed's appearance doesn't count against it.
Dir: Terence Fisher
Stars: Oliver Reed, Clifford Evans, Catherine Feller, Michael Ripper
THE CURSE OF THE WRAYDONS
1946
0
At the start of the 19th century, a blaggard is killing the king's men.
Archaic melodrama of almost no interest, despite the star.
Dir: Victor M Gover
Stars: Tod Slaughter, Bruce Seton, Henry Caine
CURTAINS
1982
*
A director has an actress committed to an asylum telling her it's to research a part - but he has more sinister motives.
A fair time-waster which turns into a 'guess the killer' yarn.
Dir: Richard Ciupka
Stars: John Vernon, Samantha Eggar, Linda Thorson
CUSTODY
2017
**
A young boy is at the centre of a bitter custody battle between a separated couple.
A clever film, one that starts as a fairly prosaic domestic drama but which by the end has turned into a nail-biting suspense thriller - which works because by then we are invested in the characters and have come to understand the situation, which we didn't for some time; most of the sequences that seem overlong and uneventful at the time pay off by the finish. Menochet's performance is exemplary (as is the brutalised child's), and it manages to present him as a possible threat even when he isn't on screen.
Dir: Xavier Legrand
Stars: Denis Menochet, Lea Drucker, Thomas Gioria
CYBORG
1989
0
In the plague-infested future, a martial artist hunts a killer.
Actionful fantasy which doesn't require a lot of thought.
Dir: Albert Pyun
Stars: Jean-Claude Van Damme, Deborah Richter, Vincent Klyn
CYBORG 2087
1966
0
A cyborg is sent from the future to 1966 to change history; two soldiers pursue him.
Yes, it's The Terminator in early form - or at least Harlan Ellison's 'Soldier' a couple of years after it was on The Outer Limits, but the always promising story is blandified and looks a lot like the TV movie it was originally intended to be. There are nice moments - the cyborg revealing himself, the encounter in the old Western town - in amongst the un-atmospheric, un-gritty padding. It could have been so much better, and later would be.
Dir: Franklin Adreon
Stars: Michael Renniw, Karen Steele, Wendell Corey
