1931
***
When police are unable to catch a child murderer, criminals join the hunt.
Striking expressionist piece, part thriller, part social drama, an important film for a number of reasons, including bringing its star and director to world attention.
Dir: Fritz Lang
Stars: Peter Lorre, Otto Wernicke, Gustav Grundgens
MA RAINEY'S BLACK BOTTOM
2020
0
In 1927 Chicago, a jazz band's session is anything but smooth.
There's no escaping the theatrical origins of this hot and bothered - and race-obsessed - small-scale drama which lacks sympathetic characters, including the belligerent lead, and their constant trivial bickering does not make for a compelling motion picture. 'I'll have one ticket for Ma Rainey's Black Bottom, please.' You wonder how many cinema goers managed to say that to ticket sellers... (And if they were buying tickets, it was probably because they'd been misled by ideological film critics.)
Dir: George C Wolfe
Stars: Viola Davis, Chadwick Boseman, Glynn TurmanMAC AND ME
1988
0
An alien on the run from NASA is befriended by a boy in a wheelchair.
A movie to make you fill four sick bags, a cynical, tasteless and horrible chunk of sentiment made by fast food purveyors McDonald's, who make sure you know it.
Dir: Stewart Raffill
Stars: Christine Ebersole, Jonathan Ward
MACABRE
1980
*
When a woman’s lover is decapitated, she still can’t let him go.
The makers of this pleasingly twisted horror are a lot better at creating a strange, not-quite-right atmosphere than they are at padding the running time with character behaviour that develops suspense or makes sense; tighter editing would have improved it but the lurid finale makes up for some of the previous ambling.
Dir: Lamberto Bava
Stars: Bernice Stegers, Stanko Molnar, Veronica Zinny
MACBETH
1948
*
An 11th-century Scottish nobleman is persuaded to pursue the kingship by his ambitious wife.
The Scottish play, made cheaply in one month; the visuals are occasionally striking but it eventually succumbs to stodginess.
Dir: Orson Welles
Stars: Orson Welles, Jeanette Nolan, Dan O'Herlihy, Roddy McDowall, Alan Napier
MACBETH
1971
**
A bloody, dark version now deservedly recognised as the best of the Macbeths.
Dir: Roman Polanski
Stars: Jon Finch, Francesca Annis, Martin Shaw, Terence Bayler
MACBETH
1997
0
Cheesesparing version made for television but given a limited cinema release. The lack of budget, and attendant talent, drains it of interest in all sorts of ways, but it gives it a go, with some pluck on show. The end credits include hundreds of 'associate producers' who were obviously members of the public who put up money for its production - pity they didn't get one that was more than sound and fury. It's certainly proof that you need more than a good script to make a good film...
Dir: Jeremy Freeston
Stars: Jason Connery, Helen Baxendale, Graham McTavish, Hildegard Neil
MACBETH
2006
*
An adaptation that transports the action to the modern-day Melbourne underworld.
Trashily entertaining version that piles on the violence, drug abuse and nudity to varying degrees of success: much of the gravitas of the text is lost, Macbeth himself has become a drip and the climactic slow-motion shoot-out scenes don’t work at all, but it has an industrious approach and a boyish energy that plaster over some of the cracks. The very critical might say it’s neither good Shakespeare nor good mobster movie - Australian gangsters’ line readings are not what the world’s been waiting for and you’re not sure who it’s most meant to appeal to – but the Bard’s plays have been treated in much drier and sleepier fashions than this.
Dir: Geoffrey Wright
Stars: Sam Worthington, Victoria Hill, Steve Bastoni, Lachy Hulme
MACBETH
2015
*
Time for another revival of the Scottish play: this bloody version chooses not to link the play with any contemporary Scottish political issues, and also manages to dial down the characters' motivations (Lady Macbeth is as dull as ditchwater), submerging them in atmospheric, crepuscular visuals - the result is an intense, buzzing film, but one that's hard to feel close to.
Dir: Justin Kurzel
Stars: Michael Fassbender, Marion Cotillard, Paddy Considine, David Thewlis, Sean Harris
MACHETE KILLS
2013
*
Elderly warrior Machete is hired by the President to track down a mad arms dealer.
This sequel to a film inspired by a fake trailer in Grindhouse (qv) is most suitable for excitable teenage boys; for the rest of us its depressingly casual attitude to violence and death becomes wearying, only partly offset by the occasional dashes of invention and the starry cast. Unbelievably, the actor playing the emotionally and intellectually limited, but impressively physical, hero is pushing 70.
Dir: Robert Rodriguez
Stars: Danny Trejo, Mel Gibson, Amber Heard, Lady Gaga, Antonio Banderas, Charlie Sheen
THE MACHINIST
2005
*
An industrial worker who cannot sleep begins to doubt his sanity.
Relentlessly grim psychological thriller with a notable central performance, it sets up a trillion questions before its Memento-style denouement.
Dir: Brad Anderson
Stars: Christian Bale, Jennifer Jason Leigh, Michael Ironside
MACUMBA SEXUAL
1983
0
A woman has vivid dreams of a black princess, and then meets her.
Dreamlike erotica whose script can’t have taken up more than a couple of pages. If you’re in the mood for it it’s tolerable; if not it may induce lassitude despite the masses of nudity.
Dir: Jess Franco
Stars: Lina Romay, Ajita Wilson, Jess Franco, Antonio Mayans
MAD ABOUT MEN
1954
0
Miranda the mermaid falls in love with a human.
Sequel to Miranda (qv); a forgettable piece of whimsy.
Dir: Ralph Thomas
Stars: Glynis Johns, Donald Sinden, Margaret Rutherford, Joan Hickson, Irene Handl
MAD DOCTOR OF BLOOD ISLAND
1968
0
A doctor is creating zombies on a tropical island.
Snoozesome horror that's neither well made nor scary; excessive and repetitive zooming in and out is pretty much all that's in the directors' armour. The lead actor has perhaps been drugged.
Dir: Gerardo de Leon, Eddie Romero
Stars: John Ashley, Angelique Pettyjohn, Ronald Remy
MAD FOXES
1981
*
A man takes on a vicious biker gang.
Jaw-droppingly bad, this is a gloriously incompetent slice of sleaze that has to be seen to be believed. Its melange of amoral violence, brazen nudity (from both sexes) and Nazi emblems makes it the perfect flick for broad-minded trash movie fans. Beware of the exploding toilet!
Dir: Paul Grau
Stars: Jose Gras, Laura Premica, Andrea Albani
THE MAD GHOUL
1943
0
An unhinged biology professor turns one of his students into a part-time killer.
By no means among Universal's finest monster movies of the period, but Zucco gives good value as the mad scientist; there's some fun among the silliness.
Dir: James P Hogan
Stars: George Zucco, David Bruce, Evelyn Ankers, Robert Armstrong
MAD LOVE
1935
*
A mad surgeon obsessed with an actress replaces her hands with those of killer's.
Horror which is unlikely to have you on the edge of your seat in excitement, more likely sitting back admiring the style.
Dir: Karl Freund
Stars: Peter Lorre, Frances Drake, Colin Clive
MAD MAX
1979
*
In a desolate future Australia, bikers murder a cop's family, but he strikes back.
Rather grim sci-fi which serves to set up the structure for its more actionful follow-up.
Dir: George Miller
Stars: Mel Gibson, Joanne Samuel, Steve Bisley
MAD MAX BEYOND THUNDERDOME
1985
*
Max aids a colony of lost children.
Second sequel which adopts a more earnest approach and doesn't really lift off until the final battle, although the visual style is consistently impressive.
Dir: George Miller, George Ogilvie
Stars: Mel Gibson, Tina Turner, Bruce Spence
MAD MAX: FURY ROAD
2015
***
Max assists a group of women escaping from a cruel despot.
Easily the best Mad Max movie, and who'd have thought that a 70-year-old director could make such a pulsating, energetic movie 30 years after he last visited the franchise? Uncompromising and unapologetic, its relentless drive (pun intended - nearly all of the film takes place on the move) is fairly remarkable, and the physical action on display gets the feet tapping; it also has a very strong visual sense, from the weird variety of characters to the strikingly lit deserts. Plot may be minimal, but this perhaps isn't such a bad thing; you can see films, TV series, videogames and comics following it up.
Dir: George Miller
Stars: Tom Hardy, Charlize Theron, Nicholas Hoult, Hugh Keays-Byrne
MAD MONSTER PARTY?
1967
*
Baron Frankenstein throws a party to celebrate his new invention and invites a whole host of famous monsters.
Stop-motion animation particularly suitable for young children, although some adults may have a good time too; it has a cute look, the gaggle of monsters (Frankenstein’s monster and his mate, Dracula, Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde, Invisible Man, Werewolf, Mummy, Hunchback, Creature and King Kong) is fun and a few have big personalities – it just goes on a wee bit too long. The title’s question mark is somewhat extraneous.
Dir: Jules Bass
Voices: Boris Karloff, Allen Swift, Gale Garnett, Phyllis Diller
MAD WEDNESDAY
1947
*
A former college football star attempts to capture his former glories by escaping from his dull job.
Weird, famously misfiring comic drama totally lacking in the uplifting qualities of the star's earlier works like, for instance, The Freshman, which starts this film.
Dir: Preston Sturges
Stars: Harold Lloyd, Jimmy Conlin, Raymond Walburn
MADAME CURIE
1943
**
Pierre Curie takes a wife and together they discover radium.
This biopic does a pretty good job of making what is a dry subject understandable and entertaining, in part thanks to the usual Hollywood tinkering but also due to a lovely cast. It gives an idea of what tough, endless research and endeavour can be like but not in a way that turns the viewer off.
Dir: Mervyn LeRoy
Stars: Greer Garson, Walter Pidgeon, Henry Travers, Albert Bassermann
MADAME SOUSATZKA
1988
*
An eccentric piano teacher finds it difficult to let her star pupil go.
Curious, flabby drama with a certain raw charm, possibly the result of the director wishing to get back to homespun domestic films. Not wholly a failure but littered with excisable scenes.
Dir: John Schlesinger
Stars: Shirley MacLaine, Peggy Ashcroft, Twiggy, Navin Chowdhry, Geoffrey Bayldon
MADE
1972
*
A troubled single mother takes up with a rock star.
Based on a play apparently inspired by The Beatles' 'Eleanor Rigby', this is fitfully successful, but only fitfully (the original author disliked it): it lacks a tight focus, and too many scenes drift, particularly those with non-actor Harper. Still, the location shooting is bracing and its efforts to vigorously embrace real life are admirable (if mixed - the football riot scene doesn't really work); it's also a precise snapshot of cultural behaviour in the middle of several decades in which it changed tremendously - some of its philosophising is inevitably dated.
Dir: John Mackenzie
Stars: Carol White, Roy Harper, John Castle, Doremy Vernon
MADHOUSE
1974
*
An actor famous for playing a character called Dr Death finds that many of his friends and colleagues are dying around him.
In-jokey horror with a star performance to be relished, from the days when British horror films were cosy and fun rather than unpleasant and 'realistic'.
Dir: Jim Clark
Stars: Vincent Price, Peter Cushing, Robert Quarry, Adrienne Cori, Linda Hayden
MADHOUSE
1981
0
A woman’s evil twin may be responsible for several killings.
Fortuitously blacklisted in the UK, this decent looking horror lacks momentum and makes little sense, though it does have a couple of gory highlights: a man having his hand chewed off and a dog with a drill through its head. It was released uncut on DVD in 2004, but the sound quality is appalling.
Dir: Ovidio G Assonitis
Stars: Trish Everly, Michael MacRae, Dennis Robertson, Alison Biggers
MADMAN
1982
0
Summer camp youths inadvertently summon a serial killer to butcher them.
Horrendous slasher flick in which brainless characters move around slowly and ineptly.
Dir: Joe Giannone
Stars: Tony Fish, Jan Claire
THE MAGGIE
1953
**
An American businessman in Scotland is conned into using a coal-powered steamer.
Memorably etched Ealing comedy cannily showcasing the difference between brash, new-world Americans and set-in-their-ways Scots. Shot in lovely black and white.
Dir: Alexander Mackendrick
Stars: Paul Douglas, Alex Mackenzie, James Copeland, Geoffrey Keen, Andrew Keir
THE MAGIC CHRISTIAN
1969
0
The world's richest man adopts a tramp to be his son, and together they seek to see what people will do for money.
There are plenty of novel ideas and famous faces in this black comedy but it doesn't hang together in satisfactory fashion - it comes as little surprise to learn that some of it was made up as they went along. Its unwelcome predisposition seems to be to 'punch down', mocking people for their desire for money; because of those involved it holds a minor place in British Sixties cultural history but it never could be called a successful project. They had fun making it, though.
Dir: Joseph McGrath
Stars: Peter Sellers, Ringo Starr, Isabel Jeans, Wilfrid Hyde-White, Richard Attenborough, Laurence Harvey, Christopher Lee, Spike Milligan, Roman Polanski, Raquel Welch, Hattie Jacques
THE MAGIC OF LASSIE
1978
0
A boy is heartbroken when his collie is sold.
Weak revamp of Lassie Come Home for youngsters only.
Dir: Don Chaffey
Stars: James Stewart, Mickey Rooney, Alice Faye
THE MAGIC TOYSHOP
1987
0
After her parents die, a girl is sent to live with her uncle, an odd and unpleasant toy maker.
Strange fantasy with similarities to The Company Of Wolves in that it examines a girl's journey into puberty, sometimes over-garnishing the tale with a superfluity of special effects.
Dir: David Wheatley
Stars: Caroline Milmoe, Tom Bell, Kilian McKenna
THE MAGICIAN
1926
*
An evil magician hypnotises a young woman to leave her man and marry him instead.
This doomy adaptation of Somerset Maugham’s frequently surprising novel is predictably simplified and more like the sort of horror Universal would trade in the following decade; Wegener is quite fun in his dastardly role and the castle on the hill is an effective image, amongst a few others. Thankfully not a lost film as was once thought.
Dir: Rex Ingram
Stars: Paul Wegener, Alice Terry, Ivan Petrovich
THE MAGICIAN
1958
**
A travelling magic group is stopped and humiliated by sceptical town officials; a revenge is planned.
Full of interesting themes and ideas, this unusual drama probably meant a lot to the director and is certainly among his best shot pictures, being full of visual richness; perhaps it departs from its central story a little too often, lessening the tension, but then again, who are we to pick holes in Bergman?
Dir: Ingmar Bergman
Stars: Max von Sydow, Ingrid Thulin, Gunnar Bjornstrand, Bibi Andersson
THE MAGICIAN
2005
0
A hit man goes about his daily business.
Low budget mock documentary not without merit, but bogged down by a superfluity of talk.
Dir: Scott Ryan
Stars: Scott Ryan, Ben Walker, Massimiliano Andrighetto
THE MAGNIFICENT AMBERSONS
1942
**
The trials of a wealthy mid-19th century family.
Welles's follow-up to Citizen Kane remains in that film's shadow despite its many qualities; studio interference is evident in the final, recut version and weakens its impact and flow. Whisper it quietly, but perhaps this talky period drama always was a little on the dull side, with a damaging one-note performance by Holt.
Dir: Orson Welles
Stars: Joseph Cotten, Dolores Costello, Tim Holt, Anne Baxter, Agnes Moorehead. Narrator: Orson Welles
MAGNOLIA
1999
***
Various lives interconnect on a stormy day in LA.
A cluster of unhappy, neurotic and unbalanced people thrown into a murky soup; the result is a meandering, moody, largely compelling giant of a movie which has shades of grandiloquence but wins through and pulls out all the stops for a couple of audacious set pieces in its latter stages.
Dir: Paul Thomas Anderson
Stars: Tom Cruise, Julianne Moore, Jason Robards, Philip Seymour Hoffman, William H Macy, John C Reilly, Philip Baker Hall, Melora Walters, Alfred Molina
THE MAID
1990
0
A businessman becomes the maid to a beautiful woman he has fallen in love with.
Old fashioned comedy drama which 50 years previously would have starred Hope and Lamour and not have been so conspicuous by its inoffensiveness.
Dir: Ian Toynton
Stars: Martin Sheen, Jacqueline Bisset, Victoria Shalet
THE MAIN CHANCE
1964
0
A gambler is asked to smuggle a valuable package into the country.
Adequate if somewhat uninspired entry into the Edgar Wallace Mysteries series, which didn't have much longer to run.
Dir: John Knight
Stars: Gregoire Aslan, Tracy Reed, Edward de Souza
THE MAJESTIC
2001
*
In 1951, a blacklisted Hollywood writer has a car accident, loses his memory, and winds up in a village where he is mistaken for a long lost son.
Slightly absurd Capraesque drama which seems like the result of a lot of things thrown together. They don't quite gel but at least it's a return to wholesome moviemaking.
Dir: Frank Darabont
Stars: Jim Carrey, Bob Balaban, Hal Holbrook, Martin Landau
A MAJORITY OF ONE
1961
0
A Brooklyn widow and a Japanese man fall for one another.
An example of a film that tries to be as modern and non-prejudicial as possible but would now be rejected as not being 'woke' enough, not least for Guinness playing a Japanese man. It's also incredibly long and elegantly tedious and, while being an interesting snapshot of where culture towards race was at the time, is just not something you could ever watch twice - or even once without great patience.
Dir: Mervyn LeRoy
Stars: Rosalind Russell, Alec Guinness, Ray Danton, Madlyn Rhue
MAKE MINE MINK
1960
*
Ageing ex-soldiers go on a robbing spree stealing minks.
Mild comedy which never quite hits the spot.
Dir: Robert Asher
Stars: Terry-Thomas, Hattie Jacques, Billie Whitelaw, Irene Handl, Kenneth Williams
MAKE WAY FOR TOMORROW
1937
**
An elderly couple are forced apart when they have to sell their home.
The On Golden Pond of its day, but better; a touching – if not wildly exciting – story of two people who still deeply love each other after many years (although you’d have thought if it was that deep they’d take separation rather harder than they do). There are several nice sequences, like the rocking chair/phone/bridge ones, that demonstrate McCarey at his best.
Dir: Leo McCarey
Stars: Victor Moore, Beulah Bondi, Fay Bainter, Thomas Mitchell
MAKING MR RIGHT
1987
0
A reclusive scientist builds a robot that looks exactly like him to go on a space mission.
Tired, salacious comedy with that familiar sort of robot that simply isn't funny any more.
Dir: Susan Seidelman
Stars: John Malkovich, Ann Magnuson, Glenne Headly
MAKO: THE JAWS OF DEATH
1976
0
A man who has the ability to swim with the sharks gets into trouble in a small town.
Batty thriller made on a low budget and frequently in darkness; it has a sort of silly, endearing charm for trash movie fans, and might be essential for 'Jaws-inspired movies' completists. Amusingly, Harold Sakata is billed as Harold 'Odd Job' Sakata - but perhaps it was wise, as he's fairly dreadful here.
Dir: William Grefe
Stars: Richard Jaeckel, Jennifer Bishop, Harold Sakata
MALABIMBA
1979
0
A young woman is possessed by a perverted ghost that causes her to seduce to death the men around her.
Loopy exploiter which very much focuses on the sins of the flesh.
Dir: Andrea Bianchi
Stars: Katell Laennec, Patrizia Webley, Enzo Fisichella
MALAMONDO
1964
0
Documentary that vaguely condemns wayward youthful behaviour, including nude skiing, the killing of a pig, a game of dare on an elevator, bikers racing for the prize of a woman, and plenty more.
There are various problems with this mondo movie, one of which is that much of it is obviously faked or heavily manipulated, but also that what it presents seems terribly passé or risible nowadays - since most of the participants will now be dead or pensioners perhaps that's not surprising, although many sequences do go on far too long and are genuinely tedious. As ever with these type of films though, the manner of it is otherwordly strange and it freezes in time some attitudes of the day.
Dir: Paolo Cavara
Narrator: Marvin Miller
MALIBU BEACH
1978
0
Teens spend time at the beach.
Plotless teen comedy of incomparable tedium.
Dir: Robert J Rosenthal
Stars: Kim Lankford, James Daughton, Susan Player
MALICE
1993
*
A surgeon has a terrible affect on a young couple's lives.
Early on all seems perspicuous and predictable; later it's a little confusing; by the end you smile at its audacity.
Dir: Harold Becker
Stars: Alec Baldwin, Nicole Kidman, Bill Pullman, George C Scott, Anne Bancroft
MALIZIA
1973
0
Both father and son are attracted to the beautiful new maid...
As is oft the case, not as pleasing as the posters or promo photos: despite the enticing sounding plotline, this slightly comic drama doesn't satisfy because the tone is inconsistent and many of the characters' behaviour is odd (why, for example, Antonelli's character's bows down before Momo's, is a mystery). It just doesn't attract, the Italians are as jabbery as ever, and if you watch a badly subtitled version it's even more irritating.
Dir: Salvatore Samperi
Stars: Laura Antonelli, Turi Ferro, Alessandro Momo
THE MALPAS MYSTERY
1960
0
A girl gets into more trouble as soon as she is released from prison.
Too much mystery for its own good: a complicated crime drama with a dizzying amount of characters, many of whom act in sometimes strange ways. Sort of part of the Edgar Wallace Mysteries but not made at Merton Studios.
Dir: Sidney Hayers
Stars: Allan Cuthbertson, Sandra Dorne, Leslie French, Geoffrey Keen
MALPERTUIS
1971
*
People are unable to escape a labyrinth they are placed in, even after death.
Weird nonsense with some pretensions to style, occasionally cited as 'the best film ever made in Belgium'.
Dir: Harry Kumel
Stars: Orson Welles, Susan Hampshire, Michel Bouquet
THE MALTESE FALCON
1941
***
Sam Spade, a private detective, searches for a valuable statuette.
The archetypal Bogart vehicle, this remake of a 1931 crime drama is among the finest of its kind; splendid dialogue is densely packed into a tight, fiercely controlled structure.
Dir: John Huston
Stars: Humphrey Bogart, Mary Astor, Peter Lorre, Sydney Greenstreet
MAMA DRACULA
1980
0
A female vampire desperately searches for virgins so she can bathe in their blood.
Worthless comic horror with unattractive characters.
Dir: Boris Szulzinger
Stars: Louise Fletcher, Maria Schneider
MAMMA MIA!
2008
*
A girl getting married on a Greek island invites three older men, one of whom is her father, although she doesn’t know which one.
This film of the incredibly popular long-running stage musical could hardly fail, and sure enough it was a huge hit, particularly with the fairer sex; it may endure as a perennial favourite too, despite some variable singing and a paper-thin plot. But then people only ever went to see it for the songs and the feel-good factor anyway.
Dir: Phyllida Lloyd
Stars: Meryl Streep, Pierce Brosnan, Colin Firth, Stellan Starsgard, Julie Walters, Amanda Seyfried, Christine Baranski
MAMMA MIA! HERE WE GO AGAIN
2018
*
Sophie falls pregnant while learning more about her mother's past.
Predictably a big summer hit, and a more summery film could hardly be conceived of: whether it's actually any good is more debatable, being an airy-fairy concoction told in two barely different feeling time zones - it's not even clear that there actually is a plot. Many of the numbers are fun, especially Waterloo and Souper Trouper, but even big Abba fans may not be familiar with three or four of the numbers - they're song choices that seem odd, because there are many fab Abba songs that haven't been used in either of these movies (People Need Love, He Is Your Brother, So Long and Ring Ring come to mind). An inoffensive, lighter-than-air trifle for those in the mood.
Dir: Ol Parker
Stars: Lily James, Amanda Seyfried, Pierce Brosnan, Colin Firth, Stellan Starsgard, Julie Walters, Christine Baranski, Cher, Dominic Cooper, Meryl Streep
MAN ALIVE
1945
0
A man pretends he is dead to find out whether his wife really loves him.
Unfunny comedy in dubious taste.
Dir: Ray Enright
Stars: Pat O'Brien, Adolphe Menjou, Ellen Drew
MAN AT THE CARLTON TOWER
1961
0
Police are flummoxed by a jewel robbery and several murders.
The usual sort of Edgar Wallace mystery, a fug of exposition, smoking and devious behaviour. There's a character called Sergeant Pepper in it.
Dir: Robert Tronson
Stars: Maxine Audley, Lee Montague, Allan Cuthbertson, Terence Alexander
MAN AT THE TOP
1973
0
Businessman Joe Lampton uncovers corruption in his pharmaceutical firm.
Those who hadn’t seen the television series on which this is based would have liked this sexed up but wintry version even less than those who had, probably perceiving it as just a dull film about big business, fronted by an unlikeable lead character. Its plot isn't a goer, and its bitterness shines through, often relayed in long sequences of talk. The only Hammer film with an F word in it.
Dir: Mike Vardy
Stars: Kenneth Haigh, Nanette Newman, Harry Andrews, William Lucas
MAN BITES DOG
1992
***
A camera crew follows a serial killer on his daily routine.
Fascinating blacker-than-black comedy which rips the skin off the knuckles to make its point. There's certainly no other film like it.
Dir: Remy Belvaux
Stars: Benoit Poelvoorde
MAN DETAINED
1961
*
A businessman involved in crime doesn't wish to report the theft of £10,000.
There are rarely any big surprises in the Edgar Wallace Mysteries, but this one, like most of the others, trots along happily enough, and plenty of location shooting freshens it.
Dir: Robert Tronson
Stars: Bernard Archard, Elvi Hale, Paul Stassino, Michael Coles
A MAN ESCAPED
1956
***
A French Resistance activist plans his escape from a Nazi camp.
Absorbing war drama, exquisitely made, it concentrates entirely on the man's efforts to get free.
Dir: Robert Bresson
Stars: Francois Leterrier, Charles Le Clainche
A MAN FOR ALL SEASONS
1966
**
Thomas More and King Henry VIII clash over the King's plans to leave the Catholic Church.
This filming of Robert Bolt's play was showered with all manner of plaudits on release but now seems a rather static and uninvolving slice of cinema, more intent on keeping the costumes unruffled than reaching out to a modern audience.
Dir: Fred Zinnemann
Stars: Paul Scofield, Wendy Hiller, Leo McKern, Robert Shaw, Orson Welles, Susannah York, Nigel Davenport, John Hurt, Corin Redgrave, Colin Blakely, Yootha Joyce
THE MAN FROM NOWHERE
1975
0
In Victorian times, a young girl is plagued by a mysterious man with a beard and top hat.
Typically milky Children's Film Foundation yarn which goes for the record of 'but he was here just a minute ago'-type scenes but must have jolted its young audiences with the sudden appearances of the Man from Nowhere, which are accompanied by a screeching electronic note.
Dir: James Hill
Stars: Sarah Hollis-Andrews, Ronald Adam, Anthony McCaffery
THE MAN FROM PLANET X
1951
0
A Scottish village receives a visitor from outer space - but is he friendly?
Aliens started visiting the cinematic Earth rather a lot in the Fifties: this was apparently the first time, with The Man a splendid looking if slightly weedy individual - his antics are shrouded in fog to mask the tiny budget (it can't mask some of the dodgy accents). Not unpleasing, it nevertheless has an uneven script that fails to build up a head of steam.
Dir: Edgar G Ulmer
Stars: Robert Clarke, Margaret Field, Raymond Bond
THE MAN FROM THE FUTURE
2011
*
A scientist travels back in time to try and rectify a past mistake he made.
Initially intriguing Brazilian sci-fi, a variant on familiar lines, that eventually falls foul to its own tangled, illogical plot and inconsistent characterisation; its unlikeable lead, unconvincing relationships and over-use of music don't help much either.
Dir: Claudio Torres
Stars: Wagner Moura, Alinne Moraes, Maria Luisa Mendonca
THE MAN FROM UNCLE
2015
0
During the Cold War, an American and Russian spy team up.
What is this? Ostensibly it's an updating of the 1960s TV series given a stylish look and hunky leads, but it utterly fails to engage, fails to have a personality, and fails, essentially, to have a reason to exist. A bizarre, bewildering and boring movie - no wonder they had trouble marketing it.
Dir: Guy Ritchie
Stars: Henry Cavill, Armie Hammer, Alicia Vikander, Elizabeth Debicki, Hugh Grant
THE MAN IN BLACK
1949
0
After a man dies, greedy relatives battle for his fortune.
Adequate mystery programmer, a bit of a plodder, with the novelty value of Sid James as a posh gent. The title doesn't refer to anything in the story itself, but to Valentine Dyall, who presents it.
Dir: Francis Searle
Stars: Sid James, Betty Anne Davis, Sheila Burrell, Valentine Dyall
A MAN IN LOVE
1987
0
An American film star and a British actress have a passionate relationship in Rome.
Ponderous rubbish which thinks itself far better than it is.
Dir: Diane Kurys
Stars: Peter Coyote, Greta Scacchi, Jamie Lee Curtis
MAN IN THE ATTIC
1953
0
A couple suspect that their strange-acting new lodger is Jack the Ripper.
Perfunctory version of The Lodger with too many dancing girls and not enough foggy London streets. The resolution it chooses might make some audiences – particularly those not familiar with the Hitchcock film – wonder exactly what the mystery was meant to be.
Dir: Hugo Fregonese
Stars: Jack Palance, Constance Smith, Byron Palmer, Frances Bavier
THE MAN IN THE BACK SEAT
1961
*
Two incompetent crooks bungle a theft from a racecourse.
Simply everything goes wrong for our likely lads in this darkish thriller which has as many loud rows as an episode of EastEnders and practically turns into a comedy thanks to its farcical nature (1989's Weekend At Bernie's comes to mind while watching it). But it's effectively shot, mostly in a car, in night-time London and Nesbitt is magnetic, giving the sort of distinctive performance he could always be relied upon to give.
Dir: Vernon Sewell
Stars: Derren Nesbitt, Keith Faulkner, Carol White
THE MAN IN THE IRON MASK
1939
**
Louis XIV keeps his twin brother imprisoned in an iron mask.
Exhausting swashbuckler made with some vigour.
Dir: James Whale
Stars: Louis Hayward, Joan Bennett, Warren William, Alan Hale
THE MAN IN THE MIRROR
1936
0
A meek man’s more commanding reflection steps out of the mirror and takes control of his life.
This old fashioned comedy would lend itself to a modern remake, and hopefully one with a bit more meat on the bones: the nice idea isn’t taken very far and ambitions remain modest. Decent trick effects, though.
Dir: Maurice Elvey
Stars: Edward Everett Horton, Genevieve Tobin, Ursula Jeans, Alastair Sim
MAN IN THE MOON
1960
0
Scientists search for a suitable candidate to be first man on the moon.
Fairly indifferent comedy which starts mildly before turning into a daft fantasy.
Dir: Basil Dearden
Stars: Kenneth More, Shirley Anne Field, Michael Hordern, Charles Gray
THE MAN IN THE WHITE SUIT
1951
***
A man invents a fabric that won't wear out, but creates a whole lot of trouble by doing so.
Biting, sharply scripted satirical comedy that's among Ealing's finest efforts, and, along with the Boulting brothers' I'm All Right Jack, the cinema's most withering focus on British industry.
Dir: Alexander Mackendrick
Stars: Alec Guinness, Joan Greenwood, Cecil Parker, Michael Gough, Ernest Thesiger, Howard Marion Crawford, Edie Martin
MAN MADE MONSTER
1940
*
A crazy scientist turns a man into an electrically-controlled monster.
Palatable horror with above-average special effects.
Dir: George Waggner
Stars: Lionel Atwill, Lon Chaney Jr, Anne Nagel
MAN OF A THOUSAND FACES
1957
**
The life of silent movie star Lon Chaney, who played many a monster on screen.
Slightly fictionalised but always compelling biopic with an admirable lead performance.
Dir: Joseph Pevney
Stars: James Cagney, Dorothy Malone, Jane Greer
MAN OF FLOWERS
1983
0
An elderly man writes letters to his dead mother, enjoys fine art and watches young women undress.
Monotonous drama which isn't as good as it thinks it is; the over-use of opera gets on the nerves and the characters aren't at all believable, especially the young artist.
Dir: Paul Cox
Stars: Norman Kaye, Alyson Best, Chris Haywood
MAN OF STEEL
2013
*
A baby is sent from the doomed planet of Krypton to Earth, where he grows up to be Superman, who battles the despotic General Zod.
It starts like Avatar and ends like a tasteless riff on 9/11, but this take on Siegel and Shuster's character is watchable enough, a decent superhero movie with the usual incredible special effects and impressively robust action sequences. It does lack heart and humour though, and characterisation and chemistry is pretty low on the agenda; it's also a pity the whole thing had to have a grey wash.
Dir: Zack Snyder
Stars: Henry Cavill, Amy Adams, Michael Shannon, Russell Crowe
MAN OF VIOLENCE
1969
0
An unprincipled loan operator is hired to track down gold bullion by two different lots of criminals.
Talky, complex thriller which doesn't offer a lot of joy other than Luan Peters' charms and some period detail; absolutely impossible to follow, it’s full of scenes that were crying out to be excised or more tightly edited and, although it was his best shot film at the time, is a long way from the director’s Frightmare and House Of Whipcord apogees (or Get Carter, a movie in the same vein, released a year or so later). A 2009 DVD/Blu-ray release offered a lovingly restored version and showed off the fashions and London and North African locations in all their glory.
Dir: Pete Walker
Stars: Michael Latimer, Luan Peters, Derek Aylward, Maurice Kaufmann, Derek Francis
THE MAN ON THE EIFFEL TOWER
1949
0
A killer taunts the French police.
A weird crime thriller, choppy and involved, and far too long, which gets plus points for the cast and the sunny Paris locations, which could barely have been utilised more, including during the silly finale on the titular tower.
Dir: Burgess Meredith
Stars: Charles Laughton, Franchot Tone, Burgess Meredith, Robert Hutton
MAN ON THE MOON
1999
***
The life of eccentric comedian Andy Kaufman.
A biopic that asks more questions (about the nature of comedy, art, reality and life) than it has answers, and never gets to the core of its central character, but is engrossing and quirky and gives Carrey a chance to show off his comic genius.
Dir: Milos Forman
Stars: Jim Carrey, Danny DeVito, Gerry Becker
MAN ON WIRE
2008
**
Documentary about a high wire artist’s 'artistic crime of the century', when he walked between the two towers of the World Trade Centre in 1974.
A tale of a remarkable man who performed a remarkable feat, one of gusto, daring and indomitable spirit; it can be contrasted with the despicable, destructive and cowardly actions of utterly pathetic people in 2001.
Dir: James Marsh
Stars: Phillippe Petit
THE MAN THEY COULD NOT HANG
1939
0
A mad scientist is executed but comes back to life to seek revenge on those who had him convicted.
One of Karloff's many mad scientist flicks, this unsurprising genre entry mixes formulaic frolics with a Cat And The Canary-type second half.
Dir: Nick Grinde
Stars: Boris Karloff, Lorna Gray, Robert Wilcox
MAN-THING
2005
0
A new sheriff investigates mysterious killings in a swamp area.
A movie adaptation of the unappealing Marvel comic was never a very bright idea, and this over-stylised and undernourished effort adds gore, swearing and green cinematography to little effect: the first hour offers no mystery because we the audience know the Man-Thing is the culprit, and the final half hour serves up extremely limited thrills.
Dir: Brett Leonard
Stars: Jack Thompson, Matthew Le Nevez, Steve Bastoni, Imogen Bailey
THE MAN WHO COULD CHEAT DEATH
1959
*
A doctor stays young by having gland transplants, but trouble awaits.
Hammer remake of The Man In Half Moon Street, a play/film rather indebted to The Picture Of Dorian Gray (with a dash of Dr Jekyll And Mr Hyde), and a decent watch despite being very talkative and completely studio-bound. The quality and honour of 1959 Britain, and Hammer Films, gets it through its deficiencies.
THE MAN WHO WOULD BE KING
1975
***
Two British soldiers travel to a land where no white man has been since Alexander.
A damned good adventure yarn that would have been made in a much less enjoyable – ie more politically correct – manner twenty years later. The two stars are at their charismatic best, much of the dialogue is amusing and the location photography is beautiful – it’s one of Huston’s very best pictures.
Dir: John Huston
Stars: Michael Caine, Sean Connery, Christopher Plummer, Saeed Jaffrey
MAN WITH A MOVIE CAMERA
1929
**
Documentary featuring a cameraman travelling around a Soviet city observing the various sights.
Not the most entertaining of watches for the average viewer nowadays (especially in the completely silent version), but of interest to students of the recent past and film historians: it’s remarkable to see so many camera ‘tricks’ performed at this time, including split screen, backwards filming, montages, fast cutting and more. The title is also intriguing – does it refer to the photographer of the film, or the man with the camera we frequently see?
Dir: Dziga Vertov
THE MAN WITH NINE LIVES
1940
*
A doctor discovers a scientist entombed in ice but still alive; he is thawed out and continues his controversial experiments.
It's a cliche, but they really don't make them like this any more, in any way you can think of. This is highly enjoyable stuff, with Karloff as terrific as usual, an eventful, twisting script, impressive visuals and even some mild moral questions. Look out for the top use of coffee, too.
Dir: Nick Grinde
Stars: Boris Karloff, Roger Pryor, Jo Ann Sayers, Stanley Brown
THE MAN WITH THE GOLDEN GUN
1974
*
James Bond competes with Scaramanga, a world-class assassin, to find a device that will harness the sun's radiation.
A shade better than its predecessor, following Blaxploitation this one moves into the Bruce Lee-inspired martial arts mania and mixes some silliness (the dreadful Sheriff, the sound effects on the corkscrew car stunt, schoolgirl karate experts) with sternness (Bond threatening to break Andrea's arm, Lee as the villain). It's all just a tad flabby though, and the odd technically inept moment, like the model of Moore which clearly is Moore, diminishes it further.
Dir: Guy Hamilton
Stars: Roger Moore, Christopher Lee, Britt Ekland, Maud Adams, Herve Villechaize, Clifton James, Bernard Lee, Lois Maxwell, Desmond Llewelyn
THE MAN WITH THE SEVERED HEAD
1976
0
An injured criminal undergoes a partial brain transplant which turns him into a sadist.
Shonky crime drama with a little horror but not nearly enough – not enough sense, plot or interest either. Naschy’s hardly in it, bizarre dance sequences pad it out and Arrow Video’s 2011 release is terribly dubbed and appears to be cut, making things even more confusing; the DVD includes ‘additional erotic scenes’, which are hysterical. The onscreen title is ‘Crimson’.
Dir: Juan Fortuny
Stars: Paul Naschy, Silvia Solar, Olivier Mathot
THE MAN WITH TWO BRAINS
1984
**
A doctor loves a brain rather than his vivacious money-grabbing wife.
Sprightly and sexy comedy from when Steve Martin was still funny.
Dir: Carl Reiner
Stars: Steve Martin, Kathleen Turner, David Warner
THE MAN WITH TWO HEADS
1972
0
Dr William Jekyll's experiments lead to him becoming a brutal monster.
This is actually one of Milligan's better horror films, one of four he shot in north London, but that doesn't make it any good, of course; endless chatting on small, confined sets, punctuated by violence, is unlikely to hold people's attention for long. But there's something - a tiny, tiny something about Milligan's style, that draws the odd cinephile in (like director Nicolas Winding Refn), and his movies are at least distinct, if not worth paying money for.
Dir: Andy Milligan
Stars: Denis DeMarne, Gay Feld, Jacqueline Lawrence, Gerald Jacuzzo
THE MAN WITHOUT A BODY
1957
0
A dying businessman brings the head of Nostradamus back to life.
Preposterous terribleness that doesn't make any sense.
Dir: Charles Saunders, W Lee Wilder
Stars: Robert Hutton, George Coulouris, Julia Arnall
MANCHESTER BY THE SEA
2016
***
When his brother dies, a troubled man returns to his town to look after his nephew.
A finely crafted drama about the chaos of life, illustrated by characters who struggle to communicate with each other, love-making being interrupted, parked cars that can't be found and more. Superbly acted and crisply edited, it has a very strong sense of place and season and despite its potentially dour subject matter - it's a story about a man who sees no need to properly live any more - is not missing humour or quirkiness.
Dir: Kenneth Lonergan
Stars: Casey Affleck, Michelle Williams, Kyle Chandler, Lucas Hedges, Gretchen Mol, CJ Wilson
THE MANCHURIAN CANDIDATE
1962
***
A former POW is brainwashed into becoming a political assassin.
Sophisticated, mature thriller which sees an unconvincing plot brought to life by the director's gleaming style.
Dir: John Frankenheimer
Stars: Frank Sinatra, Laurence Harvey, Janet Leigh, Angela Lansbury
MANDY
MANHUNT OF MYSTERY ISLAND
1945 (serial)
*
A girl goes after her father who has been abducted by the diabolical Captain Mephisto.
Idiotic but enjoyable serial with a 'guess the villain' mystery and a plethora of brisk punch-ups and crazy cliff-hangers.
Dir: Spencer Bennet, Yakima Canutt, Wallace Grissel
Stars: Richard Bailey, Linda Stirling, Roy Barcroft
MANHUNTER
1985
0
An FBI specialist tracks a gruesome serial killer.
Slow thriller whose capacity to chill is dissipated by its Miami Vice-type sheen.
Dir: Michael Mann
Stars: Brian Cox, William L Petersen, Kim Greist
MANIAC
1934
0
The assistant to a mad doctor kills his employer and continues his crazy experiments.
Insane exploiter that was a 'road show' movie designed to titillate, although the director appeared to think he was also making a serious statement about mental illness. Appalling in every respect of course, but the brew of brief nudity, a cat's eye being eaten, a syringe fight and clips from obscure silent films have given it a long shelf life.
Dir: Dwain Esper
Stars: Bill Woods, Horace Carpenter, Ted Edwards
MANIAC
1980
0
A serial killer who targets young women stalks New York.
Nihilistic low budget horror with some suspense amid the gore.
Dir: William Lustig
Stars: Joe Spinell, Caroline Munro, Kelly Piper
MANIAC COP
1988
0
A man in a New York policeman's uniform goes on a killing spree.
Junky horror with borrowings from others.
Dir: William Lustig
Stars: Bruce Campbell, Tom Atkins, Richard Roundtree
MANIAC COP 2
1990
0
The undead cop returns to victimise his murderers.
Livelier sequel which culminates in an oh so obvious final shot.
Dir: William Lustig
Stars: Robert Davi, Claudia Christian, Bruce Campbell
MANNEQUIN
1986
0
A young man falls in love with a shop dummy that has come to life.
Forlorn attempt at a screwball comedy; never funny, just mind-numbing.
Dir: Michael Gottlieb
Stars: Andrew McCarthy, Kim Cattrall, James Spader
MANON DES SOURCES
1987
***
Sequel to Jean De Florette in which Manon swears revenge on the men responsible for the death of her father.
Enticing and beautifully shot, and once again a huge commercial success in France and abroad.
Dir: Claude Berri
Stars: Yves Montand, Daniel Auteuil, Emmanuelle Beart
MANSFIELD PARK
1999
*
In the early 19th century, a girl is sent to live with a well-off family, but has difficulties fitting in.
A pleasant enough period drama in itself, but not really an adaptation of Austen’s novel – the director is clearly determined to present it from a ‘modern’ standpoint.
Dir: Patricia Rozema
Stars: Frances O’Connor, Jonny Lee Miller, Alessandro Nivola, Harold Pinter, Lindsay Duncan, Embeth Davidtz, Hugh Bonneville, James Purefoy
MANSION OF THE DOOMED
1976
*
A doctor whose daughter has been blinded seeks to find her new eyes from other sources.
A horror film about eyes is likely to be unsettling anyway, but this crackers effort is particularly gruesome, with disturbing scenes of the orb-less victims writhing in a basement prison; it echoes Island Of Lost Souls and foreshadows The Human Centipede, and has a nasty, irreverent streak that means it retains a certain appeal. How the doctor gets away with it for so long is just one of its amusing absurdities.
Dir: Michael Pataki
Stars: Richard Basehart, Gloria Grahame, Trish Stewart, Lance Henriksen
MANSION OF THE LIVING DEAD
1985
0
Four women turn up at a mysteriously deserted hotel.
This Franco slice of madness starts well – the frisky females on holiday idea is titillating and the empty hotel idea full of eerie promise but it inevitably dissolves into aimless rubbish; as ever it’s interesting trying to work out whether the dialogue was bilge originally or whether it’s been mangled in translation. It’s also interesting to note that some of these actresses, still eager to get naked, aren’t quite in the same condition they were ten years’ previously...
Dir: Jess Franco
Stars: Lina Romay, Mabel Escano, Mari Carmen Nieto, Elisa Vela
MANUFACTURING DISSENT: UNCOVERING MICHAEL MOORE
2007
*
Documentary examining the methods of the left-wing filmmaker.
A movie that is considerably more even-handed than any of Michael Moore’s, perhaps to the extent that it lacks real power or driving force. It is nevertheless a welcome dig at a man who appears to be both thuggish and devious, although no one – America’s media, the right, the left, the filmmakers (why do they think they are entitled to an interview with Moore?) – comes out of it particularly well.
Dir: Rick Caine, Debbie Melnyk
MANUMISSION THE MOVIE
1999 (V)
0
Documentary about the hedonistic party lifestyle in Ibiza.
Sometimes inspiring, sometimes fascinating, sometimes dispiriting semi-professional chronicle of drugs, sex and dance, it eventually goes on too long and its superficiality becomes evident.
Dir: Bruce McKenna
Stars: Mike McKay, Claire McKay
THE MANXMAN
1929
*
A man heads to Africa to make his fortune and entrusts his best friend with looking after the woman he plans to marry.
Hitchcock’s last silent film is a curiously absorbing melodrama that is both extremely well photographed and strong on ageless themes; it may be fairly simple but the master skilfully uses his soundless pictures to construct a good story. Actress Ondra is one of the director’s first of his many beautiful blondes.
Dir: Alfred Hitchcock
Stars: Carl Brisson, Malcolm Keen, Anny Ondra
MARATHON MAN
1976
**
A man gets caught up in a stolen diamond conspiracy, leading to his torture from an ex-Nazi.
Solid thriller which delivers tense and violent set pieces, including the infamous dentist's chair scene.
Dir: John Schlesinger
Stars: Dustin Hoffman, Laurence Olivier, Roy Scheider, William Devane
MARCH OF THE PENGUINS
2005
***
Documentary about the arduous process that the Emperor penguin goes through to sire offspring.
Captivating stuff, thanks to the incredible, barely believable ritual of nature that is being observed, plus the fact that the behaviour has actually been captured on film (a special feature on the DVD about the stoic making of it is well worth watching).
Dir: Luc Jacquet
Narrator: Morgan Freeman
MARDI GRAS MASSACRE
1978
0
A maniac sacrifices prostitutes to an Aztec god.
Delightfully dreadful grade-Zer that should only be seen by those intent on viewing all 74 official video nasties or those who enjoy grotty cheapjack tat with a million different faults. Its many inadequacies include identical gory footage being repeated over and over again.
Dir: Jack Weis
Stars: Curt Dawson, Gwen Arment, Bill Metzo
MARIA MARTEN, OR THE MURDER IN THE RED BARN
1935
0
An evil squire kills his young mistress but is found out by a gypsy.
Tod Slaughter's first movie, not among his best (!), a retelling of a murky true story, which begins with the cast being introduced on stage.
Dir: Milton Rosmer
Stars: Tod Slaughter, Sophie Stewart, Eric Portman
MARIUS
1931
**
A young bartender is torn between going to sea and staying in Marseilles to marry his sweetheart.
Rich character comedy that will mean more to some than others; although mostly confined it manages to vividly show life in the sea port, and there are good lines among the masses of dialogue. One wonders whether this Fanny is as worth staying home for as Leslie Caron's in 1961 (qv).
Dir: Alexander Korda
Stars: Raimu, Pierre Fresnay, Fernand Charpin, Orane Demazis
MARJOE
1972
*
Documentary about an evangelist preacher, popular from childhood, who admits that his whole business is a scam.
It’s interesting to note that many years after this film unscrupulous religious vampires are still depriving folk of their hard-earned cash through deceitful showmanship, but we should still be thankful it was made. It retains its power to surprise although some of the preaching sequences go on a bit long and it would have been good to have heard from others besides Marjoe.
Dir: Sarah Kernochan, Howard Smith
Stars: Marjoe Gortner
THE MARK
1961
*
A man who was in prison for courting a minor tries to rebuild his life.
This might have been a daring subject for a film to tackle in 1961 but the trouble is that it doesn't have the courage of its convictions: Whitman's character is way too open, not nearly dark enough to be fascinating or a true threat to daily life (just compare it to the previous year's Never Take Sweets From A Stranger, or perhaps Kubrick's Lolita from the following year). A weirdly international cast doesn't help root it in an identifiable mise-en-scene, further diminishing its effectiveness - it's also a bit too much like hard work, with one tense dialogue-heavy scene after another.
Dir: Guy Green
Stars: Stuart Whitman, Maria Schell, Rod Steiger, Donald Houston
MARK OF THE DEVIL
1969
*
Witch hunters terrorise an old English town.
Similar to the previous year's Witchfinder General, with a greater emphasis on violence and sadism, this shocker has flashes of style.
Dir: Michael Armstrong
Stars: Herbert Lom, Udo Kier, Reggie Nalder
MARK OF THE VAMPIRE
1935
*
Vampires appear to be responsible for the death of a nobleman.
Fair remake of the 1927 Lon Chaney film London After Midnight with agreeably spooky sequences but too much chat. Only an hour long.
Dir: Tod Browning
Stars: Lionel Barrymore, Bela Lugosi, Lionel Atwill, Elizabeth Allan
MARLEY
2012
**
Documentary about the life of reggae superstar Bob Marley.
Detailed, lengthy examination of a genuinely talented musician, it will have Marley fans in heaven. He may have been naive in some of his beliefs but his charisma and impact are undeniable; the film includes looks at his women, political violence in Jamaica, his non-fatal shooting and his sad death (but not much about his lack of appeal to blacks outside his homeland).
Dir: Kevin Macdonald
MARLEY & ME
2008
*
A young couple buys a Labrador puppy that sees them through starting a family.
A must for dog lovers – although they’d have a point saying that the dog should have been considerably better trained by its owners – and a sweet film that charts the passing of time and the importance of companionship; possibly the script might have made a few more pertinent points. Unashamedly sentimental by the end, could one venture that it might have been even more affecting if Marley had been better behaved?
Dir: David Frankel
Stars: Owen Wilson, Jennifer Aniston, Alan Arkin, Eric Dane, Kathleen Turner
MARLOWE
1969
0
Philip Marlowe is hired by a woman to find her missing brother.
Impenetrable, tedious detective drama from the fag end of the 1960s; even Bruce Lee's appearance can't save it.
Dir: Paul Bogart
Stars: James Garner, Gayle Hunnicutt, Bruce Lee
MARNIE
1964
*
A man marries a woman who is a habitual thief and suffers from a fear of sex.
While it may have been a work of personal importance for the director, there can be no denying that this psychodrama is over-fanciful and at times absurd and difficult to take seriously - the plot rarely convinces and the director's tricks (like the red screen flashes) only accentuate the sense of frivolity. Of course it has certain qualities because it's Hitchcock, but they're extremely muted, and what we experience is a largely uninteresting story underscored by cod-Freudian musings, peopled by unattractive characters, particularly the titular female, whose whingeing tones are enough to drive you up the nearest wall. Bernard Herrmann's classy score may well be the best thing about it.
Dir: Alfred Hitchcock
Stars: Tippi Hedren, Sean Connery, Martin Gabel, Diane Baker, Louise Latham, Bruce Dern
MAROC 7
1967
0
An undercover agent follows a fashion photographer to Morocco because he suspects she is involved in an international fraud operation.
Colourful location shooting, beautiful women and a decent cast, but this thriller never succeeds in making the action the slightest bit engaging; it somehow manages to be both bland and convoluted.
Dir: Gerry O’Hara
Stars: Gene Barry, Elsa Martinelli, Leslie Phillips, Cyd Charisse, Denholm Elliott
MARRIAGE OF CONVENIENCE
1960
*
A crook breaks out of jail only to discover that his ex girlfriend has gone off with the money from his robbery.
Fairly typical entry into the Edgar Wallace series which plods along acceptably enough; as ever there are anxious criminals, surly police inspectors, weak women and enough cigarette smoking to give even viewers lung cancer. It was nice to see a good quality seven-volume DVD release of the Wallace films in 2012.
Dir: Clive Donner
Stars: Harry H Corbett, John Cairney, John Van Eyssen
THE MARRIAGE OF MARIA BRAUN
1978
*
A woman believes her soldier husband is dead but he returns home.
A cold, intelligent film that speaks to Germans about their post-war recovery through the character of a woman who will do anything to rebuild her life; it’s certainly well made, and looks authentic, but it sometimes drags and there’s not much to empathise with.
Dir: Rainer Werner Fassbinder
Stars: Hanna Schygulla, Klaus Lowitsch, Ivan Desny
MARRIAGE STORY
2019
**
A couple go through a distressing and expensive divorce.
Refreshingly adult drama with very little sentiment, only an unflinching look at the challenging realities of human relationships (what tear-jerking there is, is well earned). Extremely well written and acted, it is essentially a succession of distinct long-ish scenes, many of which are excellent: although one of the best, the social worker's assessment near the end, is almost like something from another film. It might lack characters as sympathetic as the similar Kramer Vs Kramer, and be a tad overlong, but it's a quality product, with something of the vibe of a premium 1970s movie.
Dir: Noah Baumbach
Stars: Adam Driver, Scarlet Johansson, Laura Dern, Julie Hagerty, Alan Alda, Ray Liotta
MARS ATTACKS!
1996
*
Big-headed aliens arrive to claim the planet.
A homage to 1950s sci-fi thrillers, but on the whole the originals would be preferable; tedious dialogue, overlength and half-hearted character development are supplanted by moments of special effects ingenuity.
Dir: Tim Burton
Stars: Jack Nicholson, Glenn Close, Annette Bening, Pierce Brosnan, Danny DeVito, Michael J Fox, Martin Short, Rod Steiger
MARTHA, MEET FRANK, DANIEL AND LAURENCE
1997
0
Three best friends all fall in love with the same beautiful American girl.
Limp, unsympathetic comedy.
Dir: Nick Hamm
Stars: Monica Potter, Rufus Sewell, Joseph Fiennes, Ray Winstone
THE MARTIAN
2015
**
In the near future, an astronaut is left on Mars by accident and struggles to survive.
One of the director's better recent efforts is a fairly smart sci-fi drama with flaws, not just its irritatingly deliberate 'PG-13' language and obsession with portraying scientists as anything but the gender and race they actually are, but in the fact that it's very long yet still doesn't focus on some of the things you want or expect it to. The starry cast smacks of pomposity too, but it's a strikingly shot and occasionally thrilling movie that once again shows certain Hollywood qualities off to the full.
Dir: Ridley Scott
Stars: Matt Damon, Jeff Daniels, Chiwetel Ejiofor, Jessica Chastain, Kristen Wiig, Kata Mara, Sean Bean, Michael Pena
MARTIN
1977
*
A young man believes he is a vampire and struggles to contain his blood-thirsty urges.
An intelligent and sober take on the vampire genre from Romero, featuring a detached teenager who takes more extreme measures to find sex than most; bracingly different and strongly atmospheric - both in its modern-day Pittsburgh scenes and the black and white flashbacks - it has much to interest the more patient horror fan and has developed a strong following after its initial commercial failure.
Dir: George A Romero
Stars: John Amplas, Lincoln Maazel, Christine Forrest, Tom Savini
THE MARTINS
2001
0
A layabout from a horrible family steals winning lottery tickets.
Depressing tale of foul-mouthed low life.
Dir: Tony Grounds
Stars: Lee Evans, Kathy Burke, Linda Bassett, Frank Finlay, Paddy Considine
MARTY
1955
***
A lonely middle-aged butcher struggles to find love.
Fresh, small scale drama with a keen ear for dialogue, its characters' mannerisms have been imitated in countless films since, hence dulling the original's impact; still, a seminal film.
Dir: Delbert Mann
Stars: Ernest Borgnine, Betsy Blair, Esther Minciotti
MARY
1931
*
A juror starts to believe that the woman he has helped condemn to death is innocent.
Hitchcock's German language version of his Murder! (qv) isn't as effective; it's shorter but bogged down by clunky dialogue sequences, mouthed by actors just out of the silent era. It should still be watched - because it's Hitch - but the original is preferable.
Dir: Alfred Hitchcock
Stars: Alfred Abel, Olga Tschechowa, Paul Graetz
MARY AND MAX
2009
*
A lonely Australian girl and a male New Yorker with Asperger’s form an unlikely relationship through letters.
Claymation taken to darker places than it has ever been before: a melancholy drama that’s done with some astuteness, but a little too long, and sometimes uninvolving. Wallace and Gromit are more fun.
Dir: Adam Elliot
Narrator: Barry Humphries. Stars: Toni Collette, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Eric Bana
MARY MILLINGTON’S TRUE BLUE CONFESSIONS
1980
0
A 'tribute' to the sex film star, featuring interviews and archive footage.
The stench of necrophilia is in the air here, and this ultra cheap film is full of bizarre oddities that sink the late star even further into the mire than she did herself in her lifetime. A certain rawness of spirit, and its brevity, make it viewable.
Dir: Nick Galtress
Stars: Mary Millington, John M East, David Sullivan
MARY MILLINGTON’S WORLD STRIPTEASE EXTRAVAGANZA
1981
0
Strippers compete in a contest in London hosted by a comedian.
Very strange tat purporting to be a documentary about a stripping competition. Mary Millington appears once in a short clip; the rest is lamentable disrobing routines punctuated by embarrassing stand-up from Winters.
Dir: Roy Deverell
Stars: Mary Millington, John M East, Bernie Winters, Gloria Brittain, Julie Lee
MARY POPPINS
1964
**
A magical nanny goes to work for a cold banker's unhappy family.
A cheerful entertainment that goes on a little too long, is studio-bound and has somewhat dated special effects, but when a film is so tuneful and so intent on lifting the spirits it seems slightly churlish to criticise it. Bereft of a proper plot, it essentially jumps from one fantasy set-piece to another and from one song to another - how favourably the viewer responds to them will make their judgement of the movie.
Dir: Robert Stevenson
Stars: Julie Andrews, Dick Van Dyke, David Tomlinson, Glynis Johns
MARY POPPINS RETURNS
2018
**
Mary Poppins once again helps the Banks family, who are in financial trouble.
This follow-up does not disappoint: it's just as good-natured, wholesome and ebullient as the original, and of course technically it's far superior. Rarely less than pleasing family entertainment, most of the songs are fine, as is Blunt in the lead role, and everyone else involved in the production clearly had an understanding of its predecessor's qualities; this might too become a Christmas TV perennial.
Dir: Rob Marshall
Stars: Emily Blunt, Lin-Manuel Miranda, Ben Whishaw, Emily Mortimer, Colin Firth, Dick Van Dyke, Angela Lansbury
MARY SHELLEY’S FRANKENSTEIN
1994
*
Victor Frankenstein builds a monster that later turns on him.
A well-told yarn with moments of magic, surprisingly straight-laced and traditional. Neither the classic nor disaster that might have been expected.
Dir: Kenneth Branagh
Stars: Robert De Niro, Kenneth Branagh, Tom Hulce, Helena Bonham Carter, Aidan Quinn, Ian Holm, Richard Briers, John Cleese, Robert Hardy
MASH
1970
**
Surgeons at an army hospital during the Korean War amuse themselves with practical jokes.
Weird, episodic, random, blasphemous, misogynistic farce which was like nothing before it and ushered in the dubious attributes of overlapping dialogue, improvisation and documentary-like camerawork; there is much that’s good about it but the ultimate entertainment experience it is not, with the final football game in particular struggling to hold the attention.
Dir: Robert Altman
Stars: Donald Sutherland, Elliott Gould, Tom Skerritt, Sally Kellerman, Robert Duvall
THE MASK
1961
*
A man experiences terrifying visions when he dons an ancient mask.
Like the scrawny bastard son of Hitchcock’s Spellbound, and also an unsubtle allegory of drug abuse, this gimmicky shocker comes into its own in its bizarre 3D hallucination sequences – when they’re not on it’s a functional, basic piece with people standing around talking on small sets. All the budget must have gone on that 3D technology.
Dir: Julian Roffman
Stars: Paul Stevens, Claudette Nevins, Bill Walker
MASK
1986
**
A boy with severe facial deformities plans to go round the world to give him something to look forward to.
A sort of modern-day version of The Elephant Man, both involving and touching.
Dir: Peter Bogdanovich
Stars: Cher, Eric Stoltz, Sam Elliott, Laura Dern
THE MASK
1994
***
A bank clerk is transformed into a manic superhero by donning a strange mask.
Hard-to-resist hokum with lively special effects, a fun script and a star rapidly securing a splendid, top-billed career (and there's a great debut from Diaz too): it's Carrey's moments as The Mask that are the most sublime, encapsulating his pop culture-fused manic energy, but his non-Mask stuff ain't bad either. Slightly too nasty villains and a director who isn't the equal of his star are its only downsides.
Dir: Chuck Russell
Stars: Jim Carrey, Cameron Diaz, Peter Riegert, Peter Greene
THE MASK OF FU MANCHU
1932
*
Fu Manchu seeks an artefact from Ghengis Khan's tomb to help him rule the world.
Lusty horror comic, now a little worn around the edges, with a cracking lead performance.
Dir: Charles Brabin
Stars: Boris Karloff, Lewis Stone, Myrna Loy
THE MASKS OF DEATH
1984 (TV)
*
Sherlock Holmes comes out of retirement to solve some more murders.
Faintly disappointing return to the role for Cushing; the plot is thin while the script is flabby.
Dir: Roy Ward Baker
Stars: Peter Cushing, John Mills, Anne Baxter, Ray Milland, Anton Diffring, Gordon Jackson
THE MASQUE OF THE RED DEATH
1964
*
A prince terrorises the locals from his mysterious castle.
Languid, intelligent horror benefiting from Nicolas Roeg's superb photography and the multi-coloured, imaginative set design. The story is not so hot. It's very thin, hardly a driving narrative at all, and most of Corman's other Poe films are more conventionally entertaining.
Dir: Roger Corman
Stars: Vincent Price, Hazel Court, Jane Asher, Nigel Green, Patrick Magee
MASQUERADE
1987
*
A young heiress is in danger of being killed for her money.
Slackly handled semi-remake of Suspicion, badly miscast, but watchable.
Dir: Bob Swain
Stars: Rob Lowe, Meg Tilly, Kim Cattrall, Doug Savant
MASSACRE IN DINOSAUR VALLEY
1985
0
A group of people crash-land in a jungle full of perils.
Likeably bad exploitation item, a sort of X-rated Romancing The Stone, possibly made up as they went along. It was retitled Cannibal Ferox 2, but there's actually very little cannibal action, thereby disappointing a whole new audience (but trash film fans, or those of Carvalho, should be serensified).
Dir: Michele Massimo Tarantini
Stars: Michael Sopkiw, Suzane Carvalho, Milton Rodriguez
MASSACRE MAFIA STYLE
1974
0
A Sicilian gangster causes trouble in LA.
The director/star obviously thought he was making something akin to The Godfather, but amateurish acting and hilariously unconvincing violence are just two things that ensure this atrocious film can't be taken seriously. Would-be profound monologues don't help either, but its immortality is (sort of) assured by the fact it appeared on the British video nasties list, albeit only in section three.
Dir: Duke Mitchell
Stars: Duke Mitchell, Vic Caesar, Lorenzo Dodo
THE MASTER
2012
*
A hot-headed Naval veteran takes up with the leader of a strange cult.
There's much to admire about the way this drama is shot and acted but what does it all mean, what does it amount to? Not much. Essentially a film about angry people who aren't very nice, it doesn't really examine the Scientology-like cult it features and has any amount of pregnant pauses - we're presumably meant to fill them in with meaning. Good bits, but frustratingly hollow overall.
Dir: Paul Thomas Anderson
Stars: Joaquin Phoenix, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Amy Adams, Laura Dern
MASTER AND COMMANDER: THE FAR SIDE OF THE WORLD
2003
**
During the Napoleonic wars, a British naval commander follows a French vessel to the Galapagos islands.
Mostly a film about what life at sea was like in those days, partly a spectacular action epic (though this section of it is quite brief), this is a very well made, impressively performed epic that should be applauded for its generally positive demeanour; for non-seafarers, though, it may not hold the attention for all of its running time.
Dir: Peter Weir
Stars: Russell Crowe, Paul Bettany, Billy Boyd, James D'Arcy
MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE
1987
0
He-Man battles Skeletor and his vile minions.
Big bucks sci-fi based on the kiddie franchise; noisy, brash, colourful and fast moving, with an amusingly awful lead, its only appreciative audience is likely to be the extremely young.
Dir: Gary Goddard
Stars: Dolph Lundgren, Frank Langella, Meg Foster, Billy Barty, Courteney Cox
MASTERS OF VENUS
1962 (serial)
*
Two children accidentally end up on a rocketship to Venus.
This eight-part Children Film's Foundation serial is a bit like the Famous Five in space, but with a minor anti-prejudice message on hand; much of it is a bland runaround but the final episode conjures up some suspense thanks to a novel turn of events, and the whole thing will be as warming to some as jam on toast on a cold winter's night. Some of the Venusians' fashions are quite fetching.
Dir: Ernest Morris
Stars: Norman Wooland, Robin Stewart, Robin Hunter, Ferdy Mayne
MATCHSTICK MEN
2003
0
A con man with OCD encounters problems when his teenage daughter re-enters his life.
Anyone who’s seen a few con artist movies (eg House Of Games, Nine Queens) will guess what’s going on half an hour into this wild misfire, but even if it wasn’t for the unbelievably obvious twist it’d still be deeply irritating thanks to the star twitching his way through his role – rather like the director and his irksome visual twitches – his oily sidekick and the equally annoying Angela character. It also basks in absurdities like how a person like Waller could ever be a con artist and conversely how he could also be so gullible. It can’t decide how much it wants to be a human drama about families and how much it wants to be a thriller, and ends up being yet another dud from this director.
Dir: Ridley Scott
Stars: Nicolas Cage, Sam Rockwell, Alison Lohman, Bruce Altman
MATINEE
1993
*
A small-time film promoter releases a bad sci-fi film at the time of the Cuban Missile Crisis.
Canny, original, humorous drama with a keen eye for the times it snapshots.
Dir: Joe Dante
Stars: John Goodman, Cathy Moriarty, Simon Fenton
MATT HELM
1975 (TV)
0
A private investigator is hired to protect a beautiful film star and gets involved with gun runners.
TV spy adventure, mostly Dullsville.
Dir: Buzz Kulik
Stars: Anthony Franciosa, Ann Turkel, Patrick Macnee
A MATTER OF LIFE AND DEATH
1946
***
A World War 2 pilot who cheats death must argue for his life before a heavenly court.
Towering fantasy which has retained its freshness thanks to its sublime audacity, specifically its insane, bold plot and its surfeit of astonishing images (it’s also a great film for actors’ faces); technically it is an immense achievement and the script has great wit and astute intellectual musings on the likes of nationality, love and existence.
Dir: Michael Powell, Emeric Pressburger
Stars: David Niven, Roger Livesey, Kim Hunter, Raymond Massey, Marius Goring, Richard Attenborough
MAUSOLEUM
1983
0
A woman appears to be possessed by the same demon that plagued her mother.
Deeply tacky horror that's as grisly as it is dumb.
Dir: Michael Dugan
Stars: Bobbie Bresee, Marjoe Gortner, Norman Burton
MAX HEADROOM
1984 (TV)
**
In the near future, a TV reporter investigates stories along with a computer version of himself.
Impressive sci-fi executed with a good deal of invention and imagination, it led to a TV series that was something completely different.
Dir: Annabel Jankel, Rocky Morton
Stars: Matt Frewer, Nickolas Grace, Hilary Tindall
MAXIE
1986
0
The ghost of a tortured would-be film star takes over the body of a young woman.
Forgettable comedy which barely even tries to be funny.
Dir: Paul Aaron
Stars: Glenn Close, Many Patinkin, Ruth Gordon
MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE
1986
0
Machines come alive and kill humans.
Derivative thriller with some well staged action sequences, King's only attempt at directing his own material.
Dir: Stephen King
Stars: Emilio Estevez, Pat Hingle, Yeardley Smith
MAYBE BABY
2000
0
A couple struggle to have a baby, while the writer husband attempts to turn their turmoil into a screenplay.
Ben Elton's comedy drama worked a lot better on the printed page - the movie just seems like a minor, pallid cousin of Richard Curtis hits (which can be pretty hideous in themselves).
Dir: Ben Elton
Stars: Joely Richardson, Hugh Laurie, Joanna Lumley, Emma Thompson, Rowan Atkinson
THE MAZE
1953
0
A man appears to prematurely age when he visits his uncle's mysterious castle in the Scottish Highlands.
Silly and verbose horror.
Dir: William Cameron Menzies
Stars: Richard Carlson, Veronica Hurst, Katherine Emery
MAZES AND MONSTERS
1983 (TV)
0
A board game comes to life with terrifying results.
Soapy and soppy fantasy which appears to be based on the Dungeons And Dragons game and then made up as they went along.
Dir: Steven Hilliard Stern
Stars: Tom Hanks, Wendy Crewson, David Wallace, Vera Miles
McQUEEN
2018
**
Documentary about fashion designer Alexander McQueen, who found enormous success but took his own life aged 40.
A penetrating peer into a world that is barely known to most of us, that of high-end fashion, and you can never quite decide whether these people are ridiculous and deluded, or are part of a proper artistic movement. Let's be generous and go with the latter, but this film does not really get under the skin of McQueen, and many of the revelations about him - that he was HIV positive, addicted to cocaine, had liposuction, was fixated with his mother - are casually mentioned then tossed away. Still, it's a different, novel experience and never boring.
Dir: Ian Bonhôte, Peter Ettedgui
McVICAR
1980
0
Biopic of John McVicar, an armed robber who went to jail but eventually reformed.
Rough and ready drama based on fact, determined to present the most seamy aspects of prison life while failing to show much of the most remarkable part of McVicar's life (he went on to become a writer).
Dir: Tom Clegg
Stars: Roger Daltrey, Adam Faith, Cheryl Campbell, Steven Berkoff
ME AND MY PAL
1933
*
Ollie misses his wedding thanks to Stan bringing a jigsaw puzzle around.
Short notable more for some priceless snippets of surreal dialogue (Stan's thoughts on the motion picture industry, 'Prosperity is just around the corner' etc) than its storyline, which is not especially varied.
Dir: Lloyd French, Charley Rogers
Stars: Stan Laurel, Oliver Hardy, James Finlayson, Charlie Hall
ME, MYSELF & IRENE
2000
0
A cop with a multiple personality disorder must protect a woman on the run from her ex-boyfriend.
Proof positive that the Farrelly brothers are not filmmakers - pacing, length and mood are all wrong, but those up for it might find the odd inspired moment stuck in the foul-mouthed, vulgar, boring sludge.
Dir: Bobby Farrelly, Peter Farrelly
Stars: Jim Carrey, Renee Zellweger, Chris Cooper, Robert Forster
ME MYSELF I
1999
**
A lonely woman thinks about a decision she made in the past, and is somehow transported back to those days.
Clever, likeable fantasy comedy with some smart things to say about love and life.
Dir: Pip Karmel
Stars: Rachel Griffiths, David Roberts, Sandy Winton
MEAN CREEK
2005
**
A group of friends lure a bully into the woods to give him a comeuppance.
Interesting drama of youthful misdemeanour which peaks dramatically half way through, but convincingly portrays the behaviour of the young and their moral tussles.
Dir: Jacob Aaron Estes
Stars: Rory Culkin, Ryan Kelly, Scott Mechlowicz, Carly Schroeder
MEAN STREETS
1973
***
A small-time hood tries to survive the tough streets of Little Italy.
Superbly made slice of low life drama, convincingly acted and imaginatively scored.
Dir: Martin Scorsese
Stars: Robert De Niro, Harvey Keitel, David Proval
MEAT LOAF: TO HELL AND BACK
2000 (TV)
*
Biopic of one of the greatest rock stars of his era, Meat Loaf.
One of those sanitised made-for-television rock biographies with floppy production values and less than strict adherence to the truth (while being careful not to libel anyone); at least it uses the terrific original music and like many of its ilk is something of a guilty pleasure, an easily digestible trifle for fans. The lead gives a decent performance but the script paints Meat a little more sour than the man really is.
Dir: Jim McBride
Stars: W Earl Brown, Dedee Pfeiffer, Zachary Throne
MEDIUM COOL
1969
**
A TV cameraman finds himself involved in political violence.
Sharp, unusual social study, a useful chronicle of its time.
Dir: Haskell Wexler
Stars: Robert Forster, Verna Bloom, Peter Bonerz
THE MEDUSA TOUCH
1978
**
A man has the power to create natural disasters.
A refined cast - not to mention well-dressed extras - lend this supernatural thriller a bit of quality, but a lot of the good work is undone by an awkward structure and choppy narrative that marries police procedural, numerous flashbacks and large-scale set pieces, and thus runs into difficulties. But it has its moments and is a little different to most.
Dir: Jack Gold
Stars: Richard Burton, Lino Ventura, Lee Remick, Harry Andrews, Jeremy Brett, Gordon Jackson, Derek Jacobi
MEET ME IN ST LOUIS
1944
**
At the start of the 20th century, a family fear that they may have to move out of their beloved St Louis.
Sweet-as-candy, brightly coloured small-town tale that eventually buys into your affections; it plays especially well at Christmas.
Dir: Vincente Minnelli
Stars: Judy Garland, Margaret O’Brien, Mary Astor, Lucille Bremer
MEET MR LUCIFER
1953
0
A television set causes misery in whatever home it is put in.
Weak comedy which fights a losing battle in its attempts to satirise television, and flags after just a few minutes.
Dir: Anthony Pelissier
Stars: Stanley Holloway, Peggy Cummins, Jack Watling, Gordon Jackson, Ernest Thesiger, Ian Carmichael
MEET THE APPLEGATES
1990
0
Giant praying mantis disguise themselves as a normal suburban family.
Underwhelming satire which soon runs out of steam.
Dir: Michael Lehmann
Stars: Ed Begley Jr, Stockard Channing, Dabney Coleman
MEET THE FEEBLES
1989
0
Incest, drug abusive and sexual diseases behind the scenes of a show.
One of the more repugnant and offensive films ever made, a disgusting, nauseating and vile puppet show.
Dir: Peter Jackson
Voices: Donna Akersten, Stuart Devenie
MEET THE PARENTS
2000
**
Nurse Greg Focker meets his girlfriend's intimidating parents.
Funny, well crafted comedy that not surprisingly proved to be a popular date movie.
Dir: Jay Roach
Stars: Ben Stiller, Robert De Niro, Teri Polo, Blythe Danner, Owen Wilson
MEGAFORCE
1982
0
A team of bikers are called on whenever freedom is threatened.
Extremely lightweight sci-fi that deservedly bombed at the box office.
Dir: Hal Needham
Stars: Barry Bostwick, Michael Beck, Persis Khambatta
MELANCHOLIA
2011
***
As a rogue planet is about to collide with Earth, two sisters struggle with their own personal issues.
The less generous might say this is slow-moving, pretentious guff, but the more generous might claim it’s a feast for the eyes and the mind, even though it’s often difficult to discern the meaning of various occurrences. What can be ascertained is that the approaching planet, Melancholia, is a metaphor for death – whatever we do, it is inescapable – and the Dunst character, who because of her depression, cannot cope with the fanfare of her wedding, which is, essentially, something meaningless, is more assured as the end of all life on Earth approaches. It certainly captures the atmosphere of a heady wedding party, as well as the sense of impending doom later on, so richly in fact, that in memory it almost feels like you were there. Not a movie for the crowds, of course, but one that will likely still being written about 100 years from now; those essays may be as engrossing to read as intelligent discourses on it now are.
Dir: Lars von Trier
Stars: Kirsten Dunst, Charlotte Gainsbourg, Kiefer Sutherland, Alexander Skarsgard, Charlotte Rampling, John Hurt, Udo Kier, Stellan Skarsgard
MELODY
1971
**
Two schoolchildren plan to get married despite their tender years.
Quite a unique little movie with rich credits - it was written by Alan Parker, produced by David Puttman and reunites the two young stars of Oliver!, and it’s a minor tragedy that there was no place for any of their remembrances on the 2010 DVD release. The film effortlessly gets under the skin of childhood through its naturalistic approach and child-centric viewpoint, has an idyllic soundtrack by the Bee Gees and is full of lovely little touches and details; it also bountifully shows off a south London that was about to descend into a much less happy state.
Dir: Waris Hussein
Stars: Mark Lester, Jack Wild, Tracy Hyde, James Cossins, Roy Kinnear
MEMENTO
2000
***
A man who suffers from short-term memory loss uses notes and tattoos to track down the man he thinks killed his wife.
A deliberately perplexing film and also an original and intriguing one. It was perfect for DVD, which was making its grand entrance around this time (the extras included the film 'in the right order').
Dir: Christopher Nolan
Stars: Guy Pearce, Carrie-Anne Moss, Joe Pantoliano
MEMOIRS OF A SURVIVOR
1981
0
In a future ruined Britain, a woman dreams of escape to a better place.
One of the more depressing films to be released in Britain, this dystopian drama to its credit successfully creates a bleak and chilling atmosphere thanks to its scenes of desolate, wintry streets and brooding score; but it's an inert and pretentious effort, boring and perplexing, and a salient example of how the British film industry seemed intent on destroying itself in the 1980s.
Dir: David Gladwell
Stars: Julie Christie, Leonie Mellinger, Christopher Guard
MEMOIRS OF AN INVISIBLE MAN
1992
*
After a freak accident, a businessman becomes invisible and goes on the run from the CIA.
Those who have read the excellent, highly detailed book will be disappointed by this adaptation which boasts fine special effects but simplifies the story and has the wrong actor in the lead role.
Dir: John Carpenter
Stars: Chevy Chase, Daryl Hannah, Sam Neill, Michael McKean
MEMORIES OF MURDER
2003
**
Detectives go on the trail of a serial rapist and murderer.
One of the better and more internationally successful Korean films, a based-on-fact police procedural with a little extra, and lots of good individual scenes. The ending may annoy those looking for a neat resolution but it's not without its piquancy.
Dir: Bong Joon Ho
Stars: Kang ho-Song, Kwang-rim Kim, Roe-ha Kim
MEMORY LANE
2011
0
A man goes back in time, via electric shocks in a bath, to solve the mystery of his girlfriend's death.
A sci-fi drama apparently made for just $300 - with $286 going on the catering! - this could be the first film of a director who goes on to much better things with a proper budget. Here he masks his lack of money with some style, although the non-linear narrative, handheld camerawork and air of woozy opaqueness leads to some confusion in understanding the telling. Still, there are some inventive ideas and it's remarkable considering the absence of cash behind it.
Dir: Shawn Holmes
Stars: Michael Guy Allen, Meg Barrick, Julian Curi
MEMPHIS BELLE
1990
*
Adventures of a World War 2 bomber aircraft.
Old fashioned war picture which creates a feeling of empathy with the characters as they indulge in their camaraderie.
Dir: Michael Caton-Jones
Stars: Matthew Modine, Eric Stoltz, Billy Zane, Sean Astin, John Lithgow, Jane Horrocks
MEN OF RESPECT
1991
*
A mobster murders his way to the head of his family after being told it is his destiny.
There's fun in seeing how the filmmakers 're-do' the Macbeth scenes, but the plot is perhaps adhered to too rigidly, and the production would have benefited from a classier look and star quality.
Dir: William Reilly
Stars: John Turturro, Katherine Borowitz, Peter Boyle, Rod Steiger
THE MEN OF SHERWOOD FOREST
1954
*
Robin Hood helps save the king.
Hammer's first film in colour and also the first of their three Robin Hood movies, this is a tolerable small-scale romp for juniors, with the best role going to a quite camp Beckwith as a tricksy Friar Tuck. The lead actor went on to direct films like Damien: Omen II and The Final Countdown.
Dir: Val Guest
Stars: Don Taylor, Reginald Beckwith, Eileen Moore, Douglas Wilmer
MEN O’WAR
1929
***
Stan and Ollie, as sailors, flirt with two girls in the park.
Shot entirely on location, this delightful short offers three routines: the saucy bloomers misunderstanding, the soda purchases (the highlight) and the fight on the lake, the latter two garnished by Finlayson's frequent, and hilarious, double-takes. The onscreen title on some prints reads 'Man O'War'.
Dir: Lewis R Foster
Stars: Stan Laurel, Oliver Hardy, James Finlayson, Charlie Hall
MESA OF LOST WOMEN
1959
0
A mad scientist in Mexico creates giant spiders and dwarves in his lab.
Cheesy B-movie that's a mind-blowing experience: pay particular attention to the female 'actresses' and the hypnotised doctor, and listen in wonder to the narration and insistent score rumbling on and on.
Dir: Ron Ormond, Herbert Tevos
Stars: Jackie Coogan, Allan Nixon, Lyle Talbot
THE MESSAGE
1976
**
The story of the prophet Muhammed, whose claims created the religion of Islam.
As a movie this is surprisingly enjoyable, a watchable biblical epic with good production values, decent acting and well done battle scenes. In other ways it's laughable, not so much for the way it sides with the fantasists, making the 'unbelievers' the villains, but in its soft soap treatment of a religion that has never been associated with peace or civilised treatment of so many human beings. By all means watch this, but then perhaps read the chapter on the Koran in Christopher Hitchens' masterwork God Is Not Great.
Dir: Moustapha Akkad
Stars: Anthony Quinn, Irene Papas, Michael Ansara, Johnny Seka
MESSAGE FROM SPACE
1978
0
Pilots are given special messages to fight evil invaders.
Inept Star Wars rip-off from the East.
Dir: Kinji Fukasaku
Stars: Sonny Chiba, Jerry Ito, Vic Morrow
METAMORPHOSIS
1988
0
An aging actress takes a serum she hopes will make her young again but instead it turns into a bug-eyed alien.
Home movie-like horror, hilariously abysmal on every level, one of the worst films ever made.
Dir: Kenneth J Hall, Ted Newsom
Stars: Bobbie Bresee, Richard Harrison, Gordon Mitchell
METEOR
1979
0
Scientists desperately try to stop an approaching meteor from destroying the Earth.
An expensive flop: no wonder, as it consists of old movie stars standing around talking about something terrible that might soon happen to Earth.
Dir: Ronald Neame
Stars: Sean Connery, Natalie Wood, Karl Malden, Martin Landau, Trevor Howard, Henry Fonda
METROPOLIS
1926
***
In a divided future, two people from each side fall in love.
Wondrous sci-fi masterwork that has retained its cutting edge for over 80 years, despite being presented in an amazing nine different cuts with different running times - the 1984 Giorgio Moroder version, which runs 83 minutes, probably remains the most accessible.
Dir: Fritz Lang
Stars: Alfred Abel, Gustav Frohlich, Brigitte Helm
MICHAEL & ME
2004
*
Documentary promoting gun ownership in the USA.
Quite different to Michael Moore Hates America and Manufacturing Dissent (both qv), this somewhat mischievously hangs its premise on a tiny, snatched interview with Michael Moore - most of it is a film shouting about the second amendment, but for a British viewer it never begins to convince: how could widespread gun ownership ever be seen as a good thing? It lacks the sharp editing of Moore's movies and the animated sequence comes across as desperation, putting words into Elder's adversary's mouth.
Dir/Stars: Larry Elder
MICHAEL CLAYTON
2007
*
A law firm has its 'fixer' remedy the bad situation created by a lawyer representing a dubious pharmaceutical company who has a breakdown.
Hard, cold and angry corporate drama that achieves what it sets out to do; consequently it's a film that inspires very little affection.
Dir: Tony Gilroy
Stars: George Clooney, Tom Wilkinson, Tilda Swinton, Sydney Pollack
MICHAEL MOORE HATES AMERICA
2004
*
Documentary assessing whether director and activist Moore uses fair methods.
The first of the anti-Moore docs (Manufacturing Dissent, qv, is the other) and probably the better of the two, it strongly emphasises that the ends do not justify the means and that the denial of complexity is a transgression. It hits a few easy targets (eg the fat man’s disingenuousness), is a little too cloying US-style for non-Americans, tries awfully hard to be balanced and likeable and generally makes for agreeable, gently probing viewing; ideal indeed for YouTube, where the whole film has been posted.
Dir: Michael Wilson
Stars: Michael Wilson, Michael Moore, Penn Jillette, Albert Maysles
MICKEY’S CHRISTMAS CAROL
1983
****
Scrooge McDuck is visited by ghosts on Christmas Eve and changes his mean ways.
Delightful cartoon short reminiscent of the very best of old Disney.
Dir: Burney Mattinson
Voices: Alan Young, Wayne Allwine
MICROCOSMOS
1996
*
Documentary featuring close-up photography of the insect world.
As remarkably shot as this is, audiences have been spoiled in recent years by stunning nature programmes, so its impact is lessened; it also would have benefited from proper narration.
Dir: Calude Nuridsany, Marie Perennou
Narrator: Kristin Scott Thomas
MIDNIGHT
1982
0
A teenage runaway comes across killers.
Dreary and incompetent horror that starts like a domestic drama and later goes a bit Texas Chainsaw Massacre, sometimes scored by completely inappropriate music. Tierney is the only minor redeeming feature of this tiresome mess.
Dir: John Russo
Stars: Melanie Verlin, Lawrence Tierney, John Hall
MIDNIGHT AT MADAME TUSSAUD'S
1936
0
A man accepts a bet to spend the night in the Chamber of Horrors.
Not nearly as alluring as the title suggests, this is a minor drama mainly about fraudsters; Madame Tussaud's features at the start - in what's basically an advert for the waxworks - and at the end, in some moderately creepy scenes. It's interesting from a historical point of view, seeing the likes of Hitler and Stalin in the attraction, but the script is not remarkable, and quite talk-heavy.
Dir: George Pearson
Stars: James Carew, Charles Oliver, Lucille Lisle, William Hartnell
MIDNIGHT COWBOY
1969
****
A country boy comes to the city to become a male prostitute.
Brilliantly made wallow in the underbelly of grim city existence, an unlovely hymn to desperation that has retained its vitality, if not seen it increase. The lead performances are superb, the camerawork and editing innovative and exciting, the soundtrack peerless and the dialogue perfect - it's a cinematic experience to be treasured, and the only film given an American 'X' that won the Best Film Oscar.
Dir: John Schlesinger
Stars: Dustin Hoffman, Jon Voight, Sylvia Miles, Brenda Vaccaro
MIDNIGHT EXPRESS
1978
***
A man caught smuggling drugs is thrown into a Turkish hell-hole prison.
Relentless, searing tale of one man's descent into the abyss, with the viewer sucked into its horrific world.
Dir: Alan Parker
Stars: Brad Davis, Bo Hopkins, Randy Quaid, John Hurt, Irene Miracle
MIDNIGHT LACE
1960
0
A woman is threatened by a mysterious new neighbour.
Daft, overlong and unoriginal thriller in which the glamour of the enterprise damps any potential suspense or sense of threat.
Dir: David Miller
Stars: Doris Day, Rex Harrison, John Gavin, Myrna Loy, Roddy McDowall
THE MIDNIGHT PATROL
1933
*
Stan and Ollie are inept policeman who investigate what appears to be a house break-in.
Made around their best period, this short is somewhat laborious for much of its length but culminates in some great slapstick - concluding with the boys getting shot!
Dir: Lloyd French
Stars: Stan Laurel, Oliver Hardy, Frank Terry, Charlie Hall, Tiny Sandford
MIDSOMMAR
2019
**
A group of friends travel to Sweden for a strange festival that turns ugly.
This is a mood piece, which probably explains its vast length - the makers would argue it is necessary - but patience is required, and most of the characters under-developed. While visually it's super (virtually all of it is shot in the light; there are numerous Steadicam shots of verdant landscapes) and it springs disturbing surprises, there is little doubt about what we are heading for: a reveal that shows that this cult is not too pleasant. It's certainly something to experience, but it just takes too darn long to get to its gruesome finale; acid heads may debate whether it's a trip safe enough to take.
Dir: Ari Aster
Stars: Florence Pugh, Jack Reynor, Vilhelm Blomgren
A MIDSUMMER NIGHT’S DREAM
1935
***
In a Greek wood, fairies help young lovers come together.
The visuals may not appear as glittering as they once did, but this is generally wonderful stuff and often uproariously funny. Cagney's Bottom, as they say, is one to be cherished.
Dir: William Dieterle, Max Reinhardt
Stars: James Cagney, Joe E Brown, Dick Powell, Mickey Rooney, Olivia de Havilland
A MIDSUMMER NIGHT’S DREAM
1968
*
The course of love does not run smooth in a forest in Athens.
Hall films a faithful version of Shakespeare's frankly weird play, and it feels quite 'earthy', without being overly amateurish; a fine young cast give it energy and speak the text well.
Dir: Peter Hall
Stars: Derek Godfrey, Barbara Jefford, David Warner, Judi Dench, Helen Mirren, Diana Rigg, Michael Jayston, Paul Rogers
A MIDSUMMER NIGHT’S DREAM
1996
0
A small boy dreams the play.
The heart quickly sinks on realising this is little more than a stage production being filmed and you’re soon longing for location shooting, actors who look like film stars and general cinematic gloss – light bulbs do not a magic wood make. The use of the boy is also irritating and pointless.
Dir: Adrian Noble
Stars: Lindsay Duncan, Alex Jennings, Desmond Barrit
A MIDSUMMER NIGHT’S DREAM
1999
**
The play set in 19th century Italy.
Sprightly and good-humoured version in which an attractive cast perform with alacrity in luscious vistas: everything comes together in pleasing fashion, as in the play itself. Music from the masters is a nice touch too.
Dir: Michael Hoffman
Stars: Kevin Kline, Michelle Pfeiffer, Rupert Everett, Stanley Tucci, Calista Flockhart, Anna Friel, Christian Bale, Dominic West, Sophie Marceau
MIGHTY JOE YOUNG
1949
**
A giant gorilla goes to Hollywood but runs amok.
Enjoyable King Kong retread which tugs the odd heart string while also knocking out some excellent stop motion effects.
Dir: Ernest B Schoedsack
Stars: Terry Moore, Ben Johnson, Robert Armstrong
THE MIGHTY PEKING MAN
1977
0
A giant ape is brought back to Hong Kong, along with the female Tarzan-like lady who is friends with it.
Quite the dumbest movie, a cut-price, crazy Asian mash-up of King Kong and Tarzan (or, if you like, Sheena), whose crimes include terrible back projection and slow-motion running scenes set to mushy music. It’s not intolerable thanks to the super sexy Kraft, whose left breast is continually on the verge of popping out, and the hilarity of a man in a bad ape costume, but it’s a long way from anything resembling quality. It finishes with the ape atop a tall building being shot at – who’d have thunk it?
Dir: Meng Hua Ho
Stars: Evelyne Kraft, Danny Lee, Feng Ku, Wei Tu Lin
MIKE HAMMER: MURDER TAKES ALL
1989 (TV)
0
Mike Hammer investigates a murder in Las Vegas.
Standard Mickey Spillane intricacies, well enough done for fans of this kind of thing. Jim Carrey is the main reason to watch nowadays.
Dir: John Nicolella
Stars: Stacy Keach, Lynda Carter, Lindsay Bloom, Jim Carrey
MILDRED PIERCE
1945
**
A woman separated from her husband starts a restaurant business to provide for her daughters... but tragedy is around the corner.
A 'woman's picture' of its day that remains solid viewing today - the multi-professionalism still shines through and the story keeps the attention until the end.
Dir: Michael Curtiz
Stars: Joan Crawford, Jack Carson, Zachary Scott, Eve Arden
MILK
2008
**
The last years of San Franciscan political gay activist Harvey Milk.
Solid biopic with a fine leading performance and judicious use of contemporary footage; its message that tolerance should be promoted is persuasively put over.
Dir: Gus Van Sant
Stars: Sean Penn, Emile Hirsch, Josh Brolin, Diego Luna, James Franco
THE MILKY WAY
1936
0
A milkman accidentally becomes a prize fighter.
Lloyd after he peaked, in an energetic but dated comedy.
Dir: Leo McCarey
Stars: Harold Lloyd, Adolphe Menjou, Verree Teasdale, Helen Mack
MILLENNIUM
1989
*
A man investigating an airline disaster discovers that people from the future may be responsible.
Choppy sci-fi which requires extremely close attention if it's to be enjoyed.
Dir: Michael Anderson
Stars: Kris Kristofferson, Cheryl Ladd, Robert Joy
LE MILLION
1931
*
The race is on to find a missing jacket which contains a winning lottery ticket.
Elegantly tedious frippery which exhibits much cinematic style and invention but doesn’t engage on an emotional level, one reason perhaps being that the two male leads have little personality (or that this is a French film from 1931). It’s not long before you’re crying out, ‘Oh, just get the flipping jacket back!’
Dir: Rene Clair
Stars: Annabella, Rene Lefebvre, Paul Ollivier
MILLION DOLLAR BABY
2004
***
A crusty old trainer is persuaded to work with a budding female boxer.
Expertly made and richly rewarding tale of guilt, belief and life lessons which takes an unexpected turn for its final act.
Dir: Clint Eastwood
Stars: Clint Eastwood, Hilary Swank, Morgan Freeman
MILLION DOLLAR DUCK
1972
0
A professor finds one of his research ducks lays golden eggs.
Predictable Disney rehash of Mr Drake's Duck (qv), pedestrian until its perky climax.
Dir: Vincent McEveety
Stars: Dean Jones, Sandy Duncan, Tony Roberts
THE MILLIONAIRESS
1960
*
The world's richest woman falls in love with a humble Indian doctor.
Loren looks astonishingly beautiful throughout and Sellers' Indian impersonation adds another to his splendid repertoire, but this comic romance now looks a bit dull, slow and stagey.
Dir: Anthony Asquith
Stars: Peter Sellers, Sophia Loren, Alastair Sim, Dennis Price, Alfie Bass, Graham Stark
THE MIND BENDERS
1963
*
A scientist’s experiments with sensory deprivation appear to send him mad.
Advertised as a sci-fi thriller, but more of a thoughtful and mature drama with sci-fi and espionage asides; pretty well done although bereft of the climactic frenzy that is hinted at throughout the picture.
Dir: Basil Dearden
Stars: Dirk Bogarde, John Clements, Mary Ure, Wendy Craig
THE MIND OF MR SOAMES
1970
0
A 30-year-old man who has been in a coma all his life is awakened, with troublesome results.
Earnest, mildly irritating drama that meanders towards an unsatisfactory conclusion; its general appeal is pretty limited.
Dir: Alan Cooke
Stars: Terence Stamp, Robert Vaughn, Nigel Davenport, Christian Roberts
MINDHORN
2016
0
The star of a popular Eighties crime series is asked to investigate a murder in the Isle of Man, where it was shot.
It would have been fun to see much more of the Mindhorn 'TV series' in this disappointingly flat comedy which trots out familiar situations and never offers any big laughs. It's a shame, because the concept - a bionic Bergerac - has much promise and the star is likeable; maybe the character's best days are yet to come?
Dir: Sean Foley
Stars: Julian Barratt, Simon Farnaby, Russell Tovey, Andrea Riseborough, Steve Coogan
MINDSCAPE
2013
*
In the near-future, a 'Mind Detective' investigates a girl who has gone on hunger strike.
There are some decent ideas here (some derived from others), but the director's determination to repeatedly wrong-foot the audience becomes dizzying and then numbing; it's also a bit earnest and dour, with particularly bad weather.
Dir: Jorge Dorado
Stars: Mark Strong, Taissa Farmiga, Brian Cox
MINISTRY OF FEAR
1944
*
A former inmate of an asylum stumbles across a spy ring.
English-set thriller which dips after a promising start.
Dir: Fritz Lang
Stars: Ray Milland, Marjorie Reynolds, Carl Esmond
MINORITY REPORT
2002
**
In the future, criminals are caught before committing the crimes they are about to, and an officer is accused of one.
State-of-the-art sci-fi thriller with a few helpings of brilliance. If there's a fault, perhaps it's the length.
Dir: Steven Spielberg
Stars: Tom Cruise, Colin Farrell, Max von Sydow
MIRACLE BEACH
1992
0
A man's luck changes when he meets a female genie who grants his many wishes.
Silly fantasy comedy, a bit of fluff with some sauce on the side; about as demanding as an afternoon at the beach.
Dir: Skott Snider
Stars: Dean Cameron, Ami Dolenz, Felicity Waterman
MIRACLE IN MILAN
1951
**
Poor people are helped by an angel to fly away to a better place.
Curious and charming fantasy with a warm heart.
Dir: Vittorio De Sica
Stars: Francesco Golisano, Paolo Stoppa
MIRACLE IN THE RAIN
1955
*
A shy woman meets a dashing soldier on a rainy afternoon.
Schmaltzy drama with too many sub plots.
Dir: Rudolph Mate
Stars: Jane Wyman, Van Johnson, Peggie Castle
THE MIRACLE OF MORGAN’S CREEK
1944
**
A woman wakes up to discover she married someone the night before that she can't remember.
Fast and (for the time) risqué farce, sometimes funny but not very likeable.
Dir: Preston Sturges
Stars: Eddie Bracken, Betty Hutton, Diana Lynn
MIRACLE ON 34TH STREET
1947
**
A department store Santa Claus claims he is the real thing.
A Christmas holiday favourite that has survived into the modern age, partly due to its mature, deeper themes, partly due to its simply enjoyable plot. Lovely stuff, though just a smidgen too long.
Dir: George Seaton
Stars: Edmund Gwenn, Maureen O'Hara, Natalie Wood, John Payne, Gene Lockhart
MIRANDA
1948
*
A doctor catches a mermaid while on holiday.
Pleasant comedy which was no doubt seen as saucy and hilariously wacky in its day - indeed, it even had a sequel, Mad About Men (qv).
Dir: Ken Annakin
Stars: Glynis Johns, Googie Withers, David Tomlinson, Margaret Rutherford
MIRANDA
1985
0
The landlady of a small country tavern goes through a string of men.
Paper thin soft core adventures from a director who knows what he likes and likes what he knows; his films would get more polished than this one though.
Dir: Tinto Brass
Stars: Serena Grandi, Andrea Occhipinti, Franco Interlenghi
THE MIRROR
1975
0
A dying man remembers his life.
The usual abstruse and euphuistic Tarkovsky rubbish, the sort of thing someone like Benny Hill hilariously parodied at the time.
Dir: Andrei Tarkovsky
Stars: Margarita Terekhova, Filipp Yankovskiy, Ignat Daniltsev
MIRROR IMAGES
1992
0
A pair of beautiful twins get involved with a mad killer.
Inanely plotted slice of titillation with several Playboy centrefold wannabes in various states of undress.
Dir: Gregory Dark
Stars: Delia Sheppard, Jeff Conaway, Richard Arbolino
MISCHIEF
1985
0
In 1956 Ohio, a teenage boy is desperate to lose his virginity.
Uninspired and uninvolving comic drama with male characters that aren't especially likeable or cool (the film makes the mistake of showing James Dean in Rebel Without A Cause) and a narrative that meanders.
Dir: Mel Damski
Stars: Doug McKeon, Catherine Mary Stewart, Kelly Preston, Chris Nash
LES MISERABLES
1935
***
A man whose only crime was to steal a loaf of bread is persecuted by a brutal policeman.
Definitive version of Hugo's novel, full of dark, brooding atmosphere and notable for Laughton's lip-smacking personification of obsessive evil.
Dir: Richard Boleslawski
Stars: Frederic March, Charles Laughton, Cedric Hardwicke, Rochelle Hudson
LES MISERABLES
2012
*
After he is given a second chance by a priest, a peasant makes it his mission to spread kindness.
This adaptation of the popular stage musical was criticised for having non-professionals in singing roles but it has other flaws - in this incarnation the story is much less focused or compelling, and because it passes from character to character we feel little when most of them meet their inevitable demise. But it's an impressively mounted production, the Thenardiers are fun and some of the numbers suitably rousing.
Dir: Tom Hooper
Stars: Hugh Jackman, Russell Crowe, Anne Hathaway, Eddie Redmayne, Amanda Seyfried, Sacha Baron Cohen, Helena Bonham Carter
MISERY
1991
***
After a car crash, a famous novelist is cared for by a disturbed fan who makes him write a novel just as she wants it.
A connoisseur's horror story, compulsively developed with cunningly judged shock moments and the best screen psycho performance in years.
Dir: Rob Reiner
Stars: James Caan, Kathy Bates, Lauren Bacall
THE MISFITS
1961
*
A beautiful divorcee falls for an elderly cowboy in Nevada.
That none of the main stars lived long after the film's release adds a certain poignancy, but added mordancy is barely called for in this portentous, gloomy drama which moves at a slow pace throughout.
Dir: John Huston
Stars: Clark Gable, Marilyn Monroe, Montgomery Clift, Thelma Ritter, Eli Wallach
MISS PINKERTON
1932
0
A nurse does a spot of private investigation.
Lively little mystery, not as straightforward as might be expected.
Dir: Lloyd Bacon
Stars: Joan Blondell, George Brent, Mae Madison
MISS SADIE THOMPSON
1953
*
Stranded on a South Seas island together, a stern moralist takes his wrath out on a prostitute.
Another adaptation of Somerset Maugham’s fine short story Rain, which was most effectively shot in 1932 under that title, this is a slightly odd mix of lovely scenery, occasional musical numbers and the original’s themes of intolerance and redemption, here dampened down somewhat. Thus it’s curdled and not as effective as it might have been, but not for want of the star’s efforts.
Dir: Curtis Bernhardt
Stars: Rita Hayworth, Jose Ferrer, Aldo Ray, Russell Collins, Charles Bronson
MISSING
1982
**
A father searches for his more left-wing son who has gone missing in Chile.
Political thriller that holds the attention - it's fairly straightforward but has gravitas, and the feel of a Seventies South American dictatorship is well recreated.
Dir: Costa-Gavras
Stars: Jack Lemmon, Sissy Spacek, John Shea, Melanie Mayron
THE MISSION
1986
*
In the 18th century, missionaries try to protect a remote tribe from Portuguese colonists.
A film that is more impressive for how it was made rather than how the finished picture views on screen, what with its stunning photography of a land beyond civilisation and the heavy presence of the non-actor natives. Mostly slow and apparently thoughtful, it's not a movie that, for example, Daily Star readers would get much out of, but also the modern secular watcher might struggle to identify with any of these characters who perform all their actions in service of an invisible god. It's a flawed work from a flawed director.
Dir: Roland Joffe
Stars: Robert De Niro, Jeremy Irons, Ray McAnally, Aidan Quinn, Liam Neeson
MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE
1996
**
An agent attempts to discover who the traitor in his organisation is.
Exhilarating, cleverly detailed updating of the Sixties TV show with spectacularly improved action and special effects.
Dir: Brian De Palma
Stars: Tom Cruise, Jon Voight, Emmanuelle Beart, Jean Reno, Kristin Scott Thomas, Vanessa Redgrave
MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE II
2000
*
Ethan Hunt goes to Australia to stop a deadly virus from escaping.
A follow-up which replaces the cleverness of the original with violence and gunplay, not to mention over-use of ingenious face masks, but still provides decent dollops of high-octane spectacle. A better leading lady and main villain would have helped it further still. Certainly, the vast majority of people would get more out of this than The Passion Of Joan Of Arc or Man With A Movie Camera.
Dir: John Woo
Stars: Tom Cruise, Thandie Newton, Dougray Scott, Ving Rhames, Anthony Hopkins
MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE III
2006
***
Ethan Hunt battles a sadistic arms dealer while trying to keep his occupation from his girlfriend.
The apogee of modern-day action blockbusters, this spectacular powerhouse of a movie grips from beginning to end, always driven by its sensational, priceless leading man.
Dir: J J Abrams
Stars: Tom Cruise, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Jonathan Rhys Meyers, Billy Crudup, Laurence Fishburne, Simon Pegg
MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE - GHOST PROTOCOL
2011
**
The IMF is forced to go undercover when it is blamed for the bombing of the Kremlin.
The first half of this action blockbuster is particularly exhilarating, with some inspired gadgets and setpieces, but the second half doesn’t keep things rolling with quite the same momentum - Dubai proves to be more fun than India, and the big villain doesn’t have much impact. By and large, though, it’s the sort of film that makes people glad they had a night out at the cinema, with the director proving that he can handle live action adeptly and Cruise back on box office form, though one almost suspects that he’s surrounded himself with a cast that, while acceptable, is in no danger of usurping him.
Dir: Brad Bird
Stars: Tom Cruise, Jeremy Renner, Simon Pegg, Paula Patton
MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE - ROGUE NATION
2015
**
Ethan Hunt has to go rogue after the CIA enact the IMF's closure.
Neither the worst nor the best of the series, this is, as before, an enjoyable evening out, with one strikingly shot, rollicking set-piece after another - when that music starts up, it's difficult not to feel a frisson or two. Cruise's dedication to the role, and to moviemaking, is illustrated by the fact that he really did hang off a plane in flight.
Dir: Christopher McQuarrie
Stars: Tom Cruise, Rebecca Ferguson, Simon Pegg, Jeremy Renner, Alec Baldwin
MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE - FALLOUT
2018
*
The IMF have a race against time after a mission goes wrong.
The least likeable of the M:I movies has many accomplished set-pieces but is way too long and twisting to make it particularly digestible - the violence and strong profanity (in a pointless first for the series) makes it less pleasant, too.
Dir: Christopher McQuarrie
Stars: Tom Cruise, Henry Cavill, Ving Rhames, Simon Pegg
THE MISSIONARY
1983
*
A reverend is given the job of helping London's fallen women.
Disappointing comedy which rapidly nosedives after an amusing start.
Dir: Richard Loncraine
Stars: Michael Palin, Maggie Smith, Trevor Howard, Denholm Elliott, Michael Hordern
MISSISSIPPI BURNING
1988
***
In 1964 two FBI detectives go South to investigate the disappearance of three civil rights activists.
Parker's fine film immerses the viewer in the place and the time, and also works as a really excellent crime thriller; superb performances further embody it, particularly Hackman's.
Dir: Alan Parker
Stars: Gene Hackman, Willem Dafoe, Frances McDormand, Brad Dourif, R Lee Ermey
MRS DOUBTFIRE
1993
***
A man denied custody of his children dresses up as a Scottish nanny so he can look after them.
Enjoyable comedy a little on the sentimental side (as Somerset Maugham said, sentimentality is the only sentiment that rubs you the wrong way) but genuinely witty and a showcase for one of the very best performances from the star. It's a film for almost anyone (the uncritical, the critical, families, children, adults, the Golden Globes committee...).
Dir: Chris Columbus
Stars: Robin Williams, Sally Field, Pierce Brosnan, Harvey Fierstein
MRS MINIVER
1942
**
The village life of an English family during World War 2.
As Churchill said, priceless propaganda; as a film, a mild-mannered, episodic drama that beguiles thanks to Greer Garson's sweet and gentle yet sure performance. The final oration by the preacher may have elated at the time but could be viewed more cynically now: God is with you despite millions of you being slaughtered.
Dir: William Wyler
Stars: Greer Garson, Walter Pidgeon, Teresa Wright, Dame May Whitty, Reginald Owen, Henry Travers
MR & MRS SMITH
1941
*
A couple discover that they are not actually legally married.
Hitchcock's only out-and-out comedy, not just worth seeing for completion's sake - it's played with alacrity and easy to enjoy.
Dir: Alfred Hitchcock
Stars: Carole Lombard, Robert Montgomery, Gene Raymond
MR BLANDINGS BUILDS HIS DREAM HOUSE
1948
***
A man finds building his dream house is a nightmare.
Ebullient comedy with a bright cast acting out universal truths and amusingly familiar situations.
Dir: H C Potter
Stars: Cary Grant, Myrna Loy, Melvyn Douglas, Reginald Denny
MR CORBETT’S GHOST
1986 (TV)
0
An apprentice wishes his cruel employer dead but is full of remorse when it happens.
Scrooge-like story with some freshness and atmosphere.
Dir: Danny Huston
Stars: Paul Scofield, John Huston, Burgess Meredith
MR DEEDS GOES TO TOWN
1936
**
A naive young man from the country comes into a fortune, which causes him various problems.
Another one of Capra's winners, this is a good, humane yarn culminating in courtroom scenes in the director's best manner. The cast is excellent and there are many standout sequences.
Dir: Frank Capra
Stars: Gary Cooper, Jean Arthur, George Bancroft, Lionel Stander
MR DRAKE’S DUCK
1950
**
When a farm duck lays a radioactive egg, the army frantically investigate.
Pleasant, brisk comedy with a number of cheery, well known faces.
Dir: Val Guest
Stars: Douglas Fairbanks Jr, Yolande Donlan, Jon Pertwee, Wilfrid Hyde-White, Reginald Beckwith, Peter Butterworth
MR HOLMES
2015
*
Now 93 years of age, Sherlock Holmes tries to remember a case involving an unhappy woman while looking after bees in the Kent countryside.
An interesting take on one of fiction's most fascinating figures that is a little underpowered and lacking in drama; nice intentions and moments but a lack of momentum. One of the most choice sequences has Holmes going to see the made-up film Sherlock Holmes And The Lady In Grey.
Dir: Bill Condon
Stars: Ian McKellen, Laura Linney, Milo Parker, Frances de la Tour
MR PEABODY AND THE MERMAID
1948
0
A married man meets a mermaid while swimming on holiday.
Limp imitation of Miranda (qv).
Dir: Irving Pichel
Stars: William Powell, Ann Blyth, Irene Hervey
MR POPPER’S PENGUINS
2011
**
A businessman finds himself in charge of several penguins.
Silly, sentimental and formulaic it may be, but this is an entertaining family comedy improved no end by the star, who proves he’s still worth his weight in gold in sequences like the ‘slow motion’ one near the end, dancing with the penguins and his Jimmy Stewart impression; co-star Lovibond is adorable as a PA who uses words beginning with the letter 'P' a lot. It has a proper sense of its own absurdity and knows exactly what sort of film it is.
Dir: Mark Waters
Stars: Jim Carrey, Carla Gugino, Ophelia Lovibond, Angela Lansbury
MISTER ROBERTS
1955
*
Life on a US ship during World War Two.
Like a more light-hearted and vastly less interesting Caine Mutiny (qv), this is a talky, stagey version of a stage play and not one that ever catches fire - its mainly trivial incidents fail to engage.
Dir: John Ford, Mervyn LeRoy
Stars: Henry Fonda, James Cagney, Jack Lemmon, William Powell
MR SMITH GOES TO WASHINGTON
1943
****
A young idealist becomes a senator unaware that he is a pawn in a much bigger game.
Magnificent exposé of rottenness at the heart of American politics, still utterly involving and emotionally shuddering.
Dir: Frank Capra
Stars: James Stewart, Jean Arthur, Claude Rains, Edward Arnold
MR TOPAZE
1961
*
A school teacher discovers that honesty sometimes isn't the best policy.
Long thought lost, this French-set comic drama, the only film to be credited to Sellers as director, is an interesting if unspectacular watch: it can't escape its static stage origins but the performances are rich and it's handsome in appearance.
Dir: Peter Sellers
Stars: Peter Sellers, Nadia Gray, Herbert Lom, Leo McKern, Michael Gough
MR TURNER
2014
**
The last years of the great British painter JMW Turner.
Leigh's biopic is an unusual beast, essentially a series of vignettes heavy with authenticity, from the speech patterns to the skin complaints, telling a loose story in a fractured fashion at an unhurried pace. It won't be for everyone, but scenes linger in the mind and Spall inhabits his role completely.
Dir: Mike Leigh
Stars: Timothy Spall, Paul Jesson, Dorothy Atkinson, Marion Bailey
MR VAMPIRE
1985
**
A vampire escapes from its burial to engage in a reign of terror.
Sprightly horror done in true Hong Kong style, with fast, furious and inventive action.
Dir: Ricky Lau
Stars: Ching-Ting Lam, Siu-hou Chin
MR WRONG
1985
0
A girl buys an old Jaguar car which appears to be possessed.
Odd little thriller which mixes mechanical shocks and domestic detail to little discernible effect.
Dir: Gaylene Preston
Stars: Heather Bolton, David Letch
MISTRESS AMERICA
2015
*
A wannabe writer becomes close to her effervescent future step-sister.
Lots of fast-spoken dialogue is not in short supply in this compact, occasionally amusing drama that almost turns into a stage play and in the end doesn't say all that much.
Dir: Noah Baumbach
Stars: Greta Gerwig, Lola Kirke, Seth Barrish, Heather Lind
MISTRESS PAMELA
1974
0
In the 18th century, a Lord lusts after the servant girl who works for him.
Initially attractive, then repetitive sex drama (with no sex) starring a permanently grumpy female lead. Not much fun for anyone.
Dir: Jim O’Connolly
Stars: Ann Michelle, Julian Barnes, Anthony Sharp
MOBY DICK
1956
*
A sea captain becomes obsessed with tracking down a white whale.
Slow moving character study typical of its director.
Dir: John Huston
Stars: Gregory Peck, Richard Basehart, Leo Genn, James Robertson Justice
MODERN TIMES
1936
**
A man is kicked out of his job and becomes a factotum and law-breaker.
Occasionally striking social comedy that suffers from the same problem that many Chaplins do - it's not very funny.
Dir: Charles Chaplin
Stars: Charles Chaplin, Paulette Goddard, Tiny Sandford
MODESTY BLAISE
1966
0
A glamorous secret agent gets involved with a diamond thief.
Confused pop art pap, all style and no substance.
Dir: Joseph Losey
Stars: Terence Stamp, Monica Vitti, Dirk Bogarde, Harry Andrews
THE MOLE PEOPLE
1956
0
Archaeologists discover a violent and superstitious civilisation living inside Earth.
Dopey B-picture that gives Fifties sci-fi a bad name – it unfolds in a very perfunctory fashion and its message is hardly revelatory. Its dull padding includes a five-minute introduction by a university professor.
Dir: Virgil W Vogel
Stars: John Agar, Hugh Beaumont, Cynthia Patrick, Alan Napier
MONSIEUR HIRE
1991
*
A quiet middle-aged man is suspected of a killing in a small village.
Cold, well made, low key drama that struggles to involve the viewer.
Dir: Patrice Leconte
Stars: Michael Blanc, Sandrine Bonnaire, Luc Thuillier
THE MONSTER AND THE GIRL
1940
0
A scientist transplants the mind of a man accused of murder into a gorilla.
Low budget horror which improves after a slow start.
Dir: Stuart Heisler
Stars: Ellen Drew, Robert Paige, Paul Lukas, Onslow Stevens, George Zucco
A MONSTER CALLS
2016
*
A tree monster helps a boy cope with his single mum's cancer.
Maudlin, one-note fantasy drama that may speak to a few who've suffered but could struggle to find wide appeal: probably too grey and troubling for youngsters and too whimsical and simple for older audiences, it suffers from a lead character who's neither amiable enough nor has a world expansive enough to invite much sympathy. It's fitting that the strikingly shot tree sequences are best, because the film, which isn't without distinct personality, struggles to get the most out of the human elements.
Dir: JA Bayona
Stars: Lewis MacDougall, Sigourney Weaver, Felicity Jones, Toby Kebbell
THE MONSTER CLUB
1980
0
A writer of horror stories visits a strange disco populated by monsters where he is told three spooky tales about a 'shadmock', a vampire and a 'humgoo'.
Sadly, a failure: all the stories are weak, the concept is silly and interjections of mediocre pop songs really doesn't help. Story one is predictable; story two is a somewhat dumb would-be comic tale; story three never fulfils its promise, but is overly familiar anyway; the best bit is probably Price's late monologue describing human beings as the real monsters.
Dir: Roy Ward Baker
Stars: Vincent Price, John Carradine, Donald Pleasence, Britt Ekland, Richard Johnson, Barbara Kellerman, Simon Ward, Stuart Whitman, Patrick Magee
MONSTER FROM GREEN HELL
1957
0
Wasps exposed to radiation grow to enormous sizes and attack an expedition in Africa.
Typical 1950s monster madness with a small budget and intelligence to match.
Dir: Kenneth G Crane
Stars: Jim Davis, Robert Griffin, Joel Fluellen
THE MONSTER OF HIGHGATE PONDS
1961
0
Three children are given a big egg from Malaya which hatches a friendly monster.
A Children's Film Foundation production typical of the time, complete with basic special effects and very nice families with received pronunciation. Painfully anodyne, at least it features plenty of location footage of early Sixties London. The director, who helmed Went The Day Well, is said to have bemoaned what had become of his career by this stage.
Dir: Alberto Cavalcanti
Stars: Ronald Howard, Frederick Piper, Michael Balfour
MONSTERS, INC
2001
*
A little girl gets lost in Monstropolis, a town full of monsters who scare children.
Thinly plotted but pleasing cartoon with impressive technical credits; we almost take superb animation for granted nowadays.
Dir: Pete Docter
Voices: John Goodman, Billy Crystal, Mary Gibbs, Steve Buscemi, James Coburn, Jennifer Tilly, Frank Oz
MONTENEGRO
1981
0
A wayward housewife indulges in eccentric behaviour.
Weird, sexy drama that is difficult to connect with.
Dir: Dusan Makavejev
Stars: Susan Anspach, Erland Josephson, James Marsh
MONTEREY POP
1968
*
Documentary featuring performances at an international rock festival.
Variable, somewhat dated piece which inevitably pales in comparison with Woodstock (qv).
Dir: D A Pennebaker
Stars: Jimi Hendrix, The Who, The Animals, Simon and Garfunkel, Jefferson Airplane, The Mamas and The Papas, Ravi Shankar
MONTY PYTHON AND THE HOLY GRAIL
1975
***
King Arthur and his knights embark on a fraught search for the Grail.
Ambitious fantasia with a tremendous visual sense and a frequently hilarious script.
Dir: Terry Gilliam, Terry Jones
Stars: Graham Chapman, John Cleese, Michael Palin, Eric Idle, Terry Jones, Terry Gilliam, Connie Booth, Carol Cleveland, Neil Innes
MONTY PYTHON LIVE AT THE HOLLYWOOD BOWL
1982
*
The Monty Python team perform sketches in front of a live audience.
Many of the Pythons’ most famous sketches are here, plus a few rare ones, along with some songs and a bit of animation. Picture and sound quality are not great, and much of it is decidedly over-familiar, but the performers are on good form and generously appreciated by the whooping audience.
Dir: Terry Hughes, Ian MacNaughton
Stars: Graham Chapman, John Cleese, Michael Palin, Eric Idle, Terry Jones, Terry Gilliam, Carol Cleveland, Neil Innes
MONTY PYTHON’S LIFE OF BRIAN
1979
****
At the time of Christ, a man named Brian is mistaken for the new messiah.
Rollicking Python epic which happens to be one of the cinema's sharpest satires on the foolishness of organised religion. Probably their finest achievement, it goes from one famous, richly scripted, beautifully performed routine to the next with hardly a pause for breath.
Dir: Terry Jones
Stars: Graham Chapman, John Cleese, Michael Palin, Eric Idle, Terry Jones, Terry Gilliam, Carol Cleveland, Neil Innes
MONTY PYTHON’S THE MEANING OF LIFE
1983
**
A series of sketches about sex, death, live organ transplants, over-eating and more.
For this movie the Pythons returned to the sketch format and produced their most extreme and, in some eyes, most tasteless material for it. It's probably improved with age (a handful of sequences have become classics) and the fact that it was their last work together gives it added value; certainly, while bits of it are only tediously funny, other bits sing, literally so in the many splendid song and dance sequences.
Dir: Terry Jones
Stars: Graham Chapman, John Cleese, Michael Palin, Eric Idle, Terry Jones, Terry Gilliam, Carol Cleveland
MOON
2009
*
An astronaut on a three-year solo mission on the Moon appears to be having delusions.
Thought-provoking sci-fi with an ingenious central idea that has been stretched to feature length, so it doesn’t satisfy most until near the very end; Rockwell’s performance is solid throughout, however. All contemporary reviews of the film tirelessly used the words ‘Zowie Bowie’, ‘2001’, ‘Solaris’, ‘Silent Running’, ‘thoughtful’, ‘low budget’...
Dir: Duncan Jones
Stars: Sam Rockwell, Kevin Spacey
THE MOON AND SIXPENCE
1942
**
A respectable Victorian stockbroker suddenly ups and leaves his family to become a painter living in poverty.
Elegant adaptation of Maugham’s novel which generally keeps the book’s unusual structure intact, resulting in an unconventional film that works best as a portrait of a man who gives up everything for his art. The climactic flash of Technicolor, similar to that in the director’s The Picture Of Dorian Gray (qv), gives the viewer a genuine jolt. Some great performances, too.
Dir: Albert Lewin
Stars: George Sanders, Herbert Marshall, Steven Geray, Doris Dudley
MOON 44
1990
0
In 2038, a corporate agent is assigned to protect a mining station on a remote moon.
Cramped sci-fi with dull, dark hardware and annoying and underwritten characters.
Dir: Roland Emmerich
Stars: Michael Pare, Malcolm McDowell, Lisa Eichhorn
MOON OF THE WOLF
1972 (TV)
0
A werewolf plagues a Louisiana town.
Formulaic shocker.
Dir: Daniel Petrie
Stars: David Janssen, Barbara Rush, Bradford Dillman
THE MOON OVER THE ALLEY
1975
*
A house in Notting Hill with a large variety of inmates is threatened with demolition.
Almost as strange as these directors’ Duffer (qv), this musical drama is quite unlike any other film – the thing is, though, Despins and Dumaresq were semi-good filmmakers, not the complete package, because while this has much beauty and beguiling quirks its narrative lacks perpetual motion. With a touch more definition and a little less length it would have been even better, as there are some delightful sequences – many of the songs are superb - and the enterprise is a worthy one.
Dir: Joseph Despins, William Dumaresq
Stars: Doris Fishwick, Peter Farrell, Erna May, John Gay
MOON ZERO TWO
1969
0
Criminals aim to crash an asteroid made of sapphire into a moon and collect the fragments.
Kitsch sci-fi uncertain of what approach to take, now extremely dated.
Dir: Roy Ward Baker
Stars: James Olson, Catherine Schell, Warren Mitchell, Adrienne Corri, Bernard Bresslaw, Michael Ripper, Carol Cleveland
MOONLIGHT
2016
**
A black boy in a tough neighbourhood grows up to be gay.
The reason this slight drama was wildly overrated and over-awarded was because the film industry was in the throes of white guilt at the time of its release and determined to shout about any movie that spoke of the 'black experience'. It has lyrical qualities but is narrow, shallow, cheap, underwritten, cliched and weakly characterised, with a dull, taciturn lead character - his silence is mistaken for profundity - and, in the end, nowhere to go. How the likes of Spike Lee must be delighted they now have the power to bully the Academy into going along with their politics.
Dir: Barry Jenkins
Stars: Trevante Rhodes, Ashton Sanders, Alex Hibbert, Mahershala Ali, Naomie Harris
THE MOONRAKER
1958
*
A man helps royalists escape Oliver Cromwell.
Fairly enjoyable swashbuckler, competently made.
Dir: David MacDonald
Stars: George Baker, Sylvia Sims, John Le Mesurier, Patrick Troughton
MOONRAKER
1979
*
James Bond investigates the theft of a space shuttle in mid air.
As frequently mentioned, this is one of the very silliest and corniest Bond films, but that's not just because of the space fiction plot, but because many of its other elements are wilfully exaggerated and veer straight into broad comedy, or just don't make sense. The opening stunt - the jump from the plane - is impressive but after that a feeling of deja vu abounds, with the director intent on throwing 007 into as many hazardous situations as possible - luckily Moore carries most of them off well, having grown into the role in his fourth Bond film.
Dir: Lewis Gilbert
Stars: Roger Moore, Lois Chiles, Michael Lonsdale, Richard Kiel, Corinne Clery, Bernard Lee, Geoffrey Keen, Desmond Llewelyn, Lois Maxwell
MOONRISE KINGDOM
2012
*
In 1965 New England, a young boy and girl abscond from the authorities.
As ever, Wes Anderson splits opinion, and there's much to feed both sides of the argument: the detractors can point out that his affectations are all present and correct, from performers who look doped up, to a slow, detached story and a good deal of irritating archness. But acolytes can point to the sagacious camerawork, the beautiful cinematography, the clever quirks and the gentle charm. It's certainly agreeably original and, for some, perhaps quite moving, but the detractors' points are intact.
Dir: Wes Anderson
Stars: Edward Norton, Bruce Willis, Bill Murray, Kara Hayward, Frances McDormand, Tilda Swinton, Jared Gilman
MOONSTRUCK
1987
*
Various Italian-Americans in New York have romantic complications.
Pleasant, not particularly weighty comic drama which draws some agreeable performances from its cast.
Dir: Norman Jewison
Stars: Cher, Nicolas Cage, Olympia Dukakis, Vincent Gardenia
MOONTRAP
1989
0
Astronauts inadvertently bring an alien war robot back to Earth.
Slow moving sci-fi little different from many others except that it's set in 1969.
Dir: Robert Dyke
Stars: Walter Koenig, Bruce Campbell, Leigh Lombardi
MOONWALKER
1988
0
Michael Jackson's life story, a few pop videos and some curious fantasy adventures.
One giant ego trip that's very much for acolytes only, although there is the odd fun moment among the filler material.
Dir: Jerry Kramer
Stars: Michael Jackson, Joe Pesci, Sean Lennon, Mick Jagger
THE MORE THE MERRIER
1943
*
In wartime Washington, a woman ends up sharing her flat with two troublesome men.
Rather tiresome and long comedy with dated themes and irritating characters who behave in curious ways.
Dir: George Stevens
Stars: Jean Arthur, Joel McCrea, Charles Coburn, Richard Gaines
THE MORE YOU IGNORE ME
2018
0
A teenage girl with a mentally ill mother finds some solace in the music of The Smiths.
An uncomfortable watch, a less than successful marriage of human tragedy and awkward comedy - that the swearing sticks out is in part proof its failure. But it's more the fact that not a single element of it is convincing, from the Seventies/Eighties setting to the behaviour of most of its characters to the girl and her mother's 'obsession' with The Smiths - it really doesn't help that they only got the rights to just two of their songs (This Charming Man and What Difference Does It Make?).
Dir: Keith English
Stars: Ella Hunt, Sheridan Smith, Mark Addy, Sally Phillips, Jo Brand
MORGAN - A SUITABLE CASE FOR TREATMENT
1966
**
A man is obsessed by Karl Marx, gorillas and his ex-wife.
Tiresome weirdness extensively utilising slow motion, fast motion and freeze frame, none of which can do much to help the script - the problem is that it isn't funny and was a product of a very narrow period of time, a time that was unlike any other before or since. It's a Sixties capsule in that respect and certainly different, and refreshingly oxygenated, but modern viewers will have various difficulties with it, including the lead character's obnoxious and stalker-ish behaviour.
Dir: Karel Reisz
Stars: David Warner, Vanessa Redgrave, Robert Stephens, Irene Handl, Bernard Bresslaw, Arthur Mullard
MORRISSEY 25: LIVE
2013
*
Morrissey's concert at Hollywood High School, Los Angeles, on 2 March 2013.
Not really a film as such, this is a fairly straightforward concert presentation that was given a limited cinema release. It's not the star captured at his peak but he gives a strong, typically idiosyncratic performance whose highlights include new songs People Are The Same Everywhere and Action Is My Middle Name, plus Speedway and You Have Killed Me, and Smiths favourites Still Ill and The Boy With A Thorn In His Side. There are nice moments along the way, including handing the microphone to the crowd and Mozza carrying a young fan around the stage. It's unlikely to win over those who dislike him but for fans it's a decent watch, and the DVD includes extra studio performances, of tracks unreleased at the time of the DVD's release.
Dir: James Russell
MORTAL THOUGHTS
1991
*
A woman is suspected of murdering her husband and her friend's husband.
Disingenuous thriller which spices its thin plot with plenty of dramatic incidents.
Dir: Alan Rudolph
Stars: Demi Moore, Bruce Willis, Harvey Keitel, Glenne Headly
MOST DANGEROUS MAN ALIVE
1961
0
After a freak accident, a man begins to turn into steel.
Fairly violent sci-fi thriller with extensive padding.
Dir: Allan Dwan
Stars: Ron Randell, Debra Paget, Elaine Stewart
MOTHER!
2017
*
Unexpected guests at their house disturb the life of a couple.
Turbulent drama, some sort of religious allegory, that is put over with no little force but never connects because its situation is not based in any kind of sympathetic reality. Pretentious, torpid and claustrophobic, it's likely to polarise audiences.
Dir: Darren Aronofsky
Stars: Jennifer Lawrence, Javier Bardem, Ed Harris, Michelle Pfeiffer
MOTHER AND SON
1997
*
A man tends to his dying mother.
There are few films out there in which so little happens as this one - two taciturn characters are shot doing not much against a background of nature and the elements, to further emphasise their mortality. For all its almost risible inertness, it has a certain filmic and poetic power.
Dir: Aleksandr Sokurov
Stars: Aleksei Ananishnov, Gudrun Geyer
MOTHER, JUGS & SPEED
1976
0
Private LA ambulance firms compete against each other.
Unattractive comedy in the MASH mould.
Dir: Peter Yates
Stars: Raquel Welch, Bill Cosby, Harvey Keitel, L Q Jones
MOTHER RILEY MEETS THE VAMPIRE
1952
0
A washerwoman catches a crook called The Vampire.
Inane farce, the last of the unfunny Mother Riley series.
Dir: John Gilling
Stars: Arthur Lucan, Bela Lugosi, Dora Bryan, Richard Wattis, Graham Moffat, Hattie Jacques, Dandy Nichols
MOULIN ROUGE
1952
*
Shrunken artist Toulouse-Lautrec visits the Moulin Rouge, a lively night club, to draw and drink.
Richly atmospheric, factually unreliable biopic, a little dry, in common with many of this director's other works.
Dir: John Huston
Stars: Jose Ferrer, Zsa Zsa Gabor, Suzanne Flon
MOULIN ROUGE
2001
*
In 1900 Paris, a penniless poet falls in love with a glamorous courtesan.
Extreme musical fantasia, an acquired taste, and probably more of a film for women, although gentlemen are taken care of by the breathtakingly beautiful Nicole Kidman.
Dir: Baz Luhrmann
Stars: Nicole Kidman, Ewan McGregor, Jim Broadbent, John Leguizamo
MOUNTAIN
2017
*
Documentary about man's fascination with mountains.
Spectacular photography is the main asset of this shortish film, although Dafoe's narration is intelligent and the orchestral backing luscious. It almost feels vulgar to say that the most enjoyable bits are the brief sequences of derring-do, such as madmen bicycling down steep inclines.
Dir: Jennifer Peedom
Narrator: Willem Dafoe
THE MOUNTAIN OF THE CANNIBAL GOD
1978
0
A woman and her entourage journey into cannibal land to look for her missing husband.
As this sleazy adventure is largely devoid of suspense, tension or excitement it has to resort to gruesomeness, and that comes late in the day and looks very fake.
Dir: Sergio Martino
Stars: Ursula Andress, Stacy Keach, Claudio Cassinelli
MOUNTAINS OF THE MOON
1990
*
In Victorian times, explorers seek the source of the Nile river.
Lavish adventure which plays like a more serious King Solomon's Mines, it always looks good but might have benefited from spending less time in England and more in Africa.
Dir: Bob Rafelson
Stars: Patrick Bergin, Iain Glen, Richard E Grant, Fiona Shaw
THE MOUSE ON THE MOON
1963
0
A tiny country persuades the super powers that they are starting a space program.
Bland sequel to The Mouse That Roared lacking that film's satiric bite.
Dir: Richard Lester
Stars: Margaret Rutherford, Ron Moody, Bernard Cribbins, Terry-Thomas, John Le Mesurier
MOVIE CRAZY
1932
***
An accident-prone young man hopes to become a Hollywood star.
Marvellous star comedy, his last unqualified success, done in a charming, slow, almost suspenseful manner.
Dir: Clyde Bruckman
Stars: Harold Lloyd, Constance Cummings, Kenneth Thomson
MOVING McALLISTER
2007
0
A would-be lawyer is charged with bringing the boss’s niece safely home across half of America.
Ineffectual and unamusing comedy with a listless lead and weak support; we feel nothing for the characters and the quirky bits don’t come off.
Dir: Andrew Black
Stars: Ben Gourley, Mila Kunis, Jon Heder, Rutger Hauer
MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING
1993
**
Lovers soon to wed try to get their two single friends hitched too.
Amiable adaptation of one of Shakespeare's jolliest plays in which the big name actors appear to be enjoying themselves; if there's a fault it's that the photography can be a little dark.
Dir: Kenneth Branagh
Stars: Kenneth Branagh, Emma Thompson, Richard Briers, Keanu Reeves, Kate Beckinsale, Denzel Washington, Michael Keaton, Imelda Staunton, Brian Blessed
MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING
2012
*
Avengers director Whedon shot this adaptation in twelve days, in black and white, in and around his house while he was still working on that superhero blockbuster; it could not be more different. The only trouble with this is that while it's well acted and shot, the approach isn't the most conducive to getting the best out of Shakespeare's light, colourful comedy. But the lilting dialogue shines through, especially in the Benedick and Beatrice scenes.
Dir: Joss Whedon
Stars: Amy Acker, Alexis Denisof, Emma Bates, Spencer Treat Clark, Reed Diamond
MUCH TOO SHY
1942
0
A milkman aspires to being an artist.
Surprisingly saucy star comedy bogged down by too much talk.
Dir: Marcel Varnel
Stars: George Formby, Kathleen Harrison, Jimmy Clitheroe
MULHOLLAND DRIVE
2001
**
A budding actress has a glamorous woman with no memory turn up in her shower.
A puzzle which isn’t a puzzle; a movie which is mostly a dream – Lynch’s strange opus is worth seeing, especially for fans, and, in the age of internet message boards, particularly suitable for lively discussion. While not totally satisfactory - it often feels like a lot of random scenes stuck together willy-nilly - it does at least show an intelligent filmmaker keen on enriching his art form.
Dir: David Lynch
Stars: Naomi Watts, Laura Elena Harring, Justin Theroux, Ann Miller
MULTIPLICITY
1996
*
A man with a very busy life clones himself to cope.
While not another Groundhog Day, this is an entertaining comedy with a superlative performance from Keaton, who manages to differentiate the four different sides of one person. It arguably could have been either more philosophical and thoughtful, or farcical and freewheeling (a whole, very long-running TV series could be made) but it provides passable entertainment, and was somewhat undervauled by many critics.
Dir: Harold Ramis
Stars: Michael Keaton, Andie MacDowell, Zack Duhame
MUM & DAD
2008
*
A Polish immigrant cleaner working at Heathrow is abducted by a family of freaks.
Another very nasty modern British horror film and one that actually received Lottery funding; loosely based on the Fred and Rose West case, it’s too disgusting to be funny (which it sort of tries to be) but keeps you watching and, on its own level, is very well made and could even be mined for deeper meanings.
Dir: Steven Sheil
Stars: Perry Benson, Dido Miles, Olga Fedori, Ainsley Howard
THE MUMMY
1932
**
A mummy who has been brought back to life seeks the reincarnation of his long-lost love.
Moody, influential horror with a splendidly ghoulish star performance, let down by some stiff acting elsewhere and starchy dialogue.
Dir: Karl Freund
Stars: Boris Karloff, Zita Johann, David Manners, Arthur Byron
THE MUMMY’S CURSE
1945
0
An irrigation project unearths a mummy.
Feeble final entry into the series proper (Abbott and Costello came along soon).
Dir: Leslie Goodwins
Stars: Lon Chaney Jr, Peter Coe, Virginia Christine
THE MUMMY’S GHOST
1944
0
An Egyptian high priest seeks the body a high princess.
Poor number four of Universal's Mummy movies, serving up the same old stuff.
Dir: Reginald Le Borg
Stars: Lon Chaney Jr, John Carradine, George Zucco
THE MUMMY’S HAND
1940
*
Archaeologists are terrorised by a sinister priest and a mummy on the rampage.
Initially jokey, ultimately scary semi-sequel to Karloff's 1932 original.
Dir: Christy Cabanne
Stars: Tom Tyler, Dick Foran, Peggy Moran, George Zucco
THE MUMMY’S SHROUD
1966
0
Archaeologists who break into an ancient Egyptian tomb are slaughtered by a mummy.
Bog-standard Mummy movie, not original in any way, with predictable plot development. Most of the killings are done with visual panache, though - the rich colours glow - which, considering the budget was so moderate, is some sort of achievement. The last film Hammer shot at Bray Studios.
Dir: John Gilling
Stars: Andre Morell, John Phillips, David Buck, Elizabeth Sellars, Michael Ripper
THE MUMMY’S TOMB
1942
*
A mummy slaughters those who have desecrated a tomb.
Watchable sequel to The Mummy's Hand which reaches an exciting climax.
Dir: Harold Young
Stars: Lon Chaney Jr, Dick Foran, George Zucco
MUNICH
2005
**
A team of Mossad agents is assembled to take revenge for the massacre of Israeli athletes at the 1972 Olympics.
A solid thriller presumably about the tragedy of perpetual revenge, convincingly acted and technically excellent.
Dir: Steven Spielberg
Stars: Eric Bana, Daniel Craig, Ciaran Hinds, Mathieu Kassovitz, Geoffrey Rush
MUNSTER, GO HOME
1966
0
Herman discovers he is the lord of an English manor.
The movie version of the popular show loses the awful laugh-track and gains colour but has little else of interest going for it.
Dir: Earl Bellamy
Stars: Fred Gwynne, Yvonne De Carlo, Al Lewis, Butch Patrick, Terry-Thomas, Hermione Gingold, John Carradine
THE MUNSTERS’ REVENGE
1981 (TV)
0
Herman and Grandpa are accused of a jewellery heist.
Pretty unbearable reunion of the monster family complete with canned laughter; light should not have been shed on it.
Dir: Don Weis
Stars: Fred Gwynne, Yvonne De Carlo, Al Lewis, K C Martel
THE MUPPET CHRISTMAS CAROL
1992
*
A mean miser has a life-changing Christmas Eve.
The Muppets doing Charles Dickens works pretty well, in part thanks to Caine, in part thanks to the eternal quality of the original story. A nice Christmas film for young and old alike.
Dir: Brian Henson
Stars: Michael Caine, Dave Goelz, Steve Whitmire, Frank Oz
THE MUPPET MOVIE
1979
**
Kermit and friends try to find success in Hollywood.
Overlong but enjoyable movie version of the TV show benefiting from a gang of esteemed guest stars, a decent script and puppetry superior to the programme.
Dir: James Frawley
Stars: Jim Henson, Frank Oz, Mel Brooks, Milton Berle, James Coburn, Dom DeLuise, Elliott Gould, Bob Hope, Madeline Kahn, Orson Welles, Richard Pryor, Steve Martin
THE MUPPETS TAKE MANHATTAN
1984
0
The Muppets attempt to stage a musical on Broadway.
Faltering caper with a lack of memorable tunes and a more conventional attitude than its two predecessors.
Dir: Frank Oz
Stars: Jim Henson, Frank Oz, Joan Rivers, Elliott Gould, Liza Minnelli, Brooke Shields
MURDER!
1930
*
A juror in a murder trial has second thoughts about his verdict and decides to investigate.
Early Hitchcock with ahead-of-their-time ideas (including long takes, the character’s inner monologue in the bathroom and the climactic scenes in the circus where the trapeze artist sees people flash before his eyes) but an air of creakiness and quaintness. The plot is largely elongated stodge, and the actors just out of the silent era, but Hitch’s underlying themes of art contrasted with real life, sexual ambivalence and the plucky loner add a touch of class to proceedings, and he would return to them many times. Mary (qv) was a German language version.
Dir: Alfred Hitchcock
Stars: Herbert Marshall, Norah Baring, Phyllis Konstam
MURDER AT THE GALLOP
1963
0
Elderly sleuth Miss Marple stumbles on what appears to be a murder for money.
Unobjectionable, slightly silly mystery in which the killer is easily guessed. The name of Agatha Christie is actually mentioned in the course of the story.
Dir: George Pollock
Stars: Margaret Rutherford, Flora Robson, Robert Morley, Stringer Davis, Duncan Lamont, James Villiers
MURDER AT THE WINDMILL
1949
0
A man watching a show at the Windmill Theatre is apparently shot from the stage.
Hilariously prolonged and archaic mystery of historical interest only.
Dir: Val Guest
Stars: Garry Marsh, Jon Pertwee, Jimmy Edwards
MURDER AT 3AM
1953
*
Police investigate a series of killings that may be linked to the names of theatres from which the victims emerge at 3am.
Functional murder mystery; its absurdities slip by fairly painlessly.
Dir: Francis Searle
Stars: Dennis Price, Peggy Evans, Philip Saville
MURDER BY DEATH
1976
*
Five famous literary detectives are invited to a mansion to solve a murder.
You have to be in the right mood for a Neil Simon production, otherwise it can grate, as it does here, with much sheer stupidity, including the blind butler and deaf maid's antics, along with Falk's annoying drawl. Perhaps best suited for an older audience, it features a cast rich in talent doing their best with the material, and you do want to stay to the end to see how it pans out.
Dir: Robert Moore
Stars: Alec Guinness, Peter Sellers, David Niven, Truman Capote, Peter Falk, Maggie Smith, James Coco, Elsa Lanchester
MURDER BY DECREE
1978
*
Sherlock Holmes investigates Jack the Ripper and uncovers a political conspiracy.
Like a less sensationalist version of A Study In Terror (qv), this takes the interesting concept one step further but is often on the verge of becoming muddled; a strong sense of time and place and a cast of distinguished actors see it through.
Dir: Bob Clark
Stars: Christopher Plummer, James Mason, David Hemmings, Anthony Quayle, John Gielgud, Frank Finlay, Donald Sutherland, Genevieve Bujold
MURDER BY TELEVISION
1935
0
A scientist is killed during the first ever television transmission.
Cheap and confusing clunker which may have been made in a single afternoon.
Dir: Clifford Sanforth
Stars: Bela Lugosi, June Collyer, George Meeker
MURDER IN THE FIRST
1995
**
A petty criminal winds up in Alcatraz.
Convincing filming of a true story, an accomplished blend of pathos, brutality and humour.
Dir: Marc Rocco
Stars: Christian Slater, Kevin Bacon, Gary Oldman, William H Macy, Brad Dourif, R Lee Ermey
MURDER ON THE ORIENT EXPRESS
1974
**
Hercule Poirot solves a murder mystery on a train.
One of the best Agatha Christie adaptations; an all-star cast (usually a good thing) generate a fair amount of intrigue as the dependable plot unfolds.
Dir: Sidney Lumet
Stars: Albert Finney, Lauren Bacall, Martin Balsam, Ingrid Bergman, Jacqueline Bisset, Sean Connery, John Gielgud, Anthony Perkins, Vanessa Redgrave
MURDER ON THE ORIENT EXPRESS
2017
*
Branagh's version of the tale is an opulent production, full of bracing vistas and imaginative camerawork, but is inferior to the 1974 film. Why? Perhaps because the all-star cast get little chance to shine, perhaps because the script doesn't generate much tension, perhaps because if you know the resolution already it feels a little stale and unenterprising. A prestige pic that should have had a lot more fun with its story.
Dir: Kenneth Branagh
Stars: Kenneth Branagh, Johnny Depp, Michelle Pfeiffer, Daisy Ridley, Penelope Cruz, Judi Dench, Olivia Colman, Willem Dafoe, Lucy Boynton, Josh Gad, Derek Jacobi, Tom Bateman
MURDERBALL
2005
**
Documentary about quadriplegics who play an aggressive form of wheelchair rugby.
These players barely even seem to care about their disability - although obviously they do - and throw themselves 100% into this most physical of sports: perhaps it says a lot about human nature, and perhaps the subject matter overwhelms the makers - the problem is one of focus (you feel there should actually be more sport), although there are many rich scenes that validate the camera's roving eye. One almost feels uncomfortable saying that many of these people are not the most likeable of characters.
Dir: Henry Alex Rubin, Dana Adam Shapiro
MURDERDROME
2013
0
Female roller derby players come up against a supernatural force.
From its stupidly long title sequence onwards, this is thoroughly unsatisfying rubbish made by Tarantino wannabes without the talent or wonga; an aimless and unfunny comic horror with an inconsistent tone.
Dir: Daniel Armstrong
Stars: Kat Anderson, Rachael Blackwood, Jake Brown
MURDERS IN THE RUE MORGUE
1932
*
In 19th century Paris, a mad doctor kidnaps girls to inject them with an ape blood serum.
It never was a particularly good story but this dated chiller still throws up some weird, fog-shrouded pleasures.
Dir: Robert Florey
Stars: Bela Lugosi, Sidney Fox, Leon Ames
MURDERS IN THE RUE MORGUE
1971
*
Poe's story is being presented at a theatre, but real murders begin.
An odd version with more in common with Phantom Of The Opera, cheaply and eccentrically made, with lots of flashbacks and dream sequences.
Dir: Gordon Hessler
Stars: Jason Robards, Herbert Lom, Christine Kaufmann
THE MURDERS IN THE RUE MORGUE
1986 (TV)
0
A detective comes out of retirement to help prove a man's innocence.
Plodding retread of Poe's tale with a limp climax but interesting credits.
Dir: Jeannot Szwarc
Stars: George C Scott, Rebecca De Mornay, Ian McShane, Neil Dickson, Val Kilmer
MURDERS IN THE ZOO
1933
0
A man uses animals to commit murders for him.
Mainly starchy horror which successfully utilises the scare factor of the animals in a few sequences.
Dir: A Edward Sutherland
Stars: Charles Ruggles, Lionel Atwill, Randolph Scott
MURDERERS’ ROW
1966
0
Agent Matt Helm goes after a doctor who has a laser beam that could destroy the world.
Sloppy spy spoof that hasn't lasted well.
Dir: Henry Levin
Stars: Dean Martin, Ann-Margret, Karl Malden
THE MUSIC BOX
1932
****
Stan and Ollie attempt to deliver a piano to a house on top of a very large hill.
Laurel and Hardy’s most brilliantly sustained short includes every element that made their work immortal. The timing is impeccable, not a moment is wasted, the pacing is perfect and the whole experience an enduring delight.
Dir: James Parrott
Stars: Stan Laurel, Oliver Hardy, Billy Gilbert, Charlie Hall
MUSIC BOX
1990
**
A lawyer defends her father who is accused of war crimes.
Topical, truthfully acted melodrama with absorbing courtroom sequences.
Dir: Costa-Gavras
Stars: Jessica Lange, Frederic Forrest, Armin Mueller-Stahl
THE MUSIC LOVERS
1970
*
The life and loves of Tchaikovsky.
Wild musical fantasia with great moments amid some tedium.
Dir: Ken Russell
Stars: Richard Chamberlain, Glenda Jackson, Max Adrian
THE MUSIC MAN
1962
**
A con man comes to a small Midwestern town but learns humility.
Energetic and colourful but hellishly overlong musical.
Dir: Morton DaCosta
Stars: Robert Preston, Shirley Jones, Buddy Hackett, Hermione Gingold
MUTINY ON THE BOUNTY
1935
***
An 18th century British ship sailing to the South Seas is the subject of a mutiny thanks to its cruel captain.
Splendid historical drama which looks about as fresh today as it did then - dialogue is slick, the spectacle is exciting and Laughton's performance is deliciously unpleasant; 1930s Hollywood at its very best.
Dir: Frank Lloyd
Stars: Charles Laughton, Clark Gable, Franchot Tone, Donald Crisp
MUTINY ON THE BOUNTY
1962
***
The 1935 version is still the better film, but this is a very satisfying picture whose lengthy running time shouldn't put viewers off. Yes, Brando's accent is overly plummy - and he apparently caused terrible problems on set - but the dramatics remain as engaging as ever, glorious Tahitian scenery is exploited to the full (the scenes there are essentially the ultimate western male's fantasy) and Howard is great as Bligh. The historical inaccuracies don't matter a jot.
Dir: Lewis Milestone
Stars: Marlon Brando, Trevor Howard, Richard Harris, Hugh Griffith, Richard Haydn
MUTINY ON THE BUSES
1972
0
A bus crew journeys to Windsor Safari Park.
Unbelievably egregious sitcom spin-off in which desperately weak jokes ebb out of uninteresting, stupid situations.
Dir: Harry Booth
Stars: Reg Varney, Bob Grant, Stephen Lewis, Doris Hare, Michael Robbins, Bob Todd, David Lodge
MY BARE LADY
1962
0
After an American tourist falls in a river she finds herself in a nudist camp.
Standard nudie film for the time, now impossibly dated of course, an unsubtle advert for the clothes-free lifestyle - but definitely not one that includes pubic hair. It's made up of nudist camp stock footage, a couple of lengthy flashbacks and much that's fairly hilarious; there are more painful experiences (several Ridley Scott movies, for instance). Look out for the milkman's bottom.
Dir: Arthur Knight
Stars: Carl Conway, Julie Martin, Nina Huntredos
MY BEAUTIFUL LAUNDRETTE
1985
*
A gay Asian struggles to improve his surroundings.
Unlikeable wallow in the unpleasant realities of life that gained some fashionable acclaim upon release; well made but not much fun.
Dir: Stephen Frears
Stars: Daniel Day-Lewis, Saeed Jaffrey, Roshan Seth
MY BEST FIEND
1999
**
Documentary about the tempestuous working relationship between director Herzog and actor Kinski, who made five films together.
Many of the anecdotes here are extraordinary (at one time Herzog thought about fire-bombing Kinski's house) but one regrets there's not more actual footage of spats rather than just Herzog relating them, in what is essentially an advert for his work.
Dir: Werner Herzog
Stars: Klaus Kinski
MY BLOODY VALENTINE
2009
0
A killer dressed as a miner threatens a local community.
Remake of the 1981 slasher film which exposes the original as not having a particularly good or solid story. A lot of effort's gone into the 3D, though.
Dir: Patrick Lussier
Stars: Jensen Ackles, Jaime King, Kerr Smith
MY DARLING CLEMENTINE
1946
**
Wyatt Earp comes to Tombstone, where he encounters Doc Holliday and the Clantons.
Subtle, sometimes lyrical Western which might mean most to Americans and/or fans of the genre. It's very well made, with great cinematography, but never quite explodes.
Dir: John Ford
Stars: Henry Fonda, Victor Mature, Linda Darnell, Cathy Downs
MY DEAR KILLER
1972
0
A detective investigates when a man is found decapitated by a lake.
Tortuous giallo which mostly tells its story with dialogue rather than imagery. Half way through you're really not sure who's done what to whom, how or where or why; there are a couple of inventive kills but mostly it's just laborious police work climaxing with a silly Agatha Christie-style denouement.
Dir: Tonino Valerii
Stars: George Hilton, Salvo Randone, William Berger
MY DINNER WITH ANDRE
1981
0
Two men go to a restaurant and talk to each other.
An unbelievably boring and irritating experience that’s nothing to do with cinema and everything to do with pretentious people spewing cod philosophy for the benefit of obnoxious critics. Cheque please!
Dir: Louis Malle
Stars: Wallace Shawn, Andre Gregory
MY FAIR LADY
1964
***
A linguistics professor takes on the challenge of converting a cockney flower girl into a lady of high society.
It drags a little towards the end, but this famous musical is largely a delight thanks to its pitch-perfect performances and splendid, witty songs.
Dir: George Cukor
Stars: Audrey Hepburn, Rex Harrison, Stanley Holloway, Wilfrid Hyde-White, Gladys Cooper, Jeremy Brett
MY FAMILY
1995
*
The trails of three generations of an immigrant family.
Long, sentimental, sometimes stilted drama redeemed by the loving care endowed upon it by the makers.
Dir: Gregory Nava
Stars: Jimmy Smits, Edward James Olmos, Esai Morales
MY FAVOURITE YEAR
1982
*
An aging film star keen on the sauce is due to appear on a live TV show.
Well made comedy that offers keen observations of early live TV production and gives the star his chance to act exactly like Errol Flynn.
Dir: Richard Benjamin
Stars: Peter O'Toole, Jessica Harper, Joseph Bologna
MY GENERATION
2017
*
Documentary about the 'Swinging Sixties', seen through the eyes of Michael Caine and other stars.
What's on the surface here is more impressive than what's below it: the imagery, of varying rareness, is super, the tunes smashing (and very familiar), the anecdotes from Caine and the others sometimes great, but there's virtually no sociopolitical grounding, and it all too readily buys into the discredited narrative that the Swinging Sixties were shared by all (read Dominic Sandbrook), that it was all sweetness and light - in reality taxes were sky-high, unions were rampant, snobbery was rife, religion still had considerable force, the food was rubbish and the pubs hardly open - and that it changed everything for the better: most of the soon-to-be-destructive post-modernist thinking started here. The airy-fairy sentiments aired are by people who should know better... but it's still a reasonable watch for popular culture fans. Debut cinema screenings were followed by a live Q&A with the still charming Caine.
Dir: David Batty
Narrator: Michael Caine
MY KID COULD PAINT THAT
2007
**
Documentary about a four-year-old girl whose paintings sell for huge sums of money.
The director claims he set out with the intention of making a film about the vagaries of the world of modern art but saw his project turn into something more when a TV show accused the Olmsteads of not being entirely honest about their daughter’s talents. It certainly makes for thought-provoking entertainment and compels the viewer to seek out further information on this very cute child ‘prodigy’.
Dir: Amir Bar-Lev
Stars: Marla Olmstead, Mark Olmstead, Laura Olmstead
MY LEARNED FRIEND
1943
**
An escaped murderer goes after those who put him away.
The climax on the face of Big Ben caps a chipper star vehicle, his final one.
Dir: Basil Dearden, Will Hay
Stars: Will Hay, Claude Hulbert, Mervyn Johns, Ernest Thesiger
MY LEFT FOOT
1989
*
The story of Christy Brown, the Irish artist and writer who was born with cerebral palsy.
This biopic doesn't do much that's hugely surprising and affection for it may be based on how the viewer rates Day-Lewis's performance, which is nothing if not committed and was, naturally, right up the Academy's street (the young actor playing Brown as a child comes off less well). Not always an easy watch, it has a relatively happy ending which may be a little way from the truth, if certain accounts are to be believed.
Dir: Jim Sheridan
Stars: Daniel Day-Lewis, Brenda Fricker, Alison Whelan, Ray McAnally
MY LITTLE EYE
2002
0
Five young people live together in an isolated house while being constantly watched by cameras.
Promising but desperately disappointing thriller; staid, clichéd plot development drowns in a sea of profanity.
Dir: Marc Evans
Stars: Sean CW Johnson, Kris Lemche, Stephen O'Reilly
MY LOVER, MY SON
1970
0
A rich woman has an unusual attachment to her son.
The frustration! This could have been good if a) it'd been much more daring and explicit, b) it'd been thoughtfully and skilfully made or c) a combination of both things. As it is, Waterman is dreadfully miscast, especially for us Brit viewers - a bland, pretty Euro boy would have been so much more appropriate.
Dir: John Newland
Stars: Romy Schneider, Dennis Waterman, Donald Houston, Patricia Brake
MY MAN GODFREY
1936
*
A rich socialite takes a derelict for a butler and falls in love with him.
Depression-era comedy that appears to be held in most affection in the US; it’s skilfully performed and a bit kooky but there’s nothing laugh-out-loud about it.
Dir: Gregory La Cava
Stars: William Powell, Carole Lombard, Alice Brady, Gail Patrick
MY NEIGHBOUR TOTORO
1988
0
Two little girls make a friend in a giant furry creature.
Placid cartoon that verges on the anodyne but is nicely animated, the backgrounds especially.
Dir: Hayao Miyazaki
Voices (English version): Dakota Fanning, Elle Fanning, Tim Daly
MY OLD LADY
2014
0
An American inherits a large property in Paris, but an elderly lady comes with it.
What was sold as a comedy is in fact a criminally dull drama that barely tries to escape its stage origins; it actually starts with some promise but descends into fiftysomethings bemoaning, at length, events that took place many years before.
Dir: Israel Horovitz
Stars: Kevin Kline, Kristin Scott Thomas, Maggie Smith
MY SCIENCE PROJECT
1985
0
Science subjects mistakenly make a dinosaur appear at their school.
Dismal comic fantasy that doesn't know where it's going.
Dir: Jonathan R Betuel
Stars: John Stockwell, Danielle von Zerneck, Fisher Stevens
MY SCIENTOLOGY MOVIE
2016
*
Documentary in which Louis Theroux heads to LA to examine the Scientology organisation.
Theroux has made some splendid documentaries over the years but this is one of his lesser ones. The problem is that he fails to drill into, in any meaningful way, this horrible and insidious cult, in part because he knew he wouldn't get interviews, and also that it had been done before (Going Clear (qv) is a better watch, as are the BBC's Panorama investigations). The result is a strange film that's never less than watchable, composed of (too many) actor reconstructions, wandering around bothering and being bothered by Scientology footsoldiers, and the presence of whistleblower Marty Rathbun, a curious, conflicted man. There's good stuff but it has to be termed a disappointment when you consider what Theroux might have done with the opportunity. Cinema screenings were followed by a live Q&A with the director and star.
Dir: John Dower
MY STEPMOTHER IS AN ALIEN
1988
0
A beautiful woman is really an alien on a mission.
Light, unpretentious comedy with nothing very surprising going on.
Dir: Richard Benjamin
Stars: Dan Aykroyd, Kim Basinger, Jon Lovitz, Alyson Hannigan
MY TUTOR
1983
*
A father keen for his son to pass his French exam hires a personal tutor, who happens to be an extremely attractive blonde.
There is of course all sorts of sexy promise in this storyline, and there are some nice scenes, but in the last half hour it loses impetus and settles for sentimentality. But the vibe of the times, that benign combination of freedom and innocence, as well as some lively action featuring heading-for-better-things Glover, means it remains fairly see-able.
Dir: George Bowers
Stars: Caren Kaye, Matt Lattanzi, Kevin McCarthy, Crispin Glover
MYRA BRECKINRIDGE
1970
0
A man has a sex change and comes back as a beautiful, man-hating woman.
Instantly hateable comedy, an unpleasant shambles, it resembles a really bad Russ Meyer film. Choose who's most ghastly: the ancient Mae West or the wildly over-acting Raquel Welch?
Dir: Michael Sarne
Stars: Mae West, John Huston, Raquel Welch, Rex Reed, Farrah Fawcett
MYSTERIOUS ISLAND
1961
*
During the American Civil War, POWs escape to an island inhabited by giant monsters.
Nice slice of escapism peopled by some terrific Ray Harryhausen nasties.
Dir: Cy Endfield
Stars: Michael Craig, Joan Greenwood, Herbert Lom
THE MYSTERIOUS MR WONG
1934
0
A reporter is captured by a Chinaman intent on finding valuable gold coins.
Inert guff shot in a few rooms, offering no thrills at all. Not for modern folk with delicate sensibilities and, despite its 50-minute running time, probably not for anyone else either, including Lugosi fans.
Dir: William Nigh
Stars: Bela Lugosi, Wallace Ford, Arline Judge
MYSTERIOUS TWO
1979 (TV)
0
A pair of aliens visit Earth to enrol travellers.
Bland sci-fi which wasn't even played by the network that ordered it.
Dir: Gary Sherman
Stars: John Forsythe, Priscilla Pointer
THE MYSTERY OF THE MARY CELESTE
1936
0
A musing on what might have happened on the ship that was found deserted on the high seas in 1872.
Creaky melodrama that is largely tiresome until the final ten minutes but is appropriately dark and stormy throughout, with some grit in its depiction of the sailors’ behaviour. It now seemingly exists only in a chopped down 62m version that is all too obviously lacking several excised scenes.
Dir: Denison Clift
Stars: Bela Lugosi, Arthur Margetson, Edmund Willard
MYSTERY OF THE WAX MUSEUM
1933
**
A reporter suspects that wax dummies at a museum are in fact dead bodies.
Sub plots and comic relief awkwardly stand alongside superior horror material which, in vibrant early Technicolor, is fiery and memorable.
Dir: Michael Curtiz
Stars: Lionel Atwill, Fay Wray, Glenda Farrell
MYSTERY ON MONSTER ISLAND
1981
0
Adventurers journey to a strange, remote island.
Six-year-olds might get something from this kooky Spanish production which is bookended by appearances from Stamp and Cushing: in between there's lots of bad acting (Sera is nondescript, Hatton is ridiculously OTT), and Doctor Who type monsters. Not one for anyone's CV, not even the best boy's.
Dir: Juan Piquer Simon
Stars: Ian Sera, David Hatton, Peter Cushing, Terence Stamp
MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000: THE MOVIE
1996
0
On a space station, a man and two robots watch Fifties sci-fi film This Island Earth.
Those into the TV series this is based on may have a ball, but those who aren't - which must include many Brits - may find it a weird and tedious exercise in triviality. The quips vary in funniness, from totally unfunny to mildly amusing, but the general concept is just irritating and silly, and, on the whole, rewatching This Island Earth would be preferable.
Dir: Jim Mallon
Stars: Trace Beaulieu, Michael J Nelson
MYSTERY TRAIN
1989
*
Three tales connected by a Memphis hotel and the spirit of Elvis Presley.
Arty drama which cleverly intermingles different narratives while showcasing some eccentric performances.
Dir: Jim Jarmusch
Stars: Screamin' Jay Hawkins, Joe Strummer, Jodie Markell, Steve Buscemi
MYSTIC PIZZA
1988
0
Three teenage girls learn about life and love while working at a pizza parlour.
Uninteresting domestic drama set in a washed-out landscape; of almost no appeal at all to the male population.
Dir: Donald Petrie
Stars: Annabeth Gish, Julia Roberts, Lili Taylor
MYSTIC RIVER
2003
**
In working class Boston, three men who shared a traumatic childhood experience are once again linked by a tragic murder.
Dark, murky drama whose implausibilities are masked by strong performances and generally firm handling of the material.
Dir: Clint Eastwood
Stars: Sean Penn, Tim Robbins, Kevin Bacon, Laurence Fishburne
MYSTIFY: MICHAEL HUTCHENCE
2019
**
Documentary about the charismatic but troubled lead singer of INXS.
An engrossing portrait of someone who in many ways was a typical artist, an emotionally delicate but talented figure who, although the film tends to play the fact down, led a vastly better life than most of us do. A wise editorial decision is not to use footage of talking heads but instead to use a mass of home movies and other material with their words over it. It's very good for keen fans, and pretty good for those with only a passing interest in Hutchence.
Dir: Richard Lowenstein
1988
0
An alien on the run from NASA is befriended by a boy in a wheelchair.
A movie to make you fill four sick bags, a cynical, tasteless and horrible chunk of sentiment made by fast food purveyors McDonald's, who make sure you know it.
Dir: Stewart Raffill
Stars: Christine Ebersole, Jonathan Ward
MACABRE
1980
*
When a woman’s lover is decapitated, she still can’t let him go.
The makers of this pleasingly twisted horror are a lot better at creating a strange, not-quite-right atmosphere than they are at padding the running time with character behaviour that develops suspense or makes sense; tighter editing would have improved it but the lurid finale makes up for some of the previous ambling.
Dir: Lamberto Bava
Stars: Bernice Stegers, Stanko Molnar, Veronica Zinny
MACBETH
1948
*
An 11th-century Scottish nobleman is persuaded to pursue the kingship by his ambitious wife.
The Scottish play, made cheaply in one month; the visuals are occasionally striking but it eventually succumbs to stodginess.
Dir: Orson Welles
Stars: Orson Welles, Jeanette Nolan, Dan O'Herlihy, Roddy McDowall, Alan Napier
MACBETH
1971
**
A bloody, dark version now deservedly recognised as the best of the Macbeths.
Dir: Roman Polanski
Stars: Jon Finch, Francesca Annis, Martin Shaw, Terence Bayler
MACBETH
1997
0
Cheesesparing version made for television but given a limited cinema release. The lack of budget, and attendant talent, drains it of interest in all sorts of ways, but it gives it a go, with some pluck on show. The end credits include hundreds of 'associate producers' who were obviously members of the public who put up money for its production - pity they didn't get one that was more than sound and fury. It's certainly proof that you need more than a good script to make a good film...
Dir: Jeremy Freeston
Stars: Jason Connery, Helen Baxendale, Graham McTavish, Hildegard Neil
MACBETH
2006
*
An adaptation that transports the action to the modern-day Melbourne underworld.
Trashily entertaining version that piles on the violence, drug abuse and nudity to varying degrees of success: much of the gravitas of the text is lost, Macbeth himself has become a drip and the climactic slow-motion shoot-out scenes don’t work at all, but it has an industrious approach and a boyish energy that plaster over some of the cracks. The very critical might say it’s neither good Shakespeare nor good mobster movie - Australian gangsters’ line readings are not what the world’s been waiting for and you’re not sure who it’s most meant to appeal to – but the Bard’s plays have been treated in much drier and sleepier fashions than this.
Dir: Geoffrey Wright
Stars: Sam Worthington, Victoria Hill, Steve Bastoni, Lachy Hulme
MACBETH
2015
*
Time for another revival of the Scottish play: this bloody version chooses not to link the play with any contemporary Scottish political issues, and also manages to dial down the characters' motivations (Lady Macbeth is as dull as ditchwater), submerging them in atmospheric, crepuscular visuals - the result is an intense, buzzing film, but one that's hard to feel close to.
Dir: Justin Kurzel
Stars: Michael Fassbender, Marion Cotillard, Paddy Considine, David Thewlis, Sean Harris
MACHETE KILLS
2013
*
Elderly warrior Machete is hired by the President to track down a mad arms dealer.
This sequel to a film inspired by a fake trailer in Grindhouse (qv) is most suitable for excitable teenage boys; for the rest of us its depressingly casual attitude to violence and death becomes wearying, only partly offset by the occasional dashes of invention and the starry cast. Unbelievably, the actor playing the emotionally and intellectually limited, but impressively physical, hero is pushing 70.
Dir: Robert Rodriguez
Stars: Danny Trejo, Mel Gibson, Amber Heard, Lady Gaga, Antonio Banderas, Charlie Sheen
THE MACHINIST
2005
*
An industrial worker who cannot sleep begins to doubt his sanity.
Relentlessly grim psychological thriller with a notable central performance, it sets up a trillion questions before its Memento-style denouement.
Dir: Brad Anderson
Stars: Christian Bale, Jennifer Jason Leigh, Michael Ironside
MACUMBA SEXUAL
1983
0
A woman has vivid dreams of a black princess, and then meets her.
Dreamlike erotica whose script can’t have taken up more than a couple of pages. If you’re in the mood for it it’s tolerable; if not it may induce lassitude despite the masses of nudity.
Dir: Jess Franco
Stars: Lina Romay, Ajita Wilson, Jess Franco, Antonio Mayans
MAD ABOUT MEN
1954
0
Miranda the mermaid falls in love with a human.
Sequel to Miranda (qv); a forgettable piece of whimsy.
Dir: Ralph Thomas
Stars: Glynis Johns, Donald Sinden, Margaret Rutherford, Joan Hickson, Irene Handl
MAD DOCTOR OF BLOOD ISLAND
1968
0
A doctor is creating zombies on a tropical island.
Snoozesome horror that's neither well made nor scary; excessive and repetitive zooming in and out is pretty much all that's in the directors' armour. The lead actor has perhaps been drugged.
Dir: Gerardo de Leon, Eddie Romero
Stars: John Ashley, Angelique Pettyjohn, Ronald Remy
MAD FOXES
1981
*
A man takes on a vicious biker gang.
Jaw-droppingly bad, this is a gloriously incompetent slice of sleaze that has to be seen to be believed. Its melange of amoral violence, brazen nudity (from both sexes) and Nazi emblems makes it the perfect flick for broad-minded trash movie fans. Beware of the exploding toilet!
Dir: Paul Grau
Stars: Jose Gras, Laura Premica, Andrea Albani
THE MAD GHOUL
1943
0
An unhinged biology professor turns one of his students into a part-time killer.
By no means among Universal's finest monster movies of the period, but Zucco gives good value as the mad scientist; there's some fun among the silliness.
Dir: James P Hogan
Stars: George Zucco, David Bruce, Evelyn Ankers, Robert Armstrong
MAD LOVE
1935
*
A mad surgeon obsessed with an actress replaces her hands with those of killer's.
Horror which is unlikely to have you on the edge of your seat in excitement, more likely sitting back admiring the style.
Dir: Karl Freund
Stars: Peter Lorre, Frances Drake, Colin Clive
THE MAD MAGICIAN
1954
*
A magician kills those he despises and takes on their personas.
Loopy but enjoyable low budget horror; one of the script's many crazy aspects is how Price thinks he could possibly get away with the murders. Thrown into a campy brew is 3D (cards are tossed at the camera, as is an arm extension), Mission: Impossible type masks, early fingerprint investigation, a female novelist/ sleuth, magic tricks (naturally) and some obvious dubbing of Price's voice as he pretends to be different people; much less fun times have been had at the cinema. Who doesn't like Vincent?
Dir: John Brahm
Stars: Vincent Price, Mary Murphy, Eva Gabor, John Emery
THE MAD MASTERS
1955
*
Documentary about strange rituals practised by men in West Africa.
A sort of precursor of later mondo movies, but feeling more organic and authentic than most of them, this short is among the strangest films you could ever watch. Reactions to it may vary wildly, with interpretations ranging from sympathy to scorn; the behaviour displayed in it, though, is so unhinged - including the killing of a dog - that a feeling of vague disgust should surely not be condemned. And to blame its antics on 'colonialism' seems bizarre.
Dir: Jean Rouch
1979
*
In a desolate future Australia, bikers murder a cop's family, but he strikes back.
Rather grim sci-fi which serves to set up the structure for its more actionful follow-up.
Dir: George Miller
Stars: Mel Gibson, Joanne Samuel, Steve Bisley
MAD MAX 2
1981
**
Max helps a community battle a gang of gas-hungry bandits.
A superior sequel which takes the series into another dimension, that of kinetic action and exhilarating sensation, as it carves out its own universe which consists of very little dialogue and much uncannily orchestrated violence, especially in the final quarter. It is almost all shot outdoors in daylight and has its own distinct personality; it's really no wonder they made action figures and vehicles inspired by it.
Dir: George Miller
Stars: Mel Gibson, Bruce Spence, Michael Preston
MAD MAX BEYOND THUNDERDOME
1985
*
Max aids a colony of lost children.
Second sequel which adopts a more earnest approach and doesn't really lift off until the final battle, although the visual style is consistently impressive.
Dir: George Miller, George Ogilvie
Stars: Mel Gibson, Tina Turner, Bruce Spence
MAD MAX: FURY ROAD
2015
***
Max assists a group of women escaping from a cruel despot.
Easily the best Mad Max movie, and who'd have thought that a 70-year-old director could make such a pulsating, energetic movie 30 years after he last visited the franchise? Uncompromising and unapologetic, its relentless drive (pun intended - nearly all of the film takes place on the move) is fairly remarkable, and the physical action on display gets the feet tapping; it also has a very strong visual sense, from the weird variety of characters to the strikingly lit deserts. Plot may be minimal, but this perhaps isn't such a bad thing; you can see films, TV series, videogames and comics following it up.
Dir: George Miller
Stars: Tom Hardy, Charlize Theron, Nicholas Hoult, Hugh Keays-Byrne
MAD MONSTER PARTY?
1967
*
Baron Frankenstein throws a party to celebrate his new invention and invites a whole host of famous monsters.
Stop-motion animation particularly suitable for young children, although some adults may have a good time too; it has a cute look, the gaggle of monsters (Frankenstein’s monster and his mate, Dracula, Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde, Invisible Man, Werewolf, Mummy, Hunchback, Creature and King Kong) is fun and a few have big personalities – it just goes on a wee bit too long. The title’s question mark is somewhat extraneous.
Dir: Jules Bass
Voices: Boris Karloff, Allen Swift, Gale Garnett, Phyllis Diller
THE MAD ROOM
1969
0
A woman brings her disturbed brother and sister into the house of the woman she looks after.
Boring, pointless and slightly irritating melodrama which comes to an underwhelming conclusion.
Dir: Bernard Girard
Stars: Stella Stevens, Shelley Winters, Skip Ward, Beverly Garland
MAD WEDNESDAY
1947
*
A former college football star attempts to capture his former glories by escaping from his dull job.
Weird, famously misfiring comic drama totally lacking in the uplifting qualities of the star's earlier works like, for instance, The Freshman, which starts this film.
Dir: Preston Sturges
Stars: Harold Lloyd, Jimmy Conlin, Raymond Walburn
MADAME CURIE
1943
**
Pierre Curie takes a wife and together they discover radium.
This biopic does a pretty good job of making what is a dry subject understandable and entertaining, in part thanks to the usual Hollywood tinkering but also due to a lovely cast. It gives an idea of what tough, endless research and endeavour can be like but not in a way that turns the viewer off.
Dir: Mervyn LeRoy
Stars: Greer Garson, Walter Pidgeon, Henry Travers, Albert Bassermann
MADAME SOUSATZKA
1988
*
An eccentric piano teacher finds it difficult to let her star pupil go.
Curious, flabby drama with a certain raw charm, possibly the result of the director wishing to get back to homespun domestic films. Not wholly a failure but littered with excisable scenes.
Dir: John Schlesinger
Stars: Shirley MacLaine, Peggy Ashcroft, Twiggy, Navin Chowdhry, Geoffrey Bayldon
MADE
1972
*
A troubled single mother takes up with a rock star.
Based on a play apparently inspired by The Beatles' 'Eleanor Rigby', this is fitfully successful, but only fitfully (the original author disliked it): it lacks a tight focus, and too many scenes drift, particularly those with non-actor Harper. Still, the location shooting is bracing and its efforts to vigorously embrace real life are admirable (if mixed - the football riot scene doesn't really work); it's also a precise snapshot of cultural behaviour in the middle of several decades in which it changed tremendously - some of its philosophising is inevitably dated.
Dir: John Mackenzie
Stars: Carol White, Roy Harper, John Castle, Doremy Vernon
MADHOUSE
1974
*
An actor famous for playing a character called Dr Death finds that many of his friends and colleagues are dying around him.
In-jokey horror with a star performance to be relished, from the days when British horror films were cosy and fun rather than unpleasant and 'realistic'.
Dir: Jim Clark
Stars: Vincent Price, Peter Cushing, Robert Quarry, Adrienne Cori, Linda Hayden
MADHOUSE
1981
0
A woman’s evil twin may be responsible for several killings.
Fortuitously blacklisted in the UK, this decent looking horror lacks momentum and makes little sense, though it does have a couple of gory highlights: a man having his hand chewed off and a dog with a drill through its head. It was released uncut on DVD in 2004, but the sound quality is appalling.
Dir: Ovidio G Assonitis
Stars: Trish Everly, Michael MacRae, Dennis Robertson, Alison Biggers
MADMAN
1982
0
Summer camp youths inadvertently summon a serial killer to butcher them.
Horrendous slasher flick in which brainless characters move around slowly and ineptly.
Dir: Joe Giannone
Stars: Tony Fish, Jan Claire
MAESTRO
2023
**
The life of composer-conductor Leonard Bernstein, mainly focusing on his marriage to actress Felicia Montealegre.
Dizzyingly stylish but not really telling a strong story (there's probably one to be told, but it doesn't come across here), this bitty biopic of creative folk is shot in black and white for its early years and colour for the latter, and doesn't get under Bernstein or Montealegre's skins. Scenes of people talking over one another and laughing at things that aren't funny to the audience are annoyingly frequent, while Bernstein comes across as an unfaithful sleazebag, if a very talented one. It's made with care and apparent affection but is often guilty of leaving the audience cold - towards the end the focus on the wife's illness succeeds in making us feel a bit more.
Dir: Bradley Cooper
Stars: Bradley Cooper, Carey Mulligan, Matt Bomer
THE MAGGIE
1953
**
An American businessman in Scotland is conned into using a coal-powered steamer.
Memorably etched Ealing comedy cannily showcasing the difference between brash, new-world Americans and set-in-their-ways Scots. Shot in lovely black and white.
Dir: Alexander Mackendrick
Stars: Paul Douglas, Alex Mackenzie, James Copeland, Geoffrey Keen, Andrew Keir
MAGIC
1978
*
A ventriloquist's dummy seems to have an overbearing influence on his life.
The nasty puppet movie makes a return, in a somewhat grim and grotty project that is atypical of its director; it's a decent enough yarn, though, with strong performances (even if Hopkins' American accent comes and goes) and a suitably scary dummy. By no means completely satisfying, it's probably best approached as a film about the human mind and the conflicts between individuals, with a reliable symbol of horror cinema thrown in.
Dir: Richard Attenborough
Stars: Anthony Hopkins, Ann-Margret, Burgess Meredith, Ed Lauter
THE MAGIC BOX
1951
*
The life of William Friese-Greene, an early pioneer in cinema.
A showcase for 1951's Festival of Britain, this is a decent stab at a biopic of a forgotten man, with Donat once again ageing in the process of playing his character. It's perhaps a little short on excitement or incident - and would it have been better in chronological order? - but there are some good scenes, most notably the one where Friese-Greene demonstrates his new invention to a policeman (expertly played by Olivier). There are many, many British character actors in it besides those listed below.
Dir: John Boulting
Stars: Robert Donat, Maria Schell, Renee Asherson, Laurence Olivier, Richard Attenborough, Michael Hordern
THE MAGIC CHRISTIAN
1969
0
The world's richest man adopts a tramp to be his son, and together they seek to see what people will do for money.
There are plenty of novel ideas and famous faces in this black comedy but it doesn't hang together in satisfactory fashion - it comes as little surprise to learn that some of it was made up as they went along. Its unwelcome predisposition seems to be to 'punch down', mocking people for their desire for money; because of those involved it holds a minor place in British Sixties cultural history but it never could be called a successful project. They had fun making it, though.
Dir: Joseph McGrath
Stars: Peter Sellers, Ringo Starr, Isabel Jeans, Wilfrid Hyde-White, Richard Attenborough, Laurence Harvey, Christopher Lee, Spike Milligan, Roman Polanski, Raquel Welch, Hattie Jacques
MAGIC IN THE MOONLIGHT
2014
**
In Twenties South of France, a magician seeks to debunk a successful psychic, but begins to think she might be genuine.
Another well formed petit piece by Allen, whose filmmaking technique is as sure-handed and professional as ever, remarkable considering his prodigious output and age. It may be quite light and mild but it probes deeper themes, asking whether we should take the irrational path if that is where happiness lies, and is pleasingly old-fashioned in style and in civilised behaviour (the British 12A certificate was absurdly harsh). On top of that, Firth is ebullient, the photography is lovely and there are even a few chuckles.
Dir: Woody Allen
Stars: Colin Firth, Emma Stone, Marcia Gay Harden, Hamish Linklater
THE MAGIC OF LASSIE
1978
0
A boy is heartbroken when his collie is sold.
Weak revamp of Lassie Come Home for youngsters only.
Dir: Don Chaffey
Stars: James Stewart, Mickey Rooney, Alice Faye
THE MAGIC TOYSHOP
1987
0
After her parents die, a girl is sent to live with her uncle, an odd and unpleasant toy maker.
Strange fantasy with similarities to The Company Of Wolves in that it examines a girl's journey into puberty, sometimes over-garnishing the tale with a superfluity of special effects.
Dir: David Wheatley
Stars: Caroline Milmoe, Tom Bell, Kilian McKenna
MAGICAL MYSTERY TOUR
1967 (TV)
*
The Beatles and friends have a psychedelic journey around England.
Ill-planned and often self indulgent nonsense from the heady days of psychedelia, this poorly received Boxing Day trip is pretty amateur, and even the Beatles' personalities (which are quite muted here) and their top drawer music struggle to salvage it (the high point is I Am The Walrus); however, even though there are dire bits, there are also lovely moments, and it now has the air of a fondly remembered summer holiday when England was a good place, the Beatles bestrode it, and efforts were made to create surreal and thought-provoking art for the masses. Restored and remastered in 2012, and the subject of a BBC Arena documentary, it earned more credibility as an influence on various films and TV shows that followed, thanks to its free-thinking attitude and camera effects.
Dir: The Beatles
Stars: The Beatles, Victor Spinetti, Jessie Robins, Vivian Stanshall, Ivor Cutler, Jan Carson
THE MAGICIAN
1926
*
An evil magician hypnotises a young woman to leave her man and marry him instead.
This doomy adaptation of Somerset Maugham’s frequently surprising novel is predictably simplified and more like the sort of horror Universal would trade in the following decade; Wegener is quite fun in his dastardly role and the castle on the hill is an effective image, amongst a few others. Thankfully not a lost film as was once thought.
Dir: Rex Ingram
Stars: Paul Wegener, Alice Terry, Ivan Petrovich
THE MAGICIAN
1958
**
A travelling magic group is stopped and humiliated by sceptical town officials; a revenge is planned.
Full of interesting themes and ideas, this unusual drama probably meant a lot to the director and is certainly among his best shot pictures, being full of visual richness; perhaps it departs from its central story a little too often, lessening the tension, but then again, who are we to pick holes in Bergman?
Dir: Ingmar Bergman
Stars: Max von Sydow, Ingrid Thulin, Gunnar Bjornstrand, Bibi Andersson
THE MAGICIAN
2005
0
A hit man goes about his daily business.
Low budget mock documentary not without merit, but bogged down by a superfluity of talk.
Dir: Scott Ryan
Stars: Scott Ryan, Ben Walker, Massimiliano Andrighetto
THE MAGNET
1950
0
A boy has problems after taking a powerful magnet from a younger boy.
Weirdly misfiring Ealing comedy that plays like a Children's Film Foundation movie with better cinematography; the sound is poor, the locations fresh, the story not interesting.
Dir: Charles Frend
Stars: James Fox (as William Fox), Stephen Murray, Kay Walsh, Meredith Edwards
THE MAGNETIC MONSTER
1953
*
A newly discovered radioactive element threatens to throw the Earth off its axis.
Brisk, business-like sci-fi about the dangers of nuclear power, it offers much science-y stuff and a Dragnet style narration. Some (younger viewers in particular) might be disappointed that the 'monster' isn't really what you'd expect of a monster; however, the climactic scenes are quite striking: in fact, they look like they're from another film - which they were (1934 German SF movie Gold). How funny that the main computer in it is known as MANIAC.
Dir: Curt Siodmak
Stars: Richard Carlson, King Donovan, Jean Byron, Harry Ellerbe
THE MAGNIFICENT AMBERSONS
1942
**
The trials of a wealthy mid-19th century family.
Welles's follow-up to Citizen Kane remains in that film's shadow despite its many qualities; studio interference is evident in the final, recut version and weakens its impact and flow. Whisper it quietly, but perhaps this talky period drama always was a little on the dull side, with a damaging one-note performance by Holt.
Dir: Orson Welles
Stars: Joseph Cotten, Dolores Costello, Tim Holt, Anne Baxter, Agnes Moorehead. Narrator: Orson Welles
THE MAGNIFICENT SEVEN
1960
**
A Mexican peasant village under attack hires seven gunfighters to protect them.
Western reworking of Seven Samurai with a terrific cast, epic landscapes and one of the most memorable music scores of the decade. The script is a little less reliable - albeit with some intelligent messages about the importance of bravery and what it means to be a man - as it doesn't quite ramp up the tension to hoped-for levels, while the final shoot-out disappoints a little. Still, not many movies show up on television quite as often as this one.
Dir: John Sturges
Stars: Yul Brynner, Steve McQueen, James Coburn, Charles Bronson, Robert Vaughn, Brad Dexter, Horst Buchholz, Eli Wallach
THE MAGNIFICENT SEVEN DEADLY SINS
1971
0
Short comic tales based on the Seven Deadly Sins, with brief animation in between them.
Mostly very poor comedy in which several familiar faces fail to raise a laugh. Avarice is an okay starter which gets silly; Greed is more irritating still; Gluttony is absurd and off-putting (who could ever believe that Leslie Phillips would prefer food to Julie Ege?); Lust is one of the better ones, a little odd but touching in a melancholic fashion at its conclusion; Pride is a bit of a toil; black and white Sloth might be the best segment, featuring Spike Milligan's strange, surreal sketches; and Wrath, which manages to be neither funny nor sympathetic. It's a shame: this might have been a classic with the right handling.
Dir: Graham Stark
Stars: Bruce Forsyth, Bernard Bresslaw, Joan Sims, Harry Secombe, June Whitfield, Leslie Phillips, Julie Ege, Harry H Corbett, Ian Carmichael, Alfie Bass, Spike Milligan, Ronnie Barker, Ronald Fraser, Stephen Lewis
MAGNOLIA
1999
***
Various lives interconnect on a stormy day in LA.
A cluster of unhappy, neurotic and unbalanced people thrown into a murky soup; the result is a meandering, moody, largely compelling giant of a movie which has shades of grandiloquence but wins through and pulls out all the stops for a couple of audacious set pieces in its latter stages.
Dir: Paul Thomas Anderson
Stars: Tom Cruise, Julianne Moore, Jason Robards, Philip Seymour Hoffman, William H Macy, John C Reilly, Philip Baker Hall, Melora Walters, Alfred Molina
MAGNUM FORCE
1973
**
Harry Callahan goes after vigilante cops who are executing criminals themselves.
The follow-up to Dirty Harry is another juicy slice of dark and dangerous San Franciscan police business (with cracking location work), steeped in that glorious, heady mid-Seventies feel; while not as electrifying as its predecessor it's an enjoyable film by men for men, with plenty of pulsating, brutal sequences that exhibit the skill of the stunt, editing and violence departments. And, of course, Eastwood is imperious.
Dir: Ted Post
Stars: Clint Eastwood, Hal Holbrook, David Soul, Mitchell Ryan
THE MAID
1990
0
A businessman becomes the maid to a beautiful woman he has fallen in love with.
Old fashioned comedy drama which 50 years previously would have starred Hope and Lamour and not have been so conspicuous by its inoffensiveness.
Dir: Ian Toynton
Stars: Martin Sheen, Jacqueline Bisset, Victoria Shalet
THE MAIN CHANCE
1964
0
A gambler is asked to smuggle a valuable package into the country.
Adequate if somewhat uninspired entry into the Edgar Wallace Mysteries series, which didn't have much longer to run.
Dir: John Knight
Stars: Gregoire Aslan, Tracy Reed, Edward de Souza
THE MAJESTIC
2001
*
In 1951, a blacklisted Hollywood writer has a car accident, loses his memory, and winds up in a village where he is mistaken for a long lost son.
Slightly absurd Capraesque drama which seems like the result of a lot of things thrown together. They don't quite gel but at least it's a return to wholesome moviemaking.
Dir: Frank Darabont
Stars: Jim Carrey, Bob Balaban, Hal Holbrook, Martin Landau
A MAJORITY OF ONE
1961
0
A Brooklyn widow and a Japanese man fall for one another.
An example of a film that tries to be as modern and non-prejudicial as possible but would now be rejected as not being 'woke' enough, not least for Guinness playing a Japanese man. It's also incredibly long and elegantly tedious and, while being an interesting snapshot of where culture towards race was at the time, is just not something you could ever watch twice - or even once without great patience.
Dir: Mervyn LeRoy
Stars: Rosalind Russell, Alec Guinness, Ray Danton, Madlyn Rhue
MAKE MINE MINK
1960
*
Ageing ex-soldiers go on a robbing spree stealing minks.
Mild comedy which never quite hits the spot.
Dir: Robert Asher
Stars: Terry-Thomas, Hattie Jacques, Billie Whitelaw, Irene Handl, Kenneth Williams
MAKE WAY FOR TOMORROW
1937
**
An elderly couple are forced apart when they have to sell their home.
The On Golden Pond of its day, but better; a touching – if not wildly exciting – story of two people who still deeply love each other after many years (although you’d have thought if it was that deep they’d take separation rather harder than they do). There are several nice sequences, like the rocking chair/phone/bridge ones, that demonstrate McCarey at his best.
Dir: Leo McCarey
Stars: Victor Moore, Beulah Bondi, Fay Bainter, Thomas Mitchell
MAKING MR RIGHT
1987
0
A reclusive scientist builds a robot that looks exactly like him to go on a space mission.
Tired, salacious comedy with that familiar sort of robot that simply isn't funny any more.
Dir: Susan Seidelman
Stars: John Malkovich, Ann Magnuson, Glenne Headly
MAKO: THE JAWS OF DEATH
1976
0
A man who has the ability to swim with the sharks gets into trouble in a small town.
Batty thriller made on a low budget and frequently in darkness; it has a sort of silly, endearing charm for trash movie fans, and might be essential for 'Jaws-inspired movies' completists. Amusingly, Harold Sakata is billed as Harold 'Odd Job' Sakata - but perhaps it was wise, as he's fairly dreadful here.
Dir: William Grefe
Stars: Richard Jaeckel, Jennifer Bishop, Harold Sakata
MALABIMBA
1979
0
A young woman is possessed by a perverted ghost that causes her to seduce to death the men around her.
Loopy exploiter which very much focuses on the sins of the flesh.
Dir: Andrea Bianchi
Stars: Katell Laennec, Patrizia Webley, Enzo Fisichella
MALAMONDO
1964
0
Documentary that vaguely condemns wayward youthful behaviour, including nude skiing, the killing of a pig, a game of dare on an elevator, bikers racing for the prize of a woman, and plenty more.
There are various problems with this mondo movie, one of which is that much of it is obviously faked or heavily manipulated, but also that what it presents seems terribly passé or risible nowadays - since most of the participants will now be dead or pensioners perhaps that's not surprising, although many sequences do go on far too long and are genuinely tedious. As ever with these type of films though, the manner of it is otherwordly strange and it freezes in time some attitudes of the day.
Dir: Paolo Cavara
Narrator: Marvin Miller
MALIBU BEACH
1978
0
Teens spend time at the beach.
Plotless teen comedy of incomparable tedium.
Dir: Robert J Rosenthal
Stars: Kim Lankford, James Daughton, Susan Player
MALICE
1993
*
A surgeon has a terrible affect on a young couple's lives.
Early on all seems perspicuous and predictable; later it's a little confusing; by the end you smile at its audacity.
Dir: Harold Becker
Stars: Alec Baldwin, Nicole Kidman, Bill Pullman, George C Scott, Anne Bancroft
MALIZIA
1973
0
Both father and son are attracted to the beautiful new maid...
As is oft the case, not as pleasing as the posters or promo photos: despite the enticing sounding plotline, this slightly comic drama doesn't satisfy because the tone is inconsistent and many of the characters' behaviour is odd (why, for example, Antonelli's character's bows down before Momo's, is a mystery). It just doesn't attract, the Italians are as jabbery as ever, and if you watch a badly subtitled version it's even more irritating.
Dir: Salvatore Samperi
Stars: Laura Antonelli, Turi Ferro, Alessandro Momo
THE MALPAS MYSTERY
1960
0
A girl gets into more trouble as soon as she is released from prison.
Too much mystery for its own good: a complicated crime drama with a dizzying amount of characters, many of whom act in sometimes strange ways. Sort of part of the Edgar Wallace Mysteries but not made at Merton Studios.
Dir: Sidney Hayers
Stars: Allan Cuthbertson, Sandra Dorne, Leslie French, Geoffrey Keen
MALPERTUIS
1971
*
People are unable to escape a labyrinth they are placed in, even after death.
Weird nonsense with some pretensions to style, occasionally cited as 'the best film ever made in Belgium'.
Dir: Harry Kumel
Stars: Orson Welles, Susan Hampshire, Michel Bouquet
THE MALTESE FALCON
1941
***
Sam Spade, a private detective, searches for a valuable statuette.
The archetypal Bogart vehicle, this remake of a 1931 crime drama is among the finest of its kind; splendid dialogue is densely packed into a tight, fiercely controlled structure.
Dir: John Huston
Stars: Humphrey Bogart, Mary Astor, Peter Lorre, Sydney Greenstreet
MAMA DRACULA
1980
0
A female vampire desperately searches for virgins so she can bathe in their blood.
Worthless comic horror with unattractive characters.
Dir: Boris Szulzinger
Stars: Louise Fletcher, Maria Schneider
MAMMA MIA!
2008
*
A girl getting married on a Greek island invites three older men, one of whom is her father, although she doesn’t know which one.
This film of the incredibly popular long-running stage musical could hardly fail, and sure enough it was a huge hit, particularly with the fairer sex; it may endure as a perennial favourite too, despite some variable singing and a paper-thin plot. But then people only ever went to see it for the songs and the feel-good factor anyway.
Dir: Phyllida Lloyd
Stars: Meryl Streep, Pierce Brosnan, Colin Firth, Stellan Starsgard, Julie Walters, Amanda Seyfried, Christine Baranski
MAMMA MIA! HERE WE GO AGAIN
2018
*
Sophie falls pregnant while learning more about her mother's past.
Predictably a big summer hit, and a more summery film could hardly be conceived of: whether it's actually any good is more debatable, being an airy-fairy concoction told in two barely different feeling time zones - it's not even clear that there actually is a plot. Many of the numbers are fun, especially Waterloo and Souper Trouper, but even big Abba fans may not be familiar with three or four of the numbers - they're song choices that seem odd, because there are many fab Abba songs that haven't been used in either of these movies (People Need Love, He Is Your Brother, So Long and Ring Ring come to mind). An inoffensive, lighter-than-air trifle for those in the mood.
Dir: Ol Parker
Stars: Lily James, Amanda Seyfried, Pierce Brosnan, Colin Firth, Stellan Starsgard, Julie Walters, Christine Baranski, Cher, Dominic Cooper, Meryl Streep
MAN ABOUT THE HOUSE
1974
0
A property developer tries to force a group of friends out of their flat.
By the 1970s Hammer was making film versions of popular TV sitcoms and this is a fairly typical example, offering moderate, of-its-time humour rather than the 'hilarious adventures' promised by the poster. Present day viewers will be a bit bemused by it all, with its small plot about property development (with too much time given to Cellier), its sex-obsessed characters, especially O'Sullivan's and Joyce's, and its general inconsequentiality. As often, the London locations and the unavoidable social snippets give it some value, and Spike Milligan's cameo is fun.
Dir: John Robins
Stars: Richard O'Sullivan, Paula Wilcox, Sally Thomsett, Brian Murphy, Yootha Joyce, Peter Cellier
MAN ALIVE
1945
0
A man pretends he is dead to find out whether his wife really loves him.
Unfunny comedy in dubious taste.
Dir: Ray Enright
Stars: Pat O'Brien, Adolphe Menjou, Ellen Drew
MAN AT THE CARLTON TOWER
1961
0
Police are flummoxed by a jewel robbery and several murders.
The usual sort of Edgar Wallace mystery, a fug of exposition, smoking and devious behaviour. There's a character called Sergeant Pepper in it.
Dir: Robert Tronson
Stars: Maxine Audley, Lee Montague, Allan Cuthbertson, Terence Alexander
MAN AT THE TOP
1973
0
Businessman Joe Lampton uncovers corruption in his pharmaceutical firm.
Those who hadn’t seen the television series on which this is based would have liked this sexed up but wintry version even less than those who had, probably perceiving it as just a dull film about big business, fronted by an unlikeable lead character. Its plot isn't a goer, and its bitterness shines through, often relayed in long sequences of talk. The only Hammer film with an F word in it.
Dir: Mike Vardy
Stars: Kenneth Haigh, Nanette Newman, Harry Andrews, William Lucas
MAN BITES DOG
1992
***
A camera crew follows a serial killer on his daily routine.
Fascinating blacker-than-black comedy which rips the skin off the knuckles to make its point. There's certainly no other film like it.
Dir: Remy Belvaux
Stars: Benoit Poelvoorde
MAN DETAINED
1961
*
A businessman involved in crime doesn't wish to report the theft of £10,000.
There are rarely any big surprises in the Edgar Wallace Mysteries, but this one, like most of the others, trots along happily enough, and plenty of location shooting freshens it.
Dir: Robert Tronson
Stars: Bernard Archard, Elvi Hale, Paul Stassino, Michael Coles
A MAN ESCAPED
1956
***
A French Resistance activist plans his escape from a Nazi camp.
Absorbing war drama, exquisitely made, it concentrates entirely on the man's efforts to get free.
Dir: Robert Bresson
Stars: Francois Leterrier, Charles Le Clainche
A MAN FOR ALL SEASONS
1966
**
Thomas More and King Henry VIII clash over the King's plans to leave the Catholic Church.
This filming of Robert Bolt's play was showered with all manner of plaudits on release but now seems a rather static and uninvolving slice of cinema, more intent on keeping the costumes unruffled than reaching out to a modern audience.
Dir: Fred Zinnemann
Stars: Paul Scofield, Wendy Hiller, Leo McKern, Robert Shaw, Orson Welles, Susannah York, Nigel Davenport, John Hurt, Corin Redgrave, Colin Blakely, Yootha Joyce
THE MAN FROM NOWHERE
1975
0
In Victorian times, a young girl is plagued by a mysterious man with a beard and top hat.
Typically milky Children's Film Foundation yarn which goes for the record of 'but he was here just a minute ago'-type scenes but must have jolted its young audiences with the sudden appearances of the Man from Nowhere, which are accompanied by a screeching electronic note.
Dir: James Hill
Stars: Sarah Hollis-Andrews, Ronald Adam, Anthony McCaffery
THE MAN FROM PLANET X
1951
0
A Scottish village receives a visitor from outer space - but is he friendly?
Aliens started visiting the cinematic Earth rather a lot in the Fifties: this was apparently the first time, with The Man a splendid looking if slightly weedy individual - his antics are shrouded in fog to mask the tiny budget (it can't mask some of the dodgy accents). Not unpleasing, it nevertheless has an uneven script that fails to build up a head of steam.
Dir: Edgar G Ulmer
Stars: Robert Clarke, Margaret Field, Raymond Bond
THE MAN FROM THE FUTURE
2011
*
A scientist travels back in time to try and rectify a past mistake he made.
Initially intriguing Brazilian sci-fi, a variant on familiar lines, that eventually falls foul to its own tangled, illogical plot and inconsistent characterisation; its unlikeable lead, unconvincing relationships and over-use of music don't help much either.
Dir: Claudio Torres
Stars: Wagner Moura, Alinne Moraes, Maria Luisa Mendonca
THE MAN FROM UNCLE
2015
0
During the Cold War, an American and Russian spy team up.
What is this? Ostensibly it's an updating of the 1960s TV series given a stylish look and hunky leads, but it utterly fails to engage, fails to have a personality, and fails, essentially, to have a reason to exist. A bizarre, bewildering and boring movie - no wonder they had trouble marketing it.
Dir: Guy Ritchie
Stars: Henry Cavill, Armie Hammer, Alicia Vikander, Elizabeth Debicki, Hugh Grant
THE MAN IN BLACK
1949
0
After a man dies, greedy relatives battle for his fortune.
Adequate mystery programmer, a bit of a plodder, with the novelty value of Sid James as a posh gent. The title doesn't refer to anything in the story itself, but to Valentine Dyall, who presents it.
Dir: Francis Searle
Stars: Sid James, Betty Anne Davis, Sheila Burrell, Valentine Dyall
THE MAN IN GREY
1943
*
In olden times, a young woman marries a cruel aristocrat.
A big film in its day, this Gainsborough costume drama paved the way for many other gothic pictures; now it's a good deal less impactful than it was, meandering somewhat. Perhaps the 90 minute version is preferable, as opposed to the near-two hour one.
Dir: Leslie Arliss
Stars: Margaret Lockwood, James Mason, Phyllis Calvert, Stewart Granger
A MAN IN LOVE
1987
0
An American film star and a British actress have a passionate relationship in Rome.
Ponderous rubbish which thinks itself far better than it is.
Dir: Diane Kurys
Stars: Peter Coyote, Greta Scacchi, Jamie Lee Curtis
MAN IN THE ATTIC
1953
0
A couple suspect that their strange-acting new lodger is Jack the Ripper.
Perfunctory version of The Lodger with too many dancing girls and not enough foggy London streets. The resolution it chooses might make some audiences – particularly those not familiar with the Hitchcock film – wonder exactly what the mystery was meant to be.
Dir: Hugo Fregonese
Stars: Jack Palance, Constance Smith, Byron Palmer, Frances Bavier
THE MAN IN THE BACK SEAT
1961
*
Two incompetent crooks bungle a theft from a racecourse.
Simply everything goes wrong for our likely lads in this darkish thriller which has as many loud rows as an episode of EastEnders and practically turns into a comedy thanks to its farcical nature (1989's Weekend At Bernie's comes to mind while watching it). But it's effectively shot, mostly in a car, in night-time London and Nesbitt is magnetic, giving the sort of distinctive performance he could always be relied upon to give.
Dir: Vernon Sewell
Stars: Derren Nesbitt, Keith Faulkner, Carol White
THE MAN IN THE IRON MASK
1939
**
Louis XIV keeps his twin brother imprisoned in an iron mask.
Exhausting swashbuckler made with some vigour.
Dir: James Whale
Stars: Louis Hayward, Joan Bennett, Warren William, Alan Hale
THE MAN IN THE MIRROR
1936
0
A meek man’s more commanding reflection steps out of the mirror and takes control of his life.
This old fashioned comedy would lend itself to a modern remake, and hopefully one with a bit more meat on the bones: the nice idea isn’t taken very far and ambitions remain modest. Decent trick effects, though.
Dir: Maurice Elvey
Stars: Edward Everett Horton, Genevieve Tobin, Ursula Jeans, Alastair Sim
MAN IN THE MOON
1960
0
Scientists search for a suitable candidate to be first man on the moon.
Fairly indifferent comedy which starts mildly before turning into a daft fantasy.
Dir: Basil Dearden
Stars: Kenneth More, Shirley Anne Field, Michael Hordern, Charles Gray
THE MAN IN THE WHITE SUIT
1951
***
A man invents a fabric that won't wear out, but creates a whole lot of trouble by doing so.
Biting, sharply scripted satirical comedy that's among Ealing's finest efforts, and, along with the Boulting brothers' I'm All Right Jack, the cinema's most withering focus on British industry.
Dir: Alexander Mackendrick
Stars: Alec Guinness, Joan Greenwood, Cecil Parker, Michael Gough, Ernest Thesiger, Howard Marion Crawford, Edie Martin
MAN MADE MONSTER
1940
*
A crazy scientist turns a man into an electrically-controlled monster.
Palatable horror with above-average special effects.
Dir: George Waggner
Stars: Lionel Atwill, Lon Chaney Jr, Anne Nagel
MAN OF A THOUSAND FACES
1957
**
The life of silent movie star Lon Chaney, who played many a monster on screen.
Slightly fictionalised but always compelling biopic with an admirable lead performance.
Dir: Joseph Pevney
Stars: James Cagney, Dorothy Malone, Jane Greer
MAN OF FLOWERS
1983
0
An elderly man writes letters to his dead mother, enjoys fine art and watches young women undress.
Monotonous drama which isn't as good as it thinks it is; the over-use of opera gets on the nerves and the characters aren't at all believable, especially the young artist.
Dir: Paul Cox
Stars: Norman Kaye, Alyson Best, Chris Haywood
MAN OF STEEL
2013
*
A baby is sent from the doomed planet of Krypton to Earth, where he grows up to be Superman, who battles the despotic General Zod.
It starts like Avatar and ends like a tasteless riff on 9/11, but this take on Siegel and Shuster's character is watchable enough, a decent superhero movie with the usual incredible special effects and impressively robust action sequences. It does lack heart and humour though, and characterisation and chemistry is pretty low on the agenda; it's also a pity the whole thing had to have a grey wash.
Dir: Zack Snyder
Stars: Henry Cavill, Amy Adams, Michael Shannon, Russell Crowe
MAN OF THE WEST
1958
**
A reformed outlaw is forced back together with his old gang members.
This very much feels like a bridging point between old Westerns and new-style Westerns that were grimmer, darker and more violent (it's appropriate that Cooper's character is called Link...). It's also a bit deeper in meaning than many seen previously, as the lawman struggles to fight his dark side and escape his dark past - in essence, the reverse of where this movie is in the genre. The sprawling landscape the dubious characters operate on is superbly captured by the cinematographer and the film is worth catching, though some might find its pace too measured.
Dir: Anthony Mann
Stars: Gary Cooper, Lee J Cobb, Julie London, Arthur O'Connell
MAN OF VIOLENCE
1969
0
An unprincipled loan operator is hired to track down gold bullion by two different lots of criminals.
Talky, complex thriller which doesn't offer a lot of joy other than Luan Peters' charms and some period detail; absolutely impossible to follow, it’s full of scenes that were crying out to be excised or more tightly edited and, although it was his best shot film at the time, is a long way from the director’s Frightmare and House Of Whipcord apogees (or Get Carter, a movie in the same vein, released a year or so later). A 2009 DVD/Blu-ray release offered a lovingly restored version and showed off the fashions and London and North African locations in all their glory.
Dir: Pete Walker
Stars: Michael Latimer, Luan Peters, Derek Aylward, Maurice Kaufmann, Derek Francis
THE MAN ON THE EIFFEL TOWER
1949
0
A killer taunts the French police.
A weird crime thriller, choppy and involved, and far too long, which gets plus points for the cast and the sunny Paris locations, which could barely have been utilised more, including during the silly finale on the titular tower.
Dir: Burgess Meredith
Stars: Charles Laughton, Franchot Tone, Burgess Meredith, Robert Hutton
MAN ON THE MOON
1999
***
The life of eccentric comedian Andy Kaufman.
A biopic that asks more questions (about the nature of comedy, art, reality and life) than it has answers, and never gets to the core of its central character, but is engrossing and quirky and gives Carrey a chance to show off his comic genius.
Dir: Milos Forman
Stars: Jim Carrey, Danny DeVito, Gerry Becker
MAN ON WIRE
2008
**
Documentary about a high wire artist’s 'artistic crime of the century', when he walked between the two towers of the World Trade Centre in 1974.
A tale of a remarkable man who performed a remarkable feat, one of gusto, daring and indomitable spirit; it can be contrasted with the despicable, destructive and cowardly actions of utterly pathetic people in 2001.
Dir: James Marsh
Stars: Phillippe Petit
THE MAN THEY COULD NOT HANG
1939
0
A mad scientist is executed but comes back to life to seek revenge on those who had him convicted.
One of Karloff's many mad scientist flicks, this unsurprising genre entry mixes formulaic frolics with a Cat And The Canary-type second half.
Dir: Nick Grinde
Stars: Boris Karloff, Lorna Gray, Robert Wilcox
MAN-THING
2005
0
A new sheriff investigates mysterious killings in a swamp area.
A movie adaptation of the unappealing Marvel comic was never a very bright idea, and this over-stylised and undernourished effort adds gore, swearing and green cinematography to little effect: the first hour offers no mystery because we the audience know the Man-Thing is the culprit, and the final half hour serves up extremely limited thrills.
Dir: Brett Leonard
Stars: Jack Thompson, Matthew Le Nevez, Steve Bastoni, Imogen Bailey
THE MAN UPSTAIRS
1958
*
Tenants turn against an eccentric man at the top of their boarding house.
This feels more like a play than a film and it soon turns into one of those talky, very actor-y dramatic pieces that can try the patience somewhat, especially since the characters are mostly unsympathetic. Attenborough's not actually in it that much, and we never get under the skin of his character.
Dir: Don Chaffey
Stars: Richard Attenborough, Bernard Lee, Donald Houston, Virginia MaskellTHE MAN WHO CAME TO DINNER
1941
**
An acid-tongued lecturer breaks his leg and has to spend time with a family who would rather he wasn't there.
Fondly recalled adaptation of a one-set play that is lifted by effervescent performances and acidic dialogue.
Dir: William Keighley
Stars: Bette Davis, Ann Sheridan, Jimmy Durante
THE MAN WHO CHANGED HIS MIND
1936
*
A scientist's extreme experiments cause his brain to radically alter.
Smartly written and acted British horror, a little on the mild side.
Dir: Robert Stevenson
Stars: Boris Karloff, Anna Lee, Cecil Parker
THE MAN WHO CHANGED HIS NAME
1934
0
A wife begins to suspect that her husband is trying to kill her.
Mystery thriller almost but not quite killed off by laughably mannered acting, flat direction and subtle-as-a-brick scripting.
Dir: Henry Edwards
Stars: Richard Dolman, Lyn Harding, Leslie Perrins
1941
**
An acid-tongued lecturer breaks his leg and has to spend time with a family who would rather he wasn't there.
Fondly recalled adaptation of a one-set play that is lifted by effervescent performances and acidic dialogue.
Dir: William Keighley
Stars: Bette Davis, Ann Sheridan, Jimmy Durante
THE MAN WHO CHANGED HIS MIND
1936
*
A scientist's extreme experiments cause his brain to radically alter.
Smartly written and acted British horror, a little on the mild side.
Dir: Robert Stevenson
Stars: Boris Karloff, Anna Lee, Cecil Parker
THE MAN WHO CHANGED HIS NAME
1934
0
A wife begins to suspect that her husband is trying to kill her.
Mystery thriller almost but not quite killed off by laughably mannered acting, flat direction and subtle-as-a-brick scripting.
Dir: Henry Edwards
Stars: Richard Dolman, Lyn Harding, Leslie Perrins
THE MAN WHO CHEATED HIMSELF
1950
**
A cop covers up for his lover's murder while he and his brother investigate it.
Taut and satisfying film noir, superior to most in terms of performances and photography - the climactic scenes are particularly impressive. At its core is a story that intrigues and grips.
Dir: Felix E Feist
Stars: Lee J Cobb, John Dall, Jane Wyatt, Lisa Howard
THE MAN WHO COULD CHEAT DEATH
1959
*
A doctor stays young by having gland transplants, but trouble awaits.
Hammer remake of The Man In Half Moon Street, a play/film rather indebted to The Picture Of Dorian Gray (with a dash of Dr Jekyll And Mr Hyde), and a decent watch despite being very talkative and completely studio-bound. The quality and honour of 1959 Britain, and Hammer Films, gets it through its deficiencies.
Dir: Terence Fisher
Stars: Anton Diffring, Hazel Court, Christopher Lee, Francis De Wolff
THE MAN WHO COULD WORK MIRACLES
1936
**
An ordinary man discovers he has the power of a god.
Over-ambitious fantasy with a rather sour script and disappointing trick effects, but some quirky charm nonetheless.
Dir: Lothar Mendes
Stars: Roland Young, Ralph Richardson, Edward Chapman, Ernest Thesiger
THE MAN WHO FELL TO EARTH
1976
*
An alien comes to Earth to get water for his dying planet.
Extremely weird sci-fi with all manner of distractions, inevitably re-evaluated by some as a masterwork. Stylish and unlikeable, it's not an easy film to get on with but provides Bowie with his best screen role and delivers on unusual imagery - it's just a pity the story isn't tighter and more compelling.
Dir: Nicolas Roeg
Stars: David Bowie, Candy Clark, Rip Torn, Buck Henry
THE MAN WHO HAUNTED HIMSELF
1970
**
A businessman finds his life is being ruined by an exact duplicate of himself.
Overstretched but often engaging thriller with a well cast Moore; the story is adapted from a half hour episode of Alfred Hitchcock Presents. The mid-section may drag a tad, and some find it overly business-centric, but it has many intriguing details and builds towards a fine climax featuring a confrontation followed by a psychedelic car chase (one of many driving sequences in the film).
Dir: Basil Dearden
Stars: Roger Moore, Hildegarde Neil, Olga Georges-Picot, Thorley Walters, Anton Rodgers, Freddie Jones
THE MAN WHO INVENTED CHRISTMAS
2017
*
Charles Dickens struggles to complete A Christmas Carol under a tight deadline.
Not quite humbug, but not far off: this attempt to tell of the origins of Dickens's novella doesn't hang together, being a semi-Scrooge remake (which makes us wish we were watching a proper Scrooge) fronted by an actor giving a way too broad, too modern performance. Strange scripting and directorial decisions abound - including showing young Charles's workhouse days, and having the title's meaning summed up in a couple of post-film captions - and it's frequently too keen to trot out cliches and turn the sentiment on through background music. It needed a bigger budget and bigger creative brains behind it, but may please some viewers around the festive period.
Dir: Bharat Nalluri
Stars: Dan Stevens, Christopher Plummer, Jonathan Pryce, Miriam Margolyes
THE MAN WHO KNEW TOO LITTLE
1997
0
A simple tourist is mistaken for an international spy.
Lightweight comedy that stretches its idea to breaking point, although that seems to be the idea. Stupid and unconvincing.
Dir: Jon Amiel
Stars: Bill Murray, Peter Gallagher, Joanne Whalley, Alfred Molina, Richard Wilson
THE MAN WHO KNEW TOO MUCH
1934
**
A couple's daughter is kidnapped to ensure their silence about an imminent assassination attempt.
Hitchcock beginning to come into his own; for its time a sprightly, jaunty comic thriller which has been worn down by the sands of time, as the set pieces do now appear less than dynamic and the final shoot-out is lacking in tension. Performance-wise it’s clunky also, with the exception of the wonderfully creepy Peter Lorre.
Dir: Alfred Hitchcock
Stars: Leslie Banks, Edna Best, Peter Lorre, Frank Vosper
THE MAN WHO KNEW TOO MUCH
1956
***
Hitchcock's remake of his own 1934 thriller is a different sort of experience altogether: it's more technically proficient, warmer in its portrayal of the central couple, and richer in its themes and structure - plus, the scenes in the Albert Hall are among his very best. Superb photography and a fine supporting cast - many of whom have features perfect for their parts - help maintain the grip and reinforce the quality. The song Que Sera, Sera was written especially for this movie.
Dir: Alfred Hitchcock
Stars: James Stewart, Doris Day, Brenda de Banzie, Bernard Miles, Reggie Nalder, Richard Wattis
THE MAN WHO SHOT LIBERTY VALANCE
1962
**
A senator tells the tale of how he took on a famous outlaw.
Solid western explaining how myths begin; pretty well done but the stars and story perhaps deserved a more lavish production.
Dir: John Ford
Stars: James Stewart, John Wayne, Lee Marvin, Vera Miles, Edmond O'Brien, John Carradine
THE MAN WHO TURNED TO STONE
1957
0
Ancient men have to feed off the lifeblood of others to stop from petrifying.
Dopey sci-fi that doesn't seem very sci-fi for long passages; watching it does not improve one's life.
Dir: Leslie Kardos
Stars: Victor Jory, William Hudson, Charlotte Austin
THE MAN WHO WAS NOBODY
1960
0
The search is on for a man who has bought a valuable ring and disappeared.
One of the weaker Edgar Wallace Mysteries, quite confusing to follow, and after a while you cease to care.
Dir: Montgomery Tully
Stars: Hazel Court, John Crawford, Lisa Daniely, Paul Eddington
Stars: Anton Diffring, Hazel Court, Christopher Lee, Francis De Wolff
THE MAN WHO COULD WORK MIRACLES
1936
**
An ordinary man discovers he has the power of a god.
Over-ambitious fantasy with a rather sour script and disappointing trick effects, but some quirky charm nonetheless.
Dir: Lothar Mendes
Stars: Roland Young, Ralph Richardson, Edward Chapman, Ernest Thesiger
THE MAN WHO FELL TO EARTH
1976
*
An alien comes to Earth to get water for his dying planet.
Extremely weird sci-fi with all manner of distractions, inevitably re-evaluated by some as a masterwork. Stylish and unlikeable, it's not an easy film to get on with but provides Bowie with his best screen role and delivers on unusual imagery - it's just a pity the story isn't tighter and more compelling.
Dir: Nicolas Roeg
Stars: David Bowie, Candy Clark, Rip Torn, Buck Henry
THE MAN WHO HAUNTED HIMSELF
1970
**
A businessman finds his life is being ruined by an exact duplicate of himself.
Overstretched but often engaging thriller with a well cast Moore; the story is adapted from a half hour episode of Alfred Hitchcock Presents. The mid-section may drag a tad, and some find it overly business-centric, but it has many intriguing details and builds towards a fine climax featuring a confrontation followed by a psychedelic car chase (one of many driving sequences in the film).
Dir: Basil Dearden
Stars: Roger Moore, Hildegarde Neil, Olga Georges-Picot, Thorley Walters, Anton Rodgers, Freddie Jones
THE MAN WHO INVENTED CHRISTMAS
2017
*
Charles Dickens struggles to complete A Christmas Carol under a tight deadline.
Not quite humbug, but not far off: this attempt to tell of the origins of Dickens's novella doesn't hang together, being a semi-Scrooge remake (which makes us wish we were watching a proper Scrooge) fronted by an actor giving a way too broad, too modern performance. Strange scripting and directorial decisions abound - including showing young Charles's workhouse days, and having the title's meaning summed up in a couple of post-film captions - and it's frequently too keen to trot out cliches and turn the sentiment on through background music. It needed a bigger budget and bigger creative brains behind it, but may please some viewers around the festive period.
Dir: Bharat Nalluri
Stars: Dan Stevens, Christopher Plummer, Jonathan Pryce, Miriam Margolyes
THE MAN WHO KNEW TOO LITTLE
1997
0
A simple tourist is mistaken for an international spy.
Lightweight comedy that stretches its idea to breaking point, although that seems to be the idea. Stupid and unconvincing.
Dir: Jon Amiel
Stars: Bill Murray, Peter Gallagher, Joanne Whalley, Alfred Molina, Richard Wilson
THE MAN WHO KNEW TOO MUCH
1934
**
A couple's daughter is kidnapped to ensure their silence about an imminent assassination attempt.
Hitchcock beginning to come into his own; for its time a sprightly, jaunty comic thriller which has been worn down by the sands of time, as the set pieces do now appear less than dynamic and the final shoot-out is lacking in tension. Performance-wise it’s clunky also, with the exception of the wonderfully creepy Peter Lorre.
Dir: Alfred Hitchcock
Stars: Leslie Banks, Edna Best, Peter Lorre, Frank Vosper
THE MAN WHO KNEW TOO MUCH
1956
***
Hitchcock's remake of his own 1934 thriller is a different sort of experience altogether: it's more technically proficient, warmer in its portrayal of the central couple, and richer in its themes and structure - plus, the scenes in the Albert Hall are among his very best. Superb photography and a fine supporting cast - many of whom have features perfect for their parts - help maintain the grip and reinforce the quality. The song Que Sera, Sera was written especially for this movie.
Dir: Alfred Hitchcock
Stars: James Stewart, Doris Day, Brenda de Banzie, Bernard Miles, Reggie Nalder, Richard Wattis
THE MAN WHO SHOT LIBERTY VALANCE
1962
**
A senator tells the tale of how he took on a famous outlaw.
Solid western explaining how myths begin; pretty well done but the stars and story perhaps deserved a more lavish production.
Dir: John Ford
Stars: James Stewart, John Wayne, Lee Marvin, Vera Miles, Edmond O'Brien, John Carradine
THE MAN WHO TURNED TO STONE
1957
0
Ancient men have to feed off the lifeblood of others to stop from petrifying.
Dopey sci-fi that doesn't seem very sci-fi for long passages; watching it does not improve one's life.
Dir: Leslie Kardos
Stars: Victor Jory, William Hudson, Charlotte Austin
THE MAN WHO WAS NOBODY
1960
0
The search is on for a man who has bought a valuable ring and disappeared.
One of the weaker Edgar Wallace Mysteries, quite confusing to follow, and after a while you cease to care.
Dir: Montgomery Tully
Stars: Hazel Court, John Crawford, Lisa Daniely, Paul Eddington
THE MAN WHO WAS SHERLOCK HOLMES
1937
*
Two confidence tricksters impersonate Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson, and end up solving a crime.
Quite the curiosity, in that it came out of Hitler's Germany and is 'Holmesian' enough to appear in the Citadel Press's The Films Of Sherlock Holmes (its quirky denouement is partly responsible). It's certainly Germanic, with confidence in itself, little humour that is funny to a non-German audience, and a busy plot that involves a lot of dialogue; but it's well staged and performed, a distinct oddity that apparently was among two films found in the Fuhrer's bunker.
Dir: Karl Hartl
Stars: Hans Albers, Heinz Ruhmann, Marieluise Claudius
THE MAN WHO WOULD BE KING
1975
***
Two British soldiers travel to a land where no white man has been since Alexander.
A damned good adventure yarn that would have been made in a much less enjoyable – ie more politically correct – manner twenty years later. The two stars are at their charismatic best, much of the dialogue is amusing and the location photography is beautiful – it’s one of Huston’s very best pictures.
Dir: John Huston
Stars: Michael Caine, Sean Connery, Christopher Plummer, Saeed Jaffrey
MAN WITH A MOVIE CAMERA
1929
**
Documentary featuring a cameraman travelling around a Soviet city observing the various sights.
Not the most entertaining of watches for the average viewer nowadays (especially in the completely silent version), but of interest to students of the recent past and film historians: it’s remarkable to see so many camera ‘tricks’ performed at this time, including split screen, backwards filming, montages, fast cutting and more. The title is also intriguing – does it refer to the photographer of the film, or the man with the camera we frequently see?
Dir: Dziga Vertov
THE MAN WITH NINE LIVES
1940
*
A doctor discovers a scientist entombed in ice but still alive; he is thawed out and continues his controversial experiments.
It's a cliche, but they really don't make them like this any more, in any way you can think of. This is highly enjoyable stuff, with Karloff as terrific as usual, an eventful, twisting script, impressive visuals and even some mild moral questions. Look out for the top use of coffee, too.
Dir: Nick Grinde
Stars: Boris Karloff, Roger Pryor, Jo Ann Sayers, Stanley Brown
THE MAN WITH THE GOLDEN ARM
1955
*
A drug addict gets out of prison and struggles to stay straight.
This progressive film about drugs often feels like an adaptation of a play (it wasn't), although it is almost entirely shot on a soundstage (and thus feels stagey) - this means that several times camera equipment casts shadows on the walls, or there are other mishaps, which is distracting. In an unlovable but arguably significant movie, Sinatra holds the attention but some other members of the cast are less well-chosen, especially OTT Parker's irritating character.
Dir: Otto Preminger
Stars: Frank Sinatra, Kim Novak, Eleanor Parker, Arnold Stang
THE MAN WITH THE GOLDEN GUN
1974
*
James Bond competes with Scaramanga, a world-class assassin, to find a device that will harness the sun's radiation.
A shade better than its predecessor, following Blaxploitation this one moves into the Bruce Lee-inspired martial arts mania and mixes some silliness (the dreadful Sheriff, the sound effects on the corkscrew car stunt, schoolgirl karate experts) with sternness (Bond threatening to break Andrea's arm, Lee as the villain). It's all just a tad flabby though, and the odd technically inept moment, like the model of Moore which clearly is Moore, diminishes it further.
Dir: Guy Hamilton
Stars: Roger Moore, Christopher Lee, Britt Ekland, Maud Adams, Herve Villechaize, Clifton James, Bernard Lee, Lois Maxwell, Desmond Llewelyn
THE MAN WITH THE SEVERED HEAD
1976
0
An injured criminal undergoes a partial brain transplant which turns him into a sadist.
Shonky crime drama with a little horror but not nearly enough – not enough sense, plot or interest either. Naschy’s hardly in it, bizarre dance sequences pad it out and Arrow Video’s 2011 release is terribly dubbed and appears to be cut, making things even more confusing; the DVD includes ‘additional erotic scenes’, which are hysterical. The onscreen title is ‘Crimson’.
Dir: Juan Fortuny
Stars: Paul Naschy, Silvia Solar, Olivier Mathot
THE MAN WITH TWO BRAINS
1984
**
A doctor loves a brain rather than his vivacious money-grabbing wife.
Sprightly and sexy comedy from when Steve Martin was still funny.
Dir: Carl Reiner
Stars: Steve Martin, Kathleen Turner, David Warner
THE MAN WITH TWO HEADS
1972
0
Dr William Jekyll's experiments lead to him becoming a brutal monster.
This is actually one of Milligan's better horror films, one of four he shot in north London, but that doesn't make it any good, of course; endless chatting on small, confined sets, punctuated by violence, is unlikely to hold people's attention for long. But there's something - a tiny, tiny something about Milligan's style, that draws the odd cinephile in (like director Nicolas Winding Refn), and his movies are at least distinct, if not worth paying money for.
Dir: Andy Milligan
Stars: Denis DeMarne, Gay Feld, Jacqueline Lawrence, Gerald Jacuzzo
THE MAN WITHOUT A BODY
1957
0
A dying businessman brings the head of Nostradamus back to life.
Preposterous terribleness that doesn't make any sense.
Dir: Charles Saunders, W Lee Wilder
Stars: Robert Hutton, George Coulouris, Julia Arnall
MANCHESTER BY THE SEA
2016
***
When his brother dies, a troubled man returns to his town to look after his nephew.
A finely crafted drama about the chaos of life, illustrated by characters who struggle to communicate with each other, love-making being interrupted, parked cars that can't be found and more. Superbly acted and crisply edited, it has a very strong sense of place and season and despite its potentially dour subject matter - it's a story about a man who sees no need to properly live any more - is not missing humour or quirkiness.
Dir: Kenneth Lonergan
Stars: Casey Affleck, Michelle Williams, Kyle Chandler, Lucas Hedges, Gretchen Mol, CJ Wilson
THE MANCHURIAN CANDIDATE
1962
***
A former POW is brainwashed into becoming a political assassin.
Sophisticated, mature thriller which sees an unconvincing plot brought to life by the director's gleaming style.
Dir: John Frankenheimer
Stars: Frank Sinatra, Laurence Harvey, Janet Leigh, Angela Lansbury
MANDY
1952
***
Parents are distraught to discover that their little girl is deaf, and are split on how to deal with it.
Genuinely heart-rending, authentic-feeling drama which really drills down into the subject matter and the human emotions involved - little Miller's features alone, often shown in close up, are enough to make the most stoney-hearted viewer melt into compassion. The subject could hardly have been handled better.
Dir: Alexander Mackendrick
Stars: Phyllis Calvert, Jack Hawkins, Terence Morgan, Mandy Miller
MANDY
2018
*
A man goes after the weird cult that has taken his wife.
Weird by weird's standards, this quite-unlike-anything-else fantasy horror is a film of two halves: the first a somnolent hippy dippy trip, the second a bloody revenge tale. Can you stick with it? There will not be many more divisive movies than this. For this reviewer, it's a bit much, certainly in terms of length.
Dir: Panos Cosmatos
Stars: Nicolas Cage, Andrea Riseborough, Linus RoacheMANHATTAN
1979
***
A divorced New Yorker going out with a girl still at school forces himself to look for love with the mistress of his best friend.
One of Allen's most significant pictures, a film which involves us in believable, fully realised (if unsympathetic and garrulous) characters that makes us probe the reasons for their actions. It's superbly shot in black and white and beautifully scored (Gershwin), making it a memorable cinema experience, but one that lacks the outright laughs and bright appeal of Annie Hall. Viewed now, some may feel a little uncomfortable with it because of Allen's character's relationship with a young woman.
Dir: Woody Allen
Stars: Woody Allen, Diane Keaton, Mariel Hemingway, Michael Murphy, Meryl Streep
MANHATTAN MURDER MYSTERY
1993
***
A New York couple suspect that their neighbour has murdered his wife.
With difficulties in his personal life, Allen responded by offering up one of his lightest films in many years and by making a murder mystery, while harking back to the cinema of his youth and providing comment on relationships in middle-age: they need some sort of excitement to keep them going. Witty, intriguing and delightfully played (though Woody's neurotic ticks might be too much for non-fans), it's a pleasing movie souffle, if ten minutes too long.
Dir: Woody Allen
Stars: Woody Allen, Diane Keaton, Alan Alda, Anjelica Huston, Jerry Adler
1945 (serial)
*
A girl goes after her father who has been abducted by the diabolical Captain Mephisto.
Idiotic but enjoyable serial with a 'guess the villain' mystery and a plethora of brisk punch-ups and crazy cliff-hangers.
Dir: Spencer Bennet, Yakima Canutt, Wallace Grissel
Stars: Richard Bailey, Linda Stirling, Roy Barcroft
MANHUNTER
1985
0
An FBI specialist tracks a gruesome serial killer.
Slow thriller whose capacity to chill is dissipated by its Miami Vice-type sheen.
Dir: Michael Mann
Stars: Brian Cox, William L Petersen, Kim Greist
MANIA
1986
0
Four scary stories: See No Evil, The Intruder, Have A Nice Day and The Good Samaritan.
This looks like a compilation of four episodes intended for a TV show, with places for commercial breaks evident. Pretty basic stuff from Canada, with undistinguished scripting and acting, it's nevertheless tolerable enough for anthology buffs; the first two stories at least have quite amusing twists, while the final pair's are not unpredictable.
Dir: Paul Lynch, David M Robertson, John Sheppard
Stars: Wayne Robson, Richard Monette, Deborah Grover, Stephen Hunter
MANIAC
1934
0
The assistant to a mad doctor kills his employer and continues his crazy experiments.
Insane exploiter that was a 'road show' movie designed to titillate, although the director appeared to think he was also making a serious statement about mental illness. Appalling in every respect of course, but the brew of brief nudity, a cat's eye being eaten, a syringe fight and clips from obscure silent films have given it a long shelf life.
Dir: Dwain Esper
Stars: Bill Woods, Horace Carpenter, Ted Edwards
MANIAC
1963
*
In the south of France, an American helps a woman get her husband out of an asylum. But nothing’s quite as it seems…
Not among the best of Hammer’s 1960s psychological thrillers - the plot’s a bit woolly and the cinematography’s a little bland (maybe colour would have helped?) - but it still keeps you watching, even though it is very slow to properly get going.
Dir: Michael Carreras
Stars: Kerwin Matthews, Nadia Grey, Donald Houston
MANIAC
1980
0
A serial killer who targets young women stalks New York.
Nihilistic low budget horror with some suspense amid the gore.
Dir: William Lustig
Stars: Joe Spinell, Caroline Munro, Kelly Piper
MANIAC COP
1988
0
A man in a New York policeman's uniform goes on a killing spree.
Junky horror with borrowings from others.
Dir: William Lustig
Stars: Bruce Campbell, Tom Atkins, Richard Roundtree
MANIAC COP 2
1990
0
The undead cop returns to victimise his murderers.
Livelier sequel which culminates in an oh so obvious final shot.
Dir: William Lustig
Stars: Robert Davi, Claudia Christian, Bruce Campbell
MANK
2020
*
Alcoholic scriptwriter Herman Mankiewicz struggles to complete the script of Citizen Kane.
Technically speaking, this is first class: the evocative photography, the costumes, the sets, the performances - all are excellent, but boy oh boy it's one deeply boring movie. Unless you have intimate knowledge of the period and the people involved it's confusing and deadly dull - one wonders if, say, any couple in the whole world would sit down in front of it and actually enjoy it. Its 12A certificate is most lenient also, considering the language.
Dir: David Fincher
Stars: Gary Oldman, Amanda Seyfried, Lily Collins, Tom Pelphrey
MANNEQUIN
1986
0
A young man falls in love with a shop dummy that has come to life.
Forlorn attempt at a screwball comedy; never funny, just mind-numbing.
Dir: Michael Gottlieb
Stars: Andrew McCarthy, Kim Cattrall, James Spader
MANON DES SOURCES
1987
***
Sequel to Jean De Florette in which Manon swears revenge on the men responsible for the death of her father.
Enticing and beautifully shot, and once again a huge commercial success in France and abroad.
Dir: Claude Berri
Stars: Yves Montand, Daniel Auteuil, Emmanuelle Beart
MANSFIELD PARK
1999
*
In the early 19th century, a girl is sent to live with a well-off family, but has difficulties fitting in.
A pleasant enough period drama in itself, but not really an adaptation of Austen’s novel – the director is clearly determined to present it from a ‘modern’ standpoint.
Dir: Patricia Rozema
Stars: Frances O’Connor, Jonny Lee Miller, Alessandro Nivola, Harold Pinter, Lindsay Duncan, Embeth Davidtz, Hugh Bonneville, James Purefoy
MANSION OF THE DOOMED
1976
*
A doctor whose daughter has been blinded seeks to find her new eyes from other sources.
A horror film about eyes is likely to be unsettling anyway, but this crackers effort is particularly gruesome, with disturbing scenes of the orb-less victims writhing in a basement prison; it echoes Island Of Lost Souls and foreshadows The Human Centipede, and has a nasty, irreverent streak that means it retains a certain appeal. How the doctor gets away with it for so long is just one of its amusing absurdities.
Dir: Michael Pataki
Stars: Richard Basehart, Gloria Grahame, Trish Stewart, Lance Henriksen
MANSION OF THE LIVING DEAD
1985
0
Four women turn up at a mysteriously deserted hotel.
This Franco slice of madness starts well – the frisky females on holiday idea is titillating and the empty hotel idea full of eerie promise but it inevitably dissolves into aimless rubbish; as ever it’s interesting trying to work out whether the dialogue was bilge originally or whether it’s been mangled in translation. It’s also interesting to note that some of these actresses, still eager to get naked, aren’t quite in the same condition they were ten years’ previously...
Dir: Jess Franco
Stars: Lina Romay, Mabel Escano, Mari Carmen Nieto, Elisa Vela
THE MANSTER
1959
*
A Japanese scientist causes a visiting American to physically change in an alarming fashion.
The first 'man with two heads' picture! And it's not terrible, presenting some quite interesting, adult themes around personality and behaviour, with hints at darker things and some memorable imagery. Its Japanese setting makes it more novel and while it's no masterwork it's rather fun.
Dir: George P Breakston, Kenneth G Crane
Stars: Peter Dyneley, Jane Hylton, Tetsu Nakamura, Terri Zimmern
MANUFACTURING DISSENT: UNCOVERING MICHAEL MOORE
2007
*
Documentary examining the methods of the left-wing filmmaker.
A movie that is considerably more even-handed than any of Michael Moore’s, perhaps to the extent that it lacks real power or driving force. It is nevertheless a welcome dig at a man who appears to be both thuggish and devious, although no one – America’s media, the right, the left, the filmmakers (why do they think they are entitled to an interview with Moore?) – comes out of it particularly well.
Dir: Rick Caine, Debbie Melnyk
MANUMISSION THE MOVIE
1999 (V)
0
Documentary about the hedonistic party lifestyle in Ibiza.
Sometimes inspiring, sometimes fascinating, sometimes dispiriting semi-professional chronicle of drugs, sex and dance, it eventually goes on too long and its superficiality becomes evident.
Dir: Bruce McKenna
Stars: Mike McKay, Claire McKay
THE MANXMAN
1929
*
A man heads to Africa to make his fortune and entrusts his best friend with looking after the woman he plans to marry.
Hitchcock’s last silent film is a curiously absorbing melodrama that is both extremely well photographed and strong on ageless themes; it may be fairly simple but the master skilfully uses his soundless pictures to construct a good story. Actress Ondra is one of the director’s first of his many beautiful blondes.
Dir: Alfred Hitchcock
Stars: Carl Brisson, Malcolm Keen, Anny Ondra
THE MAP OF TINY PERFECT THINGS
2021
*
A teenage boy who lives the same day over and over again meets a girl who also does so.
Yes, another spin on the winning formula of Groundhog Day (here referenced a couple of times) only with younger people and a slightly different shade of melancholy, with a message that says you must move on in life, no matter how painful it can sometimes be. An easily watched yarn for a slow Sunday afternoon, it's not massively ambitious, and perhaps makes little sense, but it has a modicum of wit and wisdom, and its locations (Fairhope, Alabama) make you wish you lived there. The title isn't the best, but this was only released on Amazon, so does it matter that much?
Dir: Ian Samuels
Stars: Kyle Allen, Kathryn Newton, Jermaine Harris
MARATHON MAN
1976
**
A man gets caught up in a stolen diamond conspiracy, leading to his torture from an ex-Nazi.
Solid thriller which delivers tense and violent set pieces, including the infamous dentist's chair scene.
Dir: John Schlesinger
Stars: Dustin Hoffman, Laurence Olivier, Roy Scheider, William Devane
MARCH OF THE PENGUINS
2005
***
Documentary about the arduous process that the Emperor penguin goes through to sire offspring.
Captivating stuff, thanks to the incredible, barely believable ritual of nature that is being observed, plus the fact that the behaviour has actually been captured on film (a special feature on the DVD about the stoic making of it is well worth watching).
Dir: Luc Jacquet
Narrator: Morgan Freeman
MARDI GRAS MASSACRE
1978
0
A maniac sacrifices prostitutes to an Aztec god.
Delightfully dreadful grade-Zer that should only be seen by those intent on viewing all 74 official video nasties or those who enjoy grotty cheapjack tat with a million different faults. Its many inadequacies include identical gory footage being repeated over and over again.
Dir: Jack Weis
Stars: Curt Dawson, Gwen Arment, Bill Metzo
LA MARGE
1976
*
A man takes solace in an escort after a personal tragedy.
Curious erotic arty drama, as unhurried as it is obtuse, with two stars at their absolute physical peak and a director somewhere near his apex too - that's not to say this is an exceptional film but it does manage to create both a sombre atmosphere and some hearty titillation, with little quirky incidents in the mix. Surprising soundtrack, too.
Dir: Walerian Borowczyk
Stars: Joe Dallesandro, Sylvia Kristel, Mireille Audibert
MARIA MARTEN, OR THE MURDER IN THE RED BARN
1935
0
An evil squire kills his young mistress but is found out by a gypsy.
Tod Slaughter's first movie, not among his best (!), a retelling of a murky true story, which begins with the cast being introduced on stage.
Dir: Milton Rosmer
Stars: Tod Slaughter, Sophie Stewart, Eric Portman
MARIUS
1931
**
A young bartender is torn between going to sea and staying in Marseilles to marry his sweetheart.
Rich character comedy that will mean more to some than others; although mostly confined it manages to vividly show life in the sea port, and there are good lines among the masses of dialogue. One wonders whether this Fanny is as worth staying home for as Leslie Caron's in 1961 (qv).
Dir: Alexander Korda
Stars: Raimu, Pierre Fresnay, Fernand Charpin, Orane Demazis
MARJOE
1972
*
Documentary about an evangelist preacher, popular from childhood, who admits that his whole business is a scam.
It’s interesting to note that many years after this film unscrupulous religious vampires are still depriving folk of their hard-earned cash through deceitful showmanship, but we should still be thankful it was made. It retains its power to surprise although some of the preaching sequences go on a bit long and it would have been good to have heard from others besides Marjoe.
Dir: Sarah Kernochan, Howard Smith
Stars: Marjoe Gortner
THE MARK
1961
*
A man who was in prison for courting a minor tries to rebuild his life.
This might have been a daring subject for a film to tackle in 1961 but the trouble is that it doesn't have the courage of its convictions: Whitman's character is way too open, not nearly dark enough to be fascinating or a true threat to daily life (just compare it to the previous year's Never Take Sweets From A Stranger, or perhaps Kubrick's Lolita from the following year). A weirdly international cast doesn't help root it in an identifiable mise-en-scene, further diminishing its effectiveness - it's also a bit too much like hard work, with one tense dialogue-heavy scene after another.
Dir: Guy Green
Stars: Stuart Whitman, Maria Schell, Rod Steiger, Donald Houston
MARK OF THE DEVIL
1969
*
Witch hunters terrorise an old English town.
Similar to the previous year's Witchfinder General, with a greater emphasis on violence and sadism, this shocker has flashes of style.
Dir: Michael Armstrong
Stars: Herbert Lom, Udo Kier, Reggie Nalder
MARK OF THE VAMPIRE
1935
*
Vampires appear to be responsible for the death of a nobleman.
Fair remake of the 1927 Lon Chaney film London After Midnight with agreeably spooky sequences but too much chat. Only an hour long.
Dir: Tod Browning
Stars: Lionel Barrymore, Bela Lugosi, Lionel Atwill, Elizabeth Allan
MARLEY
2012
**
Documentary about the life of reggae superstar Bob Marley.
Detailed, lengthy examination of a genuinely talented musician, it will have Marley fans in heaven. He may have been naive in some of his beliefs but his charisma and impact are undeniable; the film includes looks at his women, political violence in Jamaica, his non-fatal shooting and his sad death (but not much about his lack of appeal to blacks outside his homeland).
Dir: Kevin Macdonald
MARLEY & ME
2008
*
A young couple buys a Labrador puppy that sees them through starting a family.
A must for dog lovers – although they’d have a point saying that the dog should have been considerably better trained by its owners – and a sweet film that charts the passing of time and the importance of companionship; possibly the script might have made a few more pertinent points. Unashamedly sentimental by the end, could one venture that it might have been even more affecting if Marley had been better behaved?
Dir: David Frankel
Stars: Owen Wilson, Jennifer Aniston, Alan Arkin, Eric Dane, Kathleen Turner
MARLOWE
1969
0
Philip Marlowe is hired by a woman to find her missing brother.
Impenetrable, tedious detective drama from the fag end of the 1960s; even Bruce Lee's appearance can't save it.
Dir: Paul Bogart
Stars: James Garner, Gayle Hunnicutt, Bruce Lee
MARNIE
1964
*
A man marries a woman who is a habitual thief and suffers from a fear of sex.
While it may have been a work of personal importance for the director, there can be no denying that this psychodrama is over-fanciful and at times absurd and difficult to take seriously - the plot rarely convinces and the director's tricks (like the red screen flashes) only accentuate the sense of frivolity. Of course it has certain qualities because it's Hitchcock, but they're extremely muted, and what we experience is a largely uninteresting story underscored by cod-Freudian musings, peopled by unattractive characters, particularly the titular female, whose whingeing tones are enough to drive you up the nearest wall. Bernard Herrmann's classy score may well be the best thing about it.
Dir: Alfred Hitchcock
Stars: Tippi Hedren, Sean Connery, Martin Gabel, Diane Baker, Louise Latham, Bruce Dern
MAROC 7
1967
0
An undercover agent follows a fashion photographer to Morocco because he suspects she is involved in an international fraud operation.
Colourful location shooting, beautiful women and a decent cast, but this thriller never succeeds in making the action the slightest bit engaging; it somehow manages to be both bland and convoluted.
Dir: Gerry O’Hara
Stars: Gene Barry, Elsa Martinelli, Leslie Phillips, Cyd Charisse, Denholm Elliott
MARRIAGE OF CONVENIENCE
1960
*
A crook breaks out of jail only to discover that his ex girlfriend has gone off with the money from his robbery.
Fairly typical entry into the Edgar Wallace series which plods along acceptably enough; as ever there are anxious criminals, surly police inspectors, weak women and enough cigarette smoking to give even viewers lung cancer. It was nice to see a good quality seven-volume DVD release of the Wallace films in 2012.
Dir: Clive Donner
Stars: Harry H Corbett, John Cairney, John Van Eyssen
THE MARRIAGE OF MARIA BRAUN
1978
*
A woman believes her soldier husband is dead but he returns home.
A cold, intelligent film that speaks to Germans about their post-war recovery through the character of a woman who will do anything to rebuild her life; it’s certainly well made, and looks authentic, but it sometimes drags and there’s not much to empathise with.
Dir: Rainer Werner Fassbinder
Stars: Hanna Schygulla, Klaus Lowitsch, Ivan Desny
MARRIAGE STORY
2019
**
A couple go through a distressing and expensive divorce.
Refreshingly adult drama with very little sentiment, only an unflinching look at the challenging realities of human relationships (what tear-jerking there is, is well earned). Extremely well written and acted, it is essentially a succession of distinct long-ish scenes, many of which are excellent: although one of the best, the social worker's assessment near the end, is almost like something from another film. It might lack characters as sympathetic as the similar Kramer Vs Kramer, and be a tad overlong, but it's a quality product, with something of the vibe of a premium 1970s movie.
Dir: Noah Baumbach
Stars: Adam Driver, Scarlet Johansson, Laura Dern, Julie Hagerty, Alan Alda, Ray Liotta
MARS ATTACKS!
1996
*
Big-headed aliens arrive to claim the planet.
A homage to 1950s sci-fi thrillers, but on the whole the originals would be preferable; tedious dialogue, overlength and half-hearted character development are supplanted by moments of special effects ingenuity.
Dir: Tim Burton
Stars: Jack Nicholson, Glenn Close, Annette Bening, Pierce Brosnan, Danny DeVito, Michael J Fox, Martin Short, Rod Steiger
MARTHA, MEET FRANK, DANIEL AND LAURENCE
1997
0
Three best friends all fall in love with the same beautiful American girl.
Limp, unsympathetic comedy.
Dir: Nick Hamm
Stars: Monica Potter, Rufus Sewell, Joseph Fiennes, Ray Winstone
THE MARTIAN
2015
**
In the near future, an astronaut is left on Mars by accident and struggles to survive.
One of the director's better recent efforts is a fairly smart sci-fi drama with flaws, not just its irritatingly deliberate 'PG-13' language and obsession with portraying scientists as anything but the gender and race they actually are, but in the fact that it's very long yet still doesn't focus on some of the things you want or expect it to. The starry cast smacks of pomposity too, but it's a strikingly shot and occasionally thrilling movie that once again shows certain Hollywood qualities off to the full.
Dir: Ridley Scott
Stars: Matt Damon, Jeff Daniels, Chiwetel Ejiofor, Jessica Chastain, Kristen Wiig, Kata Mara, Sean Bean, Michael Pena
MARTIN
1977
*
A young man believes he is a vampire and struggles to contain his blood-thirsty urges.
An intelligent and sober take on the vampire genre from Romero, featuring a detached teenager who takes more extreme measures to find sex than most; bracingly different and strongly atmospheric - both in its modern-day Pittsburgh scenes and the black and white flashbacks - it has much to interest the more patient horror fan and has developed a strong following after its initial commercial failure.
Dir: George A Romero
Stars: John Amplas, Lincoln Maazel, Christine Forrest, Tom Savini
THE MARTINS
2001
0
A layabout from a horrible family steals winning lottery tickets.
Depressing tale of foul-mouthed low life.
Dir: Tony Grounds
Stars: Lee Evans, Kathy Burke, Linda Bassett, Frank Finlay, Paddy Considine
MARTY
1955
***
A lonely middle-aged butcher struggles to find love.
Fresh, small scale drama with a keen ear for dialogue, its characters' mannerisms have been imitated in countless films since, hence dulling the original's impact; still, a seminal film.
Dir: Delbert Mann
Stars: Ernest Borgnine, Betsy Blair, Esther Minciotti
MARY
1931
*
A juror starts to believe that the woman he has helped condemn to death is innocent.
Hitchcock's German language version of his Murder! (qv) isn't as effective; it's shorter but bogged down by clunky dialogue sequences, mouthed by actors just out of the silent era. It should still be watched - because it's Hitch - but the original is preferable.
Dir: Alfred Hitchcock
Stars: Alfred Abel, Olga Tschechowa, Paul Graetz
MARY AND MAX
2009
*
A lonely Australian girl and a male New Yorker with Asperger’s form an unlikely relationship through letters.
Claymation taken to darker places than it has ever been before: a melancholy drama that’s done with some astuteness, but a little too long, and sometimes uninvolving. Wallace and Gromit are more fun.
Dir: Adam Elliot
Narrator: Barry Humphries. Stars: Toni Collette, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Eric Bana
MARY MILLINGTON’S TRUE BLUE CONFESSIONS
1980
0
A 'tribute' to the sex film star, featuring interviews and archive footage.
The stench of necrophilia is in the air here, and this ultra cheap film is full of bizarre oddities that sink the late star even further into the mire than she did herself in her lifetime. A certain rawness of spirit, and its brevity, make it viewable.
Dir: Nick Galtress
Stars: Mary Millington, John M East, David Sullivan
MARY MILLINGTON’S WORLD STRIPTEASE EXTRAVAGANZA
1981
0
Strippers compete in a contest in London hosted by a comedian.
Very strange tat purporting to be a documentary about a stripping competition. Mary Millington appears once in a short clip; the rest is lamentable disrobing routines punctuated by embarrassing stand-up from Winters.
Dir: Roy Deverell
Stars: Mary Millington, John M East, Bernie Winters, Gloria Brittain, Julie Lee
MARY POPPINS
1964
**
A magical nanny goes to work for a cold banker's unhappy family.
A cheerful entertainment that goes on a little too long, is studio-bound and has somewhat dated special effects, but when a film is so tuneful and so intent on lifting the spirits it seems slightly churlish to criticise it. Bereft of a proper plot, it essentially jumps from one fantasy set-piece to another and from one song to another - how favourably the viewer responds to them will make their judgement of the movie.
Dir: Robert Stevenson
Stars: Julie Andrews, Dick Van Dyke, David Tomlinson, Glynis Johns
MARY POPPINS RETURNS
2018
**
Mary Poppins once again helps the Banks family, who are in financial trouble.
This follow-up does not disappoint: it's just as good-natured, wholesome and ebullient as the original, and of course technically it's far superior. Rarely less than pleasing family entertainment, most of the songs are fine, as is Blunt in the lead role, and everyone else involved in the production clearly had an understanding of its predecessor's qualities; this might too become a Christmas TV perennial.
Dir: Rob Marshall
Stars: Emily Blunt, Lin-Manuel Miranda, Ben Whishaw, Emily Mortimer, Colin Firth, Dick Van Dyke, Angela Lansbury
MARY SHELLEY’S FRANKENSTEIN
1994
*
Victor Frankenstein builds a monster that later turns on him.
A well-told yarn with moments of magic, surprisingly straight-laced and traditional. Neither the classic nor disaster that might have been expected.
Dir: Kenneth Branagh
Stars: Robert De Niro, Kenneth Branagh, Tom Hulce, Helena Bonham Carter, Aidan Quinn, Ian Holm, Richard Briers, John Cleese, Robert Hardy
MASH
1970
**
Surgeons at an army hospital during the Korean War amuse themselves with practical jokes.
Weird, episodic, random, blasphemous, misogynistic farce which was like nothing before it and ushered in the dubious attributes of overlapping dialogue, improvisation and documentary-like camerawork; there is much that’s good about it but the ultimate entertainment experience it is not, with the final football game in particular struggling to hold the attention.
Dir: Robert Altman
Stars: Donald Sutherland, Elliott Gould, Tom Skerritt, Sally Kellerman, Robert Duvall
THE MASK
1961
*
A man experiences terrifying visions when he dons an ancient mask.
Like the scrawny bastard son of Hitchcock’s Spellbound, and also an unsubtle allegory of drug abuse, this gimmicky shocker comes into its own in its bizarre 3D hallucination sequences – when they’re not on it’s a functional, basic piece with people standing around talking on small sets. All the budget must have gone on that 3D technology.
Dir: Julian Roffman
Stars: Paul Stevens, Claudette Nevins, Bill Walker
MASK
1986
**
A boy with severe facial deformities plans to go round the world to give him something to look forward to.
A sort of modern-day version of The Elephant Man, both involving and touching.
Dir: Peter Bogdanovich
Stars: Cher, Eric Stoltz, Sam Elliott, Laura Dern
THE MASK
1994
***
A bank clerk is transformed into a manic superhero by donning a strange mask.
Hard-to-resist hokum with lively special effects, a fun script and a star rapidly securing a splendid, top-billed career (and there's a great debut from Diaz too): it's Carrey's moments as The Mask that are the most sublime, encapsulating his pop culture-fused manic energy, but his non-Mask stuff ain't bad either. Slightly too nasty villains and a director who isn't the equal of his star are its only downsides.
Dir: Chuck Russell
Stars: Jim Carrey, Cameron Diaz, Peter Riegert, Peter Greene
THE MASK OF FU MANCHU
1932
*
Fu Manchu seeks an artefact from Ghengis Khan's tomb to help him rule the world.
Lusty horror comic, now a little worn around the edges, with a cracking lead performance.
Dir: Charles Brabin
Stars: Boris Karloff, Lewis Stone, Myrna Loy
THE MASKS OF DEATH
1984 (TV)
*
Sherlock Holmes comes out of retirement to solve some more murders.
Faintly disappointing return to the role for Cushing; the plot is thin while the script is flabby.
Dir: Roy Ward Baker
Stars: Peter Cushing, John Mills, Anne Baxter, Ray Milland, Anton Diffring, Gordon Jackson
THE MASQUE OF THE RED DEATH
1964
*
A prince terrorises the locals from his mysterious castle.
Languid, intelligent horror benefiting from Nicolas Roeg's superb photography and the multi-coloured, imaginative set design. The story is not so hot. It's very thin, hardly a driving narrative at all, and most of Corman's other Poe films are more conventionally entertaining.
Dir: Roger Corman
Stars: Vincent Price, Hazel Court, Jane Asher, Nigel Green, Patrick Magee
MASQUERADE
1987
*
A young heiress is in danger of being killed for her money.
Slackly handled semi-remake of Suspicion, badly miscast, but watchable.
Dir: Bob Swain
Stars: Rob Lowe, Meg Tilly, Kim Cattrall, Doug Savant
MASSACRE IN DINOSAUR VALLEY
1985
0
A group of people crash-land in a jungle full of perils.
Likeably bad exploitation item, a sort of X-rated Romancing The Stone, possibly made up as they went along. It was retitled Cannibal Ferox 2, but there's actually very little cannibal action, thereby disappointing a whole new audience (but trash film fans, or those of Carvalho, should be serensified).
Dir: Michele Massimo Tarantini
Stars: Michael Sopkiw, Suzane Carvalho, Milton Rodriguez
MASSACRE MAFIA STYLE
1974
0
A Sicilian gangster causes trouble in LA.
The director/star obviously thought he was making something akin to The Godfather, but amateurish acting and hilariously unconvincing violence are just two things that ensure this atrocious film can't be taken seriously. Would-be profound monologues don't help either, but its immortality is (sort of) assured by the fact it appeared on the British video nasties list, albeit only in section three.
Dir: Duke Mitchell
Stars: Duke Mitchell, Vic Caesar, Lorenzo Dodo
THE MASTER
2012
*
A hot-headed Naval veteran takes up with the leader of a strange cult.
There's much to admire about the way this drama is shot and acted but what does it all mean, what does it amount to? Not much. Essentially a film about angry people who aren't very nice, it doesn't really examine the Scientology-like cult it features and has any amount of pregnant pauses - we're presumably meant to fill them in with meaning. Good bits, but frustratingly hollow overall.
Dir: Paul Thomas Anderson
Stars: Joaquin Phoenix, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Amy Adams, Laura Dern
MASTER AND COMMANDER: THE FAR SIDE OF THE WORLD
2003
**
During the Napoleonic wars, a British naval commander follows a French vessel to the Galapagos islands.
Mostly a film about what life at sea was like in those days, partly a spectacular action epic (though this section of it is quite brief), this is a very well made, impressively performed epic that should be applauded for its generally positive demeanour; for non-seafarers, though, it may not hold the attention for all of its running time.
Dir: Peter Weir
Stars: Russell Crowe, Paul Bettany, Billy Boyd, James D'Arcy
MASTER OF THE WORLD
1961
0
In the late 19th century, the captain of an airship threatens to bomb targets all over the world.
Crazy and colourful sci-fi with stock footage aplenty. If you presume that this indicates a low budget you'd be correct, and this is quite a studio-bound production: which isn't necessarily the kiss of death, but unimaginative direction means it's a bit of a plodder. Big Jules Verne fans or big kids might find a fair bit of enjoyment.
Dir: William Witney
Stars: Vincent Price, Charles Bronson, Henry Hull, Mary Webster
MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE
1987
0
He-Man battles Skeletor and his vile minions.
Big bucks sci-fi based on the kiddie franchise; noisy, brash, colourful and fast moving, with an amusingly awful lead, its only appreciative audience is likely to be the extremely young.
Dir: Gary Goddard
Stars: Dolph Lundgren, Frank Langella, Meg Foster, Billy Barty, Courteney Cox
MASTERS OF VENUS
1962 (serial)
*
Two children accidentally end up on a rocketship to Venus.
This eight-part Children Film's Foundation serial is a bit like the Famous Five in space, but with a minor anti-prejudice message on hand; much of it is a bland runaround but the final episode conjures up some suspense thanks to a novel turn of events, and the whole thing will be as warming to some as jam on toast on a cold winter's night. Some of the Venusians' fashions are quite fetching.
Dir: Ernest Morris
Stars: Norman Wooland, Robin Stewart, Robin Hunter, Ferdy Mayne
MATCH POINT
2005
***
A tennis coach starts an ill-fated affair with the fiancée of a rich pupil.
The critics often say it's so but this probably was Woody's best film in years, a smartly written and acted morality tale that takes unexpected turns before its clever (if slightly implausible) denouement. Sophisticated entertainment for intelligent adults, it really is a departure in many ways for Allen, and a welcome one at that - the [nice side of] London setting and the British cast are a breath of fresh air, while even the shooting style differs from his previous movies; themes like infidelity, magic realism and philosophical debates remain.
Dir: Woody Allen
Stars: Jonathan Rhys Meyers, Scarlett Johansson, Emily Mortimer, Matthew Goode, Penelope Wilton, Brian Cox
MATCHSTICK MEN
2003
0
A con man with OCD encounters problems when his teenage daughter re-enters his life.
Anyone who’s seen a few con artist movies (eg House Of Games, Nine Queens) will guess what’s going on half an hour into this wild misfire, but even if it wasn’t for the unbelievably obvious twist it’d still be deeply irritating thanks to the star twitching his way through his role – rather like the director and his irksome visual twitches – his oily sidekick and the equally annoying Angela character. It also basks in absurdities like how a person like Waller could ever be a con artist and conversely how he could also be so gullible. It can’t decide how much it wants to be a human drama about families and how much it wants to be a thriller, and ends up being yet another dud from this director.
Dir: Ridley Scott
Stars: Nicolas Cage, Sam Rockwell, Alison Lohman, Bruce Altman
MATINEE
1993
*
A small-time film promoter releases a bad sci-fi film at the time of the Cuban Missile Crisis.
Canny, original, humorous drama with a keen eye for the times it snapshots.
Dir: Joe Dante
Stars: John Goodman, Cathy Moriarty, Simon Fenton
THE MATRIX
1999
**
A computer hacker battles against the controllers of a cyber world.
High camp mumbo jumbo shot with some panache. Parts of the film, particularly the last half hour, provide tantalising glimpses of how inspiring and inventive this medium can continue to be in the 21st century, even if 20 years later it looks a little dated; it's also a shame humour is almost completely absent and that it's so long. Why is the dialogue so quiet and the action so loud?
Dir: Andy Wachowski, Larry Wachowski
Stars: Keanu Reeves, Laurence Fishburne, Carrie-Anne Moss, Hugo Weaving
MATT HELM
1975 (TV)
0
A private investigator is hired to protect a beautiful film star and gets involved with gun runners.
TV spy adventure, mostly Dullsville.
Dir: Buzz Kulik
Stars: Anthony Franciosa, Ann Turkel, Patrick Macnee
A MATTER OF LIFE AND DEATH
1946
***
A World War 2 pilot who cheats death must argue for his life before a heavenly court.
Towering fantasy which has retained its freshness thanks to its sublime audacity, specifically its insane, bold plot and its surfeit of astonishing images (it’s also a great film for actors’ faces); technically it is an immense achievement and the script has great wit and astute intellectual musings on the likes of nationality, love and existence.
Dir: Michael Powell, Emeric Pressburger
Stars: David Niven, Roger Livesey, Kim Hunter, Raymond Massey, Marius Goring, Richard Attenborough
MAUSOLEUM
1983
0
A woman appears to be possessed by the same demon that plagued her mother.
Deeply tacky horror that's as grisly as it is dumb.
Dir: Michael Dugan
Stars: Bobbie Bresee, Marjoe Gortner, Norman Burton
MAX HEADROOM
1984 (TV)
**
In the near future, a TV reporter investigates stories along with a computer version of himself.
Impressive sci-fi executed with a good deal of invention and imagination, it led to a TV series that was something completely different.
Dir: Annabel Jankel, Rocky Morton
Stars: Matt Frewer, Nickolas Grace, Hilary Tindall
MAXIE
1986
0
The ghost of a tortured would-be film star takes over the body of a young woman.
Forgettable comedy which barely even tries to be funny.
Dir: Paul Aaron
Stars: Glenn Close, Many Patinkin, Ruth Gordon
MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE
1986
0
Machines come alive and kill humans.
Derivative thriller with some well staged action sequences, King's only attempt at directing his own material.
Dir: Stephen King
Stars: Emilio Estevez, Pat Hingle, Yeardley Smith
MAYBE BABY
2000
0
A couple struggle to have a baby, while the writer husband attempts to turn their turmoil into a screenplay.
Ben Elton's comedy drama worked a lot better on the printed page - the movie just seems like a minor, pallid cousin of Richard Curtis hits (which can be pretty hideous in themselves).
Dir: Ben Elton
Stars: Joely Richardson, Hugh Laurie, Joanna Lumley, Emma Thompson, Rowan Atkinson
THE MAZE
1953
0
A man appears to prematurely age when he visits his uncle's mysterious castle in the Scottish Highlands.
Silly and verbose horror.
Dir: William Cameron Menzies
Stars: Richard Carlson, Veronica Hurst, Katherine Emery
MAZES AND MONSTERS
1983 (TV)
0
A board game comes to life with terrifying results.
Soapy and soppy fantasy which appears to be based on the Dungeons And Dragons game and then made up as they went along.
Dir: Steven Hilliard Stern
Stars: Tom Hanks, Wendy Crewson, David Wallace, Vera Miles
McCABE & MRS MILLER
1971
**
In the Old West, a gambler and a prostitute come to a remote town to start up a business.
In his typical style, the director is as determined as ever to give you a tough time and make nothing easy - hearing the dialogue, following the story, understanding what it all means - but those with more patience will appreciate the skill displayed in this bleak tale; it certainly envelopes you in the location, making you feel every shiver and every hardship. An unusual, slow, but fairly rewarding 'anti-Western' with intelligence behind it and a handful of memorable sequences.
Dir: Robert Altman
Stars: Warren Beatty, Julie Christie, Rene Auberjonois, William Devane, Hugh Millais
McQUEEN
2018
**
Documentary about fashion designer Alexander McQueen, who found enormous success but took his own life aged 40.
A penetrating peer into a world that is barely known to most of us, that of high-end fashion, and you can never quite decide whether these people are ridiculous and deluded, or are part of a proper artistic movement. Let's be generous and go with the latter, but this film does not really get under the skin of McQueen, and many of the revelations about him - that he was HIV positive, addicted to cocaine, had liposuction, was fixated with his mother - are casually mentioned then tossed away. Still, it's a different, novel experience and never boring.
Dir: Ian Bonhôte, Peter Ettedgui
McVICAR
1980
0
Biopic of John McVicar, an armed robber who went to jail but eventually reformed.
Rough and ready drama based on fact, determined to present the most seamy aspects of prison life while failing to show much of the most remarkable part of McVicar's life (he went on to become a writer).
Dir: Tom Clegg
Stars: Roger Daltrey, Adam Faith, Cheryl Campbell, Steven Berkoff
ME AND MY PAL
1933
*
Ollie misses his wedding thanks to Stan bringing a jigsaw puzzle around.
Short notable more for some priceless snippets of surreal dialogue (Stan's thoughts on the motion picture industry, 'Prosperity is just around the corner' etc) than its storyline, which is not especially varied.
Dir: Lloyd French, Charley Rogers
Stars: Stan Laurel, Oliver Hardy, James Finlayson, Charlie Hall
ME, MYSELF & IRENE
2000
0
A cop with a multiple personality disorder must protect a woman on the run from her ex-boyfriend.
Proof positive that the Farrelly brothers are not filmmakers - pacing, length and mood are all wrong, but those up for it might find the odd inspired moment stuck in the foul-mouthed, vulgar, boring sludge.
Dir: Bobby Farrelly, Peter Farrelly
Stars: Jim Carrey, Renee Zellweger, Chris Cooper, Robert Forster
ME MYSELF I
1999
**
A lonely woman thinks about a decision she made in the past, and is somehow transported back to those days.
Clever, likeable fantasy comedy with some smart things to say about love and life.
Dir: Pip Karmel
Stars: Rachel Griffiths, David Roberts, Sandy Winton
MEAN CREEK
2005
**
A group of friends lure a bully into the woods to give him a comeuppance.
Interesting drama of youthful misdemeanour which peaks dramatically half way through, but convincingly portrays the behaviour of the young and their moral tussles.
Dir: Jacob Aaron Estes
Stars: Rory Culkin, Ryan Kelly, Scott Mechlowicz, Carly Schroeder
MEAN STREETS
1973
***
A small-time hood tries to survive the tough streets of Little Italy.
Superbly made slice of low life drama, convincingly acted and imaginatively scored.
Dir: Martin Scorsese
Stars: Robert De Niro, Harvey Keitel, David Proval
MEAT LOAF: TO HELL AND BACK
2000 (TV)
*
Biopic of one of the greatest rock stars of his era, Meat Loaf.
One of those sanitised made-for-television rock biographies with floppy production values and less than strict adherence to the truth (while being careful not to libel anyone); at least it uses the terrific original music and like many of its ilk is something of a guilty pleasure, an easily digestible trifle for fans. The lead gives a decent performance but the script paints Meat a little more sour than the man really is.
Dir: Jim McBride
Stars: W Earl Brown, Dedee Pfeiffer, Zachary Throne
MEATBALLS
1979
0
Teachers and pupils enjoy a summer camp.
Minor episodic comedy that might mean more to those familiar with such things as summer camps. Murray is very American and show-offy, but the film would be less without him; those who are expecting a saucy teen movie a la Porky's will be disappointed.
Dir: Ivan Reitman
Stars: Bill Murray, Harvey Atkin, Kate Lynch
MEATBALLS PART II
1984
0
Kids try to save a summer camp from financial ruin.
Stick pins in your eyes rather than watching this garbage because it'd be less painful.
Dir: Ken Wiederhorn
Stars: Richard Mulligan, Hamilton Camp, Kim Richards
MEATBALLS PART II
1984
0
Kids try to save a summer camp from financial ruin.
Stick pins in your eyes rather than watching this garbage because it'd be less painful.
Dir: Ken Wiederhorn
Stars: Richard Mulligan, Hamilton Camp, Kim Richards
MEDITERRANEAN
1963
*
Short documentary featuring Mediterranean countries and the seas around them.
Nothing that could be described as normal in any way, even by arty French standards: it's a succession of odd images, including a woman on an operating table, a blackened corpse and, most revoltingly, bullfighters killing a bull - these are scenes that should raise fury in anyone who cares about living creatures and their mistreatment by stupid, uncaring, violent humans. Overall, a holiday in the Med is definitely preferable to watching this, but it's fairly short and has a certain visual style and unusual character.
Dir: Jean-Daniel Pollet
MEDIUM COOL
1969
**
A TV cameraman finds himself involved in political violence.
Sharp, unusual social study, a useful chronicle of its time.
Dir: Haskell Wexler
Stars: Robert Forster, Verna Bloom, Peter Bonerz
THE MEDUSA TOUCH
1978
**
A man has the power to create natural disasters.
A refined cast - not to mention well-dressed extras - lend this supernatural thriller a bit of quality, but a lot of the good work is undone by an awkward structure and choppy narrative that marries police procedural, numerous flashbacks and large-scale set pieces, and thus runs into difficulties. But it has its moments and is a little different to most.
Dir: Jack Gold
Stars: Richard Burton, Lino Ventura, Lee Remick, Harry Andrews, Jeremy Brett, Gordon Jackson, Derek Jacobi
MEET ME IN ST LOUIS
1944
**
At the start of the 20th century, a family fear that they may have to move out of their beloved St Louis.
Sweet-as-candy, brightly coloured small-town tale that eventually buys into your affections; it plays especially well at Christmas.
Dir: Vincente Minnelli
Stars: Judy Garland, Margaret O’Brien, Mary Astor, Lucille Bremer
MEET MR LUCIFER
1953
0
A television set causes misery in whatever home it is put in.
Weak comedy which fights a losing battle in its attempts to satirise television, and flags after just a few minutes.
Dir: Anthony Pelissier
Stars: Stanley Holloway, Peggy Cummins, Jack Watling, Gordon Jackson, Ernest Thesiger, Ian Carmichael
MEET THE APPLEGATES
1990
0
Giant praying mantis disguise themselves as a normal suburban family.
Underwhelming satire which soon runs out of steam.
Dir: Michael Lehmann
Stars: Ed Begley Jr, Stockard Channing, Dabney Coleman
MEET THE FEEBLES
1989
0
Incest, drug abusive and sexual diseases behind the scenes of a show.
One of the more repugnant and offensive films ever made, a disgusting, nauseating and vile puppet show.
Dir: Peter Jackson
Voices: Donna Akersten, Stuart Devenie
MEET THE PARENTS
2000
**
Nurse Greg Focker meets his girlfriend's intimidating parents.
Funny, well crafted comedy that not surprisingly proved to be a popular date movie.
Dir: Jay Roach
Stars: Ben Stiller, Robert De Niro, Teri Polo, Blythe Danner, Owen Wilson
MEETING THE BEATLES IN INDIA
2020
**
Documentary about the Beatles' 1968 trip to India, where this director met them while he was visiting from America.
Similar but probably superior to the following year's The Beatles And India (qv), this is a surprisingly varied film that features great photographs of the band at the ashram, valuable contributions from Mark Lewisohn, contemporary filming, archival footage adorned by bright drawings and a few other treats (including tracking down 'Bungalow Bill'). The heartfelt love for the group certainly shines through, and one almost enters into a state of relaxed satisfaction that might be similar to what those who were there experienced at the time. David Lynch also appears, while Morgan Freeman says a few words at the beginning and the end.
Dir: Paul Saltzman
MEGAFORCE
1982
0
A team of bikers are called on whenever freedom is threatened.
Extremely lightweight sci-fi that deservedly bombed at the box office.
Dir: Hal Needham
Stars: Barry Bostwick, Michael Beck, Persis Khambatta
M3GAN
2022
*
A robotic engineer gives her orphaned niece a girl robot that proves hard to control.
In years to come this watchable, well-marketed horror will be more noted for its contribution to movies' contemporary comment on the burgeoning AI and robotics industries (and the era's predilection for diversity casting), rather than its predictable and hackneyed thriller mechanics, which are nevertheless delivered fairly efficiently. It'll also be logged as another step in the evolution of 'creepy doll' pictures, and M3gan is an impressive creation, out-acting many of the cast.
Dir: Gerard Johnstone
Stars: Allison Williams, Violet McCraw, Ronny Chieng
MELANCHOLIA
2011
***
As a rogue planet is about to collide with Earth, two sisters struggle with their own personal issues.
The less generous might say this is slow-moving, pretentious guff, but the more generous might claim it’s a feast for the eyes and the mind, even though it’s often difficult to discern the meaning of various occurrences. What can be ascertained is that the approaching planet, Melancholia, is a metaphor for death – whatever we do, it is inescapable – and the Dunst character, who because of her depression, cannot cope with the fanfare of her wedding, which is, essentially, something meaningless, is more assured as the end of all life on Earth approaches. It certainly captures the atmosphere of a heady wedding party, as well as the sense of impending doom later on, so richly in fact, that in memory it almost feels like you were there. Not a movie for the crowds, of course, but one that will likely still being written about 100 years from now; those essays may be as engrossing to read as intelligent discourses on it now are.
Dir: Lars von Trier
Stars: Kirsten Dunst, Charlotte Gainsbourg, Kiefer Sutherland, Alexander Skarsgard, Charlotte Rampling, John Hurt, Udo Kier, Stellan Skarsgard
MELINDA AND MELINDA
2004
0
Two alternating stories about a woman's attempts to sort her life out.
One story is a 'tragedy', the other is a 'comedy', although there aren't enough laughs in the latter segment to much distinguish the two, and the tone is only slightly different; the main problem with this Allen experiment, though, is we don't have a proper focal point - there are so many characters over the two tales that it's difficult to focus on or empathise with one, or even a couple (Melinda herself isn't very interesting). Neither story is engrossing, and while you can commend Woody for trying something slightly different, it had become clear that by 2004 he wasn't quite the filmmaker he had been, and some reviewers were frequently and tiresomely remarking upon the fact.
Dir: Woody Allen
Stars: Radha Mitchell, Will Ferrell, Amanda Peet, Chloe Sevigny, Chiwetel Ejiofor, Wallace Shawn
MELODY
1971
**
Two schoolchildren plan to get married despite their tender years.
Quite a unique little movie with rich credits - it was written by Alan Parker, produced by David Puttman and reunites the two young stars of Oliver!, and it’s a minor tragedy that there was no place for any of their remembrances on the 2010 DVD release. The film effortlessly gets under the skin of childhood through its naturalistic approach and child-centric viewpoint, has an idyllic soundtrack by the Bee Gees and is full of lovely little touches and details; it also bountifully shows off a south London that was about to descend into a much less happy state.
Dir: Waris Hussein
Stars: Mark Lester, Jack Wild, Tracy Hyde, James Cossins, Roy Kinnear
MEMENTO
2000
***
A man who suffers from short-term memory loss uses notes and tattoos to track down the man he thinks killed his wife.
A deliberately perplexing film and also an original and intriguing one. It was perfect for DVD, which was making its grand entrance around this time (the extras included the film 'in the right order').
Dir: Christopher Nolan
Stars: Guy Pearce, Carrie-Anne Moss, Joe Pantoliano
MEMOIRS OF A SURVIVOR
1981
0
In a future ruined Britain, a woman dreams of escape to a better place.
One of the more depressing films to be released in Britain, this dystopian drama to its credit successfully creates a bleak and chilling atmosphere thanks to its scenes of desolate, wintry streets and brooding score; but it's an inert and pretentious effort, boring and perplexing, and a salient example of how the British film industry seemed intent on destroying itself in the 1980s.
Dir: David Gladwell
Stars: Julie Christie, Leonie Mellinger, Christopher Guard
MEMOIRS OF AN INVISIBLE MAN
1992
*
After a freak accident, a businessman becomes invisible and goes on the run from the CIA.
Those who have read the excellent, highly detailed book will be disappointed by this adaptation which boasts fine special effects but simplifies the story and has the wrong actor in the lead role.
Dir: John Carpenter
Stars: Chevy Chase, Daryl Hannah, Sam Neill, Michael McKean
MEMORIES OF MURDER
2003
**
Detectives go on the trail of a serial rapist and murderer.
One of the better and more internationally successful Korean films, a based-on-fact police procedural with a little extra, and lots of good individual scenes. The ending may annoy those looking for a neat resolution but it's not without its piquancy.
Dir: Bong Joon Ho
Stars: Kang ho-Song, Kwang-rim Kim, Roe-ha Kim
MEMORY LANE
2011
0
A man goes back in time, via electric shocks in a bath, to solve the mystery of his girlfriend's death.
A sci-fi drama apparently made for just $300 - with $286 going on the catering! - this could be the first film of a director who goes on to much better things with a proper budget. Here he masks his lack of money with some style, although the non-linear narrative, handheld camerawork and air of woozy opaqueness leads to some confusion in understanding the telling. Still, there are some inventive ideas and it's remarkable considering the absence of cash behind it.
Dir: Shawn Holmes
Stars: Michael Guy Allen, Meg Barrick, Julian Curi
MEMPHIS BELLE
1990
*
Adventures of a World War 2 bomber aircraft.
Old fashioned war picture which creates a feeling of empathy with the characters as they indulge in their camaraderie.
Dir: Michael Caton-Jones
Stars: Matthew Modine, Eric Stoltz, Billy Zane, Sean Astin, John Lithgow, Jane Horrocks
MEN OF RESPECT
1991
*
A mobster murders his way to the head of his family after being told it is his destiny.
There's fun in seeing how the filmmakers 're-do' the Macbeth scenes, but the plot is perhaps adhered to too rigidly, and the production would have benefited from a classier look and star quality.
Dir: William Reilly
Stars: John Turturro, Katherine Borowitz, Peter Boyle, Rod Steiger
THE MEN OF SHERWOOD FOREST
1954
*
Robin Hood helps save the king.
Hammer's first film in colour and also the first of their three Robin Hood movies, this is a tolerable small-scale romp for juniors, with the best role going to a quite camp Beckwith as a tricksy Friar Tuck. The lead actor went on to direct films like Damien: Omen II and The Final Countdown.
Dir: Val Guest
Stars: Don Taylor, Reginald Beckwith, Eileen Moore, Douglas Wilmer
MEN O’WAR
1929
***
Stan and Ollie, as sailors, flirt with two girls in the park.
Shot entirely on location, this delightful short offers three routines: the saucy bloomers misunderstanding, the soda purchases (the highlight) and the fight on the lake, the latter two garnished by Finlayson's frequent, and hilarious, double-takes. The onscreen title on some prints reads 'Man O'War'.
Dir: Lewis R Foster
Stars: Stan Laurel, Oliver Hardy, James Finlayson, Charlie Hall
THE MENU
2022
***
A group of rich people go to a remote island for an exclusive meal, and the head chef has plenty of surprises in store.
This dark satire is a little like the same year's splendid Triangle Of Sadness, except with a smaller canvas, more horror and humour that is just as jet-black; it's like a heady amalgam of Charlie And The Chocolate Factory, An Inspector Calls, The Most Dangerous Game and others, and it works wonderfully for the most part. Dialogue zings, performances are perfectly judged, the story grips (you never know what's going to happen next) - and the food is so immaculately prepared and photographed the mouth waters. It skewers both pretentious artists and people who are not genuine.
Dir: Mark Mylod
Stars: Ralph Fiennes, Anya Taylor-Joy, Nicholas Hoult, Hong ChauMEPHISTO
1981
**
An aspiring actor colludes with the Nazis to help his career.
Carefully made study of life inside a totalitarian regime and how people are forced to bend their morals in order to survive. A little heavy going but full of good scenes and held together by a magnetic lead performance.
Dir: Istvan Szabo
Stars: Klaus Maria Brandauer, Krystyna Janda, Ildiko Bansagi
THE MERCHANT OF VENICE
2004
*
In 16th century Venice, a merchant borrows money from a Jew he despises.
Perhaps not a play that is best suited to the big screen, and perhaps not the very best adaptation of that play either, but plaudits must go to the costume designers and the cameramen, along with Pacino and Irons – Pacino in particular makes a memorable Shylock who we wish was on the screen more (the court scene would have made the more impactful climax). Shakespeare’s cunningly shaded writing of his character, and his interactions with the Christians, will remain the main point of interest for aeons to come.
Dir: Michael Radford
Stars: Al Pacino, Jeremy Irons, Joseph Fiennes, Lynn Collins
THE MERMAIDS OF TIBURON
1962
0
A diver comes across a community of mermaids.
This dippy feature had extra nude scenes added to it by the director a couple of years after its initial release and quite frankly it needed it to keep viewers awake – as lovely as the photography of the Pacific is, it’s not enough to sustain the interest. So now we get beautiful topless ladies in abundance (most of whom don’t have mermaid tails – some of them even wear flippers!) although, amusingly, our diver still doesn’t have a single sexual thought. A minor sub plot about pearl thieves attempts to interject a little drama.
Dir: John Lamb
Stars: George Rowe, Diane Webber, Gaby Martone, Timothy Carey
1981
**
An aspiring actor colludes with the Nazis to help his career.
Carefully made study of life inside a totalitarian regime and how people are forced to bend their morals in order to survive. A little heavy going but full of good scenes and held together by a magnetic lead performance.
Dir: Istvan Szabo
Stars: Klaus Maria Brandauer, Krystyna Janda, Ildiko Bansagi
THE MEPHISTO WALTZ
1971
*
A dying piano player transfers his soul to a younger man.
This was an era that loved a bit of Satanism, and this horror cheerfully buys into such things, but it lacks the tightness, tension and terror of Rosemary's Baby, that it bears resemblance to. A tad overlong and often seeming a bit 'TV-y', it nevertheless has some style and is given weight by a committed cast, with Bisset and Perkins genuine movie star beauties. Plus, there's some impressive piano playing.
Dir: Paul Wendkos
Stars: Jacqueline Bisset, Alan Alda, Barbara Perkins, Bradford Dillman, Curt Jurgens
THE MERCHANT OF VENICE
2004
*
In 16th century Venice, a merchant borrows money from a Jew he despises.
Perhaps not a play that is best suited to the big screen, and perhaps not the very best adaptation of that play either, but plaudits must go to the costume designers and the cameramen, along with Pacino and Irons – Pacino in particular makes a memorable Shylock who we wish was on the screen more (the court scene would have made the more impactful climax). Shakespeare’s cunningly shaded writing of his character, and his interactions with the Christians, will remain the main point of interest for aeons to come.
Dir: Michael Radford
Stars: Al Pacino, Jeremy Irons, Joseph Fiennes, Lynn Collins
THE MERMAIDS OF TIBURON
1962
0
A diver comes across a community of mermaids.
This dippy feature had extra nude scenes added to it by the director a couple of years after its initial release and quite frankly it needed it to keep viewers awake – as lovely as the photography of the Pacific is, it’s not enough to sustain the interest. So now we get beautiful topless ladies in abundance (most of whom don’t have mermaid tails – some of them even wear flippers!) although, amusingly, our diver still doesn’t have a single sexual thought. A minor sub plot about pearl thieves attempts to interject a little drama.
Dir: John Lamb
Stars: George Rowe, Diane Webber, Gaby Martone, Timothy Carey
MESHES OF THE AFTERNOON
1943
**
A woman falls asleep and has strange dreams about disturbing incidents in and around her home.
This surrealist short was so well shot and edited that it will long retain its freshness, even if its meaning never becomes fully apparent. It's certainly one of cinema's best representations of the dream state, and one that's been viewed many times in part due to its inclusion in the book 1001 Movies You Must See Before You Die.
Dir: Maya Deren, Alexander Hammid
Stars: Maya Deren, Alexander Hammid
MESA OF LOST WOMEN
1959
0
A mad scientist in Mexico creates giant spiders and dwarves in his lab.
Cheesy B-movie that's a mind-blowing experience: pay particular attention to the female 'actresses' and the hypnotised doctor, and listen in wonder to the narration and insistent score rumbling on and on.
Dir: Ron Ormond, Herbert Tevos
Stars: Jackie Coogan, Allan Nixon, Lyle Talbot
THE MESSAGE
1976
**
The story of the prophet Muhammed, whose claims created the religion of Islam.
As a movie this is surprisingly enjoyable, a watchable biblical epic with good production values, decent acting and well done battle scenes. In other ways it's laughable, not so much for the way it sides with the fantasists, making the 'unbelievers' the villains, but in its soft soap treatment of a religion that has never been associated with peace or civilised treatment of so many human beings. By all means watch this, but then perhaps read the chapter on the Koran in Christopher Hitchens' masterwork God Is Not Great.
Dir: Moustapha Akkad
Stars: Anthony Quinn, Irene Papas, Michael Ansara, Johnny Seka
A MESSAGE FROM MARS
1913
*
A Martian visits Earth in order to cure a selfish man.
Apparently the first ever British sci-fi film is interesting in its own primitive way, yet it would have seemed anything but primitive to audiences of the day, what with its trick effects like the Martian suddenly appearing and disappearing. With its simplistic story (similar to A Christmas Carol), mostly static photography and plain title cards (with the odd misspelling), it's a relic of its era not to be judged by today's standards but is quite loveable and should be seen by sci-fi addicts and historians. The BFI restored it in 2014 and gave it [quite effective] sound effects.
Dir: Wallett Waller
Stars: Charles Hawtrey, E Holman Clark, Crissie Bell
MESSAGE FROM SPACE
1978
0
Pilots are given special messages to fight evil invaders.
Inept Star Wars rip-off from the East.
Dir: Kinji Fukasaku
Stars: Sonny Chiba, Jerry Ito, Vic Morrow
METAMORPHOSIS
1988
0
An aging actress takes a serum she hopes will make her young again but instead it turns into a bug-eyed alien.
Home movie-like horror, hilariously abysmal on every level, one of the worst films ever made.
Dir: Kenneth J Hall, Ted Newsom
Stars: Bobbie Bresee, Richard Harrison, Gordon Mitchell
METEOR
1979
0
Scientists desperately try to stop an approaching meteor from destroying the Earth.
An expensive flop: no wonder, as it consists of old movie stars standing around talking about something terrible that might soon happen to Earth.
Dir: Ronald Neame
Stars: Sean Connery, Natalie Wood, Karl Malden, Martin Landau, Trevor Howard, Henry Fonda
METROPOLIS
1926
***
In a divided future, two people from each side fall in love.
Wondrous sci-fi masterwork that has retained its cutting edge for over 80 years, despite being presented in an amazing nine different cuts with different running times - the 1984 Giorgio Moroder version, which runs 83 minutes, probably remains the most accessible.
Dir: Fritz Lang
Stars: Alfred Abel, Gustav Frohlich, Brigitte Helm
MICHAEL & ME
2004
*
Documentary promoting gun ownership in the USA.
Quite different to Michael Moore Hates America and Manufacturing Dissent (both qv), this somewhat mischievously hangs its premise on a tiny, snatched interview with Michael Moore - most of it is a film shouting about the second amendment, but for a British viewer it never begins to convince: how could widespread gun ownership ever be seen as a good thing? It lacks the sharp editing of Moore's movies and the animated sequence comes across as desperation, putting words into Elder's adversary's mouth.
Dir/Stars: Larry Elder
MICHAEL CLAYTON
2007
*
A law firm has its 'fixer' remedy the bad situation created by a lawyer representing a dubious pharmaceutical company who has a breakdown.
Hard, cold and angry corporate drama that achieves what it sets out to do; consequently it's a film that inspires very little affection.
Dir: Tony Gilroy
Stars: George Clooney, Tom Wilkinson, Tilda Swinton, Sydney Pollack
MICHAEL MOORE HATES AMERICA
2004
*
Documentary assessing whether director and activist Moore uses fair methods.
The first of the anti-Moore docs (Manufacturing Dissent, qv, is the other) and probably the better of the two, it strongly emphasises that the ends do not justify the means and that the denial of complexity is a transgression. It hits a few easy targets (eg the fat man’s disingenuousness), is a little too cloying US-style for non-Americans, tries awfully hard to be balanced and likeable and generally makes for agreeable, gently probing viewing; ideal indeed for YouTube, where the whole film has been posted.
Dir: Michael Wilson
Stars: Michael Wilson, Michael Moore, Penn Jillette, Albert Maysles
MICKEY’S CHRISTMAS CAROL
1983
****
Scrooge McDuck is visited by ghosts on Christmas Eve and changes his mean ways.
Delightful cartoon short reminiscent of the very best of old Disney.
Dir: Burney Mattinson
Voices: Alan Young, Wayne Allwine
MICROCOSMOS
1996
*
Documentary featuring close-up photography of the insect world.
As remarkably shot as this is, audiences have been spoiled in recent years by stunning nature programmes, so its impact is lessened; it also would have benefited from proper narration.
Dir: Calude Nuridsany, Marie Perennou
Narrator: Kristin Scott Thomas
MIDAS MAN
2024
*
A young Liverpudlian record shop owner discovers the group that go on to be the biggest in the universe.
One of many Beatles related biopics and documentaries made around this time, pleasingly, this is a watchable addition to the troop, while not being high-achieving; maybe that's in part due to the budget, which of course doesn't allow actual Beatles songs on the soundtrack (but we do get Some Other Guy, Besame Mucho, Please Mr Postman and Money). What it doesn't properly do is explain why things happened: why Brian liked the Beatles, why they liked him, why they were so incredible, why Brian loved rough trade, and why he died - the film ends on a strange, sudden, flat note in that regard. If you were being even more picky you'd say the actor playing John Lennon is way too short and he and his bandmates are cartoonish. Still, the lead actor equips himself well, with his direct-to-camera recitations moving things along fine. Not bad, not amazing.
Dir: Joe Stephenson
Stars: Jacob Fortune-Lloyd, Jonah Lees, Ed Speleers, Emily Watson, Eddie Marsan
MIDNIGHT
1982
0
A teenage runaway comes across killers.
Dreary and incompetent horror that starts like a domestic drama and later goes a bit Texas Chainsaw Massacre, sometimes scored by completely inappropriate music. Tierney is the only minor redeeming feature of this tiresome mess.
Dir: John Russo
Stars: Melanie Verlin, Lawrence Tierney, John Hall
MIDNIGHT AT MADAME TUSSAUD'S
1936
0
A man accepts a bet to spend the night in the Chamber of Horrors.
Not nearly as alluring as the title suggests, this is a minor drama mainly about fraudsters; Madame Tussaud's features at the start - in what's basically an advert for the waxworks - and at the end, in some moderately creepy scenes. It's interesting from a historical point of view, seeing the likes of Hitler and Stalin in the attraction, but the script is not remarkable, and quite talk-heavy.
Dir: George Pearson
Stars: James Carew, Charles Oliver, Lucille Lisle, William Hartnell
MIDNIGHT COWBOY
1969
****
A country boy comes to the city to become a male prostitute.
Brilliantly made wallow in the underbelly of grim city existence, an unlovely hymn to desperation that has retained its vitality, if not seen it increase. The lead performances are superb, the camerawork and editing innovative and exciting, the soundtrack peerless and the dialogue perfect - it's a cinematic experience to be treasured, and the only film given an American 'X' that won the Best Film Oscar.
Dir: John Schlesinger
Stars: Dustin Hoffman, Jon Voight, Sylvia Miles, Brenda Vaccaro
MIDNIGHT EXPRESS
1978
***
A man caught smuggling drugs is thrown into a Turkish hell-hole prison.
Relentless, searing tale of one man's descent into the abyss, with the viewer sucked into its horrific world.
Dir: Alan Parker
Stars: Brad Davis, Bo Hopkins, Randy Quaid, John Hurt, Irene Miracle
MIDNIGHT FEAR
1990
*
An alcoholic detective goes after a killer. Is he lurking at a deserted farmhouse?
Wonky but not dislikeable thriller that does some things a bit differently (the soundtrack tunes are different, too), with parallel narratives for its first hour or so: the boozy cop doing his stuff, and two young people together at a deserted location (which is not mined for its erotic potential), and near the end we get a twist that stretches credulity. Not a distinguished movie, just slightly better than you're expecting.
Dir: Bill Crain
Stars: David Carradine, Craig Wasson, August West, Evan Richards
MIDNIGHT IN PARIS
2011
**
An American writer in modern-day Paris finds that at midnight he can visit the city in the 1920s and meet the likes of Hemingway, Fitzgerald and Dali.
A light fantasy that is Allen’s love letter to the European capital and him having fun with artistic figures of yesteryear, while drawing on the brighter outlook he’s come round to in recent years - its laudable (if unsubtle) message is live in the moment and don't dwell on the past. Wilson is sympathetic and that and the cinematography and the period recreation give it a warm glow, even if some of the references will go over some viewers' heads. In the main, it works, and ended up becoming one of its creator's most commercially and critically successful movies in years - his affection for the project was obvious.
Dir: Woody Allen
Stars: Owen Wilson, Rachel McAdams, Marion Cotillard, Kathy Bates, Michael Sheen, Tom Hiddleston, Adrien Brody, Lea Seydoux, Corey Stoll, Carla Bruni
MIDNIGHT LACE
1960
0
A woman is threatened by a mysterious new neighbour.
Daft, overlong and unoriginal thriller in which the glamour of the enterprise damps any potential suspense or sense of threat.
Dir: David Miller
Stars: Doris Day, Rex Harrison, John Gavin, Myrna Loy, Roddy McDowall
THE MIDNIGHT PATROL
1933
*
Stan and Ollie are inept policeman who investigate what appears to be a house break-in.
Made around their best period, this short is somewhat laborious for much of its length but culminates in some great slapstick - concluding with the boys getting shot!
Dir: Lloyd French
Stars: Stan Laurel, Oliver Hardy, Frank Terry, Charlie Hall, Tiny Sandford
MIDNIGHT RUN
1988
*
A bounty hunter escorts a bail-jumping accountant who is also wanted by the FBI and the Mafia.
Vibrant, profane comedy thriller with astute performances - but more than two hours of it is too much.
Dir: Martin Brest
Stars: Robert De Niro, Charles Grodin, Yaphet Kotto, John Ashton
MIDSOMMAR
2019
**
A group of friends travel to Sweden for a strange festival that turns ugly.
This is a mood piece, which probably explains its vast length - the makers would argue it is necessary - but patience is required, and most of the characters under-developed. While visually it's super (virtually all of it is shot in the light; there are numerous Steadicam shots of verdant landscapes) and it springs disturbing surprises, there is little doubt about what we are heading for: a reveal that shows that this cult is not too pleasant. It's certainly something to experience, but it just takes too darn long to get to its gruesome finale; acid heads may debate whether it's a trip safe enough to take.
Dir: Ari Aster
Stars: Florence Pugh, Jack Reynor, Vilhelm Blomgren
A MIDSUMMER NIGHT’S DREAM
1935
***
In a Greek wood, fairies help young lovers come together.
The visuals may not appear as glittering as they once did, but this is generally wonderful stuff and often uproariously funny. Cagney's Bottom, as they say, is one to be cherished.
Dir: William Dieterle, Max Reinhardt
Stars: James Cagney, Joe E Brown, Dick Powell, Mickey Rooney, Olivia de Havilland
A MIDSUMMER NIGHT’S DREAM
1968
*
The course of love does not run smooth in a forest in Athens.
Hall films a faithful version of Shakespeare's frankly weird play, and it feels quite 'earthy', without being overly amateurish; a fine young cast give it energy and speak the text well.
Dir: Peter Hall
Stars: Derek Godfrey, Barbara Jefford, David Warner, Judi Dench, Helen Mirren, Diana Rigg, Michael Jayston, Paul Rogers
A MIDSUMMER NIGHT’S DREAM
1996
0
A small boy dreams the play.
The heart quickly sinks on realising this is little more than a stage production being filmed and you’re soon longing for location shooting, actors who look like film stars and general cinematic gloss – light bulbs do not a magic wood make. The use of the boy is also irritating and pointless.
Dir: Adrian Noble
Stars: Lindsay Duncan, Alex Jennings, Desmond Barrit
A MIDSUMMER NIGHT’S DREAM
1999
**
The play set in 19th century Italy.
Sprightly and good-humoured version in which an attractive cast perform with alacrity in luscious vistas: everything comes together in pleasing fashion, as in the play itself. Music from the masters is a nice touch too.
Dir: Michael Hoffman
Stars: Kevin Kline, Michelle Pfeiffer, Rupert Everett, Stanley Tucci, Calista Flockhart, Anna Friel, Christian Bale, Dominic West, Sophie Marceau
A MIDSUMMER NIGHT’S SEX COMEDY
1982
**
An inventor holds a weekend party at his summer home.
The sex and the comedy may be in slightly short supply, but this minor, easy-going film does have rustic and other pleasures, at least when you consider its maker always said he was 'at two with nature': it's also his first really warm movie since Annie Hall. The cinematography transports you to a hazy, crazy summer idyll (it's especially nice to watch on a summer's night), the performers are all sympathetic, the score is classy and the plot detailing the tangled love lives of the protagonists pleasingly winds its way to a neat conclusion a la Much Ado About Nothing. It may be a lesser Allen work, but there's still enjoyment to be had for fans.
Dir: Woody Allen
Stars: Woody Allen, Mia Farrow, Jose Ferrer, Julie Hagerty, Tony Roberts, Mary Steenburgen
MIGHTY APHRODITE
1995
**
A man tracks down the mother of his bright adopted son, and she turns out to be a prostitute and porn star.
Yet another quality Allen production, this comic drama finds a nice mid-ground between serious and broad, with Sorvino the big heart of the picture with a performance that straddles the raunchy and the emotional (another great female part written by Woody) - by the end you've been touched in a way that's not common in Allen's oeuvre. The Greek Chorus adds a refreshing and engaging element to a film full of good scenes and funny touches, such as the decorations in Sorvino's apartment. It'd be superfluous to add that the cast and the dialogue are top notch (and Rapaport's character wouldn't understand the word 'superfluous' either...).
Dir: Woody Allen
Stars: Woody Allen, Mira Sorvino, Helena Bonham Carter, F Murray Abraham, Michael Rapaport
MIGHTY JOE YOUNG
1949
**
A giant gorilla goes to Hollywood but runs amok.
Enjoyable King Kong retread which tugs the odd heart string while also knocking out some excellent stop motion effects.
Dir: Ernest B Schoedsack
Stars: Terry Moore, Ben Johnson, Robert Armstrong
THE MIGHTY PEKING MAN
1977
0
A giant ape is brought back to Hong Kong, along with the female Tarzan-like lady who is friends with it.
Quite the dumbest movie, a cut-price, crazy Asian mash-up of King Kong and Tarzan (or, if you like, Sheena), whose crimes include terrible back projection and slow-motion running scenes set to mushy music. It’s not intolerable thanks to the super sexy Kraft, whose left breast is continually on the verge of popping out, and the hilarity of a man in a bad ape costume, but it’s a long way from anything resembling quality. It finishes with the ape atop a tall building being shot at – who’d have thunk it?
Dir: Meng Hua Ho
Stars: Evelyne Kraft, Danny Lee, Feng Ku, Wei Tu Lin
MIKE HAMMER: MURDER TAKES ALL
1989 (TV)
0
Mike Hammer investigates a murder in Las Vegas.
Standard Mickey Spillane intricacies, well enough done for fans of this kind of thing. Jim Carrey is the main reason to watch nowadays.
Dir: John Nicolella
Stars: Stacy Keach, Lynda Carter, Lindsay Bloom, Jim Carrey
MILDRED PIERCE
1945
**
A woman separated from her husband starts a restaurant business to provide for her daughters... but tragedy is around the corner.
A 'woman's picture' of its day that remains solid viewing today - the multi-professionalism still shines through and the story keeps the attention until the end.
Dir: Michael Curtiz
Stars: Joan Crawford, Jack Carson, Zachary Scott, Eve Arden
MILK
2008
**
The last years of San Franciscan political gay activist Harvey Milk.
Solid biopic with a fine leading performance and judicious use of contemporary footage; its message that tolerance should be promoted is persuasively put over.
Dir: Gus Van Sant
Stars: Sean Penn, Emile Hirsch, Josh Brolin, Diego Luna, James Franco
THE MILKY WAY
1936
0
A milkman accidentally becomes a prize fighter.
Lloyd after he peaked, in an energetic but dated comedy.
Dir: Leo McCarey
Stars: Harold Lloyd, Adolphe Menjou, Verree Teasdale, Helen Mack
MILLENNIUM
1989
*
A man investigating an airline disaster discovers that people from the future may be responsible.
Choppy sci-fi which requires extremely close attention if it's to be enjoyed.
Dir: Michael Anderson
Stars: Kris Kristofferson, Cheryl Ladd, Robert Joy
LE MILLION
1931
*
The race is on to find a missing jacket which contains a winning lottery ticket.
Elegantly tedious frippery which exhibits much cinematic style and invention but doesn’t engage on an emotional level, one reason perhaps being that the two male leads have little personality (or that this is a French film from 1931). It’s not long before you’re crying out, ‘Oh, just get the flipping jacket back!’
Dir: Rene Clair
Stars: Annabella, Rene Lefebvre, Paul Ollivier
MILLION DOLLAR BABY
2004
***
A crusty old trainer is persuaded to work with a budding female boxer.
Expertly made and richly rewarding tale of guilt, belief and life lessons which takes an unexpected turn for its final act.
Dir: Clint Eastwood
Stars: Clint Eastwood, Hilary Swank, Morgan Freeman
MILLION DOLLAR DUCK
1972
0
A professor finds one of his research ducks lays golden eggs.
Predictable Disney rehash of Mr Drake's Duck (qv), pedestrian until its perky climax.
Dir: Vincent McEveety
Stars: Dean Jones, Sandy Duncan, Tony Roberts
THE MILLIONAIRESS
1960
*
The world's richest woman falls in love with a humble Indian doctor.
Loren looks astonishingly beautiful throughout and Sellers' Indian impersonation adds another to his splendid repertoire, but this comic romance now looks a bit dull, slow and stagey.
Dir: Anthony Asquith
Stars: Peter Sellers, Sophia Loren, Alastair Sim, Dennis Price, Alfie Bass, Graham Stark
MINARI
2020
***
A Korean family start a family in 1980s Arkansas.
Cannily understated tale of immigration and families and hopes and dreams. It takes its time to tell a near-universal story, one that could be said to be the story of the human race itself, with little moments that stick in the memory - just as is the case with looking back on your life. Nice cinematography shows Arkansas landscapes to the full.
Dir: Lee Isaac Chung
Stars: Steven Yeun, Yeri Han, Alan S Ki
THE MIND BENDERS
1963
*
A scientist’s experiments with sensory deprivation appear to send him mad.
Advertised as a sci-fi thriller, but more of a thoughtful and mature drama with sci-fi and espionage asides; pretty well done although bereft of the climactic frenzy that is hinted at throughout the picture.
Dir: Basil Dearden
Stars: Dirk Bogarde, John Clements, Mary Ure, Wendy Craig
THE MIND OF MR SOAMES
1970
0
A 30-year-old man who has been in a coma all his life is awakened, with troublesome results.
Earnest, mildly irritating drama that meanders towards an unsatisfactory conclusion; its general appeal is pretty limited.
Dir: Alan Cooke
Stars: Terence Stamp, Robert Vaughn, Nigel Davenport, Christian Roberts
MINDHORN
2016
0
The star of a popular Eighties crime series is asked to investigate a murder in the Isle of Man, where it was shot.
It would have been fun to see much more of the Mindhorn 'TV series' in this disappointingly flat comedy which trots out familiar situations and never offers any big laughs. It's a shame, because the concept - a bionic Bergerac - has much promise and the star is likeable; maybe the character's best days are yet to come?
Dir: Sean Foley
Stars: Julian Barratt, Simon Farnaby, Russell Tovey, Andrea Riseborough, Steve Coogan
MINDSCAPE
2013
*
In the near-future, a 'Mind Detective' investigates a girl who has gone on hunger strike.
There are some decent ideas here (some derived from others), but the director's determination to repeatedly wrong-foot the audience becomes dizzying and then numbing; it's also a bit earnest and dour, with particularly bad weather.
Dir: Jorge Dorado
Stars: Mark Strong, Taissa Farmiga, Brian Cox
MINISTRY OF FEAR
1944
*
A former inmate of an asylum stumbles across a spy ring.
English-set thriller which dips after a promising start.
Dir: Fritz Lang
Stars: Ray Milland, Marjorie Reynolds, Carl Esmond
MINORITY REPORT
2002
**
In the future, criminals are caught before committing the crimes they are about to, and an officer is accused of one.
State-of-the-art sci-fi thriller with a few helpings of brilliance. If there's a fault, perhaps it's the length.
Dir: Steven Spielberg
Stars: Tom Cruise, Colin Farrell, Max von Sydow
MIRACLE BEACH
1992
0
A man's luck changes when he meets a female genie who grants his many wishes.
Silly fantasy comedy, a bit of fluff with some sauce on the side; about as demanding as an afternoon at the beach.
Dir: Skott Snider
Stars: Dean Cameron, Ami Dolenz, Felicity Waterman
MIRACLE IN MILAN
1951
**
Poor people are helped by an angel to fly away to a better place.
Curious and charming fantasy with a warm heart.
Dir: Vittorio De Sica
Stars: Francesco Golisano, Paolo Stoppa
MIRACLE IN THE RAIN
1955
*
A shy woman meets a dashing soldier on a rainy afternoon.
Schmaltzy drama with too many sub plots.
Dir: Rudolph Mate
Stars: Jane Wyman, Van Johnson, Peggie Castle
THE MIRACLE OF MORGAN’S CREEK
1944
**
A woman wakes up to discover she married someone the night before that she can't remember.
Fast and (for the time) risqué farce, sometimes funny but not very likeable.
Dir: Preston Sturges
Stars: Eddie Bracken, Betty Hutton, Diana Lynn
MIRACLE ON 34TH STREET
1947
**
A department store Santa Claus claims he is the real thing.
A Christmas holiday favourite that has survived into the modern age, partly due to its mature, deeper themes, partly due to its simply enjoyable plot. Lovely stuff, though just a smidgen too long.
Dir: George Seaton
Stars: Edmund Gwenn, Maureen O'Hara, Natalie Wood, John Payne, Gene Lockhart
MIRANDA
1948
*
A doctor catches a mermaid while on holiday.
Pleasant comedy which was no doubt seen as saucy and hilariously wacky in its day - indeed, it even had a sequel, Mad About Men (qv).
Dir: Ken Annakin
Stars: Glynis Johns, Googie Withers, David Tomlinson, Margaret Rutherford
MIRANDA
1985
0
The landlady of a small country tavern goes through a string of men.
Paper thin soft core adventures from a director who knows what he likes and likes what he knows; his films would get more polished than this one though.
Dir: Tinto Brass
Stars: Serena Grandi, Andrea Occhipinti, Franco Interlenghi
THE MIRROR
1975
0
A dying man remembers his life.
The usual abstruse and euphuistic Tarkovsky rubbish, the sort of thing someone like Benny Hill hilariously parodied at the time.
Dir: Andrei Tarkovsky
Stars: Margarita Terekhova, Filipp Yankovskiy, Ignat Daniltsev
MIRROR IMAGES
1992
0
A pair of beautiful twins get involved with a mad killer.
Inanely plotted slice of titillation with several Playboy centrefold wannabes in various states of undress.
Dir: Gregory Dark
Stars: Delia Sheppard, Jeff Conaway, Richard Arbolino
MISCHIEF
1985
0
In 1956 Ohio, a teenage boy is desperate to lose his virginity.
Uninspired and uninvolving comic drama with male characters that aren't especially likeable or cool (the film makes the mistake of showing James Dean in Rebel Without A Cause) and a narrative that meanders.
Dir: Mel Damski
Stars: Doug McKeon, Catherine Mary Stewart, Kelly Preston, Chris Nash
LES MISERABLES
1935
***
A man whose only crime was to steal a loaf of bread is persecuted by a brutal policeman.
Definitive version of Hugo's novel, full of dark, brooding atmosphere and notable for Laughton's lip-smacking personification of obsessive evil.
Dir: Richard Boleslawski
Stars: Frederic March, Charles Laughton, Cedric Hardwicke, Rochelle Hudson
LES MISERABLES
2012
*
After he is given a second chance by a priest, a peasant makes it his mission to spread kindness.
This adaptation of the popular stage musical was criticised for having non-professionals in singing roles but it has other flaws - in this incarnation the story is much less focused or compelling, and because it passes from character to character we feel little when most of them meet their inevitable demise. But it's an impressively mounted production, the Thenardiers are fun and some of the numbers suitably rousing.
Dir: Tom Hooper
Stars: Hugh Jackman, Russell Crowe, Anne Hathaway, Eddie Redmayne, Amanda Seyfried, Sacha Baron Cohen, Helena Bonham Carter
MISERY
1991
***
After a car crash, a famous novelist is cared for by a disturbed fan who makes him write a novel just as she wants it.
A connoisseur's horror story, compulsively developed with cunningly judged shock moments and the best screen psycho performance in years.
Dir: Rob Reiner
Stars: James Caan, Kathy Bates, Lauren Bacall
THE MISFITS
1961
*
A beautiful divorcee falls for an elderly cowboy in Nevada.
That none of the main stars lived long after the film's release adds a certain poignancy, but added mordancy is barely called for in this portentous, gloomy drama which moves at a slow pace throughout.
Dir: John Huston
Stars: Clark Gable, Marilyn Monroe, Montgomery Clift, Thelma Ritter, Eli Wallach
MISS PINKERTON
1932
0
A nurse does a spot of private investigation.
Lively little mystery, not as straightforward as might be expected.
Dir: Lloyd Bacon
Stars: Joan Blondell, George Brent, Mae Madison
MISS SADIE THOMPSON
1953
*
Stranded on a South Seas island together, a stern moralist takes his wrath out on a prostitute.
Another adaptation of Somerset Maugham’s fine short story Rain, which was most effectively shot in 1932 under that title, this is a slightly odd mix of lovely scenery, occasional musical numbers and the original’s themes of intolerance and redemption, here dampened down somewhat. Thus it’s curdled and not as effective as it might have been, but not for want of the star’s efforts.
Dir: Curtis Bernhardt
Stars: Rita Hayworth, Jose Ferrer, Aldo Ray, Russell Collins, Charles Bronson
MISSILE TO THE MOON
1958
0
Earthmen land on the Moon, which is ruled by bad women.
Criticising this flat-as-a-pancake sci-fi move is like shooting fish in a barrel. You can't even imagine small children liking it.
Dir: Richard E Cunha
Stars: Richard Travis, Cathy Downs, KT Stevens
MISSING
1982
**
A father searches for his more left-wing son who has gone missing in Chile.
Political thriller that holds the attention - it's fairly straightforward but has gravitas, and the feel of a Seventies South American dictatorship is well recreated.
Dir: Costa-Gavras
Stars: Jack Lemmon, Sissy Spacek, John Shea, Melanie Mayron
THE MISSION
1986
*
In the 18th century, missionaries try to protect a remote tribe from Portuguese colonists.
A film that is more impressive for how it was made rather than how the finished picture views on screen, what with its stunning photography of a land beyond civilisation and the heavy presence of the non-actor natives. Mostly slow and apparently thoughtful, it's not a movie that, for example, Daily Star readers would get much out of, but also the modern secular watcher might struggle to identify with any of these characters who perform all their actions in service of an invisible god. It's a flawed work from a flawed director.
Dir: Roland Joffe
Stars: Robert De Niro, Jeremy Irons, Ray McAnally, Aidan Quinn, Liam Neeson
MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE
1996
**
An agent attempts to discover who the traitor in his organisation is.
Exhilarating, cleverly detailed updating of the Sixties TV show with spectacularly improved action and special effects.
Dir: Brian De Palma
Stars: Tom Cruise, Jon Voight, Emmanuelle Beart, Jean Reno, Kristin Scott Thomas, Vanessa Redgrave
MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE II
2000
*
Ethan Hunt goes to Australia to stop a deadly virus from escaping.
A follow-up which replaces the cleverness of the original with violence and gunplay, not to mention over-use of ingenious face masks, but still provides decent dollops of high-octane spectacle. A better leading lady and main villain would have helped it further still. Certainly, the vast majority of people would get more out of this than The Passion Of Joan Of Arc or Man With A Movie Camera.
Dir: John Woo
Stars: Tom Cruise, Thandie Newton, Dougray Scott, Ving Rhames, Anthony Hopkins
MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE III
2006
***
Ethan Hunt battles a sadistic arms dealer while trying to keep his occupation from his girlfriend.
The apogee of modern-day action blockbusters, this spectacular powerhouse of a movie grips from beginning to end, always driven by its sensational, priceless leading man.
Dir: J J Abrams
Stars: Tom Cruise, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Jonathan Rhys Meyers, Billy Crudup, Laurence Fishburne, Simon Pegg
MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE - GHOST PROTOCOL
2011
**
The IMF is forced to go undercover when it is blamed for the bombing of the Kremlin.
The first half of this action blockbuster is particularly exhilarating, with some inspired gadgets and setpieces, but the second half doesn’t keep things rolling with quite the same momentum - Dubai proves to be more fun than India, and the big villain doesn’t have much impact. By and large, though, it’s the sort of film that makes people glad they had a night out at the cinema, with the director proving that he can handle live action adeptly and Cruise back on box office form, though one almost suspects that he’s surrounded himself with a cast that, while acceptable, is in no danger of usurping him.
Dir: Brad Bird
Stars: Tom Cruise, Jeremy Renner, Simon Pegg, Paula Patton
MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE - ROGUE NATION
2015
**
Ethan Hunt has to go rogue after the CIA enact the IMF's closure.
Neither the worst nor the best of the series, this is, as before, an enjoyable evening out, with one strikingly shot, rollicking set-piece after another - when that music starts up, it's difficult not to feel a frisson or two. Cruise's dedication to the role, and to moviemaking, is illustrated by the fact that he really did hang off a plane in flight.
Dir: Christopher McQuarrie
Stars: Tom Cruise, Rebecca Ferguson, Simon Pegg, Jeremy Renner, Alec Baldwin
MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE - FALLOUT
2018
*
The IMF have a race against time after a mission goes wrong.
The least likeable of the M:I movies has many accomplished set-pieces but is way too long and twisting to make it particularly digestible - the violence and strong profanity (in a pointless first for the series) makes it less pleasant, too.
Dir: Christopher McQuarrie
Stars: Tom Cruise, Henry Cavill, Ving Rhames, Simon Pegg
MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE - DEAD RECKONING PART ONE
2023
**
The IMF track down a key that will unlock something mysterious and powerful.
As an escape from a world gone mad, this is one of the best options of the year for a cinema visit, as you can intensely experience some stunning stunts and ingenious set-pieces, many of which make you smile because of their cheek (interspersed with scenes of close-ups of faces in exposition scenes which can be excessive). The climactic train scenes are quite something - they took a pinch of The Lady Vanishes, The 39 Steps and The Italian Job and turbo-charged them to the extreme, and then a bit more still. Of course it's all ridiculous, but at least it's in the ballpark of traditional storytelling, with no woke elements. And is Cruise our only remaining great movie star?
Dir: Christopher McQuarrie
Stars: Tom Cruise, Hayley Atwell, Simon Pegg, Ving Rhames, Rebecca Ferguson, Esai Morales
MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE - THE FINAL RECKONING
2025
*
Hunt tries to stop a rogue AI from destroying the world.
They saved the worst for last. With an earnest seriousness that frequently borders on the laughable, this is a disaster except for the flying sequences near the end, which are fairly amazing even if they apparently did involve green screen. The film's way too long, the story is ridiculous and unfathomable, and there are way too many [humourless and sexless] characters who - in a manner that could be deliciously parodied - outdo one another with massive plot exposition dumps (with a fair few of them surely picked for their sex or race). What a mess, what a bloated, bombastic, mostly torpid way to end a franchise that has given us a lot of fun.
Dir: Christopher McQuarrie
Stars: Tom Cruise, Hayley Atwell, Simon Pegg, Ving Rhames, Esai Morales
THE MISSIONARY
1983
*
A reverend is given the job of helping London's fallen women.
Disappointing comedy which rapidly nosedives after an amusing start.
Dir: Richard Loncraine
Stars: Michael Palin, Maggie Smith, Trevor Howard, Denholm Elliott, Michael Hordern
MISSISSIPPI BURNING
1988
***
In 1964 two FBI detectives go South to investigate the disappearance of three civil rights activists.
Parker's fine film immerses the viewer in the place and the time, and also works as a really excellent crime thriller; superb performances further embody it, particularly Hackman's.
Dir: Alan Parker
Stars: Gene Hackman, Willem Dafoe, Frances McDormand, Brad Dourif, R Lee Ermey
MRS DOUBTFIRE
1993
***
A man denied custody of his children dresses up as a Scottish nanny so he can look after them.
Enjoyable comedy a little on the sentimental side (as Somerset Maugham said, sentimentality is the only sentiment that rubs you the wrong way) but genuinely witty and a showcase for one of the very best performances from the star. It's a film for almost anyone (the uncritical, the critical, families, children, adults, the Golden Globes committee...).
Dir: Chris Columbus
Stars: Robin Williams, Sally Field, Pierce Brosnan, Harvey Fierstein
MRS HENDERSON PRESENTS
2005
**
In the 1930s, an elderly woman buys a London theatre and uses it to stage nude revues.
Canny little movie about love and losing love, it also provides a valuable record of the Windmill theatre, which 'never closed' during World War 2. The cast merrily get into the swing of things, the recreation of wartime London is spot-on, and the staged song and dance numbers crackle with energy, not to mention valiant unclothed females. Not a great movie, but an easily watchable one.
Dir: Stephen Frears
Stars: Judi Dench, Bob Hoskins, Will Young, Christopher Guest, Kelly Reilly
MRS MINIVER
1942
**
The village life of an English family during World War 2.
As Churchill said, priceless propaganda; as a film, a mild-mannered, episodic drama that beguiles thanks to Greer Garson's sweet and gentle yet sure performance. The final oration by the preacher may have elated at the time but could be viewed more cynically now: God is with you despite millions of you being slaughtered.
Dir: William Wyler
Stars: Greer Garson, Walter Pidgeon, Teresa Wright, Dame May Whitty, Reginald Owen, Henry Travers
MR & MRS SMITH
1941
*
A couple discover that they are not actually legally married.
Hitchcock's only out-and-out comedy, not just worth seeing for completion's sake - it's played with alacrity and easy to enjoy.
Dir: Alfred Hitchcock
Stars: Carole Lombard, Robert Montgomery, Gene Raymond
MR BLANDINGS BUILDS HIS DREAM HOUSE
1948
***
A man finds building his dream house is a nightmare.
Ebullient comedy with a bright cast acting out universal truths and amusingly familiar situations.
Dir: H C Potter
Stars: Cary Grant, Myrna Loy, Melvyn Douglas, Reginald Denny
MR CORBETT’S GHOST
1986 (TV)
0
An apprentice wishes his cruel employer dead but is full of remorse when it happens.
Scrooge-like story with some freshness and atmosphere.
Dir: Danny Huston
Stars: Paul Scofield, John Huston, Burgess Meredith
MR DEEDS GOES TO TOWN
1936
**
A naive young man from the country comes into a fortune, which causes him various problems.
Another one of Capra's winners, this is a good, humane yarn culminating in courtroom scenes in the director's best manner. The cast is excellent and there are many standout sequences.
Dir: Frank Capra
Stars: Gary Cooper, Jean Arthur, George Bancroft, Lionel Stander
MR DENNING DRIVES NORTH
1951
**
A man kills the dodgy man his daughter wants to marry, and then covers it up.
Involving, reasonably adult thriller with shots of the English countryside and many interesting faces in the cast. The opening credits are, unusually, spoken.
Dir: Anthony Kimmins
Stars: John Mills, Phyllis Calvert, Eileen Moore, Sam Wanamaker, Herbert Lom
MR DRAKE’S DUCK
1950
**
When a farm duck lays a radioactive egg, the army frantically investigate.
Pleasant, brisk comedy with a number of cheery, well known faces.
Dir: Val Guest
Stars: Douglas Fairbanks Jr, Yolande Donlan, Jon Pertwee, Wilfrid Hyde-White, Reginald Beckwith, Peter Butterworth
MR HOLMES
2015
*
Now 93 years of age, Sherlock Holmes tries to remember a case involving an unhappy woman while looking after bees in the Kent countryside.
An interesting take on one of fiction's most fascinating figures that is a little underpowered and lacking in drama; nice intentions and moments but a lack of momentum. One of the most choice sequences has Holmes going to see the made-up film Sherlock Holmes And The Lady In Grey.
Dir: Bill Condon
Stars: Ian McKellen, Laura Linney, Milo Parker, Frances de la Tour
MR HORATIO KNIBBLES
1971
0
A child becomes friends with an invisible giant rabbit.
A juvenile Harvey, very anodyne stuff, the sort of film that gets a lot of high marks on IMDb because users fondly remember watching it when they were young - they might not be so enamoured watching it now.
Dir: Robert Hird
Stars: Lesley Roach, Gary Smith, Rachel Brennock
MR PEABODY AND THE MERMAID
1948
0
A married man meets a mermaid while swimming on holiday.
Limp imitation of Miranda (qv).
Dir: Irving Pichel
Stars: William Powell, Ann Blyth, Irene Hervey
MR POPPER’S PENGUINS
2011
**
A businessman finds himself in charge of several penguins.
Silly, sentimental and formulaic it may be, but this is an entertaining family comedy improved no end by the star, who proves he’s still worth his weight in gold in sequences like the ‘slow motion’ one near the end, dancing with the penguins and his Jimmy Stewart impression; co-star Lovibond is adorable as a PA who uses words beginning with the letter 'P' a lot. It has a proper sense of its own absurdity and knows exactly what sort of film it is.
Dir: Mark Waters
Stars: Jim Carrey, Carla Gugino, Ophelia Lovibond, Angela Lansbury
MISTER ROBERTS
1955
*
Life on a US ship during World War Two.
Like a more light-hearted and vastly less interesting Caine Mutiny (qv), this is a talky, stagey version of a stage play and not one that ever catches fire - its mainly trivial incidents fail to engage.
Dir: John Ford, Mervyn LeRoy
Stars: Henry Fonda, James Cagney, Jack Lemmon, William Powell
MR SARDONICUS
1961
*
A cruel Baron whose face is fixed in a hideous grin employs a surgeon to cure him.
Fairly quirky horror, at least when it finally gets going, which takes some time, whose shadowy gothic settings, eccentric happenings and interruption by Castle near the end (to ask the audience to 'decide' how the film ends) place it firmly in the camp category. What is more disturbing, we ask, the Baron's masked face or his uncovered face?
Dir: William Castle
Stars: Ronald Lewis, Audrey Dalton, Guy Rolfe, Oskar Homolka
MR SMITH GOES TO WASHINGTON
1943
****
A young idealist becomes a senator unaware that he is a pawn in a much bigger game.
Magnificent exposé of rottenness at the heart of American politics, still utterly involving and emotionally shuddering.
Dir: Frank Capra
Stars: James Stewart, Jean Arthur, Claude Rains, Edward Arnold
MR TOPAZE
1961
*
A school teacher discovers that honesty sometimes isn't the best policy.
Long thought lost, this French-set comic drama, the only film to be credited to Sellers as director, is an interesting if unspectacular watch: it can't escape its static stage origins but the performances are rich and it's handsome in appearance.
Dir: Peter Sellers
Stars: Peter Sellers, Nadia Gray, Herbert Lom, Leo McKern, Michael Gough
MR TURNER
2014
**
The last years of the great British painter JMW Turner.
Leigh's biopic is an unusual beast, essentially a series of vignettes heavy with authenticity, from the speech patterns to the skin complaints, telling a loose story in a fractured fashion at an unhurried pace. It won't be for everyone, but scenes linger in the mind and Spall inhabits his role completely.
Dir: Mike Leigh
Stars: Timothy Spall, Paul Jesson, Dorothy Atkinson, Marion Bailey
MR VAMPIRE
1985
**
A vampire escapes from its burial to engage in a reign of terror.
Sprightly horror done in true Hong Kong style, with fast, furious and inventive action.
Dir: Ricky Lau
Stars: Ching-Ting Lam, Siu-hou Chin
MR WRONG
1985
0
A girl buys an old Jaguar car which appears to be possessed.
Odd little thriller which mixes mechanical shocks and domestic detail to little discernible effect.
Dir: Gaylene Preston
Stars: Heather Bolton, David Letch
MISTRESS AMERICA
2015
*
A wannabe writer becomes close to her effervescent future step-sister.
Lots of fast-spoken dialogue is not in short supply in this compact, occasionally amusing drama that almost turns into a stage play and in the end doesn't say all that much.
Dir: Noah Baumbach
Stars: Greta Gerwig, Lola Kirke, Seth Barrish, Heather Lind
MISTRESS PAMELA
1974
0
In the 18th century, a Lord lusts after the servant girl who works for him.
Initially attractive, then repetitive sex drama (with no sex) starring a permanently grumpy female lead. Not much fun for anyone.
Dir: Jim O’Connolly
Stars: Ann Michelle, Julian Barnes, Anthony Sharp
MOBY DICK
1956
*
A sea captain becomes obsessed with tracking down a white whale.
Slow moving character study typical of its director.
Dir: John Huston
Stars: Gregory Peck, Richard Basehart, Leo Genn, James Robertson Justice
MODERN TIMES
1936
**
A man is kicked out of his job and becomes a factotum and law-breaker.
Occasionally striking social comedy that suffers from the same problem that many Chaplins do - it's not very funny.
Dir: Charles Chaplin
Stars: Charles Chaplin, Paulette Goddard, Tiny Sandford
MODESTY BLAISE
1966
0
A glamorous secret agent gets involved with a diamond thief.
Confused pop art pap, all style and no substance.
Dir: Joseph Losey
Stars: Terence Stamp, Monica Vitti, Dirk Bogarde, Harry Andrews
MODS & ROCKERS
1965
0
Short in which young people dance to music, mainly jazzy versions of Beatles songs Please Please Me, From Me To You, I Wanna Be Your Man, Don't Bother Me, Bad To Me (one they gave away to Billy J Kramer), This Boy and She Loves You.
Even most ardent Beatles fans had no idea this existed until plucked from obscurity by Talking Pictures TV in 2022; it's a quaint little piece almost entirely devoted to dance, which may not be everybody's cup of tea. Thankfully it's not longer, even though it is colourful and not totally devoid of historical import. Keep an eye out for the curious, brief, sly gay moments.
Dir: Kenneth Hume
Stars: Western Theatre Ballet, other dancers
THE MOLE PEOPLE
1956
0
Archaeologists discover a violent and superstitious civilisation living inside Earth.
Dopey B-picture that gives Fifties sci-fi a bad name – it unfolds in a very perfunctory fashion and its message is hardly revelatory. Its dull padding includes a five-minute introduction by a university professor.
Dir: Virgil W Vogel
Stars: John Agar, Hugh Beaumont, Cynthia Patrick, Alan Napier
UN MOMENT D'EGAREMENT
MONAMOUR
2005
0
A woman seeks another lover as she grows dissatisfied with her husband.
Drawn out sextravaganza with a predilection for absurd prosthetics.
Dir: Tinto Brass
Stars: Anna Jimskaia, Nela Lucic, Riccardo Marino
MONDO BALORDO
1964
*
This mondo movie includes such delights as giant turtle slaughter, camels' urine used to lighten hair, a lesbian club, a beauty contest, opium addicts, a Jamaican woman with five husbands, the Berlin Wall and a lot more.
One of the weaker films of its type: it's really only Karloff's rich tones that offer any quality in what's often a dull, silly and too Italian picture, with its hilariously random selection of items, some of which are inordinately mild, some a little more bizarre. One wonders how much of it was true (probably not much), and how many viewers trusted in its veracity at the time.
Dir: Roberto Bianchi Montero, Albert T Viola
Narrator: Boris Karloff
MONDO BIZARRO
1966
*
Documentary purporting to look at eccentric things from around the world, including white slave trading, glass eating, lying on a bed of nails, massage with raw eggs, Germans enjoying a Nazi play, Vietnam protests and a lingerie factory.
From the opening title sequence of footage supposedly secretly taken in a women's changing room it's obvious that this is a very fake and lascivious mondo movie, one which pretends that it was shot around the world exposing real bizarre behaviour. That doesn't mean it's a bad watch, although some sequences do go on for far too long.
Dir: Lee Frost
Narrator: Calude Emmand
MONDO CANE
1962
**
The first of the 'Mondo' movies, the often bizarre documentaries featuring curious and sometimes extreme behaviour from around the world. This one features the hilariously random delights of bullfighting, very drunk German people, dogs being eaten in China, a sea turtle disorientated by nuclear radiation, Australian life-savers, animals being decapitated, cows being massaged, gooses being force-fed to produce foie gras, and much more.
Later Mondo films tended to be much more extreme, with a good deal of animal cruelty, and subsequently few are legally available in Britain. This one is, and it's actually a pretty decent watch (despite the horrible scenes of animal butchery), not devoid of humour and a genuine eye-opener in many cases. Critics may argue as to its intentions and social worth, but it's undeniably fascinating and worthy of discussion.
Dir: Paolo Cavara, Gualtiero Jacopetti, Franco Prosperi
Narrator: Stefano Sibaldi
MONDO CANE 2
1963
**
Sequel to the above, which includes: fighting birds, tourists bathing in radioactive mud, Parisian transvestites, bizarre religious rituals, models posing for lurid thriller book covers, an unusual method of painting, an African tribe that is dying out because they only eat alligators, and much more.
A slightly milder follow-up, shorter too, full of fascinating examples of human behaviour: a few years later they would have been on Channel 4's Eurotrash programme, and one wonders how many of these strange things still go on. One of the most accessible of all the mondo movies.
Dir: Gualtiero Jacopetti, Franco Prosperi
MONDO FREUDO
1966
0
The delights this time include topless waitresses, strippers, frisky teens on the beach at night, nude painting, lesbian prostitutes, a Mexican slave market and devil worship - essentially anything in which women's bare breasts can be shown.
This one gives mondos a bad name (!) in that everything in it is obviously fake - the 'Mexican' slave auction was shot in a Californian valley for instance, and it's amusing when the narrator refers to London's 'Piccadilly Square' and that city's prostitute's cards have American spellings - and while it's not as painful to watch as, say, a Michael Bay film, it would have been more appealing at half the length.
Dir: Lee Frost
MONDO HOLLYWOOD
1967
0
Documentary about the Californian scene between 1965 and 1967.
Boring chronicle of what must have been an exciting time: it shuffles through unprepossessing things, including a vegetarian millionaire, topless waitresses, a Princess Margaret visit, Ronald Reagan, transvestites and more.
Dir: Robert Carl Cohen
MONDO MAGIC
1975
0
Documentary about the lifestyles of primitive African tribes.
A harrowing and disgusting film which includes footage of sexual practices, childhood mutilation and animal killing. Repulsive.
Dir: Alfredo Castiglioni, Angelo Castiglioni, Guido Guerrasio
1977
*
Two fathers take their teenage daughters away on holiday - one of the girls falls for her dad's friend.
This was remade as Blame It On Rio (qv) as a broader comedy, but the original works best as it more cogently examines the feelings of teen and older man (especially) attracted to one another. While its abrupt ending doesn't satisfy, it's nevertheless a worthwhile film to spend time with and the sort unlikely to be made in the 2020s.
Dir: Claude Berri
Stars: Jean-Pierre Marielle, Victor Lanoux, Christine Dejoux
MON ONCLE
1958
*
Monsieur Hulot can't get to grips with the technology at his family's house.
A selection of slight gags spread over a very long period, pleasant enough if you're in the mood, and patient, and with gleaming, distinctive production design. Is that enough though? For Tati/French film-loving critics it seems yes, but those in search of a clearer narrative or more than a handful of chuckles might disagree - some of the humour is so subtle that when a gag happens, you're almost unsure whether it actually is a gag. And Tati isn't in it for long periods.
Dir: Jacques Tati
Stars: Jacques Tati, Jean-Pierre Zola, Adrienne Servantie
MONAMOUR
2005
0
A woman seeks another lover as she grows dissatisfied with her husband.
Drawn out sextravaganza with a predilection for absurd prosthetics.
Dir: Tinto Brass
Stars: Anna Jimskaia, Nela Lucic, Riccardo Marino
MONDO BALORDO
1964
*
This mondo movie includes such delights as giant turtle slaughter, camels' urine used to lighten hair, a lesbian club, a beauty contest, opium addicts, a Jamaican woman with five husbands, the Berlin Wall and a lot more.
One of the weaker films of its type: it's really only Karloff's rich tones that offer any quality in what's often a dull, silly and too Italian picture, with its hilariously random selection of items, some of which are inordinately mild, some a little more bizarre. One wonders how much of it was true (probably not much), and how many viewers trusted in its veracity at the time.
Dir: Roberto Bianchi Montero, Albert T Viola
Narrator: Boris Karloff
MONDO BIZARRO
1966
*
Documentary purporting to look at eccentric things from around the world, including white slave trading, glass eating, lying on a bed of nails, massage with raw eggs, Germans enjoying a Nazi play, Vietnam protests and a lingerie factory.
From the opening title sequence of footage supposedly secretly taken in a women's changing room it's obvious that this is a very fake and lascivious mondo movie, one which pretends that it was shot around the world exposing real bizarre behaviour. That doesn't mean it's a bad watch, although some sequences do go on for far too long.
Dir: Lee Frost
Narrator: Calude Emmand
MONDO CANE
1962
**
The first of the 'Mondo' movies, the often bizarre documentaries featuring curious and sometimes extreme behaviour from around the world. This one features the hilariously random delights of bullfighting, very drunk German people, dogs being eaten in China, a sea turtle disorientated by nuclear radiation, Australian life-savers, animals being decapitated, cows being massaged, gooses being force-fed to produce foie gras, and much more.
Later Mondo films tended to be much more extreme, with a good deal of animal cruelty, and subsequently few are legally available in Britain. This one is, and it's actually a pretty decent watch (despite the horrible scenes of animal butchery), not devoid of humour and a genuine eye-opener in many cases. Critics may argue as to its intentions and social worth, but it's undeniably fascinating and worthy of discussion.
Dir: Paolo Cavara, Gualtiero Jacopetti, Franco Prosperi
Narrator: Stefano Sibaldi
MONDO CANE 2
1963
**
Sequel to the above, which includes: fighting birds, tourists bathing in radioactive mud, Parisian transvestites, bizarre religious rituals, models posing for lurid thriller book covers, an unusual method of painting, an African tribe that is dying out because they only eat alligators, and much more.
A slightly milder follow-up, shorter too, full of fascinating examples of human behaviour: a few years later they would have been on Channel 4's Eurotrash programme, and one wonders how many of these strange things still go on. One of the most accessible of all the mondo movies.
Dir: Gualtiero Jacopetti, Franco Prosperi
MONDO FREUDO
1966
0
The delights this time include topless waitresses, strippers, frisky teens on the beach at night, nude painting, lesbian prostitutes, a Mexican slave market and devil worship - essentially anything in which women's bare breasts can be shown.
This one gives mondos a bad name (!) in that everything in it is obviously fake - the 'Mexican' slave auction was shot in a Californian valley for instance, and it's amusing when the narrator refers to London's 'Piccadilly Square' and that city's prostitute's cards have American spellings - and while it's not as painful to watch as, say, a Michael Bay film, it would have been more appealing at half the length.
Dir: Lee Frost
MONDO HOLLYWOOD
1967
0
Documentary about the Californian scene between 1965 and 1967.
Boring chronicle of what must have been an exciting time: it shuffles through unprepossessing things, including a vegetarian millionaire, topless waitresses, a Princess Margaret visit, Ronald Reagan, transvestites and more.
Dir: Robert Carl Cohen
MONDO MAGIC
1975
0
Documentary about the lifestyles of primitive African tribes.
A harrowing and disgusting film which includes footage of sexual practices, childhood mutilation and animal killing. Repulsive.
Dir: Alfredo Castiglioni, Angelo Castiglioni, Guido Guerrasio
Narrator: Mac Mauro Smith
MONDO NEW YORK
1988
*
Documentary about the alternative arts scene in New York.
Put 'mondo' in your film's title and it almost seems to become automatically better. This is a fairly slapdash effort but it does capture the underground scene of the time, featuring as it does a chap who bites the heads off rodents, a woman who strips, covers herself with stuff and then yells a lot, a cock-fight, plus assorted punks and lost souls and more; probably the best, and most historically interesting, bits feature edgy comedians in Central Park. An accidental pleasure for eccentrics.
Dir: Harvey Keith
MONDO TOPLESS
1966
0
Documentary about topless models and dancers.
Not much of a movie: an hour of large-chested ladies irritatingly unable to stop gyrating for a second, narrated by a man who sounds like he's constantly on the verge of a heart attack, but unfortunately isn't. Despite his reputation, Meyer was a director who was utterly clueless about erotica, and this trivial, pieced-together slice of trash is typical of his dismal output.
Dir: Russ Meyer
Narrator: John Furlong
THE MONEY PIT
1986
*
A young couple try to repair a decrepit house.
Thin semi-remake of Mr Blandings Builds His Dream House (qv) with a few funny moments.
Dir: Richard Benjamin
Stars: Tom Hanks, Shelley Long, Maureen Stapleton, Joe Mantegna
MONEYBALL
2011
**
The manager of a baseball team assembles a winning team on a low budget.
One of the better movies about sport, even though its biggest cheerleaders will likely be baseball fans. Still, it's a solid, confident picture bossed by a leading man at the top of his game, and some of the sport psychology and statistical analysis should appeal to more than the core group.
Dir: Bennett Miller
Stars: Brad Pitt, Jonah Hill, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Robin Wright, Chris Pratt
MONIQUE
1969
*
An au pair has a sexual tryst with both the parents whose child she is looking after.
Well handled sexual drama done with a marked restraint and a little humour; also mildly historic in its frank treatment of subject matter.
Dir: John Brown
Stars: David Sumner, Joan Alcorn, Sibylla Kay
MONKEY BUSINESS
1931
**
The Marx Brothers cause chaos aboard a ship.
Variable farce in which the supporting cast struggle even more than usual to compete with the Marxes.
Dir: Norman Z McLeod
Stars: Groucho Marx, Harpo Marx, Chico Marx, Zeppo Marx, Thelma Todd
MONKEY BUSINESS
1952
**
A chemist downs a potion which causes him to act like a child.
Disarming screwball comedy performed by greats, although there are some gaps between the laughs.
Dir: Howard Hawks
Stars: Cary Grant, Ginger Rogers, Charles Coburn, Marilyn Monroe, Hugh Marlowe
MONKEY SHINES
1988
*
A man in a wheelchair has a monkey to help him, but it turns against him.
Unusual small-scale shocker with a tense and violent climax.
Dir: George A Romero
Stars: Jason Beghe, John Pankow, Kate McNeil
THE MONKEY'S PAW
1948
0
A severed monkey's paw brings twisted luck to anyone who wishes on it.
One of many versions of this tale, and a lesser one, a cheap B-picture which takes an age to get to the meat of the story (the mother wishing her dead son was still alive) - before this an inordinate amount of characters ramble about the place talking incessantly. A long way behind 1972's Tales From The Crypt segment Wish You Were Here (qv), the best adap of the story.
Dir: Norman Lee
Stars: Milton Rosmer, Megs Jenkins, Michael Martin Harvey
THE MONOLITH MONSTERS
1957
*
Strange alien rocks threaten to destroy a small town, and then the whole world.
A different sort of alien invasion thankfully, and one that requires scientists to do a proper bit of thinking. The story mainly jogs along fine and it helps that the special effects are pretty decent; a modest success, based on a story by Jack Arnold.
Dir: John Sherwood
Stars: Grant Williams, Les Tremayne, Lola Albright
MONDO TOPLESS
1966
0
Documentary about topless models and dancers.
Not much of a movie: an hour of large-chested ladies irritatingly unable to stop gyrating for a second, narrated by a man who sounds like he's constantly on the verge of a heart attack, but unfortunately isn't. Despite his reputation, Meyer was a director who was utterly clueless about erotica, and this trivial, pieced-together slice of trash is typical of his dismal output.
Dir: Russ Meyer
Narrator: John Furlong
THE MONEY PIT
1986
*
A young couple try to repair a decrepit house.
Thin semi-remake of Mr Blandings Builds His Dream House (qv) with a few funny moments.
Dir: Richard Benjamin
Stars: Tom Hanks, Shelley Long, Maureen Stapleton, Joe Mantegna
MONEYBALL
2011
**
The manager of a baseball team assembles a winning team on a low budget.
One of the better movies about sport, even though its biggest cheerleaders will likely be baseball fans. Still, it's a solid, confident picture bossed by a leading man at the top of his game, and some of the sport psychology and statistical analysis should appeal to more than the core group.
Dir: Bennett Miller
Stars: Brad Pitt, Jonah Hill, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Robin Wright, Chris Pratt
MONIQUE
1969
*
An au pair has a sexual tryst with both the parents whose child she is looking after.
Well handled sexual drama done with a marked restraint and a little humour; also mildly historic in its frank treatment of subject matter.
Dir: John Brown
Stars: David Sumner, Joan Alcorn, Sibylla Kay
MONKEY BUSINESS
1931
**
The Marx Brothers cause chaos aboard a ship.
Variable farce in which the supporting cast struggle even more than usual to compete with the Marxes.
Dir: Norman Z McLeod
Stars: Groucho Marx, Harpo Marx, Chico Marx, Zeppo Marx, Thelma Todd
MONKEY BUSINESS
1952
**
A chemist downs a potion which causes him to act like a child.
Disarming screwball comedy performed by greats, although there are some gaps between the laughs.
Dir: Howard Hawks
Stars: Cary Grant, Ginger Rogers, Charles Coburn, Marilyn Monroe, Hugh Marlowe
MONKEY SHINES
1988
*
A man in a wheelchair has a monkey to help him, but it turns against him.
Unusual small-scale shocker with a tense and violent climax.
Dir: George A Romero
Stars: Jason Beghe, John Pankow, Kate McNeil
THE MONKEY'S PAW
1948
0
A severed monkey's paw brings twisted luck to anyone who wishes on it.
One of many versions of this tale, and a lesser one, a cheap B-picture which takes an age to get to the meat of the story (the mother wishing her dead son was still alive) - before this an inordinate amount of characters ramble about the place talking incessantly. A long way behind 1972's Tales From The Crypt segment Wish You Were Here (qv), the best adap of the story.
Dir: Norman Lee
Stars: Milton Rosmer, Megs Jenkins, Michael Martin Harvey
THE MONOLITH MONSTERS
1957
*
Strange alien rocks threaten to destroy a small town, and then the whole world.
A different sort of alien invasion thankfully, and one that requires scientists to do a proper bit of thinking. The story mainly jogs along fine and it helps that the special effects are pretty decent; a modest success, based on a story by Jack Arnold.
Dir: John Sherwood
Stars: Grant Williams, Les Tremayne, Lola Albright
MONSIEUR BEAUCAIRE
1946
*
A barber disguises himself as a nobleman and gets into all sorts of trouble involving France and Spain.
It's easy to see why Woody Allen cited this film and played a similar character to Hope in some of his films, most notably Love And Death, because Hope is indeed an agreeable wise-cracker who's the heart of the movie; his dialogue still makes you smile. Shame it's not in colour, it might have looked splendid.
Dir: George Marshall
Stars: Bob Hope, Joan Caulfield, Patric Knowles, Marjorie Reynolds
MONSIEUR HIRE
1991
*
A quiet middle-aged man is suspected of a killing in a small village.
Cold, well made, low key drama that struggles to involve the viewer.
Dir: Patrice Leconte
Stars: Michael Blanc, Sandrine Bonnaire, Luc Thuillier
MONSIEUR HULOT’S HOLIDAY
1953
**
An accident-prone man causes problems at a beach resort.
A famous comedy that likely seems even more arthouse to us now than it did then, especially to French viewers, at the time - there aren't many big laughs and its style is unusual, unique even, with naturalistic sound effects (plus a jazz score) that incessantly capture the riviera's ambience, giving the film an almost otherworldly feel. And what a nice world, a vanished, gentle France where people largely talk in banalities and Hulot can do his harmless clowning (which often shows impeccable timing). It's true that there are some sequences which just seem bland and irrelevant, but everything coalesces to put you in the mind of a most pleasant vacation while not letting you forget that cinematic skill is ever present.
Dir: Jacques Tati
Stars: Jacques Tati, Nathalie Pascaud, Micheline Rolla
MONSIEUR VERDOUX
1947
**
An ex-bank clerk is a bigamist and a murderer.
Curious, interesting Chaplin opus, a mix of styles that didn't find favour with US audiences, perhaps not surprisingly. There are many good scenes, and Chaplin is quite magnetic, but the pacing's a bit off and its overall message is slightly dubious.
Dir: Charles Chaplin
Stars: Charles Chaplin, Mady Correll, Martha Raye
THE MONSTER AND THE GIRL
1940
0
A scientist transplants the mind of a man accused of murder into a gorilla.
Low budget horror which improves after a slow start.
Dir: Stuart Heisler
Stars: Ellen Drew, Robert Paige, Paul Lukas, Onslow Stevens, George Zucco
A MONSTER CALLS
2016
*
A tree monster helps a boy cope with his single mum's cancer.
Maudlin, one-note fantasy drama that may speak to a few who've suffered but could struggle to find wide appeal: probably too grey and troubling for youngsters and too whimsical and simple for older audiences, it suffers from a lead character who's neither amiable enough nor has a world expansive enough to invite much sympathy. It's fitting that the strikingly shot tree sequences are best, because the film, which isn't without distinct personality, struggles to get the most out of the human elements.
Dir: JA Bayona
Stars: Lewis MacDougall, Sigourney Weaver, Felicity Jones, Toby Kebbell
THE MONSTER CLUB
1980
0
A writer of horror stories visits a strange disco populated by monsters where he is told three spooky tales about a 'shadmock', a vampire and a 'humgoo'.
Sadly, a failure: all the stories are weak, the concept is silly and interjections of mediocre pop songs really doesn't help. Story one is predictable; story two is a somewhat dumb would-be comic tale; story three never fulfils its promise, but is overly familiar anyway; the best bit is probably Price's late monologue describing human beings as the real monsters.
Dir: Roy Ward Baker
Stars: Vincent Price, John Carradine, Donald Pleasence, Britt Ekland, Richard Johnson, Barbara Kellerman, Simon Ward, Stuart Whitman, Patrick Magee
MONSTER FROM GREEN HELL
1957
0
Wasps exposed to radiation grow to enormous sizes and attack an expedition in Africa.
Typical 1950s monster madness with a small budget and intelligence to match.
Dir: Kenneth G Crane
Stars: Jim Davis, Robert Griffin, Joel Fluellen
THE MONSTER MAKER
1944
0
A mad scientist makes the father of the woman he wants to marry deformed, and will only cure him if she marries him.
Rated H for Horrific in Britain, perhaps aptly as it is quite a dark and twisted tale that's not too badly done for the price of a few dollars, with many tropes of the era, including an angry gorilla.
Dir: Sam Newfield
Stars: J Carrol Naish, Ralph Morgan, Tal Birell
THE MONSTER OF HIGHGATE PONDS
1961
0
Three children are given a big egg from Malaya which hatches a friendly monster.
A Children's Film Foundation production typical of the time, complete with basic special effects and very nice families with received pronunciation. Painfully anodyne, at least it features plenty of location footage of early Sixties London. The director, who helmed Went The Day Well, is said to have bemoaned what had become of his career by this stage.
Dir: Alberto Cavalcanti
Stars: Ronald Howard, Frederick Piper, Michael Balfour
THE MONSTER OF PIEDRAS BLANCAS
1959
0
A Black Lagoon-type creature pulls the heads off Californian residents.
Pretty basic monster mash, with more talk about him than sight of his actual deeds; he turns up near the end to stomp around a bit.
Dir: Irvin Berwick
Stars: Les Tremayne, Forrest Lewis, John Harmon
MONSTER ON THE CAMPUS
1958
0
A scientist accidentally turns himself into a rampaging evolutionary throwback.
Stiff mini-budgeter from a director who made some corkers but also several clinkers: this is closer to the latter, a talky monster movie with a very dumb scientist at the forefront - the audience realises long before he does what's going on. A couple of surprising moments - the hanging woman, the axe in the face - don't really atone for the cheesiness, not least the obvious mask on the creature.
Dir: Jack Arnold
Stars: Arthur Franz, Joanna Moore, Judson Pratt, Troy Donahue
THE MONSTER SQUAD
1987
*
A group of kids battle a band of scary creatures.
Homage to old Universal horror movies which could have been a lot worse.
Dir: Fred Dekker
Stars: Andre Gower, Robby Kiger, Stephen Macht
THE MONSTER THAT CHALLENGED THE WORLD
1957
0
An earthquake unleashes prehistoric monsters.
C-movie Jaws precursor.
Dir: Arnold Laven
Stars: Tim Holt, Audrey Dalton, Hans Conried
MONSTER ON THE CAMPUS
1958
0
A scientist accidentally turns himself into a rampaging evolutionary throwback.
Stiff mini-budgeter from a director who made some corkers but also several clinkers: this is closer to the latter, a talky monster movie with a very dumb scientist at the forefront - the audience realises long before he does what's going on. A couple of surprising moments - the hanging woman, the axe in the face - don't really atone for the cheesiness, not least the obvious mask on the creature.
Dir: Jack Arnold
Stars: Arthur Franz, Joanna Moore, Judson Pratt, Troy Donahue
THE MONSTER SQUAD
1987
*
A group of kids battle a band of scary creatures.
Homage to old Universal horror movies which could have been a lot worse.
Dir: Fred Dekker
Stars: Andre Gower, Robby Kiger, Stephen Macht
THE MONSTER THAT CHALLENGED THE WORLD
1957
0
An earthquake unleashes prehistoric monsters.
C-movie Jaws precursor.
Dir: Arnold Laven
Stars: Tim Holt, Audrey Dalton, Hans Conried
THE MONSTER WALKS
1932
0
On a dark and stormy night in an old dark house a gorilla is after an heiress.
Creaky, stilted chiller performed by actors who haven't got the hang of the talkies yet, suitably cranky and weird. The gorilla was a mainstay of many of these sorts of features of the era and here we get that and good old Willie Best, here credited as 'Sleep n' Eat', curiously.
Dir: Frank R Strayer
Stars: Mischa Auer, Martha Mattox, Rex Lease
MONSTERS, INC
2001
*
A little girl gets lost in Monstropolis, a town full of monsters who scare children.
Thinly plotted but pleasing cartoon with impressive technical credits; we almost take superb animation for granted nowadays.
Dir: Pete Docter
Voices: John Goodman, Billy Crystal, Mary Gibbs, Steve Buscemi, James Coburn, Jennifer Tilly, Frank Oz
MONTENEGRO
1981
0
A wayward housewife indulges in eccentric behaviour.
Weird, sexy drama that is difficult to connect with.
Dir: Dusan Makavejev
Stars: Susan Anspach, Erland Josephson, James Marsh
MONTEREY POP
1968
*
Documentary featuring performances at an international rock festival.
Variable, somewhat dated piece which inevitably pales in comparison with Woodstock (qv).
Dir: D A Pennebaker
Stars: Jimi Hendrix, The Who, The Animals, Simon and Garfunkel, Jefferson Airplane, The Mamas and The Papas, Ravi Shankar
MONTY PYTHON AND THE HOLY GRAIL
1975
***
King Arthur and his knights embark on a fraught search for the Grail.
Ambitious fantasia with a tremendous visual sense and a frequently hilarious script.
Dir: Terry Gilliam, Terry Jones
Stars: Graham Chapman, John Cleese, Michael Palin, Eric Idle, Terry Jones, Terry Gilliam, Connie Booth, Carol Cleveland, Neil Innes
MONTY PYTHON LIVE AT THE HOLLYWOOD BOWL
1982
*
The Monty Python team perform sketches in front of a live audience.
Many of the Pythons’ most famous sketches are here, plus a few rare ones, along with some songs and a bit of animation. Picture and sound quality are not great, and much of it is decidedly over-familiar, but the performers are on good form and generously appreciated by the whooping audience.
Dir: Terry Hughes, Ian MacNaughton
Stars: Graham Chapman, John Cleese, Michael Palin, Eric Idle, Terry Jones, Terry Gilliam, Carol Cleveland, Neil Innes
MONTY PYTHON’S LIFE OF BRIAN
1979
****
At the time of Christ, a man named Brian is mistaken for the new messiah.
Rollicking Python epic which happens to be one of the cinema's sharpest satires on the foolishness of organised religion. Probably their finest achievement, it goes from one famous, richly scripted, beautifully performed routine to the next with hardly a pause for breath.
Dir: Terry Jones
Stars: Graham Chapman, John Cleese, Michael Palin, Eric Idle, Terry Jones, Terry Gilliam, Carol Cleveland, Neil Innes
MONTY PYTHON’S THE MEANING OF LIFE
1983
**
A series of sketches about sex, death, live organ transplants, over-eating and more.
For this movie the Pythons returned to the sketch format and produced their most extreme and, in some eyes, most tasteless material for it. It's probably improved with age (a handful of sequences have become classics) and the fact that it was their last work together gives it added value; certainly, while bits of it are only tediously funny, other bits sing, literally so in the many splendid song and dance sequences.
Dir: Terry Jones
Stars: Graham Chapman, John Cleese, Michael Palin, Eric Idle, Terry Jones, Terry Gilliam, Carol Cleveland
MOON
2009
*
An astronaut on a three-year solo mission on the Moon appears to be having delusions.
Thought-provoking sci-fi with an ingenious central idea that has been stretched to feature length, so it doesn’t satisfy most until near the very end; Rockwell’s performance is solid throughout, however. All contemporary reviews of the film tirelessly used the words ‘Zowie Bowie’, ‘2001’, ‘Solaris’, ‘Silent Running’, ‘thoughtful’, ‘low budget’...
Dir: Duncan Jones
Stars: Sam Rockwell, Kevin Spacey
THE MOON AND SIXPENCE
1942
**
A respectable Victorian stockbroker suddenly ups and leaves his family to become a painter living in poverty.
Elegant adaptation of Maugham’s novel which generally keeps the book’s unusual structure intact, resulting in an unconventional film that works best as a portrait of a man who gives up everything for his art. The climactic flash of Technicolor, similar to that in the director’s The Picture Of Dorian Gray (qv), gives the viewer a genuine jolt. Some great performances, too.
Dir: Albert Lewin
Stars: George Sanders, Herbert Marshall, Steven Geray, Doris Dudley
MOON 44
1990
0
In 2038, a corporate agent is assigned to protect a mining station on a remote moon.
Cramped sci-fi with dull, dark hardware and annoying and underwritten characters.
Dir: Roland Emmerich
Stars: Michael Pare, Malcolm McDowell, Lisa Eichhorn
MOON OF THE WOLF
1972 (TV)
0
A werewolf plagues a Louisiana town.
Formulaic shocker.
Dir: Daniel Petrie
Stars: David Janssen, Barbara Rush, Bradford Dillman
THE MOON OVER THE ALLEY
1975
*
A house in Notting Hill with a large variety of inmates is threatened with demolition.
Almost as strange as these directors’ Duffer (qv), this musical drama is quite unlike any other film – the thing is, though, Despins and Dumaresq were semi-good filmmakers, not the complete package, because while this has much beauty and beguiling quirks its narrative lacks perpetual motion. With a touch more definition and a little less length it would have been even better, as there are some delightful sequences – many of the songs are superb - and the enterprise is a worthy one.
Dir: Joseph Despins, William Dumaresq
Stars: Doris Fishwick, Peter Farrell, Erna May, John Gay
MOON ZERO TWO
1969
0
Criminals aim to crash an asteroid made of sapphire into a moon and collect the fragments.
Kitsch sci-fi uncertain of what approach to take, now extremely dated.
Dir: Roy Ward Baker
Stars: James Olson, Catherine Schell, Warren Mitchell, Adrienne Corri, Bernard Bresslaw, Michael Ripper, Carol Cleveland
MOONAGE DAYDREAM
2022
***
Documentary about David Bowie, one of the great artists and stars of the 20th century.
Something of an assault on the senses, this is a treat for the eyes and ears as we go on a relentless psychedelic-tinged journey through most of Bowie's life, as told by the man himself, a conceit which works (he had wisdom and positivity, articulately expressed). In true Bowie fashion the real and the non-real are mixed together (there are scenes from The Man Who Fell To Earth, for instance) and there is plenty of concert footage interspersed with press conferences, interviews and images of his artwork. Family-approval means that the rough edges of his life are smoothed off but for most fans this is an accomplished and absorbing odyssey, adeptly edited.
Dir: Brett Morgen
MOONLIGHT
2016
**
A black boy in a tough neighbourhood grows up to be gay.
The reason this slight drama was wildly overrated and over-awarded was because the film industry was in the throes of white guilt at the time of its release and determined to shout about any movie that spoke of the 'black experience'. It has lyrical qualities but is narrow, shallow, cheap, underwritten, cliched and weakly characterised, with a dull, taciturn lead character - his silence is mistaken for profundity - and, in the end, nowhere to go. How the likes of Spike Lee must be delighted they now have the power to bully the Academy into going along with their politics.
Dir: Barry Jenkins
Stars: Trevante Rhodes, Ashton Sanders, Alex Hibbert, Mahershala Ali, Naomie Harris
THE MOONRAKER
1958
*
A man helps royalists escape Oliver Cromwell.
Fairly enjoyable swashbuckler, competently made.
Dir: David MacDonald
Stars: George Baker, Sylvia Sims, John Le Mesurier, Patrick Troughton
MOONRAKER
1979
*
James Bond investigates the theft of a space shuttle in mid air.
As frequently mentioned, this is one of the very silliest and corniest Bond films, but that's not just because of the space fiction plot, but because many of its other elements are wilfully exaggerated and veer straight into broad comedy, or just don't make sense. The opening stunt - the jump from the plane - is impressive but after that a feeling of deja vu abounds, with the director intent on throwing 007 into as many hazardous situations as possible - luckily Moore carries most of them off well, having grown into the role in his fourth Bond film.
Dir: Lewis Gilbert
Stars: Roger Moore, Lois Chiles, Michael Lonsdale, Richard Kiel, Corinne Clery, Bernard Lee, Geoffrey Keen, Desmond Llewelyn, Lois Maxwell
MOONRISE KINGDOM
2012
*
In 1965 New England, a young boy and girl abscond from the authorities.
As ever, Wes Anderson splits opinion, and there's much to feed both sides of the argument: the detractors can point out that his affectations are all present and correct, from performers who look doped up, to a slow, detached story and a good deal of irritating archness. But acolytes can point to the sagacious camerawork, the beautiful cinematography, the clever quirks and the gentle charm. It's certainly agreeably original and, for some, perhaps quite moving, but the detractors' points are intact.
Dir: Wes Anderson
Stars: Edward Norton, Bruce Willis, Bill Murray, Kara Hayward, Frances McDormand, Tilda Swinton, Jared Gilman
MOONSTRUCK
1987
*
Various Italian-Americans in New York have romantic complications.
Pleasant, not particularly weighty comic drama which draws some agreeable performances from its cast.
Dir: Norman Jewison
Stars: Cher, Nicolas Cage, Olympia Dukakis, Vincent Gardenia
MOONTRAP
1989
0
Astronauts inadvertently bring an alien war robot back to Earth.
Slow moving sci-fi little different from many others except that it's set in 1969.
Dir: Robert Dyke
Stars: Walter Koenig, Bruce Campbell, Leigh Lombardi
MOONWALKER
1988
0
Michael Jackson's life story, a few pop videos and some curious fantasy adventures.
One giant ego trip that's very much for acolytes only, although there is the odd fun moment among the filler material.
Dir: Jerry Kramer
Stars: Michael Jackson, Joe Pesci, Sean Lennon, Mick Jagger
MORBIUS
2022
0
A biochemist tries to cure himself of a blood disease but accidentally turns himself into a vampire.
Many fans were scathing about this comic book adaptation - that lot do tend to go OTT quite regularly - and it's true that it's lesser material, worse than the Venom films for instance. The lead character makes a shallow impression, the plot's not up to much, it's very serious, and there might be too much CGI for some - but Matt Smith is a plus and there are a few knowing Marvel nods and surprises, including during the end credits.
Dir: Daniel Espinosa
Stars: Jared Leto, Matt Smith, Adria Arjona, Jared Harris
THE MORE THE MERRIER
1943
*
In wartime Washington, a woman ends up sharing her flat with two troublesome men.
Rather tiresome and long comedy with dated themes and irritating characters who behave in curious ways.
Dir: George Stevens
Stars: Jean Arthur, Joel McCrea, Charles Coburn, Richard Gaines
THE MORE YOU IGNORE ME
2018
0
A teenage girl with a mentally ill mother finds some solace in the music of The Smiths.
An uncomfortable watch, a less than successful marriage of human tragedy and awkward comedy - that the swearing sticks out is in part proof its failure. But it's more the fact that not a single element of it is convincing, from the Seventies/Eighties setting to the behaviour of most of its characters to the girl and her mother's 'obsession' with The Smiths - it really doesn't help that they only got the rights to just two of their songs (This Charming Man and What Difference Does It Make?).
Dir: Keith English
Stars: Ella Hunt, Sheridan Smith, Mark Addy, Sally Phillips, Jo Brand
MORGAN - A SUITABLE CASE FOR TREATMENT
1966
**
A man is obsessed by Karl Marx, gorillas and his ex-wife.
Tiresome weirdness extensively utilising slow motion, fast motion and freeze frame, none of which can do much to help the script - the problem is that it isn't funny and was a product of a very narrow period of time, a time that was unlike any other before or since. It's a Sixties capsule in that respect and certainly different, and refreshingly oxygenated, but modern viewers will have various difficulties with it, including the lead character's obnoxious and stalker-ish behaviour.
Dir: Karel Reisz
Stars: David Warner, Vanessa Redgrave, Robert Stephens, Irene Handl, Bernard Bresslaw, Arthur Mullard
MORONS FROM OUTER SPACE
1985
*
A team of particularly stupid aliens land on Earth.
Smith and Jones were two of the best British comedians of the 1980s (Not The Nine O'clock News, Alas Smith And Jones), but this first film outing for them doesn't really work: while it's not a painful watch there's little in it that is genuinely funny, despite ripe opportunities for absurd gags and a seemingly willing cast.
Dir: Mike Hodges
Stars: Mel Smith, Griff Rhys Jones, Jimmy Nail, Dinsdale Landen
MORRISSEY 25: LIVE
2013
*
Morrissey's concert at Hollywood High School, Los Angeles, on 2 March 2013.
Not really a film as such, this is a fairly straightforward concert presentation that was given a limited cinema release. It's not the star captured at his peak but he gives a strong, typically idiosyncratic performance whose highlights include new songs People Are The Same Everywhere and Action Is My Middle Name, plus Speedway and You Have Killed Me, and Smiths favourites Still Ill and The Boy With A Thorn In His Side. There are nice moments along the way, including handing the microphone to the crowd and Mozza carrying a young fan around the stage. It's unlikely to win over those who dislike him but for fans it's a decent watch, and the DVD includes extra studio performances, of tracks unreleased at the time of the DVD's release.
Dir: James Russell
THE MORTAL STORM
1940
**
A Jewish family's life in the Alps is disrupted when the Nazis come to power.
It may be about the terrible rise of Nazism, but when watched in the third decade of the 21st century this film makes you realise what that ideology and the 'woke' ideology have in common, what with the crushing of free speech, scientific fact and individual endeavour - all in the name of a 'better' world. So it remains powerful in that respect, and it's a decent drama too, if a little unevenly paced. And Jimmy Stewart as a German?!
Dir: Frank Borzage
Stars: James Stewart, Margaret Sullavan, Robert Young, Frank Morgan
MORTAL THOUGHTS
1991
*
A woman is suspected of murdering her husband and her friend's husband.
Disingenuous thriller which spices its thin plot with plenty of dramatic incidents.
Dir: Alan Rudolph
Stars: Demi Moore, Bruce Willis, Harvey Keitel, Glenne Headly
MORTUARY
1982
0
Teenagers investigate a local mortuary where strange things are going down.
Fairly wayward teen horror that starts as a mystery, then has a mid-section which is like is a slasher picture, then goes mad and twisted towards the end. They tried hard, it seems, but the talent wasn't quite there to make it a better remembered movie.
Dir: Howard Avedis
Stars: Mary Beth McDonough, David Wysocki, Bill Paxton, Lynda Day George
THE MOST DANGEROUS GAME
1932
**
A Count hunts a group of people who have landed on his island.
Much imitated thriller with an exciting, well shot hunt sequence which you wish lasted longer. Tight, terse and uncompromising, it must have had a heck of an impact on audiences of the day, and retains freshness despite having many descendants.
Dir: Irving Pichel, Ernest B Schoedsack
Stars: Joel McCrea, Fay Wray, Leslie Banks, Robert Armstrong
1961
0
After a freak accident, a man begins to turn into steel.
Fairly violent sci-fi thriller with extensive padding.
Dir: Allan Dwan
Stars: Ron Randell, Debra Paget, Elaine Stewart
MOTHER!
2017
*
Unexpected guests at their house disturb the life of a couple.
Turbulent drama, some sort of religious allegory, that is put over with no little force but never connects because its situation is not based in any kind of sympathetic reality. Pretentious, torpid and claustrophobic, it's likely to polarise audiences.
Dir: Darren Aronofsky
Stars: Jennifer Lawrence, Javier Bardem, Ed Harris, Michelle Pfeiffer
MOTHER AND SON
1997
*
A man tends to his dying mother.
There are few films out there in which so little happens as this one - two taciturn characters are shot doing not much against a background of nature and the elements, to further emphasise their mortality. For all its almost risible inertness, it has a certain filmic and poetic power.
Dir: Aleksandr Sokurov
Stars: Aleksei Ananishnov, Gudrun Geyer
MOTHER, JUGS & SPEED
1976
0
Private LA ambulance firms compete against each other.
Unattractive comedy in the MASH mould.
Dir: Peter Yates
Stars: Raquel Welch, Bill Cosby, Harvey Keitel, L Q Jones
MOTHER RILEY MEETS THE VAMPIRE
1952
0
A washerwoman catches a crook called The Vampire.
Inane farce, the last of the unfunny Mother Riley series.
Dir: John Gilling
Stars: Arthur Lucan, Bela Lugosi, Dora Bryan, Richard Wattis, Graham Moffat, Hattie Jacques, Dandy Nichols
MOULIN ROUGE
1952
*
Shrunken artist Toulouse-Lautrec visits the Moulin Rouge, a lively night club, to draw and drink.
Richly atmospheric, factually unreliable biopic, a little dry, in common with many of this director's other works.
Dir: John Huston
Stars: Jose Ferrer, Zsa Zsa Gabor, Suzanne Flon
MOULIN ROUGE
2001
*
In 1900 Paris, a penniless poet falls in love with a glamorous courtesan.
Extreme musical fantasia, an acquired taste, and probably more of a film for women, although gentlemen are taken care of by the breathtakingly beautiful Nicole Kidman.
Dir: Baz Luhrmann
Stars: Nicole Kidman, Ewan McGregor, Jim Broadbent, John Leguizamo
MOUNTAIN
2017
*
Documentary about man's fascination with mountains.
Spectacular photography is the main asset of this shortish film, although Dafoe's narration is intelligent and the orchestral backing luscious. It almost feels vulgar to say that the most enjoyable bits are the brief sequences of derring-do, such as madmen bicycling down steep inclines.
Dir: Jennifer Peedom
Narrator: Willem Dafoe
THE MOUNTAIN OF THE CANNIBAL GOD
1978
0
A woman and her entourage journey into cannibal land to look for her missing husband.
As this sleazy adventure is largely devoid of suspense, tension or excitement it has to resort to gruesomeness, and that comes late in the day and looks very fake.
Dir: Sergio Martino
Stars: Ursula Andress, Stacy Keach, Claudio Cassinelli
MOUNTAINS OF THE MOON
1990
*
In Victorian times, explorers seek the source of the Nile river.
Lavish adventure which plays like a more serious King Solomon's Mines, it always looks good but might have benefited from spending less time in England and more in Africa.
Dir: Bob Rafelson
Stars: Patrick Bergin, Iain Glen, Richard E Grant, Fiona Shaw
THE MOUSE ON THE MOON
1963
0
A tiny country persuades the super powers that they are starting a space program.
Bland sequel to The Mouse That Roared lacking that film's satiric bite.
Dir: Richard Lester
Stars: Margaret Rutherford, Ron Moody, Bernard Cribbins, Terry-Thomas, John Le Mesurier
THE MOUSE THAT ROARED
1959
*
A tiny European nation declares war on the USA in the hope of losing and reaping reparations.
Moderately funny comedy that scores most with its satirical barbs, even if the passage of time has gently worn them down. For the first time Sellers plays multiple roles (three), and demonstrates his consummate skill.
Dir: Jack Arnold
Stars: Peter Sellers, Jean Seberg, William Hartnell, David Kossoff, Leo McKern
MOVIE CRAZY
1932
***
An accident-prone young man hopes to become a Hollywood star.
Marvellous star comedy, his last unqualified success, done in a charming, slow, almost suspenseful manner.
Dir: Clyde Bruckman
Stars: Harold Lloyd, Constance Cummings, Kenneth Thomson
MOVING McALLISTER
2007
0
A would-be lawyer is charged with bringing the boss’s niece safely home across half of America.
Ineffectual and unamusing comedy with a listless lead and weak support; we feel nothing for the characters and the quirky bits don’t come off.
Dir: Andrew Black
Stars: Ben Gourley, Mila Kunis, Jon Heder, Rutger Hauer
MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING
1993
**
Lovers soon to wed try to get their two single friends hitched too.
Amiable adaptation of one of Shakespeare's jolliest plays in which the big name actors appear to be enjoying themselves; if there's a fault it's that the photography can be a little dark.
Dir: Kenneth Branagh
Stars: Kenneth Branagh, Emma Thompson, Richard Briers, Keanu Reeves, Kate Beckinsale, Denzel Washington, Michael Keaton, Imelda Staunton, Brian Blessed
MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING
2012
*
Avengers director Whedon shot this adaptation in twelve days, in black and white, in and around his house while he was still working on that superhero blockbuster; it could not be more different. The only trouble with this is that while it's well acted and shot, the approach isn't the most conducive to getting the best out of Shakespeare's light, colourful comedy. But the lilting dialogue shines through, especially in the Benedick and Beatrice scenes.
Dir: Joss Whedon
Stars: Amy Acker, Alexis Denisof, Emma Bates, Spencer Treat Clark, Reed Diamond
MUCH TOO SHY
1942
0
A milkman aspires to being an artist.
Surprisingly saucy star comedy bogged down by too much talk.
Dir: Marcel Varnel
Stars: George Formby, Kathleen Harrison, Jimmy Clitheroe
MULHOLLAND DRIVE
2001
**
A budding actress has a glamorous woman with no memory turn up in her shower.
A puzzle which isn’t a puzzle; a movie which is mostly a dream – Lynch’s strange opus is worth seeing, especially for fans, and, in the age of internet message boards, particularly suitable for lively discussion. While not totally satisfactory - it often feels like a lot of random scenes stuck together willy-nilly - it does at least show an intelligent filmmaker keen on enriching his art form.
Dir: David Lynch
Stars: Naomi Watts, Laura Elena Harring, Justin Theroux, Ann Miller
MULTIPLICITY
1996
*
A man with a very busy life clones himself to cope.
While not another Groundhog Day, this is an entertaining comedy with a superlative performance from Keaton, who manages to differentiate the four different sides of one person. It arguably could have been either more philosophical and thoughtful, or farcical and freewheeling (a whole, very long-running TV series could be made) but it provides passable entertainment, and was somewhat undervauled by many critics.
Dir: Harold Ramis
Stars: Michael Keaton, Andie MacDowell, Zack Duhame
MUM & DAD
2008
*
A Polish immigrant cleaner working at Heathrow is abducted by a family of freaks.
Another very nasty modern British horror film and one that actually received Lottery funding; loosely based on the Fred and Rose West case, it’s too disgusting to be funny (which it sort of tries to be) but keeps you watching and, on its own level, is very well made and could even be mined for deeper meanings.
Dir: Steven Sheil
Stars: Perry Benson, Dido Miles, Olga Fedori, Ainsley Howard
THE MUMMY
1932
**
A mummy who has been brought back to life seeks the reincarnation of his long-lost love.
Moody, influential horror with a splendidly ghoulish star performance, let down by some stiff acting elsewhere and starchy dialogue.
Dir: Karl Freund
Stars: Boris Karloff, Zita Johann, David Manners, Arthur Byron
THE MUMMY
1959
**
A curse falls upon men who disturb an ancient tomb.
Enjoyable, brightly coloured semi-remake in what was quickly becoming typical Hammer style. The story may do little that seems radical to us, but it's elevated by Lee's strong performance in the title role and a rich atmosphere created by a combination of good cinematography, nice period sets and actors of different races.
Dir: Terence Fisher
Stars: Peter Cushing, Christopher Lee, Yvonne Furneaux, Eddie Byrne
THE MUMMY’S CURSE
1945
0
An irrigation project unearths a mummy.
Feeble final entry into the series proper (Abbott and Costello came along soon).
Dir: Leslie Goodwins
Stars: Lon Chaney Jr, Peter Coe, Virginia Christine
THE MUMMY’S GHOST
1944
0
An Egyptian high priest seeks the body a high princess.
Poor number four of Universal's Mummy movies, serving up the same old stuff.
Dir: Reginald Le Borg
Stars: Lon Chaney Jr, John Carradine, George Zucco
THE MUMMY’S HAND
1940
*
Archaeologists are terrorised by a sinister priest and a mummy on the rampage.
Initially jokey, ultimately scary semi-sequel to Karloff's 1932 original.
Dir: Christy Cabanne
Stars: Tom Tyler, Dick Foran, Peggy Moran, George Zucco
THE MUMMY’S SHROUD
1966
0
Archaeologists who break into an ancient Egyptian tomb are slaughtered by a mummy.
Bog-standard Mummy movie, not original in any way, with predictable plot development. Most of the killings are done with visual panache, though - the rich colours glow - which, considering the budget was so moderate, is some sort of achievement. The last film Hammer shot at Bray Studios.
Dir: John Gilling
Stars: Andre Morell, John Phillips, David Buck, Elizabeth Sellars, Michael Ripper
THE MUMMY’S TOMB
1942
*
A mummy slaughters those who have desecrated a tomb.
Watchable sequel to The Mummy's Hand which reaches an exciting climax.
Dir: Harold Young
Stars: Lon Chaney Jr, Dick Foran, George Zucco
MUNICH
2005
**
A team of Mossad agents is assembled to take revenge for the massacre of Israeli athletes at the 1972 Olympics.
A solid thriller presumably about the tragedy of perpetual revenge, convincingly acted and technically excellent.
Dir: Steven Spielberg
Stars: Eric Bana, Daniel Craig, Ciaran Hinds, Mathieu Kassovitz, Geoffrey Rush
MUNSTER, GO HOME
1966
0
Herman discovers he is the lord of an English manor.
The movie version of the popular show loses the awful laugh-track and gains colour but has little else of interest going for it.
Dir: Earl Bellamy
Stars: Fred Gwynne, Yvonne De Carlo, Al Lewis, Butch Patrick, Terry-Thomas, Hermione Gingold, John Carradine
THE MUNSTERS’ REVENGE
1981 (TV)
0
Herman and Grandpa are accused of a jewellery heist.
Pretty unbearable reunion of the monster family complete with canned laughter; light should not have been shed on it.
Dir: Don Weis
Stars: Fred Gwynne, Yvonne De Carlo, Al Lewis, K C Martel
THE MUPPET CHRISTMAS CAROL
1992
*
A mean miser has a life-changing Christmas Eve.
The Muppets doing Charles Dickens works pretty well, in part thanks to Caine, in part thanks to the eternal quality of the original story. A nice Christmas film for young and old alike.
Dir: Brian Henson
Stars: Michael Caine, Dave Goelz, Steve Whitmire, Frank Oz
THE MUPPET MOVIE
1979
**
Kermit and friends try to find success in Hollywood.
Overlong but enjoyable movie version of the TV show benefiting from a gang of esteemed guest stars, a decent script and puppetry superior to the programme.
Dir: James Frawley
Stars: Jim Henson, Frank Oz, Mel Brooks, Milton Berle, James Coburn, Dom DeLuise, Elliott Gould, Bob Hope, Madeline Kahn, Orson Welles, Richard Pryor, Steve Martin
THE MUPPETS TAKE MANHATTAN
1984
0
The Muppets attempt to stage a musical on Broadway.
Faltering caper with a lack of memorable tunes and a more conventional attitude than its two predecessors.
Dir: Frank Oz
Stars: Jim Henson, Frank Oz, Joan Rivers, Elliott Gould, Liza Minnelli, Brooke Shields
MURDER!
1930
*
A juror in a murder trial has second thoughts about his verdict and decides to investigate.
Early Hitchcock with ahead-of-their-time ideas (including long takes, the character’s inner monologue in the bathroom and the climactic scenes in the circus where the trapeze artist sees people flash before his eyes) but an air of creakiness and quaintness. The plot is largely elongated stodge, and the actors just out of the silent era, but Hitch’s underlying themes of art contrasted with real life, sexual ambivalence and the plucky loner add a touch of class to proceedings, and he would return to them many times. Mary (qv) was a German language version.
Dir: Alfred Hitchcock
Stars: Herbert Marshall, Norah Baring, Phyllis Konstam
MURDER AT THE GALLOP
1963
0
Elderly sleuth Miss Marple stumbles on what appears to be a murder for money.
Unobjectionable, slightly silly mystery in which the killer is easily guessed. The name of Agatha Christie is actually mentioned in the course of the story.
Dir: George Pollock
Stars: Margaret Rutherford, Flora Robson, Robert Morley, Stringer Davis, Duncan Lamont, James Villiers
MURDER AT THE WINDMILL
1949
0
A man watching a show at the Windmill Theatre is apparently shot from the stage.
Hilariously prolonged and archaic mystery of historical interest only.
Dir: Val Guest
Stars: Garry Marsh, Jon Pertwee, Jimmy Edwards
MURDER AT 3AM
1953
*
Police investigate a series of killings that may be linked to the names of theatres from which the victims emerge at 3am.
Functional murder mystery; its absurdities slip by fairly painlessly.
Dir: Francis Searle
Stars: Dennis Price, Peggy Evans, Philip Saville
MURDER BY DEATH
1976
*
Five famous literary detectives are invited to a mansion to solve a murder.
You have to be in the right mood for a Neil Simon production, otherwise it can grate, as it does here, with much sheer stupidity, including the blind butler and deaf maid's antics, along with Falk's annoying drawl. Perhaps best suited for an older audience, it features a cast rich in talent doing their best with the material, and you do want to stay to the end to see how it pans out.
Dir: Robert Moore
Stars: Alec Guinness, Peter Sellers, David Niven, Truman Capote, Peter Falk, Maggie Smith, James Coco, Elsa Lanchester
MURDER BY DECREE
1978
*
Sherlock Holmes investigates Jack the Ripper and uncovers a political conspiracy.
Like a less sensationalist version of A Study In Terror (qv), this takes the interesting concept one step further but is often on the verge of becoming muddled; a strong sense of time and place and a cast of distinguished actors see it through.
Dir: Bob Clark
Stars: Christopher Plummer, James Mason, David Hemmings, Anthony Quayle, John Gielgud, Frank Finlay, Donald Sutherland, Genevieve Bujold
MURDER BY TELEVISION
1935
0
A scientist is killed during the first ever television transmission.
Cheap and confusing clunker which may have been made in a single afternoon.
Dir: Clifford Sanforth
Stars: Bela Lugosi, June Collyer, George Meeker
MURDER IN THE FIRST
1995
**
A petty criminal winds up in Alcatraz.
Convincing filming of a true story, an accomplished blend of pathos, brutality and humour.
Dir: Marc Rocco
Stars: Christian Slater, Kevin Bacon, Gary Oldman, William H Macy, Brad Dourif, R Lee Ermey
MURDER, MY SWEET
1944
*
Private detective Philip Marlowe investigates a missing woman and stolen jewels.
Like the vast majority of Raymond Chandler Marlowe films, this offers up a totally unfathomable plot consisting of guys and dames being anxious motormouths in a way that would soon be parodied in the decades to come. With its shadowy photography, eccentric characters and a permanent fog of night it's one for the noir crowd, whoever they might be.
Dir: Edward Dmytryk
Stars: Dick Powell, Claire Trevor, Anne Shirley, Otto Kruger
MURDER ON THE ORIENT EXPRESS
1974
**
Hercule Poirot solves a murder mystery on a train.
One of the best Agatha Christie adaptations; an all-star cast (usually a good thing) generate a fair amount of intrigue as the dependable plot unfolds.
Dir: Sidney Lumet
Stars: Albert Finney, Lauren Bacall, Martin Balsam, Ingrid Bergman, Jacqueline Bisset, Sean Connery, John Gielgud, Anthony Perkins, Vanessa Redgrave
MURDER ON THE ORIENT EXPRESS
2017
*
Branagh's version of the tale is an opulent production, full of bracing vistas and imaginative camerawork, but is inferior to the 1974 film. Why? Perhaps because the all-star cast get little chance to shine, perhaps because the script doesn't generate much tension, perhaps because if you know the resolution already it feels a little stale and unenterprising. A prestige pic that should have had a lot more fun with its story.
Dir: Kenneth Branagh
Stars: Kenneth Branagh, Johnny Depp, Michelle Pfeiffer, Daisy Ridley, Penelope Cruz, Judi Dench, Olivia Colman, Willem Dafoe, Lucy Boynton, Josh Gad, Derek Jacobi, Tom Bateman
MURDERBALL
2005
**
Documentary about quadriplegics who play an aggressive form of wheelchair rugby.
These players barely even seem to care about their disability - although obviously they do - and throw themselves 100% into this most physical of sports: perhaps it says a lot about human nature, and perhaps the subject matter overwhelms the makers - the problem is one of focus (you feel there should actually be more sport), although there are many rich scenes that validate the camera's roving eye. One almost feels uncomfortable saying that many of these people are not the most likeable of characters.
Dir: Henry Alex Rubin, Dana Adam Shapiro
MURDERDROME
2013
0
Female roller derby players come up against a supernatural force.
From its stupidly long title sequence onwards, this is thoroughly unsatisfying rubbish made by Tarantino wannabes without the talent or wonga; an aimless and unfunny comic horror with an inconsistent tone.
Dir: Daniel Armstrong
Stars: Kat Anderson, Rachael Blackwood, Jake Brown
MURDERS IN THE RUE MORGUE
1932
*
In 19th century Paris, a mad doctor kidnaps girls to inject them with an ape blood serum.
It never was a particularly good story but this dated chiller still throws up some weird, fog-shrouded pleasures.
Dir: Robert Florey
Stars: Bela Lugosi, Sidney Fox, Leon Ames
MURDERS IN THE RUE MORGUE
1971
*
Poe's story is being presented at a theatre, but real murders begin.
An odd version with more in common with Phantom Of The Opera, cheaply and eccentrically made, with lots of flashbacks and dream sequences.
Dir: Gordon Hessler
Stars: Jason Robards, Herbert Lom, Christine Kaufmann
THE MURDERS IN THE RUE MORGUE
1986 (TV)
0
A detective comes out of retirement to help prove a man's innocence.
Plodding retread of Poe's tale with a limp climax but interesting credits.
Dir: Jeannot Szwarc
Stars: George C Scott, Rebecca De Mornay, Ian McShane, Neil Dickson, Val Kilmer
MURDERS IN THE ZOO
1933
0
A man uses animals to commit murders for him.
Mainly starchy horror which successfully utilises the scare factor of the animals in a few sequences.
Dir: A Edward Sutherland
Stars: Charles Ruggles, Lionel Atwill, Randolph Scott
MURDERERS’ ROW
1966
0
Agent Matt Helm goes after a doctor who has a laser beam that could destroy the world.
Sloppy spy spoof that hasn't lasted well.
Dir: Henry Levin
Stars: Dean Martin, Ann-Margret, Karl Malden
MURIEL'S WEDDING
1994
*
An overweight Australian girl has her sights set on getting married.
Internationally successful comedy, a pretty good night out for the girls, given added appeal by the Abba songs, though the serious turns the story takes make it not as frothy as might have been supposed. The characters and situations are not what you're expecting, which could be counted as a positive? It wins through because of its conviction and the drive of the leading cast members, telling a tale of life travails and personal development that will be empathised with.
Dir: PJ Hogan
Stars: Toni Collette, Rachel Griffiths, Bill Hunter
THE MUSIC BOX
1932
****
Stan and Ollie attempt to deliver a piano to a house on top of a very large hill.
Laurel and Hardy’s most brilliantly sustained short includes every element that made their work immortal. The timing is impeccable, not a moment is wasted, the pacing is perfect and the whole experience an enduring delight.
Dir: James Parrott
Stars: Stan Laurel, Oliver Hardy, Billy Gilbert, Charlie Hall
MUSIC BOX
1990
**
A lawyer defends her father who is accused of war crimes.
Topical, truthfully acted melodrama with absorbing courtroom sequences.
Dir: Costa-Gavras
Stars: Jessica Lange, Frederic Forrest, Armin Mueller-Stahl
THE MUSIC LOVERS
1970
*
The life and loves of Tchaikovsky.
Wild musical fantasia with great moments amid some tedium.
Dir: Ken Russell
Stars: Richard Chamberlain, Glenda Jackson, Max Adrian
THE MUSIC MAN
1962
**
A con man comes to a small Midwestern town but learns humility.
Energetic and colourful but hellishly overlong musical.
Dir: Morton DaCosta
Stars: Robert Preston, Shirley Jones, Buddy Hackett, Hermione Gingold
THE MUTATIONS
1974
*
A scientist experiments with crossing plants and humans.
Loony, colourful horror that's difficult to dislike: it's a bit like Seventies Doctor Who for adults - what with its occasional gruesomeness and nudity - complemented by Jonny Greenwood type aural noodlings and time-lapse photography of growing organisms; it's a heady mix of exploitation, genuine 'freaks' and mad scientist stuff. Pleasence underplays, Baker wears a similar costume to that of his Doctor's, Ege looks lovely. Not exactly a good movie, but irresistible because of its eccentricities.
Dir: Jack Cardiff
Stars: Donald Pleasence, Tom Baker, Brad Harris, Julie Ege
MUTINY ON THE BOUNTY
1935
***
An 18th century British ship sailing to the South Seas is the subject of a mutiny thanks to its cruel captain.
Splendid historical drama which looks about as fresh today as it did then - dialogue is slick, the spectacle is exciting and Laughton's performance is deliciously unpleasant; 1930s Hollywood at its very best.
Dir: Frank Lloyd
Stars: Charles Laughton, Clark Gable, Franchot Tone, Donald Crisp
MUTINY ON THE BOUNTY
1962
***
The 1935 version is still the better film, but this is a very satisfying picture whose lengthy running time shouldn't put viewers off. Yes, Brando's accent is overly plummy - and he apparently caused terrible problems on set - but the dramatics remain as engaging as ever, glorious Tahitian scenery is exploited to the full (the scenes there are essentially the ultimate western male's fantasy) and Howard is great as Bligh. The historical inaccuracies don't matter a jot.
Dir: Lewis Milestone
Stars: Marlon Brando, Trevor Howard, Richard Harris, Hugh Griffith, Richard Haydn
MUTINY ON THE BUSES
1972
0
A bus crew journeys to Windsor Safari Park.
Unbelievably egregious sitcom spin-off in which desperately weak jokes ebb out of uninteresting, stupid situations.
Dir: Harry Booth
Stars: Reg Varney, Bob Grant, Stephen Lewis, Doris Hare, Michael Robbins, Bob Todd, David Lodge
MY BARE LADY
1962
0
After an American tourist falls in a river she finds herself in a nudist camp.
Standard nudie film for the time, now impossibly dated of course, an unsubtle advert for the clothes-free lifestyle - but definitely not one that includes pubic hair. It's made up of nudist camp stock footage, a couple of lengthy flashbacks and much that's fairly hilarious; there are more painful experiences (several Ridley Scott movies, for instance). Look out for the milkman's bottom.
Dir: Arthur Knight
Stars: Carl Conway, Julie Martin, Nina Huntredos
MY BEAUTIFUL LAUNDRETTE
1985
*
A gay Asian struggles to improve his surroundings.
Unlikeable wallow in the unpleasant realities of life that gained some fashionable acclaim upon release; well made but not much fun.
Dir: Stephen Frears
Stars: Daniel Day-Lewis, Saeed Jaffrey, Roshan Seth
MY BEST FIEND
1999
**
Documentary about the tempestuous working relationship between director Herzog and actor Kinski, who made five films together.
Many of the anecdotes here are extraordinary (at one time Herzog thought about fire-bombing Kinski's house) but one regrets there's not more actual footage of spats rather than just Herzog relating them, in what is essentially an advert for his work.
Dir: Werner Herzog
Stars: Klaus Kinski
MY BLOODY VALENTINE
2009
0
A killer dressed as a miner threatens a local community.
Remake of the 1981 slasher film which exposes the original as not having a particularly good or solid story. A lot of effort's gone into the 3D, though.
Dir: Patrick Lussier
Stars: Jensen Ackles, Jaime King, Kerr Smith
MY BOYFRIEND'S BACK
1993
0
Death doesn't stop a high school student from trying to win the heart of the girl he loves.
If you don't take to the concept of this goofy horror comedy, you probably won't enjoy any of it. The enthusiasm of the cast can't salvage it.
Dir: Bob Balaban
Stars: Andrew Lowery, Traci Lind, Danny Zorn
MY BRILLIANT CAREER
1979
*
In Australia in the early 20th century, a young woman determines to do her own thing and have a career.
Well made, not too hard to watch drama which doesn't especially excite but has some significance because of the amount of women who worked on it, the country it came out of and its feminist theme; while it's laudable that this person showed some independent spirit and wanted to fulfill her dreams (whatever they were), some of her decisions, particularly the one she makes at the end, are strange and surely wrong. Nice cinematography captures the locations and time period well.
Dir: Gillian Armstrong
Stars: Judy Davis, Sam Neill, Wendy Hughes, Robert Grubb
MY DARLING CLEMENTINE
1946
**
Wyatt Earp comes to Tombstone, where he encounters Doc Holliday and the Clantons.
Subtle, sometimes lyrical Western which might mean most to Americans and/or fans of the genre. It's very well made, with great cinematography, but never quite explodes.
Dir: John Ford
Stars: Henry Fonda, Victor Mature, Linda Darnell, Cathy Downs
MY DEAR KILLER
1972
0
A detective investigates when a man is found decapitated by a lake.
Tortuous giallo which mostly tells its story with dialogue rather than imagery. Half way through you're really not sure who's done what to whom, how or where or why; there are a couple of inventive kills but mostly it's just laborious police work climaxing with a silly Agatha Christie-style denouement.
Dir: Tonino Valerii
Stars: George Hilton, Salvo Randone, William Berger
MY DINNER WITH ANDRE
1981
0
Two men go to a restaurant and talk to each other.
An unbelievably boring and irritating experience that’s nothing to do with cinema and everything to do with pretentious people spewing cod philosophy for the benefit of obnoxious critics. Cheque please!
Dir: Louis Malle
Stars: Wallace Shawn, Andre Gregory
MY FAIR LADY
1964
***
A linguistics professor takes on the challenge of converting a cockney flower girl into a lady of high society.
It drags a little towards the end, but this famous musical is largely a delight thanks to its pitch-perfect performances and splendid, witty songs.
Dir: George Cukor
Stars: Audrey Hepburn, Rex Harrison, Stanley Holloway, Wilfrid Hyde-White, Gladys Cooper, Jeremy Brett
MY FAMILY
1995
*
The trails of three generations of an immigrant family.
Long, sentimental, sometimes stilted drama redeemed by the loving care endowed upon it by the makers.
Dir: Gregory Nava
Stars: Jimmy Smits, Edward James Olmos, Esai Morales
MY FAVOURITE YEAR
1982
*
An aging film star keen on the sauce is due to appear on a live TV show.
Well made comedy that offers keen observations of early live TV production and gives the star his chance to act exactly like Errol Flynn.
Dir: Richard Benjamin
Stars: Peter O'Toole, Jessica Harper, Joseph Bologna
MY FRIEND DAHMER
2017
**
Future cannibalistic killer Jeffrey Dahmer has a tough high school life.
Well made biographical drama that captures high school life pretty well, with a certain pupil being someone who became one of America's most evil serial killers (in a stiff field). It doesn't fully explain how this strange boy ever came to be quite so horrific, but then it probably never could.
Dir: Marc Meyers
Stars: Ross Lynch, Alex Wolff, Anne Heche
MY GENERATION
2017
*
Documentary about the 'Swinging Sixties', seen through the eyes of Michael Caine and other stars.
What's on the surface here is more impressive than what's below it: the imagery, of varying rareness, is super, the tunes smashing (and very familiar), the anecdotes from Caine and the others sometimes great, but there's virtually no sociopolitical grounding, and it all too readily buys into the discredited narrative that the Swinging Sixties were shared by all (read Dominic Sandbrook), that it was all sweetness and light - in reality taxes were sky-high, unions were rampant, snobbery was rife, religion still had considerable force, the food was rubbish and the pubs hardly open - and that it changed everything for the better: most of the soon-to-be-destructive post-modernist thinking started here. The airy-fairy sentiments aired are by people who should know better... but it's still a reasonable watch for popular culture fans. Debut cinema screenings were followed by a live Q&A with the still charming Caine.
Dir: David Batty
Narrator: Michael Caine
MY KID COULD PAINT THAT
2007
**
Documentary about a four-year-old girl whose paintings sell for huge sums of money.
The director claims he set out with the intention of making a film about the vagaries of the world of modern art but saw his project turn into something more when a TV show accused the Olmsteads of not being entirely honest about their daughter’s talents. It certainly makes for thought-provoking entertainment and compels the viewer to seek out further information on this very cute child ‘prodigy’.
Dir: Amir Bar-Lev
Stars: Marla Olmstead, Mark Olmstead, Laura Olmstead
MY LEARNED FRIEND
1943
**
An escaped murderer goes after those who put him away.
The climax on the face of Big Ben caps a chipper star vehicle, his final one.
Dir: Basil Dearden, Will Hay
Stars: Will Hay, Claude Hulbert, Mervyn Johns, Ernest Thesiger
MY LEFT FOOT
1989
*
The story of Christy Brown, the Irish artist and writer who was born with cerebral palsy.
This biopic doesn't do much that's hugely surprising and affection for it may be based on how the viewer rates Day-Lewis's performance, which is nothing if not committed and was, naturally, right up the Academy's street (the young actor playing Brown as a child comes off less well). Not always an easy watch, it has a relatively happy ending which may be a little way from the truth, if certain accounts are to be believed.
Dir: Jim Sheridan
Stars: Daniel Day-Lewis, Brenda Fricker, Alison Whelan, Ray McAnally
MY LITTLE EYE
2002
0
Five young people live together in an isolated house while being constantly watched by cameras.
Promising but desperately disappointing thriller; staid, clichéd plot development drowns in a sea of profanity.
Dir: Marc Evans
Stars: Sean CW Johnson, Kris Lemche, Stephen O'Reilly
MY LOVER, MY SON
1970
0
A rich woman has an unusual attachment to her son.
The frustration! This could have been good if a) it'd been much more daring and explicit, b) it'd been thoughtfully and skilfully made or c) a combination of both things. As it is, Waterman is dreadfully miscast, especially for us Brit viewers - a bland, pretty Euro boy would have been so much more appropriate.
Dir: John Newland
Stars: Romy Schneider, Dennis Waterman, Donald Houston, Patricia Brake
MY MAN GODFREY
1936
*
A rich socialite takes a derelict for a butler and falls in love with him.
Depression-era comedy that appears to be held in most affection in the US; it’s skilfully performed and a bit kooky but there’s nothing laugh-out-loud about it.
Dir: Gregory La Cava
Stars: William Powell, Carole Lombard, Alice Brady, Gail Patrick
MY NEIGHBOUR TOTORO
1988
0
Two little girls make a friend in a giant furry creature.
Placid cartoon that verges on the anodyne but is nicely animated, the backgrounds especially.
Dir: Hayao Miyazaki
Voices (English version): Dakota Fanning, Elle Fanning, Tim Daly
MY OLD LADY
2014
0
An American inherits a large property in Paris, but an elderly lady comes with it.
What was sold as a comedy is in fact a criminally dull drama that barely tries to escape its stage origins; it actually starts with some promise but descends into fiftysomethings bemoaning, at length, events that took place many years before.
Dir: Israel Horovitz
Stars: Kevin Kline, Kristin Scott Thomas, Maggie Smith
MY OWN PRIVATE IDAHO
1991
*
Two hustlers living on the streets of Portland have various adventures.
Not very likeable but well made drama with several quirks, including magazine covers coming to life, characters quoting from Henry IV and a protagonist who suffers from narcolepsy, causing him to intermittently collapse. While the viewer might not similarly flake out, it's hard to stay connected with - maybe it helps if you're a hustler? (Though that wasn't necessary on Midnight Cowboy.)
Dir: Gus Van Sant
Stars: River Phoenix, Keanu Reeves, James Russo
MY SCIENCE PROJECT
1985
0
Science subjects mistakenly make a dinosaur appear at their school.
Dismal comic fantasy that doesn't know where it's going.
Dir: Jonathan R Betuel
Stars: John Stockwell, Danielle von Zerneck, Fisher Stevens
MY SCIENTOLOGY MOVIE
2016
*
Documentary in which Louis Theroux heads to LA to examine the Scientology organisation.
Theroux has made some splendid documentaries over the years but this is one of his lesser ones. The problem is that he fails to drill into, in any meaningful way, this horrible and insidious cult, in part because he knew he wouldn't get interviews, and also that it had been done before (Going Clear (qv) is a better watch, as are the BBC's Panorama investigations). The result is a strange film that's never less than watchable, composed of (too many) actor reconstructions, wandering around bothering and being bothered by Scientology footsoldiers, and the presence of whistleblower Marty Rathbun, a curious, conflicted man. There's good stuff but it has to be termed a disappointment when you consider what Theroux might have done with the opportunity. Cinema screenings were followed by a live Q&A with the director and star.
Dir: John Dower
MY STEPMOTHER IS AN ALIEN
1988
0
A beautiful woman is really an alien on a mission.
Light, unpretentious comedy with nothing very surprising going on.
Dir: Richard Benjamin
Stars: Dan Aykroyd, Kim Basinger, Jon Lovitz, Alyson Hannigan
MY TUTOR
1983
*
A father keen for his son to pass his French exam hires a personal tutor, who happens to be an extremely attractive blonde.
There is of course all sorts of sexy promise in this storyline, and there are some nice scenes, but in the last half hour it loses impetus and settles for sentimentality. But the vibe of the times, that benign combination of freedom and innocence, as well as some lively action featuring heading-for-better-things Glover, means it remains fairly see-able.
Dir: George Bowers
Stars: Caren Kaye, Matt Lattanzi, Kevin McCarthy, Crispin Glover
MYRA BRECKINRIDGE
1970
0
A man has a sex change and comes back as a beautiful, man-hating woman.
Instantly hateable comedy, an unpleasant shambles, it resembles a really bad Russ Meyer film. Choose who's most ghastly: the ancient Mae West or the wildly over-acting Raquel Welch?
Dir: Michael Sarne
Stars: Mae West, John Huston, Raquel Welch, Rex Reed, Farrah Fawcett
MYSTERIES OF THE GODS
1976
0
Documentary that looks into claims that aliens have visited the Earth down the centuries.
For 'Chariots' try 'Mysteries' - yes, it's the same sort of tall tales from Reinl, this time fronted - in the US re-edit - by a dapper looking Bill Shatner who asks a lot of questions, the answer probably being 'no' to most of them (how much of this stuff did he believe?). It's odd that potentially weird and exciting stories come across as being not all that thrilling to sit down and watch. The crystal skull is just one thing to have been disproved, and the lady who predicted that aliens would come to visit in 1977 was presumably a little annoyed and disappointed when they didn't.
Dir: Harald Reinl, Charles Romine
Stars: William Shatner
THE MYSTERIOUS DOCTOR
1943
0
During World War II, a Cornish village is bothered by what appears to be a headless monster.
Hollywood's recreation of wartime Cornwall doesn't amount to much more than an inn, a couple of foggy moors and a tin mine but they give a bit of a 'cosy' feel (not exactly intended at the time - in fact this was one of a few films to get an H for horror certificate in Britain), although the initial scenes of the ghoul, and the barman in his mask, are a mite unsettling. It turns into a fairly standard mystery thriller serving up an anti-German message, but it's a painless way to spend an hour, especially if you're meant to be 'working from home'.
Dir: Benjamin Stoloff
Stars: John Loder, Eleanor Parker, Bruce Lester, Lester Matthews
MYSTERIOUS ISLAND
1961
*
During the American Civil War, POWs escape to an island inhabited by giant monsters.
Nice slice of escapism peopled by some terrific Ray Harryhausen nasties.
Dir: Cy Endfield
Stars: Michael Craig, Joan Greenwood, Herbert Lom
THE MYSTERIOUS MR WONG
1934
0
A reporter is captured by a Chinaman intent on finding valuable gold coins.
Inert guff shot in a few rooms, offering no thrills at all. Not for modern folk with delicate sensibilities and, despite its 50-minute running time, probably not for anyone else either, including Lugosi fans.
Dir: William Nigh
Stars: Bela Lugosi, Wallace Ford, Arline Judge
MYSTERIOUS TWO
1979 (TV)
0
A pair of aliens visit Earth to enrol travellers.
Bland sci-fi which wasn't even played by the network that ordered it.
Dir: Gary Sherman
Stars: John Forsythe, Priscilla Pointer
THE MYSTERY OF THE MARY CELESTE
1936
0
A musing on what might have happened on the ship that was found deserted on the high seas in 1872.
Creaky melodrama that is largely tiresome until the final ten minutes but is appropriately dark and stormy throughout, with some grit in its depiction of the sailors’ behaviour. It now seemingly exists only in a chopped down 62m version that is all too obviously lacking several excised scenes.
Dir: Denison Clift
Stars: Bela Lugosi, Arthur Margetson, Edmund Willard
MYSTERY OF THE WAX MUSEUM
1933
**
A reporter suspects that wax dummies at a museum are in fact dead bodies.
Sub plots and comic relief awkwardly stand alongside superior horror material which, in vibrant early Technicolor, is fiery and memorable.
Dir: Michael Curtiz
Stars: Lionel Atwill, Fay Wray, Glenda Farrell
MYSTERY ON BIRD ISLAND
1954
0
Children try to stop men stealing bird eggs on Alderney.
More Blytonesque adventures for prototype Fifties British children courtesy of the indefatigable CFF - the non-stop location shooting is of much more interest than the simple plot.
Dir: John Haggerty
Stars: Nick Edmett, Mavis Sage, Jennifer Beach
MYSTERY ON MONSTER ISLAND
1981
0
Adventurers journey to a strange, remote island.
Six-year-olds might get something from this kooky Spanish production which is bookended by appearances from Stamp and Cushing: in between there's lots of bad acting (Sera is nondescript, Hatton is ridiculously OTT), and Doctor Who type monsters. Not one for anyone's CV, not even the best boy's.
Dir: Juan Piquer Simon
Stars: Ian Sera, David Hatton, Peter Cushing, Terence Stamp
MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000: THE MOVIE
1996
0
On a space station, a man and two robots watch Fifties sci-fi film This Island Earth.
Those into the TV series this is based on may have a ball, but those who aren't - which must include many Brits - may find it a weird and tedious exercise in triviality. The quips vary in funniness, from totally unfunny to mildly amusing, but the general concept is just irritating and silly, and, on the whole, rewatching This Island Earth would be preferable.
Dir: Jim Mallon
Stars: Trace Beaulieu, Michael J Nelson
MYSTERY TRAIN
1989
*
Three tales connected by a Memphis hotel and the spirit of Elvis Presley.
Arty drama which cleverly intermingles different narratives while showcasing some eccentric performances.
Dir: Jim Jarmusch
Stars: Screamin' Jay Hawkins, Joe Strummer, Jodie Markell, Steve Buscemi
MYSTIC PIZZA
1988
0
Three teenage girls learn about life and love while working at a pizza parlour.
Uninteresting domestic drama set in a washed-out landscape; of almost no appeal at all to the male population.
Dir: Donald Petrie
Stars: Annabeth Gish, Julia Roberts, Lili Taylor
MYSTIC RIVER
2003
**
In working class Boston, three men who shared a traumatic childhood experience are once again linked by a tragic murder.
Dark, murky drama whose implausibilities are masked by strong performances and generally firm handling of the material.
Dir: Clint Eastwood
Stars: Sean Penn, Tim Robbins, Kevin Bacon, Laurence Fishburne
MYSTIFY: MICHAEL HUTCHENCE
2019
**
Documentary about the charismatic but troubled lead singer of INXS.
An engrossing portrait of someone who in many ways was a typical artist, an emotionally delicate but talented figure who, although the film tends to play the fact down, led a vastly better life than most of us do. A wise editorial decision is not to use footage of talking heads but instead to use a mass of home movies and other material with their words over it. It's very good for keen fans, and pretty good for those with only a passing interest in Hutchence.
Dir: Richard Lowenstein
