1997
***
In 1950s LA, three cops attempt to uncover a conspiracy behind the slayings of patrons at an all-night diner.
Powerful thriller which keeps you watching even if you don't understand everything that's going on.
Dir: Curtis Hanson
Stars: Kevin Spacey, Russell Crowe, Guy Pearce, James Cromwell, Kim Basinger, Danny DeVito
LA LA LAND
2016
**
A wannabe actress and a frustrated jazz musician get romantic in Hollywood.
This love letter to cinema is similar to the same year’s Cafe Society; Woody Allen’s film, which also concerned life not always going as it ‘should’, had a better script but it’s this one that has the even more gorgeous visuals and resplendent song and dance routines. It starts in exuberant fashion and is an accomplished piece of work overall, but that script is overlong and not especially original, and the main characters don’t have much chemistry (Gosling looks great but is wooden, Stone is a fine actress but not the most attractive). It’s not as sensational as the director’s debut, Whiplash, but it certainly has wonderful sequences, including the final 'dream' montage. As is so often the case now, maddeningly and ridiculously, a single expletive is inserted to stop it being the family-friendly PG film it surely should have been.
Dir: Damien Chazelle
Stars: Ryan Gosling, Emma Stone, Rosemarie DeWitt, JK Simmons
LA STORY
1990
0
A wacky weather man tries to woo an English journalist.
Snippets are half funny, but this attempt by Steve Martin to be Woody Allen overreaches itself and ends up as a disappointing misfire.
Dir: Mick Jackson
Stars: Steve Martin, Victoria Tennant, Richard E Grant, Sarah Jessica Parker, Kevin Pollak, Patrick Stewart
LABORATORY
1980
0
Six people are kidnapped and experimented on by sparkly aliens.
Cheapo sci-fi with a fab line in disco extraterrestrials; after a promising start it doesn't go too far (in any respect).
Dir: Robert Emenegger, Allan Sandler
Stars: Martin Kove, Ken Washington, Camille Mitchell
LABYRINTH
1986
0
A girl must solve a Goblin King's labyrinth to save her baby brother.
For a film seemingly fondly remembered by many, this children's film (for that is what it is) is actually pretty dreadful, a thin, dated looking fantasy with excruciating pauses for some of David Bowie's worst songs. The best that can be said of it is that some of the creatures are imaginatively designed.
Dir: Jim Henson
Stars: David Bowie, Jennifer Connelly, Toby Froud
LACOMBE LUCIEN
1974
*
In 1944 France, a young boy joins the Resistance but then has other thoughts.
Overrated by many a posh critic, this unentrancing drama is handicapped from the start by a deeply unsympathetic lead, and does nothing afterwards to draw you in again. Real scenes of animal cruelty put you off further.
Dir: Louis Malle
Stars: Pierre Blaise, Aurore Clement, Holger Lowenadler
LABYRINTH
1986
0
A girl must solve a Goblin King's labyrinth to save her baby brother.
For a film seemingly fondly remembered by many, this children's film (for that is what it is) is actually pretty dreadful, a thin, dated looking fantasy with excruciating pauses for some of David Bowie's worst songs. The best that can be said of it is that some of the creatures are imaginatively designed.
Dir: Jim Henson
Stars: David Bowie, Jennifer Connelly, Toby Froud
LACOMBE LUCIEN
1974
*
In 1944 France, a young boy joins the Resistance but then has other thoughts.
Overrated by many a posh critic, this unentrancing drama is handicapped from the start by a deeply unsympathetic lead, and does nothing afterwards to draw you in again. Real scenes of animal cruelty put you off further.
Dir: Louis Malle
Stars: Pierre Blaise, Aurore Clement, Holger Lowenadler
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THE FABULOUS STAINS
1982
*
A pop group of three girls rise to fame.
Not exactly the best of film titles (perhaps no wonder it was hardly released). A ragged tale of familiar exploits with a modern punk tinge, this works in fits and starts but is ruined by the absurd final 15 minutes which, like some of the preceding movie, presents erratic human behaviour and odd character motivations; it makes so little sense as to be insulting (there's no way the Stains' fans would turn on the idols just because of a speech from a person they hate). Elsewhere, the girl group strangely don't appear to have a drummer, good songs are limited, and the British rock group seem to be in a constant state of anger (with Steve Jones, as ever, unable to say a single line without swearing) - it's things like this that make its attempts at profundity laughable and pretentious. Aside from all this, it's watchable, with Paul Cook and Paul Simonon also there for punk fans.
Dir: Lou Adler
Stars: Diane Lane, Ray Winstone, Laura Dern, Steve Jones
THE LADIES MAN
1961
**
A young man who has been hurt by a relationship takes up a job in an all-female boarding house.
One of Lewis's best comedies, in which he also shows a talent for directing: besides some hilarious moments we get a profoundly cinematic experience, including the shooting of the huge set on which nearly all the action takes place and the unusual dance sequences. Random, crazy and with an eye-catching colour palette, it has an anarchic charge while also displaying signs of being tightly controlled; it's certainly better than expected.
Dir: Jerry Lewis
Stars: Jerry Lewis, Helen Traubel, Pat Stanley, Kathleen Freeman
LADIES WHO DO
1963
0
Female office cleaners pick up titbits that help them win on the stock market.
A little bit like a smaller I'm All Right Jack (I'm All Right Jill...?), this is an okay British comedy with perhaps not the most thrilling of subject matter, and a bit stretched out: it feels longer than its running time. Several familiar faces keep it chugging along, even if Mount is something of an acquired taste. It vaguely comments on a number of social and economic matters, saying a bit about the Britain of the time.
Dir: CM Pennington-Richards
Stars: Peggy Mount, Robert Morley, Harry H Corbett, Miriam Karlin
THE LADY AND THE MONSTER
1944
*
A millionaire's brain is preserved after his death and takes control of those around him.
Passable first filming of Curt Siodmak's Donovan's Brain.
Dir: George Sherman
Stars: Vera Ralston, Richard Arlen, Eric von Stronheim
LADY AND THE TRAMP
1955
**
A well-to-do cocker spaniel meets a streetwise mongrel on a sojourn in the city.
Extremely cute Disney animation in their most anthropomorphic vein, it occasionally turns the drama up a wee bit, but it's not long before the cuteness returns.
Dir: Clyde Geronimi, Wilfred Jackson, Hamilton Luske
Voices: Barbara Luddy, Larry Roberts, Peggy Lee, Bill Thompson
LADY BIRD
2017
*
A precocious 17-year-old girl pines to escape from her home and Catholic education in Sacramento.
While not especially likeable or remarkable in any way, this coming-of-age drama hit the correct cultural hot spot, arriving at a time when female achievement in films was being celebrated to the max by awards committees. And it will say something to much of its female audience, with perceptive observations about the most difficult age of them all, but it's a shame there aren't more sympathetic characters in it and most of the jokes - if they can be called that - were given away in the trailer.
Dir: Greta Gerwig
Stars: Saoirse Ronan, Laurie Metcalf, Tracy Letts, Lucas Hedges
LADY CHATTERLEY
2006
***
An upper class woman falls in love with her husband’s gamekeeper.
An interpretation of an earlier draft of Lawrence’s novel, and one which successfully conveys the sexual feelings of the protagonists and these feelings’ connection with nature. Some viewers may be put off by everything from a podgy, balding gamekeeper to the lengthy running time, but this is relaxing yet stimulating cinema made with understated intelligence (and Hands is truly beautiful and perfect for the part).
Dir: Pascale Ferran
Stars: Marina Hands, Jean-Louis Coulloc’h, Hippolyte Girardot
LADY CHATTERLEY’S LOVER
1981
0
After her husband is crippled, a woman searches elsewhere for sexual satisfaction.
Shallow adaptation of the notorious if not great Lawrence novel; the female star does her usual disrobing but the general tone seems uncertain and weary.
Dir: Just Jaeckin
Stars: Sylvia Kristel, Shane Briant, Nicholas Clay
LADY CHATTERLEY'S LOVER
2022
*
A version made for Netflix, given a brief cinema release.
Not nearly as good as 2006's Lady Chatterley or Ken Russell's TV version from 1993, this is a routine retread of the material, still perfectly watchable of course, just a bit bloodless and low key, with some questionable decisions about what to leave in and what to leave out of the original source material. It's blue more in the sense of its cinematography than its naughty scenes, although there are a few.
Dir: Laure de Clermont-Tonnerre
Stars: Emma Corrin, Jack O'Connell, Matthew Duckett, Joely Richardson
THE LADY EVE
1941
*
A dopey young rich man falls for a sexy card shark.
Much-praised but not remarkable comedy from an overrated director; Fonda's pratfalls quickly become tiresome.
Dir: Preston Sturges
Stars: Barbara Stanwyck, Henry Fonda, Charles Coburn
LADY FOR A DAY
1933
**
An old lady who is an apple seller pretends to be rich for a visit by her daughter.
Capra's film surprises in at least two ways: most of the action concerns gangsters rather than the mother and her daughter, and the story is not resolved with honesty - you could question the correctness of pretending to live like this and why it matters so much if there is love. But it's a highly polished affair, performed and directed with consummate professionalism.
Dir: Frank Capra
Stars: May Robson, Warren William, Guy Kibbee, Glenda Farrell
LADY FRANKENSTEIN
1971
0
Dr Frankenstein’s daughter also takes an interest in creating monsters from body parts.
Not unendurable horror, best seen, if at all, in the uncut version.
Dir: Mel Welles
Stars: Joseph Cotten, Rosalba Neri, Paul Muller
LADY FOR A DAY
1933
**
An old lady who is an apple seller pretends to be rich for a visit by her daughter.
Capra's film surprises in at least two ways: most of the action concerns gangsters rather than the mother and her daughter, and the story is not resolved with honesty - you could question the correctness of pretending to live like this and why it matters so much if there is love. But it's a highly polished affair, performed and directed with consummate professionalism.
Dir: Frank Capra
Stars: May Robson, Warren William, Guy Kibbee, Glenda Farrell
LADY FRANKENSTEIN
1971
0
Dr Frankenstein’s daughter also takes an interest in creating monsters from body parts.
Not unendurable horror, best seen, if at all, in the uncut version.
Dir: Mel Welles
Stars: Joseph Cotten, Rosalba Neri, Paul Muller
THE LADY FROM SHANGHAI
1947
***
An Irish seaman stumbles into a strange murder plot after becoming infatuated with the glamorous wife of a disabled lawyer.
Welles the maverick genius makes a nutty film once more, one that's as frustrating and sometimes brilliant in the manner that only he could fashion: after an arresting beginning the mid-section saunters, but when the plot kicks in we get the unique stuff - the aquarium trip, the eccentric court trial, the Chinese theatre, the funhouse finale. Considering it was cut right down by the studio, perhaps it's odd they didn't cut more of the mid-section. Welles' accent wavers, Hayworth is stunning, Anders is outlandish, the shot set-ups are accomplished and the experience overall one you can say was definitely a cinematic one.
Dir: Orson Welles
Stars: Orson Welles, Rita Hayworth, Everett Sloane, Glenn Anders
1951
0
A waitress’s life is changed when she wins a beauty contest.
Ineffective and dated comic drama with an insipid female lead but a solid supporting cast.
Dir: Frank Launder
Stars: Pauline Stroud, Stanley Holloway, Dennis Price, George Cole, Diana Dors, Alastair Sim, Sid James, Kay Kendall, Dora Bryan
LADY IN THE LAKE
1946
*
Private detective Philip Marlowe searches for a publisher's wife who has apparently run off to Mexico.
Complex private eye thriller made all the more silly and hard to follow by having us see everything through the hero's eyes; a novel idea which had to be tried once, but once was enough.
Dir: Robert Montgomery
Stars: Robert Montgomery, Audrey Totter, Lloyd Nolan
LADY IN WHITE
1988
*
A boy is stalked by the killer of a young girl.
Unusual ghost story which mixes at least one element too many in.
Dir: Frank LaLoggia
Stars: Lukas Haas, Len Carious, Alex Rocco
LADY OF THE NIGHT
1986
0
A disgruntled married woman seeks out dangerous illicit encounters.
Wearisome spaghetti erotica that isn't as Tinto Brass-esque as one would like.
Dir: Piero Schivazappa
Stars: Serena Grandi, Fabio Sartor, Francesca Topi
THE LADY VANISHES
1938
****
On a train going through Europe, an elderly woman who has previously been talking to a younger woman disappears, and no one will admit to ever having seen her.
After a light-hearted and still very funny first half hour, this settles down to become a teasing and tantalising mystery that's as splendid a combination of suspense, humour and thrills as you're likely to find, beautifully performed and directed. No wonder Hitchcock was poached by Hollywood because of this film - which is somewhat ironic given that it's one of the most delightfully British films ever made.
Dir: Alfred Hitchcock
Stars: Margaret Lockwood, Michael Redgrave, Paul Lukas, Dame May Whitty, Cecil Parker, Naunton Wayne, Basil Radford
THE LADY VANISHES
1979
*
Fair remake not really in the same class; one for the uncritical. The suspense elements are a little too dampened, in part due to the emphasis on Gould and Shepherd's screwball antics, in part due to the sunny Swiss climes. The last film from old-style Hammer, but not recognisably Hammer in any way.
Dir: Anthony Page
Stars: Elliott Gould, Cybill Shepherd, Angela Lansbury, Herbert Lom, Arthur Lowe, Ian Carmichael
LADY VENGEANCE
2005
0
A woman wrongfully imprisoned for a murder goes after the real perpetrator.
Arid, confusing, unpleasant thriller which looks good but has no dramatic thrust at all.
Dir: Chan-wook Park
Stars: Yeong-ae Lee, Min-sik Choi
THE LADY WITH A LAMP
1951
*
The life of Florence Nightingale.
Solid, or possibly stolid, biopic of a great woman; perhaps we still await a better, more varied movie of her life, but this will do for now.
Dir: Herbert Wilcox
Stars: Anna Neagle, Michael Wilding, Gladys Young, Felix Aylmer
THE LADYKILLERS
1955
****
A gang of crooks hole up in a sweet old lady's house while they carry out a train heist, but she gets wise to their plans.
The last truly classic Ealing comedy, and surely the best of the bunch, brilliantly blending menace and cosiness, it features wonderfully lopsided production design, gorgeous colour photography, an impeccable cast and a masterful script colluding to draw the viewer into its macabre yet comforting world.
Dir: Alexander Mackendrick
Stars: Alec Guinness, Katie Johnson, Cecil Parker, Herbert Lom, Peter Sellers, Danny Green, Jack Warner, Frankie Howerd, Kenneth Connor
LAGERFELD CONFIDENTIAL
2007
*
Documentary about one of the world’s top fashion designers, Karl Lagerfeld.
The director is content to let his idiosyncratic, philosophical subject hog the limelight, an approach which has some merit as Lagerfeld dispenses interesting aphorisms and is a unique, intriguing personality.
Dir: Rodolphe Marconi
Stars: Karl Lagerfeld, Nicole Kidman
THE LAIR OF THE WHITE WORM
1989
*
A witch in a castle threatens local villagers.
Likeable, campy horror tale that's a melange of eccentric symbolism, hammy acting, pleasant countryside and a really horrid monster.
Dir: Ken Russell
Stars: Amanda Donohoe, Hugh Grant, Catherine Oxenberg, Peter Capaldi, Sammi Davis, Stratford Johns, Linzi Drew
THE LAKE
1978
*
A couple are menaced by something nasty in the countryside.
Creepy short which may unsettle those in the mood to be unsettled; like Long Weekend (qv), it makes the point that nature appears to be out to get us, and that's a fact. Half an hour of it is definitely long enough, though.
Dir: Lindsey C Vickers
Stars: Gene Foad, Julie Peasgood
LAKE MUNGO
2008
*
A sixteen-year-old girl drowns and appears to return as a ghost.
A mock documentary that’s a bit of a cross between Blair Witch and Twin Peaks, it offers unsettling moments – the figures in the backgrounds of the photographs – but goes on too long and ends with a whimper, not a bang. At least it knows the limitations that its low budget have set it.
Dir: Joel Anderson
Stars: Rose Traynor, Martin Sharpe, Talia Zucker
THE LAMP
1986
0
An ancient genie is released from a lamp when thieves ransack an elderly woman's house.
Empty horror with some demonic piffle at the end, unleashed by one feeble line of dialogue.
Dir: Tom Daley
Stars: Deborah Winters, James Huston
THE LAND BEFORE TIME
1988
0
Four orphan dinosaurs have adventures in the prehistoric world.
Juvenile cartoon for the very young, an easy option for the producers.
Dir: Don Bluth
Voices: Candace Hutson, Judith Barsi, Helen Shaver
THE LAND THAT TIME FORGOT
1974
*
During World War I, a submarine ends up in a land of dinosaurs and Neanderthals.
Amicus's new direction involved juvenile adventures rather than horror portmanteaus, unfortunately; this should keep the small ones occupied for a while, but much of it is unconvincing, including everything from the small things (the fights) to the big things (the dinosaurs).
Dir: Kevin Connor
Stars: Doug McClure, John McEnery, Susan Penhaligon, Keith Barron, Anthony Ainley
LAND WITHOUT BREAD
1933
***
Documentary about the rural Las Hurdes region of Spain, where folk lived near-medieval lives.
Bunuel's fascinating, once banned, short is a must-watch, ostensibly a film about people in poverty but with other meanings not too far below the surface.
Dir: Luis Bunuel
LASSIE
2005
**
A small Yorkshire boy has his beloved pet collie sold to rich landowners who move to Scotland.
In some ways an old-fashioned film, in some ways more modern because of its signposted social conscience and keenness to mock formality, this is a mostly involving, well made version of Eric Knight's book that can tweak the tear ducts when it chooses to - if the actor who played the little lad was more emotive it would do even more so.
Dir: Charles Sturridge
Stars: Peter O'Toole, Jonathan Mason, Steve Pemberton, Samantha Morton, John Lynch, Peter Dinklage
LASSIE COME HOME
1943
*
A collie undertakes a taxing journey to return to its owner after it is sold to a rich Duke.
The movie that started the whole Lassie ball rolling looks a little past its best now but still provides plenty of 'aaahs' for dog lovers everywhere.
Dir: Fred M Wilcox
Stars: Roddy McDowall, Elizabeth Taylor, Elsa Lanchester, Donald Crisp, Dame May Whitty, Edmund Gwenn, Nigel Bruce
LAST ACTION HERO
1993
*
A young movie fan enters the world of his favourite film character.
This could have been a great film, and isn’t too far away, but is prevented from being one by a swollen running time, some hamfisted handling and a star who may be a dynamic action hero but is hardly adept at putting over the script’s more subtle nuances. There are lots of witty ideas and knowing movie references but it was all too clever-clever for audiences, who stayed away in droves.
Dir: John McTiernan
Stars: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Austin O’Brien, Charles Dance, F Murray Abraham, Art Carney, Anthony Quinn, Ian McKellen
THE LAST AMERICAN VIRGIN
1982
0
Three young teenagers have various troubles in their new world of girls.
Remake of the director's own Lemon Popsicle (qv) that begins with real promise, full of zest and life, but then degenerates because of plain performances and weak writing that doesn't build amusing scenes or believable characters, leading to a ridiculous finale - but long before that syrupy music has offensively taken over the soundtrack.
Dir: Boaz Davidson
Stars: Lawrence Monoson, Diane Franklin, Steve Antin
THE LAST BATTLE
1983
**
In a post-apocalyptic future, the few humans left struggle for survival.
For those that can put up with the lack of dialogue and colour, an engrossing tale of human desperation, strikingly shot.
Dir: Luc Besson
Stars: Pierre Jolivet, Jean Bouise, Jean Reno
LAST CALL
1990
0
A busty blonde plots revenge on the estate agent who killed her mother.
Vacuous thriller with that familiar sheen of an indifferent Yank 'suitable only for video' production.
Dir: Jag Mundhra
Stars: William Katt, Shannon Tweed, Matt Roe
LAST CANNIBAL WORLD
1977
*
An oil prospector gets stuck in a remote forest in the Philippines.
One of the more notable cannibal flicks, this is a grimly solid and gritty tale of attempted survival in a primitive culture, with many moments that could only have been shot at this period in film history, chiefly the animal cruelty and sexual displays. Impressively filmed on location, it again demonstrates that Deodato was one of the more competent and interesting directors working in the genre.
Dir: Ruggero Deodato
Stars: Massimo Foschi, Me Me Lai, Ivan Rassimov
LAST CHANTS FOR A SLOW DANCE
1977
*
A bad husband and absent father aimlessly drifts around rural America.
This will be for few but its rawness and distinct style almost win you over: shot for $2,000, it's a series of long sequences in which the camera hardly moves and the sound and picture are scrappy, with what might be improvised dialogue between characters on the margins of society. It has a certain something about it, a capturing of down-at-heel lives, that those with patience may appreciate.
Dir: Jon Jost
Stars: Tom Blair, Wayne Crouse, Jessica St John
THE LAST CHAPTER
1974
*
A popular author gets a visit from a girl claiming to be a big fan.
Constantly interesting two-hander, with fantasy inserts, that’s twisty and sexy and really benefits from the two excellent actors.
Dir: David Tringham
Stars: Denholm Elliot, Susan Penhaligon
THE LAST DAYS ON MARS
2013
0
Astronauts on the Red Planet encounter problems after one of their group uncovers evidence of bacteria.
Neither a ballsy, trashy horror flick nor a cerebral sci-fi story, this very unoriginal film starts slowly and ends in a strangely inactive fashion - it's really not much fun to spend time with.
Dir: Ruairi Robinson
Stars: Liev Schreiber, Elias Koteas, Romola Garai
LAST EMBRACE
1979
*
An ex-agent suspects someone is trying to bump him off.
Complex and humourless Hitchcockian thriller which only entertains in its closing stages.
Dir: Jonathan Demme
Stars: Roy Scheider, Janet Margolin, John Glover, Christopher Walken
THE LAST EMPEROR
1987
*
The life of the last emperor of China.
Lavish in visual terms but dramatically rather inert, this award-laden history lesson is difficult to empathise with and therefore a little boring, despite its opulent treats.
Dir: Bernardo Bertolucci
Stars: John Lone, Joan Chen, Peter O'Toole
LAST EXIT TO BROOKLYN
1989
**
The grim and violent lives of the inhabitants of a down-at-hell 1950s Brooklyn neighbourhood.
Faithful filming of a modern classic, it powerfully captures the sordid feel of Selby Jr's writing, with touches of humour and visual style. Those of a reserved disposition might want to look away.
Dir: Uli Edel
Stars: Jennifer Jason Leigh, Stephen Lang, Burt Young, Stephen Baldwin
THE LAST GREAT WILDERNESS
2003
0
A mismatched pair of men take refuge in a strange halfway house in the Scottish Highlands.
Portentous drama that starts promisingly but descends into hysteria that will see it descend into obscurity.
Dir: David Mackenzie
Stars: Alastair Mackenzie, Jonathan Phillips, Ewan Stewart
LAST HOLIDAY
1950
*
When a lonely man finds out that he only has a short time to live, he goes to stay at a posh hotel for a final fling.
More of a drama than a comedy, a melancholic tale of unfulfilled potential that's lifted by a characterful cast. Nice moments at an unhurried pace.
Dir: Henry Cass
Stars: Alec Guinness, Beatrice Campbell, Kay Walsh, Sid James
THE LAST HORROR FILM
1982
*
A man obsessed with a horror film star follows her to the Cannes Film Festival, where there is a killer on the loose.
Likeable, knowing shocker that despite its obvious limitations manages to make a few smart observations about fiction's relation to non-fiction, and captures the time and place nicely: there are references to recent real-life major crimes, all the Cannes '81 stuff gives it a real tang, and visually and aurally it's very distinctly an Eighties movie, despite the decade being so young. Spinell (and his mum) give hugely enjoyable, cheesy performances, there are crowd-pleasing dollops of gore and nudity, and although the last half hour flags a little, there's a hilarious final line to top it off.
Dir: David Winters
Stars: Joe Spinell, Caroline Munro
THE LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT
1972
***
A gang of murderers unwittingly seek refuge with the parents of a girl they have just butchered.
An updating of Ingmar Bergman's Virgin Spring, and a controversial one at that (it was banned in Britain for years). After the furore's died down it can be judged as a compelling thriller which goes to extremes but shows great directorial promise – the mixing of deep sleaze and inhumane actions with some light-hearted material actually works because it contrasts different world experiences, and the plot, while implausible, is a searching examination of man’s primal state.
Dir: Wes Craven
Stars: Sandra Cassel, Lucy Grantham, David Hess, Fred Lincoln, Jeramie Rain
THE LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT
2009
0
Overlong and inferior remake which does many things differently and gets most of them wrong, including the introduction of the teenage boy character, the fact that Mari doesn’t actually die and the hopelessly stretched out retributive violence. Partly sanitised, it starts so well but in the end you’re not egging the parents on to get revenge, and that is where the movie’s failure is most evident.
Dir: Dennis Iliadis
Stars: Garret Dillahunt, Michael Bowen, Joshua Cox
THE LAST HUNTER
1980
0
A soldier searches for something behind enemy lines in Vietnam.
Because we don't really know what he's up to, this war exploiter struggles to intrigue, and very few of the scenes have much impact; a sort of bargain bin Deer Hunter.
Dir: Antonio Margheriti
Stars: David Warbeck, Tisa Farrow, Tony King, Bobby Rhodes
THE LAST JOURNEY
1936
*
A train driver on his very final shift goes mad and nearly kills all his passengers.
Something of a feast for vintage railway enthusiasts (there are steam trains and lots of Paddington station), and not a bad little multi-strand drama, extraordinarily busy, and shot and edited in a brisk, florid fashion quite unlike the majority of British productions around this time.
Dir: Bernard Vorhaus
Stars: Hugh Williams, Godfrey Tearle, Julien Mitchell
THE LAST LAUGH
1924
**
A doorman at a grand hotel is devastated to lose his job.
Murnau's famous drama is most appreciated for its innovative camerawork and shot composition, which is far ahead of what was the case at the time. In fact, the slender story rather feels undeserving of such treatment: its shoulders can hardly bear the weight. But Jennings is larger than life - indeed, the performance and the visuals make it unnecessary for title cards. The final ten minutes or so feel entirely different to what's gone before, but perhaps they are necessary to avoid a feeling of despair...?
Dir: FW Murnau
Stars: Emil Jennings, Maly Delschaft, Max HillerTHE LAST MAN ON EARTH
1964
*
A scientist appears to be the last civilised man on Earth - a plague has turned fellow humans into vampires.
Effective B-feature that may not make complete sense but creepily conveys the sense of a half-deserted, frightening world plagued by zombie like creatures, who behave in a similar way to George A Romero's in Night Of The Living Dead. Price, the man with the greatest voice in cinema, is as usual a prize asset.
Dir: Ubaldo Ragona
Stars: Vincent Price, Franca Bettoia, Emma Danieli
THE LAST METRO
1980
*
While a Jewish theatre owner hides out in the cellar, his gentile wife garnishes attention from one of the actors in a play they are staging.
Fairly dull wartime drama which once again makes you wonder why Truffaut, such a devotee of Hitchcock, never made films anything like the master did - suspense, excitement and human feeling are largely absent from his pictures.
Dir: Francois Truffaut
Stars: Catherine Deneuve, Gerard Depardieu, Jean Poiret
1964
*
A scientist appears to be the last civilised man on Earth - a plague has turned fellow humans into vampires.
Effective B-feature that may not make complete sense but creepily conveys the sense of a half-deserted, frightening world plagued by zombie like creatures, who behave in a similar way to George A Romero's in Night Of The Living Dead. Price, the man with the greatest voice in cinema, is as usual a prize asset.
Dir: Ubaldo Ragona
Stars: Vincent Price, Franca Bettoia, Emma Danieli
THE LAST METRO
1980
*
While a Jewish theatre owner hides out in the cellar, his gentile wife garnishes attention from one of the actors in a play they are staging.
Fairly dull wartime drama which once again makes you wonder why Truffaut, such a devotee of Hitchcock, never made films anything like the master did - suspense, excitement and human feeling are largely absent from his pictures.
Dir: Francois Truffaut
Stars: Catherine Deneuve, Gerard Depardieu, Jean Poiret
LAST NIGHT IN SOHO
2021
**
A wannabe fashion designer obsessed with the 1960s finds she can somehow travel back there.
An impressive and original film that is an exercise in supreme style - its flourishes certainly carry you along, whether they be musical (the song choices are great) or visual (especially in the 1960s, with the bright lights, the clothes, the hairstyles...). It's flawed - the script is so determinedly female-centric that a character like Matt Smith's is not fleshed out at all, and then nearly forgotten, and the nod to diversity in the modern day doesn't work, resulting in one very jarring performance - but you have to take your hat off to its chutzpah and its frequent vibrancy. One of the director's best.
Dir: Edgar Wright
Stars: Thomasin McKenzie, Anya Taylor-Joy, Matt Smith, Diana Rigg, Terence Stamp
THE LAST PICTURE SHOW
1971
***
In 1951 Texas, teenagers learn harsh life lessons.
Beautifully made evocation of teenage angst and a time and a place, it manages to be emotionally affecting without overstatement. Its atmosphere is not soon forgotten.
Dir: Peter Bogdanovich
Stars: Timothy Bottoms, Jeff Bridges, Cybill Shepherd, Cloris Leachman, Ellen Burstyn, Clu Gulager, Sam Bottoms, Randy Quaid
THE LAST SEDUCTION
1994
**
A devious woman steals her husband's drug money and targets her next victim.
The lead female character may not be particularly believable (she is distinctive, though) and the movie perhaps quarter of an hour too long, but this is a spiky, well worked out thriller done with conviction. A less TV-ish look and a better score would have enhanced it further.
Dir: John Dahl
Stars: Linda Fiorentino, Peter Berg, Bill Pullman
THE LAST SHARK
1981
0
Shark attacks threaten tourism in an American seaside town.
Jaws fascimile with very few ideas of its own and not much suspense; at least the shark isn't as bad as some say.
Dir: Enzo G Castellari
Stars: James Franciscus, Vic Morrow, Joshua Sinclair
THE LAST SHOWGIRL
2024
**
A 57-year-old showgirl is distraught when the show she has been in for decades closes.
Slender but effective drama asking the question: what do you do with your life when what you've done with your life is now ending? We will all have to face this dilemma. A visibly aged Anderson capably leads a strong cast, the cinematography is sometimes elegiac, and although it may be simplistic, with not that much to it, in an era of way-too-long-and-weighty films that's quite refreshing. And it's better than Barb Wire.
Dir: Gia Coppola
Stars: Pamela Anderson, Dave Bautista, Jamie Lee Curtis, Kiernan Shipka, Billie Lourd
THE LAST STARFIGHTER
1984
*
A kid who is an whiz at video games is recruited to fight in a real interplanetary war.
Despite a languorous start and finish, this is an amusing sci-fi comic with excellent special effects.
Dir: Nick Castle
Stars: Lance Guest, Robert Preston, Dan O'Herlihy, Catherine Mary Stewart
THE LAST SUPPER
1995
**
A group of liberal students invite folk they hate round to tea to kill them.
Tantalising, tangy satire which successfully creates its own mad universe. The irony is that its irony will be lost on most Americans.
Dir: Stacy Title
Stars: Cameron Diaz, Ron Eldard, Annabeth Gish, Bill Paxton, Ron Perlman
LAST TANGO IN PARIS
1972
*
A young Parisian woman begins a purely sexual relationship with a middle-aged American businessman.
The Lady Chatterley of its day is a cold, self important film which doesn't endear the viewer to pompous, muttering Brando.
Dir: Bernardo Bertolucci
Stars: Marlon Brando, Maria Schneider
THE LAST WAVE
1977
*
A lawyer is drawn into a prophecy that predicts Armageddon.
Atmospheric but rather boring supernatural drama.
Dir: Peter Weir
Stars: Richard Chamberlain, Olivia Hamnett, David Gulpilil
LAST WOMAN ON EARTH
1960
0
Three people go diving and when they come up life on earth appears to have died.
Dull and daft Corman quickie that doesn't exactly live up to its poster (isn't that surprising?). It's the least end-of-the-world-feeling movie in the end-of-the-world genre.
Dir: Roger Corman
Stars: Antony Carbone, Robert Towne (as Edward Wain), Betsy Jones-Moreland
LAST YEAR AT MARIENBAD
1961
*
At a salubrious hotel, a man tells a woman they met there the year before but she has no recollection of it.
One of the best known French art house films, this will likely continue to split audiences for the next millennia. While it has its own distinct French pretentious style, and is beautifully costumed and shot, being laced with chilly elegance, it is simply not for those looking for a story - because there isn't one. Some might debate its meaning endlessly, so let them...
Dir: Alain Resnais
Stars: Delphine Seyrig, Giorgio Albertazzi, Sacha Pitoeff
THE LATE GREAT PLANET EARTH
1978
0
Documentary purporting to show that the Bible accurately predicted the global problems that afflicted the late 20th century.
An exhibit of two human-centric traits: to assert that there is a power that has some sort of control over us, and the perpetuation of a doomsday narrative. Both are eternal, and this is the 1970s version of them. After a tedious start in Biblical times we get down to it, with wild ideas being put about that the Bible 'predicted' such events as assassinations and wars, which is nonsense because that sort of thing happens anyway. We also get the eco doom-mongers, like Paul Ehrlich, who were about to be proved spectacularly wrong with their predictions of global famine and the depletion of fossil fuel. Did Orson believe any of this rot? Just how many people did it unjustifiably terrify? Whatever, it's a rather diverting slice of hucksterism.
Dir: Robert Amran
Narrator: Orson Welles
LAUGH WITH MAX LINDER
1963
***
Compilation of three edited features of the French silent comedian: Be My Wife, Seven Years Bad Luck and The Three Must-get-theres.
A hugely welcome feature starring a forgotten, talented funnyman; we should be grateful that such a project was commissioned.
Dir: Maud Linder
Narrator: Rene Clair. Stars: Max Linder
LAUGHING GRAVY
1931
****
Stan and Ollie, staying at a boarding house in the middle of winter, try to conceal their yappy dog from the cantankerous landlord.
Engaging comedy featuring the stars at their most typical, it remains one of their 'cosiest' films - perfect Christmas viewing, perhaps. In 1985 an alternate, longer version was discovered, focusing on an inheritance plot line, but the shorter version remains preferable.
Dir: James W Horne
Stars: Stan Laurel, Oliver Hardy, Charlie Hall
NB Remade in French as Les Carottiers and in Spanish as Los Calaveras, incorporating Be Big (qv); regrettably using the longer version's plot.
LAURA
1944
***
A detective investigates the mysterious death of a woman.
There are many interesting themes and ideas in this noir-ish thriller and they are packed into a concise running time; it’s certainly worth revisiting all these years later.
Dir: Otto Preminger
Stars: Gene Tierney, Dana Andrews, Clifton Webb, Vincent Price, Judith Anderson
LAURA
1979
0
A sculptor falls in love with his ex’s 15-year-old daughter.
One of erotic photographer Hamilton’s non-films, this is extremely slow, boring and pretentious.
Dir: David Hamilton
Stars: Maud Adams, Dawn Dunlap, James Mitchell
LAURA'S TOYS
1975
*
On a Swedish island, a woman realises that her archaeologist husband is sleeping with his assistant.
One of this director's many journeys into the erotic, this certainly manages to tick many of the required boxes, and what's interesting is that the performers are really engaged in the act, though the camera usually stays on their faces rather than going down below. This, combined with a bucolic location and its mildly twisted but genuinely sexual-saturated theme means it's a cut above the rest.
Dir: Joe Sarno
Stars: Mary Mendum, Eric Edwards, Cathja Graff
THE LAUREL-HARDY MURDER CASE
1930
*
Stan and Ollie head to an old dark house for the reading of a will, but a killer is on the loose.
Thin star comedy with a cop-out ending, it deserves a mark for amiability juxtaposed with authentic spoofing of the old dark house genre.
Dir: James Parrott
Stars: Stan Laurel, Oliver Hardy, Fred Kelsey, Tiny Sandford
LAURA
1944
***
A detective investigates the mysterious death of a woman.
There are many interesting themes and ideas in this noir-ish thriller and they are packed into a concise running time; it’s certainly worth revisiting all these years later.
Dir: Otto Preminger
Stars: Gene Tierney, Dana Andrews, Clifton Webb, Vincent Price, Judith Anderson
LAURA
1979
0
A sculptor falls in love with his ex’s 15-year-old daughter.
One of erotic photographer Hamilton’s non-films, this is extremely slow, boring and pretentious.
Dir: David Hamilton
Stars: Maud Adams, Dawn Dunlap, James Mitchell
LAURA'S TOYS
1975
*
On a Swedish island, a woman realises that her archaeologist husband is sleeping with his assistant.
One of this director's many journeys into the erotic, this certainly manages to tick many of the required boxes, and what's interesting is that the performers are really engaged in the act, though the camera usually stays on their faces rather than going down below. This, combined with a bucolic location and its mildly twisted but genuinely sexual-saturated theme means it's a cut above the rest.
Dir: Joe Sarno
Stars: Mary Mendum, Eric Edwards, Cathja Graff
THE LAUREL-HARDY MURDER CASE
1930
*
Stan and Ollie head to an old dark house for the reading of a will, but a killer is on the loose.
Thin star comedy with a cop-out ending, it deserves a mark for amiability juxtaposed with authentic spoofing of the old dark house genre.
Dir: James Parrott
Stars: Stan Laurel, Oliver Hardy, Fred Kelsey, Tiny Sandford
NB Noche De Duendes was the variable Spanish-language remake, incorporating Berth Marks (qv).
LAUREL AND HARDY’S LAUGHING 20’S
1965
**
Compilation primarily featuring Laurel and Hardy's silent work (From Soup To Nuts, Wrong Again, Putting Pants On Philip, The Finishing Touch, Liberty etc) though also showcasing other comedians of the period.
Great stuff, almost too much of it. Still, it's a joy to see again many of the pure, high-energy antics of that period, and the clips are given room to breathe.
Dir: Robert Youngson
Narrator: Jay Jackson. Stars: Stan Laurel, Oliver Hardy, Charley Chase, Max Davidson, Edgar Kennedy
THE LAVENDER HILL MOB
1951
****
A mild-mannered bank employee devises an ingenious plan to rob his employees of several million pounds.
Beautifully flowing Ealing comedy that's as cleverly constructed as it is flawlessly played.
Dir: Charles Crichton
Stars: Alec Guinness, Stanley Holloway, Sid James, Alfie Bass, Edie Martin
LAW AND DISORDER
1958
*
A con man goes to great lengths to conceal his criminality from his son.
Brisk comedy from a writer and director respectively responsible for many Ealing classics.
Dir: Charles Crichton
Stars: Michael Redgrave, Robert Morley, Joan Hickson, Lionel Jeffries, John Le Mesurier
THE LAWNMOWER MAN
1992
*
Computer science turns a simple man into a genius, but he goes bad.
Comic book fantasy (with comic book dialogue) which impressively utilises virtual reality technology. The makers would have been wiser to aim it directly at children via a PG.
Dir: Brett Leonard
Stars: Jeff Fahey, Pierce Brosnan, Jenny Wright
LAWRENCE OF ARABIA
1962
***
The life of T E Lawrence, who helped the British Army destroy the Ottoman Empire.
Sprawling, four-hour long epic possibly more concerned with beautiful visuals than the real complexities of the title character, but a great cinematic achievement nonetheless. The script is highly intelligent (some historical knowledge is required to understand parts of it), the cinematography unsurpassed and the score is truly classic(al). You imagine that every single person who worked on it was a consummate professional. And yet... O'Toole's performance is extremely 'actor-y' and angsty, very unlikely as to how Lawrence really was, and its denseness verges on being overwhelming. Politics-wise it walks a curious line - does it in some ways show the birth of political correctness? Maybe so, maybe not. 1988 saw a restored version with yet more footage, best seen at the cinema, as with all other versions.
Dir: David Lean
Stars: Peter O'Toole, Alec Guinness, Anthony Quinn, Jack Hawkins, Omar Sharif, Jose Ferrer, Anthony Quayle, Claude Rains, Arthur Kennedy, Donald Wolfit
LAUREL AND HARDY’S LAUGHING 20’S
1965
**
Compilation primarily featuring Laurel and Hardy's silent work (From Soup To Nuts, Wrong Again, Putting Pants On Philip, The Finishing Touch, Liberty etc) though also showcasing other comedians of the period.
Great stuff, almost too much of it. Still, it's a joy to see again many of the pure, high-energy antics of that period, and the clips are given room to breathe.
Dir: Robert Youngson
Narrator: Jay Jackson. Stars: Stan Laurel, Oliver Hardy, Charley Chase, Max Davidson, Edgar Kennedy
1951
****
A mild-mannered bank employee devises an ingenious plan to rob his employees of several million pounds.
Beautifully flowing Ealing comedy that's as cleverly constructed as it is flawlessly played.
Dir: Charles Crichton
Stars: Alec Guinness, Stanley Holloway, Sid James, Alfie Bass, Edie Martin
LAW AND DISORDER
1958
*
A con man goes to great lengths to conceal his criminality from his son.
Brisk comedy from a writer and director respectively responsible for many Ealing classics.
Dir: Charles Crichton
Stars: Michael Redgrave, Robert Morley, Joan Hickson, Lionel Jeffries, John Le Mesurier
THE LAWNMOWER MAN
1992
*
Computer science turns a simple man into a genius, but he goes bad.
Comic book fantasy (with comic book dialogue) which impressively utilises virtual reality technology. The makers would have been wiser to aim it directly at children via a PG.
Dir: Brett Leonard
Stars: Jeff Fahey, Pierce Brosnan, Jenny Wright
LAWRENCE OF ARABIA
1962
***
The life of T E Lawrence, who helped the British Army destroy the Ottoman Empire.
Sprawling, four-hour long epic possibly more concerned with beautiful visuals than the real complexities of the title character, but a great cinematic achievement nonetheless. The script is highly intelligent (some historical knowledge is required to understand parts of it), the cinematography unsurpassed and the score is truly classic(al). You imagine that every single person who worked on it was a consummate professional. And yet... O'Toole's performance is extremely 'actor-y' and angsty, very unlikely as to how Lawrence really was, and its denseness verges on being overwhelming. Politics-wise it walks a curious line - does it in some ways show the birth of political correctness? Maybe so, maybe not. 1988 saw a restored version with yet more footage, best seen at the cinema, as with all other versions.
Dir: David Lean
Stars: Peter O'Toole, Alec Guinness, Anthony Quinn, Jack Hawkins, Omar Sharif, Jose Ferrer, Anthony Quayle, Claude Rains, Arthur Kennedy, Donald Wolfit
LAXDALE HALL
1953
*
Inhabitants of a small Scottish island revolt against rules put down by London.
Good-natured comedy without quite as much bite as Whisky Galore!, which it has much in common with; it has sympathy for the little man against authority, as was typical in many British films of the time.
Dir: John Eldridge
Stars: Ronald Squire, Kathleen Ryan, Raymond Huntley, Sebastian Shaw
LAYER CAKE
2004
0
A cocaine dealer about to retire is handed a tough assignment.
Tedious and tiresome combination of hectic plotting and angry people swearing at each other. For that and the violence, it's disgraceful that it was only awarded a 15 certificate.
Dir: Matthew Vaughn
Stars: Daniel Craig, Tom Hardy, Jamie Foreman, Sienna Miller, Michael Gambon
LE MANS '66
2019
**
Underdog Ford takes on Ferrari in the 24-hour race at Le Mans.
A proper man's film, the sort you see less of in this feminised, 'woke' era, it tells a story infused with male obsessiveness, perseverance, dedication and decency, all increasingly disparaged concepts in modern Hollywood (no wonder the bible of the wet, The Guardian, didn't like it). The racing scenes are fantastically shot, too, and the technical stuff only slightly skimped on - petrolheads should be in heaven. Just a wee bit long.
Dir: James Mangold
Stars: Matt Damon, Christian Bale, Jon Bernthal, Caitriona Balfe
THE LEAGUE OF GENTLEMEN
1960
***
A war veteran recruits a group of disgraced colleagues to commit an elaborate bank heist.
A thoroughly English, highly civilised entertainment that develops its narrative with precision and wit; it also acutely captures the feelings of many WW2 veterans at the start of the 1960s, as portrayed here by a host of priceless gentlemen actors. As critic Derek Winnert said, its cool cynicism has kept it fresh.
Dir: Basil Dearden
Stars: Jack Hawkins, Nigel Patrick, Richard Attenborough, Roger Livesey, Bryan Forbes, Kieron Moore, Terence Alexander, Norman Bird, Nanette Newman, Oliver Reed
LEAP OF FAITH
1992
**
A fake faith healer gets stranded in a small town.
A neat little humorous drama on a topical matter, a touch sentimental but with some ingenious demonstrations of fakery.
Dir: Richard Pearce
Stars: Steve Martin, Debra Winger, Lolita Davidovich, Liam Neeson, Meat Loaf, Philip Seymour Hoffman
THE LEATHER BOYS
1964
***
A young husband neglects his wife for a new biker friend.
One of the most interesting of the early Sixties British ‘kitchen sink’ dramas, with a subject matter better dealt with here than before or since – its timing was unexpectedly serendipitous, and it’s resulted in a viewing experience now that is not only riveting but suspenseful right up to the memorable final scenes. It’s not a complete success – the overlapping dialogue more smacks of under-rehearsal than a successful stab at naturalism, and some of the behaviour of Campbell and Tushingham’s characters is rather uneven – but this is easily compensated for by Sutton’s performance, several perfectly pitched scenes and extensive location shooting, including that of the biker mecca, the Ace Cafe in west London. It’s no wonder Morrissey used clips of this film in a Smiths video.
Dir: Sidney J Furie
Stars: Colin Campbell, Dudley Sutton, Rita Tushingham, Gladys Henson
LEATHERFACE: THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE III
1990
0
A Californian couple come up against the family of cannibals.
The weakest of the series so far, it doesn't take the franchise anywhere new or interesting, coming across like a darker, less shocking retread of the original.
Dir: Jeff Burr
Stars: R A Mihailoff, Viggo Mortensen, William Butler
LEAVE ’EM LAUGHING
1928
*
Stan and Ollie visit the dentist, become hysterical due to the laughing gas, then cause traffic chaos.
Episodic short with the funniest scenes coming towards the end, after the gas has been inhaled.
Dir: Clyde Bruckman
Stars: Stan Laurel, Oliver Hardy, Charlie Hall, Edgar Kennedy
LEAVING LAS VEGAS
1995
*
An alcoholic drinking himself to death in Las Vegas shacks up with a glamorous prostitute.
This film captures the grimy buzz of Vegas, and both the leads’ performances are worthy (in an actor-y sort of way) but it’s very downbeat and depressing. Indeed, it’s tough to care much about their characters and also hard to discern much meaning, though presumably there is some; it’s also frequently ruined by Sting’s ghastly warbling on the soundtrack.
Dir: Mike Figgis
Stars: Nicolas Cage, Elisabeth Shue, Julian Sands
THE LEECH WOMAN
1960
0
An unhappy older woman discovers how to become younger, but things go wrong.
Semi-endearing nonsense, choppily structured, a reasonable time-passer for lovers of not very good horror movies.
Dir: Edward Dein
Stars: Coleen Gray, Grant Williams, Phillip Terry
LEFT, RIGHT AND CENTRE
1959
*
Rival candidates at a by-election fall in love.
Pleasant, formulaic comedy for a rainy afternoon.
Dir: Sidney Gilliat
Stars: Ian Carmichael, Alastair Sim, Richard Wattis, Patricia Bredin, Hattie Jacques
LEGEND
1985
*
A young man battles the Lord Of Darkness to stop him from destroying daylight.
Visually sumptuous fantasy with splendid monsters, let down by an old hat plot and clichéd dialogue.
Dir: Ridley Scott
Stars: Tom Cruise, Mia Sara, Tim Curry
LEGEND
2015
*
Gangsters the Kray twins rule London in the mid-Sixties, but their downfall is coming.
Hardy's impressive pair of performances - along with the technical wizardry that goes with it - are the most successful elements of this unfocused and tonally odd real-life crime drama with a lame title: there are many poor decisions, including giving Nipper Read (Eccleston) so little time yet great prominence to minor figure Frances Shea (Browning), which one suspects was to open the story up and 'feminise' it. The second half is especially baggy, the soundtrack is disappointing, and it'd be cruel to even start discussing the historical inaccuracies; despite all this it remains a watchable picture.
Dir: Brian Helgeland
Stars: Tom Hardy, Emily Browning, Taron Egerton, Christopher Eccleston
THE LEGEND OF HELL HOUSE
1973
*
A group of supernatural experts stay in a haunted house for one week.
Lively chiller with a few frights for those in the mood for them; technically it's adept in every area, perhaps overly so given the silly subject matter. There's no knocking the uncredited cameo.
Dir: John Hough
Stars: Pamela Franklin, Roddy McDowall, Gayle Hunnicutt, Clive Revill, Peter Bowles, Michael Gough
THE LEGEND OF 1900
1998
*
A baby is born on board on ocean liner and remains there his whole life, becoming an accomplished pianist.
The director of Cinema Paradiso didn't achieve quite as much success with this curious English-speaking drama that appears to be more popular overseas than in Britain and the US. 1900's character is curiously underdeveloped - we miss out on a large part of his formative years (at least in the two-hour cut) - and the strong language is mostly incongruous and unwelcome, but it looks handsome and there are nice moments, like the piano duel.
Dir: Giuseppe Tornatore
Stars: Tim Roth, Pruitt Taylor Vince, Bill Nunn
THE LEGEND OF TARZAN
2016
*
Lord Greystoke returns to Africa to tackle a Belgian smuggler.
Moderately successful revision of one of fiction's most perennial heroes, this, predictably, attempts to incorporate 21st century values into Burroughs' old stories and, also predictably, comes with a mass of CGI. It's all watchable enough without being spectacular, and is most comfortable telling a fairly straightforward chase/revenge tale.
Dir: David Yates
Stars: Alexander Skarsgard, Margot Robbie, Samuel L Jackson, Christoph Waltz
LEGEND OF THE WEREWOLF
1975
*
A travelling circus in 19th century France unwittingly employs a werewolf.
Likeable low budget horror, absolutely unoriginal but salvaged by a good cast.
Dir: Freddie Francis
Stars: Peter Cushing, Ron Moody, Hugh Griffith, Roy Castle
LEGEND OF THE WITCHES
1970
0
Pseudo-documentary looking at the history of witchcraft in Britain.
A plaintive, dry project with bits of nudity to liven things up - indeed, it was sold on this premise, and a lot of punters must have gone home disappointed. Similarly DVD viewers when it re-emerged from obscurity in the early 2000s.
Dir: Malcolm Leigh
LEMON POPSICLE
1978
0
Three teenage boys in 1950s Israel try to get with girls.
Grotty and joyless Jewish sex comedy with very little plot and an overbearing soundtrack of old Fifties tunes; its international success was mystifying. Muddy picture quality and dire dubbing do it no favours either.
Dir: Boaz Davidson
Stars: Yftach Katzur, Jonathan Sagall, Zachi Noy
LEMONY SNICKET’S A SERIES OF UNFORTUNATE EVENTS
2004
**
Three children who are heirs to a fortune are persecuted by their evil, greedy relative.
Original, charming children's fantasy with stunning art direction and ripe performances, it should sit happily in the Christmas TV schedules for years to come.
Dir: Brad Silberling
Stars: Jim Carrey, Liam Aiken, Emily Browning, Timothy Spall, Billy Connolly, Meryl Streep
LENINGRAD COWBOYS GO AMERICA
1989
*
A group of bizarre Finnish musicians tour America.
A bit like a weirder Spinal Tap with fewer laughs.
Dir: Aki Kaurismaki
Stars: Matti Pellonpaa, Sakke Jarvenpaa
LENNY
1974
***
The heady, troubled life of controversial stand-up comedian Lenny Bruce.
Strikingly shot in monochrome, this compulsive documentary-style biopic has a brilliant, heartfelt performance at its centre.
Dir: Bob Fosse
Stars: Dustin Hoffman, Valerie Perrine, Jan Miner
LEON
1994
**
A 12-year-old girl is taken under the wing of a professional assassin.
Vital, original and engaging thriller, a sort of ultra violent fairy tale.
Dir: Luc Besson
Stars: Jean Reno, Gary Oldman, Natalie Portman, Danny Aiello
THE LEOPARD
1963
*
In the 1860s, Sicilian aristocracy attempts to maintain its eminence.
Sumptuous looking but agonisingly boring costume drama whose last hour is a ball in a stately home, with people saying they are bored. Unless the viewer possesses excellent knowledge of Italian history, or is a weird arty film nut, they will likely feel the same way.
Dir: Luchino Visconti
Stars: Burt Lancaster, Claudia Cardinale, Alain Delon, Paolo Stoppa
THE LEOPARD MAN
1943
**
Murders in a small town may have been committed by a loose leopard.
Quality horror which makes up in memorable scenes for what it lacks in precise plotting.
Dir: Jacques Tourneur
Stars: Dennis O'Keefe, Jean Brooks, Margo, James Bell
LESBIAN VAMPIRE KILLERS
2009
0
Two men go on a hiking trip and run into a bevy of beautiful but deadly vampires.
Moronic horror comedy that has little more ambition than to be a foul-mouthed, paper-thin, totally unfunny spin on a lurid title; the director adds little speeded up bits and different sorts of wipes but all it brings to mind is the phrase ‘You can’t polish a turd’.
Dir: Phil Claydon
Stars: James Corden, Mathew Horne, Paul McGann, MyAnna Buring
LESS THAN ZERO
1987
*
Young adults in LA spiral into drug addiction.
Unconvincing drama based on a much better and more uncompromising book; the acting’s variable, the characters aren’t likeable and the soundtrack is overbearing. American Psycho remains the best film adaptation of Bret Easton Ellis’s work.
Dir: Marek Kanievska
Stars: Andrew McCarthy, Robert Downey Jr, Jami Gertz, James Spader
LET HIM HAVE IT
1991
**
Dramatisation of the real-life case of the hanging of Derek Bentley, convicted of a policeman's murder despite mitigating circumstances.
A film of this startling story simply had to be made, and it would have taken much incompetence not to have presented details like the night of the murder and the subsequent trial as gripping viewing; the rest is solid enough, the general tone a little unambiguous. But its worth was proven by the fact that it kept the case in the public eye and helped get a pardon for Bentley later in the Nineties.
Dir: Peter Medak
Stars: Christopher Eccleston, Paul Reynolds, Tom Courtenay, Eileen Atkins, Michael Gough, Tom Bell
LET ME IN
2010
*
English language version of the story previously told in Let The Right One In (below), with the action now set in New Mexico.
Some adjectives to describe this film: cold, upsetting, unpleasant, moody, dark, slow, understated, well made, well acted, strange. So not dissimilar to Alfredson's movie, but a world away from anything its company, Hammer, used to make in the old days.
Dir: Matt Reeves
Stars: Kodi Smitt-McPhee, Chloe Grace Moretz, Richard Jenkins
LET THE RIGHT ONE IN
2008
**
A bullied 12-year-old boy is drawn to a young androgynous vampire.
Films don’t get much chillier than this intelligent rites-of-passage horror that deeply immerses you in a wintry suburb of Stockholm and brings new ideas to the tired vampire genre; the story is somewhat drawn out but the acting of the young leads is excellent, the cinematography sparkles and it never loses its cool no matter how outrageous the incident.
Dir: Tomas Alfredson
Stars: Kare Hedebrant, Lina Leandersson, Per Ragnar
LETHAL WEAPON
1987
*
A veteran policeman is teamed with a wild young colleague.
Variation on the old cop buddies theme, this rather empty romp was watched by many.
Dir: Richard Donner
Stars: Mel Gibson, Danny Glover, Gary Busey
LETHAL WEAPON 2
1989
**
Riggs and Murtaugh go on the trail of violent South African diplomats.
Unpleasant but undeniably gripping thriller.
Dir: Richard Donner
Stars: Mel Gibson, Danny Glover, Joe Pesci, Joss Ackland, Patsy Kensit
LETHAL WEAPON 3
1992
0
The tough coppers track down a weapons thief.
A sequel too many, its stupidity and sentiment kills it, with the concept now looking dog-eared and forced.
Dir: Richard Donner
Stars: Mel Gibson, Danny Glover, Joe Pesci, Rene Russo
LET’S GET LAID
1977
0
A soldier returning from World War 2 gets involved in murder and mistaken identity.
There are few laughs but some eroticness in this comedy similar in plot to The 39 Steps. And the similarities end there.
Dir: James Kenelm Clarke
Stars: Fiona Richmond, Robin Askwith, Anthony Steel, Graham Stark, Linda Hayden
LET’S GO CRAZY
1951
0
A series of skits, songs and dances in a nightclub.
Shot after Penny Points To Paradise (qv) wrapped early, this is similarly chaotic and tatty filmmaking of historical interest only. The occasional Sellers moment could be extracted and just about still stand up.
Dir: Alan Cullimore
Stars: Peter Sellers, Spike Milligan
LET’S MAKE LOVE
1960
*
A billionaire joins a show to see more of an actress.
Painless comic musical with poor numbers but the star delicious in every frame.
Dir: George Cukor
Stars: Marilyn Monroe, Yves Montand, Tony Randall, Frankie Vaughan, Wilfrid Hyde-White
THE LETTER
1929
*
A letter written by a woman is sought to keep her from prison.
Basic but watchable version of Maugham's excellent book that was fleshed out somewhat 11 years later by Bette Davis and co - her performance was a little more consistent than Eagels'. Some of the Chinese scenes still have a strange, exotic sort of power.
Dir: Jean de Limur
Stars: Jeanne Eagels, Reginald Owen, Herbert Marshall, Irene Browne
THE LETTER
1940
****
A woman murders a man in what she claims is self defence, but a certain letter may prove otherwise.
Perfect slice of Maugham melodrama which grips from the start and never lets go.
Dir: William Wyler
Stars: Bette Davis, Herbert Marshall, James Stephenson, Gale Sondergaard
LETTER FROM AN UNKNOWN WOMAN
1948
***
A woman falls in love with a pianist and is shattered when he later forgets her.
Excellent example of a Hollywood woman's weepy, superbly shot and performed.
Dir: Max Ophuls
Stars: Joan Fontaine, Louis Jordan, Mady Christians
LETTER TO BREZHNEV
1985
*
A Liverpool girl falls in love with a Soviet soldier and writes to the president of the USSR to allow them to be together.
Comic drama of its time (and what a woeful time if this film is to be believed) which has lost some of its sharpness, not to mention relevance.
Dir: Chris Bernard
Stars: Alfred Molina, Peter Firth, Tracy Lea, Alexandra Pigg, Margi Clarke
A LETTER TO THREE WIVES
1949
0
Three women receive a letter from a friend claiming she's run off with one of their husbands.
The dialogue may be very spry but what does it matter when the actual story is completely uninvolving - what even is the story? The three wives, played by unmemorable actresses, are as unsympathetic as the rest of the cast.
Dir: Joseph L Mankiewicz
Stars: Jeanne Crain, Linda Darnell, Ann Sothern, Kirk Douglas, Paul Douglas
LETTERS FROM IWO JIMA
2006
**
The battle of Iwo Jima as told from a Japanese perspective.
The director’s companion piece to Flags Of Our Fathers (qv) is a grittier, more war-torn effort concentrating on the disturbing mindsets of the Japanese soldiers; full of good scenes, the only problem is there’s so much going on with so many similar looking characters over such a long running time that it becomes a little overwhelming.
Dir: Clint Eastwood
Stars: Ken Watanabe, Kazunari Ninomiya, Tsuyoshi Ihara
THE LEVELLING
2016
*
A young woman returns to her father's farm after her brother has died.
Gloomy rural drama, too understated for its own good; there's not a lot that seems worth caring about.
Dir: Hope Dickson Leach
Stars: Ellie Kendrick, David Troughton, Jack Holden
LEVIATHAN
1989
0
Deep sea miners bring back a deadly cargo to their ocean floor base.
Cheesy and derivative, but not a bad scare workout.
Dir: George P Cosmatos
Stars: Peter Weller, Richard Crenna, Amanda Pays, Ernie Hudson
LIAR LIAR
1997
**
A slippery lawyer is forced to tell the truth for 24 hours.
With an idea like this and effervescent Carrey in the lead role, this feel-good comedy can hardly fail to delight and delight it does, despite the odd sentimental lapse or two.
Dir: Tom Shadyac
Stars: Jim Carrey, Maura Tierney, Jennifer Tilly, Amanda Donohoe
LIBELED LADY
1936
*
A newspaperman hatches a plot to stop a socialite from suing them.
This screwball comedy was nominated for Best Picture Oscar in its day; it's unlikely that its kind would be now (which isn't to say it's not a polished, well-played, sophisticated film, although it doesn't really raise any hearty laughs).
Dir: Jack Conway
Stars: William Powell, Myrna Loy, Jean Harlow, Spencer Tracy
LIBERTY
1929
**
Stan and Ollie, on the run from the law, end up atop an unfinished skyscraper.
One of their best silent comedies, with nail-biting Harold Lloyd-style thrills atop a construction site. Dialogue is not missed thanks to the skill of the performers in dealing with a variety of mishaps - including that crab; the final gag is very funny, too.
Dir: Leo McCarey
Stars: Stan Laurel, Oliver Hardy, James Finlayson, Jean Harlow
LAYER CAKE
2004
0
A cocaine dealer about to retire is handed a tough assignment.
Tedious and tiresome combination of hectic plotting and angry people swearing at each other. For that and the violence, it's disgraceful that it was only awarded a 15 certificate.
Dir: Matthew Vaughn
Stars: Daniel Craig, Tom Hardy, Jamie Foreman, Sienna Miller, Michael Gambon
LE MANS '66
2019
**
Underdog Ford takes on Ferrari in the 24-hour race at Le Mans.
A proper man's film, the sort you see less of in this feminised, 'woke' era, it tells a story infused with male obsessiveness, perseverance, dedication and decency, all increasingly disparaged concepts in modern Hollywood (no wonder the bible of the wet, The Guardian, didn't like it). The racing scenes are fantastically shot, too, and the technical stuff only slightly skimped on - petrolheads should be in heaven. Just a wee bit long.
Dir: James Mangold
Stars: Matt Damon, Christian Bale, Jon Bernthal, Caitriona Balfe
THE LEAGUE OF GENTLEMEN
1960
***
A war veteran recruits a group of disgraced colleagues to commit an elaborate bank heist.
A thoroughly English, highly civilised entertainment that develops its narrative with precision and wit; it also acutely captures the feelings of many WW2 veterans at the start of the 1960s, as portrayed here by a host of priceless gentlemen actors. As critic Derek Winnert said, its cool cynicism has kept it fresh.
Dir: Basil Dearden
Stars: Jack Hawkins, Nigel Patrick, Richard Attenborough, Roger Livesey, Bryan Forbes, Kieron Moore, Terence Alexander, Norman Bird, Nanette Newman, Oliver Reed
LEAP OF FAITH
1992
**
A fake faith healer gets stranded in a small town.
A neat little humorous drama on a topical matter, a touch sentimental but with some ingenious demonstrations of fakery.
Dir: Richard Pearce
Stars: Steve Martin, Debra Winger, Lolita Davidovich, Liam Neeson, Meat Loaf, Philip Seymour Hoffman
THE LEATHER BOYS
1964
***
A young husband neglects his wife for a new biker friend.
One of the most interesting of the early Sixties British ‘kitchen sink’ dramas, with a subject matter better dealt with here than before or since – its timing was unexpectedly serendipitous, and it’s resulted in a viewing experience now that is not only riveting but suspenseful right up to the memorable final scenes. It’s not a complete success – the overlapping dialogue more smacks of under-rehearsal than a successful stab at naturalism, and some of the behaviour of Campbell and Tushingham’s characters is rather uneven – but this is easily compensated for by Sutton’s performance, several perfectly pitched scenes and extensive location shooting, including that of the biker mecca, the Ace Cafe in west London. It’s no wonder Morrissey used clips of this film in a Smiths video.
Dir: Sidney J Furie
Stars: Colin Campbell, Dudley Sutton, Rita Tushingham, Gladys Henson
LEATHERFACE: THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE III
1990
0
A Californian couple come up against the family of cannibals.
The weakest of the series so far, it doesn't take the franchise anywhere new or interesting, coming across like a darker, less shocking retread of the original.
Dir: Jeff Burr
Stars: R A Mihailoff, Viggo Mortensen, William Butler
LEAVE ’EM LAUGHING
1928
*
Stan and Ollie visit the dentist, become hysterical due to the laughing gas, then cause traffic chaos.
Episodic short with the funniest scenes coming towards the end, after the gas has been inhaled.
Dir: Clyde Bruckman
Stars: Stan Laurel, Oliver Hardy, Charlie Hall, Edgar Kennedy
LEAVING LAS VEGAS
1995
*
An alcoholic drinking himself to death in Las Vegas shacks up with a glamorous prostitute.
This film captures the grimy buzz of Vegas, and both the leads’ performances are worthy (in an actor-y sort of way) but it’s very downbeat and depressing. Indeed, it’s tough to care much about their characters and also hard to discern much meaning, though presumably there is some; it’s also frequently ruined by Sting’s ghastly warbling on the soundtrack.
Dir: Mike Figgis
Stars: Nicolas Cage, Elisabeth Shue, Julian Sands
THE LEECH WOMAN
1960
0
An unhappy older woman discovers how to become younger, but things go wrong.
Semi-endearing nonsense, choppily structured, a reasonable time-passer for lovers of not very good horror movies.
Dir: Edward Dein
Stars: Coleen Gray, Grant Williams, Phillip Terry
LEFT, RIGHT AND CENTRE
1959
*
Rival candidates at a by-election fall in love.
Pleasant, formulaic comedy for a rainy afternoon.
Dir: Sidney Gilliat
Stars: Ian Carmichael, Alastair Sim, Richard Wattis, Patricia Bredin, Hattie Jacques
THE LEGACY
1978
0
An American couple in England are invited to a big house in the country where there are murderous goings on.
Silly shocker that's a sort of mix of Ten Little Indians and The Omen, what with its occasional inventive killings; it's a bit all over the place but doggedly presses on to its weird conclusion. Perhaps the most memorable death is that of non-actor Daltrey's character, or the swimming pool one.
Dir: Richard Marquand
Stars: Katharine Ross, Sam Elliott, John Standing, Roger Daltrey, Charles Gray
LEGEND
1985
*
A young man battles the Lord Of Darkness to stop him from destroying daylight.
Visually sumptuous fantasy with splendid monsters, let down by an old hat plot and clichéd dialogue.
Dir: Ridley Scott
Stars: Tom Cruise, Mia Sara, Tim Curry
LEGEND
2015
*
Gangsters the Kray twins rule London in the mid-Sixties, but their downfall is coming.
Hardy's impressive pair of performances - along with the technical wizardry that goes with it - are the most successful elements of this unfocused and tonally odd real-life crime drama with a lame title: there are many poor decisions, including giving Nipper Read (Eccleston) so little time yet great prominence to minor figure Frances Shea (Browning), which one suspects was to open the story up and 'feminise' it. The second half is especially baggy, the soundtrack is disappointing, and it'd be cruel to even start discussing the historical inaccuracies; despite all this it remains a watchable picture.
Dir: Brian Helgeland
Stars: Tom Hardy, Emily Browning, Taron Egerton, Christopher Eccleston
THE LEGEND OF HELL HOUSE
1973
*
A group of supernatural experts stay in a haunted house for one week.
Lively chiller with a few frights for those in the mood for them; technically it's adept in every area, perhaps overly so given the silly subject matter. There's no knocking the uncredited cameo.
Dir: John Hough
Stars: Pamela Franklin, Roddy McDowall, Gayle Hunnicutt, Clive Revill, Peter Bowles, Michael Gough
THE LEGEND OF 1900
1998
*
A baby is born on board on ocean liner and remains there his whole life, becoming an accomplished pianist.
The director of Cinema Paradiso didn't achieve quite as much success with this curious English-speaking drama that appears to be more popular overseas than in Britain and the US. 1900's character is curiously underdeveloped - we miss out on a large part of his formative years (at least in the two-hour cut) - and the strong language is mostly incongruous and unwelcome, but it looks handsome and there are nice moments, like the piano duel.
Dir: Giuseppe Tornatore
Stars: Tim Roth, Pruitt Taylor Vince, Bill Nunn
THE LEGEND OF TARZAN
2016
*
Lord Greystoke returns to Africa to tackle a Belgian smuggler.
Moderately successful revision of one of fiction's most perennial heroes, this, predictably, attempts to incorporate 21st century values into Burroughs' old stories and, also predictably, comes with a mass of CGI. It's all watchable enough without being spectacular, and is most comfortable telling a fairly straightforward chase/revenge tale.
Dir: David Yates
Stars: Alexander Skarsgard, Margot Robbie, Samuel L Jackson, Christoph Waltz
THE LEGEND OF THE 7 GOLDEN VAMPIRES
1974
0
Van Helsing helps some kung fu kids battle the vampires who have taken over their village.
Barking Hammer horror that incorporated the kung fu craze of the time, this has a certain something but it's not a quality film: the fights (that aren't convincing) go on for too long and the plot is gout - there weren't enough ideas to sustain it. It is rather one-of-a-kind, though, with colourful visuals and unusual looking vampires with strange gaits, and has its fans; totally different to any other Hammer film, it's a martial arts movie not a horror, with lighting and energy that slightly distinguish it.
Dir: Roy Ward Baker
Stars: Peter Cushing, David Chiang, Julie Ege, James Forbes-Robertson
LEGEND OF THE WEREWOLF
1975
*
A travelling circus in 19th century France unwittingly employs a werewolf.
Likeable low budget horror, absolutely unoriginal but salvaged by a good cast.
Dir: Freddie Francis
Stars: Peter Cushing, Ron Moody, Hugh Griffith, Roy Castle
LEGEND OF THE WITCHES
1970
0
Pseudo-documentary looking at the history of witchcraft in Britain.
A plaintive, dry project with bits of nudity to liven things up - indeed, it was sold on this premise, and a lot of punters must have gone home disappointed. Similarly DVD viewers when it re-emerged from obscurity in the early 2000s.
Dir: Malcolm Leigh
LEMON POPSICLE
1978
0
Three teenage boys in 1950s Israel try to get with girls.
Grotty and joyless Jewish sex comedy with very little plot and an overbearing soundtrack of old Fifties tunes; its international success was mystifying. Muddy picture quality and dire dubbing do it no favours either.
Dir: Boaz Davidson
Stars: Yftach Katzur, Jonathan Sagall, Zachi Noy
LEMONY SNICKET’S A SERIES OF UNFORTUNATE EVENTS
2004
**
Three children who are heirs to a fortune are persecuted by their evil, greedy relative.
Original, charming children's fantasy with stunning art direction and ripe performances, it should sit happily in the Christmas TV schedules for years to come.
Dir: Brad Silberling
Stars: Jim Carrey, Liam Aiken, Emily Browning, Timothy Spall, Billy Connolly, Meryl Streep
LENINGRAD COWBOYS GO AMERICA
1989
*
A group of bizarre Finnish musicians tour America.
A bit like a weirder Spinal Tap with fewer laughs.
Dir: Aki Kaurismaki
Stars: Matti Pellonpaa, Sakke Jarvenpaa
LENNY
1974
***
The heady, troubled life of controversial stand-up comedian Lenny Bruce.
Strikingly shot in monochrome, this compulsive documentary-style biopic has a brilliant, heartfelt performance at its centre.
Dir: Bob Fosse
Stars: Dustin Hoffman, Valerie Perrine, Jan Miner
LEON
1994
**
A 12-year-old girl is taken under the wing of a professional assassin.
Vital, original and engaging thriller, a sort of ultra violent fairy tale.
Dir: Luc Besson
Stars: Jean Reno, Gary Oldman, Natalie Portman, Danny Aiello
THE LEOPARD
1963
*
In the 1860s, Sicilian aristocracy attempts to maintain its eminence.
Sumptuous looking but agonisingly boring costume drama whose last hour is a ball in a stately home, with people saying they are bored. Unless the viewer possesses excellent knowledge of Italian history, or is a weird arty film nut, they will likely feel the same way.
Dir: Luchino Visconti
Stars: Burt Lancaster, Claudia Cardinale, Alain Delon, Paolo Stoppa
THE LEOPARD MAN
1943
**
Murders in a small town may have been committed by a loose leopard.
Quality horror which makes up in memorable scenes for what it lacks in precise plotting.
Dir: Jacques Tourneur
Stars: Dennis O'Keefe, Jean Brooks, Margo, James Bell
LESBIAN VAMPIRE KILLERS
2009
0
Two men go on a hiking trip and run into a bevy of beautiful but deadly vampires.
Moronic horror comedy that has little more ambition than to be a foul-mouthed, paper-thin, totally unfunny spin on a lurid title; the director adds little speeded up bits and different sorts of wipes but all it brings to mind is the phrase ‘You can’t polish a turd’.
Dir: Phil Claydon
Stars: James Corden, Mathew Horne, Paul McGann, MyAnna Buring
LESS THAN ZERO
1987
*
Young adults in LA spiral into drug addiction.
Unconvincing drama based on a much better and more uncompromising book; the acting’s variable, the characters aren’t likeable and the soundtrack is overbearing. American Psycho remains the best film adaptation of Bret Easton Ellis’s work.
Dir: Marek Kanievska
Stars: Andrew McCarthy, Robert Downey Jr, Jami Gertz, James Spader
LET HIM HAVE IT
1991
**
Dramatisation of the real-life case of the hanging of Derek Bentley, convicted of a policeman's murder despite mitigating circumstances.
A film of this startling story simply had to be made, and it would have taken much incompetence not to have presented details like the night of the murder and the subsequent trial as gripping viewing; the rest is solid enough, the general tone a little unambiguous. But its worth was proven by the fact that it kept the case in the public eye and helped get a pardon for Bentley later in the Nineties.
Dir: Peter Medak
Stars: Christopher Eccleston, Paul Reynolds, Tom Courtenay, Eileen Atkins, Michael Gough, Tom Bell
LET IT BE
1970
**
Documentary focusing on the Beatles' recording of what would be their last released album, Let It Be.
Said by some to be depressing, this is actually a fascinating and unique experience, one to be treasured. It's refreshingly free of gimmicks and pretentiousness, and of course the music is peerless. The release of Peter Jackson's mammoth Get Back 'documentary about a documentary' in 2021 threw new focus on it: Jackson's film is truly amazing, with a mass of fascinating details, although it is a little too long, but most importantly it showed these sessions actually had much joy in them; Lindsay-Hogg apparently set out to paint the most miserable picture he could.
Dir: Michael Lindsay-Hogg
Stars: The Beatles
LET ME IN
2010
*
English language version of the story previously told in Let The Right One In (below), with the action now set in New Mexico.
Some adjectives to describe this film: cold, upsetting, unpleasant, moody, dark, slow, understated, well made, well acted, strange. So not dissimilar to Alfredson's movie, but a world away from anything its company, Hammer, used to make in the old days.
Dir: Matt Reeves
Stars: Kodi Smitt-McPhee, Chloe Grace Moretz, Richard Jenkins
LET THE RIGHT ONE IN
2008
**
A bullied 12-year-old boy is drawn to a young androgynous vampire.
Films don’t get much chillier than this intelligent rites-of-passage horror that deeply immerses you in a wintry suburb of Stockholm and brings new ideas to the tired vampire genre; the story is somewhat drawn out but the acting of the young leads is excellent, the cinematography sparkles and it never loses its cool no matter how outrageous the incident.
Dir: Tomas Alfredson
Stars: Kare Hedebrant, Lina Leandersson, Per Ragnar
LETHAL WEAPON
1987
*
A veteran policeman is teamed with a wild young colleague.
Variation on the old cop buddies theme, this rather empty romp was watched by many.
Dir: Richard Donner
Stars: Mel Gibson, Danny Glover, Gary Busey
LETHAL WEAPON 2
1989
**
Riggs and Murtaugh go on the trail of violent South African diplomats.
Unpleasant but undeniably gripping thriller.
Dir: Richard Donner
Stars: Mel Gibson, Danny Glover, Joe Pesci, Joss Ackland, Patsy Kensit
LETHAL WEAPON 3
1992
0
The tough coppers track down a weapons thief.
A sequel too many, its stupidity and sentiment kills it, with the concept now looking dog-eared and forced.
Dir: Richard Donner
Stars: Mel Gibson, Danny Glover, Joe Pesci, Rene Russo
LET’S GET LAID
1977
0
A soldier returning from World War 2 gets involved in murder and mistaken identity.
There are few laughs but some eroticness in this comedy similar in plot to The 39 Steps. And the similarities end there.
Dir: James Kenelm Clarke
Stars: Fiona Richmond, Robin Askwith, Anthony Steel, Graham Stark, Linda Hayden
LET’S GO CRAZY
1951
0
A series of skits, songs and dances in a nightclub.
Shot after Penny Points To Paradise (qv) wrapped early, this is similarly chaotic and tatty filmmaking of historical interest only. The occasional Sellers moment could be extracted and just about still stand up.
Dir: Alan Cullimore
Stars: Peter Sellers, Spike Milligan
LET’S MAKE LOVE
1960
*
A billionaire joins a show to see more of an actress.
Painless comic musical with poor numbers but the star delicious in every frame.
Dir: George Cukor
Stars: Marilyn Monroe, Yves Montand, Tony Randall, Frankie Vaughan, Wilfrid Hyde-White
LET'S SPEND THE NIGHT TOGETHER
1982
*
Documentary showcasing two 1981 live performances of The Rolling Stones in Arizona and New Jersey.
A pretty straight concert film that captures the group if not at their artistic peak then somewhere near the apex of their live career, with Jagger a bendy, hyper-energised monkey man giving it all, solidly backed by his pals. You could quibble over the set list - too many cover versions? - and one or two artistic choices, but it's a fair document, especially for fans. There's no backstage shenanigans or interviews, it's all about the songs, and highlights include Satisfaction, Brown Sugar, Start Me Up and Honky Tonk Women.
Dir: Hal Ashby
THE LETTER
1929
*
A letter written by a woman is sought to keep her from prison.
Basic but watchable version of Maugham's excellent book that was fleshed out somewhat 11 years later by Bette Davis and co - her performance was a little more consistent than Eagels'. Some of the Chinese scenes still have a strange, exotic sort of power.
Dir: Jean de Limur
Stars: Jeanne Eagels, Reginald Owen, Herbert Marshall, Irene Browne
THE LETTER
1940
****
A woman murders a man in what she claims is self defence, but a certain letter may prove otherwise.
Perfect slice of Maugham melodrama which grips from the start and never lets go.
Dir: William Wyler
Stars: Bette Davis, Herbert Marshall, James Stephenson, Gale Sondergaard
LETTER FROM AN UNKNOWN WOMAN
1948
***
A woman falls in love with a pianist and is shattered when he later forgets her.
Excellent example of a Hollywood woman's weepy, superbly shot and performed.
Dir: Max Ophuls
Stars: Joan Fontaine, Louis Jordan, Mady Christians
LETTER TO BREZHNEV
1985
*
A Liverpool girl falls in love with a Soviet soldier and writes to the president of the USSR to allow them to be together.
Comic drama of its time (and what a woeful time if this film is to be believed) which has lost some of its sharpness, not to mention relevance.
Dir: Chris Bernard
Stars: Alfred Molina, Peter Firth, Tracy Lea, Alexandra Pigg, Margi Clarke
A LETTER TO THREE WIVES
1949
0
Three women receive a letter from a friend claiming she's run off with one of their husbands.
The dialogue may be very spry but what does it matter when the actual story is completely uninvolving - what even is the story? The three wives, played by unmemorable actresses, are as unsympathetic as the rest of the cast.
Dir: Joseph L Mankiewicz
Stars: Jeanne Crain, Linda Darnell, Ann Sothern, Kirk Douglas, Paul Douglas
LETTERS FROM IWO JIMA
2006
**
The battle of Iwo Jima as told from a Japanese perspective.
The director’s companion piece to Flags Of Our Fathers (qv) is a grittier, more war-torn effort concentrating on the disturbing mindsets of the Japanese soldiers; full of good scenes, the only problem is there’s so much going on with so many similar looking characters over such a long running time that it becomes a little overwhelming.
Dir: Clint Eastwood
Stars: Ken Watanabe, Kazunari Ninomiya, Tsuyoshi Ihara
THE LEVELLING
2016
*
A young woman returns to her father's farm after her brother has died.
Gloomy rural drama, too understated for its own good; there's not a lot that seems worth caring about.
Dir: Hope Dickson Leach
Stars: Ellie Kendrick, David Troughton, Jack Holden
LEVIATHAN
1989
0
Deep sea miners bring back a deadly cargo to their ocean floor base.
Cheesy and derivative, but not a bad scare workout.
Dir: George P Cosmatos
Stars: Peter Weller, Richard Crenna, Amanda Pays, Ernie Hudson
LIAR LIAR
1997
**
A slippery lawyer is forced to tell the truth for 24 hours.
With an idea like this and effervescent Carrey in the lead role, this feel-good comedy can hardly fail to delight and delight it does, despite the odd sentimental lapse or two.
Dir: Tom Shadyac
Stars: Jim Carrey, Maura Tierney, Jennifer Tilly, Amanda Donohoe
LIBELED LADY
1936
*
A newspaperman hatches a plot to stop a socialite from suing them.
This screwball comedy was nominated for Best Picture Oscar in its day; it's unlikely that its kind would be now (which isn't to say it's not a polished, well-played, sophisticated film, although it doesn't really raise any hearty laughs).
Dir: Jack Conway
Stars: William Powell, Myrna Loy, Jean Harlow, Spencer Tracy
LIBERTY
1929
**
Stan and Ollie, on the run from the law, end up atop an unfinished skyscraper.
One of their best silent comedies, with nail-biting Harold Lloyd-style thrills atop a construction site. Dialogue is not missed thanks to the skill of the performers in dealing with a variety of mishaps - including that crab; the final gag is very funny, too.
Dir: Leo McCarey
Stars: Stan Laurel, Oliver Hardy, James Finlayson, Jean Harlow
LIBIDOMANIA
1979
0
Mondo documentary about sexual perversion, including masochism, bestiality, coprophilia, voyeurism, exhibitionism and more.
Often hilarious stuff, and wonderfully sleazy: obviously staged sequences intermingle with all sorts of crazy footage, sometimes from other movies. Rarely boring (but occasionally so), you could show this to the average person now and their jaw would drop - probably even lower than it would to their equivalent in 1979.
Dir: Bruno MatteiLICENCE TO KILL
1989
**
James Bond gives up his 007 status to pursue the killers of his friend Felix Leiter's wife.
Always remembered as the [15-certificate] film in which Bond went gritty and humourless, viewed now this entry is positively fanciful compared to the grimness of 21st century [12 certificate] action thrillers, including the Daniel Craig Bond movies (here we get Q and his gimmick broomstick, a shark pool and a winking fish). There may be more violence, along with as much swearing as all previous entries combined, but this is a solid, well-plotted thriller whose decision to do something different can now be applauded: Lowell's character is the most active Bond girl yet, Dalton is in a way ahead of his time, and the main criticism would probably be that it's a little lengthy.
Dir: John Glen
Stars: Timothy Dalton, Carey Lowell, Robert Davi, Talisa Soto, David Hedison, Benicio Del Toro, Desmond Llewelyn
LICENSED TO LOVE AND KILL
1979
0
A secret agent battles a mastermind who is replacing world leaders with clones.
The Bond films people could have sued over this but perhaps thought it was too cheap and nasty to bother with. You find yourself pining for just a general level of competence, never mind 007-style fireworks.
Dir: Lindsay Shonteff
Stars: Gareth Hunt, Nick Tate, Geoffrey Keen, Fiona Curzon
1989
**
James Bond gives up his 007 status to pursue the killers of his friend Felix Leiter's wife.
Always remembered as the [15-certificate] film in which Bond went gritty and humourless, viewed now this entry is positively fanciful compared to the grimness of 21st century [12 certificate] action thrillers, including the Daniel Craig Bond movies (here we get Q and his gimmick broomstick, a shark pool and a winking fish). There may be more violence, along with as much swearing as all previous entries combined, but this is a solid, well-plotted thriller whose decision to do something different can now be applauded: Lowell's character is the most active Bond girl yet, Dalton is in a way ahead of his time, and the main criticism would probably be that it's a little lengthy.
Dir: John Glen
Stars: Timothy Dalton, Carey Lowell, Robert Davi, Talisa Soto, David Hedison, Benicio Del Toro, Desmond Llewelyn
LICENSED TO LOVE AND KILL
1979
0
A secret agent battles a mastermind who is replacing world leaders with clones.
The Bond films people could have sued over this but perhaps thought it was too cheap and nasty to bother with. You find yourself pining for just a general level of competence, never mind 007-style fireworks.
Dir: Lindsay Shonteff
Stars: Gareth Hunt, Nick Tate, Geoffrey Keen, Fiona Curzon
LICORICE PIZZA
2021
***
In San Fernando Valley in 1973, a 15-year-old actor falls for a dynamic girl 10 years his senior.
This director's films can never be ignored, and this one is another admirable effort, an unusual drama featuring a kaleidoscope of events about trying to find your way in the world and just happening to have those efforts interspersed with encounters with strange, semi-famous people - larger than life characters make the encounters different and fun, and one is never quite sure where the story will take you next. It also captures the period look with consummate skill, from the cars to the clothes to the behaviour to the whole look - how they did that so well is quite something.
Dir: Paul Thomas Anderson
Stars: Alana Haim, Cooper Hoffman, Sean Penn, Bradley Cooper
LIE WITH ME
2005
0
An emotionally damaged woman lives just for sexual encounters.
The lead actress is stunning - but the film isn't; a single-minded, pretentious and ponderous muse on adult matters. Something must be wrong when by the end you're hoping the main couple, both unbearable in different ways, don't get back together.
Dir: Clement Virgo
Stars: Lauren Lee Smith, Eric Balfour, Polly Shannon
LIEBES LAGER
1976
0
The SS turn a Nazi concentration camp for women into a brothel.
Gloriously tasteless slice of Nazisploitation, in a lighter vein than most of the others, which may actually ensure that it definitely remains persona non grata in polite film society (oh my, the treatment of women in this flick...). Like a lot of its brethren it's a bit too long and rambly. But the finale, with half-naked female prisoners having a gun battle with their captives, is quite something (it's a shame there doesn't appear to be a top quality print around, but at least we have something, considering the movie was considered 'lost' for a while). A direct translation of the title is 'Dear Camp'.
Dir: Lorenzo Gicca Palli
Stars: Karl Koenig, Red Ascott, Ronny Coster
LIES
1984
*
An actress is drawn into a web of mischief in an asylum.
Thriller that's essentially in two halves: the first is slow and creaky, the second suspenseful and coherent, almost entirely set in a hospital.
Dir: Jim Wheat, Ken Wheat
Stars: Ann Dusenberry, Gail Strickland, Bruce Davison
THE LIFE AND DEATH OF COLONEL BLIMP
1943
**
An old soldier recalls his life and loves through a war or three.
A strange film which has gained ever more plaudits over the years – in terms of appearance and performances it is splendid (it’s hard to believe that Livesey was only 36 at the time it was made) but emotionally speaking it’s curiously uninvolving and there are wordy, dry patches.
Dir: Michael Powell, Emeric Pressburger
Stars: Roger Livesey, Anton Walbrook, Deborah Kerr, John Laurie
THE LIFE AND DEATH OF PETER SELLERS
2004
***
The curious existence of the British comedian who became an international star.
A success; a beguiling kaleidoscope which uses all sorts of cinematic tricks and devices, but also benefits from a tremendous lead performance and unnerving accuracy in everything from Sellers' 'look' to the fashions of the time.
Dir: Stephen Hopkins
Stars: Geoffrey Rush, Charlize Theron, Emily Watson, John Lithgow, Miriam Margolyes, Peter Vaughan, Stephen Fry, Alison Steadman
LIFE AT THE TOP
1965
*
In the sequel to Room At The Top (qv), Joe Lampton's marriage falls apart while he remains restless in his career and political life.
The character of Joe Lampton is one of the most sour, disconsolate and dislikeable in modern fiction - wrong-headed, never happy and always snidey - so how the viewer rates this film will depend a lot on how much they can tolerate him. If you can see beyond him there's some fair drama here, along with a commentary on the human condition: how difficult it is to achieve happiness.
Dir: Ted Kotcheff
Stars: Laurence Harvey, Jean Simmons, Honor Blackman, Michael Craig, Donald Wolfit, Robert Morley
LIFE BLOOD
2009 (V)
0
A lesbian couple are turned into vampires by a female god.
Bizarre rubbish that’s a succession of inordinately long, boring and meaningless dialogue sequences, punctuated by absurdities like a deity in a see-through blouse and a midget policeman. It feels like they made it up as they went along, and is mostly torture to watch.
Dir: Ron Carlson
Stars: Sophie Monk, Anya Lahiri, Scout Taylor-Compton
LIFE IN DANGER
1964
0
A village gets frightened when a patient escapes from a nearby mental hospital.
Undramatic second feature with too little of Nesbitt and a fairly guessable twist; it's like an open air, and lesser, An Inspector Calls.
Dir: Terry Bishop
Stars: Derren Nesbitt, Julie Hopkins, Howard Marion-Crawford
LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL
1997
**
A Jewish man and his son are taken to a concentration camp; he tries to alleviate the situation with humour.
Unusual drama open to many interpretations, it eventually succeeds through supreme confidence and its keen portrayal of a child's innocence.
Dir: Roberto Benigni
Stars: Roberto Benigni, Nicoletta Braschi, Giorgio Cantarini
LIFE IS SWEET
1991
***
The lives, loves and despairs of a suburban family.
One of the director's most endearing portraits of English suburbia, full of characters and situations that we can all readily identify with.
Dir: Mike Leigh
Stars: Alison Steadman, Jim Broadbent, Claire Skinner, Jane Horrocks, Stephen Rea, Timothy Spall, David Thewlis
LIFE ITSELF
2014
**
Documentary following the last days of renowned film critic Roger Ebert, and looking back at his illustrious career.
The subject died during the making of this biography, and its concentration on his debilitating cancer turns it into something much more than a simple recounting of his journalism and other exploits; almost everything is of interest, especially the outtakes of Ebert sparring with Siskel and his late-in-life marriage. 'One of the greatest movie critics' may not be much of a label, but it describes the man, and 'thumbs up' is an accurate summation of the film about him.
Dir: Steve James
THE LIFE OF EMILE ZOLA
1937
**
Writer Emile Zola intervenes in the case of a French army captain wrongfully convicted of treason.
Biopic which largely concentrates on the machinations of the historically significant Dreyfus case back at the turn of the century – it has consequently lost some of its power, and cinematically was never quite among the elite. But it’s a decent yarn, well acted.
Dir: William Dieterle
Stars: Paul Muni, Joseph Schildkraut, Gale Sondergaard, Gloria Holden, Donald Crisp
LIFE OF PI
2012
**
An Indian boy survives the shipwreck that kills his parents, but has to cross the ocean in a lifeboat with an adult Bengal tiger.
A film with better visuals than script, based on a surprisingly popular book: the CGI tiger is an incredible creation, demonstrating that cinema can now do pretty much anything, no matter how fantastical - and many of the images are splendid, but the script could raise consternation: is its claim that an outrageous story is valid just because people choose to believe in it a valid sentiment? There are also longeurs, but this is nevertheless a very different, and somewhat original film, that deserved many of its plaudits.
Dir: Ang Lee
Stars: Suraj Sharma, Irrfan Khan, Rafe Spall
LIFE STINKS
1991
0
A rich businessman bets he can live as a vagrant.
More depressing than funny, this grim comedy has Mel Brooks well off target.
Dir: Mel Brooks
Stars: Mel Brooks, Lesley Ann Warren, Jeffrey Tambor
LIFEBOAT
1944
**
Survivors of a torpedoed ship find themselves on a rescue boat with a German naval officer.
As he would in Rope, Dial M For Murder and Rear Window, Hitchcock set himself the demanding challenge of shooting a picture in a severely confined area; the results are mostly a success, with philosophical discussions of Christianity and dark and bold episodes which may have been less convincing in any other director's hands. Acting and photography are strong but it's not as consistently watchable as many of Hitch's other films. His customary appearance is, amusingly, in a slimming ad in a newspaper.
Dir: Alfred Hitchcock
Stars: Tallulah Bankhead, William Bendix, Walter Slezak, Hume Cronyn
LIFEFORCE
1985
0
A spacecraft accidentally brings space vampires to Earth.
Pleasingly absurd sci-fi horror, worth a look for a laugh and a gander at the stunning Mathilda May, gallantly wandering around the movie without a stitch on. The only trouble with it is that it’s such a long and winding tale with a complete absence of humour and risible, inept performances, dialogue and plotting.
Dir: Tobe Hooper
Stars: Steve Railsback, Peter Firth, Frank Finlay, Mathilda May, Patrick Stewart
1981
0
The first cruise ship to Jupiter runs into trouble.
Talkative sci-fi which will bore most due to its failure to break free of its low budget limitations.
Dir: Bruce Bryant
Stars: Joe Penny, Jordan Michaels, Carl Lumbly
THE LIFETAKER
1975
0
A man plots revenge when he catches his wife with a lover.
Arty, obscure thriller not without merit, but it doesn't half take a long time to say not very much. There are just three actors in the entire film.
Dir: Michael Papas
Stars: Terence Morgan, Peter Duncan, Lea Brodie
LIFT TO THE SCAFFOLD
1957
***
A couple having an affair plan to murder her husband and make it look like suicide.
Sharp, twisty suspenser, the better to watch the less you know of the plot.
Dir: Louis Malle
Stars: Jeanne Moreau, Maurice Ronet
THE LIGHTHOUSE
2019
*
Two lighthouse keepers go mad.
Yes, it's the old 'people going crazy in isolation' story again, here with lashings of fantasy, horror and general weirdness. And yes the monochrome cinematography is great blah blah, the acting is too, blah blah, and the director presumably has all sorts of deeper meanings in his mind, but it's not an easy watch: for starters, much of the dialogue, especially Dafoe's, is indecipherable, and how can we care about what's going on when it's so far removed from any sort of normality? Perhaps the definition of arty farty.
Dir: Robert Eggers
Stars: Robert Pattinson, Willem Dafoe
LIKE FATHER, LIKE SON
1988
0
A strange potion causes a doctor and his son to swap bodies.
Virtually identical to the glut of body swap movies around at the time, and no better or worse than the rest of the crop (see also 18 Again and Vice Versa).
Dir: Rod Daniel
Stars: Dudley Moore, Kirk Cameron, Margaret Colin
LIKE STARS ON EARTH
2007
*
A talented young teacher brings out the best in a dyslexic pupil.
A film that is very popular in its native India and thus illustrates the gap between them and the West: this is a hellishly overlong, very syrupy drama that makes unsubtle points, sometimes in song or cartoon. Some sequences retain an appeal but overall, Bollywood can keep it.
Dir: Aamir Khan
Stars: Darsheel Safary, Aamir Khan, Tanay Chheda
THE LIKELY LADS
1976
***
Two Geordie men dissatisfied with their lot struggle to escape their circumstances.
The television series on which this was based survives better in the memory than actually been watched again, largely due to its technical bungles - the big-screen version tidies these annoyances up while broadening the material (and sadly losing the haunting theme tune); the result is a largely warm and witty movie which will mean most to those familiar with the way of life it portrays, or those seeking a way out of it.
Dir: Michael Tuchner
Stars: Rodney Bewes, James Bolam, Brigit Forsyth, Mary Tamm, Alun Armstrong, Vicki Michelle, Penny Irving
LILIES OF THE FIELD
1963
0
An itinerant black man helps some nuns build a chapel.
Anodyne drama which may have been more pointed at the time (because of the racial angle) and more tolerated (because the pace of life was slower back then...), but now comes across as floppy utopian musing chiefly for those who believe in non-existent deities.
Dir: Ralph Nelson
Stars: Sidney Poitier, Lilia Skala, Lisa Mann
THE LIMEHOUSE GOLEM
2017
**
In 19th century London, a number of murders revolve around a music hall.
Fairly enjoyable thriller with all the Victorian London horror trappings present and correct, plus a different idea or two; it moves at a decent pace, flitting between time periods, and while much of the characterisation is a little thin, it's a meaty enough stew.
Dir: Juan Carlos Medina
Stars: Bill Nighy, Olivia Cooke, Douglas Booth, Daniel Mays, Eddie Marsan
LIMIT UP
1990
0
A businesswoman sells her soul to the devil to get ahead.
Noisy comedy in which a finite understanding of the stock market may enhance enjoyment, but then again probably not.
Dir: Richard Martini
Stars: Nancy Allen, Dean Stockwell, Brad Hall, Ray Charles
LIMITLESS
2011
***
A writer is given a pill which allows him to use 100% of his brain and achieve great success.
Zippy thriller which for once doesn’t waste its clever high concept or go down a tediously predictable route, but delivers a refreshing and inspiring yarn that’s full of energy and ideas. Interesting philosophical questions mix with Crank-like quirky asides, and the star is lively and likeable, which is crucial for the film to work.
Dir: Neil Burger
Stars: Bradley Cooper, Robert De Niro, Andrew Howard, Abbie Cornish, Anna Friel
LINCOLN
2012
***
In the latter part of the 19th century, President Abraham Lincoln attempts to end slavery.
Although you approach this with some degree of dread - foreseeing a lengthy, dry and brown biopic about a character you have little interest in - it actually turns out to be the best Spielberg film for several years. Day-Lewis puts in, even by his standards, a remarkable performance and leads an esteemed cast through a surprisingly suspenseful drama that sensibly focuses on a small but salient part of Lincoln's life, complete with a nimble (if dialogue-heavy) script and attention to period detail that includes showing interiors in the very dim light that would have been usual at the time. It proves that politics can make for absorbing viewing.
Dir: Steven Spielberg
Stars: Daniel Day-Lewis, Sally Field, David Strathairn, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, James Spader, Hal Holbrook, Tommy Lee Jones
LINDA
1980
0
A girl is drugged and forced to work as a prostitute at a Spanish hotel.
Franco sleaze fest in which a notable point of interest is that Bienert (Linda) was only 14 at the time of shooting! If it counts for anything, it's the other two, Sheila and Betsy, who flash more flesh.
Dir: Jess Franco
Stars: Katja Bienert, Raquel Evans, Ursula Fellner
THE LINDA McCARTNEY STORY
2000 (TV)
*
The life of American photographer Linda Eastman, who married Beatle Paul McCartney before succumbing to cancer.
TV biopic of a fairly low standard, cheesy and sentimental, but with a decent pair of lead performances - many of the others aren't so clever, just risible impersonations of various rock stars (Piper's John Lennon is particularly bad). It's a curious little film, with just two Beatles songs - background covers of Please Please Me and I Want To Hold Your Hand - and a haphazard back-and-forth-in-time narrative, and slightly endearing despite its obvious deficiencies.
Dir: Armand Mastroianni
Stars: Elizabeth Mitchell, Gary Bakewell, David Lewis, Tim Piper
THE LINK
1983
*
A man has visions of himself slaying women.
Mildly intriguing psycho mystery; a sexy time-waster.
Dir: Alberto De Martino
Stars: Michael Moriarty, Penelope Milford, Cameron Mitchell
LION
2016
***
In India in the mid-Eighties, a young boy becomes separated from his family.
Essentially a film of two halves, the first a vivid, near-wordless odyssey through the chaos of India, the second something of a mystery unthreaded by new technology; both work well, with the director choosing not to get too heavy or complex but instead choosing a sort of dreamlike approach, which possibly even excuses Patel's limited performance. Flaws could be picked but it just tells a good, based-on-truth story and ends, as many such films do nowadays, with (touching) shots of the real people.
Dir: Garth Davis
Stars: Dev Patel, Nicole Kidman, Rooney Mara, Sunny Pawar
THE LION IN WINTER
1968
*
Henry II has an argumentative Christmas with his family.
A sort of medieval soap opera, with nary a pause for breath between regal types yelling at each other - some respite and more historical colour would have been welcome. But this theatrical piece is really all about the acting.
Dir: Anthony Harvey
Stars: Peter O'Toole, Katharine Hepburn, Anthony Hopkins, John Castle, Nigel Terry, Timothy Dalton
THE LION KING
1994
***
Tricked into thinking he has killed his father, a lion club flees his community.
Funny how Disney have regained the ability to make marvellous cartoon features, perfectly mixing humour, pathos and action to please young and old.
Dir: Roger Allers, Rob Minkoff
Voices: Matthew Broderick, James Earl Jones, Jeremy Irons, Whoopi Goldberg, Cheech Marin
THE LION, THE WITCH & THE WARDROBE
1978 (TV)
0
Children discover the magic world of Narnia through their wardrobe.
Slightly flat cartoon version of C S Lewis, not bad for small children.
Dir: Bill Melendez
Voices: Sheila Hancock, Arthur Lowe, Leo McKern, Leslie Phillips, Victor Spinetti, June Whitfield
LIONHEART
1968
0
A boy looks after a lion that has escaped from a circus.
A simple yarn even by CFF standards, with little to get the teeth into. Young star James went on to become a Sky News reporter and committed suicide in 2003 after being found to have faked a news report.
Dir: Michael Forlong
Stars: James Forlong, Pauline Yates, Joe Brown, Wilfrid Brambell, Irene Handl
LIPS OF BLOOD
1975
*
A man is haunted by the memory of a childhood incident when he met a girl in the ruins of a castle – she then comes back into his life.
If you buy into the Rollin universe you’ll have time for this dreamlike, eccentric chiller that’s oddly likeable thanks to its evocation of childhood experiences, casual erotica and ultimately twisty dramatics. There’s some intriguing things going on here but it won’t be for everyone, to say the least - the pace is glacial for starters.
Dir: Jean Rollin
Stars: Jean-Loup Philippe, Annie Belle, Nathalie Perrey
LIQUID SKY
1983
0
Aliens come to Earth to shoot up heroin.
Incoherent, uninteresting, pretentious and foul-mouthed sci-fi, an ordeal from start to finish.
Dir: Slava Tsukerman
Stars: Anne Carlisle, Paula E Sheppard
LISA AND THE DEVIL
1975
0
A lost girl takes refuge in a sinister house and wishes she hadn't.
Inane and perplexing horror, abysmally directed.
Dir: Mario Bava, Alfredo Leone
Stars: Telly Savalas, Elke Sommer, Robert Alda
LISTEN TO BRITAIN
1942
**
Snapshots of British people going about their business in wartime.
A wordless collection of images that was considered ‘film poetry’ at the time; the years have dimmed its potency but there’s still much to admire during its 20m duration (a 17m version excising the verbal introduction was released on DVD in 2005).
Dir: Humphrey Jennings, Stewart McAllister
LISZTOMANIA
1975
0
An eccentric take on the life of Romantic composer Franz Liszt.
This looks like a spoof of a Ken Russell film, not a real Ken Russell film; someone should tell him that just because it's outrageous it's not necessarily not boring.
Dir: Ken Russell
Stars: Roger Daltrey, Paul Nicholas, Ringo Starr, Fiona Lewis
LITTLE BIG MAN
1970
**
An old man looks back on his life as a Red Indian.
Richly rewarding patchwork of comedy and tragedy, fantastically photographed. But what of his later years?
Dir: Arthur Penn
Stars: Dustin Hoffman, Faye Dunaway, Martin Balsam, Richard Mulligan
LITTLE CAESAR
1930
***
An ambitious criminal moves to the city to extend his empire.
Seminal gangster pic, now surpassed in technical terms, but brisk and succinct.
Dir: Mervyn LeRoy
Stars: Edward G Robinson, Douglas Fairbanks Jr, Glenda Farrell
LITTLE DARLINGS
1980
0
Two 15-year-olds at summer camp compete to lose their virginity.
Feeble comedy aimed at the same age group it portrays.
Dir: Ronald F Maxwell
Stars: Tatum O'Neal, Kirsty McNichol, Armand Assante, Matt Dillon
LITTLE DEATHS
2011
0
Three horrific stories with the emphasis on sex and death: House & Home, Mutant Tool and Bitch.
One of the more extreme horror compendiums, and British too, one which could only ever find a very small audience: the first tale is the best, an agreeably EC-pulpy, spiky story with a juicy twist; the second is a bit of a mess, delighting in its repugnancy; the third has promise but is irritatingly shot through a blue filter and offers behaviour which is just too unconventional to stomach. As one of the directors says on the DVD's interesting Making Of, 'We decided to cross the line wherever we felt necessary'.
Dir: Sean Hogan, Andrew Parkinson, Simon Rumley
Stars: Holly Lucas, Christopher Fairbank, Tom Sawyer, Kate Braithwaite
LITTLE DEVILS: THE BIRTH
1993
0
Mini gargoyles spawned by science run riot.
A low-grade B-movie Gremlins that doesn't take itself seriously, thankfully. The first half is general goofing about, the second sees the cheap monsters run amok, all shot on not-so-glorious video (or so it appears).
Dir: George Pavlou
Stars: Russ Tamblyn, Marc Price, Nancy Valen, Stella Stevens
1941
*
In the Deep South, the Hubbard and Giddens families clash in their pursuit of money.
This film could easily be mistaken for one 15-20 years later, such is its technique, but nothing can disguise the fact that it’s adapted from a very wordy play by Stalinist Lillian Hellman, here doing a good impression of Tennessee Williams at his most depressingly nasty, tedious and unsympathetic. The performances are by and large excellent though.
Dir: William Wyler
Stars: Bette Davis, Herbert Marshall, Teresa Wright, Richard Carlson
THE LITTLE GIRL WHO LIVES DOWN THE LANE
1976
0
A small girl in a seaside town has a mysterious secret.
Unexciting melodrama, flatly directed.
Dir: Nicolas Gessner
Stars: Jodie Foster, Martin Sheen, Alexis Smith
LITTLE LORD FAUNTLEROY
1980 (TV)
*
A young American boy turns out to be the heir to a fortune, and goes to live with his cold English grandfather.
Very sweet retelling of the popular story, the epitome of a nice family film that can be especially enjoyed around Christmas. Elements of it may be rather TV movie-ish, but there's no slating the fine cast and the quiet professionalism of it.
Dir: Jack Gold
Stars: Ricky Schroder, Alec Guinness, Eric Porter, Colin Blakely, Connie Booth
LITTLE MEN
2016
*
Two 13-year-olds form a friendship while their parents clash over business.
Slight family drama, not unpleasant, but so underwritten as to be under-affecting; the ending brings the reaction 'oh, is that it?' Nice moments, though, and well acted by the youngsters.
Dir: Ira Sachs
Stars: Greg Kinnear, Jennifer Ehle, Paulina Garcia, Michael Barbieri, Theo Taplitz
THE LITTLE MERMAID
1990
***
A mermaid princess makes a dodgy deal to marry a prince on land.
Delightful animated feature made by experts, with a terrific villainess and uplifting songs.
Dir: Ron Clements, John Musker
Voices: Jodi Benson, Rene Auberjonois, Pat Carroll
LITTLE MISS SUNSHINE
2006
*
A dysfunctional family take a road trip to their little girl's beauty pageant.
Dark and bitter comic drama with dislikeable characters. Anti-authority, anti-American and anti-family of course - and well made, of course.
Dir: Jonathan Dayton, Valerie Faris
Stars: Greg Kinnear, Toni Collette, Alan Arkin, Steve Carell
LITTLE MONSTERS
1989
0
A boy discovers a world of monsters under his bed.
Juvenile fantasy with lively moments.
Dir: Richard Greenberg
Stars: Fred Savage, Howie Mandel, Daniel Stern
THE LITTLE PRINCE
1974
0
A pilot meets a boy who claims he is a prince on another planet.
Torpid musical that's as boring and annoying as the boy in it.
Dir: Stanley Donen
Stars: Steven Warner, Gene Wilder, Joss Ackland, Bob Fosse, Victor Spinetti
THE LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS
1960
*
A flesh-devouring plant commands a nerdy boy to find food for it.
Ramshackle comedy that was shot in a couple of days and looks like it, but generated a keen following thanks to its quirky dialogue, gruesome overtones and assortment of eccentric characters, including a young Nicholson as masochist Wilbur Force.
Dir: Roger Corman
Stars: Jonathan Haze, Mel Welles, Jackie Joseph, Dick Miller, Jack Nicholson
LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS
1987
*
A nerdish florist is helped find romance by a giant flesh-eating plant.
A version of the small-scale off-Broadway musical that was itself an adaptation of the above, this is a curious movie, in its own weird world, with as many imaginative moments as flat ones.
Dir: Frank Oz
Stars: Rick Moranis, Steve Martin, James Belushi, John Candy, Christopher Guest, Bill Murray, Ellen Greene
LITTLE WOMEN
1933
*
The lives of four sisters whose father is away fighting the American Civil War.
It may have been loved for many years, but this is a syrupy drama with characters that are both hard to relate to for the modern viewer (especially in Britain), and also quite indistinct; many of its events seem rather trivial.
Dir: George Cukor
Stars: Katharine Hepburn, Joan Bennett, Paul Lukas, Edna May Oliver
LITTLE WOMEN
2019
**
Little surprise that this should get another outing in this year, but well done it is despite a sometimes confusing narrative structure and unwanted modernisms; warmth both for the material and generated by it comes through and Ronan's performance is vigorous - most of those with affection for the book should be left happy (and sad).
Dir: Greta Gerwig
Stars: Saoirse Ronan, Emma Watson, Florence Pugh, Eliza Scanlen, Laura Dern
LIVE AND LET DIE
1973
*
James Bond is sent to the Caribbean to investigate heroin smuggling.
A new era for the Bond films isn't an especially auspicious one - although the theme tune is one of the very best, the drama isn't so impressive: the majority of the setpieces are half-hearted and sloppy, with the boat chase being a case in point - who wants a stupid redneck Sheriff popping up in the middle of such a sequence? Connery is a hard act to follow but Moore is particularly lightweight here, and he's not helped by a script that is both silly and repetitive and sets that are mostly a fraction of a size as those on, say, You Only Live Twice. Still, there are memorable moments, like Tee Hee and his metal claw, Baron Samedi, the crocodile-jumping and Solitaire's cards.
Dir: Guy Hamilton
Stars: Roger Moore, Yaphet Kotto, Jane Seymour, Julius Harris, Clifton James, Gloria Hendry, Bernard Lee, Lois Maxwell
LIVE FLESH
1997
*
The son of a prostitute goes to jail for paralysing a cop, and when he emerges from jail he starts an affair with the now ex-cop’s wife.
Almodovar’s usual madness, which somehow doesn’t seem overwrought on screen – it may not be one of his very best but its bizarre melange still engages.
Dir: Pedro Almodovar
Stars: Javier Bardem, Francesca Neri, Liberto Rabal, Angela Molina, Penelope Cruz
LIVE FOREVER
2003
0
Documentary on the late '90s British music scene.
An appalling film which does absolutely everything wrong. The approach is stupidly from a political viewpoint which wasn't the ethos of the music at all, the talking heads are ignorant and arrogant, the focus is all wrong and the general effect is to make the viewer get up and leave. The filmmakers should be blacklisted until the end of time.
Dir: John Dower
Stars: Blur, Oasis, Pulp
THE LIVE GHOST
1934
*
Stan and Ollie get roped in to shanghai-ing sailors for a dubious ship.
Slightly forced comedy with good moments, like Ollie running through the closed door without stopping. On the whole though, it proves that more heavily plotted L&H shorts weren't necessarily among their best.
Dir: Charley Rogers
Stars: Stan Laurel, Oliver Hardy, Walter Long, Mae Busch, Charlie Hall
LIVE LIKE A COP DIE LIKE A MAN
1976
0
Two cops take an unconventional approach to apprehending criminals.
Shapeless thriller with little or no cinematic worth; watch the trailer instead, although it's as equally incoherent as the main film.
Dir: Ruggero Deodato
Stars: Marc Porel, Ray Lovelock, Adolfo Celi, Silvia Dionisio
THE LIVES OF A BENGAL LANCER
1935
*
British soldiers in India have trials and tribulations.
Of its time adventure story with plenty to provoke the reactions of a modern audience, including soldiers who are shot at and don’t seem very bothered, to some of the attitudes and Cooper’s usual weird performance, all worried eyes and hammy line delivery. Not bad for those who like this sort of thing.
Dir: Henry Hathaway
Stars: Gary Cooper, Franchot Tone, Richard Cromwell, C Aubrey Smith
THE LIVES OF OTHERS
2006
****
In 1980s East Germany, the authorities seek to monitor a writer they suspect of being untrustworthy.
Supremely effective study of how socialism dehumanises and debilitates individuals, contrasting two men on either side of the divide who eventually become sympathetic to each other despite the destructive force of the state. Made with calm authority and great care, the smaller parts of it matter as much as the broader story, whether they be flashes of humour or horrifying details of how the Stasi operated.
Dir: Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck
Stars: Sebastian Koch, Ulrich Muhe, Martina Gedeck, Ulrich Tukur
LITTLE MEN
2016
*
Two 13-year-olds form a friendship while their parents clash over business.
Slight family drama, not unpleasant, but so underwritten as to be under-affecting; the ending brings the reaction 'oh, is that it?' Nice moments, though, and well acted by the youngsters.
Dir: Ira Sachs
Stars: Greg Kinnear, Jennifer Ehle, Paulina Garcia, Michael Barbieri, Theo Taplitz
THE LITTLE MERMAID
1990
***
A mermaid princess makes a dodgy deal to marry a prince on land.
Delightful animated feature made by experts, with a terrific villainess and uplifting songs.
Dir: Ron Clements, John Musker
Voices: Jodi Benson, Rene Auberjonois, Pat Carroll
LITTLE MISS SUNSHINE
2006
*
A dysfunctional family take a road trip to their little girl's beauty pageant.
Dark and bitter comic drama with dislikeable characters. Anti-authority, anti-American and anti-family of course - and well made, of course.
Dir: Jonathan Dayton, Valerie Faris
Stars: Greg Kinnear, Toni Collette, Alan Arkin, Steve Carell
LITTLE MONSTERS
1989
0
A boy discovers a world of monsters under his bed.
Juvenile fantasy with lively moments.
Dir: Richard Greenberg
Stars: Fred Savage, Howie Mandel, Daniel Stern
THE LITTLE PRINCE
1974
0
A pilot meets a boy who claims he is a prince on another planet.
Torpid musical that's as boring and annoying as the boy in it.
Dir: Stanley Donen
Stars: Steven Warner, Gene Wilder, Joss Ackland, Bob Fosse, Victor Spinetti
THE LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS
1960
*
A flesh-devouring plant commands a nerdy boy to find food for it.
Ramshackle comedy that was shot in a couple of days and looks like it, but generated a keen following thanks to its quirky dialogue, gruesome overtones and assortment of eccentric characters, including a young Nicholson as masochist Wilbur Force.
Dir: Roger Corman
Stars: Jonathan Haze, Mel Welles, Jackie Joseph, Dick Miller, Jack Nicholson
LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS
1987
*
A nerdish florist is helped find romance by a giant flesh-eating plant.
A version of the small-scale off-Broadway musical that was itself an adaptation of the above, this is a curious movie, in its own weird world, with as many imaginative moments as flat ones.
Dir: Frank Oz
Stars: Rick Moranis, Steve Martin, James Belushi, John Candy, Christopher Guest, Bill Murray, Ellen Greene
LITTLE WOMEN
1933
*
The lives of four sisters whose father is away fighting the American Civil War.
It may have been loved for many years, but this is a syrupy drama with characters that are both hard to relate to for the modern viewer (especially in Britain), and also quite indistinct; many of its events seem rather trivial.
Dir: George Cukor
Stars: Katharine Hepburn, Joan Bennett, Paul Lukas, Edna May Oliver
LITTLE WOMEN
2019
**
Little surprise that this should get another outing in this year, but well done it is despite a sometimes confusing narrative structure and unwanted modernisms; warmth both for the material and generated by it comes through and Ronan's performance is vigorous - most of those with affection for the book should be left happy (and sad).
Dir: Greta Gerwig
Stars: Saoirse Ronan, Emma Watson, Florence Pugh, Eliza Scanlen, Laura Dern
LIVE AND LET DIE
1973
*
James Bond is sent to the Caribbean to investigate heroin smuggling.
A new era for the Bond films isn't an especially auspicious one - although the theme tune is one of the very best, the drama isn't so impressive: the majority of the setpieces are half-hearted and sloppy, with the boat chase being a case in point - who wants a stupid redneck Sheriff popping up in the middle of such a sequence? Connery is a hard act to follow but Moore is particularly lightweight here, and he's not helped by a script that is both silly and repetitive and sets that are mostly a fraction of a size as those on, say, You Only Live Twice. Still, there are memorable moments, like Tee Hee and his metal claw, Baron Samedi, the crocodile-jumping and Solitaire's cards.
Dir: Guy Hamilton
Stars: Roger Moore, Yaphet Kotto, Jane Seymour, Julius Harris, Clifton James, Gloria Hendry, Bernard Lee, Lois Maxwell
LIVE FLESH
1997
*
The son of a prostitute goes to jail for paralysing a cop, and when he emerges from jail he starts an affair with the now ex-cop’s wife.
Almodovar’s usual madness, which somehow doesn’t seem overwrought on screen – it may not be one of his very best but its bizarre melange still engages.
Dir: Pedro Almodovar
Stars: Javier Bardem, Francesca Neri, Liberto Rabal, Angela Molina, Penelope Cruz
LIVE FOREVER
2003
0
Documentary on the late '90s British music scene.
An appalling film which does absolutely everything wrong. The approach is stupidly from a political viewpoint which wasn't the ethos of the music at all, the talking heads are ignorant and arrogant, the focus is all wrong and the general effect is to make the viewer get up and leave. The filmmakers should be blacklisted until the end of time.
Dir: John Dower
Stars: Blur, Oasis, Pulp
THE LIVE GHOST
1934
*
Stan and Ollie get roped in to shanghai-ing sailors for a dubious ship.
Slightly forced comedy with good moments, like Ollie running through the closed door without stopping. On the whole though, it proves that more heavily plotted L&H shorts weren't necessarily among their best.
Dir: Charley Rogers
Stars: Stan Laurel, Oliver Hardy, Walter Long, Mae Busch, Charlie Hall
LIVE LIKE A COP DIE LIKE A MAN
1976
0
Two cops take an unconventional approach to apprehending criminals.
Shapeless thriller with little or no cinematic worth; watch the trailer instead, although it's as equally incoherent as the main film.
Dir: Ruggero Deodato
Stars: Marc Porel, Ray Lovelock, Adolfo Celi, Silvia Dionisio
THE LIVES OF A BENGAL LANCER
1935
*
British soldiers in India have trials and tribulations.
Of its time adventure story with plenty to provoke the reactions of a modern audience, including soldiers who are shot at and don’t seem very bothered, to some of the attitudes and Cooper’s usual weird performance, all worried eyes and hammy line delivery. Not bad for those who like this sort of thing.
Dir: Henry Hathaway
Stars: Gary Cooper, Franchot Tone, Richard Cromwell, C Aubrey Smith
THE LIVES OF OTHERS
2006
****
In 1980s East Germany, the authorities seek to monitor a writer they suspect of being untrustworthy.
Supremely effective study of how socialism dehumanises and debilitates individuals, contrasting two men on either side of the divide who eventually become sympathetic to each other despite the destructive force of the state. Made with calm authority and great care, the smaller parts of it matter as much as the broader story, whether they be flashes of humour or horrifying details of how the Stasi operated.
Dir: Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck
Stars: Sebastian Koch, Ulrich Muhe, Martina Gedeck, Ulrich Tukur
LIVING
2022
**
When a civil servant is given a few months to live he embarks on a project to give his life meaning.
A remake of Kurosawa's Ikiru set in 1950s London, this is a success: its recreation of the time and place is adept, Nighy gives one of his better performances (although he's not in it quite as much as you expect), and it manages to be touching without being over-sentimental; only a rather subdued air means it doesn't hit harder. How nice to see the words 'The End' at the end of the picture, a stylisation which has fallen out of fashion.
Dir: Oliver Hermanus
Stars: Bill Nighy, Aimee Lou Wood, Alex Sharp, Adrian RawlinsTHE LIVING DAYLIGHTS
1987
**
James Bond tackles a ruthless arms dealer.
Dalton's first 007 movie was trumpeted as being a back-to-basics entry with fewer gadgets or wisecracks and a stronger storyline. Some of that is true, and there are several splendid set pieces, with the stunt work being especially outstanding and Dalton more than proficient in the role, managing to be both brutal with the baddies and tender with sole love interest d'Abo. Despite its fresh feel it just misses being one of the great Bond films because of a slightly unfocused middle section and a few underwhelming characters, including the main villains. It's blackly amusing now to see the Mujahideen portrayed as heroes.
Dir: John Glen
Stars: Timothy Dalton, Maryam d'Abo, Jeroen Krabbe, Joe Don Baker, John Rhys-Davies, Art Malik, Desmond Llewelyn, Geoffrey Keen
THE LIVING DEAD GIRL
1982
*
A dead girl is brought back to life by toxic chemicals and goes on a killing spree.
One for Rollin aficionados and anyone else who chooses to enter his strange, mad world: typically languid in style, it’s appealingly twisted in his particular manner, and the flashes of extreme gore (although they look fake) robustly puncture the absurd but oddly beguiling dramatics. Definitely one of his better films.
Dir: Jean Rollin
Stars: Marina Pierro, Francoise Blanchard, Mike Marshall
THE LIVING DESERT
1953
**
Documentary about the creatures that live in the US desert.
The most violent U certificate film ever made! While obviously hugely surpassed by nature documentaries in the following decades, David Attenborough's for example, this remains a valiant effort to make an accessible and informative picture about the non-human world, despite obvious trickery. Don't watch it while eating your tea.
Dir: James Algar
Narrator: Winston Hibler
LIVING FREE
1972
*
Joy and George Adamson are forced to move their cubs to a game reserve.
Thin sequel to Born Free (qv) with adorable animals and a few absurdities.
Dir: Jack Couffer
Stars: Nigel Davenport, Susan Hampshire, Geoffrey Keen
A LIZARD IN A WOMAN’S SKIN
1971
0
A woman dreams that she murders her neighbour and then realises it has come true.
Hellishly stretched out giallo that the audience will give up on before its denouement: on the way there are weird, laughable and revolting images (eg the dogs vivisection scene). There are also nods to Hitchcock (particularly The Birds and Vertigo), but this Italian London-shot thriller is nowhere near that class.
Dir: Lucio Fulci
Stars: Florinda Balkan, Stanley Baker, Jean Sorel, Silvia Monti
LO AND BEHOLD, REVERIES OF THE CONNECTED WORLD
2016
**
Documentary about the internet, its history, its proliferation and its possible future.
Stimulating stuff, split into ten bite-sized portions that exhibit variety and eccentricity (some of them could be expanded into their own documentaries); the rambling approach is typical of the luminously intelligent director, whose voice narration is amusing on its own. The subject is so massive it could only hope to scratch the surface, but it's a valuable contribution nonetheless. It's pleasing to spend time with the very brainy, usually good-humoured folk on display, and following cinema screenings in October 2016 there was also a live Q&A with the director.
Dir: Werner Herzog
THE LOBSTER
2015
**
A single man visits a hotel to find a partner; if he fails he will be turned into a lobster in 45 days.
Wonderfully strange fantasy which successfully creates a consistent absurdist universe and wittily comments on our mating rituals, but it goes on for too long: the early hotel-set scenes are best.
Dir: Yorgos Lanthimos
Stars: Colin Farrell, Rachel Weisz, Olivia Colman, Lea Seydoux, Ben Whishaw
LOCAL HERO
1983
**
An American oil company attempts to buy up an entire Scottish village.
Leisurely comic drama which manages to evoke the spirit of old Ealing productions.
Dir: Bill Forsyth
Stars: Burt Lancaster, Peter Riegert, Denis Lawson, Fulton Mackay, Jenny Seagrove
LOCH NESS
1995
*
Scientists journey to Loch Ness to see if the monster really exists.
Old fashioned romantic fantasy that passes the time as long as you're not expecting too much.
Dir: John Henderson
Stars: Ted Danson, Joely Richardson, Ian Holm, Keith Allen
LOCK, STOCK AND TWO SMOKING BARRELS
1998
***
Four London men lose at cards and have to come up with half a million pounds in a week.
A shot in the arm for the British film industry, a twisting, confident thriller made with verve and panache.
Dir: Guy Ritchie
Stars: Jason Flemyng, Dexter Fletcher, Nick Moran, Jason Statham, Vinnie Jones
LOCK UP
1989
0
A vindictive warden makes life hell for one particular prisoner.
Ridiculously plotted star vehicle with sentiment that will make even Stallone fans squirm.
Dir: John Flynn
Stars: Sylvester Stallone, Donald Sutherland, Tom Sizemore
LOCKE
2013
**
A man with work and marital problems drives from Birmingham to London.
Shot on motorways over eight nights, this unique film almost entirely takes place in a car, with only one actor - Hardy - in sight, discussing concrete and his love life on the phone. It could have been deadly but it works, mostly holding the attention, thanks to Hardy's conviction and the gleaming cinematography.
Stars: Steven Knight
Stars: Tom Hardy, Olivia Colman, Ruth Wilson, Andrew Scott
LOCKER SIXTY NINE
1962
0
A crooked businessman is murdered, and the killer could be anyone.
Perfectly competent but off-puttingly plotted Edgar Wallace Mystery, convoluted and business-like, full of faces you half-remember from yesteryear.
Dir: Norman Harrison
Stars: Eddie Byrne, Paul Daneman, Walter Brown, Penelope Horner
THE LODGER
1926
***
A lodger at a London boarding house may be Jack the Ripper.
'The first real Hitchcock film' is full of his brilliantly inventive touches, and still moves at a decent pace.
Dir: Alfred Hitchcock
Stars: Ivor Novello, Marie Ault, Arthur Chesney
THE LODGER
1932
*
Inferior remake of Hitchcock’s film, an early demonstration of the perils of emulating the master. It seems primitive to our eyes now, with its muddy visuals and soundtrack, but there is some fairly fast-cutting which must have made it seem fresh at the time; the main problem is that the story is not developed in a particularly suspenseful fashion, and Novello was far more effective as the lodger when he kept his trap shut. The only surviving version appears to be the US print, titled The Phantom Fiend, which runs for just 67m.
Dir: Maurice Elvey
Stars: Ivor Novello, Elizabeth Allan, AW Baskcomb, Jack Hawkins
THE LODGER
1944
*
This version has flashes of style, but makes the denouement obvious and suffers from historical and geographical anachronisms.
Dir: John Brahm
Stars: Laird Cregar, George Sanders, Merle Oberon, Cedric Hardwicke
THE LODGER
2009
0
In modern-day Hollywood, prostitutes are being brutally murdered.
More of a mess of the story could not have been made. To pick a few random misfires: the dialogue feels recycled, Molina gives his worst ever performance and the nods to Hitchcock are hopelessly self-conscious and pointless. The focus of the script is just all over the place; there are way too many characters.
Dir: David Ondaatje
Stars: Alfred Molina, Hope Davis, Shane West, Donal Logue
LOGAN
2017
**
The man formerly known as Wolverine comes out of 'retirement' to help protect a strange little girl.
Vastly superior to its awful predecessor, The Wolverine (qv), this is one of the better and most mature Marvel superhero films, grittier and more violent than others (which works well enough, but was it really necessary to turn Professor X into a sweary old man and make Logan grumpier than a grizzly with period pains?). A little too long for what's essentially a road/chase movie, it's nevertheless a quality picture, with long, thoughtful sequences punctuated by spectacular slashings and gorings.
Dir: James Mangold
Stars: Hugh Jackman, Patrick Stewart, Dafne Keen, Stephen Merchant, Richard E Grant
LOGAN’S RUN
1976
*
In the future, all people are killed when they get to the age of 30. One man rebels and goes on the run with a female.
Hokey but entertaining sci-fi which raises issues about life and death.
Dir: Michael Anderson
Stars: Michael York, Jenny Agutter, Farrah Fawcett, Peter Ustinov
LOLA
1981
*
A businessman is shocked to discover the woman he loves works in a whorehouse.
Candy coloured remix of The Blue Angel, maturely handled but rather stodgy in places.
Dir: Rainer Werner Fassbinder
Stars: Barbara Sukowa, Armin Mueller-Stahl, Mario Adorf, Matthias Fuchs
LOLITA
1962
****
Humbert Humbert takes a shine to the young daughter of his landlady.
Eminently fascinating adaptation of the compulsive novel, beautifully made, with Mason and Sellers worth the price of admission alone.
Dir: Stanley Kubrick
Stars: James Mason, Shelley Winters, Sue Lyon, Peter Sellers, Lois Maxwell
LOLITA
1997
**
Glossy version of Nabokov, quite witty, compelling and stylish, but giving too little time to the character of Lolita's mother.
Dir: Adrian Lyne
Stars: Jeremy Irons, Melanie Griffith, Frank Langella, Dominique Swain
LONDON
1994
**
Two men meander round London to consider its past, present and future.
Original semi-documentary which marries varied, vivid images with narration that is often pseudy and replete with dated leftisms but generally amusing. Viewed once again in 2020, the politics does indeed seem strident and over-done, but at the same time it makes it more of a time capsule - it's where one section of the left was at this time; and the images seem more valuable than ever.
Dir: Patrick Keiller
Narrator: Paul Scofield
LONDON BELONGS TO ME
1948
*
A young man in suburban London gets mixed up with gangsters.
Vivid drama, technically proficient, set in a united, community-minded London that is now gone forever.
Dir: Sidney Gilliat
Stars: Richard Attenborough, Alastair Sim, Hugh Griffith, Maurice Denham, Fay Compton
LONDON CAN TAKE IT!
1940
***
Short (9m) documentary about the Blitz.
A historically important film, sharply edited and shrewdly structured, that was designed to encourage America to join the war effort; to the modern viewer it vividly shows a way of life they can barely comprehend. The 2007 DVD release also featured the following, related, shorts: The First Days, Neighbours Under Fire, Christmas Under Fire, Ordinary People, London Scrapbook, The Second Battle Of London and Manchester Took It, Too. All capture the genuinely indomitable British spirit that saw us through terrible times.
Dir: Harry Watt
Narrator: Quentin Reynolds
LONDON IN THE RAW
1964
*
Mondo-style documentary looking at the capital’s entertainments as well as its seamy side.
If punters were after a bit of salaciousness here, then they had to sit through a gruesome hair transplant, chubby women exercising, drug addicts and a lengthy tour of different ethnic peoples’ nightspots to get their fun; it seems many of them were happy to do so. In 2009 the BFI did the film more service than it probably deserved with a gorgeously restored DVD that also featured three 1960s ‘London Sketches’: Pub, Chelsea Bridge Boys and Strip, all deeply fascinating artefacts. The follow-up, Primitive London (qv), offers content that’s more diverse and even more delirious.
Dir: Arnold L Miller
Narrator: David Gell
LONDON: THE MODERN BABYLON
2012
0
Documentary about England's capital city as shown through a variety of real-life and movie footage, accompanied by music of different eras.
Pugilistically leftist interpretation of modern history which manages to do down London's successes - its place as the financial centre of Europe, for instance - and glamourises its racial problems, looking through rose-tinted spectacles at a city that has seen millions of its native inhabitants flee in the last 40 years. There isn't a single conservative viewpoint expressed by contemporary interviewees, but then what would you expect when you see who is behind it? It also frequently dips into visual cliche, although it must be said that the assemblage and editing of the footage is impressive.
Dir: Julien Temple
LONDON TO BRIGHTON
2006
***
A prostitute and a young runaway girl make a frantic escape from mobsters in London.
Unrelentingly powerful drama featuring the scum of the earth being vile to each other; excellently made on a low budget, and with scarily good performances (the only unconvincing one is the teenage girl’s), it’s one of the best British films of its year and another reminder that horrible cinema can also be compelling cinema.
Dir: Paul Andrew Williams
Stars: Lorraine Stanley, Georgia Groome, Johnny Harris, Sam Spruell
1987
**
James Bond tackles a ruthless arms dealer.
Dalton's first 007 movie was trumpeted as being a back-to-basics entry with fewer gadgets or wisecracks and a stronger storyline. Some of that is true, and there are several splendid set pieces, with the stunt work being especially outstanding and Dalton more than proficient in the role, managing to be both brutal with the baddies and tender with sole love interest d'Abo. Despite its fresh feel it just misses being one of the great Bond films because of a slightly unfocused middle section and a few underwhelming characters, including the main villains. It's blackly amusing now to see the Mujahideen portrayed as heroes.
Dir: John Glen
Stars: Timothy Dalton, Maryam d'Abo, Jeroen Krabbe, Joe Don Baker, John Rhys-Davies, Art Malik, Desmond Llewelyn, Geoffrey Keen
THE LIVING DEAD AT MANCHESTER MORGUE
1974
*
The dead are brought back to life by chemical pesticides.
Italian-made horror mostly shot in the Peak District, it has a few sequences to induce nightmares but on the whole, it ambles. Much-praised by culty horror-heads, there are effectively gruesome moments in a storyline that can struggle to maintain coherence, with the actor dubbing Lovelock in English quite annoying. The old UK video release was a censored disgrace - in the years after the gore was more usually on show.
Dir: Jorge Grau
Stars: Ray Lovelock, Cristina Galbo, Arthur Kennedy, Aldo Massasso
THE LIVING DEAD GIRL
1982
*
A dead girl is brought back to life by toxic chemicals and goes on a killing spree.
One for Rollin aficionados and anyone else who chooses to enter his strange, mad world: typically languid in style, it’s appealingly twisted in his particular manner, and the flashes of extreme gore (although they look fake) robustly puncture the absurd but oddly beguiling dramatics. Definitely one of his better films.
Dir: Jean Rollin
Stars: Marina Pierro, Francoise Blanchard, Mike Marshall
THE LIVING DESERT
1953
**
Documentary about the creatures that live in the US desert.
The most violent U certificate film ever made! While obviously hugely surpassed by nature documentaries in the following decades, David Attenborough's for example, this remains a valiant effort to make an accessible and informative picture about the non-human world, despite obvious trickery. Don't watch it while eating your tea.
Dir: James Algar
Narrator: Winston Hibler
LIVING FREE
1972
*
Joy and George Adamson are forced to move their cubs to a game reserve.
Thin sequel to Born Free (qv) with adorable animals and a few absurdities.
Dir: Jack Couffer
Stars: Nigel Davenport, Susan Hampshire, Geoffrey Keen
A LIZARD IN A WOMAN’S SKIN
1971
0
A woman dreams that she murders her neighbour and then realises it has come true.
Hellishly stretched out giallo that the audience will give up on before its denouement: on the way there are weird, laughable and revolting images (eg the dogs vivisection scene). There are also nods to Hitchcock (particularly The Birds and Vertigo), but this Italian London-shot thriller is nowhere near that class.
Dir: Lucio Fulci
Stars: Florinda Balkan, Stanley Baker, Jean Sorel, Silvia Monti
LO AND BEHOLD, REVERIES OF THE CONNECTED WORLD
2016
**
Documentary about the internet, its history, its proliferation and its possible future.
Stimulating stuff, split into ten bite-sized portions that exhibit variety and eccentricity (some of them could be expanded into their own documentaries); the rambling approach is typical of the luminously intelligent director, whose voice narration is amusing on its own. The subject is so massive it could only hope to scratch the surface, but it's a valuable contribution nonetheless. It's pleasing to spend time with the very brainy, usually good-humoured folk on display, and following cinema screenings in October 2016 there was also a live Q&A with the director.
Dir: Werner Herzog
THE LOBSTER
2015
**
A single man visits a hotel to find a partner; if he fails he will be turned into a lobster in 45 days.
Wonderfully strange fantasy which successfully creates a consistent absurdist universe and wittily comments on our mating rituals, but it goes on for too long: the early hotel-set scenes are best.
Dir: Yorgos Lanthimos
Stars: Colin Farrell, Rachel Weisz, Olivia Colman, Lea Seydoux, Ben Whishaw
LOCAL HERO
1983
**
An American oil company attempts to buy up an entire Scottish village.
Leisurely comic drama which manages to evoke the spirit of old Ealing productions.
Dir: Bill Forsyth
Stars: Burt Lancaster, Peter Riegert, Denis Lawson, Fulton Mackay, Jenny Seagrove
LOCH NESS
1995
*
Scientists journey to Loch Ness to see if the monster really exists.
Old fashioned romantic fantasy that passes the time as long as you're not expecting too much.
Dir: John Henderson
Stars: Ted Danson, Joely Richardson, Ian Holm, Keith Allen
LOCK, STOCK AND TWO SMOKING BARRELS
1998
***
Four London men lose at cards and have to come up with half a million pounds in a week.
A shot in the arm for the British film industry, a twisting, confident thriller made with verve and panache.
Dir: Guy Ritchie
Stars: Jason Flemyng, Dexter Fletcher, Nick Moran, Jason Statham, Vinnie Jones
LOCK UP
1989
0
A vindictive warden makes life hell for one particular prisoner.
Ridiculously plotted star vehicle with sentiment that will make even Stallone fans squirm.
Dir: John Flynn
Stars: Sylvester Stallone, Donald Sutherland, Tom Sizemore
LOCKE
2013
**
A man with work and marital problems drives from Birmingham to London.
Shot on motorways over eight nights, this unique film almost entirely takes place in a car, with only one actor - Hardy - in sight, discussing concrete and his love life on the phone. It could have been deadly but it works, mostly holding the attention, thanks to Hardy's conviction and the gleaming cinematography.
Stars: Steven Knight
Stars: Tom Hardy, Olivia Colman, Ruth Wilson, Andrew Scott
LOCKER SIXTY NINE
1962
0
A crooked businessman is murdered, and the killer could be anyone.
Perfectly competent but off-puttingly plotted Edgar Wallace Mystery, convoluted and business-like, full of faces you half-remember from yesteryear.
Dir: Norman Harrison
Stars: Eddie Byrne, Paul Daneman, Walter Brown, Penelope Horner
THE LODGER
1926
***
A lodger at a London boarding house may be Jack the Ripper.
'The first real Hitchcock film' is full of his brilliantly inventive touches, and still moves at a decent pace.
Dir: Alfred Hitchcock
Stars: Ivor Novello, Marie Ault, Arthur Chesney
THE LODGER
1932
*
Inferior remake of Hitchcock’s film, an early demonstration of the perils of emulating the master. It seems primitive to our eyes now, with its muddy visuals and soundtrack, but there is some fairly fast-cutting which must have made it seem fresh at the time; the main problem is that the story is not developed in a particularly suspenseful fashion, and Novello was far more effective as the lodger when he kept his trap shut. The only surviving version appears to be the US print, titled The Phantom Fiend, which runs for just 67m.
Dir: Maurice Elvey
Stars: Ivor Novello, Elizabeth Allan, AW Baskcomb, Jack Hawkins
THE LODGER
1944
*
This version has flashes of style, but makes the denouement obvious and suffers from historical and geographical anachronisms.
Dir: John Brahm
Stars: Laird Cregar, George Sanders, Merle Oberon, Cedric Hardwicke
THE LODGER
2009
0
In modern-day Hollywood, prostitutes are being brutally murdered.
More of a mess of the story could not have been made. To pick a few random misfires: the dialogue feels recycled, Molina gives his worst ever performance and the nods to Hitchcock are hopelessly self-conscious and pointless. The focus of the script is just all over the place; there are way too many characters.
Dir: David Ondaatje
Stars: Alfred Molina, Hope Davis, Shane West, Donal Logue
LOGAN
2017
**
The man formerly known as Wolverine comes out of 'retirement' to help protect a strange little girl.
Vastly superior to its awful predecessor, The Wolverine (qv), this is one of the better and most mature Marvel superhero films, grittier and more violent than others (which works well enough, but was it really necessary to turn Professor X into a sweary old man and make Logan grumpier than a grizzly with period pains?). A little too long for what's essentially a road/chase movie, it's nevertheless a quality picture, with long, thoughtful sequences punctuated by spectacular slashings and gorings.
Dir: James Mangold
Stars: Hugh Jackman, Patrick Stewart, Dafne Keen, Stephen Merchant, Richard E Grant
LOGAN’S RUN
1976
*
In the future, all people are killed when they get to the age of 30. One man rebels and goes on the run with a female.
Hokey but entertaining sci-fi which raises issues about life and death.
Dir: Michael Anderson
Stars: Michael York, Jenny Agutter, Farrah Fawcett, Peter Ustinov
LOLA
1961
*
A cabaret dancer and single mother has an eventful love life.
Busy, well shot character drama, hardly the masterwork some pretentious critics like to say it is, but with a sort of natural confidence and an understanding of the impermanence of love and life. Be prepared for a lot of dialogue and, hence, subtitles, if you're not French.
Dir: Jacques Demy
Stars: Anouk Aimee, Marc Michel, Jacques Harden, Alan Scott
LOLA
1981
*
A businessman is shocked to discover the woman he loves works in a whorehouse.
Candy coloured remix of The Blue Angel, maturely handled but rather stodgy in places.
Dir: Rainer Werner Fassbinder
Stars: Barbara Sukowa, Armin Mueller-Stahl, Mario Adorf, Matthias Fuchs
LOLITA
1962
****
Humbert Humbert takes a shine to the young daughter of his landlady.
Eminently fascinating adaptation of the compulsive novel, beautifully made, with Mason and Sellers worth the price of admission alone.
Dir: Stanley Kubrick
Stars: James Mason, Shelley Winters, Sue Lyon, Peter Sellers, Lois Maxwell
LOLITA
1997
**
Glossy version of Nabokov, quite witty, compelling and stylish, but giving too little time to the character of Lolita's mother.
Dir: Adrian Lyne
Stars: Jeremy Irons, Melanie Griffith, Frank Langella, Dominique Swain
LONDON
1994
**
Two men meander round London to consider its past, present and future.
Original semi-documentary which marries varied, vivid images with narration that is often pseudy and replete with dated leftisms but generally amusing. Viewed once again in 2020, the politics does indeed seem strident and over-done, but at the same time it makes it more of a time capsule - it's where one section of the left was at this time; and the images seem more valuable than ever.
Dir: Patrick Keiller
Narrator: Paul Scofield
LONDON BELONGS TO ME
1948
*
A young man in suburban London gets mixed up with gangsters.
Vivid drama, technically proficient, set in a united, community-minded London that is now gone forever.
Dir: Sidney Gilliat
Stars: Richard Attenborough, Alastair Sim, Hugh Griffith, Maurice Denham, Fay Compton
LONDON CAN TAKE IT!
1940
***
Short (9m) documentary about the Blitz.
A historically important film, sharply edited and shrewdly structured, that was designed to encourage America to join the war effort; to the modern viewer it vividly shows a way of life they can barely comprehend. The 2007 DVD release also featured the following, related, shorts: The First Days, Neighbours Under Fire, Christmas Under Fire, Ordinary People, London Scrapbook, The Second Battle Of London and Manchester Took It, Too. All capture the genuinely indomitable British spirit that saw us through terrible times.
Dir: Harry Watt
Narrator: Quentin Reynolds
LONDON IN THE RAW
1964
*
Mondo-style documentary looking at the capital’s entertainments as well as its seamy side.
If punters were after a bit of salaciousness here, then they had to sit through a gruesome hair transplant, chubby women exercising, drug addicts and a lengthy tour of different ethnic peoples’ nightspots to get their fun; it seems many of them were happy to do so. In 2009 the BFI did the film more service than it probably deserved with a gorgeously restored DVD that also featured three 1960s ‘London Sketches’: Pub, Chelsea Bridge Boys and Strip, all deeply fascinating artefacts. The follow-up, Primitive London (qv), offers content that’s more diverse and even more delirious.
Dir: Arnold L Miller
Narrator: David Gell
THE LONDON NOBODY KNOWS
1967
**
Documentary looking at obscure nooks and crannies of the capital.
An engaging and unusual film featuring Salvation Army hostels, buskers, street markets, closed down theatres, meths addicts, eel cafes and surreal comic interludes like a firm that specialises in crushing eggs - it almost has a bit of a 'mondo' vibe to it (the director previously had something to do with London In The Raw (qv)). Cataloguing things that were fading then and have gone altogether now, it's a valuable piece of work which one wishes was half an hour longer, which would have been feature-length. Mason's the ideal host, but it's the imagery that really shines.
Dir: Norman Cohen
Stars: James Mason
LONDON: THE MODERN BABYLON
2012
0
Documentary about England's capital city as shown through a variety of real-life and movie footage, accompanied by music of different eras.
Pugilistically leftist interpretation of modern history which manages to do down London's successes - its place as the financial centre of Europe, for instance - and glamourises its racial problems, looking through rose-tinted spectacles at a city that has seen millions of its native inhabitants flee in the last 40 years. There isn't a single conservative viewpoint expressed by contemporary interviewees, but then what would you expect when you see who is behind it? It also frequently dips into visual cliche, although it must be said that the assemblage and editing of the footage is impressive.
Dir: Julien Temple
LONDON TO BRIGHTON
2006
***
A prostitute and a young runaway girl make a frantic escape from mobsters in London.
Unrelentingly powerful drama featuring the scum of the earth being vile to each other; excellently made on a low budget, and with scarily good performances (the only unconvincing one is the teenage girl’s), it’s one of the best British films of its year and another reminder that horrible cinema can also be compelling cinema.
Dir: Paul Andrew Williams
Stars: Lorraine Stanley, Georgia Groome, Johnny Harris, Sam Spruell
LONE STAR
1996
0
A Sheriff finds the skeleton of his murdered predecessor.
It's like the director felt like he was making his own Robert Altman sort of movie, and many think he achieved such heights, but to some of us this is a rambling, unfocused and boring drama with the sort of tiresome racial politics that America has come to specialise in, and with way too many characters. Its most engaging element, the murder, intermittently fades in and out. The segues between eras may be cleverly done but the two time zones don't actually feel all that different.
Dir: John Sayles
Stars: Chris Cooper, Elizabeth Pena, Stephen Mendillo, Matthew McConaughey, KristoffersonTHE LONELINESS OF THE LONG-DISTANCE RUNNER
1962
**
A young criminal finds redemption through cross country running.
Valuable opening up of a short book by an eloquent working class author, with a rare, extremely vivid quality.
Dir: Tony Richardson
Stars: Tom Courtenay, Michael Redgrave, Alec McCowen, James Bolam
THE LONG AND THE SHORT AND THE TALL
1961
*
A group of soldiers in a Far East jungle in World War 2 disagree over what to do with a POW.
Unsympathetic war drama featuring a cantankerous bunch of ill-disciplined soldiers dominated by Harvey, here even more obnoxious than usual and exhibiting the strangest of accents. Largely character-based, it’s a little tough to get through nowadays, and the final scenes of actual combat come as much-needed relief.
Dir: Leslie Norman
Stars: Richard Todd, Laurence Harvey, Richard Harris, Ronald Fraser, David McCallum
THE LONG DAY CLOSES
1992
**
A boy grows up in 1950s Liverpool surrounded by his large family.
A director’s personal remembrances made flesh by highly proficient cinematography and set design, this plotless, stylised film evokes many moods and, for some, remembrances of details of the past, but does not create a single warm, sympathetic character. It is to be appreciated rather than enjoyed.
Dir: Terence Davies
Stars: Leigh McCormack, Marjorie Yates, Anthony Watson
THE LONG GOOD FRIDAY
1980
***
A businessman gangster has his plans derailed by a series of unexpected events.
A thriller that sits between two eras of Britain and two eras of filmmaking – its plot remembers the past but looks to a more hectic future of terrorism and money-making, and film-wise it harks back to old gangster movies and hints at the mania and verbal and physical violence of a future featuring Sexy Beast and Guy Ritchie. Moderately paced with bursts of activity, it contains much footage of the London landscape of the time, thankfully mainly shot in daylight. It almost appears to be a lucky accident by the director, who has showed little similar inspiration in his work since.
Dir: John Mackenzie
Stars: Bob Hoskins, Helen Mirren, Dave King, Bryan Marshall, Eddie Constantine, Pierce Brosnan
LONG TIME DEAD
2001
0
Teenagers live to regret experimenting with a ouija board.
Humourless, clichéd horror which demonstrates why it's rarely a good idea to make a film peopled by youths.
Dir: Marcus Adams
Stars: Joe Absolom, Lukas Haas, Lara Belmont, Tom Bell
THE LONG VOYAGE HOME
1940
*
A group of sailors have various adventures in the Atlantic in the early days of World War Two.
Strikingly shot, episodic seafaring drama which isn't overly likeable but features some good ensemble performances, with the exception of a bizarrely miscast John Wayne, who also does not deserve top billing. A quality film, but a sometimes languorous one.
Dir: John Ford
Stars: Thomas Mitchell, Ian Hunter, Barry Fitzgerald, John Wayne, Wilfrid Lawson
THE LONGEST DAY
1962
****
The story of the Allied landings at Normandy in June 1944.
A hugely ambitious film and one which succeeds in its intentions admirably, telling with cold-eyed precision the tale of D-Day from different sides. The photography and re-enactments are stunning - when the battles come they are nothing less than breathtaking - while it's a relief that there's no time for sentiment, and the fact that stars play most of the parts gives it a deeper measure of quality; a model war movie.
Dir: Ken Annakin, Andrew Marton, Bernhard Wicki
Stars: Robert Mitchum, John Wayne, Henry Fonda, Richard Burton, Red Buttons, Sean Connery, Fabian, Gert Frobe, Donald Houston, Curt Jurgens, Peter Lawford, Kenneth More, George Segal, Robert Wagner
THE LONGEST YARD
1974
*
A former pro quarterback in jail is pressurised into setting up a football team.
A real alpha male of a movie, with harsh language and disturbing violence, it portrays irresponsible power backed up by brutality, and it's not a happy thing; its humour certainly won't be for everyone and nor will the lengthy climactic American football game, which is almost as unfathomable and unattractive as it is in real life. It was renamed The Mean Machine in the UK and remade under that title (minus the 'the').
Dir: Robert Aldrich
Stars: Burt Reynolds, Eddie Albert, Ed Lauter, Michael Conrad
LOOK BACK IN ANGER
1959
**
A man drives his wife away but her best friend stays with him.
Some aspects of this influential picture now resonate a good deal less than they once did but parts of it still do, and Burton’s performance is among his strongest; his character may be largely dislikeable but the film’s use of dingy bedsits, old market stalls and foggy railway stations give the film a warmish charm that it didn’t have at the time.
Dir: Tony Richardson
Stars: Richard Burton, Claire Bloom, Mary Ure, Gary Raymond, Donald Pleasence
THE LOOK OF LOVE
2013
***
The life of Paul Raymond, who became one of the richest men in Britain thanks to his empire built on strip clubs and erotic magazines.
Coogan is terrific as the fascinating entrepreneur who helped make the UK a more sexually liberated place, and he's backed by a great cast that includes several well-known comedy names. While the film lacks a bit of dramatic thrust it's a pleasing, accessible look at rise and fall which thankfully doesn't wag the finger too much, has lots of witty lines (Coogan's doing?) and successfully recreates the thrills of life in Soho through the different decades. Some critics said it had little point, but perhaps the sad point it makes is that all things and all people eventually falter and die.
Dir: Michael Winterbottom
Stars: Steve Coogan, Imogen Poots, Anna Friel, Tamsin Egerton, Chris Addison
LOOK UP AND LAUGH
1935
*
A plucky woman puts a stop to a department store taking the place of a local market.
The female star never had any qualms about humiliating herself in the name of her art, and the punters of the time loved her for it - nowadays we giggle at her barmy, wacky antics in a slightly different manner to our ancestors. This vehicle is among her most irrepressibly cheerful and boasts a particularly jolly title track.
Dir: Basil Dean
Stars: Gracie Fields, Douglas Wakefield, Harry Tate, Vivien Leigh
LOOK WHO’S TALKING
1989
*
A single mum's baby has a peculiarly developed young mind.
The novelty of this thin comedy is that we hear the baby's thoughts (Willis), and very near a one-joke film it is, but there are bright moments.
Dir: Amy Heckerling
Stars: John Travolta, Kirstie Alley, Bruce Willis, George Segal
LOOKER
1981
*
A plastic surgeon investigates the strange deaths of beautiful models.
Giddy sci-fi with some superficial appeal.
Dir: Michael Crichton
Stars: Albert Finney, James Coburn, Susan Dey
LOOKING FOR ERIC
2009
*
A man down on his luck in life imagines advice from ex-Manchester United footballer Eric Cantona to put him right.
By this director's standards a 'feel good' movie, but still one with much grimness among the moderate amounts of humour - it says something about the difficulty of living a happy life in the second half of your existence, but it's overlong and too often feels underwritten and under-rehearsed, a mass of swear words attempting to mask both. Cantona is not a good as actor as he was a footballer but his bits have a certain piquancy (including footage of his on-pitch efforts).
Dir: Ken Loach
Stars: Steve Evets, Eric Cantona, Stephanie Bishop
LOONEY TUNES: BACK IN ACTION
2003
*
Daffy Duck quits Hollywood and travels round the world.
Slight semi-animated knockabout with some fun to be had, but no Roger Rabbit. Poor title too.
Dir: Joe Dante
Stars: Brendan Fraser, Jenna Elfman, Steve Martin, Timothy Dalton, Heather Locklear
LOOPER
2012
**
In the 2040s, 'loopers' are employed to kill victims of criminals sent back from the future; they also have to kill their future selves, which gives one looper several problems.
Impressive sci-fi thriller which provides some meaty food for thought and a few exciting action set-pieces even though it probably doesn't make complete sense, as time travel movies rarely do; but the second half goes in interesting directions you don't expect and there are many clever touches. It's also an example of a film in which the baddies can't shoot for toffee.
Dir: Rian Johnson
Stars: Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Bruce Willis, Emily Blunt, Jeff Daniels
LOOT
1970
0
Bank robbers hide the loot in a funeral parlour.
This black comedy isn't as shocking as it once was and its frantic nature soon becomes tiring.
Dir: Silvio Narizzano
Stars: Richard Attenborough, Lee Remick, Hywel Bennett, Milo O'Shea
LORD CAMBER’S LADIES
1932
*
A philandering Lord has plans for his sick wife.
The only film that Alfred Hitchcock produced but didn’t direct (and it was this director’s only film, although he was mainly a scriptwriter, including for Blackmail and The Old Dark House) is a creaky but likeable drama which shows very few signs that the master had anything to do with it on the floor. It’s a slight tale with a particularly slow and shaky start, there’s no suspense and it doesn’t demonstrate Hitch’s maxim that plot points should be shown rather than talked about, but after it’s finally cranked into gear it provides the odd archaic pleasure (Bruce is usually watchable).
Dir: Benn W Levy
Stars: Nigel Bruce, Gerald Du Maurier, Gertrude Lawrence, Benita Hume
LORD OF THE FLIES
1990
0
American academy boys are stranded on an island and turn violent.
A modernised and Americanised version in which many of the book's subtleties are forgotten.
Dir: Harry Hook
Stars: Balthazar Getty, Chris Furrh, Danuel Pipoly
LORD OF THE RINGS
1978
*
The Fellowship of the Ring embark on a journey to end Sauron's reign over Middle Earth.
Animated attempt to wrestle the epic to the ground, this may bite off more than it can chew but goes down fighting; especially successful are the sequences using cartoon versions of real people.
Dir: Ralph Bakshi
Voices: Christopher Guard, William Squire, John Hurt
THE LORD OF THE RINGS: THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING
2001
**
A Hobbit named Frodo embarks on an epic quest to save his world.
The first part of Jackson's trilogy sets the scene for the rest and while many relished the CGI-inspired spectacle there was a whole other band of folk who just couldn't connect with lengthy goings on in a non-existent fantasy land. Being an adherent of the original books helps considerably.
Dir: Peter Jackson
Stars: Elijah Wood, Orlando Bloom, Cate Blanchett, Ian McKellen, Liv Tyler, Viggo Mortensen, Ian Holm, Christopher Lee, Sean Bean
THE LORD OF THE RINGS: THE TWO TOWERS
2002
**
Frodo and Sam continue their trek to destroy the One Ring.
Considered the weakest of the three, this is still a great achievement in many ways, but tends to define the phrase 'long-winded'.
Dir: Peter Jackson
Stars: Elijah Wood, Liv Tyler, Orlando Bloom, Cate Blanchett, Ian McKellen, Viggo Mortensen, Ian Holm, Christopher Lee, Brad Dourif
THE LORD OF THE RINGS: THE RETURN OF THE KING
2003
**
The final battle for Middle Earth approaches.
The wrap-up: interesting, meaningful themes mix with awesome battle action and stunning special effects.
Dir: Peter Jackson
Stars: Elijah Wood, Orlando Bloom, Cate Blanchett, Ian McKellen, Viggo Mortensen, Ian Holm, Sean Bean
LOST
1955
*
A small baby mysteriously goes missing from its nanny's care in central London.
Fairly basic drama enhanced by extensive location filming showing a beautiful London that has now tragically disappeared. And it'd be even better if the leading lady didn't have such an irritating voice.
Dir: Guy Green
Stars: David Farrar, David Knight, Julia Arnall, Thora Hird
THE LOST BOYS
1987
**
Two brothers move to a new town to discover it is full of vampires.
Popular and influential comedy horror that hasn’t aged all that well – the visuals look murky and the pop songs are irksome – but has a distinct energy and personality.
Dir: Joel Schumacher
Stars: Jason Patric, Corey Haim, Dianne Wiest, Kiefer Sutherland, Corey Feldman
LOST BOYS: THE TRIBE
2008 (V)
0
A brother and sister fall in with vampires.
Awful sequel, an uncoordinated mess in need of script and performance resuscitation.
Dir: PJ Pesce
Stars: Tad Hilgenbrink, Angus Sutherland, Autumn Reeser, Corey Feldman
THE LOST CONTINENT
1968
0
A ship ends up in a land full of giant crabs and man-eating seaweed.
Demented adventure yarn that starts like an overheated soap opera with lots of angry people shouting at each other, then later becomes a very strange ‘lost world’ movie with crazy monsters and a religious tribe causing trouble. Given an X certificate on original release, one wonders whether Hammer got it horribly wrong about who they were trying to appeal to.
Dir: Michael Carreras
Stars: Eric Porter, Suzanna Leigh, Nigel Stock, Michael Ripper
LOST HORIZON
1937
***
A plane crash delivers a group of people to a land that may be utopia.
Charming vision of peace and harmony that stands among Capra's finest pictures. Much re-cut from its original length, in 1979 it was completely restored.
Dir: Frank Capra
Stars: Ronald Colman, Jane Wyatt, Edward Everett Horton, John Howard
LOST HORIZON
1972
0
Indigestible remake which was surely doomed from the start, especially with its array of mediocre songs.
Dir: Charles Jarrott
Stars: Peter Finch, Liv Ullmann, George Kennedy, Michael York, Olivia Hussey, John Gielgud
LOST IN TRANSLATION
2003
**
A weary, ageing actor spends a week in a Tokyo hotel where he meets a disenchanted American newlywed.
A Marmite movie, with its lovers and haters, this is a curious, undernourished piece that wants you to think it’s saying more than it actually is, probably. Nothing is for sure, though, including Murray’s performance, if that’s what it can be termed as, and this extends to Johansson, who may or may not be acting well also. What is beyond question is that the night-time shots of Tokyo’s steel and glass gleam and the feeling of alienation and disconnectedness is successfully conveyed, although it may take time to fully appreciate this.
Dir: Sofia Coppola
Stars: Bill Murray, Scarlet Johansson, Giovanni Ribisi, Anna Faris
1962
**
A young criminal finds redemption through cross country running.
Valuable opening up of a short book by an eloquent working class author, with a rare, extremely vivid quality.
Dir: Tony Richardson
Stars: Tom Courtenay, Michael Redgrave, Alec McCowen, James Bolam
THE LONG AND THE SHORT AND THE TALL
1961
*
A group of soldiers in a Far East jungle in World War 2 disagree over what to do with a POW.
Unsympathetic war drama featuring a cantankerous bunch of ill-disciplined soldiers dominated by Harvey, here even more obnoxious than usual and exhibiting the strangest of accents. Largely character-based, it’s a little tough to get through nowadays, and the final scenes of actual combat come as much-needed relief.
Dir: Leslie Norman
Stars: Richard Todd, Laurence Harvey, Richard Harris, Ronald Fraser, David McCallum
THE LONG DAY CLOSES
1992
**
A boy grows up in 1950s Liverpool surrounded by his large family.
A director’s personal remembrances made flesh by highly proficient cinematography and set design, this plotless, stylised film evokes many moods and, for some, remembrances of details of the past, but does not create a single warm, sympathetic character. It is to be appreciated rather than enjoyed.
Dir: Terence Davies
Stars: Leigh McCormack, Marjorie Yates, Anthony Watson
THE LONG GOOD FRIDAY
1980
***
A businessman gangster has his plans derailed by a series of unexpected events.
A thriller that sits between two eras of Britain and two eras of filmmaking – its plot remembers the past but looks to a more hectic future of terrorism and money-making, and film-wise it harks back to old gangster movies and hints at the mania and verbal and physical violence of a future featuring Sexy Beast and Guy Ritchie. Moderately paced with bursts of activity, it contains much footage of the London landscape of the time, thankfully mainly shot in daylight. It almost appears to be a lucky accident by the director, who has showed little similar inspiration in his work since.
Dir: John Mackenzie
Stars: Bob Hoskins, Helen Mirren, Dave King, Bryan Marshall, Eddie Constantine, Pierce Brosnan
THE LONG GOODBYE
1973
***
PI Philip Marlowe helps a friend out but is then drawn into trouble when it turns out the friend's wife has been killed.
Altman stamps his movie personality all over this adaptation of Chandler's work, and it's pretty much a success: what's in the frame is always interesting; the characters, both major and minor, are distinctive; and the twisty story throws up many quirky, memorable incidents, including the smashed bottle (which is truly shocking), Marlowe's neighbours' yoga, the gangster ordering the strip and the slapping doctor who wants his money. Even Marlowe's apartment stands out, and his interactions with his cat are fun - it's the little details that make this film, all while it's cloaked in the heavy, heady atmosphere of an LA spiralling out of control. As good as Chinatown?
Dir: Robert Altman
Stars: Elliott Gould, Nina van Pallandt, Sterling Hayden, Mark Rydell
LONG TIME DEAD
2001
0
Teenagers live to regret experimenting with a ouija board.
Humourless, clichéd horror which demonstrates why it's rarely a good idea to make a film peopled by youths.
Dir: Marcus Adams
Stars: Joe Absolom, Lukas Haas, Lara Belmont, Tom Bell
THE LONG VOYAGE HOME
1940
*
A group of sailors have various adventures in the Atlantic in the early days of World War Two.
Strikingly shot, episodic seafaring drama which isn't overly likeable but features some good ensemble performances, with the exception of a bizarrely miscast John Wayne, who also does not deserve top billing. A quality film, but a sometimes languorous one.
Dir: John Ford
Stars: Thomas Mitchell, Ian Hunter, Barry Fitzgerald, John Wayne, Wilfrid Lawson
LONG WEEKEND
1978
*
A suburban couple go to a remote beach for the weekend, but upset nature...
Unsettling, deliberately paced allegorical drama suggesting that humans (especially Australians) are intruders on the land. Just a bit too long for its content, slightly monotonous, and not peopled by an especially sympathetic pair (presumably deliberately), it is still well made and shot, with the scenes of nature biting back having impact. Its creepy atmosphere may repel as many as it attracts.
Dir: Colin Eggleston
Stars: John Hargreaves, Briony Behets
THE LONGEST DAY
1962
****
The story of the Allied landings at Normandy in June 1944.
A hugely ambitious film and one which succeeds in its intentions admirably, telling with cold-eyed precision the tale of D-Day from different sides. The photography and re-enactments are stunning - when the battles come they are nothing less than breathtaking - while it's a relief that there's no time for sentiment, and the fact that stars play most of the parts gives it a deeper measure of quality; a model war movie.
Dir: Ken Annakin, Andrew Marton, Bernhard Wicki
Stars: Robert Mitchum, John Wayne, Henry Fonda, Richard Burton, Red Buttons, Sean Connery, Fabian, Gert Frobe, Donald Houston, Curt Jurgens, Peter Lawford, Kenneth More, George Segal, Robert Wagner
THE LONGEST YARD
1974
*
A former pro quarterback in jail is pressurised into setting up a football team.
A real alpha male of a movie, with harsh language and disturbing violence, it portrays irresponsible power backed up by brutality, and it's not a happy thing; its humour certainly won't be for everyone and nor will the lengthy climactic American football game, which is almost as unfathomable and unattractive as it is in real life. It was renamed The Mean Machine in the UK and remade under that title (minus the 'the').
Dir: Robert Aldrich
Stars: Burt Reynolds, Eddie Albert, Ed Lauter, Michael Conrad
LOOK BACK IN ANGER
1959
**
A man drives his wife away but her best friend stays with him.
Some aspects of this influential picture now resonate a good deal less than they once did but parts of it still do, and Burton’s performance is among his strongest; his character may be largely dislikeable but the film’s use of dingy bedsits, old market stalls and foggy railway stations give the film a warmish charm that it didn’t have at the time.
Dir: Tony Richardson
Stars: Richard Burton, Claire Bloom, Mary Ure, Gary Raymond, Donald Pleasence
THE LOOK OF LOVE
2013
***
The life of Paul Raymond, who became one of the richest men in Britain thanks to his empire built on strip clubs and erotic magazines.
Coogan is terrific as the fascinating entrepreneur who helped make the UK a more sexually liberated place, and he's backed by a great cast that includes several well-known comedy names. While the film lacks a bit of dramatic thrust it's a pleasing, accessible look at rise and fall which thankfully doesn't wag the finger too much, has lots of witty lines (Coogan's doing?) and successfully recreates the thrills of life in Soho through the different decades. Some critics said it had little point, but perhaps the sad point it makes is that all things and all people eventually falter and die.
Dir: Michael Winterbottom
Stars: Steve Coogan, Imogen Poots, Anna Friel, Tamsin Egerton, Chris Addison
LOOK UP AND LAUGH
1935
*
A plucky woman puts a stop to a department store taking the place of a local market.
The female star never had any qualms about humiliating herself in the name of her art, and the punters of the time loved her for it - nowadays we giggle at her barmy, wacky antics in a slightly different manner to our ancestors. This vehicle is among her most irrepressibly cheerful and boasts a particularly jolly title track.
Dir: Basil Dean
Stars: Gracie Fields, Douglas Wakefield, Harry Tate, Vivien Leigh
LOOK WHO’S TALKING
1989
*
A single mum's baby has a peculiarly developed young mind.
The novelty of this thin comedy is that we hear the baby's thoughts (Willis), and very near a one-joke film it is, but there are bright moments.
Dir: Amy Heckerling
Stars: John Travolta, Kirstie Alley, Bruce Willis, George Segal
LOOKER
1981
*
A plastic surgeon investigates the strange deaths of beautiful models.
Giddy sci-fi with some superficial appeal.
Dir: Michael Crichton
Stars: Albert Finney, James Coburn, Susan Dey
LOOKING FOR ERIC
2009
*
A man down on his luck in life imagines advice from ex-Manchester United footballer Eric Cantona to put him right.
By this director's standards a 'feel good' movie, but still one with much grimness among the moderate amounts of humour - it says something about the difficulty of living a happy life in the second half of your existence, but it's overlong and too often feels underwritten and under-rehearsed, a mass of swear words attempting to mask both. Cantona is not a good as actor as he was a footballer but his bits have a certain piquancy (including footage of his on-pitch efforts).
Dir: Ken Loach
Stars: Steve Evets, Eric Cantona, Stephanie Bishop
LOONEY TUNES: BACK IN ACTION
2003
*
Daffy Duck quits Hollywood and travels round the world.
Slight semi-animated knockabout with some fun to be had, but no Roger Rabbit. Poor title too.
Dir: Joe Dante
Stars: Brendan Fraser, Jenna Elfman, Steve Martin, Timothy Dalton, Heather Locklear
LOOPER
2012
**
In the 2040s, 'loopers' are employed to kill victims of criminals sent back from the future; they also have to kill their future selves, which gives one looper several problems.
Impressive sci-fi thriller which provides some meaty food for thought and a few exciting action set-pieces even though it probably doesn't make complete sense, as time travel movies rarely do; but the second half goes in interesting directions you don't expect and there are many clever touches. It's also an example of a film in which the baddies can't shoot for toffee.
Dir: Rian Johnson
Stars: Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Bruce Willis, Emily Blunt, Jeff Daniels
LOOT
1970
0
Bank robbers hide the loot in a funeral parlour.
This black comedy isn't as shocking as it once was and its frantic nature soon becomes tiring.
Dir: Silvio Narizzano
Stars: Richard Attenborough, Lee Remick, Hywel Bennett, Milo O'Shea
LORD CAMBER’S LADIES
1932
*
A philandering Lord has plans for his sick wife.
The only film that Alfred Hitchcock produced but didn’t direct (and it was this director’s only film, although he was mainly a scriptwriter, including for Blackmail and The Old Dark House) is a creaky but likeable drama which shows very few signs that the master had anything to do with it on the floor. It’s a slight tale with a particularly slow and shaky start, there’s no suspense and it doesn’t demonstrate Hitch’s maxim that plot points should be shown rather than talked about, but after it’s finally cranked into gear it provides the odd archaic pleasure (Bruce is usually watchable).
Dir: Benn W Levy
Stars: Nigel Bruce, Gerald Du Maurier, Gertrude Lawrence, Benita Hume
LORD OF THE FLIES
1963
*
Stranded on a remote desert island, a group of schoolboys descend into savagery.
Golding's superb allegorical novel should have spawned a better, more layered film than this - although it has a raw, edgy feel, it's let down by shaky performances from a non-professional cast and scrappy shooting techniques. It has a certain something, but the ultimate movie version of this book is surely still to come.
Dir: Peter Brook
Stars: James Aubrey, Tom Chapin, Hugh Edwards, Roger Irwin
LORD OF THE FLIES
1990
0
American academy boys are stranded on an island and turn violent.
A modernised and Americanised version in which many of the book's subtleties are forgotten.
Dir: Harry Hook
Stars: Balthazar Getty, Chris Furrh, Danuel Pipoly
LORD OF THE RINGS
1978
*
The Fellowship of the Ring embark on a journey to end Sauron's reign over Middle Earth.
Animated attempt to wrestle the epic to the ground, this may bite off more than it can chew but goes down fighting; especially successful are the sequences using cartoon versions of real people.
Dir: Ralph Bakshi
Voices: Christopher Guard, William Squire, John Hurt
THE LORD OF THE RINGS: THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING
2001
**
A Hobbit named Frodo embarks on an epic quest to save his world.
The first part of Jackson's trilogy sets the scene for the rest and while many relished the CGI-inspired spectacle there was a whole other band of folk who just couldn't connect with lengthy goings on in a non-existent fantasy land. Being an adherent of the original books helps considerably.
Dir: Peter Jackson
Stars: Elijah Wood, Orlando Bloom, Cate Blanchett, Ian McKellen, Liv Tyler, Viggo Mortensen, Ian Holm, Christopher Lee, Sean Bean
THE LORD OF THE RINGS: THE TWO TOWERS
2002
**
Frodo and Sam continue their trek to destroy the One Ring.
Considered the weakest of the three, this is still a great achievement in many ways, but tends to define the phrase 'long-winded'.
Dir: Peter Jackson
Stars: Elijah Wood, Liv Tyler, Orlando Bloom, Cate Blanchett, Ian McKellen, Viggo Mortensen, Ian Holm, Christopher Lee, Brad Dourif
THE LORD OF THE RINGS: THE RETURN OF THE KING
2003
**
The final battle for Middle Earth approaches.
The wrap-up: interesting, meaningful themes mix with awesome battle action and stunning special effects.
Dir: Peter Jackson
Stars: Elijah Wood, Orlando Bloom, Cate Blanchett, Ian McKellen, Viggo Mortensen, Ian Holm, Sean Bean
LOST
1955
*
A small baby mysteriously goes missing from its nanny's care in central London.
Fairly basic drama enhanced by extensive location filming showing a beautiful London that has now tragically disappeared. And it'd be even better if the leading lady didn't have such an irritating voice.
Dir: Guy Green
Stars: David Farrar, David Knight, Julia Arnall, Thora Hird
THE LOST BOYS
1987
**
Two brothers move to a new town to discover it is full of vampires.
Popular and influential comedy horror that hasn’t aged all that well – the visuals look murky and the pop songs are irksome – but has a distinct energy and personality.
Dir: Joel Schumacher
Stars: Jason Patric, Corey Haim, Dianne Wiest, Kiefer Sutherland, Corey Feldman
LOST BOYS: THE TRIBE
2008 (V)
0
A brother and sister fall in with vampires.
Awful sequel, an uncoordinated mess in need of script and performance resuscitation.
Dir: PJ Pesce
Stars: Tad Hilgenbrink, Angus Sutherland, Autumn Reeser, Corey Feldman
LOST CONTINENT
1951
0
A band of scientists are despatched to a remote island to look for a rocket that has gone down there.
One for those who enjoy watching men climb mountains again and again and again (and go through forests) - then we get a bit of basic stop-motion dinosaur action and the odd death; it's low-budget tomfoolery with limited ambitions. Maybe the biggest point of interest is a reasonably sympathetic portrayal of a Russian.
Dir: Sam Newfield
Stars: Cesar Romero, Chick Chandler, John Hoyt
THE LOST CONTINENT
1968
0
A ship ends up in a land full of giant crabs and man-eating seaweed.
Demented adventure yarn that starts like an overheated soap opera with lots of angry people shouting at each other, then later becomes a very strange ‘lost world’ movie with crazy monsters and a religious tribe causing trouble. Given an X certificate on original release, one wonders whether Hammer got it horribly wrong about who they were trying to appeal to.
Dir: Michael Carreras
Stars: Eric Porter, Suzanna Leigh, Nigel Stock, Michael Ripper
LOST HORIZON
1937
***
A plane crash delivers a group of people to a land that may be utopia.
Charming vision of peace and harmony that stands among Capra's finest pictures. Much re-cut from its original length, in 1979 it was completely restored.
Dir: Frank Capra
Stars: Ronald Colman, Jane Wyatt, Edward Everett Horton, John Howard
LOST HORIZON
1972
0
Indigestible remake which was surely doomed from the start, especially with its array of mediocre songs.
Dir: Charles Jarrott
Stars: Peter Finch, Liv Ullmann, George Kennedy, Michael York, Olivia Hussey, John Gielgud
LOST IN LONDON
2017
*
Actor Woody Harrelson has a chaotic night in London that sees him end up in a cell.
This was a hugely ambitious experiment: the entire movie was shot in one take on 19 January 2017 and transmitted live to select cinemas - the logistics of making such a thing are daunting, although after viewing it one realises that the story largely involves long sequences in certain premises, linked by vehicle journeys between them. Still, it's amazing how smoothly it comes off, with no fluffing of lines (even by the children). The trouble is that watched now, or watched without any idea of what they did, it's not a riveting tale. Advice to anyone thinking of making a similar film: make it a bit more light-hearted, a bit shorter and with less talk.
Dir: Woody Harrelson
Stars: Woody Harrelson, Owen Wilson, Eleanor Matsuura
LOST IN TRANSLATION
2003
**
A weary, ageing actor spends a week in a Tokyo hotel where he meets a disenchanted American newlywed.
A Marmite movie, with its lovers and haters, this is a curious, undernourished piece that wants you to think it’s saying more than it actually is, probably. Nothing is for sure, though, including Murray’s performance, if that’s what it can be termed as, and this extends to Johansson, who may or may not be acting well also. What is beyond question is that the night-time shots of Tokyo’s steel and glass gleam and the feeling of alienation and disconnectedness is successfully conveyed, although it may take time to fully appreciate this.
Dir: Sofia Coppola
Stars: Bill Murray, Scarlet Johansson, Giovanni Ribisi, Anna Faris
THE LOST MISSILE
1958
*
A mysterious missile circles the Earth threatening destruction.
Sci-fi that doesn't have the budget to put its ideas over - there's lots of stock footage - but at least it has ideas, reasonably original ones at that, and doesn't shrink from the sobriety of a world under threat (it's actually a little scary at times despite its obvious deficiencies). Or at least the terrible consequences of the reaction to a world under threat - as the year 2020 became familiar with.
Dir: William Berke
Stars: Robert Loggia, Ellen Parker, Phillip Pine
THE LOST WEEKEND
1945
****
A few days in the life of a chronic alcoholic.
Superb drama which compellingly and incisively highlights the existence of a man tied to the booze - still the best ever film on the subject, not bad going for a movie from 1945.
Dir: Billy Wilder
Stars: Ray Milland, Jane Wyman, Phillip Terry
THE LOST WORLD
1925
*
Explorers, scientists and a journalist head to a land where dinosaurs still roam.
A relic of a different era of course, but there is still fun to be had watching Willis O'Brien's brontosaurus tearing up London town. In many ways preferable to both of the succeeding films of the same title.
Dir: Harry O Hoyt
Stars: Bessie Love, Lewis Stone, Wallace Beery, Lloyd Hughes
THE LOST WORLD
1960
0
A group of explorers journey into the Amazon to find dinosaurs still live there.
Stodgy monster hokum which uses pet-store lizards with phoney fins; not thrilling on an intellectual or visceral level, it's typical of the fare its creator served up regularly on television.
Dir: Irwin Allen
Stars: Michael Rennie, Jill St John, Claude Rains, David Hedison, Richard Haydn
THE LOST WORLD: JURASSIC PARK
1997
*
Experts travel to an island where dinosaurs apparently live in a perfect eco system.
Sequel which more or less does the job - there are some exciting set pieces, such as the Italian Job-like cliff-hanging - but never feels particularly epic or special, as if Spielberg's heart wasn't really in it.
Dir: Steven Spielberg
Stars: Jeff Goldblum, Julianne Moore, Pete Postlethwaite, Vince Vaughn, Richard Attenborough
LOVE
2015
0
An American in Paris is highly promiscuous until life catches up with him.
It's refreshing to see sexual congress displayed on the scene with such frankness in this explicit drama but it's a shame that the story around it is so interminable, the narrative infuriatingly non-linear and the lead character so loathsome - he and the other characters barely seem to be 'real' humans; visually it's attention-grabbing but things irritate, like the 'blinking' edits, which just make it seem like your screen's not working properly. It's angsty, self-absorbed and self-important, but it will always be able to claim it had a penis ejaculating at the camera in 3D.
Dir: Gaspar Noe
Stars: Karl Glusman, Aomi Mutock, Klara Kristin
LOVE ACTUALLY
2004
0
Romantic entanglements of various couples.
A putrid, toe-curling, vomit-inducing abomination of a movie in which everything smacks of cynicism - the music, the manipulative sentimentality, the use of children, the Christmas setting and so on. Containing only stale jokes and stupid improbabilities, it really is a convincing case for the public execution of Richard Curtis.
Dir: Richard Curtis
Stars: Bill Nighy, Colin Firth, Liam Neeson, Emma Thompson, Hugh Grant, Martin Freeman, Keira Knightley
LOVE AFFAIR
1939
*
Two people fall in love on an ocean voyage.
Old-fashioned romantic picture, with songs, that's not that easy to buy into nowadays - the couple aren't especially empathetic for starters.
Dir: Leo McCarey
Stars: Irene Dunne, Charles Boyer, Maria Ouspenskaya
LOVE & MERCY
2014
**
Brian Wilson of the Beach Boys endures different types of turmoil in the Sixties and the Eighties.
Interesting, thoughtful take on the delicacy of the artistic mind, in particular one of the best songwriters of the 20th century; the two-tiered structure gives it vitality, the acting is good and the recreation of the Sixties and the group's creative sessions especially smart. Beach Boys fans will probably get most out of it.
Dir: Bill Pohlad
Stars: Paul Dano, John Cusack, Elizabeth Banks, Paul Giamatti
LOVE AND OTHER CATASTROPHES
1996
0
Film-school students try to find romance.
Okay drama which is most likely to appeal to Australians or Australian students or Australian lesbians.
Dir: Emma-Kate Croghan
Stars: Matt Day, Alice Garner, Frances O'Connor
LOVE AND OTHER DRUGS
2010
*
A drugs salesman falls for a beautiful 27-year-old woman with Parkinson’s.
Formulaic but not unengaging romantic drama with a pleasing amount of frankness and two likeable leads, particularly Hathaway; its various themes don’t really mesh together but men will have been dragged along to a lot worse films by their girlfriends.
Dir: Edward Zwick
Stars: Jake Gyllenhaal, Anne Hathaway, Oliver Platt, Hank Azaria
LOVE AT FIRST BITE
1979
*
Count Dracula is forced to move out of his Transylvanian castle so comes to New York to look for fresh blood.
Horror spoof likely to be found most funny by those less familiar with the genre; it tends to bring back memories of better, serious vampire films.
Dir: Stan Dragoti
Stars: George Hamilton, Susan Saint James, Richard Benjamin
THE LOVE BAN
1973
0
A Roman Catholic couple are increasingly at odds over the issue of birth control.
This film (a comedy with no laughs) is not a goer now and probably wasn't then: based on a play, it's hopelessly uncinematic apart from the brief fantasy sequences in which Bennett imagines women without their clothes, but more pointedly its portrayal of life suffocated by religious repression feels so depressing and dumb. The lead character is a loathsome prig, his priest not much better, and the general effect is stifling, making the viewer feel a need to gasp for air. It also had the worst alternate title ever thought up, the incomprehensible-to-most It's A 2' 6" Off The Ground World.
Dir: Ralph Thomas
Stars: Hywel Bennett, Nanette Newman, Milo O'Shea, Angharad Rees
THE LOVE BOX
1972
0
A series of stories revolving around a lonely hearts column.
This would have been better if the episodes had been longer and not half-written, but some are agreeably sexy.
Dir: Tudor Gates, Wilbur Stark
Stars: Chris Williams, Alison King, Simon Legree
THE LOVE BUG
1968
*
A racing driver wins races with the help of a VW Beetle with a mind of its own.
Rather tiresome comedy which was popular enough to spawn three follow-ups.
Dir: Robert Stevenson
Stars: Dean Jones, Michele Lee, David Tomlinson
Sequels: Herbie Rides Again, Herbie Goes To Monte Carlo and Herbie Goes Bananas (all qv)
THE LOVE BUTCHER
1975
0
A crippled gardener with a split personality kills women in his neighbourhood.
Twisted trash that'll be of interest to fans of this type of thing - those who aren't would be aghast at being asked to watch a single minute of it. Never mind its nutty leading man, the police force here must be the one of the most incompetent ever put on film.
Dir: Don Jones, Mikel Angel
Stars: Erik Stern, Kay Neer, Jeremiah Beecher
LOVE CAMP
1977
0
A group of women are kidnapped and forced to work as prostitutes in a jungle brothel.
Hilariously absurd Franco opus clearly going for the record for the most bare female flesh ever exposed on film.
Dir: Jess Franco
Stars: Nanda Van Bergen, Ada Tauler, Monica Swinn
LOVE CAMP 7
1969
0
Two undercover female soldiers infiltrate a nasty Nazi camp.
Notorious exploitation sleaze with zilch plot, characterisation or quality; little more than an excuse for the camera to glower in close-up over scenes of sadism and salaciousness, and all shot on small, cramped studio sets. It’s little wonder that the BBFC refused to give this a certificate even in 2002; a shower after viewing is advisable.
Dir: Lee Frost
Stars: Bob Cresse, Maria Lease, Kathy Williams
LOVE ’EM AND WEEP
1927
0
A married businessman gets an underling to stop a former vengeful flame from bothering him.
Not really a teaming of Laurel and Hardy, as Hardy’s part is tiny and peripheral, but a decent knockabout farce with the emphasis on troublesome women; Chickens Come Home was their superior remake, and Way Out West expanded the sequence where Stan is tickled to give up a vital item by a conniving female.
Dir: Fred Guiol
Stars: Stan Laurel, James Finlayson, Mae Busch, Oliver Hardy
LOVE GODDESS OF THE CANNIBALS
1978
0
A murderous temptress kills men who plan to build a nuclear power plant in her village.
Suitably sleazy codswallop that doesn’t offer much cannibalism but does offer a fair bit of the ‘love goddess’ doing her thing, along with The Beast’s Sirpa Lane, who always looks stunning in the nude. The plot, if it can be described as so, meanders everywhere, the locations are fairly unusual and attractive but as for what most punters will be looking for – sex and gore – it more or less delivers, although it’s not among the director’s most noteworthy films.
Dir: Joe D’Amato
Stars: Melissa Chimenti, Sirpa Lane, Maurice Poli
LOVE IS A MANY-SPLENDORED THING
1955
*
During the early days of the Korean War, a Eurasian doctor and an American journalist have a romance.
This is similar in many respects to the previous year's Three Coins In The Fountain (qv), in that it's a colour Cinemascope weepie expressly showing foreign locations to win over audiences back home - which worked, box office wise (both also had hugely popular theme songs). But in truth the two leads are so unloving and stiff that the picture struggles to deliver on its central intent.
Dir: Henry King
Stars: William Holden, Jennifer Jones, Torin Thatcher, Isobel Elsom
LOVE IS A SPLENDID ILLUSION
1970
0
A young couple go on holiday in a failed attempt to stop their philandering.
Uninteresting, humourless drama, neither deep nor especially sexy.
Dir: Tom Clegg
Stars: Simon Brent, Andree Flamand, Lisa Collings, Gay Soper
LOVE LETTERS OF A PORTUGUESE NUN
1977
0
A virgin is forced into a nunnery run by devil worshippers.
Franco's incompetence is shown here not in inane camerawork but in the vapid, halting way the story unfolds.
Dir: Jess Franco
Stars: Susan Hemingway, William Berger, Herbert Fux
LOVE ME NOT?
1989
*
A man on his deathbed remembers erotic vignettes from his life.
It's a terrific idea for a film, but it's executed a little more dourly than might have been expected - would a sunnier attitude not have been more appropriate? Still, it's not without titillation, and it's laudably honest about the forces that drive most men, while its episodes are broadly believable.
Dir: Giorgos Panousopoulos
Stars: Andreas Barkoulis, Betty Livanou, Giorgos Konstas
LOVE ME TENDER
1956
0
At the time of the American Civil War, two brothers battle over one woman.
The first Elvis star vehicle is a fairly uninteresting western but better than most of his later rubbish.
Dir: Robert D Webb
Stars: Elvis Presley, Richard Egan, Debra Paget
LOVE ME TONIGHT
1932
**
A Parisian tailor accidentally becomes ingratiated with the aristocracy.
Lubitsch-esque light comedy with many lilting touches - not least Paris waking up at the start of the film - that have helped it retain some freshness; many of the songs also remain catchy and fun. Great cast too.
Dir: Rouben Mamoulian
Stars: Maurice Chevalier, Jeanette MacDonald, Charles Ruggles, Charles Butterworth, Myrna Loy, C Aubrey Smith
THE LOVE PARADE
1929
*
A French courtier marries a queen but is unsatisfied.
It's easy to see why they went gaga for this back in the day, it was the first film to properly incorporate songs into the narrative, and the fact that even now there are amusing moments and good songs to enjoy indicates that in 1929 it must have been dazzling. Chevalier and MacDonald are also a bit special (it was the first of four pictures in which they duo-ed) and Lane and Roth a hoot, but appreciative audiences nowadays will naturally be small.
Dir: Ernst Lubitsch
Stars: Maurice Chevalier, Jeanette MacDonald, Lupino Lane, Lillian Roth
THE LOVE PILL
1971
0
A sweet is discovered that can be used as an aphrodisiac.
Even by the genre's standards, this is a pretty docile sex comedy, with little of either. Watch for all the passers-by staring at the camera.
Dir: Ken Turner
Stars: Henry Woolf, Toni Sinclair, David Pugh
LOVE STORY
1970
*
Two students fall in love but tragedy intervenes.
A massive shifter of tickets in its day, future viewers might look at this film and wonder what the fuss was all about, as it seems a pretty commonplace love story, well shot and performed, but not as emotionally involving as you'd expect. Is it a mistake that the ending of the movie is given away in the first minute? It certainly has the effect of making you wonder when she's going to fall ill: is it in this scene, is it in this scene...?
Dir: Arthur Hiller
Stars: Ryan O'Neal, Ali MacGraw, Ray Milland, John Marley
LOVE THY NEIGHBOUR
1973
0
Trouble is never far away between black and white neighbours.
In many ways an extraordinary film because within 20 years it would be regarded by the public, especially those of a sensitive disposition, as remarkable for its very existence, what with its freely spoken racial epithets and emphasis on cultural division. The expansion of the popular TV series is almost entirely terrible – bumbling, plotless and not cinematic in the slightest – and shows the whole Seventies, along with Hammer films, in an appalling light, not because of its ‘un-PC’ nature but because of its dumb, juvenile, clodhopping humour.
Dir: John Robins
Stars: Jack Smethurst, Rudolph Walker, Nina Baden-Semper, Kate Williams, Bill Fraser, Patricia Hayes, Tommy Godfrey, Arthur English
LOVE VARIATIONS
1969
0
A 'family doctor' presents what purports to be a sex education film in which various positions are demonstrated.
For titillation then, for easy laughs now, this static exercise is boringly verbose and extremely limited in scope. It was, however, something of a progression in the portrayal of sex and nudity on screen, and some of the advice given still has relevance, thanks to it being quite frank and honest.
Dir: David Grant
Stars: Carolyn Jones, Derek Tracy
THE LOVE WITCH
2016
*
A glamorous widow interested in witchcraft moves to a small town to find a new man.
A film that has things going for it but one that it's also easy to pick fault with; visually it's a triumph, precisely conjuring up the look of late Sixties and early Seventies Technicolor pictures, and all the actors perform in the appropriate manner (in great outfits). But sadly it's languid, verbose, tonally inconsistent and somewhat lacking a point despite its obvious feminist agenda - a half hour less and a bit more bite might have made for a mini-classic.
Dir: Anna Biller
Stars: Samantha Robinson, Jeffrey Vincent Parise, Laura Waddell
LOVELACE
2013
**
Part of the life of Linda Lovelace, star of hugely successful pornographic film Deep Throat.
While being a decent watch in itself, this biopic raises many issues after the fact, most pointedly: how truthful is it? (Probably not very, is the likely answer.) The Rashomon-like narrative initially appears to offer high intrigue but doesn't really go anywhere, and it peters out to an unsatisfactory, sentimental conclusion; certainly it doesn't feel like the whole story, and a better, braver film could have been made.
Dir: Rob Epstein, Jeffrey Friedman
Stars: Amanda Seyfried, Peter Sarsgaard, Sharon Stone, Hank Azaria
LOVELY & AMAZING
2001
*
A woman and her three daughters all suffer from emotional insecurities.
More of a woman's film thanks to its perceptive treatment of women's issues.
Dir: Nicole Holofcener
Stars: Emily Mortimer, Brenda Blethyn, Raven Goodwin
THE LOVELY BONES
2009
*
A 14-year-old girl is murdered and from Heaven watches the events after her death on Earth.
While the book is hardly the modern classic some claim, it surely lent itself to being the source for a solid movie, but this curdled production is little more than an interesting failure: the tone was always going to be tricky to get right but here the story is robbed of any emotion by numerous mistakes, including a Heaven that resembles Teletubby land, poor incidental music choices and Wahlberg and Weisz failing to breathe life into their characters (although that could partly be the script’s fault). Towards the end we have a welcome Hitchcock-like suspense scene, but all too often this adaptation tries the patience – that the final credits last ten minutes is sign enough that the director got his storytelling priorities wrong, going CGI crazy.
Dir: Peter Jackson
Stars: Mark Wahlberg, Rachel Weisz, Susan Sarandon, Stanley Tucci, Saoirse Ronan
LOVE’S LABOUR’S LOST
2000
*
Four students swear to cut themselves off from the world and women for three years – but when a beautiful princess and her three companions show up they soon change their minds.
Branagh has done everything possible to make this appeal to a modern audience – the text has been cut to the bone, it’s short, the Pathe news inserts are fun and there are popular song and dance numbers throughout. One of Shakespeare’s lesser plays probably needed such treatment, as it is so incredibly slight and full of references that only educated contemporary audiences would have understood, but the omission of the main scene of masked confusion is questionable and, although it has been altered, the final act is still much less cheery than what’s preceded it. Still, the costumes and visuals shine on a moderate budget.
Dir: Kenneth Branagh
Stars: Kenneth Branagh, Alicia Silverstone, Alessandro Nivola, Natascha McElhone, Emily Mortimer, Adrian Lester, Richard Briers, Timothy Spall, Matthew Lillard
LOVESICK
1983
0
The ghost of Sigmund Freud gives advice to a psychiatrist who falls in love with a patient.
Lifeless comedy with curious casting.
Dir: Marshall Brickman
Stars: Dudley Moore, Elizabeth McGovern, Alec Guinness, John Huston
LOVING FEELING
1968
0
A disc jockey philanders his way round London.
Tedious drama, incredibly dated.
Dir: Norman J Warren
Stars: Simon Brent, Georgina Ward, Francoise Pascal
LOWER CITY
2005
0
Two lifelong friends fall for the same woman, a stripper involved with gangsters.
Underplotted Brazilian drama which fails because it moves too slowly and you don't care about the characters.
Dir: Sergio Machado
Stars: Lazaro Ramos, Walter Moura, Alice Braga
THE LUCKY DOG
1921
0
A man is thrown out of his boarding house but makes a companion in a little dog.
The first time the greatest ever comic duo shared screen time, and it would be another five years before they did so again (though some sources give this short’s date as 1917). It’s rough-and ready, not particularly funny and with quite an odd plot.
Dir: Jess Robbins
Stars: Stan Laurel, Oliver Hardy, Jack Lloyd
LUCKY JIM
1957
**
A university teacher has difficulties with his colleagues and his love life.
Less subtle but pleasingly mirthsome adaptation of Amis's debut novel, it moves at pace and is full of familiar British comic faces.
Dir: John Boulting
Stars: Ian Carmichael, Terry-Thomas, Hugh Griffith, Sharon Acker, Kenneth Griffith
LUCKY STIFF
1988
0
A man thinks he has found the perfect woman until her family fancy eating him for dinner.
Mildly amusing black comedy which is too PGish.
Dir: Anthony Perkins
Stars: Donna Dixon, Joe Alaskey, Jeff Kober
LUNCH HOUR
1961
*
Two office workers having an affair head to a hotel in their lunch hour, but things don’t turn out as expected.
Interesting, unusual small-scale drama with points worthy of discussion: the first half of the story convincingly shows us passion that has to be restrained, but is then undercut by a second half that becomes extremely irritating, not just because of the yelling and squawking of several characters but because the girl’s behaviour is completely unbelievable – or the behaviour of someone who is mentally ill. Maybe it’s an early signpost on the road to where popular drama was heading, with social and sexual matters being treated how liberal writers would prefer, rather than how people really live. Still, this obscure little effort deserved its 2011 DVD release, if only for the two leads’ performances – it’s certainly hard to avert your eyes from the entrancing leading lady’s features.
Dir: James Hill
Stars: Shirley Anne Field, Robert Stephens, Kay Walsh
LUST, CAUTION
2007
**
In Shanghai during World War 2, a young woman gets caught up in a deadly game of espionage.
Slow and overlong drama of passion and deceit that looks good and eventually rewards, but perhaps not enough to make one recommend it wholeheartedly – Verhoeven’s similarly themed Black Book is a lot more accessible.
Dir: Ang Lee
Stars: Tony Leung Chiu Wai, Wei Tang, Joan Chen
LUST FOR A VAMPIRE
1970
0
Vampires take advantage of a nearby girls' school.
Inert horror that has a plot that’s a no-goer: we know who’s responsible for the killings and care not a jot for the efforts of people to uncover the ‘mystery’. Stensgaard and others look lovely but there isn’t actually that much flesh on display.
Dir: Jimmy Sangster
Stars: Yutte Stensgaard, Michael Johnson, Suzanna Leigh, Ralph Bates, Mike Raven
LOST PLANET AIRMEN
1951
*
The forces of good, mainly a man in a rocket suit, battle the dastardly Dr Vulcan.
Strangely titled feature re-edit of one of the better serials, King Of The Rocket Men (qv), that is really rather fun - it cuts out an hour of the original and is thus even more frenetic and action-packed than the original. And who doesn't love the Rocket Man's control panel?
Dir: Fred C Brannon
Stars: Tristram Coffin, Mae Clarke, Don Haggerty
THE LOST WEEKEND
1945
****
A few days in the life of a chronic alcoholic.
Superb drama which compellingly and incisively highlights the existence of a man tied to the booze - still the best ever film on the subject, not bad going for a movie from 1945.
Dir: Billy Wilder
Stars: Ray Milland, Jane Wyman, Phillip Terry
THE LOST WEEKEND: A LOVE STORY
2022
**
Documentary about the time John Lennon spent with May Pang in the period he was estranged from Yoko Ono.
Clearly a very personal film for Pang, this is another interesting artefact in the ever-growing genre of Beatles adjacent features; it colours in the period known as John's 'lost weekend', demonstrating that he got up to a lot more than boozing. With footage of the likes of Elton John, George Harrison, Ringo Starr and Harry Nilsson, it immerses you in the period, while never-before-seen photos from Pang's archive give it much authenticity - there are even a few snippets of Lennon's solo songs. Fans are unlikely to feel let down by this intriguing movie (which doesn't paint Ono in a good light).
Dir: Eve Brandstein, Richard Kaufman, Stuart Samuels
Narrator: May Pang
THE LOST WORLD
1925
*
Explorers, scientists and a journalist head to a land where dinosaurs still roam.
A relic of a different era of course, but there is still fun to be had watching Willis O'Brien's brontosaurus tearing up London town. In many ways preferable to both of the succeeding films of the same title.
Dir: Harry O Hoyt
Stars: Bessie Love, Lewis Stone, Wallace Beery, Lloyd Hughes
THE LOST WORLD
1960
0
A group of explorers journey into the Amazon to find dinosaurs still live there.
Stodgy monster hokum which uses pet-store lizards with phoney fins; not thrilling on an intellectual or visceral level, it's typical of the fare its creator served up regularly on television.
Dir: Irwin Allen
Stars: Michael Rennie, Jill St John, Claude Rains, David Hedison, Richard Haydn
THE LOST WORLD: JURASSIC PARK
1997
*
Experts travel to an island where dinosaurs apparently live in a perfect eco system.
Sequel which more or less does the job - there are some exciting set pieces, such as the Italian Job-like cliff-hanging - but never feels particularly epic or special, as if Spielberg's heart wasn't really in it.
Dir: Steven Spielberg
Stars: Jeff Goldblum, Julianne Moore, Pete Postlethwaite, Vince Vaughn, Richard Attenborough
LOUISIANA STORY
1948
*
A boy paddles around Louisiana while oil workers do their thing.
Semi-professional drama all about the photography rather than the barely-there acting or the almost invisible script; bizarrely lauded in places like the 1001 Movies book, it's hard to keep concentrating on but it is earthy and good for shots of wildlife (very wild) and tough engineering.
Dir: Robert J Flaherty
Stars: Joseph Boudreaux, Lionel Le Blanc, E Bienvenu
LOVE
2015
0
An American in Paris is highly promiscuous until life catches up with him.
It's refreshing to see sexual congress displayed on the scene with such frankness in this explicit drama but it's a shame that the story around it is so interminable, the narrative infuriatingly non-linear and the lead character so loathsome - he and the other characters barely seem to be 'real' humans; visually it's attention-grabbing but things irritate, like the 'blinking' edits, which just make it seem like your screen's not working properly. It's angsty, self-absorbed and self-important, but it will always be able to claim it had a penis ejaculating at the camera in 3D.
Dir: Gaspar Noe
Stars: Karl Glusman, Aomi Mutock, Klara Kristin
LOVE ACTUALLY
2004
0
Romantic entanglements of various couples.
A putrid, toe-curling, vomit-inducing abomination of a movie in which everything smacks of cynicism - the music, the manipulative sentimentality, the use of children, the Christmas setting and so on. Containing only stale jokes and stupid improbabilities, it really is a convincing case for the public execution of Richard Curtis.
Dir: Richard Curtis
Stars: Bill Nighy, Colin Firth, Liam Neeson, Emma Thompson, Hugh Grant, Martin Freeman, Keira Knightley
LOVE AFFAIR
1939
*
Two people fall in love on an ocean voyage.
Old-fashioned romantic picture, with songs, that's not that easy to buy into nowadays - the couple aren't especially empathetic for starters.
Dir: Leo McCarey
Stars: Irene Dunne, Charles Boyer, Maria Ouspenskaya
LOVE AND DEATH
1975
***
A coward becomes involved in a plot to kill Napoleon.
Surely the best of Allen's 'early, funny films', this is one of the cinema's most deeply intelligent and hilariously funny comedies, the perfect midway point between slapstick and cerebralism, and a bridge between Allen's broader early works and his later, more serious ones. In Keaton he had the most wonderful co-star who here is absolute perfection, ensuring the creator's vision is superbly realised, while the script is packed with goodness, the editing is super-snappy and the photography, of Hungary and France, lends it authenticity. Just a joy to spend time with.
Dir: Woody Allen
Stars: Woody Allen, Diane Keaton, Georges Adet
LOVE & MERCY
2014
**
Brian Wilson of the Beach Boys endures different types of turmoil in the Sixties and the Eighties.
Interesting, thoughtful take on the delicacy of the artistic mind, in particular one of the best songwriters of the 20th century; the two-tiered structure gives it vitality, the acting is good and the recreation of the Sixties and the group's creative sessions especially smart. Beach Boys fans will probably get most out of it.
Dir: Bill Pohlad
Stars: Paul Dano, John Cusack, Elizabeth Banks, Paul Giamatti
LOVE AND OTHER CATASTROPHES
1996
0
Film-school students try to find romance.
Okay drama which is most likely to appeal to Australians or Australian students or Australian lesbians.
Dir: Emma-Kate Croghan
Stars: Matt Day, Alice Garner, Frances O'Connor
LOVE AND OTHER DRUGS
2010
*
A drugs salesman falls for a beautiful 27-year-old woman with Parkinson’s.
Formulaic but not unengaging romantic drama with a pleasing amount of frankness and two likeable leads, particularly Hathaway; its various themes don’t really mesh together but men will have been dragged along to a lot worse films by their girlfriends.
Dir: Edward Zwick
Stars: Jake Gyllenhaal, Anne Hathaway, Oliver Platt, Hank Azaria
LOVE AT FIRST BITE
1979
*
Count Dracula is forced to move out of his Transylvanian castle so comes to New York to look for fresh blood.
Horror spoof likely to be found most funny by those less familiar with the genre; it tends to bring back memories of better, serious vampire films.
Dir: Stan Dragoti
Stars: George Hamilton, Susan Saint James, Richard Benjamin
THE LOVE BAN
1973
0
A Roman Catholic couple are increasingly at odds over the issue of birth control.
This film (a comedy with no laughs) is not a goer now and probably wasn't then: based on a play, it's hopelessly uncinematic apart from the brief fantasy sequences in which Bennett imagines women without their clothes, but more pointedly its portrayal of life suffocated by religious repression feels so depressing and dumb. The lead character is a loathsome prig, his priest not much better, and the general effect is stifling, making the viewer feel a need to gasp for air. It also had the worst alternate title ever thought up, the incomprehensible-to-most It's A 2' 6" Off The Ground World.
Dir: Ralph Thomas
Stars: Hywel Bennett, Nanette Newman, Milo O'Shea, Angharad Rees
THE LOVE BOX
1972
0
A series of stories revolving around a lonely hearts column.
This would have been better if the episodes had been longer and not half-written, but some are agreeably sexy.
Dir: Tudor Gates, Wilbur Stark
Stars: Chris Williams, Alison King, Simon Legree
THE LOVE BUG
1968
*
A racing driver wins races with the help of a VW Beetle with a mind of its own.
Rather tiresome comedy which was popular enough to spawn three follow-ups.
Dir: Robert Stevenson
Stars: Dean Jones, Michele Lee, David Tomlinson
Sequels: Herbie Rides Again, Herbie Goes To Monte Carlo and Herbie Goes Bananas (all qv)
THE LOVE BUTCHER
1975
0
A crippled gardener with a split personality kills women in his neighbourhood.
Twisted trash that'll be of interest to fans of this type of thing - those who aren't would be aghast at being asked to watch a single minute of it. Never mind its nutty leading man, the police force here must be the one of the most incompetent ever put on film.
Dir: Don Jones, Mikel Angel
Stars: Erik Stern, Kay Neer, Jeremiah Beecher
LOVE CAMP
1977
0
A group of women are kidnapped and forced to work as prostitutes in a jungle brothel.
Hilariously absurd Franco opus clearly going for the record for the most bare female flesh ever exposed on film.
Dir: Jess Franco
Stars: Nanda Van Bergen, Ada Tauler, Monica Swinn
LOVE CAMP 7
1969
0
Two undercover female soldiers infiltrate a nasty Nazi camp.
Notorious exploitation sleaze with zilch plot, characterisation or quality; little more than an excuse for the camera to glower in close-up over scenes of sadism and salaciousness, and all shot on small, cramped studio sets. It’s little wonder that the BBFC refused to give this a certificate even in 2002; a shower after viewing is advisable.
Dir: Lee Frost
Stars: Bob Cresse, Maria Lease, Kathy Williams
LOVE CIRCLES
1985
0
A pack of cigarettes travels around the world, usually involved in amorous encounters.
Quite a promising idea for a frothy frolic, with some money spent on the locations and the fashions, but incompetent scripting and directing kill it. It's a shame that makers of erotic films are so bad at making erotic films.
Dir: Gerard Kikoine
Stars: John Sibbit, Josephine Jacqueline Jones, Pierre Burton
LOVE ’EM AND WEEP
1927
0
A married businessman gets an underling to stop a former vengeful flame from bothering him.
Not really a teaming of Laurel and Hardy, as Hardy’s part is tiny and peripheral, but a decent knockabout farce with the emphasis on troublesome women; Chickens Come Home was their superior remake, and Way Out West expanded the sequence where Stan is tickled to give up a vital item by a conniving female.
Dir: Fred Guiol
Stars: Stan Laurel, James Finlayson, Mae Busch, Oliver Hardy
LOVE GODDESS OF THE CANNIBALS
1978
0
A murderous temptress kills men who plan to build a nuclear power plant in her village.
Suitably sleazy codswallop that doesn’t offer much cannibalism but does offer a fair bit of the ‘love goddess’ doing her thing, along with The Beast’s Sirpa Lane, who always looks stunning in the nude. The plot, if it can be described as so, meanders everywhere, the locations are fairly unusual and attractive but as for what most punters will be looking for – sex and gore – it more or less delivers, although it’s not among the director’s most noteworthy films.
Dir: Joe D’Amato
Stars: Melissa Chimenti, Sirpa Lane, Maurice Poli
LOVE IS A MANY-SPLENDORED THING
1955
*
During the early days of the Korean War, a Eurasian doctor and an American journalist have a romance.
This is similar in many respects to the previous year's Three Coins In The Fountain (qv), in that it's a colour Cinemascope weepie expressly showing foreign locations to win over audiences back home - which worked, box office wise (both also had hugely popular theme songs). But in truth the two leads are so unloving and stiff that the picture struggles to deliver on its central intent.
Dir: Henry King
Stars: William Holden, Jennifer Jones, Torin Thatcher, Isobel Elsom
LOVE IS A SPLENDID ILLUSION
1970
0
A young couple go on holiday in a failed attempt to stop their philandering.
Uninteresting, humourless drama, neither deep nor especially sexy.
Dir: Tom Clegg
Stars: Simon Brent, Andree Flamand, Lisa Collings, Gay Soper
LOVE LETTERS OF A PORTUGUESE NUN
1977
0
A virgin is forced into a nunnery run by devil worshippers.
Franco's incompetence is shown here not in inane camerawork but in the vapid, halting way the story unfolds.
Dir: Jess Franco
Stars: Susan Hemingway, William Berger, Herbert Fux
LOVE ME NOT?
1989
*
A man on his deathbed remembers erotic vignettes from his life.
It's a terrific idea for a film, but it's executed a little more dourly than might have been expected - would a sunnier attitude not have been more appropriate? Still, it's not without titillation, and it's laudably honest about the forces that drive most men, while its episodes are broadly believable.
Dir: Giorgos Panousopoulos
Stars: Andreas Barkoulis, Betty Livanou, Giorgos Konstas
LOVE ME TENDER
1956
0
At the time of the American Civil War, two brothers battle over one woman.
The first Elvis star vehicle is a fairly uninteresting western but better than most of his later rubbish.
Dir: Robert D Webb
Stars: Elvis Presley, Richard Egan, Debra Paget
LOVE ME TONIGHT
1932
**
A Parisian tailor accidentally becomes ingratiated with the aristocracy.
Lubitsch-esque light comedy with many lilting touches - not least Paris waking up at the start of the film - that have helped it retain some freshness; many of the songs also remain catchy and fun. Great cast too.
Dir: Rouben Mamoulian
Stars: Maurice Chevalier, Jeanette MacDonald, Charles Ruggles, Charles Butterworth, Myrna Loy, C Aubrey Smith
THE LOVE PARADE
1929
*
A French courtier marries a queen but is unsatisfied.
It's easy to see why they went gaga for this back in the day, it was the first film to properly incorporate songs into the narrative, and the fact that even now there are amusing moments and good songs to enjoy indicates that in 1929 it must have been dazzling. Chevalier and MacDonald are also a bit special (it was the first of four pictures in which they duo-ed) and Lane and Roth a hoot, but appreciative audiences nowadays will naturally be small.
Dir: Ernst Lubitsch
Stars: Maurice Chevalier, Jeanette MacDonald, Lupino Lane, Lillian Roth
THE LOVE PILL
1971
0
A sweet is discovered that can be used as an aphrodisiac.
Even by the genre's standards, this is a pretty docile sex comedy, with little of either. Watch for all the passers-by staring at the camera.
Dir: Ken Turner
Stars: Henry Woolf, Toni Sinclair, David Pugh
LOVE STORY
1970
*
Two students fall in love but tragedy intervenes.
A massive shifter of tickets in its day, future viewers might look at this film and wonder what the fuss was all about, as it seems a pretty commonplace love story, well shot and performed, but not as emotionally involving as you'd expect. Is it a mistake that the ending of the movie is given away in the first minute? It certainly has the effect of making you wonder when she's going to fall ill: is it in this scene, is it in this scene...?
Dir: Arthur Hiller
Stars: Ryan O'Neal, Ali MacGraw, Ray Milland, John Marley
LOVE THY NEIGHBOUR
1973
0
Trouble is never far away between black and white neighbours.
In many ways an extraordinary film because within 20 years it would be regarded by the public, especially those of a sensitive disposition, as remarkable for its very existence, what with its freely spoken racial epithets and emphasis on cultural division. The expansion of the popular TV series is almost entirely terrible – bumbling, plotless and not cinematic in the slightest – and shows the whole Seventies, along with Hammer films, in an appalling light, not because of its ‘un-PC’ nature but because of its dumb, juvenile, clodhopping humour.
Dir: John Robins
Stars: Jack Smethurst, Rudolph Walker, Nina Baden-Semper, Kate Williams, Bill Fraser, Patricia Hayes, Tommy Godfrey, Arthur English
LOVE VARIATIONS
1969
0
A 'family doctor' presents what purports to be a sex education film in which various positions are demonstrated.
For titillation then, for easy laughs now, this static exercise is boringly verbose and extremely limited in scope. It was, however, something of a progression in the portrayal of sex and nudity on screen, and some of the advice given still has relevance, thanks to it being quite frank and honest.
Dir: David Grant
Stars: Carolyn Jones, Derek Tracy
THE LOVE WITCH
2016
*
A glamorous widow interested in witchcraft moves to a small town to find a new man.
A film that has things going for it but one that it's also easy to pick fault with; visually it's a triumph, precisely conjuring up the look of late Sixties and early Seventies Technicolor pictures, and all the actors perform in the appropriate manner (in great outfits). But sadly it's languid, verbose, tonally inconsistent and somewhat lacking a point despite its obvious feminist agenda - a half hour less and a bit more bite might have made for a mini-classic.
Dir: Anna Biller
Stars: Samantha Robinson, Jeffrey Vincent Parise, Laura Waddell
LOVELACE
2013
**
Part of the life of Linda Lovelace, star of hugely successful pornographic film Deep Throat.
While being a decent watch in itself, this biopic raises many issues after the fact, most pointedly: how truthful is it? (Probably not very, is the likely answer.) The Rashomon-like narrative initially appears to offer high intrigue but doesn't really go anywhere, and it peters out to an unsatisfactory, sentimental conclusion; certainly it doesn't feel like the whole story, and a better, braver film could have been made.
Dir: Rob Epstein, Jeffrey Friedman
Stars: Amanda Seyfried, Peter Sarsgaard, Sharon Stone, Hank Azaria
LOVELY & AMAZING
2001
*
A woman and her three daughters all suffer from emotional insecurities.
More of a woman's film thanks to its perceptive treatment of women's issues.
Dir: Nicole Holofcener
Stars: Emily Mortimer, Brenda Blethyn, Raven Goodwin
THE LOVELY BONES
2009
*
A 14-year-old girl is murdered and from Heaven watches the events after her death on Earth.
While the book is hardly the modern classic some claim, it surely lent itself to being the source for a solid movie, but this curdled production is little more than an interesting failure: the tone was always going to be tricky to get right but here the story is robbed of any emotion by numerous mistakes, including a Heaven that resembles Teletubby land, poor incidental music choices and Wahlberg and Weisz failing to breathe life into their characters (although that could partly be the script’s fault). Towards the end we have a welcome Hitchcock-like suspense scene, but all too often this adaptation tries the patience – that the final credits last ten minutes is sign enough that the director got his storytelling priorities wrong, going CGI crazy.
Dir: Peter Jackson
Stars: Mark Wahlberg, Rachel Weisz, Susan Sarandon, Stanley Tucci, Saoirse Ronan
THE LOVERS!
1973
*
The course of true love does not run smoothly in suburban Manchester.
Film version of a two-series ITV sitcom (here given an exclamation mark), not short of Jack Rosenthal's typically adroit dialogue and a capturing of the leads' canny performances. While not thrilling, it has a good deal of great Manchester location shooting and says a lot about the era it was made in, which to the 21st century viewer might look quaint. Slight, but not without value, and quite pleasant.
Dir: Herbert Wise
Stars: Richard Beckinsale, Paula Wilcox, Susan Littler, Joan Scott
LOVERS ROCK
2020 (TV)
0
Young black people in London in the 1980s attend a house party.
A mood piece to be sure - there's very, very little story or character development, mainly just not terribly likeable people dancing, singing, cooking, smoking and occasionally getting violent; possibly in McQueen's postmodern view a drama doesn't really need to have any drama. Its sole achievement is conjuring up an atmosphere of small parts of West London at the time. It's one of five short films made under the 'Small Axe' banner, and was included in the unreliable 1001 Movies You Must See book, hence its inclusion here. There's no way this project would have been greenlit if the characters were white.
Dir: Steve McQueen
Stars: Dennis Bovell, Saffron Coomber, Frankie Fox
LOVE’S LABOUR’S LOST
2000
*
Four students swear to cut themselves off from the world and women for three years – but when a beautiful princess and her three companions show up they soon change their minds.
Branagh has done everything possible to make this appeal to a modern audience – the text has been cut to the bone, it’s short, the Pathe news inserts are fun and there are popular song and dance numbers throughout. One of Shakespeare’s lesser plays probably needed such treatment, as it is so incredibly slight and full of references that only educated contemporary audiences would have understood, but the omission of the main scene of masked confusion is questionable and, although it has been altered, the final act is still much less cheery than what’s preceded it. Still, the costumes and visuals shine on a moderate budget.
Dir: Kenneth Branagh
Stars: Kenneth Branagh, Alicia Silverstone, Alessandro Nivola, Natascha McElhone, Emily Mortimer, Adrian Lester, Richard Briers, Timothy Spall, Matthew Lillard
LOVESICK
1983
0
The ghost of Sigmund Freud gives advice to a psychiatrist who falls in love with a patient.
Lifeless comedy with curious casting.
Dir: Marshall Brickman
Stars: Dudley Moore, Elizabeth McGovern, Alec Guinness, John Huston
LOVING FEELING
1968
0
A disc jockey philanders his way round London.
Tedious drama, incredibly dated.
Dir: Norman J Warren
Stars: Simon Brent, Georgina Ward, Francoise Pascal
LOWER CITY
2005
0
Two lifelong friends fall for the same woman, a stripper involved with gangsters.
Underplotted Brazilian drama which fails because it moves too slowly and you don't care about the characters.
Dir: Sergio Machado
Stars: Lazaro Ramos, Walter Moura, Alice Braga
LOYAL HEART
1946
*
A boy offers up his dog as collateral when his father can't pay a farmer his dues.
Very much a second or third rate Lassie sort of flick, this just about keeps its head above water thanks to the fact that it has a dog in it, and it's well enough intentioned; the story, acting and direction are anything but premium brand though (the wrapping up is somewhat risible). At its heart is an appreciation of the remarkable work that sheepdogs do.
Dir: Oswald Mitchell
Stars: Percy Marmont, Harry Welchman, Philip Kay
THE L-SHAPED ROOM
1962
*
A pregnant young French woman moves into a less-than-salubrious boarding house in west London.
Downbeat melodrama, probably not something to watch when depressed, well done for what it is, with many excellent performances and quality photography, but certainly not a film for the masses, and lengthy. It's more than the sum of its sometimes angsty scenes, in that it captures an atmosphere, and a setting, very well, besides the quiet desperation of everyday existence. The ending might be the saddest thing you ever see.
Dir: Bryan Forbes
Stars: Leslie Caron, Tom Bell, Cicely Courtenidge, Pat Phoenix
THE LUCKY DOG
1921
0
A man is thrown out of his boarding house but makes a companion in a little dog.
The first time the greatest ever comic duo shared screen time, and it would be another five years before they did so again (though some sources give this short’s date as 1917). It’s rough-and ready, not particularly funny and with quite an odd plot.
Dir: Jess Robbins
Stars: Stan Laurel, Oliver Hardy, Jack Lloyd
LUCKY JIM
1957
**
A university teacher has difficulties with his colleagues and his love life.
Less subtle but pleasingly mirthsome adaptation of Amis's debut novel, it moves at pace and is full of familiar British comic faces.
Dir: John Boulting
Stars: Ian Carmichael, Terry-Thomas, Hugh Griffith, Sharon Acker, Kenneth Griffith
LUCKY STIFF
1988
0
A man thinks he has found the perfect woman until her family fancy eating him for dinner.
Mildly amusing black comedy which is too PGish.
Dir: Anthony Perkins
Stars: Donna Dixon, Joe Alaskey, Jeff Kober
LUNCH HOUR
1961
*
Two office workers having an affair head to a hotel in their lunch hour, but things don’t turn out as expected.
Interesting, unusual small-scale drama with points worthy of discussion: the first half of the story convincingly shows us passion that has to be restrained, but is then undercut by a second half that becomes extremely irritating, not just because of the yelling and squawking of several characters but because the girl’s behaviour is completely unbelievable – or the behaviour of someone who is mentally ill. Maybe it’s an early signpost on the road to where popular drama was heading, with social and sexual matters being treated how liberal writers would prefer, rather than how people really live. Still, this obscure little effort deserved its 2011 DVD release, if only for the two leads’ performances – it’s certainly hard to avert your eyes from the entrancing leading lady’s features.
Dir: James Hill
Stars: Shirley Anne Field, Robert Stephens, Kay Walsh
LUST, CAUTION
2007
**
In Shanghai during World War 2, a young woman gets caught up in a deadly game of espionage.
Slow and overlong drama of passion and deceit that looks good and eventually rewards, but perhaps not enough to make one recommend it wholeheartedly – Verhoeven’s similarly themed Black Book is a lot more accessible.
Dir: Ang Lee
Stars: Tony Leung Chiu Wai, Wei Tang, Joan Chen
LUST FOR A VAMPIRE
1970
0
Vampires take advantage of a nearby girls' school.
Inert horror that has a plot that’s a no-goer: we know who’s responsible for the killings and care not a jot for the efforts of people to uncover the ‘mystery’. Stensgaard and others look lovely but there isn’t actually that much flesh on display.
Dir: Jimmy Sangster
Stars: Yutte Stensgaard, Michael Johnson, Suzanna Leigh, Ralph Bates, Mike Raven
